Latest / Health, Life & What’s Next / You’re Making Money. But What Is It Costing Your Health?
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Health, Life and What's Next.
- 0:03with Dr.
- 0:03Jennifer Ginty.
- 0:05This is the podcast where we explore what it really means to live well through honest conversations about health, life, business, and everything in between.
- 0:17Because remember, healing is about more than medicine.
- 0:21I'm so glad you are here.
- 0:24Let's get into today's conversation Some of you are making more money than you ever had made in your life.
- 0:32You got the promotion, the title, the business, the house.
- 0:37Maybe you finally reached the income you used to pray for, and everybody looking at you thinks,"Oh my God, look at her.
- 0:45She's doing well." But guess what?
- 0:47You are exhausted.
- 0:49You're not sleeping the way you should.
- 0:51You keep saying you're going to make the doctor's appointment.
- 0:54You eat whatever's convenient because you have another meeting, and you have no time to meal prep.
- 1:00You answer emails when everybody else in the house is sleeping.
- 1:04You wake up already thinking about what needs to be done.
- 1:08And whenever your body asks you for something, your answer is,"Da da.
- 1:14Not now.
- 1:15Not now, I have a deadline.
- 1:17Not now, my children need me.
- 1:19Not now, the business needs me.
- 1:21Not now, I'm trying to get promoted.
- 1:23I have bills.
- 1:24I'm trying to build something.
- 1:26Not now.
- 1:26Not now.
- 1:27Not now." So I want to ask you a question that I think a lot of successful people, women, don't ask themselves until something forces them to.
- 1:38And I will put myself in this category, so I'm not here to judge, to blame, because I was a"not now" lady.
- 1:46Okay?
- 1:47When I was going to school, building my career, becoming this doctor that I am today, like I'm s- I started from the bottom all the way up, I had no time.
- 1:58It was all about all of the things.
- 2:01When I had a c- a child, my first child, my son, it was all about him.
- 2:05I didn't have time to take care of myself, so I can understand the"not now" situation.
- 2:10But the question I want you to ask is this: what if the life you are working so hard to afford is becoming the life you are too exhausted to enjoy?
- 2:21That used to be me.
- 2:22Three jobs.
- 2:23I am moonlighting in urgent care.
- 2:25I'm going to the emergency room.
- 2:27I am making money, paying my bills, but guess what?
- 2:31Exhausted.
- 2:32Because we talk a lot about how much success costs financially.
- 2:36We don't talk nearly enough about what it costs physically.
- 2:40And I don't think women realize how often we use our bodies to subsidize our ambition.
- 2:48We borrow from sleep.
- 2:49We borrow from recovery.
- 2:51We borrow from our mental health.
- 2:53We borrow from time with the people we love.
- 2:56We borrow from ourselves, and we keep telling ourselves,"I'll pay it back later.
- 3:02Maybe I'll get more rest after this quarter.
- 3:04Maybe I'll just go on a vacation after this promotion.
- 3:08Maybe I'll afford to take a day off," right?
- 3:11You know you have PTOs, but I'm not gonna take it because I cannot afford to.
- 3:14But you can take a day off.
- 3:16I'll go on vacation when I make more money.
- 3:19I'll do the things that I wanna do in my life and enjoy my life after my children get older.
- 3:23Okay, it's everything after I make more money, the business grows, after things calm down.
- 3:28But what if later keeps moving?
- 3:31What if later never comes?
- 3:35I know something about this.
- 3:37Before I opened Wellness Corner NJ, I worked in the emergency room, and one of the very attractive things about that career was that the money was predictable.
- 3:47If I wanted to make more money, guess what?
- 3:49I would take another shift.
- 3:51I work another weekend.
- 3:53I pick up more nights.
- 3:55There was a direct relationship between I give more of myself and I make more money, and that was very seductive, let me tell you.
- 4:04Specifically when you are ambitious, specifically when you are supporting a family, you're a single mom, especially when you worked hard to get somewhere professionally, you can justify almost anything because the reward is measurable.
- 4:18But eventually, I had to ask myself, what is this actually costing me?
- 4:24I was barely home.
- 4:26My schedule was exhausting.
- 4:28I was on my feet all day long.
- 4:30I didn't feel fulfilled anymore, and I had built a life that looked very successful on paper and also at the bank, while privately feeling like something was missing.
- 4:41That is one of the reasons I left.
- 4:44That's the interesting part.
- 4:45I left that schedule, opened my own business, and eventually created some of that same pattern and behavior, building different businesses Having a different job, same woman.
- 4:59Now, nobody was forcing me to work at night, but I was the boss making myself work at night.
- 5:05Nobody told me to wake up thinking about work.
- 5:08Nobody told me to check everything.
- 5:11Nobody told me I had to carry the business at home mentally.
- 5:15I had changed careers.
- 5:18I hadn't completely changed my operating system, and that taught me something very important.
- 5:24Sometimes the problem isn't only the job.
- 5:27Sometimes we have learned to measure our value by how much we can carry.
- 5:32Now, think about what we praise in women, okay?
- 5:36She's dependable.
- 5:37She never misses anything.
- 5:39She handles everything.
- 5:40Everybody can count on her.
- 5:42She works hard.
- 5:43She takes care of the children, the spouse, the parents, the husband, the business.
- 5:47She gets the promotion.
- 5:49She answers the phone.
- 5:50She figures it out.
- 5:52She doesn't complain.
- 5:53And at some point, being needed becomes part of their identity So now resting doesn't simply feel like resting, it feels irresponsible.
- 6:03Saying no feels selfish.
- 6:06Leaving work on time feels like you are not ambitious enough.
- 6:10Delegating feels like you are dropping the ball.
- 6:13And if you're making good enough money while doing all of this, now you got evidence that the sacrifices is working, and that's the trap because money can hide dysfunction for a very long time.
- 6:27You can pay for a beautiful vacation, and you are too exhausted to enjoy it.
- 6:33You can buy the biggest house, but you are barely there to spend any waking hours inside of it.
- 6:39You can build the business you've always wanted and be mentally unavailable to everybody you built it for.
- 6:47You can make enough money to eat at a very fancy restaurant you want, but while eating lunch over your laptop most days.
- 6:55You can afford the spa and still live in a body that never actually relaxes.
- 7:00So what exactly are we calling wealthy?
- 7:04That's the conversation I want us to have because I am absolutely not going to sit here and tell you your money doesn't matter.
- 7:12Okay?
- 7:12Money matters.
- 7:13We like money.
- 7:15As a matter of fact, we love money.
- 7:16We can create choices with money.
- 7:18We can, donate with money.
- 7:19We can take care of other issues with money.
- 7:22Money can create security.
- 7:24It can support your family, your life, your parents.
- 7:27Money give us, plenty to work with.
- 7:29We can travel with money.
- 7:30You get my drift.
- 7:32You can invest in your health with money, but leave situations you no longer need to tolerate.
- 7:37That's what money can also afford you.
- 7:39I want women financially successful.
- 7:42What I don't want is for us to build financial security by continuously withdrawing from our physical health.
- 7:50Your body should not be the silent investor funding every other part of your life.
- 7:56And there's an actual research behind why working patterns deserve our attention.
- 8:01Now, the International Labour Organization did a research study.
- 8:05They look at long working hours and health outcomes, comparing with working 35 to 40 hours per week.
- 8:14People that work 55 hours in one week or more, was associated with an estimated 35% higher risk of stroke and heart disease.
- 8:25Now, I have nurses listening to this, I have doctors listening to this, and they can attest to that.
- 8:30And I know with our nurses, we love to pick up extra shift, but we're doing so exhausted.
- 8:37Okay?
- 8:37We think we're like Energizer bunny, but we are not.
- 8:41So there was a study done, they stated that people that work at night, people that work more that the body can, Compensate for or the body deserve always ended up having with health issues.
- 8:54It is high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, because they are not taking care of themselves, they don't have time to take care of themselves, and they are neglecting what the body needs.
- 9:04Okay?
- 9:05So this is what I want us to really focus on, and I want to be very careful here because wellness culture can become incredibly tone-deaf around this conversation.
- 9:16Not everybody can just work less.
- 9:18Some people are working two jobs because rent is due.
- 9:22Some are single mothers.
- 9:24Some are supporting, parents.
- 9:25We have bills to pay.
- 9:27We have debts.
- 9:27We have medical bills.
- 9:29Some are in the building phase of the business, temporarily like I was.
- 9:34So working less is not something that's realistic when you're building.
- 9:38But I'm not going to say to that woman,"Just protect your peace." That's not useful.
- 9:43Sometimes the season that we are in requires more of you.
- 9:47But what I want you to know is that you should never stay in that season.
- 9:51Things should be temporary in your life, right?
- 9:54So I lived two seasons myself.
- 9:57The question becomes, what part of the load is necessary, and what part have you added because you're becoming accustomed to carrying everything?
- 10:07And now that's the distinction I want you to make.
- 10:10Maybe you cannot reduce your work hours right now, which is fine, but do you also have the answer everybody needs immediately?
- 10:19Do you have to attend everything?
- 10:21Do you have to solve every problem?
- 10:23Do you have to be a perfectionist?
- 10:27Do you have to be available to everyone who has access to your phone?
- 10:31Do you know how to say no?
- 10:32Do you have to say yes?
- 10:33Do you have to go, answer everything, do everything?
- 10:37Do you have to commit to everything?
- 10:40Could somebody else do some of the things that you're carrying right now?
- 10:44Can you delegate?
- 10:45Are you earning more money while refusing to use any of that money to make your life easier?
- 10:51That's when I really want you to think about,'cause for me, I spend money, and to me I feel like, okay, by me hiring someone, delegating is making my life easier, but I'm also putting money in somebody else's pocket.
- 11:07We are exchanging.
- 11:09So I am never guilty for having a housekeeper.
- 11:12I am never feeling guilty for having childcare.
- 11:16I'm not gonna be guilty for having someone in the front desk answering the phone, and someone doing my medical IV, someone helping tackling cases for the patients.
- 11:25So delegating is something that I look forward to doing in the business and also in my life.
- 11:30Because it is appropriate and helps me to focus on something else that can bring more money, but not at the expense of my health.
- 11:38So the thing I want you to consider when it comes to increasing your workload, what is the point of earning more if every raise simply finances a more expensive version of exhaustion?
- 11:51That's the question.
- 11:53Like, why do I have to earn more if I'm not sleeping at night?
- 11:56Why do I have to pick up extra shift and work forty hours a week for a long period of time if that, if my health has to suffer, and I'm not gonna have time to enjoy it?
- 12:06There was a time when I thought the goal was to become capable enough to handle everything, like I'll do it myself.
- 12:13Now, I don't think like that anymore.
- 12:16Now I think one of the privileges of success should be I don't have to carry everything anymore.
- 12:22I can ask someone to help me.
- 12:25All right, so there's another lie underneath all of this.
- 12:28I'll enjoy myself later.
- 12:31That one concerns me the most because later never comes.
- 12:34If you say to yourself,"I'll travel later,""I'll exercise later,""I'll deal with this situation later,""I'll deal with the symptoms later,""I'll make the appointment later,""I'll spend more time with my husband, with my children later,""I'll finally start living life after I hit this number." What number?
- 12:51When are you gonna hit this number?
- 12:52Because the finish line has a very interesting habit of moving.
- 12:57Sometimes you wanna make$10,000 to find that$10,000 was never enough, so you reach 100K, you get the promotion.
- 13:05Now you need the next title.
- 13:07The business reaches one level.
- 13:09Now there's another level.
- 13:10You buy the house.
- 13:12Now there's another goal.
- 13:13Ambition doesn't naturally come with an off switch.
- 13:17You have to decide what enough means somewhere along the way.
- 13:22Otherwise, you can spend your entire life preparing to live, and then you never get to live the life that you so desire.
- 13:29And this is where health gets pushed into the future because I see women come into my clinic, and they will say Dr.
- 13:36Jay, I know I need to deal with this.
- 13:38I know my body hasn't felt right for a while now.
- 13:41I know my sleep is terrible.
- 13:43I know something has changed, but this isn't a good time.
- 13:47I understand, but sometimes I want to ask them, when exactly is your life planning to become convenient enough for you to have your body back?
- 13:57When exactly is it gonna be a good time to get to eliminate the symptoms, to work on you feeling better?
- 14:03Because that perfect window may never come.
- 14:06The health has to exist inside of your actual life.
- 14:10You have to create time for this to happen, not the life you hope to have once everything settles down, because things might not settle down.
- 14:18Life will always throw circumstances at you And no, that does not mean you have to suddenly become a wellness influencer who wakes up at 5:00 in the morning, meditate for an hour, drink something green, exercise for 90 minutes, journal for 100 minutes, dry brushing, cold plunging, all of the thing.
- 14:36Eat organic breakfast before your children wakes up.
- 14:38Most people don't live that life.
- 14:40I don't live that life.
- 14:42You know what I do?
- 14:43I wake up in the morning, I spend maybe 30 minutes with myself, and then I read a passage from my book, and then by 6:30, I'm taking care of my daughter, getting her ready for school.
- 14:54That's how my day starts.
- 14:56But yes, I do create time where I spend time with myself, that I do.
- 15:01I always take care of me first, but I'm not spending hours doing that first thing in the morning.
- 15:06So we don't have the life where we can spend three hours on, self-care in the morning, specifically if you're a working mom.
- 15:14But you still can create the life that you want by exploring opportunities to do things for you first before you throw yourself at the world and taking care of the people that needs you.
- 15:26If you're in a season where you are generally cannot do less, ask yourself a more useful question: What can I stop making harder than it already is?
- 15:37Maybe you can't change jobs.
- 15:38Okay, we're not asking you to quit your job.
- 15:41Maybe you can't change the availability.
- 15:43Maybe you can't change the responsibilities.
- 15:46Can you stop adding unnecessary commitments?
- 15:49Maybe you can take a month off.
- 15:52Maybe you cannot take a month off, but can you take a day off?
- 15:55Can you protect actual recovery somewhere inside of the week?
- 15:59Can you when you go home, turn off everything and focus?
- 16:03Can you look at your PTOs and schedule a vacation, a staycation if you don't have money to travel?
- 16:09Make your environment conducive for, happiness, right?
- 16:14Can you stop volunteering for every additional burden maybe you can't fix everything today.
- 16:20Can you stop ignoring something in your health that has been asking for attention for six months?
- 16:25That's where I want the conversation to go,'cause there's always something you can do.
- 16:30You just have to look at the life you live now, look at your schedule, and then choose the opportunity, create the time, do the things that you need to do I also think high-achieving women need to create different relationship with productivity because some of us don't know when we are done.
- 16:48There's always more work.
- 16:50There's another patient, another idea, another project, another thing you could improve.
- 16:55If your definition rest is when everything is finished, you will never rest.
- 17:01Everything is never finished.
- 17:03I own a business.
- 17:04There's always something I could do.
- 17:06There's always a funnel I can work on.
- 17:08There's always the website I can tweak.
- 17:10There's always something we can do.
- 17:11At some point, I had to decide the existence of more work is not evidence that I should still be working, and that was huge for me when I realized that.
- 17:22So when 4:30 comes, I close up my laptop, I go home.
- 17:25And sometimes if I'm building, a funnel, if I am promoting a specific event, I might have to work on the weekends, but this is not every weekend I'm working.
- 17:36I'm spending my weekend with my family.
- 17:38That's why sometimes you see me at the spa, sometimes you see me traveling with my mom or with my husband.
- 17:43I take the kids out.
- 17:44I'm always doing some things because I need a balance.
- 17:48I know when to go hard, and I know when to rest.
- 17:52I want you to make money, I want you to build some things, ask for the promotion, go after your goals, go after your dreams, invest, create health, support your family, do ambitious things.
- 18:04This is not the podcast about becoming less ambitious.
- 18:08It is about becoming more honest about what ambition is costing you, because sometimes we measure the return, but we never calculate the expense.
- 18:17And maybe that's the question you need to ask yourself,"What does my success cost me right now?" Not someday, right now.
- 18:25Is it costing you sleep?
- 18:26Is it costing you your health?
- 18:29Is it costing you your energy, time with your children, your marriage, your relationship, your moods, your health, your ability to enjoy anything without thinking about work?
- 18:39And then ask another question,"Does it have to cost this much?" That's the difference.
- 18:45Should I quit?
- 18:47No.
- 18:48Should I stay in my career?
- 18:49Should I stop building the business?
- 18:51No.
- 18:52Should I stop being ambitious?
- 18:53No.
- 18:54You don't need to destroy the life you have now.
- 18:57You just have to reassess and evaluate and build a better one, right?
- 19:01Take the things that are serving you in the life that you have now, and then improve it and have more of it.
- 19:06One of the biggest things I learned while building my own business was that more money did not automatically create more peace.
- 19:14I had to create the conditions for peace.
- 19:17Simplify.
- 19:18I have to stop chasing.
- 19:19I have to work differently.
- 19:21I have to say no.
- 19:23I have to use support, allow things to happen without believing I need to control all of them, and start asking,"What am I building all of this for?" That question changes everything.
- 19:35I'm not building a business for me to be exhausted at the end of the day and not have juice for my children.
- 19:41I'm not building a business for me to be in financial burden, and I'm thinking about money all the time.
- 19:46I'm not building a business where I cannot buy a gift for my family, I cannot donate to my family, I cannot purchase a plane ticket for my aunt to come and visit No, I don't wanna reach the end of life with a beautiful financial statement and very little memory of actually living it.
- 20:02I want you to think about something else.
- 20:05What do you believe money's supposed to give you?
- 20:08That's the question I ask.
- 20:10You might say Dr.
- 20:11Gentil, money's supposed to give me security, freedom, time, experiences, the ability to care for the people you love." Then at some point, your life should contain some of those things, not only the promise of them later.
- 20:25If the money's increasing but your freedom is disappearing, I want you to pay attention to that.
- 20:30If you don't have the security, I want you to pay attention to that.
- 20:32If you're not spending time with your family and you're making money, I want you to pay attention to that.
- 20:36If everybody else is impressed with your life and you are privately too tired to enjoy it, that is not success, right?
- 20:43That's not success because you're supposed to be alive inside of your own success, and this is where I want to leave you.
- 20:52There are women listening to me right now who cannot change everything, and I know that, but start with what you can influence.
- 21:01Maybe the goal isn't to work dramatically less tomorrow.
- 21:05Maybe it's to stop giving every available piece of yourself away.
- 21:09Maybe it's to financially make the appointment.
- 21:12Maybe it's to use some of the money you are working so hard for to create support and hire someone to help you.
- 21:19Maybe it's to set an actual stopping point instead of waiting until your body forces you.
- 21:24Maybe it's to stop calling constant exhaustion ambition.
- 21:27Maybe it's to simply admit,"I don't want to keep living this life." That was me.
- 21:34I'm like,"This sucks.
- 21:35I'm making money, and I'm miserable." I'm like,"I don't wanna live this life anymore.
- 21:39I don't want this career anymore.
- 21:40I don't want to work here anymore." I'm literally frustrated.
- 21:43I'm like,"I am not happy.
- 21:44I'm not fulfilled, and it's not worth no amount of money in this world for me to feel this way Your career matters, your business matters, your family matters, your financial future matters, but the body you're using to build all of it matters, too.
- 22:01So go make your money, build the thing, be ambitious, create the life you want, but every once in a while, stop and ask yourself,"Am I building a life that supports my health, or am I using my health to finance a life that I barely have time to enjoy?" Because those are two very different in definition of success, and I know which one I want for you.
- 22:26Go after your goals, but not at the expense of your health.
- 22:32Okay?
- 22:32Thank you so much for listening if you ever wanted to identify the root causes behind your symptoms, uncover what's truly causing the symptoms, I would invite you to book a root cause intensive consultation with me, which is two office visit, 60 minutes we spend, and we look at your lived experience.
- 22:52We look at everything that involves you, and I will prescribe the appropriate testing, and then you come back for the second visit where we go over the results and strategies and my recommendation.
- 23:03If that sounds good to you and you want to know why you have these symptoms, why you cannot get rid of them, I am telling you, until you dig deeper, you investigate, it is gonna be very challenging for you to bounce back and have the body, the life, and the health that you so desire.
- 23:21You see all the links below, and I can't wait to support you.
- 23:24Until then, have a great rest of your week That is fantastic.
- 23:29You completed another episode.
- 23:32So thank you for spending this time with me.
- 23:36If today's conversation gave you a new perspective, I hope you carry it with you into the rest of your week.
- 23:42If someone you love needs to hear this today, share this episode with them.
- 23:48Until next time, take good care of yourself.