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SnapShot: The Fight That Matters · Murders to Music: Crime Scene to Music Scene (Streamline Events and Entertainment)

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to a Murders to Music snapshot.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: So this is 10 minutes or less of something fun, entertaining, or pretty much whatever I want to say.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: On today's snapshot, I want to talk about marriage.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to talk about those times in marriage where you can't stand it, where it is absolutely like hell on earth.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've been married to my wife 27 years.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: And during those 27 years, I think it is fair to say that there have been times where she didn't want to be married to me and I didn't want to be married to her.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not a surprise.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I can say this though, that during those 27 years of marriage, the one constant, the one thread, the one thing that I didn't deserve was her.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: The person that would always hold our marriage together when times got tough was her, not me.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was always ready to run.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was always ready to throw in the towel.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there are times, I'm sure for her, that when she would hear my car pull up in the driveway, the anxiety would go through the roof, the frustration, knowing that I was home, knowing that I was going to be upset, knowing that whatever the situation was that we were in in that time, this was going to be difficult for her.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it would be easier if I just stayed away.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And likewise, there are times in our marriage where she has pulled up in the driveway, and I have been like, Are you kidding me?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: She's home again.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, this is something that you deal with.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I imagine that a lot of my audience has either been married or been in those committed relationships.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And somebody out there can relate to what I'm talking about.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I, you know, at some point, when you got married, when I got married, I was in love with that person.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And they could do no wrong.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: I loved the way it sounded when they crunched their apple.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I loved the way they slurped the milk out of the cereal spoon and they slurped their hot coffee out of the cup.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I would ask them, can you please crunch those nuts louder with your mouth open?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: It is such a cute little sound you make.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then a short period of time later, they make those sounds and you want to drown them.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, there are times in our marriages where things aren't always right or good or positive or happy, but we always have to remember that it started out blissful.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And there was something that drew me and my wife together.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: The one thing my wife never did was let go of that.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe it was through faith, is why we are still together, through our Christianity, through our relationship with God, and through her unwillingness to give up and not believing in divorce is the reason that she and I are still married today.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this episode is not about she and I.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's about the relationships we all find ourselves in, whether it's work, whether it's a marriage, whether it's a relationship, whether it's a sibling relationship or a child relationship, child parent relationship.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: There are those times where we literally can't stand those other people.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so easy in today's day and age to get up and run from that.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's so easy to find a book or a podcast or a best friend that will tell you the way you feel is totally acceptable and you're justified in divorce.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: You're justified in running away.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: You're justified in leaving that job.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're justified in X, Y, or Z.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to find somebody to side with us.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And even if they don't side with us, their silence.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Their silence speaks volumes.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we tell them how we feel, and they just sit there and listen and nod their head.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: They don't say a word.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, to us, that's a reaffirming opinion.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, they they believe me.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: They're on board with me wanting to get a divorce or me wanting to do this or do that.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not necessarily truth.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: The truth is that we have to dig down inside and fight for what we know is right.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Fight not for our feelings, because our feelings can lead us astray.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: We have to fight for what we know is right.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: We have to fight for what love was once there.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: We have to fight for our children.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: We have to fight for the reason we got married and together in the first place.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what the stat is, but I would say over 50-60% of the marriages today get divorced.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in the wedding business.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: That means that half of the people that I have done weddings for will or end up divorced, if not already.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And frankly, I'm surprised some of them made it through their wedding day.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's so easy.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's a disillusionment, they say.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's so easy to separate and go some other direction and look for the grass being greener on the other side of the fence.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think we all know that is not the truth.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just here to say you've got to fight for your right and not to party.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Fight for your right to stay together and to remember what brought people together in the first place.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna bring this back to marriage.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Fight for your marriage, fight for your family, fight for the love that you once had.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, when things go south, when the grass that was greener, when the job that loved you, when the everything else that you were replacing your family with, when all that stuff is gone, the only true thing that is gonna be there will be your family.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be the ones that love you.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: They're the ones that are gonna stick by your side.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: We know we don't always treat them right.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: We know life is not always fair.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: But they are the ones that are gonna love you.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have very few friends from that career that you love so much.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have very few people that are by your side and are gonna stick with you.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Treat the ones you love at home the best.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Treat your family the way that they deserve to be treated.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Don't give your job 90% and your family ten, reverse those numbers.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, the only thing that is gonna love you and be by your side is your family.