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Romeo In The Morning 6-4-26 · Romeo In The Morning

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What's going on? It's Romeo and we got to talk
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: about relationships with Michael Bean today. We also talked about
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: a lady who I guess she met a guy who
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: was living in an apartment, but he owned a g wagon.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Isn't that like one hundred thousand dollars car right there?
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: She thought that might be a red flag? What's he
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: spending his money on. Let's get going. Let me get
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: to some of the things you text message. Just so
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: you guys know, I do keep everything you text me.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: If I don't get to it, I do just I
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: print it out and just hold on to it so
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I can get to it later. Hey, Rome, what do
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: you think about this? I've been dating this girl for
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: about six months and I really like her. She has
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: two kids and the baby daddy is involved in the
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: kid's life. Well, I found out that the daddy, the
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: baby daddy, takes the kids to school a couple of
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: times a week. Sometimes he'll stay at her house the
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: night before he has to take them to school. I'm
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: not sure what to think about that. What do you think, Rome?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Gonna tell you what everybody listening is gonna think. Oh,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: she's still sleeping with her baby daddy. Why does he
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: stay at her house? I mean, I get it. The
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: kids kids probably get up early for school. What time
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: the kids get up for school? Six seven? So uh,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: if he's trying to uh, I guess it's easier for
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: him to just go to stay there. I have a
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: couple of questions for you before I guess I. Well,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: here's a couple of questions for you. One, has he
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: stayed the night when you've been there? Because if he
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: has stayed the night when you've stayed the night, or
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: have you stayed the night at her house? That changes
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: the dynamic a little bit. She's probably being straight up
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: with you. And where does he sleep? Also does he
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: like work nights or something? Does he got like a
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: does he work late? What time does he show up there?
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, and is he showing up like if he
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: has to take the kids to school the next day?
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Is he showing up at getting off at five and
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: just going over there and staying there until the next
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: day they're having dinner together like a family. I mean,
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: what's going on? It sounds a little strange to me.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's not unreasonable for exes to get along,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: especially if they have kids and try to do it's
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: best for their kids. And but you still got a
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: couple other questions there, like where's he sleeps? He got
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: his own room, sleep on the couch? Does he? And
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: when does he show up? I mean, if the guy works,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: you know, let's say he's a bartender and he gets
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: off at eight and or you know, at midnight, one
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: or two, and he's just coming over, sleeping, getting getting
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: up and taking the kids. I can understand that a
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: little more. Then if he's got a day job and
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: gets off at four and he's just going to your
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: going to her house and staying, so that would change
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: the dynamic. I guess I'm gonna say get out. I
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: guess I guess if I would say that's too much
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: to handle, no woman's worth that. You can go find
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: a woman who's just as good as her without those
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: kind of you know, without those kind of without that
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: kind of baggage, a baby daddy who stays over and kids. Okay,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: you don't need to do all that. So a guy
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: sent me this and he was talking about I guess
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: he's been dating this woman for about six months and
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: apparently she has two kids and her baby daddy. Her
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: ex takes the kids to school a couple of days
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: a week, he says, so sometimes he'll stay at her
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: house the night before, which I guess makes some sense,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: right because kids get up early. I mean, kids get
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: up pretty early right for school, So you gotta you,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: you gotta get him, get him ready, So it might
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: make it easier. He just doesn't over think about it. Yeah,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know either. That's interesting already four two fours
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: seven yo. Rome. Tell that guy it's only been six months.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: He needs to get out of a relationship, because I
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: could almost guarantee she's still sleeping with her ex.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: It may not be all the time, she may sleep
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: with them between boyfriends, but she's always going to sleep
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: with her ex. I have two kids with my ex wife,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: and when she's not dating anybody, we still sleep together.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: The funny thing about the funny thing about people who
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: have kids together, They always think that it's okay to
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: go back to sleep with each other, and it doesn't
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: matter whether they're in relationships or not. Kind of a
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: been there, done that type of thing. Hey, Rome, ain't
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: no way they aren't sleeping together. I don't care about
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: his job as scheduling or if he only has rides
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: a one leg and rides a bicycle. He can pick
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: up pick him up in the morning. Okay, maybe already
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: four two, about four seven to seven. So this guy
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: said he's been dating this girl for six months. Right,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: she's got a couple of kids. But the baby daddy,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: I guess, is involved with the kids lives. So he
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: found out that the dad takes the kids to school
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: a couple of times a week, which is right, none
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: wrong with at but sometimes he stays over, which yeah,
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man, Maybe it's weird, maybe it's not.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, it would make it convenient for him to
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: just get up with the kids, right, get him ready
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: and go. But I guess it just depends on the
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: other the other what happens surrounding the situation. Does he
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: what time does he show up? You know, what's the
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: deal with? Does he have a key to the house.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's a lot of uh, there's a lot
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: of questions that need to be answered before I would say, lever,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: it's only been six months, just get out. I mean
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: they may not be sleeping together anymore, but I would
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: say get out just because why would you want to
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: do with those headaches? Are those questions when there's a
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: lot of other women out there who aren't doing things
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: like that, who aren't putting their relationships or their future
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: relationships in some sort of jeopardy by having these types
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: of possible red flags. So I would say, just go
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: find a woman without kids or with a baby daddy
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: that's locked up or something. Go find one where the
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: baby daddy's not around. That would be easier if that's
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: what you're into already. For two for seven to seven.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I do want to say this though, I do believe
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: what the last person said, that they're still sleeping together.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I and that couples who have kids, for some reason,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: they're logic when it comes to jumping back into bed
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: with each other that it's okay, it's not cheating because
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: we've already been there, done that, so it's not it's
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: like an extension of the previous relationship, no matter when
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: they have sex again. I do believe that most people
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: think like that that, well, men don't care, they just
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: want to have sex. I think women justify it by saying, well,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: we've already had kids together, so him sleeping with me
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: is nothing new, so it doesn't really count as a
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: new experience. Even though you may be in relationships with
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: other people, it's not considered cheating. I do believe that
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: a lot of women think like that. Men. I don't
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: think men care. They're just trying to get so already
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: four two five fours seven seven. It's already four two,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: five fours seven seven. This guy's story is kind of wild, right,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: he's been dating this woman for six months. Apparently the
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: baby daddy she has two kids. The baby daddy's still
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: very involved with the kids, takes them to school a
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: couple of times a week. So sometimes the baby daddy
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: will stay at the house, which he doesn't know what
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: to think about that. He's asking me, I don't know.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: They could still be sleeping together, or he could just
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: be I don't know, And there's so many questions that
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: need to be answered. Hey, room, I still go stay
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: up my baby mama's house to do the same. I'll
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: go sleep with the kids in their bunk beds. Some
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: we have a son who is autistic, So sometimes instead
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: of bringing to my house, depending on how late she
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: falls asleep and she is getting overwhelmed, I'll just stay. Well,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: that is a little bit of a different situation. I
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: get that I did tell her. Once one of us
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: gets serious about someone, that will stop out of respect
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: to whoever we end up with. So with that, I'll
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: be with that. All being said, leave more. It leaves
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: more questions for me. Does he just stay the night
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: to stay the night or is there a reason he does? Well, yeah,
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: that's a good question. I mean it makes a lot
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: of sense with you. You know, you have a special
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: needs child and you got to do what's best for
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: them and keep them in their comfort zone. So that
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I don't know. He
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: leaves more questions and answers basically right now already four
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: two four or seven to seven. Abraham, that sounds complicated.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: It does sound complicated. He needs to. He's only been
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: dating for six months. Bro, you don't need complicated. You
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: can find uncomplicated, you know what I'm saying. No woman
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: is worth complicated, especially if you've only been dating it
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: for six months. I know the first four to five
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: years after me and my exploit, we were still hooking up.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: But it's been two years after both of us going
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: through serious relationships and now out of them again. We
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: haven't even looked at each other that way at all,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: and he stayed at my house with the kids. So
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: two years ago, I would have definitely laughed and said
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: and said, oh, there's no way they aren't hooking up still,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: But now I know you can have a co parenting
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: relationship without any extras. Okay, fair enough. Already four or
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: seven to seven So a guy said, he said, he's
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: been dating this girl for about six months. Right, she
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: got two kids. Apparently the baby daddy, her ex is
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: very involved with the kid's life. So every once in
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: a while he'll stay at her house because he takes
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: the kids to school a couple of times a week.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, what do you think? Get fourteen, five,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: four or seven to seven? Goodrding out? What's going on?
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Romeo?
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: When did men become the women in the relationship?
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: What they call today's call what's the dream?
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: What to have a.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Woman that that wasn't all over us all the damn time,
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: that let us go out.
• 10:32
  Speaker 6: And be a man.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: But now where the whims in these relationships?
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Why do you say that?
• 10:41
  Speaker 7: Because there I don't know, too emotional about what's going on.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: If it's a six month relationship.
• 10:51
  Speaker 7: Is he's saying he's in love with oh.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I see. Yeah, he might be in a little inp
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: in his feelings right now, or maybe he's just asking
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: because this might be the turning point where he has
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: to decide whether he's gonna commit or not. I mean,
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: that could be why he's asking the question. But I
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: gat with you. I mean, if you're gonna fall in
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: love that quick, ain't no woman in a six month
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: relationship worth complicated. I'm gonna tell you right now, there
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: ain't no a woman out there that's worth complicated after
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: six months.
• 11:18
  Speaker 7: Right, don'tdate a woman with more problems than you have.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: That's a good rule to live by.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: It.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: That's a good rule of thumb right there. Don't did
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: a woman with more issues than you, although don't they
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: all have more issues than you already? Fourteen, five, four
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: or seven seven? Hey Romeo, Oh, let me tell you
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: my situation. So, my baby daddy or ex husband and
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: I broke up four years ago. We got divorced. Now
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: we have a nineteen year old who just graduated in
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: high school and is in college. Oh last year, okay,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: and we have a fourteen year old. When we split up,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: we said we would both take care of the kids,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: that we would not get in serious relationships because the
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: kids had to come first. So we still do sleep
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: together because of because of the kids. We still do
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: sleep together because of the kids. Oh, you guys still
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: sleep to you guys still sleep together because you made
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: a decision that the kids were gonna come first. No
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: outside I see, no outside relationships until the kids. Now,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: let me tell you, Romeo, when our youngest, the fourteen
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: year old, graduates high school, things may change because both
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: our kids will be out of the house. Do you
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: still live together? That's a good question. Both our kids
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: will be out of the house, so things may change
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: and we may go off and find other people to
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: settle down with. But until that, we still have a
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: relationship for our kids and still have a sexual relationship. Okay,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I mean I can't argue with it. I mean sounds
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: like you guys had a plan the kids come first, right,
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: So okay, all right. A couple of things happened yesterday
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: that I don't know what to think about. You guys.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: I got about let's see, raider Rob sent me James
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Nico had about four guys send me conspiracy theories on
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: this cat that this bomber dude that went into the
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: that went into that bank yesterday or the day before,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: whenever it was, and that there's some huge conspiracy going
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: on that this guy was falsely convicted whatever he was
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: convicted of, so he was trying to draw attention to it,
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: and the cops had the FBI come in and shoot
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: him because they didn't want it all come to light.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: And yeah, and then dot dot dot, Oh there's so
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: much more. You got to look into this, Romeo. You
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: gotta cha, No, I don't, you guys. Everything's a conspiracy,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: everything's a you know, a plot to get even. And
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: all I can think of when these guys sent me
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: this information yesterday was how did they know he was
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: going to walk in there and do that? If what
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: you're telling me, and this is just I don't even
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: know if everything is you're telling me. If what you're
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: telling me that he was set up by the cops
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: for the FBI to shoot him, how did they know
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: he was going to go in there? He could have
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: just pleted his case on social media forever. People do that.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: I just I don't. Some of you guys got to
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: get hobbies or something. You spend too much time looking
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: into things that aren't real. I know some conspiracies are real,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: but I don't. I'm not totally sure that this one is.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: You guys are on the right track with this one, Okay.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: So that's the one thing that happened. The other thing
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: that happened was I watched my first full basketball game yesterday.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I watched the NBA Play Finals with the Knicks and
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: the Spurs, the first first time in probably six years,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: seven years, that I watched an entire basketball game, from
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: start to finish. Wouldn't that actually wouldn't bad?
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: Game?
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Pretty actually pretty exciting. I guess I've gotten so used
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: to basketball being all about the fouls, all about the flopping,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: all about the stars not wanting to play and crying
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: so much that I never realized you can actually have
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: a good basketball game, because that's what it was. Not
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: a lot of fouls, real good defense, really really actually
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: pretty impressive game, to be honest with you. So I
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: might stick with it. I might follow this series and
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: see what happens. Looks like the ref are doing a
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: great job and just letting him play ball, and it works,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: and I don't have I don't have to see Lebron
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: James falling on the ground crying like you just got
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: run over by a mac truck when one hundred and
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: twenty pound Stephan Curry knocked him over. Yeah, so anyway,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: all right eight four, two five four or seven seven.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: So those were the two big things that happened yesterday
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: for me, and I played around the golf. That was awful,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: gosh terrible. Send me here, let me see. Hey, Romeo,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: wanted to get your opinion on something. I met this
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: guy over the weekend. He was driving one of those
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Mercedes GA wagons. Isn't that like one hundred thousand dollars car?
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know, is it another pretty expensive so he's
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: driving isn't that like one hundred thousand dollars car? But
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: he was living in an apartment. It was kind of
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: a red flag to me. This guy had an expensive
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: car like that but didn't have a home. I'm not
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: really sure what to think about that. Uh Am, I
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: just wrong for thinking that's a red flag. No, yes,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: and no. I mean he probably went through divorce, lost
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: the house, kept his car. I mean that's probably what happened,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: you know, So he asked to live in an apartment
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: because you know, I don't know. Yeah, if he was
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: if he's divorced, then it's probably not a red flag.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: If he's just an idiot who went and bought one
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars car instead of a house, Yes, that's
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: a red flag. Okay, So I mean, can you afford
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: a house? Can you afford a house? Well, I guess
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: you just met him, so I don't know. I would
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: say I always go with that. There's a lot of
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: guys that do that. Though there's a lot of guys
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: not driving g wagons, but there's a lot of guys
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: in around town with these seventy eighty thought well almost
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I guess on ninety thousand dollars trucks that are living
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: in apartments because they lost their house and kids and
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: their yukon to their wife. So now they gotta you know,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: they can't afford both, so they have to live in
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: an apartment and start over again. So I mean, he
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: could be going through that find out if he went
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: through a divorce, maybe that's why he's living there. But
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I mean I could kind of go any either way
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: with it. See, I was always I was raised to
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: buy a house, so it was always more important to
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: have a house than it was a nice car. In Bakersfield.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of guys that would rather have a
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: nice car than a house. But that doesn't necessarily mean
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: it's a red flag because if you don't need a house, well,
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: I guess renting is still just throwing money away when
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: you can buy a house. So, yeah, it might be
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: a red flag. I was gonna say, if you don't
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: really need a house, then you know, just stay in
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: an apartment. But why would you just throw your money
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: away like that? I don't know. Yeah, that might shows
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know already. Four to two, five, four or
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: seven to seven. Yeah, I guess there's some more questions
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: that need to be answered before we decide if it's
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: a red flag or not. So a woman sent me
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: a text message she met some guy over the weekend.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I guess last weekend, and I guess he was driving
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: a g Wagon. Is that that's a one hundred thousand
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Merced one hundred thousand dollars car, right as you veva,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: she says, But he was living in an apartment. She
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: wants to know, if it's a red flag or not,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: why doesn't he have a home if he can afford
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: a car like that, why doesn't he have a home. Yeah,
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: I mean it's interesting. There's a lot of things that
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: could be going on. If he's just a single guy
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: who never you know, just doesn't need a home, I
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: guess I could see. But why would you need a
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: car that exp I mean, it is kind of embarrassing
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: to be in an apartment drive it an expensive car
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: like that. I mean, that is kind of an embarrassment.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: So yeah, maybe it's a red flag. Maybe it's financially
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: he's concerned more about materialistic things than he is about
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: actually living so or I don't know, Hardie four two
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: or seven to seven yo. Rome it's not really a
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: red flag. I think the guy's just been divorced, and
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: that's what normally happens in Bakersfield. These guys cheat on
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: their wives and they lose the house, the car, and everything.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: All they're stuck with is their ninety thousand dollars pickup
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: truck and they have to live in an apartment or
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: go back home to mom. It's a it's a it's
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: what is it? Oh, it's a typical Bakersfield story, Romeo.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: So that's what she's probably dealing with. The problem is
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: not the car or the apartment. The problem is he
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: may have cheated on his wife to end up in
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: this situation. Maybe, I you know, maybe I would ask
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: if you're if you're concerned about it. The red flag,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: So you're saying the red flag is he's a cheater.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: You guys are amazing. You guys can always bring something
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: back to cheat without fail. It always comes back to cheating.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: But you do make a lot of sense. I know,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: I know plenty of guys that lost their marriages one
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: way or the other, and now they're living in an
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: apartment because well she got the house, the kids in
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: the Yukon and now they got their truck. And you
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: know the Springs text message. I thought it was kind
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: of funny, says, hey, Rome, I want to get your
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: opinion on something. I met this guy over the weekend.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: He was driving one of those g wagons. Isn't that
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: like one hundred thousand dollars car? But he was living
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: in an apartment. Well at least it wasn't living with
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: his mom. I mean that's better, right. Is that kind
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: of a red flag? The guy spends his money on
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: a car, not a not a house. Uh, maybe there's
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: some things you got to consider. Good morning, How what's
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: going on Thromeo.
• 21:49
  Speaker 6: That's the troll them with America today. What's that tuble standards?
• 21:52
  Speaker 6: You know, a woman can get testic surgery or BBL
• 21:56
  Speaker 6: and drive a Honda Civic live in an apartment and
• 21:58
  Speaker 6: that's okay because it's self low. But when a man
• 22:03
  Speaker 6: wastes money and is irresponsible, it's a red flag.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Wait, a woman can get plastic surgery, live in an apartment,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: driving a Honda, and you're saying there's nothing wrong with.
• 22:19
  Speaker 6: That, Well, it's it's not frowned upon. She won't have
• 22:25
  Speaker 6: a problem with the man dating her.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Not a good man. You know, she's not gonna find
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: a good well, hold on, she's not going to find
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: a good man.
• 22:33
  Speaker 6: Well, it depends. It all depends, you know. And what
• 22:36
  Speaker 6: kind of car did he buy? Because I bought an
• 22:38
  Speaker 6: expensive truck just in case I got to live in
• 22:40
  Speaker 6: it one day, So you know he may be planning ahead.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: You never know.
• 22:45
  Speaker 6: You can't judge. The book reads covered well.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: I can kind of because it's a This is a sad,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: typical uh Vegarsfield story. A lot of guys cheat on
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: their wives. Then they end up losing the wife, the kids,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: the house, and the and they and he's got to
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: live in this truck in an apartment. That's that's typical.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: That's not even that happens more often than you would
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: think in Bakersfield. So that's why I say, I don't
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: know if it's maybe it's not. Maybe it's just a
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: guy who doesn't need a house and rather have a
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: nice car. I don't know.
• 23:18
  Speaker 6: Maybe he's just treating himself. You know, you can't take
• 23:21
  Speaker 6: nothing with you, So maybe he's just enjoying life while.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: He's living in and maybe he's willing to buy a
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: house when he meets somebody. I don't know. You might
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: be right, Rader David. I don't know, but I will
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: tell you this. I know plenty of guys over the
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: years that lost everything and are living in apartments with
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: their ninety thousand dollars truck parked under the overhang.
• 23:41
  Speaker 6: It doesn't let his value. It's a good investment.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, I get I don't know the guy's situation.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: I mean to ask to just think he lives in
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: an apartment with one hundred thousand dollars car is gosh.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man, the odds are he lost everything,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: that's why he's living there are they four two, five, four,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: seven to seven going to Rome. Maybe the wife cheated
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: on him. Maybe the wife cheated with his brother. Why
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: did it have to be his brother?
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: I need to speak on that.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, what's up.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Let's be clear.
• 24:20
  Speaker 7: It's a whole lot easier.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: To get a car than it is a house.
• 24:25
  Speaker 6: Do you know what a down payment is on the
• 24:26
  Speaker 6: three hundred thousand dollars houses and what you have to
• 24:29
  Speaker 6: do to get a house as opposed to a car.
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: People people always, i mean people always say that.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, here live in an apartment.
• 24:38
  Speaker 6: Like you said, it's better he's live in apartment than
• 24:40
  Speaker 6: with his parents.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: But yeah, hey, I have no problem with that because,
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: like I said, it's a whole lot.
• 24:45
  Speaker 6: Easier this question, is it?
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: But okay, all right, yeah, you're right, you're right.
• 24:53
  Speaker 6: I mean, people say that, but those people probably don't
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: have a home and they've never bought a house.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: That just that the sadies are saying that.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I'm not gonna argue with it, because you're
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: absolutely right. But it is a common story in Bakersville
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: for these dudes to lose everything and then end up
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: in an apartment with an expensive car.
• 25:11
  Speaker 6: And that's Okay, that's okay, trying to rent?
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: All right? Okay, well thanks you calling. I appreciate that.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Uh So, a woman sent me a text message thing
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: she met a guy over the weekend apparently had a
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: g Wagon. He drove a g Wagon. She says, isn't
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: that like one hundred thousand dollars car? Well, and he
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: was living in an apartment. She wanted to know if
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I thought that was a red flag? Why just guy
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: have such an expensive car but not a home. It's
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: a good question to ask. There's a lot of different
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: real If I was gonna guess, I would say, what
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: probably happened is he split up with his wife. She
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: got the SUV, the kids in the house, He got
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: his car and an apartment. I'm gonna guess that's what happened.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: That's the odds on favorite of what happened. Okay, so,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: or he just doesn't need an apartment. But anybody that
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: says I don't need a house yet is just throwing
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: money away on rent. Is stupid, especially if you have
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: the money to buy a house already. Four to two four,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: seven to seven. Rome, I got a C eight Corvette
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: and my lifted truck and live in a really nice furnace,
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: two bedroom apartment by seven Oaks. I'm thirty two, single
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: with no kids. I don't have to worry about taking
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: care of a yard or maintaining a house. If an apartment,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: if apartment is in the hood, then it's a red flag.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Well yeah, but I understand what you're saying, and that
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: would have been my first thought too, is I don't
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: need I'm thirty two, I'm single, I don't need a house,
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: But you do because you're wasting money on rent. That
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: would be so that shows how immature you are from
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: a fiscal standpoint. All right, Okay, Rome, this is one theory.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Maybe he did cheat and lost everything. Sure, but what
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: if it's just tim and he wanted a nice car
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: and only needs an apartment. Just because a guy drives
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: a nice car and lives in an apartment doesn't mean anything.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Why go out and buy a big house? Who said
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: you had to buy a big house? First of all,
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: that you don't really need for one. As long as
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: he doesn't live in a ghetto apartment with a nice car,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: then there's nothing wrong with what he's doing. I get
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: what you're saying, and I would I would tend to
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: agree with you to an extent. But the problem is,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: if you're going to manage your money right, you would
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: buy a house because the house you can get a
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: return on your investment. An apartment you can't. So that
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: does say something about him. Just like the thirty two
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: year old who wanted to tell me the corvette and
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: the nice truck he just had. That says that you're
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: wasteful with your money because at least with the house
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: you can get a return on your investment. Your cars
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: you probably won't. Oh you might with the corvette, all right,
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: So that does say something about your maturity level or
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: your financial responsibility. Let's see here, Okay, Rome, what do
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: you got here? Eight four two five four seven to
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: seven year old Rome? She's the red flag. She's jumping ahead.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: She should worry about being she should worry about being
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: a hit and quittit girl. Oh that she might just
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: be that. Okay, maybe she just moved to town and
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: is getting settled. Oh maybe he just moved to town
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: and is getting settled.
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: And maybe.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's a lot of possibilities for why this
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: guy has one hundred thousand dollars car and lives in
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: an apartment room the girl sounds like a gold digger.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: She shouldn't worry about where he lives at at or
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: what he drives. She should focus on what person and
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: how he is and what. Oh no, you're totally wrong
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: about that you have to worry about that's a that's
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: a sign, you know, the way people what the way
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: people spend their money is a sign of who they are.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: To an extent, I agree with what you're saying, you know,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: gold digging, but it's not really gold digging to go, Well,
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: the guy can afford to live in a house, but
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: he lives in an apartment. Why is that the guy
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: can afford to go? You know, the guy owns one
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars car but lives in an apartment as
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: opposed to a house. That I mean, you've got to
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: look at the way people spend their money when you
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: start to data. Mind, you walk in and he's got
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: you know, four million Pokemon cards and every day he's
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: out here in front of Barnes and Nobles trying to
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: buy the newest pack. That's a sign of something of
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: how he spends his money. I mean, there's all you know,
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: you want to know things like that, you know, what
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: type of hotels does he want to stay at? Things like,
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: there's things that you can pay attention to in a
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: relationship that will give you an idea of who somebody
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: is and how they spend their money. Is one of them. Hey, rom,
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: I'm a homeowner. I've rented, though I've rented through my twenties.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Nothing wrong with if you don't plan on staying where
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: you're at and after taking care of property. Condo living
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: don't sound too bad? Full, sure, fair enough?
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: More than I was growing, It's going great.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: What's up?
• 30:12
  Speaker 6: A couple of questions?
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: You need to have to grow it?
• 30:16
  Speaker 5: How old is that cat?
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good question. You're right.
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: The GA wagon?
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: How is it?
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: He's it was like early twenties, a lot of little
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: three maybe when he's a pliment. He's a real he's
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: a new real real estate agent. And you know how
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: you got you got it little good. He didn't know.
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: You're not the best real estate, but you do it
• 30:36
  Speaker 6: gotta look good.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: But yeah, he got a j wagon working at Amazon. Now, man,
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: he's got prom with it. I total agree. If you
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: know what he's in his forties. You got divorced, Yeah, yeah.
• 30:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, got gotta know if he's in a young
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: bud or old dude.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what you do?
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: What you do for a living?
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, all right, all right, thanks for calling me. Those
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: are legitimate questions you ask Those are legitimate questions asked.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Michael Bean is here for the Marriage and Family Center
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: and is Thursday said, we got to talk to Michael.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: Good morning, Michael, good morning.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: I am doing fabulous. How are you?
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: Probably all right?
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: So Michael's here and we talked to him about relationships.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Marriage Family Center sixt six one three two seven fifty
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: one hundred is the number. Call go through the process
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: and talk to him. So, Michael, the other day we
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: were talking about, Uh, the guys in Bakersfeld are stupid
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: and they don't realize that they have something to offer
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: a significant other. But the problem is that they don't
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: they just let her deside, you know, they just they
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: just look at the wrong things. So, but I was
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: thinking about this in general.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: If you had to guess, Michael, how many men and women.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: Who are out there looking for relationships don't value their
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: set themselves as they should for a potential partner. Does
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: that make sense to what? Does that make sense? Yeah,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: that we kind of devalue ourselves when it comes to dating,
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: because for whatever reason that may be, I'm not even
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: sure what that reason may be. Maybe we think we're
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: too fat.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: So I think it's a I think that's a human problem,
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: not just even a man problem. I think I think
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: humans get into relationships that they are like like like
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: we talked about off the air settling for you know,
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: so far away from our first choice. Okay, we don't
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: get our first choice. In fact, we're probably gad we
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: didn't get our first choice. Our first choice might not
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: have been a great choice.
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we may compromises along the way, and I don't know.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: I think sometimes we do just start really devaluing ourselves
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: and feeling like, well, maybe maybe I don't deserve any better,
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: or maybe this is better than being alone or something.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: But you know what's kind of funny, now that you've
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: said that, I hear you say it. When we see
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: men or women who do value themselves in a way,
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: we always call them arrogant, or we call them gold diggers.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Are we always degrade them for the fact that they
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: have some standard for themselves that they want to live
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: up to, and they want the person that they get
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: involved with to live up to, and so we degrade
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: them for that, and it makes time, It makes it
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: a lot harder for people to go, well, wait a second,
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: I have some to offer here. And then it gets
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: even worse.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: When you're in the relationship for a while years, marriage,
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: things like that, then you really start to feel, hey,
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: maybe my value is not the same as it once was.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Is that true?
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: I think once you start to kind of compromise, once
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: you start to put up with things, then you do
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: you start to kind of devalue yourself. It's like you
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: convince yourself you are not worth better than the treatment
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: you're getting.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: And what if it's not necessarily totally negative, negative treatment?
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: What if it just could be better. We're not necessarily fighting,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: we're not necessary We're just maybe we're not communicating as
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: much as we used to, but not in a negative way.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: I'm over here watching you know TV. She's over on
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: her phone, and we're in the same room together. We're
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: just not really getting the most out of you out
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: of our relationship because we just kind of, wow, this
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: is kind of where we're at right now.
• 34:38
  Speaker 7: And well, then what you do is you call for
• 34:42
  Speaker 7: five one zero zero. There are five hundred and twenty
• 34:46
  Speaker 7: eight thousand ways to refocus your relationship, to get back
• 34:51
  Speaker 7: on track, to start looking forward to seeing each.
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: Other again when things have gotten kind of stale and
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: you're just kind of not really clicking anymore. And there's
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: way more than just one of those that's going to
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: work for you.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: What about noticing it? How much of us really notice
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: it and go, wait a second, this is not necessarily
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: we're just it could take years to notice. That could
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: take years to notice. We're just in the same room together, right.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: I think we kind of notice it right away, but
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: we just don't really, I don't know, we don't really
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: acknowledge it. It's just it's kind of like if you're
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: working at a job that you're not finding really you know, rewarding,
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: or you're not getting paid what you think you should,
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: and you're just kind of just like, man, your shoulders
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: kind of shrug and just keep showing up, you know,
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: instead of trying to do something a little bit better.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: It's funny how that works, Huh.
• 35:50
  Speaker 5: We do?
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: We just it's kind of like, well, at least I
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: know they're going to keep paying me if I keep
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: showing up here.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: Well, at least I know that she's.
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: Going to be there when I get home, you know,
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: or he's going to be there when I get home. Yeah,
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: we do. We just kind of like the certainty of tomorrow.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: We just really value that we maybe more than, like
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: you said, the potential for living better.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: All right, Michael beanis here. I'm gonna talk to him
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: a little bit more about your relationships. And I don't
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: know how many of you right now or you know,
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: living in that world where you're just you're not unhappy,
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: but you're not happy. Is there kind of a world
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: where you can live like that, Michael, where you're not
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: you're not getting the most out of your marriage, but
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: you're not getting the worst out of your marriage.
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, you just keep showing up.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: Michael beanis here from the Marriage and Family Center six
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: one three two seven fifty one hundred. Good morning, Michael,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Good morning. Now we're talking, Michael about not necessarily being
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: in a bad relationship, but maybe not getting the most
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: out of it that you want because we just kind
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: of go, well, this is my life now. I'm a
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I'm a married man, I got a couple of kids.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I got basketball on Fridays, I got you know, baseball
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: on Saturdays and I'm playing golf on Sundays and give
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: you know, dinners at five every night, and there could
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: be more, and you're you're saying there can be more
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: in a relationship. So what if you have what do
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: you do when you go to your spouse and go,
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: you know what, I want a little more out of
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: this in this do you have to have a plan
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: to say I want a little more of this way? So,
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: because I can see a lot of spouses getting offended,
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: what do you mean you want more?
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: Right? And what are you really trying to say? And
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: are you leaving me? I think that's fear starts to
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: take over instead of just yeah, it's really particularly if
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: the relationship has been just a little ho hum. And
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: I think it's real easy to be discouraged at a
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: conversation like that could be inadvertently discouraging if it's not
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: handled well, uh yeah, sometimes a little bits at a time,
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: so that you're sort of creating a conversation instead of
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden, you know, hey, let's go out
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: to dinner. I have something most serious for us to
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: talk about to Mary. Yeah, and even just said that
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: kind of.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because it's just I don't understand do most people?
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: And we're gonna get a little general here, Michael. I
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: know you don't really like to do it, but do
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Most people just have a hard time having conversations which
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: with each other, even if they are in the best
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: interest of each other.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: And our egos get in the way, don't they. You know,
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: somebody makes a suggestion that something could be a little
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: bit better, we're like, you be better, you know, or whatever.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: We just reactive. We just don't want to hear it.
• 38:56
  Speaker 6: It's like the complaints, you're never happy.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: But I mean, if I come to you, Michael and say, look,
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: things can be better between us, but it's not you
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: that can make it better. It's both of us that
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: can make it better. Is that an unreasonable state than
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: to make I'm not saying you're the reason, we're not.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: We're we're not doing better. We're both the reason. And
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: is that unreasonable to say not to somebody without them
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: going blowing up, going oh my god, our relationship is terrible.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, that's not what I'm saying.
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: I think the way you said that right now would
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: be much more likely to get a positive result. Not
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: in every case, and it depends on history too. How
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: many times have you maybe brought it up poorly before,
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: and so maybe now they still hear the same thing
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: even though you're saying it way differently. It's just really
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: weird sometimes. Also, this is I know I'm super self
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: serving to say, but when you do get in front
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: of a professional and have the same conversation, very often
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: they hear it different just because there's another person there,
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: you know, kind of responding to the same things, and
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: they see that and then all of a sudden their
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: ears kind of hear it in a new way.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: I just wonder, Michael, how many people listening right now
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: actually give it am what we're saying, But also don't
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: don't realize that, hey, we have a nice relationship right now.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: We might have a nice car or a nice house,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: we might have good kids, but our relationship is just
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: kind of as you say, ho hum, even if that
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: it can just be a little bit better. Why why
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: are we not working in relationships to be a little
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: bit better? We only work on them when they're negative.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: We don't ever work on them when they're just kind
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: of moving along. Why don't we ever try to work
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: on them to be just a little bit better.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think it goes back to that job analogy
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: that I gave, the idea, you just keep showing up
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: for a job that span the bill. Yeah, you know,
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: maybe we have Maybe we have that same kind of
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: mentality when it comes to relationships. If I just keep
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: showing up, at least there won't be alone.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Boy, that's kind of sad. Are we that afraid of
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: being alone? As human beings?
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: Are we that afraid of not being able to pay
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: the bills? You know that we look at for another job.
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: Are you looking for a way to enhance the job
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: that we do have or whatever? We just don't want
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: to rock the boat. If we can figure out a niche,
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: a way to kind of survive, if we have in
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: our brain that another paycheck's coming, you know, yeah in
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: two weeks, then we might not rock the boat.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's wild, Michael, Michael being his air for the
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: Marriage and Family Center going is there for the Marriaging
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: Family Center? Six one three two seven fifty one hundred,
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: Good morning, Michael, Good morning Michael. Before we get to
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: add a here, this idea, like what you said about
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: this idea of your relation people treating their relationships like
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: a job you don't really hate your job, but it's
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: really not. You know, if you could do something else
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: make some more money, you would, but you're not really
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: out there looking for it because you got bills to pay.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: And when we talk about relationships, I kind of get
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: the sense that a lot of us are more afraid
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: of taking a risk with our partner, with our spouse
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: to be better because we might end up alone. Is
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: that a reasonable statement to make?
• 42:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: I think so. I think we're really afraid that we're
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: going to somehow convey the message that we're not into them,
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: or that the relationship is broken or something, and so
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: we just don't. We just don't. Just like you don't
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: go into the boss and say, hey, you know, I'm
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: thinking about my job duties and what have been doing
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: and where it's kind of go, okay, Well, you don't
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: want your boss to think that you're not happy with
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: your job, so you just hold all that in, you know,
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: you don't ever have that conversation. Yeah, I knew. I
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: think a lot of us just settled put up with
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: another hohum day because it's better than a crappy day,
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: and we're afree of.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: The crappy day. Also, before is you said when you
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: talk to a third party like you you know, and
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: you go when you hear somebody else say it, a
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: professional say it. We're not talking about our friends at
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: the bar or you know, your sister, your brother, your mom,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: or your dad, because they're kind of the same way.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: We're talking about when somebody like you says, hey, this
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: could be better, that people might listen a little more
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: and your your word might hold a little more weight,
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: even though me and her, er him and her could
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: be having the same conversation every day. It's just when
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: you say it, you go, well, wait a second, yeah, he's.
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: Right, Romeo. It's even whacky to that they can say
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: it to me in the same words that they said
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: it to their partner before, but saying it to me,
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden, their partner looks at him and go, oh,
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: it's not me.
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: It's just the fact that there's another human being there
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: hearing it and kind of nodding that makes it make
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: sense to them in a very different way.
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: I don't I don't really completely get that thing, but
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: it just happens over and over again that sometimes you
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: just need to say it in front.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: Of someone who will not so weird who.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: Your partner may be, respects or something, and then all
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: of a sudden they can wrap their mind around it
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: in a way that you haven't been able to help
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: them see it for years.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: Michael, we are so weird. Human beings deserve. We deserve
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: everything you get.
• 44:44
  Speaker 5: We do not.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: We deserve whatever we're getting. We deserve it because we
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: are so either stupid, naive, h don't care. I don't
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: know what the word is for, but we deserve it all.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: If that's if that's the case, if I could tell you, hey,
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: I want to go to the zoo, and somebody goes no,
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: But then I say, well, Michael, I want to go
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: to the zoo, and the wife goes, well, let's go
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: to the zooe.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: That that is?
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: It's just I don't.
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: Know what that is.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: I really don't.
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like, well, if it just comes from you,
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: then uh, maybe I'm biased. Maybe I'm thinking you're coming
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: from a certain perspective. I'm actually probably thinking you're saying
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: something else. Would you say let's go to the zoo?
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: What you're saying is we don't do enough in our relationship.
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: We will take me in that place, you know, all
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: of this stuff. But all of a sudden, when you
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: say let's go to the zoo in front of me,
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: and and I just kind of am looking like I
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: wonder how you're feeling about going to the zoo, A
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: lot of other stuff goes away.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh my god, we are just we
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: deserve everything to get Michael, You're fascinating, we are, we
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: are fascinating individuals. Anyway, Michael, at what point do we
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: con At what point do we say, you know what?
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: I've said this enough in a one hundred different ways
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: to not try to be offensive. But yet, for some reason,
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: it seems like the longer and longer couples together, the
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: more and more they get defensive with each other about
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: things they say to each other. At what point do
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: we have to really go you know what? We need
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: to talk to somebody because this is just this is
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: getting out of hand. I'm not against you, I'm on
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: your side. We need to figure out how to deal
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: with each other.
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: I mean, everybody has to answer that question for themselves.
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: But Harry, the sooner the better. The worst thing is
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: to stay in that rut, because staying in the rut
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: means that rut gets deeper and harder to get out of.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: The more you keep going down that same rut, the
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: deeper the rut gets. Get out faster. It's always easier sooner.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: But I've had people who have been in ruts for decades.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: It's awesome.
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: How to get out, impossible to get out. It's just
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: a lot easier if you do it sooner. I get
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: people sometimes within the first year of their marriage or
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: whatever and kind of saying, hey, we're getting some kind
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: of weird habits starting and we don't want them. That's perfect,
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: that's the that's the time we want to do it.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: Don't just settle for it. Don't just think, well, you know,
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: maybe we'll deal with us down the road or whatever.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: Now, we'll right on it. We'll deal with it after
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: the kids are out in college. We'll deal with it
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: after spring break. We'll deal Yeah, all right, Michael, thank
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: you for thanks for getting here this morning. Michael being
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: the manager Family Center six six, one three two seven
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: fifty one hundred. What did you text me here? Re
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: four two five four or seven to seven? Hey, Roam,
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: what do you think about single moms? I met a
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: single mom the other day. I thought she was kind
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: of cool. I was thinking about going out with her,
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: but she has a kid. Just not sure what to think.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: What do you think rome single moms? What do I think?
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: I think? Uh? I think a single mom can be
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: the best relationship of your life and the worst relationship
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: of you. It depends on what type of single mom
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: you got. You said not all single moms are created equal. Okay,
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: there are different versions of the single mom. You got
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: the and I think this is the version you're talking about.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: You got the single mom who got pregnant young uh
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: with the wrong guy. So now she's working her ass
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: off to take care of her and her child, and
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: she wants to meet some guy who's going to uh.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: She's not going to settle for some loser. She wants
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: to meet some guy who's going to uh, you know,
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: work as hard as she is. And those are I've
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: told you, those are the best, probably the best women
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: you can get with, because she knows she she knows
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: where her life has to go because of this child.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: And if you're on her level and you chill do
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: whatever you want and be right there with you. You
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: also got the single mom who's out there just looking
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: for a baby daddy to pay for everything right, And
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: those come in different versions, by the way. Okay, they
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: come in the version where she's not really she doesn't
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: have nothing going for her. She's just kind of desperate
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: for a man and needs someone to take care of
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: her kids. Her and her kids. Maybe she's not financially straight.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: But then you got the Seven Oaks Rosedale single moms
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: who got cheated on by their husbands. They got the
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: yukon the house and the kids. But yet they're running
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: around in their Lululemon still trying to grab a guy
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: who's gonna keep up their lifestyle, you know. So there's
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: one who So you got two types of those, the
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: one who wants to keep up their lifestyle and the
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: one who's trying to get a lifestyle or survive. So
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: what single mom did you meet? But there is, Like
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: I said, I think the single mom who knew she
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: she had a child young or younger and know she
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: has to work her ass off to raise that child
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: and take care of them is the single mom that
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: you want to look for because she's the one that
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: will uh, she's the one that will do everything for
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: you as long as you're on the same level as her.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: So that's my opinion on single moms. Which one did
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: you find?
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: Hey?
• 50:30
  Speaker 5: What up?
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: Romeo? What brother?
• 50:32
  Speaker 4: You know you're right, man, you got to get the
• 50:34
  Speaker 4: right single mother. You know, you don't want to get
• 50:39
  Speaker 4: the women that got four kids. She won't get the
• 50:41
  Speaker 4: one that got one kid.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, well, I mean, you know what did
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: you four? Four kids aren't bad. I mean, I'm just.
• 50:48
  Speaker 4: Saying that's a lot to carry.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: It depends on what when you get, though, you know
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: what I mean. It's it's I think it's more about
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: the the what single mom do you get than it
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: is about a one with four kids? Because what if
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: you what if you get the what if you get
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: the Romsdale one who just got divorced because her husband
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: cheating on her. She's getting alimony, child support, the house,
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: the suv and the four kids. I saw three of
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: them this morning.
• 51:17
  Speaker 6: Oh man, I need to take you round.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: They're they're all at the gym right now, trying to
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: get their body back so they can get you.
• 51:31
  Speaker 4: Mom.
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: They do they do for you, almost like you.
• 51:34
  Speaker 4: Wanted the kids too.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 51:35
  Speaker 4: They feeds you, yeah, clothes, you know what I mean.
• 51:37
  Speaker 4: Make sure everything is the way it needs to be.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: Ain't wrong with it, but that's what I know. We're
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: joking about it. But that is why you got to
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: get the one that knew she she was young, made
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: a mistake, not a mistake to have the kid, but
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: with the wrong guy, and now she's working her ass
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: off to make sure that everybody's provided for. That's the
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: one you really want to get.
• 51:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, make sure it's not the one that has too
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: crazy guys still trying to two different baby daddy going on.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want to. You don't want the single
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: mom and multiple baby daddy.
• 52:11
  Speaker 5: You don't want that.
• 52:13
  Speaker 4: So if they all have the kids by the same dad,
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: then well that changed.
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: That changes the parameters. I mean, you got there's so
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: many It's just there's so many things you got to
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: think about when it comes to the single mom. That's
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: why always say the best one is the one who
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: knows that she chose the wrong man young, and now
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: she's working her ass off to make sure they're provided for.
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: That's the one you want.
• 52:33
  Speaker 4: Man, that half a semester in Colline really helps you.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: That was asking me. Apparently he met a single mom.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: He's kind of questioning whether he should go out, whether
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: her or not, and you should because there are different
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: versions of they're they're not all created equal. There you
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: you have a few different versions of single moms. Okay,
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: the one that you want is the one who knows
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: she had a baby young with the wrong guy and
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: she's working her butt off to make sure that her
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: and her child are taken care of and she's trying
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: to give everything, uh, make sure her child has everything right.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: That's the single mom you want. And then if you
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: got the same energy as she does, you're gonna have
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: whatever you want from her. As long as you're a
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: good man and you know what you're working with and
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: you want to work as hard and reach the same
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: goals as she wants, She'll do whatever you want for her.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: They're the best. They're the best. That's probably the best
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: woman to date because she's already gone through a little
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: bit of you know, trials and tribulations with the baby,
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: and now she knows what she wants and what her
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: goal is in life, and normally, yeah, she'll she'll do
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: whatever you want. The other ones, you know, yeah, I
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: don't know about that. They got it just depends.
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: Already four two, five, four seven seven, what are we
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: doing here? What did he's always send me? I'm sorry,
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: somebody sent me something that had to do with I
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: guess going out drinking? All right? On the All right,
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: hey Roan, what about single dads? We're not talking about
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: single dads. What about them? Do what you're supposed to do,
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: raise your kids? What do you want me to tell you?
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: All right? He four two five, four seven seven? Single
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: moms man could be the best relationship of your life. Okay.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: I was asking me about single moms when I thought
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: about single moms, and apparently he met one. He's kind
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: of questioning whether he should date it or not. But
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: it depends on which one you got. You want the
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: one that you know knows she chose the wrong man
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: from the get go, got a kid, She working her
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: ass off to take care of that child. That's the
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: one you want. You don't want the you won't want,
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: the rosedale one in her Lululemon driving the suv whose
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: husband cheated on her, She got three kids, a house
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: in the suv because she's just looking for a guy
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: to take care of her again, you know, I mean,
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: yeah already four two, five, four or seven seven? Hey Romeo, Oh,
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to tell you about the single moms.
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: You're absolutely right. I'm a hard working guy, got a
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: good job. I met my wife when she was a
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: single mom. She knew she married the wrong guy at first,
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: she was young. They had a baby together. After they divorced.
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: I actually met her. She was working pretty hard. I
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: work real hard. Now we have a great life together.
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: She does everything rome she cooks, he cleans. We have
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: two other children now, and she takes care of all
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: of us, all of us. She's an amazing woman. Well
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: that's because, yeah, I'm right. You want to find the
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: one that's working her ass off to raise her kid.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: And as long as you're ready to work your ass off,
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: she'll do whatever you want. There you go. There's an
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: example of how it plays out. When he was asking
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: me about single moms, he texted, I guess he must
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: have met a single mom, he says, and he was
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: wondering when I thought about him. I think they could
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: be the best. It could be the best relationship in
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: your life if you find the right single mom. Single
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: moms are they're different. There's different categories of single mom.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: Really only two. Right, there's the one that's working her
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: ass off, to raise her child because she knows that's
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: who comes first. That's the one you want, because that's
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: the one that's going to when you match your energy.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: That's the one that's going to give you everything that
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: you want as well. And then there's the other group
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: that feel kind of entitled or you know, they got there.
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: They're owed that child support, they're owed that alimony, they're
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: owed that, they feel like they're owed everything. Yeah, you
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: don't want those. Those are a pain in the ass.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: Somebody did say something about what about single dads, and
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: I kind of dismissed it, but I guess I should
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: say something about that, considering Father's Days a couple of
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: weeks away, and that is this. The single dads that
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: I have met, for the most part, they feel like
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: they're owed something like they should be. They they deserve
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: more credit than they actually deserve. And I don't know
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: why that is. Maybe it's because in society we give
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: single moms so much more leeway and so much more
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: credit than we do single dads. Like you know, you
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: look at a single mom and you go, hey, well,
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: look how hard she's working, Look how she's doing it
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: all and taking care of it, and you look at
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: a single dad and they just go, well, he can
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: handle it. You know, it's kind of dismissive. You don't
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: give him the credit that you he thinks he deserves
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: because we give the credit to the single mom and
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: I and I agree with that. Come on, man, be
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: a man. You know, do what you gotta do. But
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: I will say this about not just single dads, but
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: in Bakersfield. I'm gonna tell you a great story. So
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: any man in Bakersfield that's ever walked with a stroller,
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: married or single, right with a stroller with his kid,
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: didn't have his wife with him or the baby mama
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: with him, or is legitimately a single man with his
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: kids on the weekend. I can almost one hundred percent
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: guarantee that man has been hit on by somebody. I
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: can guarantee a door has been opened for him by
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: a woman. I can guarantee that's Baker's Field. We went
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: out the other day buddy of mine. He's got a
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: six year old, a six year old little girl, and
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: he's happily married. But I was going to have I
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: was going to go stop by. I was around his house,
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: going to have a couple of beers at a restaurant
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: and I called him and I said, hey, I'm around
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: the corner. You want to come, You want to come
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: have a beer with me? He goes, well, i'm watching
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: I'm watching my daughter right now. It's just me and her.
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: But if you don't mind getting a table, yeah, we'll come.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: So we come, We go, We get a table, and
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: two waitresses hit on him because he was just a
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: dad with this little girl and we're sitting there hanging out,
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: having a good time, and two waitresses hit on it. Now,
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: he's just the regular Dudes's not like he's Bobby or anything.
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: He's just the regular looking dude, you know. And but
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: that's Bakersfield. So for you single dads, you should be uh,
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: you should be in heaven in Bakersfield. Because even dudes,
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: even married dudes with their wedding rings on, who are
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: walking around with their kids, they are they're getting hit on,
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: they're getting they're getting help like they can't handle it.
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: So I'm just saying, single dads, you should have a maid.
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: You should be pulling everything from here to Wasco and
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: back again.
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: Boy, run feet up, set it up. Man. I appreciate
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: you keeping the room. Uh okay, I'll because growing up.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: Bro, appreciate you well, thank you for calling, thank you
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: for listening.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: Man, Yeah, hell yeah bro? Take care.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: Bro all right, I have a good one. I mean, yeah, yeah,
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you guys listening for years. All right, Now
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: I have to say I'm glad he called. It must
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: be karma or something or something that he called to
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: say something nice, because now I got to answer this
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: text message eight four two five four or seven of
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: seven year rome I can't believe these people are so stupid.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: Why are they asking your opinion on anything? What the
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: hell do you really know? Well, yeah, exactly, and no
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: more than you because you're listening to me. I'm not
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: listening to you, so apparently I know more than you.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: Wordy know what's going on?
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 6: Romeo, You ain't even lyed.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 4: Single days are.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: Like a woman's dream comes I guess you could say.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: Single dads are like a woman's dream come true.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 6: Okay, we cook, we clean, we pay the bills on time,
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 6: we gotta be responsible.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 5: So it's everything that a woman's.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 6: Looking for and whether she wants to admit it or not.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 6: And uh, I know when I got cut through my kids,
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 6: I got more action than ever in my life that
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 6: short amount of time before I got tied down.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: Already four two five, four, seven to seven. Good morning, Romeo.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to disagree with you on this one.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: It's hard being with a single mom. First, the baby daddy, Uh,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: he's uh, he's good when she's single, but when she
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: sees uh, she gets a they get all dramatic, depending
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: on how old the kids are. Her making some time
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: for you is another one. You had a story, uh
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: the other day of a dude dating a single mom
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: and the baby daddy was spending the night over over
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: just a little more complicated than finding one that wanted
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: to be taken care of and the hard working ones.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: It's no, but that's why I said. I mean, you're not.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: I don't think you're really listening to what I said.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: Not all single moms are created equal. Okay. The single
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: mom that you're looking for is the one that knows
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: she chose the wrong guy, had a baby, and she
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: controls everything. She tells the baby daddy where the hell
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: to go, and she raises that kid and works her
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: ass off to raise that child. That's the one you're
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: looking for, because if you're gonna work as hard for
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: her as she's working to raise her child. She's gonna
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: do whatever you want. Now, the one you're talking about
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: is different. A lot of single moms are complicated. A
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: lot of single moms are complicated. But there are plenty
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: of the ones that I'm talking about out there, and
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: those are the ones you want because they they have
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: common sense, They know what they're doing. They understand the
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: difference between, you know, struggling and being taken care of.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: They got it together. You know the ones you're talking about. Yeah,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: you don't want one of those. So you can disagree
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: with me, but I'm right about what I'm saying to you.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: You have to choose the right single mom already four two, five,
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: four or seven to seven. Hey, Rome, I got to
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: tell you something about listening to you. I've been listening
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: to you for a long time, about ten years now,
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: and I think your show is great. So don't let
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: nobody tell you anything different. It doesn't offend me by
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: the way you guys say. When you guys say I soccer,
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: you don't like me, it doesn't offend me. I don't
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: give a damn you know anyway it says Rome. So
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: our son graduated last week from high school. My brother
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: and his wife came in. They live in Arizona. They
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: came in on Tuesday and stayed the week to visit
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: and watch our son graduate. Now, my mom, she lives
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: up north. She came down to visit as well and
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: watched her son graduate. We were listening to you in
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: the morning, and you said something about husbands and wives,
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: and my mom said, he's exactly right, that's what you do,
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: referring to my brother and his wife. They ended up
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: getting in an argument, and my mom just thought it
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: was the funniest thing. Now, Romeo, my mom is seventy
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: two years old, and she listened to you all week
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: long Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday while she was in town.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: She got up in the morning to drink her coffee
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: and listen to you, and she said, this guy is crazy.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: I can't believe he says that. And she would just
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: laugh and think it was hilarious. Well, how did your
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: brother and his wife about what I said on the radio?
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: Did they get up every morning to listen out of
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: that workout? That's great. I appreciate the phone call. That's
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: that's yeah, that happens, man, I mean, that's what it
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: is is what it did. Oh. The guy who texted
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: and said, I guess his family was in from out
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: of town last week for his kids graduation, said, I
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: guess his brother and brother and his wife. Brother's wife
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: live in Arizona. His mom lives up north. Apparently the
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: mom I said something on the radio. They were listening,
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: he says. He said, I said something on the radio
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: and they were Apparently the mom thought it was funny
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: and caused an argument between the brother and the wife. So,
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I said. It was last week.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: I couldn't remember right, and he was so the guy's
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: telling me that his mom got up and listened every
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: morning because she thought it was funny. And I asked
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: if the brother what the brother and wife's thought. He said,
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: the brother and wife rome didn't like you at all.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: They thought that they couldn't believe that you're on the radio. Well,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: I'm not everybody's cup of tea. I don't care Romeo
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 7: In the morning every morning morning ninety four point one