Latest / Kickin’ It With KeKe: Life, Love, & MINDSET / Season 7: Episode 5 w/Coach Ariska Scott

Transcript

Season 7: Episode 5 w/Coach Ariska Scott · Kickin’ It With KeKe: Life, Love, & MINDSET

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It is Ryan here, and I have a question for you.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: What do you do when you win?
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Are you a fist pumper, a wooo, a handclapper, a
• 0:08
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• 0:09
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• 0:16
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• 0:33
  Speaker 4: Welcome to Kicking in Wikiki, Kicking It Piki Ki, kick
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: in It Piki Ki.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: For little Personalities, witching up the story on that we
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: make a s story and books Changing ours one day
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: and Fra prompt Sa enjoy sol for her.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: Kicking it with.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Hello. Hello, Hello, and welcome back to another episode of
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Kicking It with Kiki, Life, Love and all that other Ship.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: I am your host, Kiki Chanel. We are back in
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: season seven. Y'all, season seven and we're talking about life,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: love and all that other ship for this season. These
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: seasons we talked about mindset and personal growth, but we
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: are going beyond that. Now, We're moving into a broader, popping,
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: good life, love and all that other shit. Today I'm
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: join with a very special guest. She is not new
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: to the platform, but I always still like to give
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: my guests the opportunity to introduce themselves coach and huska.
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: Hey y'all, Hey, hey, hey, beautiful souls, it's your girl.
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: Coach is your favorite selfish coach. I am the owner, founder,
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: and CEO of a Bountle for Solution, a personal development
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: organization where I offer transformation on life coaching for women.
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: I helped women recognize, identify sources, and eliminate self sabotage
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: and behaviors that disrupt their personal and professional lives.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: I love it. I love it. So how you doing.
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: I'm good.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: I'm good, good, good good, Welcome back. Thank you. Look.
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: I was just going through my memories on Snapchat and
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: a picture of our first interview two years ago on
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: Instagram on Halloween popped up and again shout out to
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: Love Martin as hello girl.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, that was that we had. We had a fun
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: time that night and we got a little deep in
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: that conversation we did.
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: We did talked about survivorship, We did about survivorship. Low
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: shared her experiences and I shared mine with breast cancer.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Right absolutely, And we're gonna get into that. But you
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: know how you been.
• 3:01
  Speaker 5: I've been good. I've been transitioning. Some things have transpired
• 3:07
  Speaker 5: over the past. Oh a couple of weeks. I'm no
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: longer working for them people, because y'all know that's what
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: i'fectionately called them some people job, my full time job.
• 3:16
  Speaker 5: I am now stepping into full time entrepreneurship.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Oh I love it. Congratulations, thank you, thank you.
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: So it's it's been a journey these past couple of
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: weeks and adjusting to all the new things.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, So now that you say that, I want to
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: just dive into we're talking about life doing this segment.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: So when life throws you curve balls, how important is
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: it to have that mindset of pivoting.
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: Oh oh yah. We just talked about pivoting the other day.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: I was talking to somebody. You have to life is
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: about changing that. Life is the only it's not one.
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: Life is one of the only things that's consistently. Every
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: day something is changing in our lives. So you have
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: to embrace it. You have to embrace it. I don't
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: care how hard it may seem. It's going to happen.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: You can't stay stuck forever. So just go and grow
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: with the flow.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, you have to. Otherwise we know the alternative, right yeah, yeah.
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: You be stuck and constantly stuck and not get nowhere
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: when all you gotta do is just make one little step.
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: A world of difference, yep.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: And if you don't change with the times, you're.
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: Gonna get lost beyond very young, very.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: What is one lesson that you have learned about life
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: that you carry to this day, one.
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: Lesson that I learned about life that I care to
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: this day. For me, it will be that God is
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: my constant. Oh, no matter what happens in my life,
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: I don't care who come in and out of my life.
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: He is my constant. He is going to be with
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: me when nobody else is there. He's going to be
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: my confidante. He's going to listen, he's going to give
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: me advice, he is never going to steer me in
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: the wrong direction. So knowing and learning that God is
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: my constant throughout it all, that's it.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: I love that. And so speaking of life, when it
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: comes to God. Can you remember a time where you
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: didn't lean on God and how different your life was
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: then versus now when God is your constant.
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: Ooh. I was the person that would always get in
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: my own way. I was the person that chose others
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: trying to fulfill a void. So I was the person
• 5:43
  Speaker 5: that was in and out of relationships. I'll jump out
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: of one relationship and hopping another one because I ain't
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: want to be by myself. I didn't want to be alone,
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: So I kept jumping in these relationship, jump out of
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: one relationship, being another one the next couple of months,
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: or whatever the case may be, never really taking a
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: time to be by myself and learn myself, learn and
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: learn a lean on God. So twenty sixteen when me
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: and my husband separated, No, we divorced in twenty sixteen.
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: We separated in twenty twelve. We divorced in twenty sixteen.
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: We had to sell our house and I wind up
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: moving into a least property. And that was the first
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: time in my adult life that I had to solely
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: depend on the risk of that was never it was
• 6:28
  Speaker 5: not a risker in somebody else that was nobody paying
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: the other half. Of the rent, nobody paying the other
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: half of the bills, nobody buying the food. It was
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: just me and I had my babies that I had
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: to take care of. So that was my pivotal point
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: in my life.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Oh wow. Yeah, And I talk about God a lot
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: on the podcast because that he is the head of
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: my life and without him, I am nothing. As you
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: begin to grow and develop and grow your relationship with God,
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: how did you notice a change in your life.
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: I noticed a change in me and I noticed that, okay, girl,
• 7:07
  Speaker 5: you let me go back. So my house that we
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: had to sell. My house was in bankruptcy for years,
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: but at least two years I stayed in that house
• 7:19
  Speaker 5: two years without paying a mortgage. They never came got
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: my house or anything, and I was putting the money
• 7:25
  Speaker 5: on the side, but I was like, I'm not paying
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: no mortgage. It's in bankruptcy. It is what it is.
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: I'm not doing it. Two years, me and my kids
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: didn't get evicted. You didn't get put out. That's nobody begard, nobody,
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: nobody Begod. That I did not have to move out
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: of my house. They didn't even push for the paperwork
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: to the eviction paperwork of anything, and all that time,
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: I literally we literally ended up doing a quick sale
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: on the house. Bankruptcy didn't even take the house. I
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: literally sold the house and got money from the house.
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: So it was nobody but go in those two years
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: that me and my kids stayed there without paying the mortgage.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: You know, you did that with a house, and I
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: did it with a car I had. I thought I
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: was hiding the car, but it was nobody but God
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: that kept them people from five minute cars because I
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: needed my car. Was living in the city of Dallas
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: at the time. Oh you definitely, you know you need
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: your car, but otherwise you're gonna be on public relying
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: on public transportation.
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: It's not in every area. It's not in every city
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: because where I said, we don't have public transportation out here.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Listen, I worked five minutes from where I lived and
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: I had to take three buses to work. That's how
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: bad the public transportation was. It didn't have just a
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: bus to go straight down the street. You got to
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: go to this way and that way or whatever. So
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I understand what you're talking about isn't nobody but God.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: It was nobody but God, because God knew I needed
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: a transportation because I needed to work.
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and he knew me and my kids needed somewhere
• 8:52
  Speaker 5: to stay because I ain't had nothing nowhere to put
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: us right. Two years I remember like I could not
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: believe that, and it isn't until I moved out. We
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: sold the house and everything. Like I said, we sold
• 9:03
  Speaker 5: the house. We did af we sail on the house.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Mm wow, let's talk about it. But a little bit
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: about life and friendship. Do you have life long friends
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: where you've had like childhood friends, adult friends, and your
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: now friends, or do you just find yourself having this
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: one or two people that has always been a constant
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: throughout every phase of your life.
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: I have lifelong friends. I have my girls that I've
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: been rocking with forever, and we don't talk every day.
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: I don't think some of at this point, I don't
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: think we talked in about a couple of months or
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: maybe a year. My best friend from elementary school, we've
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: been rocking since six fifth and sixth grade. And my
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: other friend that Shauna, and then my other friend Natasha.
• 9:55
  Speaker 5: Me and Tasha been rolling send to middle school, no
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: high school, and Tasha actually was my sister's best friend
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: and me and her ended up becoming best of friends.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Ye. How important to are those friendships when it comes
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: to life, especially people that grow with you versus somebody
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: just coming in. And I'm a believer that there's no
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: time on relationships when it comes to somebody that comes
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: in your life and you just know that energy is there.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: You know, you just kind of click because that's how
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: we are. We ain't been knowing each other that long,
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: but you you my god for real?
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, real life.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I think that we need those different relationships
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: in life because it helps us stay grounded, it helps
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: us keep fighting, and we need people that will not
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: just be yes people. Right, So how are you? Would
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: you say?
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: Very important because you need that foundation. So Shana Antasha
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: on my foundation. And as you grow and you get
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: older in life, you meet other people. People always say
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: no new friends, but you need new friends at every
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: level in your life. You're gonna need somebody who is
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: going to be there for you. Everybody is not on
• 11:01
  Speaker 5: the same level when it comes to friendships and different things,
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: so you need to surround yourself with different individuals. The
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: reason I got into entrepreneurship was because my two friends
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: that I was working with on them people Jazz were entrepreneurs.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: It is Ryan here and I have a question for you.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: What do you do when you win?
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Like?
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  Speaker 1: Are you a fist pumper, a wooho, a handclapper, a
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• 11:33
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• 12:47
  Speaker 5: One was head of bacon business. That's why I thought it.
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: She helped me get bunch by a pound off the ground.
• 12:52
  Speaker 5: She told me all the things I needed to go
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: through and everything. My friend Larry. Larry helped me see
• 12:58
  Speaker 5: the importance. Dy both help me see the impultance of
• 13:01
  Speaker 5: having your own and doing your own things.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: People are there to teach us. We just have to
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: know who our people are not. Everybody is supposed to
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: be a part of our purpose. And let me ask
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: you this, do you believe that certain friendships can lead
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: your life down the wrong path?
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: Hell yes, yes, ma'am. Everybody ain't meant to go to
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: distance everybody ain't meant to go to distance. You can't
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: pull everybody on a journey that God has a sign
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: for you. Sometimes you gotta let people go and you
• 13:38
  Speaker 5: got to be a friend from a distance. Or sometimes
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: those relationships just fade and you know, you don't even
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: know why they faded, but God know why.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I see this thing on Instagram all the time.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: It says that the people are no longer in your
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: life because God heard conversations that you did not, And
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: we have to we have to tap into that discernment
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: when it comes to life, because life, life, life out here. Yeah,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: and people be actually weird as.
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: Hell beyond very rare with very weird my word.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: And I'm trying to figure out, like why you believe
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: that folks get so weird instead of having conversations. Do
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: you think it's easier just to just be weird than
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: the actual actually have the conversation.
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: Because everybody don't want to have conversations. I'd rather just
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: assume what I want to assume took place, and I
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: don't want to talk about it. So what I have
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: in my mind is what really happened, and knowing not
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: knowing that may not even be the issue. But in
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: my mind, I'm going to take however I perceive it happened.
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: That's what I'm gonna run with, and I don't need
• 14:40
  Speaker 5: to talk about it.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: And be bringing other folks on board having them think
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: the same thing. Yeah, we're gonna switch gears and we're
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: gonna ask about how is the business gone? Tell let
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: everybody how it's gone. What you got going on. I
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: know you said that you are full time entrepreneurship. Talk
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: talk to the people, let them know.
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: It's only been a couple of weeks that I've been
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: in a full time entrepreneur role. Honestly, I've been doing
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: a lot of trainings. I've been getting going to a
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: lot of networking events locally, getting my name out there,
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: meeting all the people that's locally. I'm currently in a
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: leadership training. We have two more weeks or that. It
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: is a five week program. We have two more weeks
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: with that. I'm looking forward to hearing from another program.
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: This is a twelve week cool Heart that I applied for,
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: so I'm waiting to hear back from that. So I'm
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: just getting myself where I could build this solid foundation
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: to make a bouncer for solution what I wanted to
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: be the ultimate goal for a bouncer for Solution is
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: for it to be a community based organization where the
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: community could come and get the things that they need.
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: If they need notarization, they can come and get their
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: papers notarized, if they need to make copies of important documents,
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: if they need mailboxes, community mailboxes, if they need just
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: the resources in a community. I want to work with
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: the re entry population. That's what I did on my
• 16:02
  Speaker 5: previous job. I love, love, love working with the re
• 16:04
  Speaker 5: entry population and helping them get back on their feet,
• 16:07
  Speaker 5: helping them get the trainings that they need. I love
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: being a person that's full of resources. I love guiding
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: people to the place that they may be to get
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: the things that they need. So that's what the overall
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: goal for a BOUNTI for Solution to be.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I love that. I love that. So moving forward, we're
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: gonna talk about love. Hey, I love the topic.
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: But they do they do?
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: They do?
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: That is a beautiful thing.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: It is, it is, and so I always this season,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: I have asked the question to all of the guests
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: that are before you, what would be your definition of love?
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: My definition of love is a commitment mhm. Loyalty hm hmm.
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: That's a good question. The commitment and loyalty friendship, that's
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: what I should have started with friendship, because you can't.
• 17:07
  Speaker 5: I just feel you have to have a solid friendship
• 17:10
  Speaker 5: to move into loving somebody for a long period of time.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: It ain't gonna last, otherwise it won't. H I love
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: that for me. Love is peace.
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely, they because I don't want nobody that's gonna
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: come through the dough disrupting my day and just all
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: in a rut. And like nah, I grew up in
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: a household like that, so I definitely don't want it
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: in my life.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Exactly. I did too, Like I mean, we had a
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: loving household, but it was a lot of it was
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: a lot of chaos in there, you know. And I
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: love my parents and they're still together with forty plus years.
• 17:46
  Speaker 5: Shout out to them. It was a lot of work.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: You could tell that there was some level of friendship
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: because I don't think that they would have been able
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: to make it otherwise, right, Yeah, yeah, you're right. Do
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: you think that Shivery is dead?
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: No, No, I don't. Sometimes you have to teach people
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: what you want. So me and my husband y'all heard
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: me say we divorced in twenty sixteen. Well we remarried
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: in twenty twenty one. And that's because of the friendship
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: and the consistency that he showed. Even despite the fact
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: that we were divorced. He would still show up where
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: he didn't have to show up. Even when I was
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: dating of the individuals, he would show up, so the
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: other individuals ain't even had opportunity to really show and
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: tell because he was showing up point period. But in
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: my dating phase, well, and I'm from New Orleans, them
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: dudes wasn't opening no doors down there. They don't open
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: those doors in Louisiana. Like you get you hopping, call
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: you go. I mean, you get on your side. I
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: get on my side and we go. But dating an
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: older guy here, he was like, don't touch that door.
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: And it was a process to learn and it was hard,
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: but it was like, I don't touch doors, I don't
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: open doors, I don't pump gas, I don't do none
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: of that stuff. That's what he's for. So I say,
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: chivalry is not dead. It all depends on the person.
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: So now since I experienced that, I tell I had
• 19:29
  Speaker 5: to teach my husband like I need you to open
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: this door, because that's what you're supposed to do.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: And so I'm glad that we're talking about this because
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: some women just feel like I don't need no man
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: to open the door for me. I got it. What
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: would you say to the person who feels that way?
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think that you need to be
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: so hard as a person to not let someone who
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: has been taught to be a gentleman by the people
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: in his life are just looking and seeing and observing. You. Don't,
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: don't just don't. Don't just be so quick to just
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: shut that off. Nobody wants anything from you.
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: I just want to be and Brazer experience in your
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: soft girl error. He may have been raised differently from you.
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: I know that's not something that you accustomed to. But
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: just embrace it and watch how you go to enjoying it,
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: because at one point, see now, I don't even go
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: I don't touch the door. I just sit in the
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: car and wait for him to come around.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: Stand there today until you open.
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, So embrace to get in your soft girl error.
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: We so hard and we want to be so independent
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: that that ship is tiresome.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: That shit is stupid.
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: We we we've been trained that we don't need a man.
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: We don't need this. We could do everything ourselves, which
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: we can. There is nothing that we cannot do. But
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: if you have somebody that's going to allow you to
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: be in your soft girl era and you don't have
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: to be hard and you don't have to do it
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: all the time, let them do it.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Yep, let them do it.
• 21:05
  Speaker 5: That's my love language, asks of kindness. That's it.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: You're going ahead. That's my next question. I was gonna
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: ask you, though, like, well, we don't. We talked about
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: the love languages and you said that yours is acts
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: of kindness. Do you believe that you go in and
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: out of different love languages? I did.
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: I've grown because when I was younger, it was physical touch.
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: It was physical touch, and I just wanted to cuddle.
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: And I want now it's like get away from me.
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: I don't like all of that, but I like my
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: ex of kindness. I like for him to come through
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: the door and he just have some roses or some
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: type of flowers for me. I like when he gets
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: up and say what you want for breakfast? You ain't
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: gotta cook this morning, or what we eating for dinner.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna cook it. I like all of that. When
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: I got in the house, when I brought my house,
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: we weren't together at the time, so I was painting
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: and things like that. He would come and he would
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: help paint the house and all of this stuff. So
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: those are the things show up for me because I
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: show up for people. So I want it in return.
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: I want people to and I don't want to have
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: to ask yeah. I just want you to do it
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: and be consistent in doing it.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: Oh. I feel like if I got to ask.
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: I don't want it exactly.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: It don't mean that much to you.
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: If I got to ask, yeah, don't I don't want
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: you to do it. If I got to ask you
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: to do.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: It, just do it. Well. What would you say to
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: someone who is listening that is trying to love somebody
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: with their love language versus loving them loving that person
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: with that person's love language.
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: Learn, sit down and have the conversation. Take the test together.
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: Just go to the website and say you just send
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: them the test and say, hell, I want you to
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: take this because that's what me and my husband did.
• 22:44
  Speaker 5: I want you to take this test so I can
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: know how to properly love you right, and I just
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: show you that I appreciate you and give you the
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: things that's going to make you feel good. My husband
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: likes to travel. I wasn't a travel person, but that's
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: something he liked to do.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: He's Ryan here and question for you, what do you
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  Speaker 5: So when he say I want to go somewhere, I
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: gotta go and get on a computer and start looking
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: up trips and booking cruises because we always on a cruise.
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: As everybody know, I love a cruise.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Oh so yeah, yeah, And it takes work. It takes
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: a decision to do the work. Yeah, Because if.
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: You're choice every day to love somebody, I have to
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: choose you every single day. When you love somebody, you
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: are choosing to love that person. You may not like them,
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: because there are days that I I don't like him,
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: but I'm making a conscious decision to love him every
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: single day of my life.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, so this is about to be like maybe a
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: hard lesson for somebody, it may be for me. When
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: you are loving somebody the way that you see that
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: they want to be loved or like to be loved,
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: yet you're not being met with the same reciprocity, how
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: do you handle that when it comes to love.
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: I walked away, That's why we were divorced, and I
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: kept trying despite the separation. I kept trying to get
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: to give him what he needed and to show him
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: what I needed, and it wasn't being received, so I
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: forwarded him. Now listen, now, I'm not telling nobody to
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: do what I did. Let's be real. And we were
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: younger then too, so let me we were younger then.
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: But if somebody is not showing you their pate you
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: and they love you, and they doing their pointing, you're
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: they're not giving you what you need and your steady
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: giving them what they need. Sometimes you have to evaluate
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: that situation and like, is this really the person for me?
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: Maybe we need a break and we could come back together,
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: because that's what it took for us. That don't work
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: for everybody though, right, Yeah, only.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Work for us, right. And I was just about to
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: say she she is talking about personal experience when it
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: comes to love. We're not condoning the vorce and doing
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: all the things, but you as I'm.
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: A marriage person, I believe in marriage. This is my
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: well technically it will be my third marriage. But again,
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: we married, we got married. Our first marriage was in
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: tw thousand and eight. We divorced in twenty sixteen and
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: got married remarried in twenty twenty one, so on paper
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: it is my third marriage when it's only my second,
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: it's only my second husband.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Listen. I love the fact that you're that you can
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: can talk to the listeners about that because you have
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: gone through it. Yeah, so I hope that you got
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: are recepted to what she's saying. Because she has loved
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: this man enough to walk away from this man and
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: then loved him enough again to remarry this man. So
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: he had to he had to learn and say, you
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: know what, how I won't lose this woman. Let me
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: had and get myself together.
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: And we experienced a lot. We experienced a lot in
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: our separation. We experienced a lot. My husband was injured
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: on his job where he lost his left foot. He's
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: an amputeem, so we went through that in twenty fifteen.
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: In twenty seventeen, I went through my breast cancer journey.
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: In twenty nineteen, I went through a rotator cuff surgery.
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: So we've been through so many things in our separation
• 27:43
  Speaker 5: that we leaned on each other. We didn't lean on
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: nobody else. I don't care who he was dealing with.
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: And at the time of his accident, he was in
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: a relationship with somebody. He was baby. When I tell y'all,
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: it was a whole diriver mad black woman seeing at
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: that hot spit tole do, I promise, y'all, but you
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: see where he at.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: So the heart won't what the heart wants you hear me?
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: All this other shit, right that right that could have
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: been in all the other ship.
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes, if we could dive deeper, it's ain't just
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: look guess what I y'all know. I share. I'm I'm open,
• 28:26
  Speaker 5: honest and transparent. I don't have a problem with it, because.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: How do you feel about all the other ship that
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: goes on with love and life. How do you keep
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: from staying stuck in the negative part of all the
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: other ship and embrace the positivity so that something good
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: can come out of us.
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: You gotta grow, You gotta grow, you gotta pre because
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: if you ain't got going in it, it ain't gonna
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: work in no way. And that that was one of
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: our disconnects too, because he didn't like a church y'all
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: was going to. So I'm trying to pivot to find
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: a church that he like in this than the other.
• 29:00
  Speaker 5: At the end of the day, when judgment they come,
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: he ain't gonna be standing next to me. So you
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: figure out what you're gonna do, and I'm gonna do
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: what I'm gonna do, and we gonna make it work together.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: You have to because you will exhaust yourself. Yeah, I'm
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: going to church. Where you going. Well, I see when
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: we get back, wein't got to be in the same
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: house as the Lord. But at least you getting get
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: fed something, have some type of something that you that
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: you're leaning on. And the fact that you talk about God,
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: especially when dealing with all of the other ship. Do
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: you remember a time when you were so doll bogged
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: down into all that other ship that you ain't have
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: no other choice but to call on God.
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: Oh my cancer journey, that that was an experience in itself.
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: When I think about it, the night that I attempted suicide.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: This is gonna make trigger some people, but this is
• 29:56
  Speaker 5: my reality. I was tired. I was tired. I can't
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: remember what. I think it was like November. We started
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: chemo in August, so I think it was like late
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: October early November. And my kids were gone and I
• 30:12
  Speaker 5: had don't gain all this weight, my hair was gone.
• 30:16
  Speaker 5: I was tired. I was sick alligis sinus. I was
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: on steroids, which increased my sugar because I'm diabetic, so
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: steroids increases your sugar, so they had to put me
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: on insulin. It was just and I'm like, lord, I'm
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: tired of this. And I pulled out my gun and
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: I was like, I'm about to, I'm about to, I'm
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: about to get just do it. I'm done. I'm just
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: done with life period. This is tired. I'm over it.
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: And this voice said, what about your babies? What about
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: your babies, especially the one that don't have a daddy,
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: who is she going to turn to who is going
• 30:56
  Speaker 5: to take care of her? You can't leave your baby.
• 31:00
  Speaker 5: You can't leave your babies, especially the one that don't
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: have that won't have anybody. Get up, get it together.
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: And that's what I did. I got up, I prayed,
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: put my gun up, and was in church the next morning.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: And I'm so glad that you listen me too, because
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: I listened because I was there too, and I was
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: taking her with me because I didn't want to leave
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: her to be a burden to anybody else. I mean,
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: her dad was not together at the time, and I
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: was a college student, overwhelmed with being a full time
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: college student, working full time, and being trying to be
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: a full time mom. And I thank God for my mom,
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: my dad, and my siblings who were younger than than
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: I that helped help, you know, take care of him
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: stuff when I was in college. But this one particular day,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: she came to college with me, and I was standing
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: on the side of this curve and holding her, and
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: it's cars going through the campus at the time, and
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: I'm like, just walk out there, walk out in front
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: of them. I would have missed somebody's day.
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And then a lot of people, because not just
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: day day, you would have messed their family, lay up.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: And that and that anybody watching.
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that played in my head too, because my kids
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: would have had to come home and find me like that. Yeah,
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: and it is that the image that I really wanted
• 32:18
  Speaker 5: them to be stuck with for the rest of their life.
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: I found my mama dad. I remember the first time
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: my mama was in the first time my stepdad fought
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: my mama, and I was eight years old, and that
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: image still plays in my head to this day. Me
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: and my sister came home from school. They were in
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: the house allgain. My aunt stayed next door, so we
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: went next door to get him some time to cool
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: off or whatever. We get ready to walk back across
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: the yard. We met with my mama coming out the door,
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: blood just dripping, and my mama collapsed in front of us.
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: That image stays with me. And I'm forty six, forty
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: sixth Lord, I was about to say forty seven. I
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: am forty, Yes, February around the corner. I don't talk
• 32:59
  Speaker 5: about that, so that that image stuck with me to
• 33:05
  Speaker 5: this day. I still see that image. Yeah, So I
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: wouldn't want my I didn't want my kids to come
• 33:11
  Speaker 5: home and see them.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: I'm just glad that we both listened to that voice
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: that was inside of us, because look at us now.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: We can actually talk about it without breaking down, without
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: feeling ashamed, because some people don't like to share their
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: stories when they know that it can help somebody else. Definitely,
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: I don't have a problem talking about what I'd have
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: been through because I'm not there anymore. I am healed
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: from that. Thank God that I'm here from that. But
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: so many people are ashamed because they were probably made
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: to feel ashamed or they were once vulnerable with somebody
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: and then.
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: It was not read with what told everybody would happen.
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: My safe space is my therapist. Shout out to Nikka Jones.
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: That is about safe space. I tell her everything. She's
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: all in my business and and I know that when
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: I go to her that it ain't going no where.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: It ain't going.
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: And if you are not in therapy and you are
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: going through the things, please find you a therapist.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: Plea. Okay, y'all, it is okay as black people, and
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say used to be because right now therapy
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: is high, like the people are really trying to go
• 34:26
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• 34:30
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• 34:33
  Speaker 2: staying with these generation curses and taking what we had
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: to go through and put the flyingess to our kids
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: and all that. No, we're not doing that anymore.
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  Speaker 6: them this year too. Bartisian is the premiere craft cocktail
• 35:22
  Speaker 6: maker that automatically makes more than sixty seasonal and classic
• 35:25
  Speaker 6: cocktails each and under thirty seconds at the push of
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  Speaker 6: a button and right now, Bartisian is having a huge
• 35:32
  Speaker 6: sight wide sale. You can get one hundred dollars off
• 35:34
  Speaker 6: any cocktail maker or cocktail maker bundle when you spend
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• 35:41
  Speaker 6: in your life has been good this year or the
• 35:44
  Speaker 6: right kind of bad, get them Bartisian at the push
• 35:47
  Speaker 6: of a button, make Bark quality Cosmopolitans, Martini's, Manhattan's, and more,
• 35:53
  Speaker 6: all in just thirty seconds, all for a hundred off.
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• 36:12
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't make my kids do anything that
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: they don't feel comfortable doing, you.
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: Know, and both of them. I have a therapist, and
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: we all have our own therapists. We don't nobody sees
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: the same therapists. My oldest have her therapists, my youngest
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: has her own therapists. Nobody sees the same therapists.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: And that's and that matters. Like when you're dealing with
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: all that other shit because I know that they probably
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: have some trauma and stuff too that they may and
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: I know you and your kids talk about everything, but
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: they may just need to talk to somebody first to
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: fill it out and see before they can talk to you.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: And that's okay, guys, that's okay to have some and
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: shop a hand man, you first splash shoes.
• 36:51
  Speaker 5: You see consultations. Nobody consultations and it's free, you're not
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: paying for it. Just get on a consultation and see
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: if that person is the right fit for you, because
• 37:01
  Speaker 5: everybody's not going to be that fit. But I say this,
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: they say only wealthy people have therapists. I ain't wealth
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: there and I ain't rich, but I got a therapist,
• 37:12
  Speaker 5: and that what gives you a wealth put you in
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: a different class of wealth. I'm rich because I got
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: a therapist because I know helping me deal with the
• 37:19
  Speaker 5: issues that I have. Look at how many rich people,
• 37:22
  Speaker 5: famous people took their lives because they didn't.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: So they might have had a therapist and they still
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: didn't feel comfortable enough to share right.
• 37:33
  Speaker 5: Well, one day them demons just got too much for
• 37:35
  Speaker 5: them and they didn't they didn't listen to that that
• 37:37
  Speaker 5: voice or reason.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And then I want to talk about the
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: importance of paying attentions to your circle and your people,
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: especially when you know you've been dealing with your shit.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: You know everybody else got their own shit to deal with,
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: but it is still important. Like I always reach out,
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: and I always say, well, you know what, I ain't
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: talk to risk, let me reach out, I ain't talk
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: to be let me reach out. I'll send y'all a
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: funny message or I'll send like a voice noted something.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: And I do that with all the people that who
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: are important to me in my life, and I know
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: that y'all do the same for me. I had to
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: go missing for a minute. I had to go missing
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: to see who would would think about me or who
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: was notice me not being there. And it took about
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: a week. But everybody is almost like everybody was like,
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: wait a minute, ain't talk and everybody just started flooding me.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: And I was so overwhelmed with I was just grateful,
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: and I was thinking God, because some people don't have that.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Some people just going through life and don't have anybody
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: to lean on, anybody to show themselves friendly to them,
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: especially dealing with life and with life that comes shit. Yeah,
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: so let's talk about that. Let's talk about like showing
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: like paying attention to your your circle, and showing up
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: for the people that mean the most of you.
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: I ain't gonna lie. I used to do that, but
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: if it's not reciprocated, I'm not doing I don't do that.
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: I follow up with those who follow up with me.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: I did it. I get it now. I have been
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: more conscious lately. If people are dropped in my spirit,
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: I just pray for that.
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: That don't mean I got to reach out to you
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: unless God tells me call this person, send a message
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: or whatever. I just pray for him because we don't
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: talk for a reason, for a reason, And I'm not
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: mad at you for that, because sometimes.
• 39:32
  Speaker 5: You just can't. You could be in a spot God
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: could have you in a certain area, a certain place
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: in your life where if you do talk to them,
• 39:41
  Speaker 5: it's going to trigger something and bring up something. Oh
• 39:44
  Speaker 5: so many people want to live in a past like
• 39:46
  Speaker 5: I'm not that person. I ain't the same person I
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: was yesterday. I woke up with a total different mindset
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: this morning than I had last night before I went
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: to bed, So I'm not that same person. So sometimes
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: it's just better have to reach out to some people,
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: pray for them and keep it moving.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, when you have been through all the other shit,
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: the small stuff, some of the big stuff too, is it?
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: You tell me if you have this too, I don't
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: really care that much. I'm not putting forth energy to it.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: If it's not something that I can change or something
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: that ain't gonna affect me or matter in ten minutes,
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: I'm not giving energy to it. You are you like that?
• 40:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's it. If it ain't ten minutes two minutes.
• 40:32
  Speaker 5: If I can't change it in two minutes, it's out,
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: I'm washing it. Lord, you got it, you got it.
• 40:39
  Speaker 5: I'm done. I don't want it. I'm giving it to you.
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: And that's how you got to realize that we have
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: to do. If it's something you cannot do within two
• 40:47
  Speaker 5: or five minutes yourself, let it go, give it to gold,
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: take out of it.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: I've been told that I was hard to act like
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: a dude because I don't care. It's not that I
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: don't care, it's just that some stuff just don't matter
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: to me. Yeah, Like, I'm not gonna keep talking to
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: you about the same stuff. I'm not gonna keep trying
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: to make you hear me or see me. I'm not
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: gonna try to make what I'm passionate about be what
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: you're passionate about. You just support me or you don't.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: You do want to be in my life or you don't.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: You do want me in your life or you don't.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: And if you show yourself a certain way, I'm gonna
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: start believing that's who you are.
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: But you want to tell you what that is. That's
• 41:29
  Speaker 5: because Kek know her work. See Keky had sat down
• 41:34
  Speaker 5: and identify what she's willing to accept and what she's
• 41:37
  Speaker 5: not willing to accept. And I'm okay with you not
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: being in my life because I know my work and
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna stand on that. I have my boundaries in
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: place for your reason, and I'm gonna stand on that period.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: With anybody that's it. Yeah, it's a beautiful thing when
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: you go through that hell and journey. Oh yeah, like
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: d down, get into that shit and realize that it's
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: stak real bad to the point where you're about to pass.
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: Well, we don't want to, we don't want to identify it.
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: I just made a poster the other day about when
• 42:10
  Speaker 5: we really sit down and we think about where a
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: lot of our trauma come from as adults and stem
• 42:15
  Speaker 5: from our childhood. So when you start healing that childhood trauma,
• 42:21
  Speaker 5: you start recognizing that, identifying your triggers, working through it.
• 42:26
  Speaker 5: And I know we're supposed to be talking but personal development,
• 42:28
  Speaker 5: but it's what it is, y'all. Get what it is
• 42:31
  Speaker 5: like when you start identifying those things that make you
• 42:34
  Speaker 5: start wanting to do things differently and better and improve yourselves.
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: It should, yeah, because some people want to stay stuck
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: and play victim all the time. But where they think
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: the mentality gonna get you, because it's still getting you
• 42:48
  Speaker 5: in the same position that you be in day in
• 42:50
  Speaker 5: and day out. When you start having a victor mentality,
• 42:53
  Speaker 5: they ain't start changing when you start going on your
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: healing journey and identifying, oh, these are the things that
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: took place in my life that I didn't like as
• 43:01
  Speaker 5: a child. So I'm going to change these things. I'm
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: going to heal from these things. I'm going to keep
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: moving forward and not worry about what was, because what's
• 43:10
  Speaker 5: the coming so much greater, it's so much better, So
• 43:14
  Speaker 5: let it.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: Go, Let it go, let it go. And for me,
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: I believe that at some point you have to grow up. Yep,
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: you have to grow up. And you have to realize
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: that the people who raised us, they only could do
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: what they could do. Yep.
• 43:30
  Speaker 5: They did the best they can. And we don't know
• 43:32
  Speaker 5: what circumstances, the situation they went through when they was
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: growing up, and a lot of them and from our
• 43:37
  Speaker 5: from our parents' age, they don't even talk about what
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: happened when they were kids. We got to speculate on
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: what happened, but we know what But we knew what
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: happened with us when we grew up, and we took
• 43:47
  Speaker 5: we taking the opportunity to change the narrative because we
• 43:52
  Speaker 5: don't want our kids to go through what we went.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: Through exactly exactly. Listen, I love it, and then all
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: that other shit gonna come.
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, life don't like regardless, that's what it's
• 44:03
  Speaker 5: what it's gonna do. But how you show up when
• 44:05
  Speaker 5: they go to life and what you do? Are you
• 44:08
  Speaker 5: gonna show up and get in a ring and boxing?
• 44:12
  Speaker 5: Are you gonna Are you gonna get in a corner
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: and wattle right up? You might come out beat up
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: like Martin was on that episode with Timmy Hearns you
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: ain't come out with some bruises and you know, but
• 44:30
  Speaker 5: you survived to fight another day like Topsy. Yes, when
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: sometimes you lose, but you survived to fight another day.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: Yes. Absolutely, learn learn to take an ass whipping. You know,
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: nowadays people don't want to take ass whipping the quick,
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: the poor girls now as humble you.
• 44:48
  Speaker 5: Sometimes sometimes you need to. You need an ass whipping
• 44:53
  Speaker 5: because you need to be humbled.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: Facts, facts, and sometimes all that other ship be the
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: greatest ass whipping you would ever have in your life.
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because it it redirects you. You start seeing things differently.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: Mm hm. Yes, So listen, this has been a great conversation.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: I'm always look, we can go on and on and on,
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: but we always have some of the best conversations. And
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: I do thank you for being here. Next, what's next
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: for coach risk.
• 45:23
  Speaker 5: A bountiful solution. It is next. It is your solution.
• 45:27
  Speaker 5: It is the solution to all your personal development needs.
• 45:32
  Speaker 5: Were starting one more one on one coaching and the
• 45:35
  Speaker 5: new year Reignite her. It is starting in January, which
• 45:40
  Speaker 5: is the group coaching for female entrepreneurs. We had such
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: an amazing time last year where earlier this year the
• 45:49
  Speaker 5: ladies loved it. So many amazing outcomes came from it.
• 45:53
  Speaker 5: Even one of the ladies wind up walking away from
• 45:55
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  Speaker 5: full time entreprene nordship herself. Everybody else been having major breakthroughs,
• 46:04
  Speaker 5: things that they will procrastinating and they stopped procrastinating. They've
• 46:07
  Speaker 5: been showing up for themselves. And as a coach, that's
• 46:10
  Speaker 5: the greatest thing for me. The transformation is the most
• 46:13
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• 46:15
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• 46:20
  Speaker 5: and then where they were suffering and doing suffering with
• 46:24
  Speaker 5: stagnation and just not putting forth the effort that they needed.
• 46:27
  Speaker 5: They needed somebody to actually put it out there for them,
• 46:31
  Speaker 5: to actually show them because sometimes we needed to be
• 46:33
  Speaker 5: in our face. Yeah, because I don't see it. I
• 46:37
  Speaker 5: don't see it myself because it's something that you're doing
• 46:39
  Speaker 5: on a daily basis. But when I pointed out and
• 46:42
  Speaker 5: you was like, oh, that's really neat, and that's what
• 46:44
  Speaker 5: it took for a lot of them to see.
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: Oh nice. I love it. So if the people want
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: to work with you, tell them how they can.
• 46:53
  Speaker 5: You could find me on Instagram at your selfish coach.
• 46:57
  Speaker 5: You could hit up my website www dot reignite her
• 47:00
  Speaker 5: dot com. You can find me on Facebook at a
• 47:04
  Speaker 5: bountiful solution. You can find me on LinkedIn at a
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: risk of Smith Scott. But all you could text me
• 47:12
  Speaker 5: text me forty six nine nine eight seven three three
• 47:14
  Speaker 5: five eights say I saw you on Kiki podcast. How
• 47:17
  Speaker 5: can I work with you? That's it? You might get
• 47:20
  Speaker 5: a discount if you shout out KEIKEI just say.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: All the information would be in the show notes. All
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: the information would be in the show notes, so you
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: don't have an excuse. Listen any final thoughts about life,
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: love and all that other shit that you would like
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: to share with the listeners.
• 47:37
  Speaker 5: Life gone life, show up for it, Show up for
• 47:42
  Speaker 5: it with your gloves on, ready to box.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: So all I got absolutely and look y'all go get
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: the October edition. Yes, coch a Risker is a featured
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  Speaker 2: She is sharing her story of survival in nineteen magazines,
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: So y'all go get it over night. Being dash magazine
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: dot com, the information would be in the show notes
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: as well. Thank you guys again for tuning in. I'm
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: back every Thursday with a new episode. Y'all make me
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: smile for real, because y'all could be listening to any
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: other podcast, but y'all chose to listen to Kicking In
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: with Kiki. So you are appreciated, you are loved, and
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: I am grateful for you. So until next time, I'll
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: see you later.
• 48:23
  Speaker 5: Purple Hub checking it Withiki.
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  Speaker 6: life who love the coolest toys, well there's something for
• 49:15
  Speaker 6: them this year too. Bartisian is the premiere craft cocktail
• 49:18
  Speaker 6: maker that automatically makes more than sixty seasonal and classic
• 49:21
  Speaker 6: cocktails each and under thirty seconds at the push of
• 49:24
  Speaker 6: a button, and right now, Bartisian is having a huge
• 49:28
  Speaker 6: sight wide sale. You can get one hundred dollars off
• 49:30
  Speaker 6: any cocktail maker or cocktail maker bundle when you spend
• 49:33
  Speaker 6: four hundred dollars or more so, if the cocktail lover
• 49:37
  Speaker 6: in your life has been good this year or the
• 49:40
  Speaker 6: right kind of bad, get them Bartisian at the push
• 49:44
  Speaker 6: of a button, make Bark quality Cosmopolitans, Martini's, Manhattan's, and more,
• 49:49
  Speaker 6: all in just thirty seconds, all for a hundred off.
• 49:53
  Speaker 6: Amazing toys aren't just for kids. Get a hundred off
• 49:57
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