Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Crowd Work Pack_ Dallas

Transcript

Crowd Work Pack_ Dallas · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I want to see a police chase.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Run!
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: With your whack-ass explanation.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess that's what happened.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Texas, make some motherfucking noise.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: First person I want to talk to is a huge
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: NASCAR fan. He don't like sleeves.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: And I can already tell he's a little bit musty.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: We're going right here. What's your name, Mr.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: Dirty White Man? You didn't even want to get dressed
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: for real? You just gonna just throw on some pajamas
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: and come out? What's your name again? You got something
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: in your mouth that you can't say the whole thing?
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: What did he say?
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: Nick?
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Do you know I thought he called me a three times?
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: That's why I kept checking. He was like, it's.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: Nick.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Well, Nick, first thing you got to do is relax
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: so that you can enjoy the show. You got your
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: arms crossed. Nice titties, sir. That's what's up. Now I
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: see why you had them pent up.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: You didn't want them to fall like they just fell.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Hold on.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: We got to figure out what the fuck he doing. Hey, hey,
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: where you going? Hey, where you going? Where's your goddamn seat?
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Go find your seat. Hurry up, or some more of
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: your hair falls out.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Sit down.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: All these little youth pastors looking ass black men. He
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: just look like he know the Psalms 37. Now I
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: was talking to Nick, the NASCAR driver, before you came
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: in here from the wrong way, which makes no sense.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of ways you could have got out.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: I don't know what the fuck you was doing coming
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: over here.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: That don't make no sense.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Take this aisle and take your ass around back. I
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: want to talk to Nick. Nick, do you have money?
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: What do you do? Little bit of everything? Uh-oh.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: You selling that crack, ain't you, boy? He was like, yeah,
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: put him on the screen. I want everybody to see
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: who I'm talking about.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Go on, tee that. There he is. Yeah, right when
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: y'all was like, damn, we ain't gonna be able to
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: see him. Surprise, motherfucker.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Y'all see how juicy that titty is coming between both
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: of them? That been shoplifting M & Ms.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: You cold? Goddamn.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: You can cut glass with that motherfucker. That nipple is serious.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: I just want to go boo.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Who are you with?
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: Are you with all the white people on the room?
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Is that safe to assume? Who's in the maroon right
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: there with the nice glasses?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Who is that? That's Lana? That's your woman? Your wife?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Your old lady? Welcome to Texas.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: And who's that next to you looking like he plays
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: a lot of Dungeons and Dragons?
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Trent, come down just a little bit, just. How you doing, sugar?
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: I didn't see you until I was looking at the
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: white people, but now I see you.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Just a big, beautiful black queen. Hell yeah. Got some
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: puffy ass gums too. I don't know what you're doing.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: You allergic to something you ate today. What's the name
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: of the church you lead praise and worship at? Because
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: I know she down at the church. The precious lamb.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: My God.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Watch out, y'all. Shit. She cuss in the middle of
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: church songs. Hallelujah. Move out the way, bitch. Hallelujah. What's
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: your name?
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Hattie?
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Cassandra? It's nice to meet you. Who you with, Cassandra?
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: You came by yourself? Okay. Ma'am, next to her.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: Hey. Hey.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Everybody shut the fuck out. Are the chairs connected to
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: each other?
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Okay, because the lady next to you, the way she's
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: making it look like she's uncomfortable is crazy.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Listen, Cassandra knows she big. You need to relax.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Go ahead and let your thigh hit her thigh, let
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: your elbow, but there you go.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: You get sleepy, put your head on that goddamn fried
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: chicken wing arm. Just relax. Cassandra, I want you to
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: be comfortable. Fuck it.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: You didn't put the chairs this tight. You brought all
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: that big, beautiful, juicy ass up in this motherfucker.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Let it ride. Hell yeah. Now, back to the white
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: people behind you. What's your name, sir?
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Austin?
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Ashton. Okay.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: And this is your woman turning red next to you?
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: That's your mom? You're going to have to zoom in
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: on this.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Are you and him brothers? You about to. Calm your
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: crackhead ass down. We can't see. Cassandra, go sit on
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: this bitch.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: We can't breathe either.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: God damn. You his mama?
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Stand up.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Let me let everybody see how fine a mama can be.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: Woo, woo. Big ass crooked titties, I like that. One
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: titty low, one titty high, I like that. Fucker quality.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: That's a big boy too, them titties, that's why you
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: got big. You were eating them same titties when you
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: was a little boy. You should've cut him off though,
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: he got carried away. You should've just squeezed the titty down.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Cut him off. How old are you that this your mama?
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: You're 28? Is everything okay at the house? You're 28, fam?
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, this is crazy. I've never seen anything like this
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: before in my life.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: That is the oldest, scariest-looking 28-year-old I've ever seen in
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: my goddamn life.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Do you live in her garage? Like, why?
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: When was the last time you had a haircut or
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: any type of grooming? Four years ago?
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: You just got out?
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: So you live out with us but behave incarcerated? Sir,
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: you need to get your shit together. There's no way
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: that you look like this at 28 years old. These
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: supposed to be some of the best years of your
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: life and you look like you steal from other people's
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: garage sales.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Look at the tooth. He don't look like that.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: He look like a crackhead Hagrid from Harry Potter.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Potter? Your mama fine though, bro. I got to look
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: one more time.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Let me come on this side and fuck around a
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: little bit. I see your brother got, you got your
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: shit together. Got your teeth done and goddamn. Is that
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: your teeth or you took care of that? You bought them.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: You went south or you went north? Where'd you go
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: get your teeth at?
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Vegas. They doing teeth in Vegas? Is that why they
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: look like dice? I'm fucking around.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: You got your shit together. They got your hat on.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: That's a goddamn Texas black man right there.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Where your woman at? You leaning on an empty chair.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: She went to the bathroom? What's her name? Is she
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: real or made up? Answer me, eyebrows. Is she real
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: or is she made up? Is that her right there?
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: That's not her? Okay. I wasn't going to judge you.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Hey. Hey. Where you going, vice principal? She's like, please
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: don't say anything. Please don't say anything. Please don't say anything.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: What's your name? Carol?
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Hannah?
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: What's your name, baby? Tracy? Nice to meet you. And
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: who is this with you with this? Cully? None of
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: these are regular names so far. Cully?
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: Is that short for something? Your name, your parents took
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: a brand new baby boy and was like, you know
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: what we should name him?
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Cully.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: You tried to name your son Lincoln Town Car? I'ma
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: tell the jokes, because that don't even make no damn sense.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: How old are you?
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: 50, hold on. Sir, you look older than this. He
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: 50 years old. He's more than twice your age, and
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: he looks younger than you. You need to get your
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: shit together, okay? Fuck this show. When this is over,
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: prioritize yourself. Now, Cully, how long you been with this
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: woman you got your arm around like you love her?
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: Let me finish the question, motherfucker.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: How long? 25 years? Wow, he been with her longer
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: than you are old. And they both groomed themselves. How'd
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: you meet her? Just at a sock hop or a
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: fucking rodeo? Took you a while?
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: You had to keep on hollering at her? You had
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: to aggravate her? It's black people here, man. You got
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: to be careful about how you describe the way you
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: got your woman. Had to aggravate her and follow her
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: home every day.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You're going to get with old Cully. Why you
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: didn't like him at first? He got his shit together.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: He was arrogant. And you had to humble him. So
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: you liked him, but you just didn't want him to
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: know at first. Okay. So how did he humble himself?
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: He just crawled in one day? Like, I just, please,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: can I have some pussy? I'm so sorry. Pretty much. Okay, Cully,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: you know how to get down and beg for that, huh?
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Did he slick his hair back? Can I please have
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: a little bit of.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: Pussy?
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: And so, Cully, how long you been selling used trucks?
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: You look like you sell used trucks, lifted ones.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: What do you do? You work at a general store?
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: You sell guns. Yeah, so anyway.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: It's one thing to have one. Selling them is different.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: He gonna go to work tomorrow like, which one of
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: these I want to shoot this with? He be talking
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: all that shit. I want my pistol, my rifle, my muzzle,
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: my 1911.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: The musket.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: But somebody, how you doing right there? I see with
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: the whole, the whole thing. Yeah, how you doing, baby?
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: I don't get this a lot. I love what you're doing.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: What'd you say, baby? You assume so? You're like, damn,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: ain't no more hijabs in this mama. You got to
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: get on your hijab. Who you with? Whose titties is that? Oh,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: my God. Whose hand was that?
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: There's a midget next to her that just reached out
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: and grabbed a titty.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: You guys want some cookies?
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: Where you get this little bitty bitch from? Your titty
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: as big as her whole goddamn head. You got shit
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: in your titties? Call me on that phone you just
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: pulled out of there. I'm trying to titty fuck.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: What's your name? You kind of freaky. You did a
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: lot of freaky shit with your mouth while I looked away. Yeah, yeah, titties.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: What's your name?
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Maddie?
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Maddie? Madison? It's just Maddie. So it's more than Maddie. Madeline. Okay.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: And who's this next to you? Do you know her personally? No, no,
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: the one that is from somewhere else. Did you just
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: get offended that I said you're from somewhere else? What,
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: are you from South Dallas with that shit on your head?
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: You're not. She from out east Dallas. East, east, east, east, east, east.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: Don't go too far. Come back to the Middle East.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: That's where the fuck you from. You have a beautiful culture,
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: but don't be offended because I said you ain't from here.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: Ain't no goddamn way. Do you listen to country music?
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Hell no. Your car, you turn it on. Ha, yeah, oh, yeah, oh. Ha, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: That was the number one song by Abdul Muhammad, Muhammad Abdul. DJ,
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: run it back. Out of all the songs I played today,
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: that one is my jam. Up next, Cardi B, Bodak Yellow.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: This is a bloody show. Just kidding. That's funny as
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: a motherfucker, man. I'm sorry. Had to squeeze my booty
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: to hit that note. She crying a little bit.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: She used the hijab and wiped the tear off.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: She was like, look at, good Lord. The honorable, is
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: there not a way out back there? Why do people
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: keep going this way? Hey, where the fuck you going?
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Why you ain't going that way? That's quicker. You want
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: to get fucked with? Is that titties coming through your shirt?
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Zoomed in. It happens to be T.D. 's coming through
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: that shirt. Look at her. Shit. Where the bathroom at?
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: God damn. It's the red beans and the rice. God damn.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Fucking with Popeyes. I shouldn't have been. Let's talk to y'all.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Y'all matching this shit. Y'all look good. Hell yeah. How
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: long y'all been doing this? 20 what? Two and a half.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I'll let her go. Y'all been together, it was two
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: and a half and you already color coordinated. That's crazy.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: Fuck y'all gonna wear 20 years from now. Both of
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: y'all gonna be wearing skates.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: We just fucking love each other. How did y'all meet? Where?
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: TJ Maxx. Is that where you bought these shirts? She's like, bitch,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: this is sale. You're like, they only got medium, but
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get it. That shirt don't fit you, brother.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: You might have to.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: I don't know if you went in there hungry and
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: now you've eaten. But that outfit is crazy. Can you
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: show him, please? Where is the camera at?
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Please. The great pumpkin. You feeding him good? Well, he's
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: still wearing shirts from before that.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: No, no. You're going to have to come all the
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: way up and tip down. He got a basketball, Jones.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: In order for what I said to hit, we got
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: to see his stomach. Just hold the camera up in
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: the air so we can see it.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Sir, relax. Don't try to suck it in. Look at that.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: Rub his stomach, baby, so they see how round it is.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: That motherfucker about to have some fucking puppies. That nigga
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: about to have a litter of baby Rottweilers.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Three boys and two girls. The boy's going to be big.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: So what's your name?
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: Juan?
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Two Juan? Foo? Your name Tuan? Like where you got
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: your shirt made at? And what's your name?
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: Huh?
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Natasha? Okay.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: So you hollered at Natasha and at TJ Maxx. What
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: is TJ Maxx game? Do you remember what you said?
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: This is only two and a half years ago. Do
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: you remember what you walked up and said? You walked
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: up and said, girl, you got a pretty smile. She
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: was like.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Okay okay and then you took her out of TJ
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: Maxx and went to go get some ice cream or
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: something what happened next I know you eat ice cream
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: you bloated not you ma'am him he bloated his period
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: about to start in two days I can see it already.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Where'd y'all go on.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: Your first date like to get up out of TJ
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: Maxx and really link up where'd y'all What's a black
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: love story?
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: You took him out. Sis, you took him out. Texas
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: is different.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: He met you at TJ Maxx and then your first,
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: where you from? You moved here four months ago?
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: From where?
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Hello?
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: You don't know where you from?
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: Well, why don't you say that? That's where the Jacksons
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: is from. You're from Gary, Indiana.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: So you met out in Gary at the TJ Maxx.
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: And fell in love over a discount. You're like, don't
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: buy that one. Buy this one. See, after the decimal
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: for ending the 9-8, they rolling that down tomorrow, so
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: I want to make sure you have that.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: She's like, damn, you want something to eat? Bitch, me? Yeah,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: I want something.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: To eat.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: What you trying to do? I'm about to have some puppies. Okay.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: And so you took him out for Father's Day? How
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: many kids you got, Taiwan? Two-one?
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Foo?
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: How many kids you got?
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: Five.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: This really did have puppies. God damn. They really had
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: a litter.
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: Five.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Did he tell you that at TJ Maxx?
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: Did you know for Father's Day it was that serious?
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: So he met you and I was like, yeah, you
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: know what I'm saying? I got five kids.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: And you were like, really?
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: What else do you be doing? Usually you got to
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: slide that in later after they love you.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: You were with two at the time. She's like, those
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: are yours? He's like, I got three more. She didn't
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: throw up? That's why his girl left. She's like, how
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: many kids you got? Five. She's like, I'm sorry. This
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: is the first day that ain't going to work. So
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: you got five kids? They grown? Name them. Go. Wait.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: Four boys and one girl. I heard five names. What
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: was the girl's name? Lathan? Nashitek? Lashite?
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: What?
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Her name is Lashitek? Mexicans, does that mean something to y'all?
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: Because that don't sound... Lashitek just sounds like a new
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: table or something. La mesa, Lashitek. Okay.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: I thought y'all was going to have a much more
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: interesting love origin than that.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Hey. Where the fuck you going?
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'll accept that. Let's talk to you, though. Let's
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: talk to the brother that I called up front. I'm sorry.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: You deserve better from me than that. How long you
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: been an NFL wide receiver? Got them de-hopping this motherfucker.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: What's your name? Huh? What's your name?
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: What?
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Your name is Carolina?
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: Is that where you're from? Okay, so what's your name?
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Because that's what people call you when you leave home
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: and they don't know what to call you. They call
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: you where you're from. Okay, you're going to stick to that? Okay.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: Somebody else said, okay. And so you live out here now?
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: And what do you do out here?
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: Now I see why we have an alias. Come on, Jeremy,
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: tell me what you do out here. Selling that crack,
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: ain't your boy? Dirty white dude was like, I know
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: who exactly who it is. That's my motherfucker right there.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, man. I'm glad you was able
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: to shut down the block and come on out and
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: have some fun. I seen you check your phone like,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: you need better keep it up too though while you're
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: doing shit. So how'd you meet her? Yeah, she got
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: on a beautiful wedding ring. That's your wife?
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: How long y'all been married? Somebody on cocaine back here
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: yelling out. I can't hear. My jokes are whack. Go
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: to the bathroom.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: We having a show. Ain't nobody stopping you. You look
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: pregnant too. A little ashy, overburnt marshmallow looking. Let me
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: do my goddamn show. I'm trying to get to know
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: the people down here. Listen, let the block loose on this.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Let the whole block loose. You know what it is?
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: It's a down here wearing a little green shirt. Fire
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: him up.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: Could somebody talk to the general manager from Olive Garden
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: in Oak Cliff and tell him to sit down? Shit,
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: there's different levels to comedy. Let me work this shit.
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: I can't help it if everybody can't think. But this
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: was some good moments down here. Just a minute ago,
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: she almost blew this motherfucker up and you would have
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: still been here and blown up because you wasn't listening.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry to bring you into that. You didn't deserve that. Okay,
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: you're the bomb. Don't let nobody tell you anything different.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: Somebody tell him to sit down. I'm not going to
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: keep addressing him way back there. Oh shit, this is Texas.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: Security is not coming. The police are. He's looking around like, oh,
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: come on, man. I didn't even do nothing.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: Yep. Now look at you. You're sitting at home in
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: the car. Yep, that's me. You wonder how I got here? Yep,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: that's me.
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: Run!
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: I want to see a police chase.
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: Run!
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: With your whack ass explanation. Oh shit.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess that's what happens. All right, okay, it
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: went to another level. Hey, he's still black, be gentle.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: We was just talking shit. Officers, I'm serious, don't hurt him.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: Make sure you take care of him like he's your
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: nephew now. Don't do too much. Cassandra, go up there
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: and help him out. He talk shit the whole way.
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: I don't give a fuck what the fuck going on.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: You think I give a fuck any wack ass motherfucking joke?
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: I go to jail over your motherfucking jokes.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: I'm about to lose my job fucking with your jokes.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Wait till my supervisor watch this video. This is going
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: on the internet too. I don't know why he thought.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: I'm the wrong one. This is on the internet in
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: the morning. Don't worry, we're going to call you Carolina.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: It is taking a long time.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: To get him out of here, though.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: Is his head against the thing, though? Officer, stop. Just
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: walk with him. He a person now. You ain't got
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: to do all that. God damn.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: These just jokes. Zoom in some more. Yeah, just walk
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: with him. Be regular. There you go. Thank you, Mr.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Black Cop.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Black Cop. You're kind of cute, though, in
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: the back. Ma'am, you ain't doing shit.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Stop. Come back. Hey. Come here.
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: Like a cop car. I jaywalked today. I'm in Texas. Dallas, Texas.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: And they are not fucking around about me.
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: Look at all these beautiful people out here in Dallas, Texas.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Irving, Texas. Dallas, Texas. Make some motherfucking noise.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: Look at all these beautiful people.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: My God. Dallas, I love y'all. Thank y'all so much.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: I love y'all. Peace.