Latest / THE DAILY BRIEF / On a human level it makes sense Gabor Maté on Prince Harry and his UK return

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On a human level it makes sense Gabor Maté on Prince Harry and his UK return · THE DAILY BRIEF

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What is Harry like?
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: I found him very personable, very sensitive. Like most of
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: us at age 37 or 38, not fully aware of everything,
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: but he was certainly trying. And he had gone through
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: a lot. He had a very difficult childhood. He was traumatized,
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: the death of his mother at age 12, the lack
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: of emotional closeness in the family. And he was doing
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: his best as a young parent to do therapy and
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: to get to know himself so that he doesn't pass
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: on his traumas to his children.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: That was his big motivation.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: I've been speaking to someone who's thought more about Prince
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Harry's state of mind than most. The prominent trauma therapist
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: and best-selling author Dr Gabor Marte was chosen by Harry
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: for a public interview in 2023 about the royal childhood trauma.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: to publicise the release of Harry's memoir, Spare. I started
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: by asking him what he made of the news that
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: the Sussexes would be returning to the UK.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: On a human level, it makes sense to me that
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: a young father and a son would want to move
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: back close to his family, would want to.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: Be in a home environment.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: He's got an ageing parent with a cancer diagnosis and.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: The deepest human dynamic is attachment, connection, and if that's
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: what's motivating this, I'm not in the least surprised.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Can I ask you, with all the work you've done
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: with people who had trauma as children, and few people
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: can have had as much as Harry and his brother,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: if you've said there was a rift and a disagreement,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: is there a responsibility for Harry to reconcile? Does part
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: of healing... from trauma mean reconciling with the same people
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: with whom you might have had a rift?
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: If by responsibility you mean blame, I'm not interested in
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: blame because people do what they do largely unconsciously, largely
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: driven by dynamics they had no control over.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: But if by.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Responsibility you mean taking responsibility for the present situation, understanding
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: it and doing your best, then we all have that responsibility.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: So I don't blame anybody. That family was a traumatized
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: family for multiple generations. If you look at the childhood
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: of King Charles, a bullied, sensitive child with very little
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: emotional connection to his parents. Then if you look at
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: the childhood of Charles's children with a young, troubled mother
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: and a loveless marriage, why should we blame anybody here?
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: You are unique in our program tonight in that you've
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: sat down with him, met him and interviewed him. What
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: is Harry like?
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: I found him very personable, very sensitive. Like most of
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: us at age 37 or 38, not fully aware of everything,
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: but he was certainly trying. And he had gone through
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: a lot. He had a very difficult childhood. He was traumatized,
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: the death of his mother at age 12, the lack
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: of emotional closeness in the family. And he was doing
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: his best as a young parent to do therapy and
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: to get to know himself so that he doesn't pass
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: on his traumas to his children.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: That was his big motivation. I, as.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: A father, feel a huge responsibility to ensure that I
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: don't pass on any traumas or any, I guess, negative
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: experiences that I've had as a kid or as a.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Man growing up.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: And he also was genuinely committed to removing the stigma
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: of mental illness and mental health challenges from a lot
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: of people around the world. Was that mixed up with
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: egotistical motives and maybe self-serving motivations as well? Well, join
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: the human race. I'm the same way. So it was
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: a mix of genuine healing attempts and dealing with trauma
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: and waking up from his unconsciousness, along with maybe some
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: self-serving motivations as well.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: Like the rest of us.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: And there's everything that is unlike the rest of us
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: in this family. Were you yourself schooled in the online
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: debate about this family, the polarised nature of people who
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: don't know them taking views? Do you regret the way
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: you were treated, the online poison that comes with taking
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: a view about this family?
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: That family and those children grew up in a gilded
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: cage in front.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: Of the whole world.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Where their very troubled parents were scrutinized over their every
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: move and dynamic in their relationship, whether children themselves were
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: intruded upon by the public, where people projected so much
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: on them. So Harry was the subject of a lot
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: of contumely, a lot of rejection, a lot of negative scrutiny,
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: a lot of hostility in the press. I mean, I
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: understood that, but so was I. after I talked with him,
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: and I just got a little taste of what he
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: went through. Some people empathise with him as a troubled
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: person trying to make sense of his life. So, you know,
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: unlike most people, his stuff played out in the public view,
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: which is very difficult for anyone.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Did you come away from your conversation thinking, looking at
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: the work that Harry had done on himself, that if
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: there is someone who can get there and overcome... trauma
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: of this kind, did you think to yourself that Harry's
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: the sort of person who can?
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: I had the feeling that I had the sense, a
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: very strong sense, of here's somebody who has committed their
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: work themselves.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: They'd already done a lot of healing.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: They'd already had come to find themselves more clearly, their
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: individual true self, outside the family context, and that that
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: work will continue for him for the rest of his life.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Dr.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Marte, thank you very much for talking to Newsnight.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: My pleasure. Thank you.