Latest / The Inspired Speaker Network / Coaching in the Key of C - with Consistency, Compassion, and Consent

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Coaching in the Key of C - with Consistency, Compassion, and Consent · The Inspired Speaker Network

0:00
Hey everybody, are you having a great day?
0:02
Yes!
0:03
Oh no, you're not?
0:05
It's okay, I got you.
0:06
I'm Tif Loeffler.
0:08
Welcome to Positively Yours.
0:10
I'm going to share Tif's tips, techniques, and a little bit of magic
0:13
to help you up-level and have a great day every day.
0:18
Are you ready to get started?
0:20
Yeah!
0:21
Oh, you're not?
0:22
That's okay, I still got you.
0:24
Let's go.
0:28
Why?
0:30
Have you ever had a little kid ask you that?
0:32
Why?
0:33
And then you give them the answer.
0:35
But why?
0:36
Why?
0:37
Why?
0:38
Why?
0:39
Why is an excellent question.
0:41
Why would I care if I need to have a good day?
0:45
I'm a professional.
0:46
I'm very busy.
0:47
I just need to get through this day.
0:48
Oh, let me tell you, there are very big, deep, awesome reasons
0:53
why you need to care about why it's important to have a good day.
0:56
And I'm going to give you the number one reason.
0:59
Really, the only reason.
1:03
You woke up this morning.
1:05
There you go.
1:06
Out of all of the things that could have happened in the world, you made it.
1:10
You got there.
1:11
You opened your eyes, and it is a brand new day.
1:14
And now, you have the choice and the power to make decisions to have a great day.
1:20
Now, I know that's easier said than done.
1:23
Or is it?
1:24
There's a question.
1:25
Why does it always have to be difficult?
1:28
I love hyperbole in that once I say hyperbole, never, always, every single time.
1:35
Absolutely no time.
1:37
It's okay.
1:38
Would we have a good day?
1:40
Okay, that's okay.
1:41
When we have an okay day, that's good.
1:43
I'm talking about a great day.
1:46
I am talking about a day that just sings.
1:48
And on that note, we are going to start with my tips and techniques for having a great day.
1:57
Now, I am going to talk about this today for a little bit through the lens of business.
2:04
It's important for you to have a great day when you are working in your business.
2:09
You need to be working on your business, in your business.
2:12
Sure, around your business, but you have to be in business.
2:15
So, let's get to it.
2:17
And the first tip, there's going to be three.
2:21
I'm actually going to start with just an idea to get you to, if you want to close your eyes unless you're driving, please don't.
2:29
But just imagine there is a gate with a lock.
2:34
And if you could just get to the other side of that, things are happening, okay?
2:39
It's flowing.
2:41
You're in the zone.
2:42
You've got this.
2:44
But you need the key.
2:46
Guess what?
2:48
I got some surprising or maybe not surprising news for you.
2:51
The key is already in the lock.
2:53
You just have to turn it.
2:55
But once in a while, that key is a little difficult to turn.
2:59
I know how this is.
3:00
That's why I got you.
3:02
That's why we're going to start with, well, I have three keys in the key of C.
3:07
Today, we are going to first talk about our first key, which is consistency.
3:12
And that can be the bait of existence for many of us who, I don't even know how to say it, ADHD, neurodivergent.
3:20
We just like to be busy.
3:21
We're artistic.
3:22
We like to have spontaneity.
3:24
We like our freedom.
3:25
And we think, oh, scheduling, regular, day after day, that's just going to get me down.
3:31
You don't understand, Tiff.
3:33
I need my freedom.
3:35
I understand absolutely because how many days have I thought, no, I need my freedom.
3:41
I don't want to be tied down to something.
3:43
Well, that is different than the key of C.
3:47
For key equaling C for consistency.
3:52
We need to be consistent because we need to gather data.
3:57
Now, data doesn't have to be just facts and figures.
4:01
We're gathering data with adventures and experiences.
4:04
So for those of us in the right brain, I'm just trying to make sure that I hold both of our brains in the palms of my hands.
4:11
There's the left brain, which is very logical.
4:14
I've got to have facts, figures, numbers.
4:16
I need it.
4:16
I know you right now.
4:17
And the right brain is like, yeah, but I just want to be creative and I want to flow with things.
4:22
You can do that with consistency.
4:27
So if there is one top tip that I have for you to have a great day is for you to consistently schedule a great day.
4:39
Now, if you need help with that, well, maybe we could work together.
4:43
I would love to help you with that because I love helping people have a great day.
4:48
And consistency means different things to different people.
4:51
But I'll touch on just a couple of ideas to get you started.
4:56
When you wake up in the morning, it is nice to have a daily routine.
5:03
If you want to adjust the routine, you can do that.
5:06
If you want a different routine weekdays and weekends, I get that.
5:09
Maybe on Monday you need a little extra.
5:12
But I'm going to give a concrete example of how to have a great day by having a daily routine.
5:18
But I want to offer a caveat.
5:19
If once in a while life happens and you're not able to do that particular routine in a particular way, it's OK.
5:27
It really is.
5:29
I'm talking about creating a beautiful system of when you wake up in the morning, you start the day with something that sets the tone.
5:38
And for me, this summer, the summer of 2026, it is a daily walk with my youngest brother, Theron.
5:44
And I absolutely love it.
5:46
It's just we're out in nature.
5:48
We're talking.
5:51
Sure, we're together all the time.
5:52
But have you noticed you could be together with someone, but you don't communicate?
5:56
Now, that could be a C for another day.
5:59
But we're talking about consistency.
6:01
Every day we get up.
6:02
And here's what's wonderful.
6:04
Because I have this beautiful routine with someone that I love and care about, it makes it so much easier.
6:14
Not easy because I still have to get up, put on my shoes, put on my outfit.
6:17
Maybe it's too hot.
6:18
I might need a sunbrella because I'm a little sun sensitive.
6:22
Maybe I need an umbrella because, oh, it's raining.
6:24
I'm going to make sure I have the right shoes on.
6:27
There's just so many other things.
6:28
But I'm just giving you the example that when you have consistency in your day, it actually has some added benefits.
6:36
And I'll try to offer you a couple of reasons why.
6:40
We have a nervous system.
6:43
And when our nervous system gets cray-cray, it's really challenging to get through the day, much less have a great day.
6:52
And I am not an expert at the regulation of the nervous system.
6:57
But I can tell you a few things.
6:59
If you are continually living in a stressful state, it is not helpful for having a great day.
7:05
It's not good for your body.
7:07
It's not good for your mind.
7:08
It's not good for your heart.
7:11
And now I feel like I just really want to lean in and say, you deserve to have a great day that you're feeling in your body.
7:20
So I highly recommend for something consistent, you involve movement in your day.
7:27
Make sure once in a while you get up out of your chair.
7:29
If you're sitting down a lot, stretch.
7:31
We weren't made to be, just get up and walk around for a minute.
7:34
I'm a little tethered right now, so I can't do that.
7:36
But I hope you get, you can just do what you need to do for a minute.
7:40
Get up, walk around, maybe a couple of jumping jacks.
7:42
Ooh, try a push-up.
7:43
Why not?
7:44
It's your day.
7:46
So consistency.
7:47
Now, that's about physical movement in the morning.
7:51
I would also say it is very nice to have perhaps every, we could say weekday, but every day.
7:57
If you're in business, you understand this sometimes feels like 24-7.
8:00
You have a 15-minute window at the beginning and make sure, for example, I have a little timer here.
8:08
Can you just time yourself?
8:10
Also your phone.
8:11
I keep saying this and I love it because it's true.
8:14
This could be your greatest distraction or this could be your greatest asset for your business by setting timers.
8:20
15 minutes housekeeping, however that looks to you.
8:26
It's so essential to have special time put aside, but a specific amount of time.
8:33
I don't want you opening up your email and then two hours later, oh my gosh, what happened?
8:38
That's almost as bad as doom scrolling on your favorite social media for two hours.
8:44
Your time is precious.
8:46
You need to start treating yourself like the valuable person that you are.
8:51
So be consistent in how you structure your day.
8:55
And I love that I have gotten so many wonderful examples of how to structure my day.
9:00
And you know what?
9:01
Some of it is just a chunk of time saying this is tiff time.
9:05
Now I have a list of different things that I can do within that tiff time.
9:09
I have that time.
9:11
That's for me.
9:12
However you structure your day, please know that it's precious and you must guard it through your life.
9:21
Now I changed it.
9:22
I don't want it to be with your life.
9:23
Guard it with your life.
9:24
That just sounds so but guard it through your life.
9:26
Use your daily living as an example to yourself and others that you value your time.
9:31
I am being consistent with what I'm doing and consistency is what builds results.
9:37
It's wonderful when there's a fantastic spontaneous moment you're in.
9:41
I get that.
9:42
We all love that.
9:43
That moment or that event or that person.
9:46
Yes, it happens and we love it.
9:49
And also you have to be consistent.
9:53
And since I've talked about the beginning of the day, I would like to talk about the end of the day.
9:57
At the end of the day, isn't it interesting how you could plant the seed to have a great day the night before?
10:06
It can be as easy as just as you're going to sleep just saying, you know what?
10:10
Whatever today was is awesome.
10:11
I'm letting go of it all and I'm gonna wake up in the morning.
10:14
I'm gonna have a great day.
10:15
There you go.
10:16
Maybe you need to journal.
10:17
Maybe you need to talk to someone.
10:19
But planning for a great day the day before is wonderful.
10:24
And also some self-care.
10:27
I'm going to offer a self-care tip right now to make sure that you have water handy.
10:31
Because water is essential and I need a sip of water right now.
10:34
And if you consistently have a glass of water by you, then it's easier to take a sip of water and stay hydrated.
10:45
Now also, you need sleep.
10:48
I'm here to tell you.
10:49
We can all pretend.
10:52
It's a great story to say, I don't need any sleep.
10:55
I'm so into what I'm doing.
10:56
Or I've never gotten sleep before.
10:58
It's never going to happen.
10:59
Oops, we just went into hyperbole.
11:00
So why don't we just relax a little.
11:03
Give ourselves some self-care time at the end of the day.
11:06
To prepare for the next day.
11:08
To wind down.
11:10
To relax.
11:12
This is leading me into the second key of C.
11:17
Compassion.
11:19
Now I can talk about that in two worlds.
11:22
The world of outside your head and inside your head.
11:25
Let's start with the inside.
11:27
I want you to know.
11:29
That you are amazing.
11:33
Magnificent.
11:34
Tremendous.
11:36
And we don't give ourselves enough credit.
11:39
You might know of people who don't give themselves any credit.
11:43
And it's hard.
11:44
Because you look at them and you think, oh my gosh, you are so amazing.
11:48
I can't believe that either you're treating yourself this way.
11:50
You're letting other people treat you this way.
11:53
You're living a life that you don't love.
11:55
You're living a life that is harmful for you.
11:56
Why are you, you know, the compassion.
11:59
We sometimes can offer compassion to others.
12:03
And I love that.
12:04
And you know what?
12:06
I've heard people say, well, you can't offer compassion to others.
12:08
Unless you offer compassion to yourself.
12:09
Or, you know, you can't love others until you love yourself.
12:15
Yes and also.
12:17
What if.
12:19
It was more circular.
12:22
That start with loving yourself.
12:24
But then, yes, you also love other people.
12:26
But what if in loving other people in the compassion.
12:28
I'll get back to compassion.
12:30
Really understanding that people are going through things.
12:33
They are truly fighting battles that you don't know.
12:37
And.
12:38
They're also celebrating things you don't know.
12:41
And until you are able to see through the lens of compassion.
12:45
What people are going through in their daily lives.
12:47
It can be difficult to have compassion for ourselves.
12:51
But they both ring true.
12:54
At the same time.
12:55
Two things can be true at the same time.
12:59
Yes, you want to have compassion for other people.
13:00
When you are working in business with people.
13:03
It's not to let them walk over you.
13:04
It's not to be bullied.
13:05
We're going to be talking about that in our next KFC.
13:09
The final one.
13:10
Right now, I want you to think about.
13:13
A little kid.
13:14
Again, that little kid.
13:16
And they made a mistake.
13:17
And they feel so bad.
13:20
And which.
13:22
Part of this.
13:23
Do you think would be more effective saying to them?
13:26
You screwed up again.
13:27
God, what is wrong with you?
13:28
I can't believe this.
13:30
I told you everything.
13:31
It's just.
13:33
Or saying.
13:34
You know what?
13:35
That's okay.
13:36
I know you tried.
13:37
It's so frustrating, isn't it?
13:39
But I tell you what.
13:41
Why don't you just.
13:42
Just take a moment.
13:43
Just shake it out.
13:45
Oh, you're crying.
13:46
It's okay.
13:47
Just cry.
13:48
I got it.
13:49
I know.
13:50
Take a moment.
13:51
Okay.
13:51
Okay.
13:52
Do you want?
13:53
Do you want some help trying it again?
13:54
Or do you just want to try it again on your own?
13:57
So.
13:58
Why is it that?
14:00
I feel pretty obvious.
14:01
It's pretty obvious to me.
14:03
The latter one.
14:04
Is the one you'd want to say to a little kid.
14:06
Why don't we say that to ourselves?
14:07
Why is it when I am trying so desperately to learn a new piece of technology.
14:11
And I can't do it.
14:12
And then I'm so freaking upset with myself.
14:15
And here comes that spin of.
14:17
Complete non-compassion.
14:18
Let's just put it that way.
14:20
You're a jerk.
14:21
You're an idiot.
14:21
I can't believe this.
14:22
You're never going to get.
14:23
Okay.
14:23
Right to hyperbole.
14:24
So maybe that could be a fun game.
14:26
Because I do love games.
14:27
And playing.
14:29
And what if the game was.
14:30
Every time you caught yourself in hyperbole.
14:32
You laugh.
14:32
You go.
14:32
Okay.
14:32
I'm never going to get this.
14:34
Oh.
14:34
I just got myself.
14:36
I just went to hyperbole town.
14:38
I don't want to go to hyperbole town.
14:41
I'll have to think of whatever village.
14:43
I want to go to.
14:44
That is marvelous.
14:45
And I'll think of a word.
14:46
And maybe I'll.
14:46
Create that.
14:47
Today.
14:47
Okay.
14:48
But for now.
14:49
No.
14:49
You don't want to go to hyperbole town.
14:51
It's bad.
14:51
It's bad.
14:53
What's really good.
14:55
Is when.
14:57
You develop.
14:58
And grow.
14:59
And nurture.
14:59
Your compassion.
15:02
Because.
15:03
Compassion.
15:03
Is strength.
15:06
I love the phrase.
15:07
Do not mistake.
15:08
My kindness.
15:09
For weakness.
15:11
Compassion.
15:11
Is a most.
15:12
Excellent thing.
15:13
We need to have more compassion.
15:14
In the world.
15:15
And again.
15:15
That doesn't mean.
15:16
That you let people.
15:17
Run your ragged.
15:18
Drain your energy.
15:19
Take advantage.
15:20
No.
15:21
No.
15:21
No.
15:21
Compassion means.
15:22
You understand.
15:23
Deeply.
15:23
That we're all going through.
15:25
Our lives.
15:25
As best we can.
15:26
And at any given moment.
15:28
There's going to be that.
15:31
Incredible serendipity.
15:32
Where you are.
15:33
With a client.
15:34
Or customer.
15:35
And you know.
15:36
You have exactly.
15:37
What they need.
15:38
And you are able to.
15:39
Compassionately.
15:40
Explain it.
15:41
Offer it.
15:42
And accept their decision.
15:43
Either way.
15:45
Which brings me.
15:46
To the third.
15:47
Key of C.
15:48
For today.
15:48
And that is.
15:51
Consent.
15:52
Now.
15:53
I bring this up.
15:54
Because this was recently.
15:55
Brought to my attention.
15:57
The word consent.
15:58
And.
15:59
It's not that.
16:00
I didn't know about.
16:01
Consent before.
16:02
It's just.
16:04
That word.
16:05
I finally understand.
16:06
Through the lens of business.
16:08
Why it is essential.
16:10
To.
16:11
Have consent.
16:12
As.
16:13
A thought in.
16:14
The forefront of.
16:15
How we.
16:17
Talk to people.
16:18
Because.
16:19
We need to offer.
16:21
Respect for ourselves.
16:22
We also need to offer.
16:23
Respect for other people.
16:25
We know we've got.
16:26
Great goods and services.
16:28
And when the fit is.
16:29
When we feel the fit is right.
16:31
And we've gotten the information.
16:33
And we truly feel we can help them.
16:35
Not from a place of.
16:37
Ooh, I'm going to get this client.
16:39
And get this money.
16:41
Yes.
16:41
Money's important.
16:42
A topic for another day.
16:43
Now I'm talking about the fact that.
16:45
You know.
16:46
That this is a right fit.
16:47
If it's a wrong fit.
16:48
You're just not going to make the offer.
16:50
Okay.
16:50
I get it.
16:51
But you're making an offer.
16:53
And you.
16:55
Have to understand.
16:57
And I will say it this deeply.
16:59
You have to understand.
17:01
That if people say no.
17:04
There is a reason.
17:08
And if they say yes.
17:09
There's also a reason.
17:10
That's great.
17:12
But.
17:15
I could very easily.
17:16
Turn this into a three hour podcast.
17:18
Just talking about.
17:19
How disgusting it is.
17:21
About the lack of consent.
17:23
Especially when it comes to relationships.
17:26
And how people take.
17:28
No, isn't really a no.
17:30
It could just be a yes.
17:31
And I'll just keep pushing.
17:32
And pushing and pushing.
17:33
Or maybe I'll just assault.
17:35
Yep.
17:35
I said it.
17:36
Nope.
17:37
I would.
17:38
I would offer us to understand.
17:40
That we need to honor.
17:41
People's decisions.
17:42
And I am going to talk about it.
17:44
For a few minutes.
17:44
Through the lens of business.
17:46
Let's say that someone says no.
17:48
It is perfectly.
17:49
All right for you.
17:50
I feel.
17:51
To inquire.
17:52
Oh.
17:52
May I ask why.
17:54
Now.
17:54
I didn't prepare.
17:56
This part of the podcast.
17:57
Perfectly.
17:58
I'm riffing a little bit.
17:59
So I'm going to go.
18:01
With the idea of.
18:03
Well, there was.
18:04
Once upon a time.
18:05
Where someone was offering me.
18:07
Something that sounded.
18:08
Really, really good.
18:09
And.
18:11
The answer was no.
18:12
It truly was a no.
18:13
For all the reasons.
18:16
But they just didn't take no.
18:17
For an answer.
18:19
And I.
18:20
In a moment of.
18:22
Incredible doubt.
18:25
And.
18:27
Fear.
18:28
Accepted their offer.
18:29
When I had no right to do so.
18:32
And I will tell you.
18:33
That was.
18:36
It's hard not to regret things.
18:38
So maybe I'm going to pause for a moment and say.
18:40
Have you ever had someone.
18:42
Push into something you didn't want or bully you.
18:44
Or.
18:46
Offer.
18:47
Practical punishment.
18:48
If you didn't.
18:49
Or say your life's going to be over.
18:51
Well, I got news for everybody.
18:52
I survived before your offer.
18:54
I'm surviving in this moment.
18:56
And I'll survive tomorrow.
18:58
But that's easier said than done in the moment.
19:00
Depending on if someone.
19:01
Has curated their communicative skills.
19:04
They know exactly how to push the buttons.
19:07
And it's all.
19:08
It's okay.
19:09
We all have our skills.
19:10
And actually, I think it's very good to be very clear.
19:13
And.
19:14
Very professional about how you're making an offer.
19:16
But.
19:17
And here's the but.
19:19
If someone says no, it's okay to offer.
19:21
May I ask why?
19:22
And they might say.
19:23
You know, time.
19:24
Money.
19:25
Family.
19:26
Whatever it is.
19:27
That could be the reason.
19:28
It could not be the reason.
19:30
But in order to have an incredible business relationship.
19:34
Whether you're.
19:36
Checking out at.
19:37
A drugstore counter.
19:38
Or you're at the mall.
19:40
And you're at a department store.
19:42
Or.
19:42
You're online purchasing.
19:44
Something that you saw that.
19:45
Oh, you've just been waiting for anything.
19:46
It's really cool.
19:47
And you're not even communicating with someone.
19:48
But they've.
19:49
Put it out there.
19:49
You're click here to buy this.
19:52
And.
19:53
If you're sitting one-on-one with someone.
19:55
Either virtually.
19:56
Or in person.
19:58
You know what?
19:58
We have the right to.
19:59
Make our own decisions for ourselves.
20:02
And.
20:03
Therefore.
20:04
We understand.
20:05
That consent is essential.
20:08
Both parties have to agree.
20:10
And I bring that to.
20:12
Our conversation today as a way to close up.
20:15
The three.
20:16
Keys of C for today.
20:18
Because I think that.
20:21
When you.
20:22
Let people know that.
20:23
You know what?
20:24
Whatever is best for you.
20:25
Is best for both of us.
20:27
Because ultimately.
20:28
If we're going to be working together.
20:29
It's got to be the right fit.
20:30
It's got to be a best fit.
20:32
It doesn't mean best fit 24-7.
20:34
In the energy that we're having right now.
20:36
If this is the best fit.
20:37
Let's go for it.
20:37
But you know what?
20:38
If it's not.
20:39
I understand.
20:40
And on a final note.
20:42
This goes back to compassion.
20:43
If someone says they're not ready right now.
20:45
Maybe your feelings are hurt.
20:46
Maybe you have worked on this deal.
20:47
A long time.
20:48
And it falls through.
20:49
I just offer you.
20:51
A little backwards here.
20:52
So the consent.
20:53
Have compassion for them.
20:54
And for yourself.
20:55
Because you don't know.
20:56
What they're going through right now.
20:57
That that's the decision right now.
20:59
And also consistency.
21:00
The more that you meet with people.
21:02
And understand.
21:03
All of these three keys.
21:06
The easier.
21:07
The flow is.
21:08
In your having a great day.
21:09
In business.
21:11
And so.
21:12
I really like to end.
21:13
On a high note.
21:15
There we are.
21:16
So three keys.
21:18
That are in the key of C.
21:20
That are going to help you.
21:21
In your business.
21:22
Have.
21:23
A great day.