Latest / Pod Therapy / #375: Burned out at Work, Imposter Syndrome, Sick Therapist

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#375: Burned out at Work, Imposter Syndrome, Sick Therapist · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Good at it.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Exactly. That is not implied by John dear hat implies
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: that he most grass in a state that forbids grass.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: It's like a magical hat.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, my farm cred.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: That's from faculous Las Vegas.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: No matter. This is pod therapy, real people, real problems,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: and real therapists. You can submit your questions anonymously at
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: pod therapy on net or emailing pod therapy guys at
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Broadcasting from the Churn, that's Jim, that's
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Whitney on Nick's time for.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Some pot, Colonel Jim. Actually join us at Patreon absolutely
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  Speaker 2: splash therapy. You can find out what every host's favorite
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: soft drinks are. And ranked turned into a very formidable discussion.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: And I didn't know that it was going to get
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: into geopolitics. I didn't know it was going to get
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: into racial war. But you're an idiot. Yeah, well I
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: should have assumed. Yeah, it's been a long I just
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: know those things will happen.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: You have a way of working race into every cover.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Are you hanging this on my I ask I didn't
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: bring up anything that none of it. I was just
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: watching it. Nobody else used, He slurs, Well, I didn't
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: initiate it, but slurs followed. It is what it is.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Pitch on dot com slash therapy. Enjoy our pre show hangout.
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  Speaker 2: your app. Boom you start getting it. It's awesome. It's
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: so easy. Even it could do it. He could if
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: he could, would try to, but he could. Shut up,
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: you're a bad case example.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Honestly, have tried it.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Lord, if he tried hard enough, he could, he could
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: get it done. Okay, he learned how to fucking do photoshop,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: all right, he can. He can learn this. It's copying
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: and paste it. Just give me your phone. I'll do
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: it for you anyway.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: That was for Nick podcast.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: I can't do all this, that's true. Good point. So
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: we've got a great show ahead for you. We've got
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: some great questions, and we're leading off the order with
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: am I overwhelmed or not trying hard enough? From Anonymous. Hello,
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: I'm a thirty year old LATINX female who is looking
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: for a bit of insight. I can get into my backstory,
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: which is extensive, but the highlights are that I am
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: an EMT for two years who has hit a block
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  Speaker 2: in terms of moving up the chain. I have a
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Bachelor of Science and criminal justice. I like helping people,
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: but I find I'm going stagnant and not accomplishing as
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: much as I'd like to. I worry about my income
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: and my lack of a social life. I also have
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: recently started questioning my sexuality. I've suffered mild bouts of
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: depression in the past, got to a really bad point
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: once and was able to bring myself out of it.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: But I don't feel like I have any kind of
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: support system, but plenty of people with expectations of me.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Myself included any advice on how to approach all this.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Anonymous dude. E m T has got to
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: be one of the hardest fucking jobs in the world. Jesus,
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: because of the ears or the nose or the throat. Yeah,
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, I should I should have definite Yeah, I
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: meant Emason Mickey yeah, oh diamosare yeah yeah yeah. So
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: that's uh, Emma's in mick caage, you know, or or
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: you know, Oh my god, let him find a joke.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Looking for a joke joke yeah you know, yeah, you know,
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Saint Nicholas.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be really funny oncet to it.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it'll it'll come later workshop, but no, a shitty
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: ass job. Like have you ever had patients that are EMTs?
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: No?
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: But I've had friends and one time one of them
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: told me this story, and I won't go Intollvi's pretty graphic,
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: but it was this traumatizing story about a somebody having
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: a I'm gonna say this in a dirty joke is
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: gonna come from j Now that I've called it out,
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: maybe it won't happen that the person had a hole
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: in them so from getting punctured anyway. So I tell
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: this story to my my brother.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: And sister in law punctured.
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: So I'm telling this to my brother and sister in
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: law when I see them, and my niece is a goal.
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: My niece is like two and a half at the time,
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: and I don't know. It's probably like two days later
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: she randomly comes up to me says.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: I like that story about the person with the whole.
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: Oh lord, it's not thinking about obviously I don't have kids,
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: but now I just married.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: The things they see, man, it is so rough and
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: they get paid nothing, like they're all just basically doing
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: this job until they can get hired as like a
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: paramedic or move on. And like it's like the starter
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: healthcare career. You run NonStop, you get paid peanuts. You
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: are doing all the stuff, like you're showing up to
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: every hole. It's so bad a show.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: We have a partnership with Community Ambulance, which is an
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: ambulance company in town. They have they have a lot
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: of em ts on staff, and so we always have
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: emt s on our on site during our shows because
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: we do have dangerous things. And then they also deal
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: with people who uh maybe over overdo it over Yes,
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: they say they overdo it here in Vegas where all
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: of a sudden they have ready access to legal weed
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: and all the booze and uh yeah, so people occasionally nightly,
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: they definitely deal with they deal with the acrobats. Uh,
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: but we have them, and so we had the we
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: hosted our show, hosted the community Ambulance uh, basically like
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: a big party that they threw for all of their employees.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: So we had like five hundred e m t s
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: and ambulance workers come to the show and we just
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: do a big party for him and everything. It was
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: a whole thing. But it's one point. I was just
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: over by me a group of them was just telling
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: war stories and.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: A horrific yeah.
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: And they were just all out doing each other too,
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: the same thing as me sitting around telling like funny
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: stories about celebrities or something.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: They were just they were doing the exact But yeah, yeah,
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: this guy didn't have a hit, didn't have ad around
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: ten minutes.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I gotta we got the paddles the show. Friend of mine,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: fire department, same thing.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, so many friend of mine was.
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: He was the fire chief for the Nellis Fire Department
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: for years. And yeah, it's like he would just come
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: in and I would be having drinks and like we're
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: having a good time and then sitting around having having
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: fun and you just see him sit down with like
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: two shots in front of him and a beer and
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: he's like I gotta I'm gonna get through.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: These and I'm gonna join the party.
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  Speaker 4: I just came from a thirty six hour shift and
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: horrible things have happened to me in the last thirty
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  Speaker 4: six hours.
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  Speaker 2: Lord, rib tough. I don't know how people do you
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: run ragged? The compensation's very low. I mean, I've had
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: patients where both members of a couple were EMTs cool
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: and it's just such a hard life and like one
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  Speaker 2: of them finally got out of it and the other
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: one was hoping to get out of it. And it's
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: just like that's the whole goal. Like nobody's like I'm
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: going to be a thirty year MT. Like it's just like, yeah,
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: that's a good point. It's a very hard thing to
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: sustainably do.
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's kind of what the writers alluding to as well,
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  Speaker 5: Like I've been here two years and I want to
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  Speaker 5: do maybe something. There's no more room and I'm burned out.
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: And especially when we talk about having depression in the past,
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: or even if they're mild bouts, I can't imagine carrying
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: a lot of the shit that they go through around
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  Speaker 5: and not feeling something well.
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  Speaker 2: And the adrenaline is always up you know, like rice officers, firefighters,
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  Speaker 2: they get these you know, yes big they get called
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: to a scene. There's unusual things happening that that can
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: be part of their life. EMTs are only going to
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: emergencies the whole shift. Yeah, they are just going from
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: horrible to horrible. Traffic stops like stop is somebody's worst
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: day of the year, Like that is their worst day,
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: and you're showing up no matter what's going on. It's
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: just it's like em.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: At the show, just dealing with people passing out or
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: falling over or what else.
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  Speaker 2: It was an emergency.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: It's always terrible and and really like one once a
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: week or so, it's like I'll see somebody and be
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: like that person might die.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: They're going to die today, Yeah, right here, Yeah, jeeze.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: I think that adrenaline's got to be so jacked and
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: the cortisol levels so jagged, and even if you eventually
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: get calm under fire, I just feel like there's just
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: a pleasant going on and then they're not getting rest
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: and just hard to recount.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Actually, I've done a lot of reading on this, you know,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: with when it comes to like exercise and cortisol levels,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: stuff that happens with the brain, because there is a
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: really good arguments for the the idea that the only
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: reason that we have a brain is for movement. Huh. Okay,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: So anything that's happening with our brain, anything that triggers something,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: it's it's to create movement.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: It's that you know, going back from like fight or flight,
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: you know you're gonna have to move for both of that.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Anything having to do with hunger usually means you're gonna
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: have to go to hunt something or you're gonna have
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: to go to forage. Okay, but everything is about movement
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: and learning is tied to that too. So you know,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: when you move, you learn something. You know, like I'm
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: I'm running from something, I'm learning what's going on, or
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I'm finding food so I'm remembering where that food's at
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: so i can come back to it. So like all
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: of this is highly connected. But like with cortisol levels too,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: like it's meant to create movement, like go do something.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: And when you have these jobs that create and I'm
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: not saying like EMTs don't move, but it's not like
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: they're they're not they're they're Yeah, they're definitely moving, but
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: it's not like intense carrying a y with them. And
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: that's the thing. That's the thing is like, it's what
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: happens over a long period of time when your brain
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: is creating all of these chemicals to create movement, but
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: you never move, Like what happens with that, right, So
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: that just kind of builds up over a long period
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: of time.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you backed up, yep, exactly.
• 10:29
  Speaker 5: The next advice is to work out.
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: Here we are again everybody, but the advice is to
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: work out. I think you should separate your home life
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: and your work life.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you think you should get therapy there. Do you
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: think you should buy a gun? Always, always to buy
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: a gun. But that's that's the thing.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: So like cortisol levels, and not just if you're going
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: to work out, but if you are going to work out,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: work out in the morning, because what happens, I know
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I hate morning time, but what happens exercise increases cortisol levels. Okay, Whitney.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: In the air directly.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: This is why we need to have this on. But
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: so exercise will and then it'll drop it throughout the
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: rest of the day, so that when you experience those
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: like stressful moments, course all go up a little bit,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: but it doesn't peak, it's exercise will naturally suppress it for.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: The rest of the day because you forced it up
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: to go exactly.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: So, the writer talks about maybe feeling stuck and stagnant
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: in their professional life, feeling like upward momentum has been halted.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: They have a.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: Bachelor and criminal justice.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: It's an interesting debate that I kind of hear in
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: this letter, because I mean, the writer titles it sort
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: of asking this question of like, I'm feeling stuck, I'm
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: feeling an I don't feel like I'm putting my whole
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: effort in and then kind of asking that open question,
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: is this me becoming lethargic? Is this me becoming lazy?
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Or is this me facing the wall? Right? There's no
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: upward momentum And is that a natural response to when
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: you're burned out? And I think it's a very open question.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely could be burnt out. It could also
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: just be that you're not really pursuing your passions. Yeah, No,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: I think you should if you know what what drove
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: you into criminal justice. There was something in there that
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: was interesting to you, Yeah, and maybe you should explore
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: that unless there's no money in it. And then go
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: after the money, yeah.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Always, that's always, and the Las Vegas housing market just strength.
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: I'm smart, smart, yeah, and kind of exploring some of
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: these things. Some of them are a little bit universal
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: right now, and that's not to minimize your feelings on it,
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: but I think very relatable is what I'm trying to say.
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: Worrying about income and worrying about lack of social life. Yeah,
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: I mean with the precarious state of the economy and
• 13:04
  Speaker 5: everything right now. I mean even really stable people are nervous,
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: you know, like cause it's we just don't know. So
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: I think some of that is very is very just relatable,
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: and I think you have to sit down and kind
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: of I would go there out of maybe brainstorming. I
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: talk about this with clients a lot. I did just
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: this week with a clients, like, sit down and just
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: kind of spitball, what what are your interests? Even if
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: it's not putting pressure on you or an expectation to say,
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: I have to follow through with this, but let me
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: just put it on paper.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: Why not and see what happens, like see what I
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: gravitate toward.
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: But put it all out there, go through it a
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: second time later on, maybe set it aside for a day,
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: come back the next day, look at it again. What's
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: really standing out to you? Do you want to add
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: to it? Do you want to pick through it and
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: pick two or three things that stand out and then
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: kind of look at those and hold hone in on those.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: I like that. I think there's a couple layers of
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: this writer. And by the way, I think it is
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: a very relatable thing. When humans don't feel that they
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: can continue forward, when they feel like there's a stagnance here,
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: the door is closed, it is very defeating that. There's
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: an old quote that like, hope is a great breakfast
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: but a terrible dinner, And it's like, yeah, you can
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: wake up and you can start your day. You can
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: choose to believe that the future is limitless. But whenever
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: you're having to keep telling yourself that, like it'll get
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: better at the end of the night, and you know
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: it won't, like tomorrow is going to be the same thing,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: you start to get this emotional fatigue and you do
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: start to feel the sense of burnout and you don't
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: want to try as hard anymore. And look, to some extent,
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: I think that that's very relatable, Like if your profession
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: or your employers are not creating areas of advancement for you.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: They don't realize this, but they are flattening your tires,
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: like they are disincentivizing you from improving and impressing them
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: because there's nowhere to go. And so when you've already
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: maxed out, it's like, okay, so why try harder? Apparently
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I cannot ascend beyond what I'm at, and I've already
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: demonstrated I'm competent to do what I do. So if
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: I can just do this lazily and be effective enough
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: to keep the job, I will, right. But I think
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: what you're experiencing, writer is that that's also unsatisfying. And
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: so I really like Whitney's idea that you need to
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: take that social permission to sit down and in pencil
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: sort of begin drafting these questions of like, Okay, what
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: are my personal values? And we've talked in the last
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: month or two about doing values exploration and values analysis,
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: but asking that question of like, okay, do am I
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: a career oriented person? Maybe I'm discovering that I'm unhonestly not,
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: and maybe I'm fine with being where I'm at, and
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: staying where I'm at. If you guys aren't gonna make
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: a lane for me to continue to ascend in this path,
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: then fine, I'll do enough to stay here, and then
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna start diversifying and getting into other things. Maybe
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: I want to spend more time with my family, Maybe
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: I want to do more with my friends. May want
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: to pick up a hobby. Maybe I want to bring
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: up my attention elsewhere and fulfill myself in new ways.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: That has to become, I think, our direction, because otherwise
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: that's stagnancy with no hope to climb, and you just
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: feel stuck. Depression loves that. Oh yeah, that is the
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: ground that depression wants to grow out of. Hell, yes
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: it will. So we got to find somethingnation, Yes, that
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: is that is the soil the fungus pops out of.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: So we have to create something in your life. Writer,
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: And I really like the idea of using this moment
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: to say, okay, you know what, I'm not going to
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: sit here and ask this question of am I being lazy?
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: I know I am stuck. I know I have no direction.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: So when when you're stuck in traffic, you're not being
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: a lazy driver, right, You're just stuck. There's nowhere to
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: go the roads. Yeah it could be both. You could
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: sit there and rev the engine, but there's nowhere to go,
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: So like, why are we going to have you go
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: when the road's closed up?
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: Ahead?
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Like, I don't see the value of that, you know,
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: And I think like even like an EMT who's not
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: trying their hardest, they're showing up and still doing more
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: in the average data.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Either way, if you're an EMT, go ahead and try
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: your head.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, actually, good point. Let's back up. If you live
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: in the Las Vegas area, I would like you to
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: very much try harder. Just kind of feel like half
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: asking it. Yeah, maybe don't don't phone them in. Yeah,
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Pound of Red, Bully, get to work.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: We need yous.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, I absolutely need them to never suck at
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: their job. I'll tell you what.
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: Every e m T in Vegas that I have ever
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: dealt with seemed very competent.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, like here.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: There's a whole vibe like I just trust you with.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: The rose like they come in, they just do it.
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: But Jim and I had to deal with the e
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: MTS one night, dealing with with someone and uh, like
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: we were both fine but somebody else needed some attention
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: and we we happened to be there.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: It was Jim's wife. She realized that Jim.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: Was going to be home very Yeah, it's a big
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: bout of depressions.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Just violent sadness. Oh you know he still lives here.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: He got home ten minutes early. That was.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: That was.
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but we had we had to deal with the
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: EMTs one night, dealing with with a different person. And
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: like all the EMTs that we dealt with and spoke
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: to were brilliantly professionals, Like, here are concerns.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: They're like, great, are good concerns.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: Here's this, here's this, here's this, here's why you don't
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: have to do this, and this and this, and please
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: do this.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: And like, oh, they took charge, they got there, get
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: the fuck out of the way. We're here now we do.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: And then they're just one guy walking up to us.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: Answer these five questions. We're giving him the data. He's
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: like boom boom boom, great pivots goes and gets his team.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: We have this new information, do this now, and it's
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: just wild, Like it was amazing, it was magical. They
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: are so good. Yeah, and that is that has genuinely been.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: I've been with people who have h you know, had
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: severe injuries in Vegas and you had the EMTs come out,
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: and every time it's been amazing.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we super respect your profession, right, and we
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: want you to be in it with all your hearts. Like,
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: I don't want the day that you're like, I don't know,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna quit halfway through the shift, Like no, no, no,
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: we want you to find what fulfills you in life.
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: I either want you to quit before, like well before before,
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: well after, you have to.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Deal with me. Don't realize during your shift that your
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: heart's not in it anymore. That's not while you're applying
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: the tourniquet.
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: I don't want that to be your aha moment, oh.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: The turn it guit. But yeah, I mean not having
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: a big support system, you know, but people around you
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: that have expectations, the financial pressure and look, I get it.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: Sometimes a job's job and you need the job, you know,
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: and you're able to do it and it's reliable income
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: and you're stagnant and you're like, look, I'm not fulfilled.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: It's not blowing my skirt up here, but I can
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: do it, and it pays some bills and I'm just
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: gonna stick to it. Okay, sometimes that's just what you
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: got to do. But if there was a therapist in
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: your life, I think they're going to say, great, let's
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: accept the things we cannot change, let's focus on things
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: we can. And that's where we're gonna get really interested
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: about your values. What's fulfilling for you? Do you need
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: other areas of your life to move forward? Depression, love, stagnation.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: So we always want to create some kind of movement,
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: some kind of momentum. And like Nick said, sometimes it's like, okay, look,
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: we're not going to try to change your life, but
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: let's change the way you're living your life. Let's just
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: create more self care. Like, let's just get you more
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: active physically, and let's see what that does. I mean,
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: the best pharmacy in the world is between your ears,
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: you know, And so I think unlocking that is a
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: huge idea.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: I love that Stary.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Do you don't know about Walgreens?
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: What?
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Good? Oh my god?
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But everything's locked behind a cage.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: You can't get anything out of there.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Now you just write a note. I think they just
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: have to give it something or you just take a hammer,
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: and they won't.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: They won't stop you on the way out.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Let them go.
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: No, I always feel a little silly, and I preface
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: this in session. I'm like, look, I know this sounds
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: like basic bitch info depending on the client, if.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: They let me say bitch, my name's Whitney.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: This sounds like basic bitch info.
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: But I'm like, let's if you're not exercising, I don't
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: even go into the diet stuff because whatever, I feel
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: like the movement is the most important thing, or just
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: getting outside. If you can't move, just go stand outside
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: in the sun. Like, let's just start with where we
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: can start. Let's start there, because I think sometimes people
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: kind of roll their eyes at that and it's like, no,
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: this feels bigger than just that. But I'm like, we
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: have to start at those basic levels to see how
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: you're feeling. Did it change anything? It didn't, All right,
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: let's try one other thing and then let's try this.
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: Let's try like they have to stack on each other
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: at least my experience, and.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: I've I and Jim brought up a really good point,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: which is the you know, the best pharmacy is in
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: your head, and you're a movement triggers all of this
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: because like if you, for example, exercise, if if you're
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: exercising and you're doing some uh some steady state cardio
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: and your body is starting to burn fat for fuel, right,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: the fat gets transported through your body on trip to
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: fan or not not a trip to fan, I'm sorry,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: on on on these transport proteins.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, idiot. So the first thing was the turkey even
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: I know that, but.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: No, but what happened No, but trip to fan is
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: where I'm going with this, Okay, because trip to fan
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: also gets transported on these transporter proteins along with the
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: fatty acids. Okay, so now it has to compete for spots.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: And what happens is then it creates it's a build
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: up in your bloodstream. So then what it does with
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: this is then it pushes it through your the blood
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: brain barrier into your brain, and then it goes to
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: your brain. And then this is actually the building block
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: trip to fantasy, building block for serotonin.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: So when you're working out, it's like eating turkey kind of.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's exactly like if that will get you to exercise, yes, yeah.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: No, the public campaign could be so good, kind of
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: work it out. I think that's what he's saying. Just
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: the anyway, writer, I love that you don't want to
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: have ass this. I like that you have high personal
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: standards and high personal expectations, especially in the field that
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: you're in. But I also feel for you when you're
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: feeling stuck and you know the wind's not in your sails,
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: there is the sense of taking your foot off the gas.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: And what I find is that whenever I notice people
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: are doing that, I don't want to enter them into
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: a discussion of self criticism and personal standards just because
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: I feel like beating that you know, person while they're
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: laying on the ground catching their breath never seems to motivate.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: I want to find their why. Ye, And that's the
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: discussion of values that I really want to have.
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that kind of uh plays into the expectations too.
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: I just feel like when we set these high expectations
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: for yourself or other we allow other people to set
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: those for us, and we listen to that and pay
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: and take that into too much of an account, then
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: we're going to be let down potentially, Like yeah, it
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: just sets you up for disappointment at times. So yeah,
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: setting those expectations. I think, like why it kind of
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: goes into what you said, just more like exploring, more
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: like exploring what do you want to do and.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: Not humans need that. If we don't have that, we
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: do not succeed. Well, we are going to take a
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: quick break, but first we want to remind you this
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: show is brought to you by Planet Fitness, Planet Fitness
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: thanks to the Endless Turkey, the fact every day is
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Thanksgiving at Planet Fitness, Pizza, Planet Type in pod Therapy
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: it checked out.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Jake Schneider, Melia,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Richard Macy's Funny Boy, Thunder Cougar Falcons, Group, Start Pacai, Motherfucker,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Sandra Big Waffle, Elena and Sam Cohne. And if you
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: would like to sponsor the show, become a therap producer
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Patreons dot com, slash Therapy, walka WALKA.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: The other day Peter is watching Future Amen had the
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: one with thunder Cougar Falcon.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: Like Thunder Cougar Falcon.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Scoot All right, Jacob, Oh, what's our topic?
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: Right?
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Nineteen eighties? Are we still doing the eighties? Yeah?
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: We're gonna wrap up the eighties today and if we
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: got time, maybe getting into the nineties. We'll see, all right.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I saw we got a new one about eighties movie quotes.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah we got that too, Okay.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, smooth, all right?
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: In what year did MTV Music Television Thank You officially.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: Launched Emmazon Mancy, famously.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Kicking off with the video video the Radio Star by
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: the Bugles.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: When did what year did that go? He gets multiple
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: choice if he wants it right, yes, or he can
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: shoot for two. Yeah. I don't know the year.
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, take I could have told you. Video Killed the
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: Radio Star was the first video they played.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Seventy nine, eighty one, eighty three, eighty five.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Well, seventy nines of Red Herring. Because this is eighties
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: trivia or.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Is it.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Diabolical mastermind? I mean, what were the last two?
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Eighty three, eighty five?
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: That seems late. I'll go eighty three. It is eighty one,
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: It is eighty one. It had to be early eighties.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: No.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Jimothy, which nineteen eighty two Disney movie starred Jeff Bridges
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: as a computer programmer, is digitized into a video game.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: Like work for two points.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: It is options. Here was Flight of the Navigator? Do
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: you remember that one.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that was great. Yeah, that movie is fantastic.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Is that the one where the kid makes a bubble
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: around himself of energy and goes into space. No, it's
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: a Fred Savage The Wonder Years. I believe it is.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: I believe it's Fred Savage. His grandpa's reading him a
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: book about it. Yeah, as you then confavable?
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: All right? Wait. Nineteen eighty five, more than in nineteen
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: eighty five, more than forty famous singers recorded We Are
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: the World to raise money for African famine relief under
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: what collective name? Did they release?
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: The trow Wow?
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: Oh man, I feel like I'm gonna all get options,
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: but I feel like I'll know when.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Okay. USA for Africa, Live Aid Collective, band Aid, the.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: Super group, What was the what was the question?
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: Uh?
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: We Are the World? What was the name that they are? Collectively?
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Released the track un her huh Live Live Aid Collective?
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: That feels right? No, damn?
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: What were the options? Again? USA for Africa one?
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: Ye, US, it's USA for Africa. Yeah, USA, that's a Bankay,
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: here we go, We're gonna go.
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: Joey Kramer, by the way, he was in Fight of
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: the Navigator, not Fred Savage. Definitely kind of looks like
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: Fred Savage. I don't feel too bad for not knowing.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Except your Oh here we go, Jacob nineteen eighty five
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: cult favored adventure film produced by Steven Spielberg, followed a
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: group of kids on a quest to find a pirate treasure.
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Jim, I thought you were about to say space Camp,
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: and I was very excited describe space Camp, Yeah.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Jim, which Los Angeles based glam metal band gained massive
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: fame in the eighties with hits like Doctor Feel Good, Girls.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls have no Clue. I'll give
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: you a hint, still doesn't help. Give me up. Watch
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: a good one.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Poisonty Crue, Deaf Leopard, or Rat.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: These are all real bands. Though.
• 28:30
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I know I was saying it. I stated, I
• 28:37
  Speaker 6: was letting you know in case you didn't know. F
• 28:40
  Speaker 6: y I all real bands. Okay, all right, there's a
• 28:43
  Speaker 6: band called.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Rat R T T RAT realized the poets give me
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: Motley Crue.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: Motley Whitney which street dance style born in the seventies
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: and wildly popularized in the eighties through music videos and films,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: involves fluid, robotic like movements and illusionary effects it better.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: Not all right, robot, question.
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: The robot, give me options?
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Ballroom mambo, popping and locking or salsack?
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: Nope, it's always salsa.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do it.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: It was timeless.
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: It was probably the second wait, read me the options again.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Ballroom mambo?
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: Tak, mom, that's what I'm taking?
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: Are you really taking?
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: Popping in locking?
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Wow, I don't know what just happened. It's like she
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: just got on the skateboard and then just face plants
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: because I want to is memorable because it was not
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: released in eighties. You and I are not that old,
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: so you chose very Uh, she's drunk, she is three
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: glasses in now and most of the van. All right,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: was that first round?
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: That's first round?
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: And I am off to a commanding lead, loving it.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: Imposter syndrome from Adam. Hi, everyone, I am going to
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: be entering the job market later this year because I'm moving.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: I've only had one job since graduating ten years ago,
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: and I didn't need to apply because it was a
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: family friend. I got a degree in digital media production,
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: but have no desire to work in that field and
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: have been trying to determine what I might want to
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: do career wise. For several months. Jim's advice in a
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: previous episode about the Ownett interest profiler and amptitude test
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: oh oh oh net career profiler an aptitude test was
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: really helpful, but most of what came back for me
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: was in the science field and would involve additional schooling
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: to be at the compensation level I'm used to. I've
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: been doing all of the payroll and accounting for a
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: year and a half at my current company, but I
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: feel unqualified to apply for those positions since I don't
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: I didn't actually go to school for them.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: I didn't.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I have no problem doing it now and make
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: next to no mistakes, but I just can't get over
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: the feeling that I can't do that role at a
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: different company. I feel like I only have this job
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: because of my family connection. I mean, I have a
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: proven track record that I can do the work, and
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: my boss has said that I do a great job.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: I've essentially been running half of this company for two years,
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: but can't figure out how to even start putting that
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: on a resume. What are some tips or advice for
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: overcoming imposter syndrome or increasing my self confidence in general?
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: How do I keep motivation and confidence up, even if
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: it takes months and possibly many rejections to find a
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: new job. Thanks in advance, Adam.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: You stand in front of the mirror with your hands
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: over your head.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: Mm now repose.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how you build confident.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, next question, nude, is that is that part
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: of it?
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: If you choose, you choose, Yeah.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: It's going to help your confidence.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: If the lights are off, you know, mirror daring in
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: that dark mirror, imagining what I want to imagine. That
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: is the definition of building. Imagining the void. Yeah, seeing
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: the man I need to become.
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: No, for real, I feel like impostor syndrome again. So relatable.
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: Uh man, we start dabbling into the the fake it
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: till you make it.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: We go drink.
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: Yes, we're all taking it right, you have everyone here,
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: We're all faking it all every time.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Every time. My writer's name is Pete, No, her husband's
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: name is Pete, and the shouting out to Adam writer's name, Adam.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: My entire career is based on fatal till you make it. Yes,
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: give give Adam your backstory because you relate to this
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: one hundred.
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: My whole career literally like the way I started doing
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: sound for shows. Is I was working on this show
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: and the sound person quit.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: This is thirty years ago.
• 33:24
  Speaker 6: It should have been like seven weeks ago, twenty some odd.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: Quite thirty years ange years old. Scott was our first
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: audio engineering pod therapy. He left. We gave Jacob a shot. Yeah,
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: we gave him his big break.
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: But I mean it was twenty some odd years ago,
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: early two thousands. I was still doing like on stage
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: stuff and everything and doing some backstage stuff. And literally
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: they were like the sound guy we remember they quit
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: or they fired and fired him or whatever. But they
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: were like, hey, we got get a new sound guy
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: to run the show. And I was like, I can
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: do it.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: You just threw it out there. I had never done it.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: I was like, I can do it, and I was.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: I was fairly confident that I could do it. I
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: believe that I was able to do it.
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: Remembered how to make it go, Like I had the
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: theories and I had the knowledge of like how the
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: equipment worked.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: I just hadn't put it all together. But to be
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: clear to the writer, you did not go to school
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: for that. No, I would school to be an actor.
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: I went to school, like my degree was performance theater
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: because that's what I was still doing when I was
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: heading to college and then kind of got out of
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: it and got into the backstage stuff in college. But
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: I mean, this was my first that was the first
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: time that I had actually run a show top to bottom.
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: And to this day, the people who who owned the show,
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: the people who were my bosses, had no idea that
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: I had zero experience and did.
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: They just needed someone.
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: They needed somebody and I and you know, the first day,
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: I was like, well I did it.
• 34:59
  Speaker 5: In your in that moment, if you can think back
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: to thirty some odd years.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: Ago, I believe it years ago, sixty years ago, was
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: doing a phonograph that is just broadcast year. The sound
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: guy was just a guy in the acoustics just moving
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: shit around.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Well, they just invented sound and week yeah.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: He just used paving amphitheaters.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: It's right doing And you kind of answered this a
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: little bit.
• 35:25
  Speaker 5: But as much as you can recall, what, how do
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: you get to that point where you say I can
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: do that?
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: Was it? Oh, I can do some of this and
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: hope for the best. Like what kind of I.
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: Mean I had it in my mind how I believed
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: I could do it okay, And I'm pretty sure that
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: if I do all these things then this will just
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: work and I'll be able to do this. Uh. And
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: then like through the years I learned technique and that
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: I did like Broadway stuff and that kind of thing.
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: And and like over the years I really picked up
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: a lot of things and had various mentors and people
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: like that that that showed me more detailed stuff and
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: it's like, oh, you're trying to do this, but if
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: you do it this way, it'll it'll work a lot
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: better and it'll be easier on you. And you know,
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: little tips and tricks like that. I would say with
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: with imposter syndrome, though, don't do it yourself. You're doing
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: that work. You're doing a lot of work yourself against yourself.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: If somebody else is going to come up to you
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: and say you're doing accounting, and uh, at the very
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: while you're doing the accounting, at the very least, you
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: should be confident in yourself say I know how to
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: do this.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: It is not even confidence. Confidence is the wrong word.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: It is more self talk.
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: I feel like just saying I'm going to do.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: This, it's well, it's it's assuredness. Yes, and it is
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: you know I I know that.
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: So the writer said, Adam, I continue the name.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: I don't know why.
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like Adam said, uh, you know I do
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: this accounting work. I don't make mistakes. It is all correct,
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: so you know that it's right. So if somebody else
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: is going to come up to you and demand the
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: degree or demand some qualification that you don't have, let
• 37:02
  Speaker 4: them worry about that. Okay, worry about what you're comfortable with.
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: Think about what, like, here are the things that I'm
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: comfortable with. Here are the types of jobs that I
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: can do. Here's what I here, Here's what I know
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: that I know how to do. And start there. Don't
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: start with let me think about the jobs that I
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: have the on paper qualifications for right, start with what
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: do I know that I know I can do?
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: So I want to zoom in on your career and
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: use it as a example for Adam. So you get
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: into this by accident, just like Adam. You build up
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: a little bit of a tenure, You're starting to build
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: up your skills, just like Adam. Then the day comes
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: where you say, I want to hold myself out to
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: some open positions as an audio engineer, yeah, but I
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: know some of the other people competing they have the pedigree,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: they have the story that says I went to school
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: for this, I am a technical knowledge guy, like this
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: is my background. This still happens to me.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: Today that the whole degree.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. Yeah. So then you're realizing, Okay, now I'm at
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: this part of my career where I've picked up on this.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: I'm enjoying this. I feel like I have a leg
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: to stand on. But now I need to convince the
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: employers that I'm worthy When the guys I'm competing against
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: or women, they have the pedigree and I don't have
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: that pedigree. Adam's in that position where he's saying, man,
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: that feels weird. I feel like I don't belong in
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: their weight class. Take us into that story and how
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: you overcame that.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: I can't worry about everybody else.
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: I can't worry about all the people that have degrees
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: and various qualifications on paper and all these things. I
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: can look at them and go like, you know, can
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: you do this?
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: Great?
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: You're probably good enough to the job. Then I think
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: I'm also good enough dough the job.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: It's whatever people want, right and I have to leave
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: that up to them because I can't control that.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: I agree with that because I know people that have
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: looked at jobs and will say like, oh, I can't
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: do this, I'm not qualified to do this.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: They don't even apply.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right then, Number one, no one's qualified for the
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: job they apply for. And number two, it's not your
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: job to say that you're not qualified. Yeah, let them
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: tell you you're qualify.
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: The first interview I may have told this story on
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: the air before, but the first interview that I ever
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: had for a Broadway show.
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: So honest, I spoiler.
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: I got the job, but you know that that kicked
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: off my career kind of as it is right now,
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: that that was the first of like that level of shot.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: From that point on, you had that on the resume.
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: Now I'm going to school. From that point on, I
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: never wrote another resume. That was the last time that
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: I handed someone a resume was that interview, right And
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: it was still the worst interview I believe I've ever
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: had in my life. I left that interview thinking that
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: I had not gotten it at all, and then I
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: actually called a few days later.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: To be like, hey, I got this other job offer.
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: It was for another thing that I really didn't care
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: about or didn't want to do especially, but like I
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: was like, here's another job.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: It's fine.
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: It was like running bands in a in a lounge
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: setting type thing, so not terrible or anything, and still
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: in the in the same general field, but not what.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be doing either. And I called him
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: up and.
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: Was like, Hey, I've got this other job offer. I'm
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: gonna take it. I interviewed with you guys the other day,
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: and I just wanted to call and make sure that
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: I'm not getting this job before I take the other one.
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: The response was, Oh, we were gonna call you today.
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: We would like to offer you the job.
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, wow, shit, surprise, Okay, yeah.
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: And it turns out there were a couple of lines
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: on my resume that the main guy liked, and it
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: was like, oh, he's done these couple of things that
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: exp and it was things that I would not have
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: tied to the position that they were interviewing me for,
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: which was to run the run the shows every that's
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: exactly it, because they really they looked at it, and
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: they looked at two lines on my resume that I
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: did not believe really tied into what they were looking for.
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: But he looked at that and said, well, if he
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: did this job on this type of show, then that
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: means he was doing X, Y and Z. Those skills
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: right there will transfer into this.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: I want to give this guy a shot doing this.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: Very cool, and it had nothing to.
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: Do I mean, I interviewed, I did whatever I did,
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: but honestly, I don't think it had to do with
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: that interview or any kind of attitude that I brought
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: to it. It was just they made the decision based
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: on things that I was not thinking about, and that
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: was it.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Well, we should also point out your resume is just
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: a head shot, and I think that that helps.
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: Which line on it was.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: The line of coke under his No, it was not
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: watery coke. I love this point, and this is a
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: great piece of advice, I think generally, because sometimes when
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: we're writing these resumes, we're thinking, oh, what, my education
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: doesn't tell this narrative story. But I love your point there, Jacob,
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: which is sometimes with these technical roles explaining the areas
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: of mastery that you have, like referencing internal jargon. These
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: are the things I know how to do that are
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: part of this macro industry. Here are tools that I
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: consider myself adept at. Here's functions and processes that I
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: have a lot of experience with and know what the
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: expectations are. And like you know, using chat GPT too
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: to help you, like shine that up a little bit
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: and say, tonight, you better believe I'd be using to
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: give me different why over the tools that are available? Yeah,
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: and Adam, I think that that's a huge step forward
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: into and also using that to reverse engineer the imposter
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: syndrome too, to really ask yourself, well, but I do
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: know these things, like all the things I'm gonna listen
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: on this resume. Yes, I've put my hand on. Yes
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: I know how to functionally do I'm competent. I know
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: how to do these things. And then taking a beat
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: to realize, wow, I do know how to do these things.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Does Adam tell us how old he is and the letter?
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: I don't think we can graduated ten years ago?
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, so early thirties yea. So maybe maybe you're in
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: an age where you're starting to learn. I don't know
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: what your what your whole background is.
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: Something that I have discovered as an adult is that
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: most adults are idiots.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: And look at all these.
• 43:22
  Speaker 4: People out there doing things that I don't know how
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: to do. But most of the people doing those things
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: are idiots.
• 43:29
  Speaker 5: Yes, people they're doing money, I swear are the biggest city.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: I've noticed that too, Like I mean just within like
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: business like people who are CEOs, yes, coos, all the
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: C suite people that you kind of like until you
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: are in that you look at them and think like, Wow,
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: they got their ship together, they know what we're doing.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: And then you're they're really like.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: Oh shit, I don't know, y'all. I don't I could
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: do this, you know.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: And I can relate to the imposter syndrome definitely with
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: with with fitness. No, I'm not a.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: Fittness imposter in your syndrome, so close.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, Uh No, I can definitely get that, like
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: when when talking to other personal trainers and stuff, or
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: when I'm at the gym and like now, like when
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: I first started at this gym that I rent space from,
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: I was like the only trainer there, you know, and
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: so no one, I'm not impostering anybody that anybody's gonna notice. Oyeay.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: And now we've got a team and there's like five
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: of us, and so now I'm just I'm always like worried,
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: and they were watching me. Yeah, and uh. And then
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: at one point, you know, I was talking to one
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: of the guys. I was just kind of asking some
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: questions and whatnot, and you know, he kind of asked you.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: I must have said something, but Kenny like, oh, how
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: long have you been doing this? And I was like, oh,
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: you know, like a year and a half, two years whatever.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: He's like, oh shit, I thought you've been doing this
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: for like fifteen years. Like I've been watching you and
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: you seem to know what you're doing. Oh that's awesome.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: But the point that's going to kill you make impostor
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: syndrome isn't necessarily or isn't one hundred percent a bad thing, right, okay,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: because it does motivate you to learn more about your
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: craft exactly. Like I have studied really hard to become
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: better at at fitness and become a better personal trainer
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: because I'm so worried about other people judging me that
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: I've thrown myself into this. And I'm like, and now
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: when I have conversations with other people, I realize, like, oh,
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: they don't know a lot of this stuff, right, I know.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: And I think also having a wealth of knowledge, like
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: Adam talks about getting a degree in digital media. I'm
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: a big fan of people who end up in a
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: career but had a first career, A huge fan of
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: discovering people like that.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: I think the big thing that you learn in college,
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: the most important thing is critical thinking, right, forget about
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: the topic, about the subject. You learn how to analyze
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: a problem and look for a solution. That's what college
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: is all.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: I love that, and like I've like in my story,
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: I was a high school teacher my first career in
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: my twenties, I was for eight years. I was a
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: school teacher, like I thought that was going to be
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: the profession, and like then ended up going into mental health.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: But like having a first act, I think really changed
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: what I can offer as a therapist and gave me
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: some special insights that maybe up here wouldn't have because
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: I've had some lived experiences that I think are relevant.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: Or even working for the bad guys, working for the
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: insurance companies and then switching hats and saying, you know
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: what a lot, I'm going to fight injustice for a
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: living instead of being a part of the evil system.
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: You know, it was a good I'm glad he came
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: to the light. You know, everybody eventually, you know, But
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: like this, I think, Adam, I think that this is
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: a half whole kind of thing. I think you're a
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: stronger candidate because you were not baked in this one
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: mold all along. That you discovered it and you had
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: to answer questions a lot of times on your own
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: and discover functional ways to do it. Like when you
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: teach somebody how to engineer a car, that's one way
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: of thinking. They memorized what you taught them, and they
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: put into practice. When somebody else had to invent that
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: shit themselves through trial and error like you did, they
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: have a different kind of knowledge. So I think that
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: that's a tremendous asset that you have. But no, I
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: mean altogether, you know, I would say a couple of
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: things on this. Do Jacob's theory of like in your
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: resume presentation and the way you're presenting yourself to others,
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: focus on the skills you have mastered and named those things,
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: name the processes the things you can do, and put
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: that resume out there. You talk about how do I
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: endure defeat If I'm going to be rejected and rejected
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: and rejected. First off, I think you're being really pessimistic
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: on yourself. I think that you're assuming that so many
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: people have these skills that there's just like this embarrassment
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: of riches of people applying on all these jobs. I
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: don't think that's the case. I think that you're talking
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: about some very refined things. You have practical and applied
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: skills at them. And I think that when you get
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: those out there, you're going to start finding industries that
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: are really giving you second looks, and that's going to
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: start refining your searches, and that's going to start showing
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: you like, Okay, I want to start focusing more in
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: this area. And maybe because of the family ties, like okay,
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: I know how to work for more entrepreneurial people or
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: family owned businesses or people that are more like about
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: the relationship. And man, I tell you what. We had
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: somebody right in a while ago about a family business
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: that they own and they wanted to leave the family business.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: Remember this was the son of the family. He was
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: doing all this work and he wanted to leave, and
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: the family would not hire an accountant or anybody to
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: do all the math because they didn't trust not to
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: get robbed. And you know, like Adam, you can't put
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: a price on that. There's no amount of education that
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: could make a family business feel safe. But because you
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: have that human side where like you've integrated into like
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: the relationship side of a business, you might have so
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: much to offer that is intangible that doesn't show up
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: as just what you went to school for, but it's
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: the stuff that shows up in the story that you
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: tell and the relationships you've built where you were at.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: So you're selling yourself short man. And I think that
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: once you're getting out there and you're applying this stuff
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: and you're trying this stuff, yes you're gonna get back.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: Yes you're gonna get you know some nose. It's gonna suck.
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: It is Never drop an application and tell yourself this
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: is the one. It's gonna happen. It's do or die.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: This is perfect.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: Setting the expectations.
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, set them low. You're gonna feel like the first
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: you're gonna go through them and you're gonna get stingy
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: in the beginning. Back. I don't wan to apply to
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: all ten of these. That is, Oh, I love this
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: one out of ten. I really want this one out
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: of ten. I tell people like, yeah, hit somemit on that,
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: and hit smit on three more for every one you love,
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: hit three that you're not in love with, but exist,
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: if only to sharpen your interview skills, even if you
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: know I'm not taking it. If they call me great,
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: get on the zoom, start the interview process, get a
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: feel for the industry questions that are gonna be asked,
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: use it as a warm up, get some at bats,
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: and then decline the offer when it comes in, and
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: keep searching. But I mean, just get out there and
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: try at them. That's how you're gonna find out what
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: the market once. Let other people tell you.
• 49:51
  Speaker 4: No, yeah, if you don't need to tell yourself now, yeah,
• 49:55
  Speaker 4: let them do it.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: That's their job.
• 49:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, and you're not responsible for their answer, responsible
• 50:00
  Speaker 5: for what you put on your resume and you and
• 50:02
  Speaker 5: chat gpt.
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: Ye anyway, Adam, good luck with this. We believe in you,
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: and we can't wait to hear about the new job
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: that you get and then to see those big fat
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: Patreon support checks coming on through. Get that money. B
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: We're gonna take quick breaking when we come back. We're
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: talking about narratives in therapy. You're listening to pod therapy.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Jake Schneider, Maliah,
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: Richard Mason, Sunny Boy, Thunder Cougar Falcon, Scoop Slerpick, I
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: Am Motherfucker, Sandra mclaffell, Elena and Sam count And if
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: you would like to sponsor the show to become a therapy,
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: sure at patreon dot com s slash therapy. All right,
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: here we go.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: All right, I'm winning.
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: Hold on the name of the game.
• 50:45
  Speaker 7: I win.
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: That is the name of this game.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: Jacob Okay, which collectible plush toys became a national obsession
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: in the nineties, with some people even uh oh storing
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: them in protective cases.
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: Bullshit, the Goonies and now.
• 51:06
  Speaker 7: This, Yeah, the Goonies was such a gimma. I thought
• 51:10
  Speaker 7: it was going to be Space Camp, but I was
• 51:12
  Speaker 7: really excited that it was gonna be space Camp from
• 51:14
  Speaker 7: the head, what's it gonna be? This is the Beanie Babies.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: It is, yeah, Cabbage past Kids, which would have been
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: eighties Beanie Babies, care Bears, Pound Puppies. I tell you
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: I was a care bear for Halloween one year.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: I believe three oh it's been sent Carrie sent it
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: to us. I believe it's on our Instagram.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: Probably. Yeah, I was the pink one. Yeah, I was
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: a Pink care bear.
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: The pink career.
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, betre If I followed your social media, don't I
• 51:49
  Speaker 4: know about it?
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: Don't worry, no, no sense starting now.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: This is this is a real test for Jacob, Like
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: I want to see the picture. Well, we should want
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: to follow.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: We should post all the answers to the trivia on
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: the Instagram and then just see if he gets any
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: of I don't have a single shot.
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: You have a single shot. You're making?
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: Which high school focused TV drama set in a wealthy
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: Californian neighbors prepared nineteen ninety.
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: Teacher pops a test. You know you're in a mess
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: and you dog all your homework last night.
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: That's a jim. That's it.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, Saved by the Bell's all right?
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: Because that was not can I still not?
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: No, obviously, damn it.
• 52:37
  Speaker 5: I thought Saved by the Bell at first. Then he
• 52:39
  Speaker 5: said California.
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, there in Californian. I think Save
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: by the Bell was also in California.
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: It was Bayside the zip code?
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, well, Yeah, wealthy California neighborhood.
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, wealthy.
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: I think that was what I was saved by the
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: Bell in the options, would it at least have deceived me?
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: No, Ship Dawson's Creek, Beverly Hills nine or two and oero.
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: Oh say, by the way Bell, then I would have
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: fallen and Buffy the Vampires. I was going.
• 53:06
  Speaker 4: The Bell, even though it's a nineties was set in
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: the fictional California town of Palisades.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: Wait, what that's really weird? That is weird.
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: Maybe it became Is it fictional.
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: Because it no longer exists? Like?
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: Is that?
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: Did they Wikipedia edit that Palisades?
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: Who was named after Saved by the Bell? Oh? Yeah,
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: in honor?
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: In honor?
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah? All right?
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: What Whitney okay.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: Which nineteen ninety seven epic film by James Cameron starring
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: Leo and Kate became one of the highest grossing movies
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: of all time.
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: Correct, Yes, they call it Palisades.
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: Are we moving forward? Yeah?
• 53:53
  Speaker 4: So it was a fictionalized version of Palisades, that's what
• 53:56
  Speaker 4: they meane.
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: Okay, so we entered into a nineties trivia it Okay,
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: I didn't catch that.
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: There's hope, got it?
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: We did, all right, moving on, I'm gonna have to
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: save some of these.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: Ooh, you can't punt the next show on that Give
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: it to me, Give it to Jacob.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: Which bright green, highly caffeinated soft drink was introduced by
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: Coca Cola in nineteen ninety seven. Continued, gotta be modern
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: come back. Yeah, that surge, it was serge. It was
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: fucking good though.
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: I love my brother was obsessed with.
• 54:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that was a big deal at my I think
• 54:35
  Speaker 4: my junior high.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: I feel like it is the closest thing we have
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: to slurm from Futurama. It's just clearly addictive and clearly
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: horrible for you.
• 54:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I love then, said Mountain Deler, and he's wearing
• 54:47
  Speaker 5: all green.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: Like I am.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my thing. Okay, we'll knock out this last too,
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: which egg shaped digital pet form.
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: Correct, Yes, nice arabs which hugely baggy jean style.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: And raved culture from the night.
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Correct. They get a whole foot long sub in
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: those beads, a pair of Jinkos that you could fit
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: a two liters coke in the back pocket.
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to see Jacob.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: Coke and just just slide it right in the back pocket.
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: Pocket Instagram account, nostalgia.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: Coke Classic Coke, Cokey Coke al. Yes, we're all doing
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: well except for me with that whole belt. It's all right.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: Narratives in therapy from Dale the King, Hello, Nick, Jacob Whitney,
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: and fellow Colonel Jim Well. I didn't realize Dale was
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: in the club.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: Dale.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: It's doctor. Oh doctor Jim. It's fine. I'm done with
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: that title anyway. Colonel. Now, I don't give you a ship.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: I've been seeing my therapist who all called Greg. You
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: don't have to keep anonymous, stale, but whatever, Greg, for
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: about three and a half years.
• 56:04
  Speaker 4: You don't have any hip hops you don't.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: Have Oh that's true, even hiding it, okay, who all
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: called Greg for about three and a half years, and
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: we've developed a fantastic working relationship. I saw two therapists
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: before Greg, with moderate success, but nothing like the results
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: I've seen since. When looking for a new therapist. Greg's
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: website really spoke to me and made clear that his
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: personal philosophy mirrors the research that the most critical element
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: for success in the therapy is the relationship between practitioner
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: and patient. I felt so strongly about this that I
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: put myself on his wait list for a couple months,
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: waiting for a spot to open up. All this to
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: say I feel extremely grateful to be working with Greg.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: About six weeks ago, I got an email from Greg
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: stating that he had very suddenly been diagnosed with an
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: illness that required emergency surgery, an extended recovery, and even
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: if successful, might force Greg into immediate retirement. He warned
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: me not to expect an update for a while, and
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: I knew that, since he runs a solo practice with
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: no administrative support, if things went badly, I would never
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: hear from him again. It's fair to say that this
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: has shaken me quite a bit. I've been going through
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: a challenging spell in my life, and therapy has been
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: key to helping me deal. I haven't been feeling my
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: best and have often been overwhelmingly emotional about the potential
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: loss of this relationship that has helped me through so much.
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: Many aspects of the situation have been hard. For one thing,
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: Greg's illness is the same one that claimed one of
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: my grandfathers, and that loss is something that Greg has
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: helped me come to terms with. Add In the uncertainty
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: around if I would ever hear from Greg again, and
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: the daunting prospect of having to start fresh with a
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: new therapist. It's easy to admit that I've been upset. Fortunately,
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: about a week ago Greg got in touch. He let
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: me know that the procedure went very well and after
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: a few complications, he's expected to recover about as well
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: as could be hoped. He even plans on resuming his
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: practice again in a few months once he's more fully recovered,
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: and he wants to continue working with me if I'm interested,
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: which of course I am. In his initial message informing
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: me of the emergency, Greg stated that he decided to
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: share some of the specific details of his situation despite
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: not wanting to flip the therapeutic narrative and cause me
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: or his other patients to worry about his well being.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: I'm afraid I've been doing exactly that. Not only was
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: I worried about him during the weeks when he was
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: out of touch, but I continue to worry about him now.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking things like, how can I bring up relatively
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: minor challenges like those I experience at work when I
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: know he was just fighting for his life? Or is
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: he spending an hour working with me because he can't retire,
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: even though he should for his own sake. I know
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: very well the kinds of things he would say if
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: I brought these worries up to him, that people can
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: only play the hand that they're dealt, and that true
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: comparisons aren't fair or even really possible. But those truths
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: aren't making much headway. It's also challenging because on some level,
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: I feel like once we resume therapy, I won't be
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: able to be honest about how hard this has been
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: without making him feel guilty for an illness that wasn't
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: his fault, or flipping the therapeutic relationship. I understand that
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: this relationship is not a friendship or anything. He provides
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: health care to me, but I can't deny the fact
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: that I care deeply about this relationship and him. Any
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: advice or feedback you can share on the situation or
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: my thoughts and feelings would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: the novel, I'll do you a favor and save a
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: few words by not even trying to trigger one of
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: Colonel Jim's pronunciation land minds. Sincerely, Dale the King, this is.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: A really good question. It is like we've had a
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: question like, yah, it is how.
• 59:44
  Speaker 5: How much do you disclose on things like that when
• 59:48
  Speaker 5: you have to disrupt therapy? Yeah, or maybe you haven't
• 59:52
  Speaker 5: had to, but like when whether it's your own medical
• 59:56
  Speaker 5: reasons or like I find like loss in family or
• 59:59
  Speaker 5: like stress full family situations, like my mom was just
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 5: recently in the hospital, so I traveled, but I kept
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 5: some of my appointments and when I was in a
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 5: different location than client's comment, they're like, oh, your background
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 5: or you know, things like that. So that's hard, which
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 5: I'll tell you what I shared a minute, but what's.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: Your So philosophically, there's a debate about this. Yes, there's
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: a strict side that says, look, we shouldn't disclose things
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: and and kind of for the reasons that Dale talks about,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: you know, that's like, hey, even though we might value honesty,
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: and even though these are humans that care about us
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: and we want to, you know, contribute to the truth
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: of the relationship and reveal what's going on with us,
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: we inherently start tipping their boat when we do that,
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: and that's going to make it hard to resume care.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: That's going to interfere with care. So there's a strict
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: side that says, don't disclose it all. There's another side
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: that kind of goes the opposite direction, that says no.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: So much of this relationship relies on of theicity and
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: being genuine that it's okay to let them see you
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: bleed as long as you can still provide care. If
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: you can't, then you need to like pull away and
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: say I'm sorry, we need to discontinue service for a
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: period of time, or I need to refer you away.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: And here's the reason why. So there's two different camps
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: on this. I have had opportunities to experience both, and
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: it's case by case. Like I mean, we went through
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: a miscarriage at one point, and that happened in the
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: middle of my therapeutic day, and I wasn't going to
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: cancel the patients because so much was happening right then
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: that I just didn't feel that was moral or ethical
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: or right. But I was also hurting. And then you know,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: later people were like, well, you had a responsibility to
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: end those sessions because you weren't capable of doing it,
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: And I kind of looked at that and said, you're right,
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: except I was capable of doing it, but you could.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you ask them if I was okay,
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: they might seem you're a little off, like is everything okay?
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: I could have just gotten a parking ticket, like you know,
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: I could have like allergies, like anything could be a
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: factor in there. And I think like an eighty percent
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: strong therapist is better than no therapist. And I didn't
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: have a predictable thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Canceling
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: last second when they're on the drive there is unpredictable too.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: I think there's another really important factor here, though, is
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: with Greg being in private practice and not having any
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: administrative support right right, because that makes a difference, like
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: if something did happen and he just disappears, is better
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: for the patient? I think that was probably just as.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: Dan, That's absolutely true. That's a really good point, you know,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: because like, yeah, we're both in private practice. Yeah, and
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: I've run this scenario through my mind, you know, trying
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: to anticipate big things that are going on in the
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: world or something like that, or you know, whenever family's
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: dealing with something, or you're thinking like, Okay, this is
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: my week, looks like but I'm in the hospital with
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: this person right now, like what are we going to do?
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: And it is tricky because you're right, nick Like, sometimes
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: it's like it's kind of like because I brought up
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: the miscarriage, you know, there was this after our miscarriage,
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: we have another pregnancy that's her daughter, and we were
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: scared to tell anybody in our family and friends, as
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: many people are after a miscarriage. But at some point
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: we realized, if we have a second miscarriage, we are
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: going to be devastated. So hiding it from other people
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: is only denying them an understanding of what the hell's
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: wrong with us? Right, They're gonna see something's wrong with us.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: I can't hide that, so they may as well know
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: what's going on. And I can see that similar logic
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: with Greg and the relationship with with Dale as well,
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: that it's like, look, either there's going to be an
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: interruption of care or I'm gonna be out and I'm
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: gonna come back, and I may be on the mend,
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: I may not be the same guy, And I don't
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: want to leave it all a mystery, right, because then
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: that could be worse for the person too, And it's
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: like better to just inform them that way, you're treating
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: them like an adult and like yeah, and then Dale's right,
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: there is going to be some disruption, But I could
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: also see the argument that so be it, there is
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: no path where we're not disrupted. I am going through
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: a health emergency. I may die right and like I'm sorry,
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: but like we're going to You're gonna have to decide
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: for yourself, Dale, is this relationship still is a wounded
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: me still better than a perfectly healthy other therapist who
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: doesn't have what we share? Or is my wound in
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: my challenges so distracting to you that you feel that
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: it's damaged to your ability to do good therapy with me?
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: And do you need to try somebody else?
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 4: And is that something you just that you would just
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 4: ask the client I give permission to do that.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: I'd give him permission to do it. I would definitely
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: say something that.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 4: You would bring up to them, or would you wait
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 4: for them to bring it up to you.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: I'm happy to talk about it with them if they
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: do bring it up. I wouldn't proactively bring it up
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: because I wouldn't want to plant the thought because if
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 2: they're thinking, no, this is so great, I'm so excited
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: to reconnect with you. And sure, Jim, I do have
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: a million questions about your health. How much am I
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: allowed to ask what's going like that? I think that's
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: now if they feel like they're doing fine. Yeah, if
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: they say this is working for.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 4: Me, they might say to themselves like Jim seems a
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 4: loll off, right, but that's okay.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: I can tell that he's still recovering, he winces in
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: pain a little bit or whatever, like I mean, Dale says, look,
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: I had two other therapists before this, like your special
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 2: and I want to work with you. Like okay, fair enough.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 5: Two thoughts I had on just Dale's question. One is
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 5: I actually encourage maybe talking to the therapist about it,
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 5: like especially if you'll have worked together for three and
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 5: a half years. I'm thinking about my more long term
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 5: clients and if they just came into session and said, hey,
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 5: you know all the things you said, like I I'm
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 5: because we have this relationship, I'm feeling for you more.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 5: I I don't know how impactful that is to this dynamic.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 5: That gives your therapist Greg a chance to kind of
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 5: step in, even if you're saying I know what he's
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 5: gonna say. It gives him a chance to step in
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 5: and do his job right or not. You know if
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 5: he's really, you know, messed up about something or other,
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 5: like that'll give you more clarity one way or another.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 5: If you feel better after that situation, great, If you don't,
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 5: then pay attention to that and you can make a
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 5: more educated decision on if you want to continue working
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 5: with them or not, if you feel like it's beneficial
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 5: or not. And the second thing is you are not
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 5: responsible for Greg's feelings, and I just really have to
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 5: enforce that, like, he is your therapist and you can
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 5: care for him. But I feel a lot of you
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 5: taking on like that care for his feelings, like treating
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 5: him with kid gloves almost is how I hear this letter,
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 5: and that's where I think the communication comes into place.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: I love your suggestion of revealing what you are in
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: that moment, authentically feeling, which is very Carl Rogers. Yeah,
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: you know, and he would argue, don't be scared. This
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: is going to hurt the relationship. Tell Greg, Tell Greg, Greg,
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: I was so scared I was going to lose you.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: And right now I'm feeling a mix of emotions and
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: you've taught me to talk through this, and I'm going
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: to honor your teachings by revealing the mix of complex
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: and contradictory feelings I have right now. I'm scared that
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna hurt you.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 3: Are you okay? Do you feel like you have to
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: be here.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna talk to you about how I had a
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: bad lunch and ruined my week and you're getting chemo,
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: you know, and like I feel pretty weird about that, Greg,
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: And like, let Greg hear that, because it's putting you
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: off your lunch ye yah, yeah, yeah, h your appetite.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 3: And that's what I mean.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 5: I guess you're clarifying that on not being responsible for
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 5: his emotions. If you make him uncomfortable, you're not responsible
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 5: for that. Like Greig can handle out. He sounds like
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 5: a really great therapist, right, And.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: It honors the relationship to reveal that. And as a therapist,
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: that's what I want, Like I would want Dale to
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: reveal to me, Jim, I care about you. This shook
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 2: me up. I was scared for you. I'm scared for
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: you now. And also I feel like my little trite
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: day to day you know, meanderings, dishonor your truth. Okay, great,
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: reveal that to me, right, and then let's talk about it.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: And I may have some points that I would like
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: to offer. I've probably thought through this a little bit. Right,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: You're not the only person that I'm returning back to.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: I told you all the truth. But this also opens
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: up that gate again of like as a therapist sometimes
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: feeling I think the pinch how much you want to reveal,
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 2: Like I've struggled with that on pod therapy because it's
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: a window into my life, you know. And I do
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: at this point have folks that I treat that do
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: listen to the show against my advice. Damn it, I've
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: told all of you to stop, but they still do it.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: But like I've had times where I'll jump into a
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: session with them and I don't always keep track of
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: who listens and who doesn't. I'll forget, and then they'll
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: be like, hey, man, how's that thing going? And this
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: is you know we've done the show for Yeah, you
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: get that rash cleared up, you know, or like he didn't. Yeah,
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 2: I insist I'm a purest. Let the body be the body.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: But like you know, and they'll they'll ask about something
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 2: that came up and they'll be like oh, and I'll
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, this thing, yeah, And there's been times
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 2: where I've had to learn to censor myself on the show,
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 2: like years and.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: Years well.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 2: From personal stuff like personal vulnerabilities that wouldn't be good
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: for the patients, right. And I remember years and years
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: ago I had a patient that died of suicide and
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: I had revealed it on the show. I'd done a
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 2: special Patreon where I just raw, ugly c yeah, I
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 2: the emotions, and I just revealed this is what it's
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: like for a therapist to lose a patient. I believe
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: that had huge value to the mission of the show,
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 2: and I didn't think twice about it. And then of
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: course in the aftermath, I had patients jumping into session
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: and saying, wow, you know, I was so touched hearing
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: this story about that, And for some people it was
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: very profound for their own therapy because they were like,
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: hearing you react to another one of your patients dying
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: really sobered me up to when I flirt with suicide
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: and made me realize, like, I can't make Jim cry again.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: That was weird.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 5: I think a lot of clients are surprised how much
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 5: we think about them or for them outside of session.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 5: It may be brief and just sporadic but like things
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 5: happened that I think.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 3: About my clients.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: This was the point that I was going to bring
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: up because Dale's worried about like Craig, Well, no, Dale's the.
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: Writer, Yeah yeah, yeah, sorry.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: And worried about like this inappropriate? What was the term
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: that touching?
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: Basically the relationship, you know.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 3: Greg, like crossing boundaries.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: But we have to understand that this exists on a
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: continuum and it's not like this feeling is wrong. There
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: is a healthy way of doing this, and then there's
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: an unhealthy or you could look at it as productive
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: and an unproductive but you're a human being. Both Greg
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: and Dale are human beings, right or lizard people or
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: Russian bots, But either way, we're all entitled to our feelings.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 2: Whoever wants to send us emails will take them.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: We will read anything that gets sent to us. But
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: the thing is is like this is just part of
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: being a human being. You know, you're you're gonna someone
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: who you care about, who you spend a lot of
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: time talking to, is sick. That is a human reaction
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: to feel like, oh my god, I feel bad. I
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: want to help this person. So you don't have to
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: feel like you need to you know, suppress that. Now
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: it becomes you know, at what point does it become unhealthy?
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: It becomes unhealthy when it starts changing the dynamic right, right,
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: and to a degree in which you can't pursue your
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: own goals.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: And then now the therapy starts focusing on Greg the
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: therapist as opposed to Dale the patient, then it becomes problematic.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: But otherwise it's fine to just be a human.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and to be affected. And I really like, I
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: think what your suggestion there, We could carry that to
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: the action step of when you resume care with Greg.
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: I think what I would want Dale to do is say, so, Greg,
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: I thought I'd like to share with you how I've
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: been affected by all this, right, which I'm sure Greg
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 2: is ready for, and Greg is going to invite, you know,
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 2: it's the elephant in the room. But a question you
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: could always put to Greg is can you help me
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 2: understand under what circumstances would you and I decide that
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 2: I should take care to a new provider, under what
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 2: circumstances is safe to stay? Like, what do you think
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: is best for me?
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 3: What would be yours that I would like to therapist?
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 3: Let me just say that.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 2: I want that question because I would look at that
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: and go, okay, Dale, excellent, because I do have an
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: ethical responsibility to give you things you should look out for,
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 2: So then I would be able to say so, Dale,
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: if you're feeling feelings in the beginning, I expect that
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: you and I have a long history. We can work
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: through that. And in fact, that's not necessarily something we
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: should be afraid of. Like Caral Rodgers said, stop being
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 2: such pussies about emotion. Like own it. That's what he said,
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 2: you know, and he said, yeah, own the emotions. Let's
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 2: talk about it. If we go through a session and
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: you're talking about your love life and then all of
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 2: a sudden you feel an incredible amount of like energy
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 2: toward our relationship and fear for me because you see me,
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: you know, like sneeze or something. It's okay to tell me,
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: but like I also have a responsibility to tell you. Okay, Dale,
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: if I catch you doing these things, or if you
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: catch yourself doing these things for this long, I want
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: you to bring that to me. And this is how
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: we're going to troubleshoot that. And if we're unsuccessful doing that,
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 2: here's how we're going to make a plan for you
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 2: to start care with somebody else, And that doesn't have
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: to be for everything, Dale, but it might be for
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: a season until the day comes when this is no
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 2: longer a distraction and that's okay, So Dale, the good
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: news is this is something people can handle. But here's
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: the thing that I think we see a lot of
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 2: and I think Greg revealed to his patients at the
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: right amount at the right time, Like for what Greg
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: was facing, Like you said, Nick, he's a private practice.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 2: I think you had a responsibility to kind of just
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: tell them, like, don't keep this a secret. Yeah, but
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 2: you'll see a lot of therapists and we get a
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: lot of feedback with people that piss and moan about
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 2: bad therapists that only talk about their own lives. And
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: that sucks too because they're over self disclosing. And like
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: I've seen situations where like a therapist is going through
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 2: a divorce and they're like, I don't want to hold
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 2: that in because it is big and you're gonna notice
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 2: I'm not wearing a ring and like it's just it's
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 2: it's such a backdrop like when you hired, I'm going to.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 6: Bring some dates by either, Yeah, you're gonna you're gonna yeah,
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna ask you out.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 2: You know, it's gonna get weird, and like, I don't.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: I don't usually like that because I feel like that
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: doesn't rise to the level like if they notice you're
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 2: not wearing it anymore and.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 5: They say, oh, my my wife this or my wife
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 5: that at different points, yeah, and.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: You say something, oh, yeah, my ex wife was just
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 2: telling me to get the kids, and they pick up
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 2: the context and to go, oh, did you get a divorce?
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: And then I want you to minimize that and go,
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 2: I did, Yeah, you know I've been divorceds long or yep.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: We just we just wrap that up. And like, I
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: do think you have a responsibility to wear the mask
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 2: and like not start spilling to you.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 3: Don't reveal that unless something.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: Was off with my therapist. You always referred to her
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: as his wife, and then one day just started calling
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: her bitchy country.
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: Wow. Is that a family name.
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 3: It's just a name.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: It we're just us. I mean, it's predictable. I don't
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: know about bad, but I certainly expected. So. Yeah.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 3: The good news is.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: I think that this is something, in my opinion, you
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: will surmount. I mean, and look there's also this thing
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 2: of like taking the best of, like taking a I
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 2: will take a mid range great therapist over the best
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 2: a bad therapist can offer, honestly, and like, I love
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: that Greg is so relationship driven. And you're absolutely right, Dale,
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: the data tells us that. And just the other day
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: I was talking to my students about the common factors
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 2: and we were talking about the best therapists and how
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 2: heads and shoulders they are above the average therapist, Like
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 2: it's not even close. And I will take that therapist
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 2: running on three wheels over anybody else. Like, honestly, Greg
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: wounded is probably still better than anybody else. And he
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: has that institutional memory of your life. Yeah, he can
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: say things to you that nobody else can say.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: So I think you guys have a special relationship, Dale,
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 2: I hope that you'll lean in on it. But give
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: Greg the opportunity to give you an idea of like,
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: this is what red flags would look like. This is
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 2: what it would look like if this was unhealthy for
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 2: you and here would be our game plan. And I
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 2: wouldn't be surprised if Greg's already thought that out. Oh,
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: Like I wouldn't start therapy and initiate that with the
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 2: patient because he thought this through. But like any therapist
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 2: is going to have that in the back of their
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 2: mind and then be looking for the signal from you
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 2: that you would like to talk about.
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, if you don't bring it up, like Jim said earlier, going,
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 5: then the therapist isn't going to I.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: Want to distract you. Maybe you're fine, Maybe you just
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 2: have a little bit of cold feet, but we just
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: need to get back to our vibes.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I would see, like, are you upset that I'm sick?
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 5: That would be maybe like that.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 2: It's a great question, though, Dale, I mean, this is
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 2: such a big one. We've never had a question like this,
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 2: but it's a good one. It gives us a chance
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 2: to talk to colleagues and to students about self disclosure
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 2: rules and you know, kind of reference like the better
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: themes of how good therapy works. But how real this
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: is for Dale, and that you're not selfish for being
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 2: the patient in a therapeutic relationship and you shouldn't allow
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 2: it to flip over. And I think you're allowed to
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 2: be curious, Dale, Like a lot of times people are like,
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 2: am I allowed to ask questions? And I think you're
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 2: allowed to just big picture ask like, you know, hey, Greg,
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 2: it's so great to see you again. I'm sure you're
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 2: not feeling one hundred percent, but I'm so glad that
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 2: you're okay, you know, and just like and I would
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 2: just encourage you Dale not to try to be too nosy.
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 2: Sometimes we think we're showing love by being super curious,
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 2: like oh, are you still seeing doctors? Or is everything
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 2: behind you now? And it's it's like you want like
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 2: a child to be reassured that daddy's okay, and it's like,
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 2: don't put that much pressure on him, because that puts
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 2: us in a weird position of like I don't I
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 2: don't want to tell you all the truth.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 5: I always feel weird, doerful, weird when you go into
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 5: session of like, oh, how's your day, how's your week?
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 5: Like we're kind of warming up, you know, and like good,
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 5: how are you doing today? I was, I don't like weird,
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 5: you know, you know, I'm going to say good no
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 5: matter what, like like good or ill, but I can't complain.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 2: It's like when they want to know the stripper's real name,
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 2: you know, that's sometimes I didn't, I didn't I already
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 2: tell you that, Yeah, oh I didn't. I guess because
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 2: it wasn't any of your fucking that's right. But that's
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 2: a real thing where sometimes the patient's like no, no, no,
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 2: really though, how are you?
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 3: I know, I get very and you're like.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 2: No, I'm great. I'm having a great week. Are you
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 2: offer like a quick little like I'm so horny sessions
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 3: Really started focusing and listening to my clients today.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 2: Go on, I.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: Really just start talking about bowel movements and yeah, you
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: know what, I'm glad you and they move on. I've
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: been very regular, you know, it's been good. I feel
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: like the fiber in the diet is finally getting right.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 4: I have been shitting so much my asshole is just gaping.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 2: I started earlier and I couldn't even feel I'm dropping pancakes.
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: It's just like you rode into this show with this question,
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 2: did anyway from one colonel to another? Good luck, Colonel
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 2: dale as we like to call each other because we're friendly. Well, there,
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 2: it is nice. We're gonna take a quick break, and
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 2: when we come back, we are wrapping up the show.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 2: I was impressed listening to but Therapy.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Nick Schneider, Leah, Richard, Macy,
• 1:19:12
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• 1:19:24
  Speaker 2: So we're getting ready to get into Mad March news.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 2: We're gonna be doing that, Pickham brackets, We're gonna put it.
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: What did you just say, Matt, it's Mad Marchinists. Baby,
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 2: we're doing this Mad March. I'm not getting suit I'm
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 2: not getting rays around it. Fancier is not litigious. Yeah no, no,
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 2: they're very easy going people over there. But if you
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: want to get in on the madness, like the super Bowl,
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: is that what I like? I think he's like that.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: Oh I don't at the billboards, drive through town, it's
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 2: all March media, it's there. Yeah, they're looking for every
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 2: possible way around this. So because we are making money
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 2: on this for.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 4: People who don't know the they call the Super Bowl.
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 2: The Big Game everywhere we can, so you can join
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 2: our Shenanigans Patreon dot com slash therapy body better get
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 2: in there because once we activate the league. We publish
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 2: the link through patreon it, so make sure your email
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: alerts are turned on that way you get that link.
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 2: We don't spam me. All your emails are always just
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 2: postings of new shows. But yep, we will kick that
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 2: over to you, So make sure you get locked in
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 2: with us soon. Selection Sunday is the sixteenth, and I
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 2: believe after that day is when we're going to publish
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 2: our bracket. You can pick all your favorite teams or
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 2: do it randomly. We don't care. Bet the chalk if
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 2: you want, and you can see who beats the hosts.
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 2: That's the goal. You will guaranteed beat one of us
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 2: because one of us always drops in the rankings very quickly.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't matter. You don't have to swim faster
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: than the shark. That's right, swim faster than one that.
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: Has always been our golden Yeah. I don't care if
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 2: you do.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: Better than me.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 2: As long as I do better than one of the
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 2: assholes in this room. That is the only That's all
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 2: I want. But as we wrap up the show, I
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 2: want to remind you go to patreon dot com slash
• 1:21:08
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• 1:21:10
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• 1:21:13
  Speaker 2: can enjoy our live chat, Discord community and our weekly
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 2: deep dives, interview, skill shares, research roundups and rants. Next week,
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 2: we have got a great deep dive coming out. It's
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 2: inside Out Chapter three with our intern Emma, and Emma
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 2: actually presented at a conference in Louisiana and strongly referenced
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 2: pod therapy. I know, I told her, don't do this.
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 2: So then she's trying to talk me into going with
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 2: her to a conference in Philadelphia. And she's like, I
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: can strongly in yeah, Philadelphilly. Yeah, No, I'm not going
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 2: there Philly. I don't want to leave. I just don't
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 2: want to go any Okay, that's that's it. Just this
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 2: was funny.
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 1: This was fucking hilarious on Discord because I came across
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: this conversation and and she's like, oh, you should come
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 1: to Philly and present, Like, okay, totally. So Jim's counter
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: offer because she mentioned something about Taka that the pony
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: counter offers, why don't you bring your horse to Vegas?
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 1: So it's easier wants to ride to bring a horse
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 1: to Vegas than it is for Jim to go to Philadelphia.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 2: You could take your daughter. Yeah, you could have a
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 2: father daughter to the Philadelphia. She's not bringing the horse
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: to Philly.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 3: That was never in the car history.
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 2: She just wants to do a presentation in Philly. I
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 2: said you should come to a come to a conference
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 2: in Las Vegas. And her her question was, oh, is
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 2: there a mental health conference in Vegas.
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 8: I said that's a reasonable question, and I said no,
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 8: there's a lot of other She asked, is there a conference,
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 8: and the answer was no, there's other conferences.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 2: It's Vegas. We have all sorts. It's like a paper
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 2: plate conference coming through town. Like we got all sorts
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 2: of cool ship. That's like a Harley Davidson. Just show up,
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 2: it'll be fine. Anyway. I don't remember what that was about.
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Emma's got a new post. Come check it out.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 2: Pigeon comes lash therapy get stuff every Monday as well.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 2: But we've got some new friends that have joined the
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 2: therap party. Who's new to the family. Name therapal l J.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: Welcome j and welcome into the boardrooms.
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: Gabriel Adam, Adam Adame. That's how I want to say,
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 2: ad A Gabriel Adame is how I like that? Let's
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 2: part on the accents on this best ever gone Yeah,
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 2: does the only work out well? And of course we'd
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 2: like to thank the benevolent revere, generous and flagrantly pro
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 2: Therapy diehards who love you all so much they give
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 2: till it hurts, the Therap Partner's dirty be and picket.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 2: And we want to thank our bosses, the mysterious and
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• 1:23:56
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• 1:24:00
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• 1:24:26
  Speaker 2: Emma Kain, Elina Cody Alrean Guy Sam Cone, Brady Malay
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: Chick and now introducing Gabriel Adammeh.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: And if you'd like to do this episode, I'm cut in,
• 1:24:36
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• 1:24:40
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• 1:24:42
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• 1:24:43
  Speaker 2: That's all the time we got for this week's episode.
• 1:24:45
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• 1:24:48
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• 1:24:51
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• 1:24:54
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• 1:24:57
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• 1:25:10
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• 1:25:12
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• 1:25:15
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• 1:25:18
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• 1:25:20
  Speaker 1: our anonymous Google form page. I'm Nick Tangeman.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 2: I'm Whitney, I'm Colonel Jim.
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 1: Thanks, and we'll see if your appointments next week.
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 2: Look, Colonel, it is a weird French.
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 3: What is that?
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 2: Probably French.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: I think we can just shorten it to just colon. Yeah,
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 1: callin Jim, I'll answer Colon Jim. That's your hobo name.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 1: Going to Hobo Con second weekend in August.
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 4: That way, because it comes from the Italian word.
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 2: Culinary col colonado is what lenelo. I think it's colonel,
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 2: meaning commander of a column, like a Roman column. Yeah,
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 2: it feels right. I consider myself a column commander.
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 3: Bye bye.
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 2: I think Jim could handle a column.
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 3: Depends on the girth.