Latest / Wedding Pros who are ready to grow - with Becca Pountney / MAFS, finding success and comparisonitis - an interview with celebrant Kelly Hawes

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MAFS, finding success and comparisonitis - an interview with celebrant Kelly Hawes · Wedding Pros who are ready to grow - with Becca Pountney

• 0:01
  Kelly: I couldn't even count now how many times I've had a recommendation
• 0:04
  from somebody else in the group or somebody I've networked with.
• 0:08
  And do you know what really amazes me is actually I have had recommendations.
• 0:14
  From people I've never heard of , because I think you are networking.
• 0:19
  And then the people you are networking with are networking.
• 0:23
  The name resonates around.
• 0:27
  Becca: I'm Becca Pountney, wedding business marketing expert,
• 0:30
  speaker and blogger, and you are listening to the Wedding Pros
• 0:33
  who are Ready to Grow Podcast.
• 0:35
  I'm here to share with you actionable tips, strategies, and real life
• 0:38
  examples to help you take your wedding business to the next level.
• 0:42
  If you are an ambitious wedding business owner that wants to take your passion
• 0:46
  and use it to build a profitable, sustainable business doing what you
• 0:49
  love, then you're in the right place.
• 0:51
  Let's get going with today's episode.
• 0:56
  Today's guest is one of the loveliest people you could hope to meet in the
• 0:59
  wedding industry as a qualified celebrant.
• 1:01
  She's passionate about giving her couples a personalized ceremony that
• 1:04
  fits their personalities, and is always educating couples, wedding
• 1:08
  suppliers, and venues about why celebrate weddings are a great option.
• 1:12
  With numerous awards and a couple of TV appearances under her belt.
• 1:16
  Kelly has built up a wonderful business and a great reputation in the industry.
• 1:20
  I just know you're gonna love hearing her story.
• 1:22
  Kelly, welcome to the podcast.
• 1:25
  Kelly: Hi, Becca, Thank you.
• 1:27
  That was a really lovely introduction.
• 1:28
  You made me a bit emotional already.
• 1:31
  Becca: That's what we're all about on this podcast is looking back and being
• 1:34
  proud of the journey that you've come on.
• 1:36
  So Kelly, I've given people a little bit of an overview there
• 1:40
  about who you are and what you do.
• 1:42
  Why don't you just start by telling us how you ended up in the wedding
• 1:45
  industry in the first place?
• 1:47
  Kelly: Oh gosh.
• 1:48
  Okay.
• 1:48
  It's.
• 1:49
  A long story, so I'm going to try to cut that right down.
• 1:53
  Basically, I have been self-employed for such a long time now.
• 1:58
  The last business I was running, it was a domestic cleaning agency that I
• 2:03
  ran from home because it worked around the children who are now adults and.
• 2:09
  I guess nine years of doing that and dealing with 30 staff, the stress
• 2:15
  levels were very high by the end of that term and I decided enough was enough.
• 2:21
  I'm going to sell this business, but I don't know what I'm going to do next.
• 2:25
  And that was it really, it was very much looking at myself and
• 2:28
  trying to decide who am I now that I'm not school run Mum , who am I?
• 2:35
  What do I enjoy doing the wedding industry?
• 2:39
  Always pulled me.
• 2:40
  And I've often said, I think that's because of my obsession with Say
• 2:44
  Yes to the dress . Uh, yeah, I just did lots of research to settle
• 2:50
  on what was going to suit me and the hours I wanted to work best.
• 2:54
  And I found this word celebrant.
• 2:57
  I had no idea what it was, but it was when I was researching what a registrar
• 3:03
  kind of needs to be.
• 3:04
  And that was it, Becca, to be honest, um, I saw that, I thought I can do that.
• 3:08
  Got myself booked on a training course and literally haven't looked back since.
• 3:14
  Becca: So it was a bit of a, an exploration then really, it was a bit
• 3:17
  of an exploration into what you wanted to do, who you wanted to be, and this
• 3:22
  celebrant thing came jumping out at you.
• 3:24
  So if anyone's listening and has absolutely no idea still what a celebrant
• 3:29
  is, do you wanna just explain to people.
• 3:31
  What it is and how it works.
• 3:33
  Kelly: Okay.
• 3:34
  The easiest way to explain that is to say that I am an alternative to
• 3:40
  using a registrar for your wedding.
• 3:42
  So I'm the person standing up at the top of the aisle that's gonna be right
• 3:46
  there with you throughout the ceremony, but, It's not no standard wording,
• 3:51
  so I get to know all of my couples.
• 3:54
  I'm gonna say inside out.
• 3:56
  It's amazing how much stuff I know about , the couples after we've got together.
• 4:01
  But we put together between us really a story which very much
• 4:05
  talks about their journey together.
• 4:07
  We celebrate who they are as individuals.
• 4:10
  We celebrate the love they feel for each other.
• 4:12
  Because I think love is shown and felt very differently by us all.
• 4:17
  And you know, I, I write a ceremony that really encompasses who they are.
• 4:22
  I put lots of modern touches in there, a little bit of fun as well.
• 4:26
  I really want to see their guests smiling and laughing throughout rather than
• 4:30
  looking a bit somber because they're bored . Um, so yeah, basically that's it.
• 4:35
  I write the ceremony with the help of the couples and I deliver that on the day.
• 4:40
  Becca: Brilliant.
• 4:40
  So it's not a legally binding ceremony at this point in time, is it?
• 4:45
  But it does mean that people can blend a mixture of religion
• 4:49
  and different personalities and things like that into their day.
• 4:51
  Is that right?
• 4:52
  Kelly: Yes, totally.
• 4:53
  It, it really just means that you have got free reign over what is said
• 4:57
  and done throughout your ceremony.
• 4:59
  There's no standard package.
• 5:02
  You're quite right.
• 5:03
  One of my favorite parts to do is to blend two faiths into one ceremony.
• 5:08
  I think that's a really special thing and a really great,
• 5:11
  great way of incorporating, you know, both your backgrounds.
• 5:15
  We live in a very diverse culture, and I think that should be celebrated in itself.
• 5:20
  We don't have to have religion.
• 5:21
  It can be totally secular.
• 5:24
  To be quite honest, there are no rules.
• 5:26
  I think most of my couples still want the structure that looks
• 5:30
  and feels every bit of a wedding.
• 5:32
  So many that you would expect.
• 5:34
  But if anyone said to me, I'm going to cartwheel down the aisle and
• 5:38
  I'm not gonna have any music, and.
• 5:40
  Oh, I could.
• 5:41
  And you know, Can you tell some jokes?
• 5:43
  Okay.
• 5:45
  . I think that's a big extreme, but it just goes some way of kind
• 5:48
  of showing anything is possible.
• 5:51
  Becca: Amazing.
• 5:51
  So you found the thing that you love doing.
• 5:53
  Now, one thing that people find when they're listening to this podcast
• 5:57
  or when they're talking to me, is that the difficult thing about.
• 6:00
  Starting your own business is starting it now.
• 6:03
  You obviously said that you came into the wedding industry after having
• 6:06
  your own successful cleaning business.
• 6:08
  So if you think right back, we're going back a bit now to before you started
• 6:12
  that, why did you start your own business?
• 6:14
  How did you take the leap to start that own business rather than
• 6:17
  just working for an employer?
• 6:18
  Kelly: Gosh,
• 6:19
  that is interesting.
• 6:21
  One of the biggest factors for me was flexibility of hours.
• 6:25
  You know, when I first went.
• 6:28
  Self-employed.
• 6:29
  My, my kids were really young, so that was a, a massive pull I think with
• 6:35
  the business and I, I mentioned, I, I think the cleaning business is where
• 6:38
  I'd say was a proper business for me.
• 6:41
  And again, I was actually doing a very similar role as an employee, and I just
• 6:48
  kept thinking, this is, this is wrong.
• 6:51
  You shouldn't be treating customers like this.
• 6:53
  The whole, the business package.
• 6:56
  Was was right.
• 6:57
  There was a great business mind behind it, but the way that my employer was doing
• 7:02
  everything to me was completely wrong.
• 7:05
  And I just thought, I can do this so much better by myself.
• 7:08
  And so I did
• 7:10
  . Becca: I love that.
• 7:11
  That is such an entrepreneurial mindset.
• 7:13
  Sometimes people say to me, How do I know if I'll be a good entrepreneur?
• 7:16
  How do I know if I should start my own business?
• 7:18
  And that's what I always say.
• 7:19
  I say, If you are employed and you spend all your employment
• 7:22
  thinking, I could do this better, or why don't they do it like this?
• 7:25
  Or why don't they change the way they do this?
• 7:27
  It would be much more effective then actually.
• 7:29
  That's all you need as an attribute to be your own business owner.
• 7:32
  And so many people I speak to who are now self-employed say that they were
• 7:36
  just, they couldn't go back to employment because they're such bad employees,
• 7:39
  because they wanna make all the changes and do everything in a better way, which
• 7:43
  is the beauty of being self employed.
• 7:46
  So you called it a proper business.
• 7:48
  I wanted to say that your celebrant business is a hundred
• 7:52
  percent a proper business.
• 7:53
  What do you mean by that?
• 7:54
  Kelly: Sorry.
• 7:55
  I was, I was going back to when I was first self-employed, I was
• 7:59
  a nail technician and, and that was really a lot more of a hobby
• 8:04
  around the children than a business.
• 8:06
  That's, that's what I was referring back to my celebrant business and
• 8:11
  I use like exclamation marks.
• 8:14
  I think because we're creative people, we kind of forget that it's a business.
• 8:19
  Um, yes, this, this is every bit a business as any other
• 8:23
  I've been involved with.
• 8:24
  But yeah, I was referring back to my nail technician days.
• 8:27
  I.
• 8:28
  I didn't have any spreadsheets.
• 8:29
  I just, you know, went to, did the, the nails, took the money
• 8:33
  and, and didn't worry about whether I was actually making any money.
• 8:36
  . Becca: Well, you'd be surprised how many people start out in the wedding
• 8:39
  industry in exactly the same place though, because we find something we love
• 8:43
  and we enjoy doing it, and sometimes we forget, well actually I could make some
• 8:47
  money out of this and actually I deserve to be making some money out of this.
• 8:50
  And I think it's also interesting to think about, well, what constitutes a.
• 8:53
  Business because sometimes when we love it, it doesn't feel like work for a start,
• 8:59
  also I think sometimes, and I know this is the position where you are in yourself,
• 9:02
  Kelly, that actually you don't wanna have this huge thing with lots of employees
• 9:07
  anymore because you're trying to strip back and have a less stressful life.
• 9:10
  And so you feel like, Well, I'm not being a proper business owner because I'm
• 9:14
  not growing, but actually there's other ways to define success in your business.
• 9:19
  Kelly: Oh, totally.
• 9:20
  Yeah.
• 9:21
  I, I completely agree with that.
• 9:23
  Um, I have got to the stage in life where I've got really lovely work life
• 9:28
  balance for me, that is a success.
• 9:31
  Yeah, it's, it's really important to find that when you're able to,
• 9:36
  I've, you know, I'm getting on a bit now, , so I've been there, done that.
• 9:41
  I've spent years where I've had.
• 9:43
  Three jobs on the go at once because needs must.
• 9:47
  But I am really fortunate to have got to the place in life where I've got
• 9:50
  the work balance and I love what I do.
• 9:55
  Becca: And that's a place that every single one of us,
• 9:57
  I'm sure aspires to be into.
• 9:58
  So you started to celebrant business, You said you did some training as a celebrant.
• 10:04
  Then what?
• 10:05
  I meet lots of people that kind of go, I'm gonna do.
• 10:08
  And then they step out the door and say, I'm a celebrant now I'm
• 10:11
  a photographer, now I'm a florist.
• 10:13
  And then they don't know what to do next.
• 10:15
  So for you, how did that business journey look like from just deciding you wanted
• 10:19
  to do it to kind of where you're at now?
• 10:22
  Kelly: Lots of hard work and perseverance is the biggest answer to that.
• 10:27
  I think.
• 10:29
  I'm going to say I was lucky.
• 10:31
  But we do make our own luck, don't we?
• 10:34
  So I found your group, Becca, and I know people are gonna think this is really
• 10:40
  cheesy, but your group was one of.
• 10:42
  First finds for me back when you were called Engage Weddings, and there was
• 10:47
  another Facebook group that I also joined, and quite frankly, I, I honestly
• 10:53
  don't think I could have got anywhere without the support of all those other
• 10:58
  businesses that I was networking with.
• 11:00
  People like myself who had just started out and, and lots of other people that had
• 11:05
  been doing the weddings for years really helped me to grow to what I've now got.
• 11:12
  But it did take a good couple of years of networking before people.
• 11:19
  Really started to recommend me, whether that was venues or other suppliers.
• 11:24
  So it's, it's, it's hard, but it's just a matter of keep going.
• 11:29
  Find the right people around you.
• 11:31
  Don't be afraid to ask.
• 11:34
  And never think that you are perfect.
• 11:37
  There's always room for improvement.
• 11:39
  There's always room for growth and development.
• 11:42
  Five years on, I'm still doing all those things.
• 11:45
  Becca: Yeah, so many good tips in there as well, especially around perseverance.
• 11:49
  Cause I think everybody thinks that they need to find success overnight,
• 11:52
  and we see a lot of that to tempt us, especially on the internet.
• 11:56
  You know, join this and you'll find success overnight.
• 11:58
  But the reality is, That you do have to put in the hard work and you don't
• 12:03
  find the success instantly, but little by little, as you build and you look
• 12:07
  back over that journey, you can see how it's grown over time and how those
• 12:11
  little steps that you've put into place have had a big impact on your business.
• 12:16
  Now, you talked about being lucky, but I just wanna come back to that because
• 12:19
  I think it's interesting, isn't it?
• 12:21
  Because you say, Oh, I couldn't have done it if I hadn't have found these
• 12:23
  groups, or These groups really helped.
• 12:25
  Which I'm sure is true, but there was something in you that went looking for
• 12:29
  that, that decided you needed to find that kind of community or even to take the
• 12:33
  step to join in with those kind of things.
• 12:36
  So if there's someone sitting there thinking, Oh, I'd like something like that
• 12:39
  for myself, what would you say to them?
• 12:42
  Kelly: Yeah, you are right.
• 12:43
  Of course, you do have to think, where are these people?
• 12:46
  Where am I going to find my couples?
• 12:49
  And I think that's all you have to do is put yourself in the
• 12:51
  mindset of maybe an engaged couple.
• 12:54
  Where are they going to be looking for you?
• 12:56
  How are they going to reach you?
• 12:58
  And just making sure you've got all those stages in place that if they're going to
• 13:02
  Google your name, you are going to come.
• 13:05
  As high up as you possibly can.
• 13:07
  Obviously when you're starting out, that's really difficult.
• 13:10
  Just tell as many people as possible who you are, what you do, reach
• 13:17
  right outside of your comfort zone.
• 13:20
  That's probably the hardest part, is to just really reach right
• 13:24
  outside of your comfort zone.
• 13:26
  Make yourself known to people that are also meeting those, those couples.
• 13:32
  So for me, That would likely be venues.
• 13:36
  Most couples are going to book their venue before they start
• 13:39
  looking for other suppliers.
• 13:41
  So that was kind of where I just kept starting.
• 13:45
  I still find it a massive struggle getting in with venues.
• 13:49
  . So I don't know what the answer is to that other than just
• 13:52
  make a nuisance of yourself.
• 13:54
  Becca: Keep persevering.
• 13:56
  The thing with venues, and I probably could do a whole podcast episode on
• 14:00
  this, but the thing with venues is there's such a large turnover of staff.
• 14:03
  They're always changing who's in charge of their events.
• 14:06
  They're always changing what their perception of the wedding industry is.
• 14:09
  And actually you can have a venue that doesn't wanna talk to you,
• 14:12
  and then six months later, All of the staff change, you go back to
• 14:15
  them and all of a sudden they do.
• 14:17
  And you can have it the other way around.
• 14:18
  So definitely with venues keep persevering and just because it's a no now or a not
• 14:22
  yet, or even an ignoring you doesn't mean in six months time that won't change.
• 14:27
  Now, networking I know is something that you are really good at.
• 14:30
  You're really great at putting yourself out there.
• 14:32
  And like you said, you are still seeing that as an
• 14:35
  important part of your business.
• 14:36
  How do you think networking with other wedding professionals and venues.
• 14:41
  Impacted you.
• 14:42
  Has it led to bookings?
• 14:44
  Have you got any examples of how that's worked out for you?
• 14:46
  Kelly: It's definitely led to bookings, definitely.
• 14:49
  I couldn't even count now how many times I've had a recommendation
• 14:52
  from somebody else in the group or somebody I've networked with.
• 14:56
  And do you know what really amazes me is actually I have had recommendations.
• 15:02
  From people I've never heard of , because I think you are
• 15:07
  networking and then the people you are networking with are networking.
• 15:11
  The name resonates around and the the, the amount of people that come
• 15:16
  to me, Oh, are you Kelly Hawes?
• 15:18
  And I look at them like, Yes.
• 15:20
  And they're like, Oh, I, I know you or I follow you, or I've heard of you, and.
• 15:26
  I think that blows my mind all the time.
• 15:29
  But then I could also say the same that I know people by their
• 15:32
  business name more than their.
• 15:34
  Their actual names.
• 15:36
  Uh, so if they then turn around and say, Oh, I'm so and so from this cake business.
• 15:40
  Oh, right.
• 15:41
  Oh, I do know who you are.
• 15:42
  . But yeah, the, the networking side of it, um, as, as I say, much as
• 15:47
  it does take a long time, it's had a massive impact on my business.
• 15:52
  I think it's also had a massive impact on my confidence, um, and
• 15:57
  also just that support network to have like-minded people around you.
• 16:03
  All go through the same business problems and understand our day to day
• 16:08
  routines, our day to day problems, that in itself is worth its weight in gold
• 16:13
  to have, You know, here I am working at home on my own, and yet I regard
• 16:19
  all of these people as my colleagues that I can call upon if I've got a
• 16:23
  problem, and I think that really helps.
• 16:25
  Becca: Yeah, it can be so lonely, can't it otherwise working for yourself and
• 16:29
  feeling like no one understands it.
• 16:30
  And I always say, I can have these conversations with my husband,
• 16:34
  but his eyes will just glaze over because he's not as interested.
• 16:37
  Whereas if I sit down with other wedding pros, we can talk for hours
• 16:41
  about different elements of the wedding industry or what's going on
• 16:44
  with the Instagram algorithm, and people find it really fascinating and
• 16:48
  I think that is absolutely priceless.
• 16:50
  The other thing I think is interesting with networking is
• 16:52
  often you don't see the fruits of.
• 16:54
  Either for some time or.
• 16:56
  Ever because you don't know where that one conversation you've had at one
• 17:00
  networking night once or somewhere online has, like you said, ended up through
• 17:04
  friends of friends of friends of friends.
• 17:06
  What you wanna do in this industry, and I say it all the time, is you
• 17:09
  want to be the name that people think of when they say celebrant.
• 17:12
  So if you're listening to this and you're a cake maker, every time I ask
• 17:16
  someone, What cake maker do you recommend?
• 17:17
  You want your name to be first on that list.
• 17:19
  And the only way to achieve that is.
• 17:22
  Being a nice person and being out there and sharing with people.
• 17:25
  And Kelly, a story I haven't told you yet.
• 17:27
  Actually, I was at the National Wedding Show a couple of weekends
• 17:29
  ago and I was talking to a supplier and I think they were a celebrant
• 17:33
  themselves, and I said, Oh.
• 17:34
  And they said, Do you work with any other celebrants?
• 17:36
  I said, Yeah, I work with Kelly.
• 17:37
  I don't know if you've heard of her.
• 17:38
  She went, Oh, I've never met her, but I've heard of her everywhere.
• 17:41
  And it's exactly.
• 17:43
  Said, where, you know, people are talking about you, you've got stuff online and you
• 17:47
  don't quite know how far reaching that is.
• 17:49
  So network is so important and you've gotta keep doing it as well for
• 17:54
  exactly the reasons I've just said.
• 17:56
  Now the other thing that I know you do and have done along your journey is invest
• 18:00
  in your self as well in your business.
• 18:02
  Um, whether that's through the training you did originally through being in my
• 18:05
  members club, why do you think that's an important part of being a business?
• 18:11
  Kelly: Well, I think really just because there's nothing that ever stands still.
• 18:15
  Everything's evolving all the time, whether it be trends in weddings or
• 18:20
  you know, software in business, you can never learn enough is my, in my opinion,
• 18:26
  you've always got something to learn.
• 18:28
  I mean, in every profession I've done through my life, I've been
• 18:31
  on so many training courses, it's easy to think to yourself, Oh, I've
• 18:36
  talked about sales funnels before.
• 18:38
  Why do I need to do this again?
• 18:40
  But you know what?
• 18:41
  Even if I sit there thinking, I have done all this before, I can guarantee
• 18:46
  I will learn at least one more thing or one new way of thinking about something.
• 18:52
  So for me it is about keeping up with trends.
• 18:55
  It's about keeping up with how everyone else is working and just finding new
• 19:00
  ways of streamlining what you already.
• 19:03
  And sometimes, you know what, it's a kick up the bum to remind you
• 19:06
  to do some of these things that you know you should be doing.
• 19:09
  Becca: Yes, we definitely all have that.
• 19:11
  The amount of times I sit in training sessions myself and think I know that
• 19:15
  and I really should be actually doing it and it makes me go away and and do it.
• 19:19
  And especially when you have accountability where you have
• 19:22
  to tell someone next to you that what you're gonna do next, it
• 19:24
  really does make you think, Right.
• 19:26
  I actually better go and sort that out then because I think we're always
• 19:29
  better at telling other people what to do than we are of doing it Our.
• 19:32
  Now, another thing that happens to me quite a lot in conversations is people
• 19:37
  say to me that I'm starting out in this and I just don't know where I'm
• 19:40
  ever gonna get any inquiries from.
• 19:42
  I just don't know where these people are gonna come from.
• 19:44
  So now as you look at your business as it is today, where do you find that
• 19:49
  most of your enquiries are coming from?
• 19:51
  Do you track where they're coming from and how does that picture look?
• 19:55
  Kelly: Yeah, I, I do track them, which can be difficult because often when
• 19:59
  you ask couples, How did you find me?
• 20:02
  They just say on the internet, which is not helpful, , but I think.
• 20:07
  If they say on the internet or from Google, you just know that because
• 20:10
  you're in lots of directories because your social media is up to date and
• 20:14
  you're doing posts on Google that your name is coming up on those first
• 20:19
  couple of pages, so that's great.
• 20:21
  But yeah, my enquiries are coming from.
• 20:25
  All sorts of places, so they never concentrate on just one thing.
• 20:29
  As I say, the recommendations comes from all sorts of networking or
• 20:33
  venues that I've worked at before or friends of friends of friends.
• 20:38
  I am in directories.
• 20:40
  You kind of get the odd one comes in direct from a direct directory,
• 20:43
  but I think sometimes that could be the first port of call and then they
• 20:46
  go off and research you forgetting.
• 20:49
  That, that's where they found you in the first place.
• 20:52
  So yeah, I don't think there's any right or wrong places to be.
• 20:56
  Just show up.
• 20:57
  Even if, like, I, I use Instagram a lot more than I ever did, and I still
• 21:02
  have inquiries coming on Facebook, so I don't leave it dormant, but I'm not
• 21:07
  as sort, prolific working on there as I am on Instagram, but it is up to date.
• 21:13
  So I, I just think it's important to just try to be present.
• 21:18
  In lots of different places.
• 21:20
  But it doesn't mean you have to do them all because that's impossible.
• 21:24
  . Becca: Yes.
• 21:24
  It's about being visible though, isn't it?
• 21:26
  Because I think again, sometimes we are naive.
• 21:28
  We start a business and we think, Great, I'll just put an Instagram post up and
• 21:31
  everyone will come running to me as actually we need to put ourselves in front
• 21:36
  of the right people in the right places.
• 21:38
  And I think it's interesting when you say, um, your couples say
• 21:41
  that they come from the internet.
• 21:42
  You're right.
• 21:43
  That probably.
• 21:44
  Kind of true because I think couples don't just find you
• 21:47
  in one place and then inquire.
• 21:48
  If you're anything like me, when I'm looking into something, I might
• 21:51
  find someone on a directory, then I go and look at their Instagram page,
• 21:54
  then I go and look at their website.
• 21:55
  Then I might end up on their YouTube channel and you go round and round
• 21:58
  and actually you can't remember where you started that process.
• 22:01
  And I think it's important that we realize that people are looking
• 22:04
  at us everywhere we go, isn't it?
• 22:07
  Because we don't quite know where they're coming from.
• 22:10
  So on that same track, if we've got someone starting out either as a
• 22:13
  celebrant or in the wedding industry in general, what advice would you
• 22:18
  give to them if they're sitting there today thinking, I feel like
• 22:22
  I'm never gonna be where Kelly's at.
• 22:23
  I feel like I'm never gonna have that work life balance.
• 22:25
  I feel like I'm never gonna get the enquiries.
• 22:28
  I feel like I'm always gonna have to charge real discount
• 22:30
  rates to get people in.
• 22:32
  What piece of advice would you give to them?
• 22:34
  Kelly: It's the million dollar question, isn't it?
• 22:38
  , I think.
• 22:39
  The first thing is don't be looking at me thinking you need to be like
• 22:44
  me because I've made that mistake and that's quite exhausting.
• 22:50
  you, you need to persevere with everything you're doing and have confidence in
• 22:54
  yourself that the more I always kind of say this, the more mud you throw at the
• 22:59
  wall, eventually some of it will stick it.
• 23:02
  It's just that, just keep throwing it out there.
• 23:04
  Do not expect results overnight, but be true to who you are.
• 23:11
  Also, you know, just keep looking at improving everything
• 23:14
  you you can possibly do.
• 23:16
  And it goes back to that sort of the way you've come across other businesses
• 23:21
  and how you've been treated poorly.
• 23:23
  Make sure you never do that in your business.
• 23:25
  Make sure you are there and quick to answer inquiries.
• 23:28
  You are helpful and you're not just.
• 23:31
  Selling, Selling, selling.
• 23:32
  I think you need to show your personality that goes as far as networking as it
• 23:37
  does to talking direct to couples.
• 23:41
  Yeah.
• 23:41
  It's just a matter of keep going, I think, and just try
• 23:46
  not to be negative to yourself.
• 23:49
  I think we can be our own worst enemies.
• 23:51
  And here I am saying this and I.
• 23:53
  Still do all these things myself, as I say, five years in,
• 23:56
  I still have that self doubt.
• 23:59
  You still have wobbles, but I think part of that is because you care so
• 24:03
  much about what you're trying to do that, um, you can't, you can't always
• 24:08
  be positive, but you know, that's why you need to put yourself into check.
• 24:11
  Right.
• 24:11
  Come on, Kelly, We can do this, but try not to compare yourself to others.
• 24:17
  Is probably the biggest lesson I've ever learned.
• 24:21
  . Yeah, And that is definitely the one that we're all having to remind ourselves.
• 24:25
  All of the time, because it's such an easy trap to fall into now.
• 24:28
  You talk about confidence and you talk about how your confidence has grown
• 24:31
  over the period of your business.
• 24:33
  Becca: And I've definitely seen your confidence grown, especially when
• 24:36
  you come to networking nights and you get out there and you meet people.
• 24:40
  And I know one thing that's been really exciting for you over the
• 24:43
  last couple of years, and to me as a demonstration of how your confidence
• 24:46
  has grown is your TV experience.
• 24:49
  We can't go through this podcast without talking about it, so.
• 24:53
  If people are listening, Kelly has appeared on the last two now series of
• 24:58
  married at First Sight as a celebrant.
• 25:00
  So first of all, Kelly, if people are wondering how on earth did
• 25:03
  that happen, tell us the story.
• 25:05
  Kelly: Gosh, I wish I knew, but I also have this thing I don't
• 25:10
  know if anyone else is like this.
• 25:12
  If I say it out loud and tell the universe what it is I want.
• 25:17
  I can't tell you how many times it actually comes true , so,
• 25:23
  Oh, when it, Oh, I can't even remember when it first happened.
• 25:26
  My cousin had seen an article that.
• 25:30
  last year's series of married at First Sight in the uk was going to use
• 25:34
  celebrants for the first time because before that they were using registrars.
• 25:40
  And I thought, Oh my gosh, this is groundbreaking.
• 25:43
  You know, pre covid people still didn't really know what a celebrant was.
• 25:49
  And so it was still very much about educating people.
• 25:51
  I thought this is fantastic for celebrants.
• 25:55
  And then I was like, I have to get myself on that show, . Um, so I wrote, I emailed.
• 26:03
  E4 and just put myself out there and I thought, What on earth am I doing?
• 26:08
  What am I letting myself in for?
• 26:09
  But I, I, I think if you have those thoughts come across your
• 26:13
  mind, don't think about it.
• 26:14
  Just do it.
• 26:15
  And so I did.
• 26:17
  And then when I had, uh, a reply, an instant reply, I almost fell
• 26:22
  off my chair until I realized that actually what they'd sent me.
• 26:25
  An application as a singleton to go on and get married on the show
• 26:31
  Um, and I thought, Right, okay, I'm not giving up realize that actually
• 26:35
  it's not E4 I need to write to, I need to write to the production company.
• 26:39
  And I did I found out who they were, wrote to them.
• 26:42
  I didn't hear anything and I thought, Oh, well, at least I tried.
• 26:46
  And you know, I think it was again, out of chance that when they did come to start
• 26:53
  the series, they'd found their venue.
• 26:55
  I happened to live very close to one of the venues that they
• 26:58
  were going to be using and.
• 27:01
  Again, I think I probably just came up on a Google search
• 27:05
  celebrants in Hertfordshire perhaps.
• 27:08
  And I got an email out the blue, Hey, have you heard of this show?
• 27:11
  Were you looking for celebrants?
• 27:12
  And that was it.
• 27:13
  Um, I was offered, you know, to come on and do it.
• 27:17
  Am I free for the dates?
• 27:18
  Would I be prepared to do it?
• 27:20
  And, and that was it.
• 27:21
  And I think second time around, they probably just approached
• 27:24
  all the same people again.
• 27:26
  and, and yes, I snapped their hands off once again,
• 27:29
  . Becca: Well, it's very exciting to see your face on the tv, and I know
• 27:33
  that it's been exciting for you.
• 27:34
  Just tell us a bit about what the experience of being on that show was
• 27:38
  like, What was it like being as part of that recording that's on TV right now?
• 27:42
  Lots of people have been watching it.
• 27:44
  What was it like?
• 27:45
  Kelly: It's fascinating.
• 27:48
  There's lots of hanging around, uh, with not a lot happening.
• 27:52
  Lots of little meetings between producers, cameramen.
• 27:56
  I did, I did witness sort of rooms being decorated by florists and all the getting
• 28:00
  together, but generally I'm kind of.
• 28:04
  Whisked out the way a little bit because they don't want
• 28:06
  me to meet anyone involved.
• 28:08
  I, I didn't get to meet the couple, I didn't get to meet their families before
• 28:13
  we're actually in that ceremony room.
• 28:15
  Uh, so kind of what you see when that couple walk in, that's the
• 28:19
  first time I'm seeing them too.
• 28:20
  So it was scary.
• 28:23
  really scary because normally I'm kind of.
• 28:27
  You know, you tell yourself, right?
• 28:28
  I'm the expert in the room.
• 28:29
  I know all about these two.
• 28:31
  I know what I'm going to be saying, You know, and I know what to expect of them.
• 28:35
  And here I am.
• 28:37
  I've had to write something, so I know what I'm saying, but I've
• 28:40
  got no idea if it's relevant to the couple I'm about to see.
• 28:44
  And you are added to that.
• 28:46
  You are surrounded by camera people, sound people, and just all
• 28:51
  sorts going on in the background.
• 28:53
  But do you know what, when it came to.
• 28:56
  Okay, go there.
• 28:58
  I am celebrant doing celebranting.
• 29:01
  , not Kelly, thinking, Oh my God, I'm gonna be on the telly.
• 29:06
  Becca: I just think it's so incredible and such an exciting
• 29:08
  experience for you and definitely one to tick off the bucket list.
• 29:12
  And I think, again, what's inspiring about that story and something
• 29:15
  that I love to talk about all the time is if you're sitting there
• 29:18
  thinking, Oh, I wish I could be on tv.
• 29:19
  I wish I could be on married at first sight.
• 29:21
  I wish I could do this, that and the other.
• 29:24
  Yes.
• 29:24
  Say it out loud.
• 29:25
  Yes, write it down, and then yes, just do something about it.
• 29:28
  Like you said, don't think too much about it.
• 29:30
  If you send an email and it gets ignored, well you're no further
• 29:33
  back, but there's just a chance that the right person might come across
• 29:37
  it or we don't know what happened.
• 29:38
  They might have come across that email and then subconsciously remembered your name.
• 29:42
  We just don't know.
• 29:44
  If you're listening to this, don't think that this is how it works.
• 29:47
  You sit at home one day and someone brings you up and asks you to be on the tv.
• 29:50
  Often.
• 29:51
  If you want something, you've gotta go after it yourself.
• 29:54
  And I think it's incredible that you've been on tv.
• 29:57
  I I get excited every time I see someone posting about it, and I know
• 30:01
  that you love talking about it too.
• 30:02
  So thank you for
• 30:03
  sharing.
• 30:04
  Kelly: Yeah.
• 30:04
  I'm sorry.
• 30:05
  I do talk about it a lot.
• 30:08
  . Becca: It's, it's fascinating.
• 30:09
  Kelly, you talk about it as much as you want, because I love hearing about it.
• 30:12
  So, Kelly, you've done some incredible things.
• 30:14
  You've got your business to kind of where you want it to be in order for you
• 30:18
  to have that great work life balance.
• 30:20
  You've been on the tv, like I said at the beginning, you've won awards.
• 30:23
  What's next for you?
• 30:24
  Have you got any grand plans?
• 30:26
  Are you just looking to keep your business as it is, or is there a focus that's gonna
• 30:30
  change over the next couple of years.
• 30:32
  Kelly: I am really happy with how business is going now, but let's face it, none
• 30:36
  of us ever know what's about to hit.
• 30:38
  We've learned a massive lesson with Covid next year for myself and many
• 30:44
  others I know has been very quiet compared to what we are used to.
• 30:49
  So I'm still not taking my foot off the gas.
• 30:52
  I'm still doing all the things I should be doing, but.
• 30:56
  What I'm now able to do is to actually pick and choose a lot
• 31:01
  more than I ever used to, which couples I'm going to work with.
• 31:07
  I've nailed down the area that I'm willing to travel to.
• 31:10
  No longer am I going to fly all, all around the country chasing a job.
• 31:15
  So that for me is really exciting that I've, I've understood who I
• 31:19
  am, which couples make me happiest because I can't ever say that.
• 31:24
  I don't enjoy.
• 31:26
  All of my weddings, but there are, it is become really apparent to
• 31:29
  me which ones I love the most and they're the couples I'm now chasing
• 31:34
  and anxious to fill my diary with.
• 31:37
  That's where my focus is now, is to just put out the right
• 31:40
  message to find my people.
• 31:43
  Becca: Love that.
• 31:44
  So important and what a great place you've got to in your business.
• 31:47
  And that's again, not chance.
• 31:49
  That's not luck.
• 31:51
  Because of the sheer amount of work and networking and time that you've
• 31:54
  put into getting your business to where it is today over the last five
• 31:57
  years to get you to that position.
• 32:00
  Now, lots of wedding pros out there.
• 32:02
  Are working really hard.
• 32:04
  We've had a busy summer.
• 32:05
  People are just left, right center, working at weddings, doing
• 32:08
  their social media, doing their blogging, all of the other things.
• 32:11
  And so I have a little segment on this podcast that I like to call Wedding Pros.
• 32:15
  It's time to chill out.
• 32:17
  So, Kelly, when it's time for you to get away from the business, get
• 32:21
  away from the work, what do you like to do to just take your mind off?
• 32:25
  Kelly: Oh, I mean, it's easy to think, Gosh, when do I
• 32:27
  ever get time to chill out?
• 32:29
  Because like you say, most of us work at least six days a
• 32:32
  week, but I do make sure that.
• 32:36
  My housework and everything is, is done way before any wedding
• 32:40
  weekends, and I, I do now make sure that I have good time off.
• 32:46
  I love to walk.
• 32:48
  Uh, so often you'll find me and my husband walking around , whether it
• 32:53
  be in the fields, close to home or using our National Trust membership.
• 33:00
  I don't know if I feel a bit old, but I'm a member of the National Trust , and
• 33:05
  we love to go off on these walks.
• 33:07
  And also I found a love of history all of a sudden.
• 33:12
  Um, and we became members of the, uh, palaces.
• 33:17
  Uh, I can't think what it was now called, the Palaces membership.
• 33:21
  So I think there's five on there.
• 33:22
  So we've been doing that through the last few months.
• 33:26
  Um, that's been incredible actually.
• 33:28
  And when we're not out and about in the outdoors, really, we do
• 33:31
  like to watch a bit of crime drama.
• 33:34
  Sort of detective stuff or CSI stuff.
• 33:37
  That's, that's my go to.
• 33:39
  And uh, of course I've been watching Married at First Sight
• 33:43
  . Becca: Of course you have.
• 33:45
  So there we go.
• 33:45
  There's Kelly's TV recommendations, a little bit of crime drama, or of course,
• 33:52
  if you haven't yet watched it, make sure you go watch Married at first,
• 33:55
  like Kelly, which episode are you in?
• 33:56
  If people wanna go and track it down.
• 33:58
  Kelly: Episode five.
• 34:00
  Becca: Here we go.
• 34:01
  You heard it here first.
• 34:02
  The celebrity Celebrant Kelly Horse herself, episode five.
• 34:06
  Go and make sure you've watched it and I still haven't watched it and it
• 34:09
  is still on my list of things to do.
• 34:10
  I promise you, and you'll know when I watch it, Kelly, because I
• 34:13
  guarantee you, you will be tagged on Instagram the moment I watch it.
• 34:17
  Okay, before I let you go, Kelly, there's one question I always end
• 34:21
  every podcast with, and that's when it comes to your own business as you.
• 34:25
  Back.
• 34:26
  What's the one thing that you wish you'd known sooner?
• 34:29
  Kelly: I think it goes back to that not comparing yourself with
• 34:34
  everybody else or anybody else.
• 34:36
  I really did make that mistake, and I know I was following a celebrant, right?
• 34:42
  In the early days.
• 34:44
  I thought, Oh my goodness, She's amazing.
• 34:47
  And, and you know, I was, I loved watching her.
• 34:49
  Uh, every day I'd be watching her stories and then I just felt really
• 34:53
  inferior all of a sudden because there she was being all wonderful
• 34:58
  and I hadn't even got a booking.
• 34:59
  And then, I don't know there was one, I watched something and
• 35:03
  there was just a way about her.
• 35:04
  I thought, Oh, but I'm not like that.
• 35:07
  And then, I don't know the penny clicked.
• 35:09
  I thought, No, I'm not like that.
• 35:11
  So actually, The couples that are looking to book her are not couples
• 35:16
  that are going to be looking for me.
• 35:19
  So I took myself off the stories , I'm not gonna keep following this, this.
• 35:24
  I mean, she's a wonderful celebrant.
• 35:27
  I don't know what she's doing these days.
• 35:28
  She's not in my area.
• 35:30
  Yeah.
• 35:30
  I just took myself out of that situation and then focused on
• 35:34
  just being myself and realizing.
• 35:37
  , that, I am enough, . And there's, you know, it's about matching
• 35:42
  now couples to celebrants.
• 35:44
  And I think that's really important just to be who you are and that
• 35:47
  your right people will find you.
• 35:50
  Becca: Yes.
• 35:50
  And you are enough.
• 35:51
  That's what it says behind me on my desk.
• 35:53
  Whenever I go live, my sign says, You are enough.
• 35:56
  I saw this quote as well, um, on Instagram the other day, Kelly, that I thought
• 36:00
  you'd enjoy before we finish, which was this, Don't let your ice cream melt
• 36:04
  while counting somebody else's sprinkles.
• 36:07
  I thought that was brilliant and I think that's so true when it comes
• 36:10
  to comparisonitis, because we.
• 36:12
  So sucked into comparing ourselves and looking at what other people are
• 36:15
  doing, that we actually lose sight and let go of what we're doing ourselves.
• 36:19
  Kelly, it's been an absolute pleasure to talk to you.
• 36:21
  I've loved getting to know you and watching your business grow and bloom
• 36:25
  over the last five years, and of course, ending up on the TV as well.
• 36:29
  If people wanna find out more about you, Kelly, where can they find.
• 36:32
  Kelly: Well, I'm on Instagram and Facebook at Kelly h Celebrant, or my
• 36:37
  website is kelly h celebrant.co.uk.
• 36:42
  Becca: Fabulous, and I will make sure I put all of Kelly's links in the show notes
• 36:45
  below, and if you do want to reach out to her, she is lovely and so approachable.
• 36:49
  I'm sure she would love to connect with you.
• 36:51
  Kelly, thanks for your time today.
• 36:52
  Kelly: Thanks Becca.
• 36:54
  Becca: Kelly, her story is so inspiring and hearing all about
• 36:57
  the behind the scenes of married at first sight is pretty cool too.
• 37:00
  If after today's episode you want to get serious about growing your
• 37:03
  wedding business and connect with like-minded pros, including Kelly,
• 37:06
  then why not check out my Wedding Pro members lounge, which she's part of.
• 37:10
  The joining link is in the show notes below, and the great news is
• 37:13
  if you use the Code podcast, you get the first month for just one pound.
• 37:17
  I would love to see you there.
• 37:18
  I'll be back on next week's podcast.
• 37:20
  I'll see you then.