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In-Laws Again · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for our American mama's. Dear mamas,
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: when you were talking about in laws, I know you
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: were secretly talking about me. Well, let's ask our American mamas.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Mama, mama, she said.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: And joining us.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Now our American mama's turned out of Ville and Kimberly
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Burt listen. I think we did this segment. I think
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: it was last year, last in December, we did a
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: segment on you know, how to get your mother in
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: law to like you, right, and then we've done some
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: other you know, how to be a good in law.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: You guys have gotten some pretty good feedback from those
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: those segments.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Yes, oh yeah, we got a lot of feedback on that,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: which kind of surprised me. Yeah, Terry actually put it
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: on Facebook. She took a portion of it, and.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Well, you know, I did that for a reason.
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  Speaker 4: I just you know, people were responding on our American
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: Mama page, and I'm like, well, maybe I'll just put
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: it on my personal page because it's can help somebody.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: But what I was not anticipating was I had several
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  Speaker 4: friends that sent me a text in you're talking about me.
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  Speaker 4: In fact, one sent a screenshot of it and said,
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: I know you're talking about me, and I.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: Said, you're the third person. It's just in me a text. No,
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  Speaker 3: it is not about you, but I.
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: Will say that that particular clip can be a jumping
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  Speaker 4: off point for people who really want to come together
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  Speaker 4: with their daughter in law. It's about moms of boys.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Right, And let me just clinic refreshed folks. In case
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: you don't listen to every single episode of American Ground Radio,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: don't have them all memorized and categorized. This was about
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: you know as mothers in law, if you are a
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: mother in law, that you need to be treating your
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: daughter in law understanding that she is the gatekeeper to
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  Speaker 1: your grandkids. Yes, that it doesn't matter what your son says.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: She's the gatekeeper to the grandkids. So if you want
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: to spend your time with the grandkids, you need to
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: your daughter in law to know that you love her exactly.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: And on top of that, if you want to put
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  Speaker 4: a wedge between you and your son, yeah, be ugly
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  Speaker 4: to your daughter in law.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, you're not gonna win. It's basically what you're
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: going to lose.
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  Speaker 4: So when I was thinking about my friends who reached
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: out to me, I wish that I could have said
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: to them, because it's one of those tricky places. I
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: don't want to, you know, I don't want to offend anybody,
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: but I will say you can use that clip and say,
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: listen I saw you know, or I listened to Miss
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: Terry and Miss Kimberly's video audio where they talked about
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: the mother in law and the moms of the sons
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: and how difficult it can be if you if you
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: don't love your daughter in law. And I think that
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: maybe I don't, not intentionally, you know, baby girl, but
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: I really think that maybe I did some things wrong,
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  Speaker 4: and I want to say I'm sorry if I did.
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  Speaker 4: I'd like to start over. It's not too late. I
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: understand that you were the number one person in my
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: son's life, and I supposed to be that way, and
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: maybe maybe I was confused, but this wedge between us
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  Speaker 4: isn't working for me because I love you. I love
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  Speaker 4: that you love my son and if my son chose you,
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  Speaker 4: I raised my son to pick someone that will be
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: a loving partner and a wonderful mother of his children.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: And and maybe I stepped over a line. I don't know,
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: But can we communicate about this can we can we
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: start over? Because I want whatever I want what Miss
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: Terry and Tristan have, right, that would be a great
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: start because it is you. You really don't want to
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: end this life feeling like, oh my gosh, I wish
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: I could have done better. Because even though your kids
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  Speaker 4: are adults, you're the adult adult.
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  Speaker 3: You're the parent. You're the parent.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: So even if you think, well, she did this and
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  Speaker 4: she's not really reaching out and she's making it harder,
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  Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
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  Speaker 3: You're the mother.
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  Speaker 4: So what you do is say you overlook that you
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: vent to me, vent to your siblings, vent to your parents.
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  Speaker 3: Well whoever you want to vent to your spouse.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: But then say, you know, I guess our personalities are
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: are kind of rough around the edges, but I'm still willing,
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  Speaker 4: you know, tell me what I can do.
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  Speaker 2: But let's also this is a message for the daughters.
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  Speaker 2: If you love the daughter in law, if you love
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  Speaker 2: your husband, you will make the effort as well. You
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  Speaker 2: will not shut down. You will not so you have
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  Speaker 2: a part to plan this too. You're right, the mother
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  Speaker 2: in law is the adult adult, so she needs to
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  Speaker 2: do the one she needs to work the hardest. But
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: that daughter in law needs. You need to make the
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  Speaker 2: effort because you love your husband. Do not pull him
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: away from his mother, you know.
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  Speaker 4: And I'll tell y'all a personal story about my father
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  Speaker 4: in law. So I remember I called Mom and I said,
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: I'm done. I'm literally done. He doesn't respect me, he
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  Speaker 4: doesn't love that. I'm the one that Kevin chose. I'm
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  Speaker 4: too city, I'm not, you know. And I said, I'm done,
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: I'm not. The kids and I We're not going over there.
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  Speaker 4: And you know what she said to me, Mom said,
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  Speaker 4: you will. You will, Terry, she said, because ultimately you
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: need to love him because he raised the man that
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  Speaker 4: you fell in love with, that is now the father
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  Speaker 4: of your children. So you will love your husband more
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  Speaker 4: than you dislike the situation with your father in law
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  Speaker 4: right now. You will make the effort because that's who
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: we are in this family. And would y'all believe that
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  Speaker 4: it did. I put a little effort into it. And
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  Speaker 4: at the end of his life, after he died, it
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  Speaker 4: was me who gave his eulogy.
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  Speaker 1: Wow, that's a strong statement.
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  Speaker 4: It is. You just have to You have to realize, okay,
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  Speaker 4: if it's if it is to be, it is up
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  Speaker 4: to me I'm going to make this work because I
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: love my husband and my children.
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  Speaker 3: There's more than I dislike the situation.
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  Speaker 1: Like so many things were the relationships, there's a dual
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  Speaker 1: obligation on both sides.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was an honor to eulogize him.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: If you like us Kart American Mama's Question, go to
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: our website American Ground Ready to dot com slash Mama's
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: and click on the ask of the Mama's button. Terry
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: out I vill Kimberly, Brothersten, thank you so much.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: Thank you,