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Building Strong Workplace Relationships and Navigating Conflict with Chrystal Ellis Sweazey · Speak In Flow

• 0:03
  Melinda Lee: Welcome. Dear listeners, to the speak in flow podcast. Where we dive into unique experiences to help you and your team achieve unshakable confidence, maximum potential and flow.
• 0:17
  Melinda Lee: I am so pleased to have a wonderful leader today. She's an experienced Hr. Leader, crystal Ellis Swayze, Hr. Director with the American Conservatory, Theater, Hi Crystal.
• 0:32
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Hi, Melinda, thank you for having me.
• 0:35
  Melinda Lee: I am so excited for our conversation today. This is going to be amazing and juicy. Before we dive in. Can you share with us what is happening in the American Conservatory Theatre? What are the passionate projects that are happening.
• 0:49
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Oh, my God! We have so many amazing things. So for our main stage, we've got private lives on. That's a Noel cowl production, and we're just super excited. It has some tango in there, some really great music. We've got a Christmas carol in the works.
• 1:06
  Melinda Lee: Oh, yeah.
• 1:07
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: One of our staple productions, and and then we also have our young conservatory theater doing their work. We just. They just finished up with Carrie and we have
• 1:20
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: the Studio Act, which is like a a school for adults and acting, and they're they're just thriving and doing a lot of great work. And then our education. So our education and communities programs. We actually go into schools and provide courses classes on on the art on on theater. And we're really seeing students like finding their voice and finding a passion for for theater.
• 1:45
  Melinda Lee: I love that. And what makes you passionate as as Hr. Director being over there.
• 1:52
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: So I love. I mean working at a theater. It's a really. It's a big space, right? There's a lot of people coming in and coming out. And I love working with people. And so I get the opportunity to work with amazing artists with amazing administrative team educators. And it's just. It's just a great community.
• 2:10
  Melinda Lee: Yes. So this dovetails into the conversation. People relationships and and how beautiful and also complicated they can be. And so in what you do at where you've been in terms of Hr. Director, hr, leader, you've seen a lot. And so what do you see? Are some of the more challenges the difficult things that are happening at the workplace
• 2:37
  Melinda Lee: with regard to leadership and people.
• 2:41
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Sure. So I think that you know, time old issues. You know, just around communication. There's we're coming out of the you know we're post pandemic. We have a hybrid model, and so people are still still adjusting to what it means to not everybody being in the office, some people being remote. Some people coming in sporadically. And so the communication, even though we have all these different forms of communication we've got, you know, text, slack email
• 3:11
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: phone, zoom, there's still that there's still just a a challenge with with making sure that we're communicating in a healthy, positive way and effectively in the workplace, for sure.
• 3:24
  Melinda Lee: And so dive into what are the impacts of having the ineffective communication, especially with hybrid
• 3:33
  Melinda Lee: what are the impacts potential negative impacts that it can have on the organization if they're not getting.
• 3:40
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Yeah. Yeah. So if people people aren't communicating well, you know, we, we find that there's a disconnect with within the teams. And also like throughout the large throughout the organization. So the culture itself is really impacted in a negative way, in the sense of like folks feel unheard. They feel like they have an idea that it wasn't listened to, or that they were trying to push something through a project through, and it's been delayed. And so there's some resentment building up. So there's
• 4:11
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: and also like.
• 4:12
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: if a person is is
• 4:15
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: sharing their thoughts or sharing their views, and it feels like.
• 4:19
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Hey.
• 4:20
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: there's no traction, there's no momentum. And you know the leader feels like, Hey, I actually heard you and I, and I think there's something there. But not at this time. These these kinds of dynamics start to breed, I I think, misunderstanding, and also resentment and people start to feel disgruntled or or siloed where they feel like they can't be their full selves at work. So.
• 4:43
  Melinda Lee: I.
• 4:43
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: When we have miscommunication or a lack of communication.
• 4:48
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: The environment, the the relationships that we build are are become fragmented and challenged, stressed.
• 4:55
  Melinda Lee: Right? Right? And then so the project slow down, or whatever you're doing, whatever yeah outcomes that you're trying to achieve. Do you see that people are slowing down with it? Or do you think they just do it
• 5:07
  Melinda Lee: and get it over with like, what do you think.
• 5:10
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Yeah. So I think
• 5:12
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: if you have.
• 5:15
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: So if if you have internal infrastructure, you have a process, you have a workflow for something, and so everybody kind of knows what their part or part is in that role in that workflow. But if during that, during that workflow, you find, like you find an issue or something happens.
• 5:32
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: And you try to communicate that to to someone. And there's like, maybe there's no one there who can actually answer it in real time. Then you're gonna see delays in the productivity. Or if you're talking to someone and they are don't really know what to do right because they haven't been trained or or they're they're not there often enough to see the nuance of this problem. Then you're gonna also have delays. So it. I think it does. It can slow down productivity.
• 5:59
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: and I mentioned like the piece around, resentment is like people get frustrated when they feel like, hey? I'm talking, and you're not hearing me, or I'm talking, and you're not listening. You hear me? I hear you telling me that you hear me. But you're actually not getting the point. Because if you understood the point, you would change your behavior. So I think definitely, we see a a slow and a reduction of productivity sometimes, but also resentment. People feel.
• 6:26
  Melinda Lee: That was.
• 6:27
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Frustrated.
• 6:28
  Melinda Lee: Yeah. And then people may or end up leaving. Maybe they stay. But then they're just really resentful. And they talk to other people about it.
• 6:37
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: I think that definitely happens. I feel like,
• 6:40
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: What I've seen in my career is really like, if you have a leadership, and I think we do at act currently.
• 6:48
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: That leans into the to the issue. So something, if there is a lapse in communication, or when there is a lapse in communication. It's like, Hey, what happened.
• 6:58
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Where? Where did we? What could have been done better was, how was the tone?
• 7:04
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Should this been delivered better? Should there have been more people involved in the process. So I think, you know, you're always
• 7:11
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: because we're dealing with people human beings. You're always going to have breaks and misunderstanding and communication. It's all about how leadership and management and your employees feel empowered to
• 7:24
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: to problem, solve or to address those concerns. So it's like, it's not a terrible thing that if you have like. Oh, we noticed there's communication problems in the workforce. Yeah, they're they're there, and they're always going to be there because.
• 7:34
  Melinda Lee: Right, right.
• 7:35
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Are moving a million miles per minute at some point.
• 7:39
  Melinda Lee: Huh!
• 7:41
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: or some people. Just
• 7:43
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: you know, there's different personality types. So
• 7:46
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: people don't drive. And and there's that. But I think the key really the key piece is like, if you
• 7:53
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: if you
• 7:55
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: open the space up by training your leaders and training, you know, providing training to your leaders and also your managers and your employees to say like, Hey, there is a misunderstanding there, and I understand that you're frustrated. But let's see, what can we do to problem, solve.
• 8:09
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: What can we do? What? What do you need right now, in order to be able to do your job effectively? What do you need right now to feel like you.
• 8:19
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: you! You have the tools and the resources to be successful on the job right now. So I think.
• 8:26
  Melinda Lee: I love.
• 8:26
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: It's a key piece.
• 8:30
  Melinda Lee: getting curious and asking the questions. And before we get into all of the what can we do i'm just curious from your where you seem, where you've been? Hr. For a long time, and the workforce like are, are the communication getting worse? Do you know, or is it about the same. Given all the new challenges that we have with technology.
• 8:52
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Yeah, so.
• 8:52
  Melinda Lee: Yeah, is it the same? Or I'm not sure. I mean, it's always going to be there like you said communication challenges. But I wonder if it's like I mean, from your perspective, getting worse or the same.
• 9:02
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: So we're seeing across industries. Actually, there's a there's a real call for civility in the workplace.
• 9:08
  Melinda Lee: Huh!
• 9:09
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: So
• 9:10
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: there's there's still studies being held, you know, research is being done about this this specific topic. But across industries and within the Hr. Like human resources
• 9:22
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: articles that I've read. I've seen an influx of articles on like how to be civil in the workplace, how to cultivate civility in the workplace. We're living in a very divisive time, in in a lot of ways. We had a president
• 9:38
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: who came in and and.
• 9:43
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: you know, had strong views. I mean they all do all Presidents do, and I think
• 9:47
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: in some ways the
• 9:50
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: the backlash of of having
• 9:53
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: a President who validated.
• 9:56
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: you know, being indignant of President who validated and gave people permission to be sexist or racist, right? So I think that still is permeating through the culture and in in our society.
• 10:11
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: so yeah, we have we.
• 10:13
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: I have seen more incivility in the workplace than previously, and I think it's not just
• 10:20
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: because of the workplace. But I think there's a lot of socioeconomic, political, and even religious issues that
• 10:28
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: people bring with them into the workplace that cause.
• 10:32
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: division, or or challenges with communication.
• 10:36
  Melinda Lee: Yeah, is it because they're so fixated on their perspective?
• 10:42
  Melinda Lee: And they're.
• 10:44
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: I mean, we've seen some of that we've seen, you know, we've seen like
• 10:48
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: the kind of fixed mindset whereby, like I in in this instance it's like I am right and you are wrong, and if you don't agree with me, then you are bad, or someone I don't want to work with, or someone I don't want to talk to. Or how dare you feel that way? Definitely seen that
• 11:06
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: on both sides, from Liberal to conservative.
• 11:10
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: And
• 11:13
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: it's
• 11:14
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: it's it's 1 of those things where, like, we're always going to have diversity of thought in the workplace. Yeah, we're always going to have. At least we strive to have that right we want to have in order to have innovation and creativity. You need differing perspectives differing expertise. And so the question is not like.
• 11:32
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: is it? You know, for me it's like, is it a bad thing that that people are more challenged coming into the workplace? I don't know. I I mean, that's a judgment call, but the fact is is that it is here. We've got folks who are pro Palestinian, and we have others who are not
• 11:49
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: We have folks who believe in developing an anti racist organization, and we have folks who think there's no place for that in the workplace. So we have these really strong dichotomies, the and that, and and every person who has, wherever they land, is
• 12:04
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: going to be in a workplace. And so how how then, do we work on civility in the workplace? How do we do that? Because because it has to exist in order for us to be productive and to and to meet our goals.
• 12:16
  Melinda Lee: I love that. So how do we do that crystal.
• 12:20
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Yeah, the jury. The jury is still out. We're still trying, you know. And I think we're seeing some success. I think a lot of organizations and companies are trying and and seeing some success. But but some of the things that we've we've done is really we're, I mean, really thankful for having a leadership team and our director and artistic artistic director are just
• 12:41
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: so available to
• 12:44
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: support the processes as needed. And so some of the things that we've done is is had trainings on communication.
• 12:53
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: we've had guest speakers come in and talk to us a bit about forgiveness in the workplace about bridging relationships in the workplace. We've had circles community like community circles where or call them listening circles where.
• 13:08
  Melinda Lee: You can.
• 13:08
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Come in. It's a facilit. There was a facilitator who had trauma informed a trauma informed background and also a restorative justice background and mediation a background in mediation. So this person came in, did an amazing job working with providing a space for for members of our team who wanted to go and share where they're at, you know. It's like, Hey, we're. There's a war going on. There's many now, but like there's this war going on, and it's really weighing on me to hear about the children who are dying.
• 13:38
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: and it's hard for me to come to the workplace thinking about that. And then it's hard for me to hear someone else joke about it and saying, it's not our problem.
• 13:46
  Melinda Lee: I've.
• 13:47
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: You know, we've we were able to kind of hear the different stories on the different perspectives. And bring. Allow people to have that that opening and that space to like decompress in a very like.
• 13:58
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: you know, constructive. And I, you know, was a positive
• 14:02
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: positive environment for that, for that.
• 14:04
  Melinda Lee: How did she help with? So she opened it up. People were seeing what they were feeling and seeing what's on their mind. And then how did she?
• 14:13
  Melinda Lee: If there were 2 people that were up like with different opinions? Maybe there starts to get heated up. I don't know if you were there. But how would she have navigated that like she usually.
• 14:25
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: I went to all the I went to all I wanted to. We had 3 sessions and I went to them all
• 14:30
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: and
• 14:32
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: the way she opened it up
• 14:34
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: for a few of them was how given. Given the political climate, given the situations that are happening in the world.
• 14:44
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: And locally.
• 14:46
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: How are you? How is this landing for you?
• 14:49
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: How? How are you processing this, you know. Think people really
• 14:54
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: took that and answered it honestly. And there wasn't. We didn't have
• 14:59
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: any shaming, or
• 15:02
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: trying to coerce anyone into believing.
• 15:05
  Melinda Lee: Living.
• 15:05
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Because the meeting the space was not about proselytizing, and.
• 15:11
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: It was really about like. This is where I'm coming from, and this is this is what's on my my heart and my mind.
• 15:16
  Melinda Lee: Yeah, I love that.
• 15:20
  Melinda Lee: And then there's just such pure I don't know just a feeling of respect being people feeling heard. Yeah.
• 15:28
  Melinda Lee: And there's like you said there's no coercing. And so I think a part of that means, then when you start to.
• 15:34
  Melinda Lee: and just by pure being there and being in that group together, like listening in different perspectives. I think that's so. And it also bridges some hopefully, some understanding
• 15:46
  Melinda Lee: of each other.
• 15:47
  Melinda Lee: And yeah, active. So.
• 15:49
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: And I think it also garnered some grace for anyone who had maybe a different perspective to actually see the other person that's like, Oh, they're not.
• 15:59
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: They're human still, right?
• 16:01
  Melinda Lee: Right.
• 16:01
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: They disagree, but they're still my colleague. They're still my friend.
• 16:05
  Melinda Lee: You're still here with me. We're still.
• 16:07
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Community.
• 16:09
  Melinda Lee: I love that. And how have you? What you have you been with someone and worked with someone or talk to somebody? I think a lot of people may come to you with a lot of heated issues. They're upset. They're either angry like, what do you do with?
• 16:24
  Melinda Lee: How do you.
• 16:25
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Yeah, yeah, I mean,
• 16:28
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: we
• 16:29
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: yeah, there's a lot of there's what do you do with that? Right? When, if there's not, I don't know that there's a cookie cutter solution.
• 16:38
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: But I do think there is a common approach which is to come into the space and into the conversation, humbly
• 16:48
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: ready to listen.
• 16:51
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: And open.
• 16:52
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: open to to what they have to say. I think a lot. Sometimes people come in with an affect, you know, or
• 16:59
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: or upset, or anything you can. The defenses can go up right and
• 17:05
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: it's really important just to to remember. It's like it's not about you. And in fact, you're not here because of yourself. You're here to support this person. You're here to help this organization meet its goals. So
• 17:19
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: I think.
• 17:21
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: listening. And
• 17:23
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: really, sometimes the meeting is just like, let the person blow off some steam and let you know. Let. And then we let's have another meeting tomorrow, or let's touch base later this week. And we we start to think about problem solving and or how we want to address the issue. And so for some folks. It's like once they've let it all out, they'll go home. They'll think on it, and then they will be like I'm done. I've said all I needed to say, you have the documentation.
• 17:51
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: I'm done. I don't need anything else at this point.
• 17:54
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: and then there are some folks who are like this person is driving me nuts if we don't stop it. If they're not fired immediately, I'm gonna have to leave, and there's all of that. And so we just kind of unpack. We don't, you know. It's it's a process, but it's like, tell me a little bit more about what's irritating you.
• 18:10
  Melinda Lee: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:11
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: You know so like.
• 18:13
  Melinda Lee: I love like you do. You're like calling out the actual. What you're feeling, what you're sensing.
• 18:18
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Yeah, because a lot of times it's like, it's an interesting like.
• 18:22
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Sometimes it's about the work not getting done. But the other thing is like that personal trigger for that person. Right? And so it's like, if we can get past that personal trigger, then you can start to talk about the work that actually needs to get done. When.
• 18:36
  Melinda Lee: Triggers that you've called out that you that you hear.
• 18:40
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Oh, well, someone feels like they're not. If their colleague won't listen to them if they feel like their colleague ignores them. If they feel like their colleague is too loud, or their colleague isn't really interested in what we're doing. What they're doing like. These are these are things that really can upset people. They feel like their colleagues, always late, and they're only late with them like they. They don't meet their deliverables on time. So
• 19:04
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: those are the type of things that come up and sometimes it's like, you know what you let's go ahead and look into it, and I'll follow up with you, and
• 19:13
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: I'll just say, like I'll look into it. And I find that, in fact, what they're saying is true and just talk with the supervisor
• 19:19
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: and the Supervisor will decide if they want to have a conversation with the employee, or if they feel like they need to have me there to have that help with that conversation, but we do address the issue, and then circle back to that employee and say, Hey, this I I heard you. I just want to make sure. You know that we've addressed this issue. You have any other concerns. You can go to your supervisor. You can come over, come back to Hr. And that is, that's a done done. I mean it's done for the time
• 19:47
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: and then for the for the folks that it takes a little bit more time. It's a little bit more ongoing.
• 19:53
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Try to offer like professional development courses or a coach. I've I've offered that we offer that quite a bit, which is like, maybe you need a professional, you know coach to help you think about your management style, or to think about your
• 20:08
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: your work style how you show up in the workplace and so we use certain
• 20:13
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: different tools for different different people based on their their
• 20:17
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: their concerns. But
• 20:19
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: that general like going back to kind of what was saying initially, like that general place is like, it's important to ask questions that help the employee to reflect on their own behavior and their own biases and their own perspective. Without them feeling judged because it really the questions aren't meant to like well, you should feel this way, or why do you think that it's more like? Tell me a little bit more about that? And
• 20:43
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: What is it that
• 20:45
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: like, say, something's annoying you like. What is it that's annoying you? Is it sound? Is it like the fact that you're not going to get work? Is it that you're stressed now? It's causing.
• 20:53
  Melinda Lee: Lucky.
• 20:53
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: A lot of times people get annoyed when they feel like their stress, so their stress is their inability to meet the expectation that they have for themselves, or that their boss or their supervisor has for them in a timely manner. Right? So like, okay, so so the the real issue for you is you're you're now delayed. Your workflow is now interrupted. So what do you need to plan accordingly? Or do we need to address this with the individual. So we we talk about those types of things.
• 21:21
  Melinda Lee: No, I love that because you're coming in with compassion, asking the right questions. Cause a lot of time. If someone's coming at me, I I hear earlier, you're saying we can tend to be defensive like we can easily be like, Oh, my! You know, because the person's coming at you, they're upset. And so I if I'm the leader, I'm gonna say, like, Well, that's not true, or I can be defensive and start to
• 21:44
  Melinda Lee: defend where I'm coming from. And and but it's not about that like you mentioned. It's more about asking the right questions. Where are you getting that from?
• 21:53
  Melinda Lee: And on the alternative on the other side. Sometimes, if they're crying like I can go into naturally for me, like I'm gonna be all the nurturer. I'm gonna feel so sad for this.
• 22:07
  Melinda Lee: I did something wrong. Well, what could I have done to be better to make a better situation for you?
• 22:13
  Melinda Lee: So yeah, it's holding that ground.
• 22:17
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Yeah, I think that I think that's a good point, like a good point that you make around holding the ground because I think the posture that you come into the meeting with, or that you take as a leader, as an employee or manager is really important. And so, when when the dynamic is such that someone is in tears, or there's like anger, or just real strong, visible
• 22:41
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: emotion that we're not comfortable with right cause. Like, we're okay. With like, happy emotion.
• 22:45
  Melinda Lee: Yes.
• 22:46
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: That's okay. This is fine. But someone comes in like angry and like like shaking or something. Then you're like.
• 22:52
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: you're like, Whoa, Whoa! Like this. Emotion is a little harder to to deal with. But I think the thing about emotions is let you know it gives a little clue about where the person is. That's a good thing.
• 23:03
  Melinda Lee: That's good to yeah. I like that perspective. It's good thing. So you know where the person's at when they're showing their emotion.
• 23:10
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Yeah. And and then you can.
• 23:13
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: When you're in that conversation, I think there's time for tears, like there is a time like this person is like breaking down, or they need to shed these tears and not always when someone's crying means they're breaking down. It might just be stress, or whatever.
• 23:28
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: There's a time for that, and then there's a time to move forward in the meeting, and and you have to play it by ear. It's a it's, it's it's it's a delicate thing. Sometimes it's like, Okay, you're not in the spate. I can. I can see by the tears and
• 23:43
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: the front like I can see by the tears that you're not in place. We're not in a place to have this conversation, so why don't we take a minute. Do you need to take the day? Do you need a couple of hours? You need to go get lunch and some water. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
• 23:57
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: And then we'll we'll come back to this a little later.
• 23:59
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: That's that conversation. If I notice that someone is like every time we talk, and they just they they break into tears.
• 24:07
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: There is a point in time where it's like we, we're all name it and say like, hey? We need to be able to have a conversation.
• 24:15
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Where the tears aren't streaming every time there's feedback. So if there's something about the feedback, if there's something in the tone, if there's something that you need. Please let me know. But at this you know at some point we need to just be able to do the work without the tears
• 24:30
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: and
• 24:32
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: you know, I've seen people kind of straighten up and be like, Okay, we're ready to move forward. And others have said, like, I just feel like, maybe I need to take a minute when I hear Feedback. I I take it very, very personally, and it's really not about you. I just. It's what happens. So, okay, that's fine, and just knowing that helps to like plan other meetings. So.
• 24:53
  Melinda Lee: Right.
• 24:54
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: You know, and also to prepare. Say, Hey, we're gonna have a meeting, and there is some feedback that I need to give you. So just please come ready to hear it. And if you're not ready to hear it, let me know, and we can reschedule just so that the person has a little bit of room to process and get ready.
• 25:09
  Melinda Lee: Right.
• 25:10
  Melinda Lee: That's so beautiful. That's so beautiful. And going back to like what you were saying. In the workplace there could be a lot. There's lots of different conflicts, different perspectives, and.
• 25:21
  Melinda Lee: And so, having these type of strategies, these these ways to navigate
• 25:27
  Melinda Lee: in a very compassionate relationship, oriented way of thinking about the person and also the relationship. It's beautiful. Would you like to add anything else in terms of how do we have continue to think about our relationships even when we're going through so many different things.
• 25:45
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Yeah, I think. You know, someone in human resources or in leadership might say, like, I don't have time to deal with the things the way that you're talking about Dylan. I don't have time to have these conversations to like prep them for a meeting with them. They should just be able to come to the meeting. And I would say, like, if your entire staff is that way, then you you're gonna have an issue right? Because you're not gonna have productivity.
• 26:08
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: But if you've got a few folks who who have this kind of disposition, I do think, and they are, and they do produce, and they do help like
• 26:18
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: meet your company goals, and they are helping within their active and very productive within your team. I do think it's worth it to take a minute, take a beat and like work with that employee and support them, and find out if you can provide professional development or coaches that will support them in their growth. To get them to be at a place that you feel like is more in line with your with your standards for your team, for your employees or for your organization. So it's you know the
• 26:48
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: there's. I understand the argument that there's no time. And I also think like, if you want your organization and your company and your team to be healthy, to be thriving, to have retention, great retention.
• 27:01
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: You're going to want to invest in the people like you don't have an organization or company without people
• 27:06
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: so prioritize them. They're your biggest asset, biggest liability.
• 27:11
  Melinda Lee: But what.
• 27:12
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Like, how do you want to handle that right.
• 27:13
  Melinda Lee: Trust me!
• 27:14
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: So I would say, just keep that in mind about having grace about recognizing that people are coming from all different places, and
• 27:25
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: like politically, socially, in terms of religious in terms of sexuality, all of it education, and
• 27:34
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: not everybody's going to fit the mole of what you think that they should fit, but they might be bring. They may still be an asset, and they may still have.
• 27:43
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: you know, produce the way that you need them to. So I I do think it's worth the investment. I didn't.
• 27:49
  Melinda Lee: That's so beautiful. Right? Yeah, there might be people. Maybe if you just get a little bit more curious as a leader, it does take time, but, like mentioned, your people are your greatest assets, so take a little bit of time, to find out where they're at, and then give them the resources they need. If if that makes sense.
• 28:09
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: And then have the have, the have, the discernment and the professional discretion to know like this isn't working right when it's when it's not working. It's not working, but give it a try like lean in
• 28:22
  Melinda Lee: Versus ignore it.
• 28:23
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Versus ignore it exactly.
• 28:24
  Melinda Lee: Right? Right? So I love that. So I'd like to ask you what? I asked all my guests at the end. What is the one leadership, golden takeaway that you want the audience to remember.
• 28:37
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Build those relationships and and lean in, lean into it.
• 28:41
  Melinda Lee: Yes, even if it's uncomfortable, even if it's uncertain, even if you don't have time, have that discernment to know when to lean in.
• 28:50
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Yeah, I think, yeah, it's it's it's like, How how do you want to live in the world? How do you want to be seen in the world?
• 28:56
  Melinda Lee: Right.
• 28:56
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: How do you? How productive? Do you want to be right? I think building. I know that building positive and constructive relationships with people
• 29:05
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: not only feels good personally, but also will advance you professionally. You will have more you will have more allies in the workplace. You will have more support for your ideas to move things forward so, and you will also have more.
• 29:24
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: I feel like being comfortable in the workplace. People will know you will feel comfortable. They'll feel comfortable. The drama starts to reduce. So it's really important to just build those relationships.
• 29:35
  Melinda Lee: That is Key I that is so important. I love that.
• 29:39
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Even when you don't feel like it, you know, and and.
• 29:42
  Melinda Lee: Yeah.
• 29:42
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: You know, try to keep them positive, keep a positive relationship and take the high road. I think that's really the really important one is like, remember that it's not about you. And it's you know people's behaviors is they're not about you. It's really their own thing. And you've got to figure out how you're going to work it to make it so you can be productive, and they can be productive in the workplace.
• 30:06
  Melinda Lee: yeah, asking ourselves, how can
• 30:08
  Melinda Lee: we make this work? How can we collaborate yeah, and how.
• 30:14
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: You.
• 30:15
  Melinda Lee: Right, right.
• 30:16
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: I was just gonna say you miss out like. So you can be like creative to be innovative. You can have great energy, or you can spend your time sulking, negative, complaining, arguing, bickering, sending these emails back and forth, tit for tat over analyzing.
• 30:36
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: I mean, what kind of person and what kind of workplace do you want to be in? And I think like, if you take the time to like.
• 30:43
  Melinda Lee: Yeah. Yeah.
• 30:44
  Melinda Lee: Great that.
• 30:44
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Build those relationships.
• 30:45
  Melinda Lee: Relationships. I love it. I will drop the mic right there. Thank you so much. Build those relationships. Thank you, Crystal, for your time. Thank you. Audience, for being here. I until next time. I'm your sister and flow. Keep building those relationships and create the space, the environment that you want in the workplace. Be a leader in it.
• 31:08
  Melinda Lee: and until I see you again.
• 31:10
  Melinda Lee: take care, bye.
• 31:13
  Chrystal Ellis Sweazey, She/Her: Bye.
• 31:13
  Melinda Lee: Bye. Thank you. Okay.