Latest / Surviving-ISH Podcast / Embracing Authenticity: That_Nurse_Missy's Journey to TikTok Fame and the Power of Vulnerability

Transcript

Embracing Authenticity: That_Nurse_Missy's Journey to TikTok Fame and the Power of Vulnerability · Surviving-ISH Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Let me preface with saying that I don't want to ever forget this moment.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: I wrote down a script because I don't want to leave anything out, so if you see me looking down, i'm probably reading from my phone.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: As victims, we always have the mindset of when is the other shoe going to drop, that when something good happens, there's a voice in the back of our minds telling us that the good won't last for long because we don't deserve it.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: But sometimes there's a voice speaking louder than the negative thoughts, simply saying hey, friend, do you ever have those moments in life that remind you that what you're doing and the track that you're on is right?
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Well, today is one of those days for me.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: So bear with me because I want to remember this moment through all of my failures and, most importantly, through all of my successes.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: I will not be editing this intro.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Today is one of those days that I want to accept my emotions and feel that I'm accepted, flaws in all.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: I started this podcast as a victim and with a victim mindset, but all of you listening and because of all of you listening, i grew.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I faced challenges, i found courage and confidence and I've never had that before When I joined TikTok, the very first video that I saw was a person that captured me.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: From the very first second I saw her, her voice, her presence, everything about her made me feel at home.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I became a fan and a light and I followed and I shared and I did all the things that someone can do to support someone else's platform.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Finally, one day I got the courage to email this person, afraid of rejection but also accepting the fact that sometimes people are just busy and silence sometimes isn't rejection at all.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: But I emailed her and she responded.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I died and today I'm on Zoom with someone that has changed me before she even knew I existed.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: She is the full definition of power presence.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: A part of me wants to apologize for the long intro, but the true part of me doesn't.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: It's important for me to show that showing emotion isn't a weakness and celebrating happiness isn't selfish.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: I have a feeling that when today's guest speaks, odds are more than five million people will know exactly who she is.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, speak.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Hi buddy.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Hi Gosh messing up my spray tan before even getting started.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Well, i need the mascara.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: I don't even know why I put it on some days.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: I really don't Thank you.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: That's beautiful, you know.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: You just never know.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: And that's what's been really beautiful about this TikTok journey, this social media journey, is just the power that we have to lift others or put others down.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: I mean, the power of life and death is in the tongue and we've always done that.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: But man, just to see it in real time, it's just been, it's all inspiring and it's humbling And it's just, you know.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: You know it's good to remember how powerful, how much power words hold Yeah, especially people who don't look.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I started out with you know 10 and 100.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: And the thing is, i speak to people today the same as I did when it was 100, when it was a thousand, because a heart is a heart, a soul is a soul, a mind is a mind.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: So, whether it's 10 or 10,000, you just never know what's going to land for somebody At that.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: You just don't know.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: And that's why it's so important.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: You just said I want to speak from my true self, and I think that's been, that's been one of my believe it or not, one of my not struggle, but something that I've had had to overcome, even just today, david, of just going okay, well, am I going to speak from my true self today, or am I going to stay small?
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Am I going to stay in the box that's comfortable, that other people like?
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: are I going to be bold and give that message that I know was to finally inspire?
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: That I know, you know.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Am I going to live from my true self today?
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: Am I going to be authentic?
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Am I going to be vulnerable And that, and when we show up, as that it inspires other people to do it, and you just never know when that is the message that somebody needed to hear at that time to save a life, literally, and not even to be dramatic, but literally, and things like that just make me go well, life is amazing.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: When you just show up in your truth, just show up in your truth, magic happens.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: So thank you for having me today.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh No.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: I'm so excited to make magic with you today.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I know, i know, like we talked so much off record, i was like gosh, she's going to be so sick of me before we record.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: And then we became best friends, so And off.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: But to show respect and for anyone who is part of the 5 million that wouldn't know if you're part of TikTok, we know this lady as that nurse Missy.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Her name is Missy.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Her name is that nurse, missy.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: She oh my gosh, like having you here because I'm 100% telling the truth and and all of that I poured out.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: You were literally, literally the first person I saw on TikTok when I started it, and the reason I started it was because I was hanging out with my brother's kids, my nephews, who were so freaking amazing.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: But there you go And I mean this is about Facebook and they're like, well, we don't have Facebook, like I think that's where, like, the older people go.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my God, like I'm now the older, and they're like it's TikTok now you know and Right.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I was like well, okay, fine, but like literally, like I logged in and and I saw you and it was one of your phone calls to Jesus.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: Wow, oh my gosh.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: So I have so many questions and we're going to be at the point in conversation where we're going to be jumping all over the place, right Yeah.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: So I guess, like, i guess, what I would like to start is what got you into TikTok?
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And did you have a plan of I'm a creator, i'm an influencer, i'm gonna make this happen?
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Or did you just wake up one day and was like, oh God, what have I done?
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Completely accidental.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: So my goddaughter, who at the time was 13, she was on TikTok.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: This was the beginning of the pandemic.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: I got an off Facebook because of just the fear mongering.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Well, i was shying away from Facebook at the time.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: I hadn't gotten off, i had not made that final deactivate.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: You know that final break up.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, right, the elders, right, right.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: So my goddaughter was doing her little dances and I was like, oh, that's cute.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: And I remember it had been musically, remember it had been musically before it was TikTok and I had done musically.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: I was like I went to download it.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, i've already downloaded it before.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, cool.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: And so I was like, okay, well, this is fun, this is a fun distraction whilst, you know, the world is burning down around us.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: And then, just after two or three weeks, I was like, well, i got the audacity to do this and I'm having a good hair day.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: So I had done a funny little voiceover thing or whatever.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: It was like making faces and the lighting was good and the hair was good.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, this is fun.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: I made my little TikTok, put it out there and, you know, got a couple of likes but I was like, oh, this is fun.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: And I found, oh my gosh, this is a great way to engage with people, because at this time I had just left my previous nursing job of like three years.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Like in November, my husband and I had gone on vacation, We'd come back.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: This was January, february, like the day we got back from our vacation was the day like they shut the airports down.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: So, honey, i was just in the house.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: I don't have kids, i got dogs, i had the husband, and so I was just like housewifing it up to four, seven, three, six, five.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: So I had a lot of free time on my hands.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: You know, read a book, you set it down.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: So, again, tiktok was just a great way to distract with entertainment that had nothing to do with COVID, and so I'd make another little funny video and hear it sound that I like.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, this is just a great way to interact with people.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: People would comment You know, it's like a little chat room almost.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: You're like, oh my gosh, i can just connect with people and I'm a people person And I feel fullest when I'm just engaging with people, even on a silly level.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: And after a couple of weeks of that I went back to work to the clinic dogs, i was like you know what, as a nurse, i gotta be back out there in the workforce.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: You know I can't just be sitting here on the couch while my sister, brothers and sisters are out there.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: You know, working during COVID, i've always had a very personal relationship with Jesus.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: In my baby book my mom kept a very detailed baby book And in my baby book at two year mark my mom has written Melissa won't stop talking about God and Jesus.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Jesus has always been my best friend, and that's just on period, and especially during nursing, paul and Jesus did it all.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Right, jesus, we're going in, like it helped me out.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: So I was driving to work one morning, just happy to be out of the house, david, like, just happy to be out of the house, got my music blaring like some gangster rap, honey, and I'm just like I had stopped at Duncan's, like thought it was open, a little coffee, because like Starbucks wasn't even open, like this was, like this was, you know, front line, or like, oh, like this was when pandemic, like nobody could be out of the house, crazy.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: So I'm driving to work and I'm just so happy I'm singing, i'm talking to Jesus.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: He's always run shotgun And I mean, he wants to take the wheel and I'm like, you don't have a license, you have to sit at the passenger side.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: And I'm just like driving And I'm laughing and I'm so full of joy And I had this moment where I go, man, there are people who couldn't even, can't even go to work if they want to, because, like it was only first line, like only like mandatory personnel.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh man, i was like and then other people who were working in the hospital my husband was one working in the hospital.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: I was like I know there are people driving to work that are not as happy as I am.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: And I said, jesus, what can I do about that?
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: How can I help?
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: What can I do?
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: And he said, well, what can you do?
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: I was like, well, man, i'm asking you.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: He's like I'm asking you, what can you do.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, i know I'm gonna get ticked off, i'll tell him I was talking to people and tell him say something.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: So, since I pulled up to work, but my little camera, my little phone and my little pop socket mount and I turned the thing on and I'm like, hey, friend, you know, whatever's going on today, don't you worry about like we run this and we get to decide what kind of thing we have to do.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: So much fear coming in.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: People were just giving into the fear And I was like man, where's the hope?
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: And I was like you know what?
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: We run this.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: We make this life what we want.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: Go out there and make today your bitch and I'll see you later.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Close it out, upload it.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: I go in and I start, you know, unlock the door, turn off the alarm, whatever.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: An hour later, whatever, check the phone and honey, like it didn't go viral, but like it was getting like thousands of like, views and likes.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my God, it resonated.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, people are responding.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: And I was looking at the comments and we were like, oh my God, i needed this.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: And I was like really.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: And they were like oh my God, this is what I needed to hear.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Everything's so, so bleak and everything's so dark.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: And I was just like, oh my goodness, oh my goodness.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my God, we did, we did, and he was like and so it just took off from there when I realized, oh my gosh, people.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: It's, you know, because I don't.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I haven't think about toxic positivity.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: I hate toxic positivity And I never want to be that person, cause I was very real.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I was like, look, shit's kind of getting real out there, but like we can still have the day that we want to have.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: And people like it landed.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: If you were like yes, it's not like okay, yes, like y'all want you like that, you want some more of that.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I got some more for you tomorrow.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Same thing grab a new word, taste a rat coffee, pull up, you know, jesus, pull up, make another TikTok.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: People are like hell, yeah, this is what we needed.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Because I was looking around David and there was all this fear of mongering.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: We had to look.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Shit was bleak.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: We didn't know what COVID was, but we knew it was spreading fast.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: We were not prepared.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: That was real shit And I was always like, look, it's real out here.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: But also, in addition to what is also true is we still have hope And we can still be mindful of our, our, our presence and our attitude, you know.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: So I just was looking around and could not find the hope, like everybody.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Just it, just everything went down so quickly.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I was like man, where's the faith?
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Where's the?
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: where's the?
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: if you keep this, have faith, hope and joy.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: On the on the sunny days, it's like it went cloudy and it went cloudy fast and everything went dark And I was not seeing hope And Jesus was like what you gonna do?
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: I was like, well, i guess, tag on me.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: And I guess it was like honestly, honey, that's just kind of how it took off.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: I remember when we reached a hundred thousand viewer followers and I said Beth did it.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: We'll never get like.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: This has been a fluke, and this is this.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: Is it Like that's?
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: I've had about 15 minutes.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Like that's it.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: Like thank you, we did great God, you did a real.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: That was Jesus.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: We did some good work And then here we are, three years later.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: So I've never in a million years thought that I would resonate with people, that people would want to hear our care, our think, or put stock into what I have to say in that way.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: So it was all absolutely.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: It was accidental in the way that I never anticipated this, but everything was always intentional.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: Let me show up as hope.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: How can I inspire?
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: How can I empower?
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: How can I show up as the medicine that's needed in the world?
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: How can I be the change that I want to see?
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: So that was always the intention.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: The intention was never let me have a million followers, let me have merch, let me have this.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what influence.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: I wasn't even I'm really not a big fan of YouTube, like.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: So I never really even understood the whole influencer thing, let alone thought I could even.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: But again, i never had the intention of being in it.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: I will call myself a hope influencer, love influencer.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: That was my only intention was just to give somebody hope and the help somebody hang on another day, just be like give it another chance.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Well, you know what I mean.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Like, just give it one more chance.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: You know like just wait, just just, i know you don't know me, but you just wait one day, just give it a chance.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: My partner.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: We are about to celebrate our fifth year together.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: He is the most amazing, the sweetest, cutest, like you know.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: When you see people and you're like, okay, they're an old soul, like they've been here before.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: And you see people and you're like, okay, they're brand new.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Cody and my partner is brand new.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: Oh my love.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he is a travel nurse.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Luckily, he's home every night, but he works at different hospital every day.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: He's a brilliantly amazing at what he does.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: He's just so like he walks in the room and you already feel better.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: Oh God, that's a healer.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: That's a healer.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: That's at his core.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a healer.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Just your energy, just the presence, just by being.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Absolutely Yeah but my husband was going into the hospital every day.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: That was the same thing, like here I am, and he was being now, he was being exposed.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Sure, sure.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: I mean I'm a gay man, right.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: So immediately people are taught to out gate AIDS.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: You know, when AIDS almost isn't even I mean it's still a thing but because of medication, you know if you're with the right person it's not that death sentence anymore.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: But when you're turned on the news and you're hearing COVID being compared to AIDS and that and how people were like I don't want to be around, that I'm not touching you.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like that's terrifying, exactly That.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: So I grew up.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: So when I grew up with Ron White, that was OK.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: So those images and my mother, god lover, god, rest her soul she would let me have every people magazine every, because you know people was covering that heavy back then And she would let me have every people magazine, let me watch every, everything on the news that I had to do with Ron White.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: So we followed that story from beginning all the way through to Michael Jackson, elizabeth Taylor, princess Diana, and so I got to see Princess Diana, mother Teresa, in those, you know, in those really desolate places that nobody wanted to go in.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: And here were these women and say what you want.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: I know there's a lot of speculation about Mother Teresa now that she's passed about.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Was she really a woman of God?
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Say what you want.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: As a woman, as a nurse, seeing her and Princess Diana not anybody else, by the way, not who I was seeing in the news going to those places and literally sit on the bed with patients that were actively dying of AIDS, who had open wounds, who were just in, not even in hospitals OK, they were just wherever.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: And to see these women, not in PPE, just go, sit down and hug and love.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: They brought, they showed up this compassion And that's what program.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: That was the programming I had And I said I want to do that.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: God, send me.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Send me that, because just seeing the interaction, not just on the patient's face but on Diana's face, and seeing that human connection and seeing her sit with him out of not as a princess, not as royalty, not as above, but as equals, equal hearts, souls, compassion, oh my God, look at that, look at that.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: So that has always been so.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Yes, when COVID showed up and the way people were acting, i said, my God, they're acting a fool.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Just like they did in the 80.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Just like they did because what was significant about Ron White was OK, you can't hate him because he's a, he's just a little boy, but what y'all going to do now?
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: still was scared, still out.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: But how they treated is like, wow, y'all really wild.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: So to see that that behavior and that mindset show up again, i was like God, i'm kidding me.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: And I did a nurse video about one of my patients who had been diagnosed with AIDS And I'd always kept that story very close to my heart And I was inspired to share that story with people And it did resonate.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: But, yeah, really wild how people.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: It was just a fear of sentencing.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: And there's two you can have fear or you can have love, which can't have both at the same time, and you have to choose And that fear will just suck you in.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: It's like a tornado, it just pulls everybody in.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: But there's got to be, you've got to have that anchor of hope, you've got to have that lighthouse.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: And that's what I tried to be, even for just one minute, because back then you couldn't do a three minute video in the early days on TikTok.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: So if I could just do 60 seconds of being a lighthouse, maybe that'll just keep somebody going, maybe things aren't so horrible.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: And then I know I'm not going to change the world in 60 seconds.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: But, lord, if I can just shine a little, just a little flicker, lord, give me a little flashlight, just a little flashlight, lord, a little lighter, and just shine it on somebody and make them go.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: You know what, ok, there is still a light.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: Ok, let's still, let's not get crazy Like, ok, let's not be just totally sucked in by the fear.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: But, yeah, same mindset and everything when it came, yeah, it was like me and my husband talked about that.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh God, here, look at them, let them go.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, You know when you have those moments and I know that you've had them and what I did is actually really changing people And I've got a gift, I've got a platform, I've got something.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: OK, the one that stands out to me right now are the emails that I get from people telling me how many days recovery they have.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: I did a video a couple of years ago.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: I was inspired to do these.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: They're called friend videos And it's literally a one and done.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: It's just divine inspiration.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: I make the video, i put it out And I hope it does well, but I just do what I'm.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: So I'm in the pantry and I'm pulling out the and I say, hey, fran.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: So Fran, what are you doing in here?
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: And I'm pulling out the liquor and the food.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: I'm like, baby, what you're looking for in here?
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: You're not going to find what you're looking for in here, and the response from that was overwhelming, just overwhelming.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: And I still stay in touch with some of the people that are in recovery from that video.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: It's hard for me to take any kind of credit, because I never want somebody to, because people will say, because of you I got sober And I know what they're saying and I'm so grateful that my video was a thing that prompted their healing.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: But what I have found when working with people who are trying to find empowerment that have been victims, if you keep laying your healing at the feet of others is that's still giving your power away.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: So, while I can appreciate the impact and the influence and the bearing that that video had on their life, i never want somebody to say it's because of you, know, you did it.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: You make a choice every day to not drink.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: So you, baby, i'm sitting over here with my dogs or I'm sitting over here, you know, working all.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: You're making the choice and that's on you, baby.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: So I never want to take somebody's power.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I never want somebody to give my power away like that.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: So, while I appreciate and say thank you and I say thank you and But those stick out to me the most right now, in this moment.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: And then also people.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: I've done several videos helping people, you know, trying to help people, encourage people not to, you know, unalive themselves.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: And people have messaged and saying you know, i found this video.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: You know I was like God, if I'm meant to still be here, show me something.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: You know they have God for a son.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: So again, i can be very grateful that I got to be a part of someone's story, you know.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: But I can never take credit for those things in that way, even though I'm.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Again, i'm never going to mince words because I know what they're saying, but I always want anybody who's ever felt like a victim To know that it was always your choice to be well, to heal, and that's because I'm also an empowerment coach.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: I'm a sole coach, so I always want people to know that the power is always yours.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: Now, we're never going to have the toxic positivity and say, oh, we're going to turn that frown upside down.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, we're going to find purpose in that pain.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: However, but if you can get to that moment where you say, yes, this happened to me, this is a part of my story, but it does not define me, that's one of my biggest shift happened in my life When I went from being the victim being all.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: This always happens to me.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: I'm always the one that this happens to.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: I'm always this.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: And when I said, you know, but at some point I'm playing my part in this, what's my part?
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: And when I tell you, david, the world did a 180 and God said now you're talking.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: And I was like it was my part in this, of my part in this.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: Now, not when I looked at my like, my relationships, not any kind of abuse, but in my relation, by choosing to be with people that were staying, with people that were abusive.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: So when I started, okay, well, how can I take this situation and and say, yes, you know what?
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: this did happen, this abuse did happen, this act did happen, am I?
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: but am I going to let it define me?
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: Am I going to let that just be my story?
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: I did my story in there, and the way I take my power back every day, the way I stand in my power every day and just shot a big old mental finger to all of that is by teaching other people how to be a victor, not a victim.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: How to turn your purpose, how to turn your pain into purpose.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: Man, that's, that's everything.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, reminding people that they're still writing their story.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: It's not over.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: It ain't over and I know, unless you choose it to be because again, that's the power of choice Your story absolutely did in there, if you choose it to.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: But you are a testimony, I'm the fact that I get to stand here in my power and encourage people.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: And you know, 20 years ago I was on the other end.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: I was the one who didn't see the light.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: I was the one who, you know, only knew fear and anger and patterns and toxicity.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: So I've been on that side.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: You know I've been on that side, but it was a choice, It was my choice.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Other people shine their light.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: The lighthouses were there, But the thing about a lighthouse is the lighthouse is firm, It is firmly rooted in place.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Lighthouse can't go out into the ocean and grab people And the lighthouse were to go into the ocean to fall apart.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: But all I can do is stand there and shine the light and hope and shine the way home And hope that the ships come home and not all of them wheel, And some of them are out there flailing, but again, you just shine the light.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: So I did have lighthouses, but it was always my choice to heal and to be well And so, but yeah, the people in recovery and the people that are still alive when they had a plan.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Those stick out the most to me right now.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: David, It is pretty cool that I that when they look back on their story, and, Bernie, that I get to be a little part of that.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: That's, that's.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: That's pretty cool, That's pretty cool.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, No, that's amazing.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: And so.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: So, as a victim who have reached out to people on the platforms and said you know, use those words of you have saved me.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: You have done this, You're 100% right.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: It's sometimes it's it's us just wanting to I don't know those impactful statements for you to realize the role you played in Right, But, but.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: But at the same time, to your point as well, we have to give credit where credit is due, And and I was just a, just a, just a little bump, just a little nudge in it, And and so so.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: That's what I like to remind people when they've messaged me and my, my TikTok platform isn't huge.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: It took me a little while to figure out TikTok.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: I'm slowly starting to get there, but they hated me for the longest time because of the topics I talked about Man.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: no, it is a fickle creature.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: Well, because I didn't want to put.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: I named my show surviving abuse And I know that that is a harsh thing that people might not want on their shirt or on their shirts or whatever.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: But I was like we are going to talk about the topics that are hard.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: We are going to normalize the bullshit, we are going to normalize the hard things and and bring awareness to it.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: You know, but?
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: and?
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: so then, when I got on TikTok and they wanted me to use the dollar sign for the S, i was like nope, that's making a line of something and I'm not doing it.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: You know, like, and so so I thought it and thought it and thought it Right, but either way.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: But but you know one thing I tell people, you know, remind people.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: When they messaged me and they say you saved my life, you were a part, you know, i let them know that all I did was remind you how strong you are.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: You did this.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: I just supported you and loved you through that.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Absolutely, absolutely, yeah, yeah, no, i appreciate all the people that do reach out and let me know when it impact I have.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, it's, it's a you know when, when, when things first started, when things were taken off and like they weren't slowing down, i let my husband know.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: I was like honey, you know, this is pretty, this is kind of a thing happening over here And you know, people are like, well, merch and stuff, like they're asking me for t-shirts.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: And my husband, he was very grounded, very centered, very much my like, he is my, he balances me out And I'll never forget he's very reasonable, logical man.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: He supports everything I do because he knows how much I love people and how much I want to just help people.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: So he never worries like, oh God, are you going to?
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: but I said you know, honey, this is taking all people are more and more and like this is a thing Like they left my face on a t-shirt.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Right, right, and he said he said how are you going to stay grounded through all this?
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: And that was a great question.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, it was a great question And it's what I still do.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: You know, when people, i don't let anything go to my head because look, here's the other thing.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: As you know, this came, you know again, we're three years into it now.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: So it wasn't like, oh, it was an overnight success, i mean, you know, but just, you know some of the things easily as it came.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: But it can be gone tomorrow.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: The platform, like you know how TikTok is, and there have been those scares where it's like, oh, it's TikTok going to be banned because I don't have my YouTube up and running.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, i'm on Instagram but otherwise, so this is my main platform.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: So I'm not going to get this isn't going to be my identity, because it could be gone, like that, i could get banned, i could get anything to happen.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: So I say, real grounded in just showing up every day, is the like how it's showing up every day?
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: is medicine showing up every day?
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: And my personal, you know, as as a sole coach, as a nurse, and so I've also just stayed grounded in that and stayed humble in that and not let myself get attached to all of that, because if I lose it, well then I'm going to have an identity crisis Like who am I?
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, now that I've lost it.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: It's like, no, i can't attach that.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: What I'm attached to is the message I'm attached to, the purpose I'm.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: I'm attached to what gives my life meaning, and that's the helping people and seeing people do well.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Seeing people my, my medicine, my hit is seeing people go.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, i never thought about it like that.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, that changes everything.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: It's like, yes, yes, that moment, that aha moment, like that's my stuff, like that's my jam, and so, whatever way I can do that, that's, that's it, right there, you know.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, so.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: so that leads me to a next thing that I wanted to talk about.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Like, i have watched and hearted every single episode or every single video that you have, but what I love is each one is different, and but you were so sane, you know what I mean, like you never lose yourself in it, and, and what I mean by that is Man, thank you so much.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I, yeah, yeah, and, and what meant the world to me is when I I started watching TikTok and what you like, you truly were the first, and your phone call to Jesus was one of the things that that you did, and but what was so weird to me is I didn't take it as in this biblical message you were trying to pursue or or pass off or shove down someone's throat.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: You know, like I didn't take it like that, like I, because I I loved Jesus for a long time and invited Jesus and God into my life for the longest time.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: I got a little bitter when, when my trauma happened, i was like, okay, god, you gave me choice and I chose you, and where were you when I needed you?
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: You know, luckily, regardless of where I stay with my religion and stuff now, people with their path or finding their things, god knows my heart, but one thing that sticks with me is God is a big creation and he or she, or they, or whatever you want to call them, can handle my temper tantrums Right When I, when I'm in a mass, they know my heart right, and.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: But when I was watching TikTok, it seemed like it was from one extreme to the next.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: It was like you've got to believe this or you're wrong.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: And but you were not like that, like you brought this fun Jesus character to life, this heaven to life that I wanted to be a part of.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: There was finally a Jesus that I wanted to know, because the other ones scared me from them.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: I wanted.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: There's no way Jesus does not have a sense of humor.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: There is no way that Jesus cannot look down and be like David.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: Do you do?
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: you do you just did that?
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: There's no way.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: And you bring that to life.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: The thought of Jesus or Mary, when you called Mary, are you kidding?
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: Like like talking about, are you kidding me?
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: Like the thought of them, like rushing to the phone, it's like it's already ranked three times.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: Who's going to get it.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: And finally, it's like you know, like you, bringing them to life in that way and making them more realistic than the Bible has ever done or this white Christian man with an agenda has ever done Is brilliant.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: I know I'll go off on these tangents and I'm sorry because it's not about me talking and praising you.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: It's beautiful, i know, but you're.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: what you're having to say is your perspective is stunning.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: I want to hear it.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so when I was the other videos like you have in, and I wrote down a list.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Here you have your calls to God.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: You have the moments that you talk about how God inspired you, how God has influenced you, what your prayer did for you, you have never, not one time, said and listen, friend, if you want what I've got, then you've got to do this.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: You said here's my way, here's what's working for me.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: If you take something from it, great, i'm going to share it with you.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: And if it works for you, fine, great, i love that.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: You know like that's brilliantly done.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: That, to me, is what God or Jesus or religion should be, and so thank you for that.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: You talk about your nursing.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: You were fun, you've got.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: You were so damn funny.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: You and the higher the hair like you are stunningly gorgeous.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: So even if you're flippin through, i'm like, oh, this girl's pretty.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: And then you've got your funny too.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Like, are you kidding me?
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Like you are a package.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, you're so sweet.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: But in your ally ship.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: you had recently posted a video of talking about target And the ally ships and what ally means, and you said it sucks when people are being threatened, but that's what people like me.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: I give myself a pet talk every day when I leave my house.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: that today might be the day your face with God.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: today might be the day that someone hates you so much that you're done I.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: my biggest fear is I leave my house and I make sure that every camera is on.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: I make sure everything is working because my partner works.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: thirds, my biggest fear is someone stealing his innocence, someone stealing his joy.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: That is my biggest fear.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: And for you to even say and to see that there's 586 million people lacking it, you know you're touching people And when you're telling people that, you call yourself an ally.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: but are you?
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: If you're backing away, if you're voting against, then are you really an ally?
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you for that.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: Well, you're welcome.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: I said that I made that video.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: I was very passionate And I didn't take it down.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: I wish I had been a little bit more articulate with what I was trying to say, because as much love as I got, i got that much hate or, which is fine, everybody's.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: Look, it's a triggering.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: It's a triggering conversation And I don't make videos like that very often, where I'm just coming out of my neck with it.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: But I was like, because it sounded like, even though I meant to say I'm not, don't think anybody should be threatened at their workplace, period, full fucking stop.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: Nobody should be threatened at their workplace.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: I thought, well, as, oh, you were threatened at work.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: Can you imagine what it's like to actually be gay in this America and this world?
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Like, oh, imagine you're threatened at your job.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: They're just threatened.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: That was my thought And that was what just came out And it was not articulate, it sounded insensitive, so I didn't take it that way.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: Well, see, of course there were a lot of people who were, and even people who said they weren't a target, And again, they didn't hear.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: They heard through their.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: They were trying.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: So I'm glad you got most of the message.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: And again, my I was just.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: I was in awe that such a big corporation would.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: because what I said was you know, we don't, we don't wobble, we stand like when you're an ally.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: You either, you stand like, you don't wobble ever.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: And I grabbed a T-shirt, one of my ally shirts.
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: I was like Missy, i ain't pulling her merch, by the way, she ain't pulling her out.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: I should like I was.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: I know better than to make videos when I'm triggered.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: And then I made a follow up.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: So I'm you know what the point that out there, like it is what is like.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: I didn't take it down.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that really shook me.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: They, they.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: When it said, oh, they pulled their merch because you know, you know their, their workers were threatened Like, oh, imagine that, imagine that.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, people were like.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: And then again and I try not to argue with strangers from the internet and the comments, but I'm like, we wear these clothing to show support.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: So when they see us out, if you're in the LGBT, you say, oh, jesus, say, say that's when we put the phone first, they're going to the car, they go, oh, there, it's safe And they will know hey, i see you, we're here, we're, we're providing the support of community.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: And again, i should have articulated better.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: It didn't land well with a lot of people and that's fine.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not perfect, i want to go back and speak to what you were saying first.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: I want your words, the way you articulate, is just beautiful and just really land on my heart.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: What you said about the calls, because that's all I've ever wanted to do with the videos.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: It's just show my relationship with Jesus, with God, with Mother Mary.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: It's just show my relationship because, while you're coming from the LGBTQ community, i'm coming from the community that says Eve is the root of all evil.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: I was raised in a church that taught us that it was Eve's fault.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: Eve's the reason why.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: It's all your ladies, it's all your fault.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: I grew up with that.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: So I grew up with what I call the Eve wound And this is something I teach about in my classes and my soul coaching and a lot of women.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: we carry this Eve wound And a lot of women don't even know where it comes from.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: But it's just this societal, this, just in the collective, it says all women are the root of it.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: You ate the apple.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: If you just had to ate the apple.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: And now, here we are, all these millennia later, you know, put in punish for that sin, and I could not reckon.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: Some Thank God and Jesus that I knew loved me.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: How can I be created in that image and be scored?
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: It could not make sense to me, and so I have reconciled with what I've been taught in the Bible, taught in church, with other avenues through which I've learned, and just been sat in meditation, sat in prayer, sat in frustration, argued with God why'd you let this happen to me?
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: If you loved me, how could you?
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: I'm your daughter.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: How could you do this to me?
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: You know, and sat in those moments and had those conversations with God.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: Where were you, he says my love?
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: I was with you the whole time.
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: You were never alone And you were not promised an easy life And this story of God's going to protect you from everything.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: That just wasn't true.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: It was just another story.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: But come to know me outside of the stories and outside of the books and know me for yourself.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: I mean your heart.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: You're from me.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: How could you ever be apart from me?
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: And it's in those moments and those moments, david, where I got to know God outside of what I had been taught.
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: It was in those dark moments.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: It was in the bathroom, on the floor, crying, shaking.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: Where were you?
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: How could you let this happen?
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Why me?
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: And when I let him speak, instead of just talking to him and yelling at him and giving him that space to speak, tell me, you won't understand now what I'm doing, but if you keep your eyes fixed on me, this pain, oh this pain, will be the platform of your purpose.
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: And seeing his promise come true.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: Seeing it, i'm living it Every day.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: I wake up and I get to speak to people if I choose to.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: I get to share my story and my hope and I get to reflect his light if I choose to, and so I get to live it, yeah.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: You know it's.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: I see people like you, i meet people like you and I'm like you.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: Know if so many Christians or believers or followers or whatever title you want to put to it if they would just go about it like you do, then I probably wouldn't have been as lost as I have been or as doubting as I have been or so many others.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: Because one thing that was really interesting that I found is when I was mad at God, when I hated it, i was mad.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: I didn't doubt his existence.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, i wasn't like he's not real, i was just pissed off at him.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: I didn't like him, and that was such a big realization to me of so many people are like, well, either you believe or you don't believe, right, and I was like no, he's there, i just don't like it, and I've never heard anyone say that before.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: So that was weird to me, but it also proved a lot to me.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, i could.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: I could go on for days about religion and yeah and the boss.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: You know it's just.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: Humans have this way of wanting to put everything in boxes because it makes us feel safe.
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: Well, you're a bad person and bad things happen to you because you're gay.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: That keeps me sane.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Well you're, you know less than because you're a woman and you bake a apple.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: So that makes you the problem.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: So we got to keep you suppressed.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: That keeps this person safe.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: We're just checking the boxes And Plato said the unexamined life is not worth living.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: If we do not examine our life, our thoughts, our patterns, our beliefs, then we're just repeating patterns.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: We're going about our life not even thinking.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: You don't even know why you hate women.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: You just it's what you were taught.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: You don't even know why you hate people.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: If you could give me a reason why, i might be like you're right, you're not right.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: You know you got to, but people are just going around checking the boxes and you can get keeps them safe.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: So it's all fear based.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: But you have to have a level of self awareness.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: You have to be willing to see that ego brain for what it is And a lot of people will just not go very deep within themselves.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: They won't go very deep in life.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: So, again, just like anything gay people, whatever, we can hate people for any reason, we'll find a reason to hate people Because, again, that's fear based.
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: So same thing with God.
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: We like to keep God in a very specific box.
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: God is good, god does this, and God punishes or he destroys.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: It's like, you know, people just like keep God in that box because it feels safe, because if he's big and expansive and beyond anything, we really think and this is how you know humans.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: Okay, because the thing that our little human brain and even can see, you know, yes, of us as humans to even think for a second that we can even get That, we can even conceive God and the audacity beyond anything that are wildest dreams and imaginations, and all you have to do is even look at the stars and look at the aurora and look at the weather.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: All you have to do is just look around and say, my God, this is beyond anything I can comprehend.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: But at some point we decided that we were promised a life of goodness and bad things that would never happen.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: And so then, when the bad things happen, who are going to be able to be mad at our parents?
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: we can't be mad at the warrior.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: God, you want you to let this happen.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: Well, why not?
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: And why not?
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: You were not promised a life of ease.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: We were not promised a life of no disease and no like.
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: That was just not.
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: But yet we're like.
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: But I signed the contract, but where does it say show me in the final on this, as you were going to experience a life of ease and nothing bad would ever happen.
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: That's not what this human life is about.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: That would be very boring if we never had, if we just monitor one thing all the time, but when vanilla thing, and so that, and so we do get mad at because we say where were you?
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: Well, you know.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: Well, did you look for me?
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: Did you look for me?
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: Did you see me?
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: I did that video that one day of having pinned at the top of it is, and I did get that.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: Even I had no idea the impact that was going to have.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: You know, and God, did you look for me in the hard thing?
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: No, i didn't.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: I didn't even look for you there, while you're over here, in the soft places and places that look like God is in all those things.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: And again, god never said we wouldn't suffer.
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: He just said you wouldn't do it alone And there was always going to be a promise of hope and that faith and love would be the things to keep us going.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: So again it's taken me.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: It took me a long time to get there, you know, and again it took me a lot of seven deep conversations with God on my own, my mother, my mother.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: I'll never forget.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: I was about five, probably four or five years old, and my mom, she would have me in church every Sunday and on Wednesday nights.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: I love church, oh my God.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: It was a safe space, it felt good.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: I got to sing.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: Sometimes we'd have snacks, honey, i loved church And I think it like said my mom even wrote her thing and Melissa doesn't stop talking about God and Jesus.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: But I would ask so many questions because I would be listening in Sunday school, i'd be listening in church and then I would have questions And my mom was like I don't know how to answer these questions.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, where did Adam need come from?
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: Like you're telling me there, like it just popped up, like a little city just popped, and my mom probably brought she's like you're going to everywhere.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: She called the preacher.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: She's like you're going to have to come over here and talk to Melissa because she was asking questions that I don't know how to answer And I remember, sitting over the past, i was like, oh, these questions and where were the dinosaurs?
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: Because, it's you know, he couldn't answer me either, but they tried, they tried to show it for me, but they were like you know, we just got to believe it's all learned at an early age that nobody has all the answers, even the people who supposedly have the answers, and so that gave me kind of like, okay, well, i don't have the answers, i guess I'm going to go to the source, you know, i guess I'm going to think outside this box or this book, or you know, yeah, and so developing a personal relationship with God, with Jesus, with Mother Mary, i can't encourage it more.
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: Get to know on in your way.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: The first example if I met your boyfriend, if I met your partner I'm sorry, your partner, i would know in somebody asked me oh, so how is he?
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: I would say, oh, you know, he's this, he's that.
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: And how you describe it might be totally different on how we see him and perceive him.
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: God is the same way.
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: So my version, how I know God, our relationship, is not going to look like yours, but we're talking about the same thing.
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: You might call your partner by one name, maybe a term of endearment.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: I might call him by his government name, right, same thing with God.
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: You call him Abba.
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: Some people like it doesn't, no matter what, it's still your partner.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: We're still talking about the same doc, same thing over here.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: Still talking about the same entity energy, whatever that is like.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean, but, lord, we just get hung up on the details, don't we?
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: We'd be fixated on the wrong damn thing, ain't that just some human stuff?
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: right there, though, humans, be human, and, david, you're doing the human stuff.
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: Look, humans are human, Great, great chickens.
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: But you know, we're doing the best we can And I think most of us are doing the best we can with what we have, and some people just don't have a lot.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: You know, You know, i don't have the size of platform that you have.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: I'm getting there, i'm going to get there.
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: But one thing that I have learned, or at least acknowledged and accepted, even if it's from my own peace of mind And I would like your opinion on this because I kind of feel, through conversation, you have the same thought But, even though it sucks, even though it hurts, when we have those bare-naked truth moments And, granted, we have to understand that my response and my feeling is coming from an ally that you were speaking about, you know, and versus someone that might look at it in a different point of view When you made that video, all the things that you were hitting on, all the things that you want to say, i heard that but it's also coming from that person that feels threatened every day, you know, and so, luckily, i am mindful of that as to where some people and this is not a knock, but some people are caught up in that.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: I'm the victim in this moment.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: That's all that matters, and so I appreciate the fact that you acknowledge it.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you didn't take it down.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: I like those raw, bare moments, because that shows, because you can watch videos.
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: Sometimes We're like, okay, that was sweet, but it was calculated, you know, and this was not.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: It was look, you want 100% missing.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: You're getting it right now, you know, and but I still feel like it was respectful to everybody.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: And so one thing that I noticed that when I get responses, when they're negative, it's because I absolutely triggered them, like you mentioned.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: But what I remind myself of is they may hate me right now for triggering them, but in three years from now, two years from now, eight years from now, i'm going to get an email or something from them that says you won't remember anything about this video or this podcast episode that you did, but you said something that pissed me off and it's because you woke me.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: And and and I find peace in that.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: And so when I have those moments of 10 or 15 or 20 or whatever people saying I'm pissed at you, i don't like you, i'm like okay, i'm going to add you to the list of the people that's going to respond to me one day and say thank you.
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, and fortunately now, look, my God worked on me, slowly but surely.
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: He prepared me for this.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: He prepared me as best he could for the amount of, because you know did he told us no money, no problems right.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: No followers, no problems, Like you, just the more more hate, more love, more hate.
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: It means just balance right.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: It's the law of attraction.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: It's the law of balance right.
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: So as the as the platform grew, slowly but steadily, you know I get a little hang up.
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, oh my God, the hanging comes in at night.
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: I was like, first of all, relax, Like let's work through this.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: And so now I see it for exactly what it is, First of all.
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: First, everybody has different opinions.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: My opinion is just an opinion.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: It is not the end, all be all.
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: I do not know everything, I'm not always right And I don't have to be.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: I don't feel threatened if somebody is making me think, Oh God, maybe I'm not right.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: I know there's other concepts and things to consider and perspectives.
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: Even people from LGBTQ messaged me and said, Missy, I appreciate what you're doing, but I agree with them pulling.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: Nobody should be threatened because of practice.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: Look everybody, everybody, from all sides.
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: Add their opinion and nobody's wrong and nobody's right.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: So I, fortunately, am able to sit in that space and go okay, you're triggered or you're just, you have your opinion.
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: And so I also had to be mindful when I read comments, when I read messages, because it can land, because I am human and take it personally and take it harsh, harshly, but at the end of the day, they have their life and their perspective and their.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: I have mine over here And what I'm not going to do is let a stranger on the internet when I'm not finna do, let a random stranger on the internet who does not know me, because I can guarantee, even after watching three years of three minute videos, i can promise you only know about a quarter of who Missy is at the end of the day Right right.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: So I'm not going to let somebody's 300 character comment have any impact or bearing on my value of myself.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: Now, sometimes it does give me pause for thought and go God, i didn't think about that.
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: That's an interesting perspective.
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: Even what was really interesting where the people that now look this is what took a fantastic turn was in the follow up video that I did is the people are starting to defend the stateness And this is the kicker, david.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: Somebody said So.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: Something make their point was.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: Their point was well, if you're all inclusive, doesn't that include stateness?
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: Right, like that's their point.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: So Right, and I was like well.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: I was like well, but do you?
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: What.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: Oh shit.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: I'm not thought of that.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: First of all, I don't sit around and think about Satanist.
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: I didn't know we were still using that term.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: I just didn't even know that was a thing.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: So it was really because I was like, oh, I didn't know, these things were designed by Satanist And I can see them taking them because he was actually some Satanist.
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: And they're like, oh, so because of Satanist designed it, that we should be buying his clothes.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: And I was like now, now, see, I love.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: it was off-provoking.
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: Problem is a lot of people articulated from a triggered place And so that lands in a different way.
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: But there were a couple of people who once stood out very much and she was like Missy, i love your content, hear me out.
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, sis, what you got, yeah, she gave her a little spiel and I said I value, i appreciate your input, i see your perspective.
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: I don't have to agree.
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: But, david, it was fascinating.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: It was a fascinating conversation.
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: And then here's the thing David, they're fucking right.
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: They're fucking right Because am I gonna sit here and be all inclusive and less?
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: Am I gonna be a bigot?
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: Am I gonna be a fucking hypocrite and say, oh, i'm all accepting except right?
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: So that's why you gotta stay fucking humble.
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: They just sit down, stay humble.
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: That's why I say all day long I don't want to go to dinner and hang out and be in a room full of a hundred David's.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: How else will I learn and grow?
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: I need people that are gonna talk to me and talk with me, not to me not to me.
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: Let's have a discussion.
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: And let's learn, let's learn.
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of people come with this energy and intention of trying to convince you and change your mind.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, i would show up with an energy of here's my intention, which is to show a different perspective, shed light, shine a light, give hope, give encouragement, give a different perspective.
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: My intention not to push an agenda, convince you.
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to get you to buy something.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to get you to buy my merch, buy my things, listen to my podcast.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: I'm just showing up as missing right or wrong with her opinions, with her own stuff, and maybe it makes you think of something a different way too.
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: but I'm not always gonna get it right.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: And that's the transparency.
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: I see people, the creators, that are trying to be perfect all the time.
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: man, the higher they are, the harder they fall.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be always be transparent.
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: And, like you said, my content is all over the place.
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: You might see a video on Monday and we're laughing and we're kicking it up.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: Tuesday, i might be crying on the floor.
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: Wednesday, i might be doing an anatomy diagram.
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: Whatever it is, it's authentic.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: It's not premeditated and scripted.
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: It was a one and done.
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: We didn't do retake.
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: That and I love that, i love that.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: So, right or wrong, no, articulated or not, it is what it is, because I have no agenda That, so I don't do a retake.
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: It is what it is.
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: I said what I said and I didn't stutter And I own it, and I own it and I take accountability, right or wrong, And that's so important The fact that you will say what you believe or think.
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: And if someone says something and it makes you think of a different way I mean kind of like the Target video you don't mind to come back and say I will stop this, this was set.
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: Or maybe I didn't say this clearly or maybe I was in my feels like the fact that there's that ownership there.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you were the kind of creator that I looked for.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: If someone, when people are like I, have a platform, so I think that's to be perfect, i'm gonna spend five hours, i'm making a three minute video.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like you've lost me.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: You know, if someone is so gun-hole and I cannot say I'm wrong, i will find a way to gaslight you to think I'm right, you've lost me.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: When they're having videos, the very first video I've seen of people saying this isn't a video of a part you know part two of this that I just did because I was educated on this I'm like, okay, like I mean to that, like what did you?
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: do, yes, that vulnerability, yes, so yeah, because it's relatable.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of creators that just aren't relatable to me.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it is to wake up perfect every day.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it is to wake up and think that I'm right and everybody else is wrong.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: I just don't know, so that's not relatable to me.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it is to always be perfect Look perfect, talk perfect.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: I just don't know.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: It's not relatable.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you, Missy, it's exhausting.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: And I'm just kidding, It looks exhausting.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: I don't want it Throw the whole thing away.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: I might be a blanch when you can be a rogue, Look so okay.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: So I'm so glad that we're laughing because, even though I could say it and talk to you another 10 hours, but I truly feel like, even though we have so much fun to cover, like this is not gonna be your first learning time.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: I feel like you're kind of stuck with me now.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: And I'm like I can do it for Monday.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: It's on you all.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: See us right back here.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: I'm like perfect.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: Well, how are you like Perfect?
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: I would love sometimes to do a live with you.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: I would love that And you probably did not know logging on here Maybe you did, i don't know but that it was gonna be an emotional roller coaster And that's what I love about our show is we are just, we're high and we're low and we're all diverse.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: It's, you know, we're every bit of everybody And we laugh, we cry, and it's so amazing And I'm so glad that I got to it, because I literally was in front of my phone for an hour reading and reading and reading out loud before you logged on And I was like, if I keep reading it, i won't cry.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: I cried every part of it.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: I said I wouldn't And something I said I didn't even think I was going to.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: So but I hope you know Pardon.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: I love the often to the team Yeah.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: Well, that's what I was gonna say is I hope you know that it was all 100% true and raw and real.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: And today is seriously like it's my high, because I have things on my podcast bucket list of you know, those times that you get those realizations of you're making it and you're doing that thing And you were on that list, you've been on that list for a year and it's that vision board, right Like now, here you are and now we're best friends.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: So I was gonna get back to tattoos next week.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: It's amazing, i was gonna say wait till the new merch line comes out, with David and that nurse Missy together, but Oh, It's funny, it's gonna happen.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: I'm not ready.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: I love it, i love it.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: We I love to make a sandwich show because in the middle we do talk, you know, usually about like deep, dark, heavy stuff.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: So I tried to start out with something light, and definitely in something fun and light.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: Luckily, like with your show, it's just that you know, this episode has just been amazing.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: But so I have a question for you that I usually end on.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: I usually don't have like an agenda or a purpose with it, but this is what I kind of do.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: So I Forgive the story, but one of the very first TikToks that I did was when you were making your phone calls, yeah, and so I called you.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: I'm really curious.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, i called.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: It is like one of mine that did a little decent.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: I called you and it was like you check on everybody, but has anyone checked on you?
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do you remember that?
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, I was like just now.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was like a year ago.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: That was me.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: I was like And I commented on it.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you sure did, you sure did.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: And because I was like she checks on everybody, but who's checking on her?
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: You know she's being this rock for everybody, but who's being there saying, girl, are you okay?
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: And so I wanted to be that person for you And you saw it and like you did, and then.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: And so I immediately then thought we were best friends And that was just the icebreaker to our friendship.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: But in my mind we were best friends at that point because you reminded me immediately of my favorite actress, the most beautiful person in this world that I love so much, melissa Peterman.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: Do you know who Melissa Peterman is?
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: She is the most amazing, brilliant person And I love her, and so I so, after you liked and made a comment on the whole thing of me, like checking in on you, i was like, so I did another one And I was wrapped up in my Reba blanket and I called you, asking if you would call Reba, because Reba is my number one favorite person in the world So if you would call Barbara Jean and ask Barbara Jean to hook me up with Reba.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: And you did a cute little video back in your like look, she won't even answer my phone calls, like.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: So, like it was cute, it was fun and I appreciated it, but I just I adore you so much.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: So the fun question I have for you after every five minute preference that I have is one day there's gonna be a movie about you.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: One day there's gonna be this creator that has just loved and embraced people and helped save and change and enlighten people.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: My pick will be Melissa Peterman, obviously, but what actress do you think would best portray you?
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: This is a fantastic question that I was ill prepared for, Oh my goodness.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: Well, you know who comes to mind.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: Well, you know.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: Delta Berg.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: but Lord, God lover, You know, I don't think she's acting anymore.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: She is my queen.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 2: You know, i don't know any of these younger actresses because by the time that movie might be made, i don't know.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: Gosh baby, that's a great question.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna go with you.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: So you think Melissa Peterson would?
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: be the right Peterman, yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: Peterman.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: you know, i want to just finish with this.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: Somebody, people.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: when people first started comparing me to Melissa Peterman, i was so offended because I remembered her, as now this is a beautiful story.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: I remembered her as the blonde Bimbo homemaker And one night I finally unleashed that And somebody said, oh, you remind me of someone like Melissa Peterman.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: I took it as an insult because of my perspective.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: And I said well, I remind you of a Bimbo homemaker.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: And she said no, you remind me of somebody who just wants everybody to get along.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: And I was humbled.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was humbled, And I was humbled.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad the story went that way, because the way that I look at Barbara Jean in the Reba show is exactly that.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: I think that sometimes it takes those brilliant, masterminded people to show you that absolutely there are people that get caught up in webs that may not choose the path that you chose, or may not even choose the path that they thought they would choose, but they're doing the best they can was what they have until they can do better.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: And I think it takes those brilliant actors and actresses to show that, and she did.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: And I think the brilliant part of the whole Reba thing is season two.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: Reba would sometimes slip up with OK, i like Barbara Jean, oh wait, no, i'm not supposed to like Barbara Jean, but in real life they're best friends, they're inseparable.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: I have seen I paid $3,800 to be front-row center stage to take my cousin to Reba McIntyre and Kelly Clarkson in Charlotte because she took me to my very first Reba concert when I was a kid.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: So as a thank you in my adult life, i took her And Melissa Peterman was the opening act and did the stand-up comedy in it.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: She was just So beautiful, so brilliant, so great, and so I truly, when I said that to you, which I know at this point.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: I know that you took it as, but it's 100% a compliment.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: Because of my, even though I have healed a tremendous amount, I still have some wounds.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: I still have some of my own perspective and my own past that I bring with me to everything, the filter that is missing.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: And so I always saw Reba as my mother who got left by my father, and then me and my, and then being left behind.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: So I always saw Melissa as the villain in the story And that was my filter and that was my wounding and my perspective.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 2: That's why it's so important to remember that just because it's your opinion, your perspective, doesn't make it right.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: There are millions of people who see Melissa Peterman as the star, as the gel that was holding her, as the funny one.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: that, and I never saw that.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: based on my own belief system and my own experiences, I missed it.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: I didn't see that.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: So my perspective was not wrong.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: It was just my perspective based on my past and my experiences.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 2: Yours about your opinion about Melissa was based on your past and your experience.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: If we could all just bring that to the table and say you know what, maybe my opinion and my perspective isn't the correct one, is it?
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: And certainly not one I should act on.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: I should not hate Melissa.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: I should not actively try to hurt her, I should not create this vendetta against her.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: So it was a really beautiful lesson for me.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love that.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: Really beautiful lesson for me.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 2: But we're always learning.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: No matter how much we think we've evolved and grown and how aware we are and inclusive, there's still, like God asked how much more can you expand?
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: a little more, a little bit more.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: Where can you soften your heart a little bit more?
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 2: Where can you soften a little bit more?
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 2: And it's beautiful.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: It is, it is.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: And if you ever want to call Melissa and or Reba, let me show you.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: I did call Melissa and made a video and you know what?
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: I'll just add them on TikTok.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: I made a video and I said, melissa, if you could come let people know that we are not.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, you're right.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: Now it's like 2020, I think.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I don't think she's active on TikTok.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: I want to really change that, because when I tell you I'm working my way to her, i will show you this.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: So this is my studio and I try to surround myself with the positive, like influential things.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: So, reba, i know every song by heart.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: I've been to.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: I beat thousands of dollars a year.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: I have every album like she's my heart.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: So I have.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: If you look right here.
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, fancy.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: I have the art.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: I had a painting done and Not the pillow.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: Not the pillow.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 2: Oh my God, that's a when you are a Reba fan.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 2: But I don't know Melissa.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: I know Melissa Peterman's pillow.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, but Well, that well.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: Missing the high that I'm on right now.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: Thank you for being a part of my healing journey when you didn't even know who I was Like.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: You had no idea that every video you're posting, every message you were laying out, every thing that you were doing was building me and helping me, and thank you for that gift.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: Thank you for this gift, thank you for our new friendship and that we're going to do a live one day And we may run into each other because we're just a few hours away from each other.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: We may see each other one day, so thank you for that.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you for inviting me.
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: I'm honored to be a part of it, honored that you would even invite me.
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: So thank you.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, of course.
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: Well, the door is always open.
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: If Missy calls, i answer.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 2: And I go on a voicemail and Jesus' name We love to see it.
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: So, even though I'm sure everyone knows where to find you, just tell us where we can find you.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 2: So it's that Nerdsmissy on TikTok, that Nerdsmissy on Instagram.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 2: I do have a YouTube.
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: As soon as I get time, i am going to create longer content for YouTube And it's that Nerdsmissy as well.
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 2: But most importantly is my website, wwwnerdsmissycom.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: You can schedule one-on-one sessions with me for sole coaching.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: You sign up for my free classes.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: I've been teaching free Zoom classes since 2020.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: I do workshops as well for group coaching And I'm starting to see people in-person clients again here in Atlanta.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 2: So all kinds of stuff.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 2: You can sign up for newsletters and anything.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 2: So that'd be the best way to stay in touch with me.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 2: And, yeah, and I have a resource page as well for people, for all kinds of people who might be in different kinds of needs for things.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 2: Just clickable resources for all kinds of things.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, I love that And of course we will post all those things.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: I can't thank you enough.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: Email me, do all the things.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 2: All the things.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and whenever you're ready for a live or whatever like.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: I would love that.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: I would love that And yeah, thank you so much.
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 2: Those words are not big enough.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 2: But, Thank you.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you too, thank you for showing up and turning your pint into purpose and being a lot house.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: As always, thank you to the listeners.
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: I try not to ask too much, but please like share download on all the podcasts and social media platforms.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: Even leaving reviews helps people find us, so if you would do that for me, that would be great.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: People have been asking for merch, and now our merch store is open.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: Of course, the link is provided on all the socials, but it's at tastespringcom.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: Please check it out.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: Help support the show.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: You are the best.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 1: We love you, guys And we'll see you next week.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 2: MUSICencing you.