Latest / Arroe Collins Like It's Live / ROBLOX Versus Screen Time Who Wins Dr Elizabeth Milovidov Uncovers The Connection
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Have you checked it out yet? Arrow.net. A-R-R-O-E.net. Net as
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- 0:38Speaker 2: Hi, Arrow.
- 0:39Speaker 1: How are you doing today, Doctor?
- 0:41Speaker 2: I'm very well. How are you?
- 0:43Speaker 1: Very excited to share a conversation with you because Roblox
- 0:45Speaker 1: has been taking a big hit lately from parents and
- 0:48Speaker 1: things who I still don't believe understand what the real
- 0:51Speaker 1: connection is here. But you're here to help save us
- 0:53Speaker 1: when it comes to that screen time and to give
- 0:56Speaker 1: everybody an opportunity to find some peace of mind while
- 0:59Speaker 1: still being entertained.
- 1:00Speaker 2: I'll help where I can.
- 1:02Speaker 1: What is that disconnection? Is it because we see somebody
- 1:07Speaker 1: that's on a screen, we automatically think, oh, my God,
- 1:09Speaker 1: they're on a screen. They should be doing something productive.
- 1:12Speaker 1: When in reality, doesn't Roblox really give people the opportunity
- 1:16Speaker 1: to be constructive inside their imaginations?
- 1:21Speaker 3: Well, I think that I do think that Roblox is
- 1:25Speaker 3: one of many platforms that people just don't necessarily understand
- 1:29Speaker 3: because we just it's new and it's something that we
- 1:32Speaker 3: need to.
- 1:33Speaker 2: Know more about.
- 1:34Speaker 1: I mean, it's just one of those things that I
- 1:37Speaker 1: see them because I work for a grocery store. I
- 1:38Speaker 1: see them come in and get the cards. So I
- 1:41Speaker 1: know how many of these cards that we're selling. And
- 1:43Speaker 1: I also see the grandparents and more than the parents
- 1:46Speaker 1: are buying the card for the kids. That's the reason
- 1:48Speaker 1: why I think it's so important when you talk about
- 1:50Speaker 1: summer to school resetting. I think that is so important
- 1:54Speaker 1: to everybody who's involved here.
- 1:58Speaker 3: Yes, and I am a grandparent. And so you're speaking
- 2:01Speaker 3: my love language. You're absolutely correct.
- 2:05Speaker 1: I mean, because I don't want to take anything away
- 2:07Speaker 1: from the kids, but at the same time, I truly
- 2:10Speaker 1: understand how much time I put on that screen. I
- 2:12Speaker 1: don't want someone to go through my addiction.
- 2:14Speaker 3: Well, I think that part of the solution is that
- 2:20Speaker 3: we as adults need to be where our kids are.
- 2:24Speaker 3: And so we need to, adults, be in the game.
- 2:28Speaker 2: We need to be.
- 2:29Speaker 3: Immersed and we need to ask questions, which is a process.
- 2:34Speaker 3: summer to the.
- 2:36Speaker 2: School time as a reset.
- 2:38Speaker 3: This is a perfect opportunity for us to establish a
- 2:42Speaker 3: wonderful routine for new school year, new school supplies, new
- 2:48Speaker 3: online opportunities for new routines with gaming, new routines with online.
- 2:54Speaker 3: So as we establish new routines, new morning routines, let's
- 2:58Speaker 3: take the time to establish new online routines for our
- 3:03Speaker 3: digital reset.
- 3:03Speaker 2: For our kids.
- 3:05Speaker 3: So let's tell our kids, hey, we're not going to
- 3:08Speaker 3: be online during these hours.
- 3:10Speaker 2: We're not going to pick up a computer. We're not
- 3:12Speaker 2: going to be on games.
- 3:13Speaker 3: We're going to establish a new digital routine for this
- 3:16Speaker 3: school year. And that includes what time we're going to
- 3:20Speaker 3: be online, when we're going to be online, and what
- 3:23Speaker 3: we're going to be online, what platforms we're going to
- 3:25Speaker 3: be on.
- 3:26Speaker 1: I want young adults to understand that it's not just
- 3:28Speaker 1: them that's being watched on this or going through these
- 3:31Speaker 1: same disciplines and accountability. Because even myself, I will not
- 3:34Speaker 1: go anywhere near the email until my work is done.
- 3:38Speaker 1: Then I can go into it, but then I can't
- 3:40Speaker 1: stay there all day. So, I mean, I'm going through
- 3:42Speaker 1: the same thing they're going through. It's just that they're
- 3:45Speaker 1: a little bit younger than I am. That's true.
- 3:48Speaker 3: And I'm probably a lot older than you, Aero, but
- 3:52Speaker 3: I have to establish patterns myself because I have to
- 3:55Speaker 3: set a timer. How many of us as adults have
- 3:58Speaker 3: intended to get online and post one thing, and then
- 4:02Speaker 3: we've been online, we find out for 30 minutes because
- 4:04Speaker 3: we've gotten down a rabbit hole?
- 4:06Speaker 2: It's normal.
- 4:07Speaker 3: It happens to the best of us, and it happens
- 4:10Speaker 3: to the.
- 4:10Speaker 2: Youngest of us as well. So what we have to
- 4:13Speaker 2: do as.
- 4:14Speaker 3: Adults and parents is establish those guardrails for our kids
- 4:18Speaker 3: because they are going to have much more difficult times
- 4:21Speaker 3: than we do as adults and we know better and
- 4:24Speaker 3: they sometimes don't know better.
- 4:26Speaker 2: So we have to use the guard rules in place.
- 4:29Speaker 3: Sleep timers or even establishing an online timer just to
- 4:35Speaker 3: put those guard rules in place so that our kids
- 4:37Speaker 3: have established routines and guard rules. It's difficult for us
- 4:44Speaker 3: equally if not more difficult for them.
- 4:47Speaker 1: Now, do you think that's one of the things that
- 4:49Speaker 1: we need to do is get them engaged in this?
- 4:51Speaker 1: In other words, helping them understand why they need to
- 4:54Speaker 1: develop self-regulations. I mean, because I could be the evil
- 4:57Speaker 1: grandfather and say, oh, my God, you're on that thing. Oh,
- 5:00Speaker 1: my God. Because I know how my real father would do.
- 5:02Speaker 1: My father would just go crazy over the FaceTime. But
- 5:06Speaker 1: I mean, I want to be the one that's going
- 5:07Speaker 1: to develop with them and make it more of a
- 5:10Speaker 1: togetherness thing rather than you're being forced to do this.
- 5:15Speaker 3: I do think we need to do that with them
- 5:16Speaker 3: because as you remember, when we were younger, if you
- 5:21Speaker 3: were told not to do something, that.
- 5:23Speaker 2: Almost made you want to do it even more. I did.
- 5:25Speaker 2: So we need to talk about why we're saying.
- 5:28Speaker 3: This, explain to them that these are the guardrails, why
- 5:32Speaker 3: these are the guardrails, make it age appropriate, but then
- 5:35Speaker 3: also give them a little bit of the.
- 5:41Speaker 2: And maybe give them a little bit of.
- 5:43Speaker 3: A leeway or some rewards if they accomplish the goal.
- 5:48Speaker 3: But don't make it too rigid. Make it age appropriate.
- 5:51Speaker 3: But the goal is, the rule is still the rule.
- 5:55Speaker 3: But also, we have to have We have to have consequences,
- 6:01Speaker 3: and they have to know that they exist because we
- 6:04Speaker 3: are trying to protect them. Another point that's very relevant
- 6:08Speaker 3: is be where your kids are.
- 6:09Speaker 2: Be in the games.
- 6:11Speaker 3: Be in the platforms. We have to have.
- 6:13Speaker 2: Parents be there.
- 6:14Speaker 1: Please do not move. There's more with Dr. Elizabeth coming
- 6:16Speaker 1: up next. Kids and screen time. How about adults and
- 6:22Speaker 1: screen time as well? We are back with Dr. Elizabeth.
- 6:25Speaker 1: What about these streaming music outfits? I mean, is that
- 6:29Speaker 1: one of the same thing? Because I'm seeing a lot
- 6:31Speaker 1: of young people with those earbuds in and they're jamming
- 6:34Speaker 1: out to their favorite songs. And I don't know what
- 6:36Speaker 1: they're listening to, but I do when I'm a DJ
- 6:39Speaker 1: at a local elementary school or a middle school, I
- 6:42Speaker 1: know what they're listening to. Does that involve this as
- 6:44Speaker 1: well to get that under control?
- 6:48Speaker 3: Well, I think, again, all types of platforms, no matter
- 6:53Speaker 3: if it's gaming or music or educational, parents need to
- 6:59Speaker 3: be wherever their kids are.
- 7:00Speaker 2: It doesn't matter the platform at all.
- 7:07Speaker 3: Could be turned into something that we don't intend it
- 7:09Speaker 3: to be. And so I think that it would really
- 7:13Speaker 3: be beneficial for parents to be wherever our kids are
- 7:16Speaker 3: and just have your kids, no matter the age, but
- 7:21Speaker 3: particularly the younger and the more teenage age, have them
- 7:25Speaker 3: teach you what they're looking at, where they are building
- 7:34Speaker 3: and then have them show you their friends have them
- 7:37Speaker 3: teach it.
- 7:37Speaker 2: To you.
- 7:40Speaker 3: Figure out where they are, but act like you don't know,
- 7:42Speaker 3: even if you do know, so that they can teach
- 7:44Speaker 3: you where they're going. And then that way you find
- 7:47Speaker 3: out a little information.
- 7:49Speaker 2: They think that they're teaching you. They think that they're
- 7:51Speaker 2: the expert, but then also you get a chance.
- 7:53Speaker 3: To see where they're going. And then that way you'll.
- 7:56Speaker 2: Find out if it's a good thing or a bad thing,
- 7:59Speaker 2: but then you'll know.
- 8:00Speaker 3: And that will help the parents figure out if it's
- 8:04Speaker 3: nefarious or if it's something that is really just harmless.
- 8:07Speaker 2: But do it often. Don't just do it one time.
- 8:09Speaker 2: That's right. Do it multiple times. Do it every month.
- 8:12Speaker 2: You have a check-in.
- 8:13Speaker 3: And then don't do it at the same time during
- 8:15Speaker 3: the month.
- 8:16Speaker 2: Our kids are savvy. Our kids are really good. Yes,
- 8:19Speaker 2: they are.
- 8:20Speaker 3: You've got to figure it out. If it's the first
- 8:21Speaker 3: of the month for one or two months, then o'clock
- 8:26Speaker 3: in the morning, do it at 2. And, you know,
- 8:28Speaker 3: just say, hey, I want to play.
- 8:30Speaker 2: I want to see what games you're doing.
- 8:32Speaker 3: Make it spontaneous. Even if we have to set a timer,
- 8:35Speaker 3: don't let them know what it is. But we have
- 8:38Speaker 3: to really be where they are at all times because
- 8:42Speaker 3: the world is different than it was back in the
- 8:44Speaker 3: 70s when I grew up.
- 8:46Speaker 1: You know what? It's interesting you bring that up because
- 8:48Speaker 1: I'd be interested to find out when their screen time
- 8:50Speaker 1: actually starts because I know that I, to this day,
- 8:53Speaker 1: at 64... that I still have those moments at 3.30
- 8:56Speaker 1: in the afternoon when school was letting out, that at 64,
- 9:00Speaker 1: I feel like, oh my God, where'd my energy go?
- 9:03Speaker 1: This is what I felt like at 3.30 in the
- 9:05Speaker 1: afternoon in the 7th grade versus the 12th grade. I mean,
- 9:08Speaker 1: and I wonder if that's not one of their instigators
- 9:10Speaker 1: or one of their lift-me-ups when it comes to, you know,
- 9:13Speaker 1: this is when school gets out, I'm on that screen.
- 9:16Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
- 9:17Speaker 3: And, you know, a lot of states have made it
- 9:19Speaker 3: so that there's no screen time during the day. Yeah.
- 9:35Speaker 3: when they're on their phone during the day there's technology
- 9:37Speaker 3: that we don't even think about as parents that we
- 9:39Speaker 3: should that will tell us how much screen time their
- 9:43Speaker 3: kids are using during different apps we just don't even
- 9:45Speaker 3: think about it because we don't even think to to
- 9:48Speaker 3: look for that but that's already there there's guardrails in
- 9:51Speaker 3: place we just don't think about it as parents it
- 9:53Speaker 3: will tell you how much time you spent on certain
- 9:56Speaker 3: apps it almost tells you what time of day you
- 9:58Speaker 3: were on it but it tells you how long you
- 10:00Speaker 3: were on Facebook, how long you were on Roblox, how
- 10:03Speaker 3: long you.
- 10:03Speaker 2: Were on certain apps.
- 10:05Speaker 3: We need to use those things because it's giving us
- 10:07Speaker 3: the information that we need.
- 10:09Speaker 1: And I'm not picking on grandparents here because I am one.
- 10:11Speaker 1: But the thing is, though, this is the coolest time
- 10:13Speaker 1: ever in the history of this nation that grandparents are
- 10:15Speaker 1: the coolest people. And we get to do things with
- 10:18Speaker 1: our grandkids. I just want to make sure that they
- 10:20Speaker 1: can pick the restaurant, but you're going to leave that
- 10:22Speaker 1: smartphone in the car. You're not bringing it in. And
- 10:24Speaker 1: I think that we need to just have more grandma
- 10:26Speaker 1: and grandpas to say, hey, look, this is going to
- 10:28Speaker 1: be just like your mom and dad. You're not going
- 10:30Speaker 1: to bring the smartphone to dinner.
- 10:33Speaker 3: You know what, Errol?
- 10:34Speaker 2: I'm a grandma, too.
- 10:35Speaker 3: And I think I'm actually a pretty cool grandma. But
- 10:38Speaker 3: I have a rule at Mimi's house. There's no TV
- 10:41Speaker 3: at the table at Mimi's house. And my grandkids, they
- 10:44Speaker 3: actually they kind of they had some problems with that.
- 10:47Speaker 3: But I looked up one day and each of them,
- 10:50Speaker 3: there's three granddaughters. Each of them had a tablet at
- 10:54Speaker 3: the table and the TV was on because I was
- 10:56Speaker 3: watching the TV.
- 10:57Speaker 2: And each of them had a tablet with something different on.
- 11:00Speaker 3: And I was just like, no, we're not doing that.
- 11:01Speaker 3: So now they say no tablet at the table at
- 11:04Speaker 3: Mimi's house. They don't even bring it to the dinner table.
- 11:07Speaker 3: So their parents, no, no tablet at the table at
- 11:10Speaker 3: Mimi's house. And that's the rule. And so we don't
- 11:13Speaker 3: even have a problem with it anymore. So I think
- 11:15Speaker 3: that's what we need to do instead. establish routines, rules,
- 11:19Speaker 3: and then they just have to follow it.
- 11:21Speaker 2: This is Mimi's house.
- 11:22Speaker 1: Where can people go to find out more about you, doctor?
- 11:25Speaker 1: Because I love the language that you're speaking and I
- 11:27Speaker 1: love where you're putting your energy when it comes to
- 11:29Speaker 1: keeping families in tune.
- 11:33Speaker 3: Well, I actually am just on Facebook right now. So
- 11:35Speaker 3: it's Kareem Moncrief Moffitt, PhD on Facebook.
- 11:40Speaker 2: And that's just where I am.
- 11:41Speaker 1: I love it. Please come back to this show anytime
- 11:43Speaker 1: in the future because what we're talking about is an
- 11:46Speaker 1: everyday thing. It's not like a beginning part of the
- 11:48Speaker 1: school year thing. We need to be doing this throughout
- 11:50Speaker 1: the entire year just to serve as that little reminder.
- 11:53Speaker 3: Absolutely.
- 11:55Speaker 2: Thanks for having me, Errol.
- 11:55Speaker 3: I appreciate you.
- 11:57Speaker 1: Well, you be brilliant today, doctor. Thank you.
- 12:00Speaker 3: You too.