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#35 Back to Life, Back to Reality · College Is Fine, Everything's Fine

I mean it is. Definitely good to be back. I, we haven't even really had a chance to catch up over the summer. I think we have what, like fleeting texts here and there, checking in, you know, quick, oh gosh, vacation.Oh gosh, child sick. Um, I've moved to a new city since our last episode. So kind of hanging out down here in Nashville, Tennessee. So that's pretty crazy. And you had so much fun. I just feel like you, I was likeOkay. Ittransition city and you were, and you were just having a. Not in a, I mean, I, I was like, great. I can live vicariously through Liz as I,I mean, it was the summer of Liz, um, in terms of fun things that I was doing. But I will say it, it's been a shock. The transition back, I think, from being very busy, having a lot of exciting trips, working less, um, And then the fall has hit me so hard in terms of a lot of responsibilities that I have to do, and, most of my college patients are in some sort of crisis, um, so, I've been overwhelmed,did I, I don't know. I'm going to age myself here. Um, I don't even know who does this song because I'm bad at it, but anytime I start to think about going back to the real world, I have that little song in my head and I'll sing it. It's like back to life, back to reality. Do you do? I mean, I'm just, and itI mean...where I'm like, there we go.Like, um,going to happen now that you just put that jingle. I tend to, I tend to get stuck on songs. Um, but I love that jam and I also hate it at the same time because reality is not sometimes something I want to accept.But I think as we're talking to the students here, it's so funny because on the one hand, you really had a really, you know, a fantastic summer of Liz and had a great time. And so reality felt like, ugh. And I was so kind of in the maelstrom of just a bunch of stuff that wasn't fun. Moving is the worst and it's so stressful.When fall started back, um, it was a relief because I was like, at least I know this, this feels familiar. So I'm just curious, you know, I wonder kind of with our listeners, the range of what they might experience, right? So for some of you, you might be like, Oh gosh, if I go have to go to class, it's going to be so horrible.And for some of you might be like, Oh, this feels like such a relief to be back. I'd like to think we have some tips for everybody, um, in that, in that range. So.Yeah, I 100 percent I even in. patients that I see, it's like they had a boring summer, not a, they don't like their home friends. You know, their parents were on their case and they're like, get me to school. And then other people, you know, had a little too much fun this summer and, um, need to get used to not staying up till four or five o'clock in the morning.So yeah, I, I think Sarah, we talked, we wanted to come back, obviously we took this hiatus.know, and it was longer than we wanted,But now, um, we're back to reality.back to reality. This is a fun reality, at least. At least this is a fun reality. It feels good. You know, this is one of those things where even though it couldn't rise to the top of like, you know, I have to like basically feed, feed my family. Do I have, oh, I have a new job. It turns out it's full time.What? You know, so this is like a lot of that. This is something that couldn't, for those reasons, rise to the top, but it also was the thing I was missing. You know, I really... Wanted to, to put it at the top, so it's good to be back, and if you were sort of like, why is there new, new content, now you know. So anyway, it's good to be back. It's good to begood to be back.Yeah.And so in the same way that we have both, been having some, growing pains of adjusting back, we thought it would be helpful to share our top three tips that might help you as you continue to adjust to the semester. I always say there's like this honeymoon phase the first month.It's so exciting and new classes and I got all my new books and my room so organized and it's beautiful.Oh, you're also, you're going to, like, your, your old haunts that you missed during the summer and getting that, yeah. Mmthen, and then I do find by the end of September, beginning of October, it's like, oh my gosh, shit is real.hmm. Mm hmm.These class, I have work now, I'm not just like attending my classes and it's football season or there's like fun, a lot of funOh, I know Fall's the best.know.So, um, what do you think as the first one, Sarah, we should tackle in terms of our, our tips?Well, we talked about all the stuff that can happen that's fun in school, right? Um, and then some of you, you know, I certainly knew people who they just went back and it was like school, school, school. And, and, and really focused on that. And, you know, I think it depends on your goals. Again, there's a range.So if you're going back and you're feeling like, hey, you know, I've, I've hit every game. I've gone to every party. I've said hi to every friend. Um, you know, or if you've gone back and you've been like, okay, time to hit the books. I didn't do so well last semester. Let me just make sure that I'm on this. You might need to, at this point in the semester, check your balance, right?See where you're at. Are you too much on one side? How does it feel for you? Just take a second. to think about that, because a lot of times we all do it, we just put one foot in front of the other and we're not really looking up and then suddenly we kind of have to look up, whether it's midterms or we lost track of that friend and they're mad at us, you know, you sort of look up and you're like, whoa, how did I get here?So now's the time to sort of wait, push, you know, check your balance. MmI love that, Sarah. I think the point you just made, it's almost like they reached the point of no return. It's like, Oh wait, I haven't. Really been going to class as much as I should or I haven't asked that friend to grab lunch I used to always do that. You know that they kind of reach a point where it's a crisis and You want to get ahead of that?So. We have a little mnemonic that we made up that we gave at a workshop a few months ago. And part of balance always, whether you're too academic or too social, is about taking care of your body. So no matter what, we do want you to pay attention. And we've come up with some ways that we feel like you are guaranteed to be a mess.So if you want to be a mess, here's what you do. You do not move. You know, so no movement. Just sloth like, right? Just kind of like, eat, drink that beer, have five McDonald's a day, don't move your body, just sort of, right? So it's like, just don't... Don't move around. Stay in that library all night, getting that, you know, um, carpal tunnel in your arm from typing so much on that computer, right?Just don't move. Stay at that desk and study, study, study. Or stay on the couch all day and skip class and, um, you know,And you're on TikTok.right? And vape and like just smoke weed and just be like, this is the best, right? Right. Oh gosh. And so, so if you don't, if you want to be a mess, don't move. Don't eat well, right?Like make sure to just eat a bunch of crap or not eat enough. Don't sleep. So just push yourself, burn candle at both ends, all that sort of stuff, and then never take space from screens. Like just be on that social media feed, refresh, refresh, scroll, scroll, scroll. So, Yeah, we thought that we just wanted to give you tips on how to make sure you're a mess.If for some reason you don't feel like being a mess, then you should move, right? You should just move your body in some way. For some people, that's explicit exercise. For some people, it's like, just get outside, take a walk with a friend, instead of just sitting in, um, in your dorm. Eat balanced meals. Eat enough.Eat things that nourish your body, that kind of recharge. Get sleep. You know, we have an episode on sleep. Listen to that if you need some tips. It's not easy in college, right? And we are realistic, but just kind of try to pay attention to sleep. And also, do take space from screens. Find times and pockets of the day where it's just not in there, or you take space from certain feeds, filter some of those accounts that are not making you feel good.  All right, so now if you were me in college, maybe I'm just trying to speak to my former self. I was the person who might just be like, Oh yeah, this is great. I got a handle on it. Um, I was the biggest procrastinator. And I could find so many different ways to procrastinate.So we thought the second thing we really wanted to say is Now is the time. It's not too late. To get ahead while you can. Let's talk Sarah, maybe a little bit about what would that look like? I think there's two things. Like,No, we just say don't procrastinate and then they'll know how to do it. That's enough. Okay, next.Um, you know I have a really, um, hate relationship with the word procrastinate and motivation because I think a lot of people, there's like some myths about it and I think there's oversimplification about it.I think what we're looking for when we say getting ahead is to develop some habits so that you're not fighting urges. to procrastinate as much. So we know that people who procrastinate, sometimes it has to do with their mood. They're anxious about an assignment or, they're embarrassed because they missed the class the week before and then they're too nervous to kind of go.So it's like, how do I get ahead of this by establishing some good habits? And, you know, Sarah and I, when we were talking about this episode, my one tip around this is go to class. It sounds so simple, but it is a slippery slope. Like once you start missing classes and you tell yourself that you're capable of doing well in school when you're missing classes.Um, I just have never seen somebody who misses the majority of their classes and ends up doing well in school. So how do you make a habit of going to class? Do you ask a friend to walk with you to class so you go together? Knock on the door, make sure that you're awake before they head out over to the other side of campus.Whatever it has to be, whatever you decided the reason why you're having a hard time, start problem solving so that you don't get to a place where you don't feel like you can kind of pick yourself up.Right, I, actually my husband and I both talk about this. We're like, if we had to give one piece of advice to our kids, um, it would be just go to class. It's so easy to do well because, you know, and there's so much free time. I think a big part of why I procrastinated, first of all, yes, it was a way to cope with anxiety.Missing class. Also, I felt like I didn't have this word at the time, that there's some sense of FOMO. You know, it's a gorgeous sunny day. I'm sitting on the quad. It's so nice. I'm with my friends. You know what? This is great. Life is short. Let me just make sure I have this conversation. It's a very short lived in the moment.I don't want to miss out on this particular moment. If I had zoomed out a little bit, I could have thought, you know what, I have lots of time with my friends on the quad. I'm not missing out on a bonding opportunity here. These things happen throughout the day. So for me, that was a big, The reason why I skipped was like, I'd rather just be here than there, I also think that procrastination, even if it's not missing something fun, is about trading out the big dread. for the little tiny drips of dread.Right.so, like, right now, if I procrastinate, it's a little bit of a relief because I don't have to think about it. And then you, it's almost as if you think magically, like, oh, I'm just going to suddenly be motivated to do it later tomorrow. Right, that, that horrible word, motivated. Like, I'll just wait till I want to do it, then I'm just going to zoom it out.And that's not how it works. It is really about those habits, and then having that daily discipline, and doing it in small steps, and tolerating that it might not be as simple. It's as pleasant, but it's better than an all nighter, I promise you.I love that, the idea of like, focusing on the short term. This is why I want to do it in the short term, but I really need to zoom out and think about the long term. What are the positive and negative consequences, you know, and I think for upperclassmen, I think they're, they've learned a little bit like their mistakes, um, and are able to say, for example, I don't know, maybe I treat school like a nine to five job because I don't know anyone.If I had the choice at 7 p. m. to go hang out with my friends or go to the library. It's really hard to like, opt out of socializing at night time, I don't know, in my experience it is. And more people are available, so. You know, hit up the library in between your classes, um, find those pockets of time where maybe you're able to focus a little bit more, um, and that it's not so hard to kind of will yourself to do work.It's, I'm just, I know some people are night owls, but in general, when you're tired, hungry, and feel like you had an isolated day, like who doesn't want to just like hang out with their friends and.Right.Eat.I, I know, you know, I don't want to belabor the point. I think they understand that we don't want them to procrastinate, but I also, I just had this thought where, um, I remember the feeling of that sort of heaviness weighing on me, knowing I needed to do something when I was with my friends, right? It takes away from the fun and I. I don't know. It's so much more of a kind of free, kind of light, enjoyable level of fun, just pure enjoyment when you didn't have that little nagging voice at the end of you. It's like, so I, my nephew, I don't think he'd mind me saying this.He's been a voice on this podcast before and he said, you know, his first. Freshman year he was all social all the time and didn't even look. And he kind of panicked when he opened up his syllabus and slammed that laptop shut. You know, and so I think he actually learned pretty quickly, second semester, to go through, look at the syllabus.And he had to get help. I mean, I don't think it was with anyone official, I think he just went home and was like, Okay, how do I do this? Or he asked a friend. He said, I just sort of learned to look at it and not panic and go through it bit by bit. And he's still so social, but I just see him, he's so much happier.He's so much happier, um, and just feels lighter when I talk to him about college. So, anyway, it's not just a bunch of old ladies saying this.No. No.20 year old frat guy told me this.and the last thing I'll say about it, cause we got to throw in like some sort of psychology principle here is that I think I only know this from getting tested on it, uh, to become a psychologist. But, um, it's something, and maybe if you've taken an intro class, you've learned about it, but it's something called the Premack Principle.And essentially is that you want to do the behavior that you don't really want to do first, and then you want to reward yourself with the thing that you really want to do. Most college students do it the absolute. They do it the opposite way.Yeah. Yeah.if you really take that principle and put it into place and really say, okay, I'm going to do work for two hours.And then like you said, I can be present and fully mindful with my friends later tonight and not have it lingering over me. So I think. I think we've stressed why getting ahead while you can in this earlier part of the semester is helpful. All right, what's our last tip, Sarah?The social gut check. Right? So, we thought about this almost by grade, because I think it really does vary by grade. If you're a freshman coming in, It's about, oh my gosh, and, you know, we've done, again, so many episodes on this, so we wanted to sort of point out, yes, freshman year, there's so much going on about friendships.It's about kind of staying true to yourself, finding your people, feeling patient with the process. Sophomore year, I mean, obviously not for everyone, we're talking in, you know, broad strokes here, but sophomore year tends to be a time when you, most people have found their people. And they feel a sense of comfort, you know, at least they have some sort of understanding of what's going on in school.Um, it doesn't mean you can't regroup necessarily or that you're, if, you know, pay attention if you're happy with these friendships or not. But sophomore year tends to be a little smoother in terms of just the grade. Junior year, you know, again, Broad strokes, but just a lot of different transitions. Some people are going abroad.Other people, you know, people are starting to say, okay, I have to start thinking now about the. Other opportunities I want to have besides just being on campus. So, you know, I know, for me at least, it was a lot of people went abroad. And so all the people left and school kind of had to form new friendships.And all the people that went abroad, they came back and they're like, Oh, it ended up being a good thing. It kind of shook up the, you know, snow globe, so to speak, and things kind of settled in a different place, but not in a bad way. And then I think senior year is when I start to hear. All of my clients start saying, oh my gosh, they start to get really sentimental and they start to say, it's my last first day of classes.It's my last first football game. It's like everything starts to feel like you're in this march towards graduation. So I think we wanted to have a couple of tips per grade. Right? So, we, you know, again, freshman year, listen to multiple episodes on that, but part of it is just be patient, find your people, it will happen, it's normal to have a lot of shuffle at first and to have some rearranging of things throughout the semester and just paying attention to sort of what, who makes you feel good, who is lifting you up.Um, it's okay to have friends at first that serve a certain purpose. Like, just not being lonely, and it's okay for those things to shift over time. Um, there's a lot of different ways people can be friends to you. Sometimes friends are for a lifetime, sometimes they're there for just a particular period of time when you need them, kind of, for a certain reason, and that's okay, too.What would you say for sophomores?I think for sophomore year, but even I would say continuing on, is this idea of editing and adding to friendships. And I think that it starts in sophomore year where Be open to the idea that you might drop some friends, right? Maybe you clung, we talk about like we're just like these herds of sheep around campus freshman year, but maybe over the summer you realized, you know, I don't really have the same values as this friend group or these couple of people.Um, so maybe I need to kind of edit these people out of my life, but I also need to focus on adding more to my life. And I, and I think that that begins in sophomore year where you feel You're not as worried about having somebody to go to lunch maybe with, like you have a couple people that you consistently spend time with and feel connected to, but don't give up on the idea of adding people every year.You know, you might lose a friend a year and add a really good friend the next year. So I think sophomore year really is about, you know, finding people that like to do the same things as you. It's not just about going to parties, you know, there are people that you might feel more. Emotionally connected to.Right. Right. Then we have junior year. Right, and that's sort of the reshuffling, and again, I think that what you just described is pertinent. Well I think, okay, so I think junior year Um, can be tough because it is a year that a lot of people do go abroad and depending on your major, there are a lot of people that can't go abroad financially or their major. I also think it tends to be very academically focused and everyone's really focused about internships and like, what are my plans after graduation?Um, so I, I think that I tend to find that. In junior year, there are some other things that are priority that might not be the same like carefreeness that you see in freshman and sophomore year. Um, but I think this is an example where some people will say like, they'll make the prediction. It's just going to suck all my, I have to live with people I don't really know spring semester because I'm not going abroad.Where I would really be open to the idea, look in your classes. Look within your major. You've seen probably the same cast of characters for a while now. Maybe there are some people that you can spend time with or get closer to that you might not have been incentivized to do that because your core group of friends, uh, have always been here, but now they're not, right?So kind of have an open mind to the possibility that you could add some friendships, um, when some of your friends might not be around.And I also, right, the term that came to mind as we were talking was beginner's mind. Going into junior year, you've had two years under your belt, you probably have assumptions about people, you probably sort of think, you know, and, and look, we, we do learn as we go, but it's a good time to say, let me just look at this as, as if I'm, Here for the first day and I'm trying to gather information because there might be some things about, you know, people grow over a couple of years and change.I'm sure you as a student have too. So, I, I do think we hear a lot about people being surprised, not, you know, in some ways in a really good way. Oh, I never thought I'd get to know that person. I never would have known that person if my best friend hadn't gone abroad.Right.and sometimes it's sort of like, wow, my friends who, um, shifted didn't keep in touch with me as much.And it can be a time of just sort of, again, sort of looking at that balance, you know, are you getting enough, you know, feedback? Are the friendships that you're giving you giving you a lot of deposits into your sense of self? And your sense of self worth or is it just you're giving a lot of you know They're taking a lot of withdrawals or you're kind of giving too much.I think it is a time for both beginners mind reminder that we don't know everything it could be you could be really surprised and Noticing friendships again. I mean that's obviously kind of a through line through all thisI'll, I'll just say, I want to just quickly, I know we're talking a lot about friendships, but I think something that happens junior year or something to kind of pay attention to is sometimes there's this reality that you might not have integrated as much within the community or campus and I think junior year becomes like a time to really pay attention to your relationships with professors and faculty, um, because what?Oh yeah, those guys. Oh yeah, those guys.I just, I think that some people have a lot of regrets around that,Mm hmm.making the transition senior year, which we'll talk about, they're like, , who would I have as a reference,Right, I know.I'm applying to grad, I'm applying to grad school and I'm not really connected to any of my professors.Mm hmm.I think junior year, when you're thinking about your future a little bit more, which can be daunting. establish a better relationship with your advisor, change your advisor, you know, like look for adults on campus that can help guide you as you try to figure out like which direction you're going to kind of move in. So anyway, I think that happens or doesn't happen, um, during junior year.Do you like, I was like, yes, Liz, yes. I was just like, this is why we have to have two of us. Cause I was like, I would not have thought about that. And it's, it's, as you can imagine, I was probably the person who senior year was trying to have make up for a lot of the things that I suddenly was like, oh yeah.And, um, and form those relationships. So I do agree. And I think by junior year too, the class is a little smaller. You're starting to work within your major. It makes more sense to say, okay, who do I feel like whose advice I would trust? Um, and, and I want to, and I want to approach them. Um, we do, listen, you and I have been teachers.We work with people who are professors. Um, and I was just listening to, uh, Anne Marie Albano the other day was talking to, actually, Sadie Sutton, who we have a episode coming out with from She Persisted. And Anne Marie was like, listen, I love it when people come to my office hours. Use it. It's great. You know, she was trying to say like, gosh, you know, we really do want to talk to students.We enjoy it. So, um, anyway, I just thought it was interesting. You're right. They are undervalued resource, um, for, so, all right.Senior, you made it to the finish line.Made it to the finish line. This one I do, you know, really think that all the things we've said so far obviously apply and Senior year is a time where I think being mindful of the present moment is really important because all of a sudden there are realities to about the future you are going to probably be interviewing for certain things Certain companies, job interviews are starting to rear their head.You're going to have to start thinking about life after school. And for some people that's really exciting and fun, other people that feels like a sense of anxiety or dread. Um, I know job markets feel really difficult. Students right now are so passionate and active. They have so much to give.And I know that with that sometimes comes a lot of angst. Also, that sentimentality of the social piece. So, trying not to dress rehearse. for your adult life. Try not to dress rehearse for life after graduation and remember you are still here and if you every time you're going into something you're sort of labeling it as the last of sets and such it's going to bring a sense of Sadness and nostalgia that actually isn't serving a purpose in that moment Save that for when you really need to think back and have that that sweet memory Try to be in the moment And refocus yourself on the present as much as you can.There is a time for thinking about the future, but that's when you're able to problem solve for it, or to take some action. And it doesn't have a function if it's just kind of pulling you away from something that's really enjoyable.Right. I think too, because it's your last year, this idea of you're still having a social gut check during your senior year, because it's like, what, what do you want the quality of your experience to be? Do you want to be hanging out with these people that like you? Really dislike. Do you want to be in a romantic relationship?Because you feel like I only have one more year left. I might as well stay in it. You know, so I think there again, that idea of like, you can still shift things a lot socially, your senior year to meet whatever your needs are emotionally. So, and that it's, it's an opportunity. I think a lot of people, this idea of sunken cause they kind of like, Oh, well, I've been with these people for the past three years or been in this relationship.You know, I just talked to a senior this morning and I was like, be open to the possibility that the person sitting next to you in class might be someone that like, Is really important to network with, you know, or, or you're really passionate about the same causes. Maybe you organize something this year, some event or something that's really meaningful and contributing to the community.So, don't shut down the possibilities that might present itself senior year, while also like I think Sarah saying, like, don't mentally forecast. too far into your senior year that you lose the opportunity to experience the potency of social interactions.Yeah. And we, we talk a lot about values on this show. And I think senior year is a time where, and this could be really meaningful where it's a shift more towards what are my own values and some of the friendships I ended up loving the most ended up happening for, within my major, for people where we were taking rides to and from different sites to complete a class and we just bonded and spoke and talked and, you know, we didn't go out.We weren't always, you know, at the same parties necessarily, the same bars, etc. Um, but it was a really valuable friendship and one that lasted into... So, um, you know, I, I think that that is a really great point. Um, all right, we've hit the 30 minute mark.Yep.Let's wrap, let's bring it home. people, we're telling them to focus on, you know, balance and academics.They, they got things to do, but we did want to leave you with one last thing. And I think it kind of almost doesn't even. Makes sense potentially within the episode, but it's such an important skill that is useful across the board. We just wanted to get it out there to you early. Maybe we could also do like a mini episode on this one too.No, I think we totally could, hey, there are going to be hurdles that come up, even if you take these tips to heart that Sarah and I just talked about. And Sarah has beautifully put together, another, um, I always get these confused acronym abbreviation, mnemonic device.Yeah, what is it when you make something out of, yeah, what is it when you make a word out of something? Ha How many,As two PhDs dohow many doctorates do you needcan you guys let us know? Slip into ourhaUm, but essentially it's poise and let's go through it so what's the first?The P.Well, can I tell you a little story of why we thought poise might be better? Is because some of the ways that I was learning this was sober, you know, like stop, observe, breathe, expand, respond. And I was like, College students are not going to take on soap.yeah.I just didn't like that kind of mnemonic. So I played around with it. Now, now we have poise. All right. So pause. Right. Stop. This is a bit of a mindfulness kind of unhooking strategy from moments. So like when we get revved up, meaning in our head. When we're ruminating, or if we have something happen to us in a moment, and we suddenly start to catastrophize a reaction with a professor, a grade, um, an argument with a friend, whatever, whatever the case may be, and you notice you're getting hot emotionally, pause.Alright, so many times we get hot emotionally, we act, it's very reactive, and oftentimes that's what gets us into trouble, so pause first. Oh. Observe. So, Liz, I'll let you take it away on a,observe is just, now you've paused and you've made the choice. Now you need to turn inward and notice what's going on. What am I thinking, feeling, what urges do I have to engage in certain behaviors? So the O is really about how can I increase my awareness around what's going on inside of my body.yeah. And then next is inhale and exhale. Obviously what we mean is breathe. The reason I think it's important to say, like, inhale and exhale, though, is because I think so many people hear the word breathe and it's just like, ugh, I've heard it before. You know, especially these kids, they've been hearing about breathing since preschool.I think just, but reminding people that inhaling slowly and exhaling slowly does impact your nervous system, right? It does switch. Help to switch your mind and body into a calmer place. Taking a slow inhale in, and a very slow, equally timed exhale out, will just start to help you do the next step, which is to stretch out your options.So many times when we think emotionally, right, if we're anxious, we need to avoid or escape a situation. Very reactive. Right? Or if we feel upset about something a friend said, we lash out. Because, you know, when we get mad, we tend to kind of attack. Um, stretching out our options allows for a lot of different things.It allows for perspectives, right? It allows for you to remember sort of the story about how maybe you got here.Right,oftentimes I'll hear people say, Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I made this decision, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, hold on. You're judging yourself for something that you didn't really have all the information yet at the time.So many people, it's like hindsight is 20, 20 when they're dealing with something like if I'd only taken a different class, I'm like, well, okay, but you've made in the moment. Your decision wasn't wrong, right? So it's sort of like, just taking some, stretching out your options, also stretching out the timeline, stretching out the label that you're giving to yourself, just whatever is happening in your mind, stop and sort of stretch it out in whatever way you can.And then the last one is effective action. You know, essentially what we're saying, instead of that emotion reaction,hmm,an effective action which can replace those emotional reactions. And effective action just is really something that says, I don't know, a quick way of saying is like, do you want to be right?Or do you want to be effective? I think of , Sarah, when you talk about away moves, , and towards moves, it's, you know, emotional reactions are going to be, probably lead you further away from what your goal is, and effective reactions are going to be moving you towards a goal.Right, and sometimes that means doing something really hard. Like, I'm going to ask that professor. for ,a pass or an extension, even though I'm anxious about it, but it's the move towards my grade, right? But it, other times we might just be like, I don't want to ask. I don't want him to think I didn't study.And so you, you don't do it, but he might have been really accommodating. Other times effective actions are more about just saying like, you know what? Yes, I do think that professor or friend was being unfair. Let me weigh the pros and cons of calling them out. Alright, in this moment, I'm gonna pick my battle.I'm not gonna say it, the point is we just wanna pay attention to taking that break between stimulus, right? That event that, and then that emotional response, and then how we manage it. And these are some steps to do, so. All right.hmm. Okay. I, I hope this was a helpful, maybe, butt booster, kind of, like,Did you just say butt boostera butt booster.guys? We just coined it. Alright, that's a butt booster for ya! Sorry. I swear that's what I heard.It's probably what it would have sounded like, so thank you for pointing that out.We're leaving, we're totally leaving this in. Helpful booster!Okay.Yeah, it's a pep talk! this has hopefully provided some guardrails to keep you on the right path in terms of your goals for the semester. We have a lot of exciting stuff coming out for this academic year, and we're happy to be back. Right, Sarah? Any closing words on your end?No, I just love a butt booster. I think this is a great way to start. And I am. I'm so happy to be back. It feels right. It feels good. Um, and I do. I think we have, um, we do have some exciting guests coming up. And we'll put anything we talked about when we kept on saying, Oh, this episode, or we talked about it.Check the show notes if you feel like you want to go back to that episode. Or if you have no idea what we're talking about. Um, we'll put that in the show notes. So. You can read it there or listen to it there. Alright, bye everybody!bye.