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3 (simple) decisions for success · Beauty In Positivity

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Good morning and welcome back to the Beauty and Positivity Podcast.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: My name is Alyssa Skinner, and in today's episode, we're gonna talk about the difference between successful people and people who have not succeeded what they want.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: Number one, we're gonna go through three.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: So, number one, the successful ones tried.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Sounds simple, right?
0:25
SPEAKER_00: Successful people decided to try to manifest the house.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: To try to manifest the business and the money.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: Because most times people don't even try, they immediately deem their wants or desires as unlikely or impossible.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: That only happens for other people, not for me.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: This is your ego, and I teach this in my Enlightened Babe Academy.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: Your ego does everything it can to protect you.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: It loves you.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: And so it convinces you you never wanted the thing in the first place.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: Because it's protecting you from failure and disappointment.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so what have you convinced yourself you actually don't care to have?
1:11
SPEAKER_00: Mine was traveling the world.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: I never thought I was gonna travel the world.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: I tried manifesting it for like five years and I never traveled.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: And so I thought, you know what?
1:22
SPEAKER_00: Maybe society just programmed me to think I have to travel and you're only successful if you get to travel the world.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to travel the world.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: And boom, six months later, I went to three countries in one year.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: So I want you to know that I want you to think about what you may have convinced yourself you actually don't care to have anymore.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've convinced yourself money doesn't buy happiness.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've convinced yourself you don't need the big house.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: That's way too much to clean, right?
1:51
SPEAKER_00: This is our ego convincing ourselves that it's actually bad to have the thing that we want.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: We're finding all the negatives in it.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: Number two, people who were successful believed they could make something happen.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: They believed their efforts would do something.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: This ties into number one, we just talked about.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: So people don't have what they want immediately because they don't think it's ever going to happen.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: So they check it off the list as I'm not even gonna try, that's probably never gonna happen, right?
2:24
SPEAKER_00: It ties into number one.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm not even gonna think about it.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: And so that whole mindset just leaves, and you're stuck in the mindset of daydreaming and wishing and convincing yourself into contentment.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: But the successful people who believed they could make something happen is just their self-belief.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: They believed if they took action, if they tried, if they went for it, something in their life would change.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: This doesn't mean they knew they would be successful in the very first thing that they tried.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: They didn't even try to think about the future.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: All they were focused on was right now.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: I want something different, so I'm going to try the first thing that comes to my mind.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: And they try the first idea.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: The first idea doesn't work, they try their second idea.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: And number three, which leads me to successful people never stopped.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: They never gave up.
3:24
SPEAKER_00: A lot of times, people give up way too soon.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: So maybe you decide to finally go after what you want, but the second you don't receive it, you stop trying.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: You stop doing what you say you're gonna do, and overall you check it off the list as I'm never gonna have that.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: All because you didn't receive it the second you attempted to bring it into your life.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: This one is arguably the most important one to me.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: Because if you had the courage to go after it, but then you quit early, that is a tough cycle to get out of.
4:01
SPEAKER_00: Because that means you are programming your brain.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: The second you don't receive something, you're never going to receive it.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
4:10
SPEAKER_00: The second you don't lose the weight for the three days that you tried to eat good and exercise, you give up and you tell your brain and your body that's never going to happen, it's never worked in the past.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: Why would it happen for me?
4:23
SPEAKER_00: It only happens for other people on Instagram.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: These cool transformations are only in videos, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?
4:30
SPEAKER_00: The second your partner isn't the exact same person that you tried to imagine them to be for a 30-second manifestation practice, you tell your brain, my partner's never going to be this person.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: The second that problem at work isn't solved, you tell your brain and your body, it's never going to be solved.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: So now I have to find another job because this discomfort is too much.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: My boss is too much.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: The money is not enough.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: You're constantly programming yourself that you were never going to have what you wanted in the first place.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: When you get stuck in that toxic loop of trying and giving up, and then trying and giving up, you have it in you.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: You are trying, right?
5:13
SPEAKER_00: It is already in you.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: You just got caught up in a toxic cycle.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: But you have the will in you.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: This is why this was the most important one to me.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: Because you're just giving up too soon.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: You're just restarting the cycle every single time.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: You put in all that effort and all that work and then you stopped.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: That cycle started over.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: If you just stopped starting the cycle over and you just kept on the first time, you would have what you want.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: And I know because I have done it.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: But you're also telling your brain and your body every single time that you're never going to have it.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: And you're programming that deeper and deeper into yourself every single time.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: You are stuck on a program, also known as the cycle.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: So I want you to know that it's possible.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: It is all possible.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: I was terrified to leave San Diego.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: My life, my comfort zone.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: I lived in a vacation spot.
6:12
SPEAKER_00: People want to see.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: I lived on the beach, 0.3 miles from the beach.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: That's not even a half mile.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: I walked to the sand in two minutes with my coffee, with my dog.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: I would ride my bike 10 miles a day because that was easy alongside the water.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know I was going that long.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: And I did that every single day with friends.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: I would walk to grab my groceries.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: Everything was close.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: I was active.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: I was happy.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: And I chose to come to Knoxville, Tennessee, very different lifestyle, because I wanted to challenge myself.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: Now, just so you know, it was not my idea to leave.
6:51
SPEAKER_00: I would have never left.
6:52
SPEAKER_00: I was comfortable.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: People don't move out of San Diego.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: People move out of San Francisco.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: People move out of Sacramento.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: People move out of other parts of California, but not San Diego.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: Not where I'm from.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: I that's not heard of.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: Do people do it?
7:07
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
7:07
SPEAKER_00: Everyone moves from everywhere.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: It's very expensive to live there.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: But you get my point.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: There was no reason in my brain to leave.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: I was like, what?
7:15
SPEAKER_00: People only move here.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: People don't move from here.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: So that's the mindset I was in, okay?
7:20
SPEAKER_00: I did not choose to come to Knoxville.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: I did, but it was not my idea.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: My husband wanted to get his degree in Tennessee.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: He was just a boyfriend at that time.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: So I'm thinking, yeah, right, I'm not moving for a boy.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: Like, and I said that.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: I told him, I'm not coming.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I will never leave California, just so you know.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: And he said to me, You Californians think California is the whole world.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: And that struck something in me because I like a challenge.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, um, do I?
7:53
SPEAKER_00: Okay, challenge accepted.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: I need to see what it's like to live somewhere else.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: Something came over me and I thought, I don't know anything else other than San Diego.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: And I felt like I had everything that I wanted, right?
8:05
SPEAKER_00: It was comfortable.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: It was easy to be broke and happy at the same time.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: Imagine that.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: So it was very easy.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: And I thought to myself, I've never challenged myself to see what it's like to live somewhere else, especially somewhere else so different, right?
8:19
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm moving to a place they still speak English, but it the culture, the cultural differences are intense.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: And so I thought, maybe I will.
8:29
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I will come.
8:30
SPEAKER_00: I'll come to support you.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: I love you.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: Why not?
8:34
SPEAKER_00: And I want to do this for me.
8:37
SPEAKER_00: So I decided to come because I wanted to see who I was without all the things I knew around me, my comfort zone.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: You know, people move to for college and they see what that's like.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: I didn't do that because I lived in San Diego.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: I didn't think I should leave.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: So when I came, I made the best of it.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: I always put my head down and I always said this journey is going to be great.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: There was so much excitement.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to see what Tennessee had.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: And I was in like full momentum.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: And there were hard days, but I built something that I never thought I would build coming here.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I preach about taking the leap.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: You gotta take the leap.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: That's where shit gets fun.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: So how this all plays into today's episode is it's about one, believing that whatever you want is possible.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: And secondly, just try.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: And thirdly, don't stop.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: Never give up.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: Amazon started as a bookstore, you guys.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: And now look at it.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: We we need we run out of Q-tips and we order them on Amazon, okay?
9:48
SPEAKER_00: You run out of body wash Amazon.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: You run out of, I don't know, I know people order their groceries on Amazon now.
9:55
SPEAKER_00: So YouTube started as a dating site, a video dating site.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: How weird is that?
10:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, it didn't obviously get any momentum, so they changed it.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: They're proving my point.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: They tried something, it didn't work.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: Does that mean YouTube just gave up?
10:13
SPEAKER_00: No, they tried the next thing.
10:15
SPEAKER_00: Twitter started as a podcasting platform.
10:18
SPEAKER_00: Did that work?
10:19
SPEAKER_00: No, they tried the next thing.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: Colgate started making candles and soap.
10:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty sure their first toothpaste didn't come until an entire generation later.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: So you get the point that every successful person, successful business, started with a desire of just wanting more.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: And they committed to the path through failure, through the ups and downs, until they hit success.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: It is inevitable.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: The law of cause and effect, you guys, we learned this in middle school, maybe elementary school now.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: The law of cause and effect.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: If you keep going, it is inevitable that you will win.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: You don't just put in energy and effort, and then the universe or God gives you shit back.
11:06
SPEAKER_00: That's not how that works.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: You have to put in your time.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: Keep going.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: Do not stop.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: It is inevitable.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you'll win your first time.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you commit to six months and you win the first thing you try.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you keep going until you hit that third thing or that fourth thing, and then you hit your success.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: If you want more confidence, like your health and your fitness is something that you're in a toxic loop of, commit to 10 days.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: Commit to five days.
11:39
SPEAKER_00: Get on your device that's already at your fingertips at all times.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: Type in healthy meal prep, easy beginner healthy meal prep on Pinterest.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: And just eat good.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: Eat good for three days, five days.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: Just start with small little challenges and say, I love myself, and so I'm going to love myself through this action over the next five days.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: If you desire more money, commit to a money manifestation every single night when you go to bed.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: Get on YouTube, type in money meditation.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: I mean, everything is at our fingertips, you guys.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: Everything.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: If you desire freedom, but you feel like you have to work, and work is taking away your freedom, what do you want to be doing instead?
12:23
SPEAKER_00: If you don't know, that's common.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: It's common to not know what you want, but consider this.
12:31
SPEAKER_00: Usually you know what you want.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: The reason you think you don't know what you want is because you're stuck in the how you will get it.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: Your ego is like, well, yeah, of course you want to travel the world.
12:44
SPEAKER_00: Of course you want millions of dollars.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: Of course you want the luxury house and the luxury car, but I don't know how to get those things.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: So I don't know what I want.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: You do know what you want.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: Deep down, you know what you want.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: You're too focused on how it will happen.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: You are ignoring what you want because you don't want to try to figure out how it will come.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: Looking at that big picture, too, is way too much.
13:09
SPEAKER_00: That is a lot.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: It is not simple when you're looking at everything you want at the same time.
13:17
SPEAKER_00: So look at one thing at a time and put your energy and your focus into one of those things.
13:25
SPEAKER_00: Just to start.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: Because when you look at your entire dream life as a big picture, that sends your nervous system a shock.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: And your nervous system thinks, I have to figure out how to get all of this right now.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: Overwhelming.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: Panic attack.
13:41
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's too much.
13:43
SPEAKER_00: Life is a journey, okay?
13:45
SPEAKER_00: As cliche as that is.
13:46
SPEAKER_00: It is.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Think about when you were a little baby.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: How long ago was that?
13:51
SPEAKER_00: A crazy long time ago.
13:53
SPEAKER_00: I remember being a little kid, and I'm like, I've lived lifetimes since I was a little kid.
13:59
SPEAKER_00: Lifetimes.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: I've lived lifetimes since I was 20.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: That's only 10 years.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
14:05
SPEAKER_00: Lifetimes.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: I've changed so much.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: My point is, you have all that time behind you ahead of you as well.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: You have so much time.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: So much time.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: Tell your brain, I don't have to figure everything out right now.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: I just have to know what I want.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: And start with one area of life.
14:23
SPEAKER_00: If you want love, you just need to focus on love.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: I want love today.
14:27
SPEAKER_00: I want money today.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: I want travel one day.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: You just one thing at a time.
14:32
SPEAKER_00: And I help you figure out what you want if you're struggling and how to tame your ego because it will convince you.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: It's a very good negotiator that you want less in life.
14:45
SPEAKER_00: But my Enlightened Babe Academy helps you find your limiting beliefs and how to release them.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we don't even know what our limiting beliefs are until we do the deep shadow work.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: And you need a coach to do that.
14:59
SPEAKER_00: Your body is in protective mode.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: A lot of people are in fight or flight.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: Your body is not going to let you dig deep and find the limiting beliefs.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: That is way too vulnerable.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: You are in protection mode.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: You need someone to peel the layers for you.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: And I know because I did work by myself.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: I read books, I did meditations, I did podcasts by myself for six years.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: And my life didn't change.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it did, little things, but I did not hit my dream life at all until I purchased my own coaching.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: Six months.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: I was a different person.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: I doubled my income.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: I got my dream body.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: And I'm only fucking growing.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: I am only expanding.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm only going bigger.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: But my point is, you need that assistance.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't think so.
16:00
SPEAKER_00: I was very stubborn because I am a go-getter.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: I can commit to meditating every day.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: I can commit to reading every day.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: I can commit to exercising every day.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: I can commit to affirmations every single day.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: And yet nothing changed.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: For six years, I was so stubborn thinking I could do it on my own.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: So my point is, I also invested into myself, into this type of work.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: And I never thought I would be here coaching it.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: I had zero interest.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: I did not want to teach this stuff.
16:31
SPEAKER_00: I didn't.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: Believe it or not.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: I might sound passionate about it because I'm passionate about getting what you want.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm passionate about happy people in this world.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: I have to live with you.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: I want you to be happy on this earth.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: So we change every single year and I honor my change.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: I don't shame myself for changing my mind.
16:51
SPEAKER_00: Other people do, and they're triggered when other people change their mind.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: That's not my problem.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: I change my mind all the time and I honor it.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: And I love my new desires and I love my new passions.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: So be open to your new desires and your new passions.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: And if you want to be a different person tomorrow, be that.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, we got off track a little bit, but I am sending you so much love and success.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: I hope you're feeling a little bit of motivation for this week to change your life, eat good foods, energize yourself, listen to good things for your mental health, read good books that feed your soul, and just smile at everyone and compliment them.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: And if they don't smile back, that's okay.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: You know, one person at a time.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: My feelings get hurt very easily, and I'm working on that.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: So be a light in the world, as they say.
17:40
SPEAKER_00: You can find my Enlightened Babe Academy in my bio on my social media at GorgeousBioyssa.
17:45
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for listening.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: Bye.