Latest / Sunshine & Bubbles High Vibin Podcast / From Addiction To Faith: Michelle’s Road To Redemption

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From Addiction To Faith: Michelle’s Road To Redemption · Sunshine & Bubbles High Vibin Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna go down like that, where that's how we're talking.
0:03
SPEAKER_00: And then we'll turn on the live or live.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: Hello.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: We are doing it, Miss Michelle.
0:10
SPEAKER_00: I can't help but feel like this is some sort of divine intervention.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: Do you feel that too?
0:16
SPEAKER_00: I always feel that, yeah.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: Because honestly, sister, I don't know you from anywhere.
0:19
SPEAKER_00: I know.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: But it feels like I know you from everywhere.
0:22
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Isn't that crazy?
0:24
SPEAKER_00: So for I'd like to introduce you as my dear warrior angel friend, uh, Miss Michelle.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: Who has had quite the story as I've learned through our first meeting.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I felt so inspired to have you to spent share this experience together here today.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for being here today.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for coming into Good Day Cafe.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: I love that cafe.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: I mean, how long have you been working at the Good Day Cafe?
0:53
SPEAKER_00: Since about a year.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: About a year now.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: Are they also sweet and bubbly?
0:58
SPEAKER_00: I've known a couple of the servers there.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: They are.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because I'm not really the customer.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: Well, that was just crazy because I was there at the Good Day Cafe waiting for my car to be finished detailing from the full service.
1:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:12
SPEAKER_00: And somehow we connected.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: Like you were not my server.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:15
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I am I in my heart, because I just since I've come to know the Lord, I just want to make I want to ask everyone if they know Jesus.
1:22
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:23
SPEAKER_01: Or how their relationship is with Jesus.
1:25
SPEAKER_01: So I sat down and I was like, I feel like I should ask you.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: So and you did.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like you're so sweetly like, do you know Jesus?
1:35
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, yes, yes, I do.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: And then you just come to know that that's a sister or a brother when you ask.
1:45
SPEAKER_01: So you come to know that they're family.
1:47
SPEAKER_01: And so of course we know each other.
1:49
SPEAKER_01: We're family and we have the minds of Christ.
1:51
SPEAKER_01: We have the heart of Christ.
1:52
SPEAKER_01: So it's so cool how God's family just continues to grow and you get to be a part of it.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: And you get to meet another family member who you're gonna see in heaven one day with here on earth.
2:01
SPEAKER_01: We have come to know that we have a mission and to share God's grace and mercy and love and word and salvation.
2:09
SPEAKER_01: And yeah.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: Well, you are such a rare gem out there to have the confidence and vulnerability to reach out to strangers in which you did.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: And they ask if if they know Jesus and be able to share your personal testimony with them.
2:27
unknown: Yeah.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: It really touched my heart, and it was it's been so eye-opening because I'm new.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm a baby Christian.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: So good.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm learning about him and I have had such a wonderful spiritual experience.
2:39
SPEAKER_00: And so you don't have people saying they don't make them like you every day.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: Really?
2:42
SPEAKER_00: So my heart is, I gotta be honest with you.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: It says that the harvest is plenty and the workers are few.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, Lord, use me.
2:50
SPEAKER_01: So I'm really like, and and I and I pray for Bob every day.
2:54
SPEAKER_01: So Bob is I was like, who's Bob?
2:56
SPEAKER_01: Burden, opportunity, and boldness.
3:01
SPEAKER_01: Oh, can I I gotta write that down?
3:03
SPEAKER_01: So every day I pray for Bob.
3:05
SPEAKER_01: So it's a way to remember it because I pray for Bob.
3:07
SPEAKER_01: But God doesn't, I mean, we don't we can't manufacture the boldness, we can't manufacture any of it.
3:13
SPEAKER_01: We can do nothing apart from Christ.
3:15
SPEAKER_01: So that's what the word says.
3:17
SPEAKER_01: So if we ask, he's faithful.
3:20
SPEAKER_01: So if we ask for a burden, you may cry a lot, I'll tell you that.
3:25
SPEAKER_01: A lot, because his heart is, I believe, is burdened by a lot of of the lost.
3:30
SPEAKER_01: So my heart is for the lost.
3:32
SPEAKER_01: I was lost for 42 years.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: And so also with that said, you say you talk about boldness, but my heart is that there's people that just don't know what they don't know.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: They just don't.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: You just don't.
3:47
SPEAKER_01: And and I can't remember very many people who are Christians that would call themselves Christians that even just share that Jesus loves you.
3:58
SPEAKER_01: Or maybe I didn't have ears to hear it.
4:00
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
4:01
SPEAKER_01: Either way, I'm not going to be one of that person who doesn't share the greatest gift that God's ever given me.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: So I just feel it.
4:12
SPEAKER_00: I feel it radiating from you.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: That goodness is goodness, and it's undeniable.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:19
SPEAKER_00: And what's that scripture?
4:20
SPEAKER_00: I know you shared it with me earlier, that you shall know these disciples.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: You'll know them by their fruit.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: By their fruit.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like your vibe.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you're new, you're new to this whole high vibe tribe.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: But that's what we've called ourselves at DNA Hemp.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: And where we're just elevating at a new vibration.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like it's a vibe.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: I feel your vibe.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: And it's definitely, I feel like that's what even brought us together because make no mistake.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: There is no mistakes.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: No.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: And I agree.
4:50
SPEAKER_01: There's no coincidences, no accidents.
4:52
SPEAKER_01: I don't believe in luck.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: I believe in God's perfect plan.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: I do now.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know then.
4:58
SPEAKER_01: Like it's so crazy.
4:59
SPEAKER_01: God is so He's just bigger than we can imagine.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: Just and He's so faithful.
5:09
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't I used to worry in all the stuff.
5:13
SPEAKER_01: I just couldn't.
5:14
SPEAKER_01: Now I just rest and wait and rest.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: And I don't have to pursue anything on my own for the first time in my life, which is crazy.
5:26
SPEAKER_01: Because after 42 years of feeling alone in the world, he's like, and he showed me that he was there.
5:32
SPEAKER_01: I was there.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: I was there.
5:34
SPEAKER_01: Like literally all the like people that I dated majority of my life.
5:38
SPEAKER_01: A, they're all biblical names.
5:41
SPEAKER_01: Like Daniel, Matthew.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, come on, Lord.
5:46
SPEAKER_01: And but they're Christians, if I know now, I heard words now of faith, words of faith that I didn't understand before.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: So like they were probably if I pray for my daughter's boyfriend.
5:58
SPEAKER_01: So I'm imagining that they prayed for their daughter, their son's girlfriend, that I would come to know a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
6:06
SPEAKER_01: And yeah.
6:08
SPEAKER_01: It's been a wild ride.
6:10
SPEAKER_01: It's been an absolute wild ride.
6:11
SPEAKER_01: Amazing, but wild.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: Well, if you didn't go, if you didn't grow through what you go through, you wouldn't be where you are today.
6:17
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: That's it's such a that's such a missional mindset, the way like talking like that.
6:21
SPEAKER_01: So if you as you grow as you go, so even in your faith, I learned that as you go, you grow.
6:28
SPEAKER_01: So and by doing the word, not just reading the word, like James says to be a doer of the word, not just a hearer of the word.
6:37
SPEAKER_01: That really changed a lot of things.
6:38
SPEAKER_01: I think one of the first stories I heard in the Bible was The Good Samaritan and the sermon series.
6:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, first the church that I came from was like go tell the world.
6:52
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I can do that.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: I served in waitresses my whole life, and so I could talk to anybody all the time.
6:58
SPEAKER_01: So God's just using that.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: And so I used to say, Do you know how like I was like, Do you know Jesus?
7:04
SPEAKER_01: Do you know Jesus?
7:05
SPEAKER_01: Like I literally could not.
7:07
SPEAKER_01: I was so free for the first time in my life.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: Free, like authentically, genuinely free.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: I would say the okay.
7:18
SPEAKER_01: So let me just let you.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: Where do you want to start?
7:20
SPEAKER_01: Where should I start?
7:22
SPEAKER_00: There is just so much.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: I just love, I just, it's like music to my ears listening to your you're on your fire.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: For Jesus.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: And I just I do you wanna however you want to start, Miss Michelle?
7:32
SPEAKER_00: Where do you want to start?
7:33
SPEAKER_00: Start from the beginning.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: Oh, goodness.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: That's always a good spot to start.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's get to the dark.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: No.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: I think that the biggest lie that I believed.
7:42
SPEAKER_01: So like the the kingdom is like upside down to the world.
7:46
SPEAKER_01: Like literally.
7:47
SPEAKER_01: So what God showed me in the beginning was that everything that you used to do, do the opposite.
7:53
SPEAKER_01: Like living, like the biggest lie I, if I'm honest and authentic, is the biggest lie I believed was that life was all about me.
8:04
SPEAKER_01: Me, me, me, I, I, I.
8:05
SPEAKER_01: The ego.
8:06
SPEAKER_01: That's the ego talking.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: And I had, but I but I didn't know that there was another way.
8:11
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know that he was the way.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know that that God was re there was a God, let alone that he wanted to give me new life, transplant, give me a heart of flesh.
8:22
SPEAKER_01: And so it's just now it's just tender and soft to people.
8:26
SPEAKER_01: It's tender and soft to him to hear his voice.
8:29
SPEAKER_01: To when you didn't when you've never heard the voice of the Lord, like and you hear his voice, you're just like, what?
8:36
SPEAKER_01: It gets it hits different.
8:39
SPEAKER_01: It hits some way different.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I was in active addiction from losing my children due to some DCFS stuff.
8:49
SPEAKER_01: I was in a bad way.
8:51
SPEAKER_01: I just didn't care about my life anymore.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: I didn't lose my kids because of addiction, but I became addicted after I left my kids because I just didn't want to live anymore.
8:58
SPEAKER_01: Like that's what I was living for was my kids.
9:01
SPEAKER_01: I was in a I was for the majority of my life ADHD medicine, bipolar medicine, diagnosis bipolar, ADHD and anxiety.
9:09
SPEAKER_01: So I I believe now that those medications clouded me to even know there was a God, let alone that any of the things that I know now, that I needed that for control, I needed that for peace, and I needed that all the things that he offers.
9:24
SPEAKER_01: But the world will tell you, just go get a dough to a doctor, go to the psychiatrist.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: No, just go to the Lord.
9:29
SPEAKER_01: Literally, just go to the Lord.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: So I he was he found me on TikTok.
9:35
SPEAKER_01: I was working, okay, so I was working for a believer.
9:39
SPEAKER_01: She was an 88-year-old widow.
9:40
SPEAKER_01: I was privileged to serve.
9:43
SPEAKER_01: And I at that time was not even qualified for that job.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: I had I had felonies on my record, but God is bigger than all that stuff.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: Like he ordained the job, I would say 100%.
9:57
SPEAKER_01: I applied and got and got the job.
10:00
SPEAKER_01: And I didn't have to pass a background check for six months, which is I was taking care of the elderly.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't like in a- You were already in.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: I was already in.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: She was like, You can't have her.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: I was like, okay, it was awesome.
10:12
SPEAKER_01: This was caretaking.
10:13
SPEAKER_01: Caretaking.
10:14
SPEAKER_01: I was a home health care provider, yeah.
10:17
SPEAKER_01: And so I worked four 24-hour shifts.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes when I didn't have my daughter, I would see my daughter every other weekend.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: If I didn't have her, I would stay for like 11 days straight in this quiet, safe, faith-filled space.
10:31
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
10:32
SPEAKER_01: He had me there for a full year.
10:35
SPEAKER_01: I'm so grateful for that time.
10:37
SPEAKER_01: Like, so grateful.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: So you can imagine the chaos in my mind if I'm painting a picture of bipolar, like manic, hypomanic, depressed, like all the things, all the time.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: Anxiety.
10:49
SPEAKER_01: So you just pop a pill to try to get yourself to even ADHD with racing thoughts.
10:54
SPEAKER_01: Like it's crazy.
10:56
SPEAKER_01: So all those medications constantly for I would say 10 plus years.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: And so if you've heard of bipolar, you know that it's absolutely torture.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: It's absolutely torture the diagnosis.
11:10
SPEAKER_01: So my biological mom was diagnosed with it.
11:13
SPEAKER_01: My dad was diagnosed with bipolar.
11:15
SPEAKER_01: And so I just that's what I had, you know, I just believed it.
11:20
SPEAKER_01: And so I this is just I'm just trying to trying to paint a little bit of a picture of where my mind was at at the time.
11:28
SPEAKER_01: And so, okay.
11:30
SPEAKER_01: So I started a foot Facebook page because my ex and I had had a business together.
11:36
SPEAKER_01: And so I was trying to recreate that and then try to, you know, to trying to get a page together to get the business going and promote what I was doing.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: I was trying to take down barns.
11:45
SPEAKER_01: I was trying to do it all by myself again.
11:47
SPEAKER_01: So the face I was on TikTok.
11:49
SPEAKER_01: So I put her to bed one night, and I was there for four days, like I said, in a row.
11:53
SPEAKER_01: And I put her to bed and I started scrolling on TikTok.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: And a service came of this gentleman, or this pastor was from Atlanta, and he said I was speaking about a service called Generation of Hope.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Hope, yep, I can use a little of that.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: So I got a ticket.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: Now, this is how blind and deceived I was.
12:16
SPEAKER_01: I drove five hours from Illinois to Minnesota for a service.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: There are services everywhere.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: This is not just any old service.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that any of them are any old service.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: But you know what I'm saying?
12:29
SPEAKER_00: Like it reached you.
12:31
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it reached me beyond words.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: So I drive, so I leave on a Friday, and I'm I could see that something was going on in TikTok because there was like things I felt like God was talking to me through people, like test testimonies, like his word was coming up.
12:47
SPEAKER_01: But at the time I didn't know, like fully, like fully grasp the reality of about what was just about to happen.
12:53
SPEAKER_01: So I get in the car, I drive five hours from Illinois to Minnesota to attend a service.
12:59
SPEAKER_01: I walked into the service, and it was a very charismatic church.
13:03
SPEAKER_01: I walk in and I was set in the second row, and I was like, the like you know charismatic, but that's my first my first interaction with Christianity.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: Which I mean, maybe some listeners don't know what charismatic is.
13:20
SPEAKER_01: People were getting like slain in the spirit, like throw your hands up, yelling at the top of your lungs.
13:29
SPEAKER_01: All the stuff, and I'm just like, I have no idea what's gonna happen.
13:32
SPEAKER_01: So I just I'm like, what the people are running around the church, like it's crazy.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: But I mean, praise God.
13:39
SPEAKER_01: I walk in and it was his home church, so they were very extra enthusiastic.
13:44
SPEAKER_01: They're exuberant.
13:45
SPEAKER_01: They he he came from Atlanta to to Minnesota, and there was it was his home church, it was all of his family.
13:51
SPEAKER_01: So I stuck out A, like a sore thumb, because he knew everybody there.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: So I was sitting in the second row, and he doesn't stuck out that.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, girl.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: I stuck out like he knew they knew I wasn't from there.
14:06
SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
14:07
SPEAKER_01: How brave and bold.
14:09
SPEAKER_01: So I used to live in Cicero in Illinois, so I'm not afraid of wherever.
14:14
SPEAKER_01: People like you went there by yourself.
14:15
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I used to live in Cicero.
14:18
SPEAKER_01: I don't know where Cicero is.
14:19
SPEAKER_01: Cicero is like south side of Chicago.
14:21
SPEAKER_01: What?
14:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, girl.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's where you grew up?
14:24
SPEAKER_01: No, that's where I was in addiction.
14:26
SPEAKER_01: But that's yeah, yeah, part of that.
14:29
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so addiction will take you to some weird places, I'll tell you that.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I this so he does an altar call, and I don't go out because I have no idea what he's talking about.
14:40
SPEAKER_01: And I'm watching people like lay on the ground convulsing, like after they he prays over them, and I'm like, I have no idea what's going on here.
14:48
SPEAKER_01: So I'm sitting there and then he continues to preach, and he's walking back and forth and back and forth, and he stops mid-service, puts his hand out to me, and it felt like a spotlight was on me.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: He said, The Lord told me to tell you to get away from all the broken people in your life, and it was time to receive your salvation.
15:03
SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, so I go to the front, and I'm like trembling at this point.
15:07
SPEAKER_01: That resonated with you.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like you it pierced.
15:11
SPEAKER_01: Like it felt like a spotlight was literally on me.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: Even though it wasn't, but it was like, whoa, yeah, yeah.
15:18
SPEAKER_01: So I so I go to the front, and it was, and so we pray, and the only the way I can describe what happened was like electricity through my whole body from head to toe.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: So I'm like trembling, trembling, trembling, and I go back to the hotel room, and I was supposed to leave the next morning.
15:37
SPEAKER_01: Well, I couldn't get out of bed till Monday.
15:40
SPEAKER_01: I was God is doing whatever the Holy Spirit was doing whatever the Holy Spirit needed to do.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: Restoration.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: Restoration.
15:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, girl.
15:49
SPEAKER_01: So I drive back to Illinois and I I share with Tony.
15:54
SPEAKER_01: That's the lady that I used to work for.
15:56
SPEAKER_01: Her name is Tony.
15:57
SPEAKER_01: I share with her what happened, and she gives me my first Bible.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: And is this it?
16:03
SPEAKER_01: This is no, this is my this is no, this is not my first one.
16:06
SPEAKER_01: This is because this is when you're in depth.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: Did you put on these?
16:09
SPEAKER_00: Lift it up, I can see.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: Did you put on the tab?
16:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: Because she's like, you're organized.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I like that.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's good.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: Good on yes.
16:18
SPEAKER_01: So I read Matthew 6, 6.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: Starts like starts about how you pray.
16:25
SPEAKER_01: It says, whenever you pray, you must go.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: Now it's not like the like the hypocrites, because they love to pray standing in the city of the gods and on the street corner to be seen by people.
16:35
SPEAKER_01: Truly I tell you, they have had their reward.
16:37
SPEAKER_01: But when you pray, go into your room, into your private room, shut the door, and pray to your father who is in secret.
16:44
SPEAKER_01: And your father in secret, who's your father who sees you in secret will reward you.
16:49
SPEAKER_01: So he encouraged she encouraged me to go be alone with the Lord, to go learn from him.
16:56
SPEAKER_01: And so I did.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: And I had so much time, still in active addiction, still on the medications, all the stuff.
17:07
SPEAKER_01: I was also at that point.
17:09
SPEAKER_01: So God found me on TikTok, and I'm like, okay.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: Which brought you to the charismatic.
17:15
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
17:15
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, and I now that's in your algorithm.
17:18
SPEAKER_01: So absolutely.
17:19
SPEAKER_01: Like, absolutely.
17:20
SPEAKER_01: So I'm still I'm still doing by I started going to Bible study every Tuesday with the same pastor because he had did it on Zoom.
17:26
SPEAKER_01: And he would just prophesy over my life.
17:29
SPEAKER_01: Like he didn't know it wasn't per se for me, but like every he would just prophesy and speak.
17:34
SPEAKER_01: He's like, I don't know who I'm speaking to, but this, and he would just talk like that.
17:38
SPEAKER_01: And then I just saw these things happen in my life.
17:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, what is going on?
17:42
SPEAKER_01: Like God just revealing how big he is and how he works and through people and all the things.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: So and if at that time I was now that your eyes are like ears, eyes, I can't.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: I literally, through the power of the Holy Spirit, like I don't hear the world the same.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: I see the world in color.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: I did not see it in color at all.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: Like it was dark, it was all the things.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: So it's cool, like so the veil, I would say, is lifted.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
18:11
SPEAKER_01: The truth is revealed.
18:13
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, there's a God, and like what?
18:16
SPEAKER_01: Like, I still like it, still kind of blows my mind.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: I still am like, I was so blind and so deceived.
18:23
SPEAKER_01: And it says the God of this 2 Corinthians 4, 4 says the God of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers so they cannot see the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
18:33
SPEAKER_01: So I was blind with me.
18:34
SPEAKER_01: I was blind.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: So I see people now, and they may just be blind.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: They may not be, they may just be ignorant to the truth.
18:42
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I'm saying?
18:43
SPEAKER_01: Like so that's where my heart's at.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: My heart is like I was there until God revealed it to me.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: Until God revealed it to me.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: In his time.
18:51
SPEAKER_01: In his time.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: Like so it allows me to have grace for people, allows me to show mercy to people because they just don't know what they don't know.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: Because I certainly didn't for 42 years.
19:02
SPEAKER_01: So they could just be lost, like literally.
19:05
SPEAKER_01: So my heart is so in tune with that.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: I I it hurts for them.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: Like, is that if that makes sense?
19:14
SPEAKER_01: My heart doesn't really ever hurt for from people anymore.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: Like, yes, my the people on clad are closest to me and can hurt my feelings, but the people in the world, like, I I have like such a deep compassion because if they don't know the truth, like they just don't know.
19:32
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
19:34
SPEAKER_01: So there's that.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: I also read Matthew Seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all the rest will be added on to you.
19:42
SPEAKER_01: So at that time, I'm like, okay, God, like you're gonna bring my kids home.
19:47
SPEAKER_01: I knew that in my heart, and that's what I was seeking him for in the beginning.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: And I got so much more.
19:54
SPEAKER_01: My kids are a bonus.
19:55
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I'm saying?
19:56
SPEAKER_01: Like knowing him, like there's nothing like.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: Like knowing him.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: And it says to know him is eternal life.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: Then I found out about six months in that I was never gonna that I was like I didn't even know about heaven.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: I wasn't in it for heaven because he gave me freedom.
20:12
SPEAKER_01: I wasn't in it for heaven.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I'm saying?
20:16
SPEAKER_01: Like I learned about heaven about six months.
20:18
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm never gonna die.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: Like what?
20:21
SPEAKER_01: Like I believed if I'm honest with you, have you seen the movie All Dogs Go to Heaven?
20:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
20:26
SPEAKER_01: That's a lie.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: That's a lie.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, like I just never thought about death.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: I never thought about an afterlife.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: I never thought about that stuff.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: But like anyone that I'd ever went to a funeral for, they just were all in heaven.
20:41
SPEAKER_01: That's not the truth.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: That's a lie.
20:44
SPEAKER_01: There's a big lie.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: So I learned about eternal life about six months in, and I'm like, I'm never gonna die.
20:50
SPEAKER_01: But there is a heaven.
20:51
SPEAKER_01: There is a heaven, yes, but there's also a hell.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: Right.
20:56
SPEAKER_01: So I thought everyone went to heaven.
20:58
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I'm saying?
21:00
SPEAKER_01: I'm just that's what I thought.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm learning.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: So there is like if G if you have not received Jesus as your Lord and Savior, He's the only way.
21:10
SPEAKER_01: He is the way, the truth, and the life.
21:12
SPEAKER_01: So every funeral that I went to literally was like we don't, I mean, I just didn't know that there was something that does that make sense.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm beating it together.
21:23
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, okay.
21:24
SPEAKER_01: So there's that.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: So we are all gonna live forever, but yeah, there's different eternities.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: There's different you're where you spend eternity.
21:31
SPEAKER_01: There's I just real I that's so the word of God says.
21:35
SPEAKER_01: Like you know, Jesus is the only way to the back to the Father.
21:40
SPEAKER_01: He's the only way.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
21:42
SPEAKER_01: So that's what I'll say that I believe that.
21:44
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah.
21:45
SPEAKER_01: Salvation is not on him alone.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: So I learned that, and then I'm like, oh my word.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: Like then my heart just wrenched, I'll be honest, for people that just don't know me at you know what I mean?
22:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's always a yet.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, so I'm going back to where was I at in the beginning.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: Oh, so I was in it.
22:12
SPEAKER_01: Oh, so let's reverse.
22:13
SPEAKER_01: Because I was getting a little bit too into the word right there.
22:16
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, I was with you.
22:17
SPEAKER_01: I was with you.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: So we so I was in active addiction, but I also was on all the medications.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: So I watched testimonies through TikTok, like people like going reading, sharing their testimonies of like, and this girl came up and popped up, and she said that God had delivered her from ADHD and from anxiety.
22:38
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Okay, God.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: I said, Okay, God, if you're this big healer and I'm so special, show me.
22:45
SPEAKER_01: And when you've been tormented your whole life with those with those diagnoses and just the doctor's appointments and they have medication, and if they run out of the medication, you have to go to this like just the chaos all the time.
22:57
SPEAKER_01: And there's no real cure, from what I understood.
23:01
SPEAKER_01: It's something you just medicate and you just, you know.
23:04
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, uh, he led me to.
23:08
SPEAKER_01: I said, if you're the great physician, show me.
23:11
SPEAKER_01: And so he led me to wean down from the medications.
23:15
SPEAKER_01: I fasted for three days, and he delivered me from all of it.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: I haven't touched a medication, I haven't missed a night's sleep, I haven't had a manic episode since that day.
23:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: And no more bipolar.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: No, that's the manic.
23:36
SPEAKER_01: So you're you're manic and then hypomanic and then depressed, and no more week days in bed, no more four days straight in bed.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: And that's just from being being a believer.
23:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
23:48
SPEAKER_01: And he like the stillness in my mind.
23:52
SPEAKER_01: You've no idea.
23:53
SPEAKER_01: And to be able to maintain that, yeah, yeah, it's such a gift.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: It's such a gift.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: I like I slay, I could lay down and I can just sleep.
24:01
SPEAKER_01: Like I can just sleep, like it's crazy.
24:05
SPEAKER_01: So I'm in this still, I'm in this act addiction.
24:09
SPEAKER_01: Now, this is like a beautiful story out of God turns all things.
24:14
SPEAKER_01: All things too good.
24:16
SPEAKER_01: My biological mom had left me when I was a year and a half for the same addiction that I ended up on.
24:24
SPEAKER_01: So I miss sitting at the gas station about a week after he delivered me from the diagnosis and the stillness in my mind, and I just was so done with this addiction.
24:35
SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, I'm like, you can do this.
24:37
SPEAKER_01: Like, you just did that, I know you can do this.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: And so I heard I'm sitting at the gas station and I heard very clearly, you have to forgive your mom.
24:46
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, oh no, we're not doing that.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, friend, we're not doing that.
24:51
SPEAKER_01: And then he said, You've been forgiven of everything you've ever done.
24:56
SPEAKER_01: If I have a plan for your life, I have a plan for hers.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: You have to forgive your mom.
25:01
SPEAKER_01: I said, Okay.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: So I call my twin brother, and I'm sobbing at this point.
25:07
SPEAKER_01: And I called my twin brother.
25:09
SPEAKER_01: I asked for my mom's number, and I called her on the phone.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: Still sitting at the gas station.
25:14
SPEAKER_01: You're you have not moved.
25:15
SPEAKER_01: I have not moved.
25:17
SPEAKER_01: People are like, what's going on with this crazy girl?
25:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm sitting there, I was like, God told me that I have to forgive you, and I'm so sorry it's taken me so long.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: And I had all this resentment and unforgiveness for all this majority of my life with the front with her.
25:29
SPEAKER_01: She drops the phone and she picks her back phone back up.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: She's like, God is real.
25:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, God is so real.
25:35
SPEAKER_01: So this was about two and a half years ago that that happened.
25:39
SPEAKER_01: We've talked almost every day, almost every day or every other day.
25:42
SPEAKER_01: She lives in Virginia.
25:44
SPEAKER_01: And actually on the 15th of December, my husband and I have a flight to go see her for the first time in 27 years.
25:51
unknown: Wow.
25:52
SPEAKER_01: And and just to top it off, he delivered me from that addiction the next day, gone.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: No withdrawal, done.
25:59
SPEAKER_01: God is good.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: So be from speaking with you, has she become a believer then?
26:08
SPEAKER_01: I think she was.
26:10
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think that she's read the Bible.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: She definitely is praising God for the reconciliation.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: I think that, I mean, I think she's a she's definitely a believer.
26:21
SPEAKER_01: She says God's God is real all the time, but I think that professing Jesus, I don't know that that's she's come to the saving knowledge of I don't know.
26:28
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
26:29
SPEAKER_01: God only knows.
26:30
SPEAKER_01: On the 15th.
26:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: She actually had an encounter this past year and they said, and she said this these people from the church came in and brought us food.
26:42
SPEAKER_01: And I said, and they asked if if we knew Jesus.
26:45
SPEAKER_01: She's like, Are you kidding me?
26:46
SPEAKER_01: That the Lord brought my daughter home.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: So there's something there.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: He's working.
26:51
SPEAKER_00: He's working.
26:51
SPEAKER_00: He is no doubt working.
26:53
SPEAKER_00: He's always working.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
26:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
26:55
SPEAKER_01: My nephews, two of my nephews gave their life to Christ since then.
26:59
SPEAKER_01: So many reconciliations in my life.
27:02
SPEAKER_01: And I the and the privilege that I have now is to get to share what only God to do, who actually did the things that like people are like, what happened to you?
27:11
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, Jesus.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: That's all I say.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Jesus.
27:16
SPEAKER_00: Literally.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: For real.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: I mean, what's the reaction?
27:19
SPEAKER_00: Are they like, what?
27:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, what happens when you encounter someone like myself and and I were to say no?
27:28
SPEAKER_00: Like I don't know Jesus.
27:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
27:30
SPEAKER_00: What's your have you encountered that thus far?
27:33
SPEAKER_00: Or has it been like your vibe has attracted your track?
27:37
SPEAKER_01: I would say, yeah.
27:39
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I would say there's not very many.
27:40
SPEAKER_01: I mean, people just let me share.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: And they're like, that's wonderful for you.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: And I believe, if I'm honest with you, like it either no matter where they're at, God knows where they're at.
27:49
SPEAKER_01: I had a gentleman, it's a beautiful testimony just just like a month, maybe about a month ago.
27:55
SPEAKER_01: And he's somebody that I knew from my past life.
27:58
SPEAKER_01: And he's brought more people in in his time to share, but also have seen my transformation because I'm I was on TikTok and now I just share as much Jesus on TikTok because I'd like I was becoming full circle, not of quite the following.
28:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, on TikTok.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: And I've I've reviewed it.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: It's so inspiring and encouraging and loving.
28:18
SPEAKER_01: That's the way God spoke to me.
28:19
SPEAKER_01: So, like one one seed, like we're not here to save them.
28:23
SPEAKER_01: We're here to say plant seeds and let God water it, let God grow it, let God do whatever he needs to do.
28:29
SPEAKER_01: There was a gentleman, he's out actually, we were I found I knew him from my hometown, and I won't say his name, but he I knew him and and and I'm like literally on the phone.
28:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, do you just have to?
28:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, pray for the Lord to come in your life, pray for Jesus to come in your life, let him transform your life, let him let him do all the things.
28:47
SPEAKER_01: Like I didn't like it was only, it wasn't like one person leading me through anything.
28:52
SPEAKER_01: It was literally like the Bible, Jesus, the Holy Spirit.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: Like it was just him and I for the first year.
29:01
SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, just do this and just do that.
29:03
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, just ask him.
29:04
SPEAKER_01: God, if you're real, come into my life.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: Like, it's either that easy, you know.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: Like, there's not like the fancy words that you have to say.
29:11
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
29:12
SPEAKER_01: But I said, let him reveal himself to you.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: And I was so excited and so like my life wasn't for nothing.
29:19
SPEAKER_01: All the pain wasn't for nothing.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: It's never for nothing.
29:23
SPEAKER_01: It's always like he turned my pain into purpose.
29:27
SPEAKER_01: He oh my gosh, I'm just so grateful.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm grateful that there's actual purpose in my life.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: There was no purpose in my life.
29:34
SPEAKER_01: I felt so okay.
29:37
SPEAKER_01: So this guy was, I got a phone call from a correctional office, and I was like, oh Lord, what's that?
29:43
SPEAKER_01: Like, I thought, who needs money?
29:45
SPEAKER_01: That's literally what I thought in my head.
29:48
SPEAKER_01: And I heard this voice on the other end of the line, and he said, Michelle, and I said, Yeah, he said, This is Ray.
29:54
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Ray, like my dad's name is Ray.
29:58
SPEAKER_01: I don't know Ray.
30:00
SPEAKER_01: He's like, Ray, and I was like, Oh, he's like, I just want to, I just called, he didn't call collect, he called prepaid, so he had already paid, he paid for it.
30:10
SPEAKER_01: He said, I just wanted to call and say thank you.
30:13
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, for what?
30:14
SPEAKER_01: And he was like, for sharing the gospel with me.
30:17
SPEAKER_01: God got a hold of him in such a way that he's now in he's in jail or he's in prison because he, you know, whatever happened, but he's been in the Bible five days a week while he's there, and he's like, What is going on?
30:30
SPEAKER_01: Like God got a hold of him in a way that's like he's got him in this little cocoon.
30:35
SPEAKER_01: So we prayed over his testimony, we prayed over God's goodness, we just prayed all the things.
30:40
SPEAKER_01: Like I pray over testimony a lot because God used testimonies in my life, and Revelation 12, 11 says, by the blood of the land, the word to give testimony.
30:51
SPEAKER_01: So it's nothing I in not my life, is nothing I could have ever done on my own.
30:55
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely not.
30:56
SPEAKER_01: I tried for years, for years and years and years.
30:59
SPEAKER_01: Actually, I'm wondering if I could read this poem.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: If I were to describe my journey, I probably should have read this in the beginning.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, but I didn't.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: Well, no, we're here now.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: Miss Michelle and the divine timing.
31:13
SPEAKER_00: That's right, that's right, that's right.
31:15
SPEAKER_01: So you can kind of hear my heart and where I was at and kind of where I'm at.
31:19
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
31:20
SPEAKER_01: It's called holes.
31:22
SPEAKER_01: And you wrote this.
31:23
SPEAKER_01: I did not write this.
31:23
SPEAKER_01: You did not.
31:24
SPEAKER_01: If I were to describe my journey, you really resonate.
31:27
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
31:28
SPEAKER_01: This would give you a very big insight to where I'm at.
31:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
31:31
SPEAKER_01: I had been in that hole for a very long time.
31:33
SPEAKER_01: In the dark, in the damp, in the cold, in the slime.
31:36
SPEAKER_01: The shaft was above me.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: I could see it quite clear, but there was no way I could ever see reach it from here, nor can I remember the world way up there.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: So I lost all my hope and gave in to despair.
31:46
SPEAKER_01: I knew nothing but darkness, the floor and the wall.
31:49
SPEAKER_01: Then off from a distance I heard someone call.
31:51
SPEAKER_01: Get up, get ready, there's nothing the matter.
31:53
SPEAKER_01: Take rocks and old sticks and filed up a fine ladder.
31:56
SPEAKER_01: This had thought had never occurred to me, had never crossed my mind, but I started to stack all the stones I could find.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: When I ran out of stones, old sticks were my goal.
32:05
SPEAKER_01: For one way or another, I climb out of this hole.
32:08
SPEAKER_01: I soon had to I soon had a ladder who stood very tall.
32:11
SPEAKER_01: I thought I'll soon leave this place once and for all.
32:14
SPEAKER_01: I climbed up my ladder, a difficult shore.
32:16
SPEAKER_01: For lifting these boulders, my shoulders were sore.
32:19
SPEAKER_01: I climbed up the ladder, but soon had to stop, for my ladder stopped short, some ten feet from the top.
32:24
SPEAKER_01: I went back down my ladder and felt all around.
32:27
SPEAKER_01: There were no there were no more boulders or sticks to be found.
32:31
SPEAKER_01: I sat down in darkness and started to cry.
32:33
SPEAKER_01: I've done all I d I could do, and I've gave it my best try, but in spite of my work in this hole I must die.
32:39
SPEAKER_01: And all I could do was sit and think why.
32:42
SPEAKER_01: Was my ladder too short?
32:43
SPEAKER_01: Was my hole much too deep?
32:44
SPEAKER_01: Then away from up high, a voice said, Do not weep.
32:48
SPEAKER_01: Then faith, hope, and love entered my chest.
32:51
SPEAKER_01: As a voice calmly told me I had done my best.
32:54
SPEAKER_01: He said, You worked hard, your labor's been rough, but at but the ladder you've built is at last tall enough.
33:00
SPEAKER_01: So do not despair.
33:01
SPEAKER_01: There's reason to hope.
33:03
SPEAKER_01: I just climb up your ladder, I'll throw down my rope.
33:06
SPEAKER_01: I climbed up my ladder and then climbed up the cord.
33:09
SPEAKER_01: When I got to the top, there stood the Lord.
33:13
SPEAKER_01: I've never been happier.
33:14
SPEAKER_01: My struggle was done.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: I blinked in the brightness that came from the sun.
33:19
SPEAKER_01: I felt on the I fell to the ground.
33:21
SPEAKER_01: His feet did I kiss.
33:23
SPEAKER_01: I cried, Lord, how could I ever repay thee for this?
33:25
SPEAKER_01: He looked all around.
33:28
SPEAKER_01: There were holes in the ground.
33:29
SPEAKER_01: There were people inside it that were seen all around.
33:32
SPEAKER_01: There were thousands of holes that were damp, dark, and deep.
33:35
SPEAKER_01: And the Lord looked to me and he said, Feed my sheep.
33:39
SPEAKER_01: And he went on to save other He went on his way to save other lost souls.
33:43
SPEAKER_01: So I got right down to work, calling down to the holes.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: Get up, get ready.
33:47
SPEAKER_01: There's nothing the matter.
33:48
SPEAKER_01: Take rocks and old sticks and build up a fine ladder.
33:51
SPEAKER_01: It is now my calling to spread the good word, the most glorious message that man ever heard.
33:56
SPEAKER_01: There is one who is coming to save one and all, and we need to be ready when he gives the call.
34:01
SPEAKER_01: He'll pull us out of the holes that we're in and save all our souls from cold death and from sin.
34:06
SPEAKER_01: So do not lose faith.
34:08
SPEAKER_01: There's reason to hope.
34:09
SPEAKER_01: Just climb up your ladder.
34:10
SPEAKER_01: He'll throw down his rope.
34:13
SPEAKER_01: Makes me cry.
34:14
SPEAKER_01: Oh, he got me.
34:16
SPEAKER_01: He's a good one.
34:19
SPEAKER_01: So I feel like that's where I'm at.
34:21
SPEAKER_01: Like I so about four months into my journey, I started going.
34:25
SPEAKER_01: I the Lord led me.
34:27
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, I like that.
34:30
SPEAKER_01: He'll get you.
34:32
SPEAKER_01: Shivers too.
34:33
SPEAKER_01: Like I call them Holy Ghost bumps.
34:36
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
34:36
SPEAKER_01: The Holy Ghost bumps.
34:40
SPEAKER_01: So about four months into my journey, I prayed for community.
34:44
SPEAKER_01: I watched The Chosen.
34:45
SPEAKER_01: Like I've been like eat, sleep, breathe Jesus since day one.
34:49
SPEAKER_01: Because I was like, who is this God and why do you love me?
34:52
SPEAKER_01: What is going on?
34:53
SPEAKER_01: And I have a purpose.
34:54
SPEAKER_01: And like I'm just grateful to be free from addiction, to be honest with you, and free from diagnosis.
35:01
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
35:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm such in such a bad way.
35:04
SPEAKER_01: And free from myself.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: Like, we're I'm really bad at my life.
35:10
SPEAKER_01: He's really good at our lives.
35:12
SPEAKER_01: Like, he just is.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: And he has a plan and a purpose for each one of us.
35:19
SPEAKER_01: Like, and only he knows what that is for our lives.
35:23
SPEAKER_01: So I feel like what a privilege.
35:25
SPEAKER_01: So, okay, so when I went to this church, like I just didn't know what I didn't know, right?
35:29
SPEAKER_01: And I'm my heart is like, I wonder how many people out there who just don't know what they don't know.
35:33
SPEAKER_01: Living in Illinois, there's Midwest nice out here, if I'm honest, in Wisconsin.
35:38
SPEAKER_01: Oh, for sure.
35:39
SPEAKER_01: You do like people are just nice.
35:41
SPEAKER_01: We're nice.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: We're just nice.
35:43
SPEAKER_01: I love Illinois, but people can just be not nice.
35:47
SPEAKER_01: So we have a name for that.
35:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
35:50
SPEAKER_01: I imagine.
35:51
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, so like when I was in Illinois, I'm like, you don't know Jesus, do you?
35:56
SPEAKER_01: Like it was very easy for me to have a conversation with someone that it's challenging, more challenging here.
36:02
SPEAKER_01: Like I live really I really have to pray like Lord.
36:06
SPEAKER_01: And so the Lord would reveal to me like who was and who wasn't there in Illinois.
36:11
SPEAKER_01: You just see the joy.
36:14
SPEAKER_01: Now there's nice and joy.
36:15
SPEAKER_01: That's a little harder to discern.
36:17
SPEAKER_01: It's harder to discern.
36:19
SPEAKER_01: So now I I changed my my focus of like, not do you know Jesus?
36:24
SPEAKER_01: Because I'd be honest with you, people in Illinois, I just knew if they didn't know Jesus.
36:29
SPEAKER_01: Like you can't be, you know what I'm saying, anyways.
36:32
SPEAKER_01: Because there's just a joy.
36:33
SPEAKER_01: You just there just is.
36:35
SPEAKER_01: So it was go tell the world, right?
36:39
SPEAKER_01: And Mark says, go tell the world, no, go tell the world about me.
36:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, yeah, I can do that.
36:44
SPEAKER_01: So I would just share and share and share.
36:46
SPEAKER_01: And I don't know what kind of seeds are planted.
36:47
SPEAKER_01: I don't know, like, I don't know.
36:50
SPEAKER_01: And so here, my it's changed, my evangelism is changed from not do you know Jesus?
36:57
SPEAKER_01: Because I feel like there's a lot of people that know Jesus, but if I'm my now is is how is your relationship with Jesus?
37:03
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
37:05
SPEAKER_01: And then they have to, and then it's not a yes or no, it's a hmm, how is my relationship with Jesus?
37:11
SPEAKER_01: Or I got confirmed.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: You hear that a lot.
37:15
SPEAKER_01: I go to church.
37:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't even know what that means to get con.
37:18
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I don't even know what that means.
37:19
SPEAKER_01: Like, did I get confirmed, Lord?
37:21
SPEAKER_01: Like, I you know what I mean?
37:23
SPEAKER_01: Like, but that's what I think that there's a lot of the structure in that way of what the what people are taught.
37:28
SPEAKER_01: And just read the Bible, read your word.
37:32
SPEAKER_01: Faith comes by hearing, by hearing through the word.
37:35
SPEAKER_01: And he will reveal himself.
37:36
SPEAKER_01: It's so good.
37:37
SPEAKER_01: Did I share this already?
37:40
SPEAKER_00: No, no, okay.
37:41
SPEAKER_00: I want to know about the prayer closet.
37:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
37:44
SPEAKER_01: So Matthew 6, 6, 6, 5, yeah, 6.6 talks about yeah, about going into your room.
37:52
SPEAKER_01: So it says shut the door behind you.
37:53
SPEAKER_01: Like I literally have a chair in my prayer closet.
37:56
SPEAKER_01: It's my war room.
37:57
SPEAKER_01: It's strategic prayer for my now.
38:00
SPEAKER_01: I'm just interceding for my family.
38:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm interceding for yeah, all the things.
38:05
SPEAKER_01: So I have like like what you have on the room.
38:07
SPEAKER_01: You have a room.
38:08
SPEAKER_01: Oh girl.
38:08
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever watched the movie War Room?
38:10
SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like this room is kind of like a sanctuary of sorts for me.
38:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
38:17
SPEAKER_00: And I do a lot of divulging here.
38:20
SPEAKER_00: But I love I I'm listening.
38:22
SPEAKER_00: No, you're good.
38:23
SPEAKER_01: I want to know more.
38:23
SPEAKER_01: So I have like a prayer closet.
38:25
SPEAKER_01: So it's like a room.
38:26
SPEAKER_01: I had my made my husband make it because I had one in Illinois, and I'm like, where's my prayer closet?
38:31
SPEAKER_01: Because I just need that.
38:32
SPEAKER_01: You just gotta get alone with the Lord.
38:34
SPEAKER_01: Like you're crying, you're upset, whatever the case is.
38:36
SPEAKER_01: But you just wring your heart out in there.
38:38
SPEAKER_01: You ring it out, like you pour your heart out.
38:41
SPEAKER_01: Didn't you stay away from the like trying to vent to the you know places that you used to vent to?
38:47
SPEAKER_01: So I since I used to, when I first got to know the Lord, I was I would no longer like call to vent to my friends.
38:53
SPEAKER_01: I would be like, I would basically like call Jesus and leave him a voicemails.
38:58
SPEAKER_01: But I so I have all these recordings to myself, and I'm like, and people probably think as I'm driving, they're like, who is this crazy lady talking to?
39:05
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm not talking to myself.
39:08
SPEAKER_01: It's fun.
39:08
SPEAKER_01: I think it's when you know you're never alone, he promises that.
39:12
SPEAKER_01: Like I just watched him transform my life, and I wasn't doing anything.
39:17
SPEAKER_01: I wasn't doing anything, trying to get myself a job, trying to do this, trying not that you don't have to, but he leads you to those things.
39:25
SPEAKER_01: Like, if it's not, if I don't have it yet, I'm that it's not for me.
39:29
SPEAKER_01: And whatever I had he has for me, I won't miss it.
39:32
SPEAKER_01: Like he'll have a divine intervention.
39:35
SPEAKER_01: Like I was literally, I know that God spoke to me about a podcast.
39:39
SPEAKER_01: Like I know he did.
39:40
SPEAKER_01: And it was Revelation 12 11 the blood of the land and the warrior testimony.
39:45
SPEAKER_01: And then he lays you in my lap the next day.
39:48
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, you're like, I want to create a podcast for testify testimonies.
39:52
SPEAKER_00: Literally, literally, literally.
39:55
SPEAKER_01: And here we are.
39:57
SPEAKER_01: Like people like will get set free if they Based on I don't know what they need here, but forgiveness is no joke.
40:03
SPEAKER_01: Like I share like the burden that came off my shoulder from the test and I watched somebody's testimony about forgiveness and I was like, but I also heard the Lord say for you can't.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: And then I read.
40:15
SPEAKER_01: I read.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: Usually I went through the testimony and then I read about it and I was like, oh, that's what that is.
40:22
SPEAKER_01: If you don't forgive, your father in heaven won't forgive you.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: That's why it was he wasn't gonna release me from that addiction until I forgave because he loved me, because he loved her.
40:33
SPEAKER_01: Like she's so work, I'm so excited to see her.
40:36
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh my gosh.
40:38
SPEAKER_01: Like, and I realized that it says honor your mother and father.
40:41
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I called my dad and I was like, Dad, I didn't honor you.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: He was like, I was an alcoholic.
40:45
SPEAKER_01: I was like, but it doesn't say if he's not an alcoholic, it says honor your mother and father.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: But all these things in my life I saw and watched, I'm like, I read Proverbs and I was like, Oh, you're the fool, you're the fool, you're the fool.
41:00
SPEAKER_01: You're just the fool.
41:02
SPEAKER_01: In so many instances.
41:03
SPEAKER_01: But like the world is the opposite of the word.
41:07
SPEAKER_01: You they we I live the opposite of the word.
41:11
SPEAKER_01: So it was a big part of it.
41:16
SPEAKER_01: He revealed to me that I had an encounter with him, and I may have received him as Lord and Savior, maybe as savior, maybe not Lord, when I was 14 through a youth group.
41:28
SPEAKER_01: I was like, Did I have an encounter with you when I was 14?
41:31
SPEAKER_01: I saw this girl's name pop up.
41:33
SPEAKER_01: She was my youth group leader, and then I had this image in my head, and I remember being on my knees, crying my eyes out at a youth group where I got touched by God, not knowing.
41:44
SPEAKER_01: Right after that happened, my dad got into a car accident.
41:49
SPEAKER_01: I remember listening to my what what prompted in my head was the song Michael W.
41:54
SPEAKER_01: Smith, Place in this World.
41:56
SPEAKER_01: And I and they have a remake of it now.
41:59
SPEAKER_01: And this is 24 years later.
42:02
SPEAKER_01: 24, a lot of years later.
42:04
SPEAKER_01: They have a remake of that song.
42:06
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I know this song.
42:08
SPEAKER_01: And then I was like, I have this revelation of like me laying or this memory of me, a vision of me laying in bed, listening to Michael W.
42:16
SPEAKER_01: Smith, and if and about a week later.
42:20
SPEAKER_01: So I received, I believe I received Christ as my Lord and Savior, as my savior.
42:25
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know as Lord.
42:26
SPEAKER_01: There's a difference between savior and Lord.
42:30
SPEAKER_01: I believe there's a difference.
42:33
SPEAKER_01: So she was I call so anyway, so her name is Lori Norman.
42:38
SPEAKER_01: And so I looked her up on Facebook and I called her and I was like, Lori, I need to know if I had an encounter with Jesus when I was 14.
42:45
SPEAKER_01: Because I remember this and I remember that.
42:47
SPEAKER_01: She's like, You're not gonna believe this.
42:49
SPEAKER_01: So she digs in her boxes of youth group stuff, pulls out this thing that I made, I don't remember making.
42:55
SPEAKER_01: It was a cross out of stones.
42:57
SPEAKER_01: She was like, You encountered Jesus when you were 14.
43:01
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh my.
43:02
SPEAKER_01: She's like, and then you get and then your dad got into a car accident and you guys moved away.
43:07
SPEAKER_01: So I had no discipleship, no nothing.
43:10
SPEAKER_01: But throughout the course of my life, there's things that I knew, but I didn't know how I knew.
43:16
SPEAKER_01: Like people are like, How did you know that?
43:17
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I don't know, how do you not know that?
43:19
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
43:20
SPEAKER_01: Like, I believe that I received the Holy Spirit then, but no discipleship, no nothing.
43:26
SPEAKER_01: And then God is like, just pulled me back.
43:30
SPEAKER_01: So good.
43:31
SPEAKER_01: It's so good.
43:33
SPEAKER_01: So like all these things start flooding back about my life and where I was been.
43:36
SPEAKER_01: And she was like, she's like, I she's like, I am pulling out every single box of my youth, and I am praying over every name right now.
43:43
SPEAKER_01: Like I just shared my testimony with her.
43:45
SPEAKER_01: We cried, and it's so good.
43:48
SPEAKER_01: He's so good.
43:49
SPEAKER_00: So now it's coming full circle.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: Really, with you continuing your discipleship and and evangelism through TikTok, where it kind of had all begun for you.
44:03
SPEAKER_00: I am spreading the good word, not only you know, through social media, yeah, but in your personal life too.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm a I'm a walking testimony of you asking, opening up the conversation to Jesus.
44:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
44:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
44:17
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like it's it's just a it is a hard topic to bring out in the public environment.
44:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
44:22
SPEAKER_01: I see, I just believe that like I don't care what people think about me anymore.
44:26
SPEAKER_01: Like I live for an audience of one.
44:28
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
44:29
SPEAKER_01: I don't live for people.
44:30
SPEAKER_01: Like, I lived as a people pleaser my whole life.
44:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm good.
44:34
SPEAKER_01: You can do that.
44:35
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
44:36
SPEAKER_01: Like, I lived as a people pleaser.
44:38
SPEAKER_01: Uh so if I don't so God says go, and I just believe that he'll use every single seed.
44:45
SPEAKER_01: So we're not here to know what he does.
44:47
SPEAKER_01: He look at my youth group leader.
44:49
SPEAKER_01: 27, 24 years later, she finally saw a harvest, but her work wasn't in vain.
44:56
SPEAKER_01: God used it.
44:58
SPEAKER_01: That's you don't know what the seeds are.
45:00
SPEAKER_01: You don't know how God's gonna, but if God does it, and if we so if we are trying to like bring them to salvation, like, no, when God does it, it's different.
45:11
SPEAKER_01: I mean, he is the only one who can do it.
45:13
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
45:14
SPEAKER_01: Like, we can't save them, but we can plant as many seeds.
45:16
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's I really like the poem that you shared, Michelle, and I feel like it was just deeply resonated with me because you can build that ladder using what you have and and what you know.
45:28
SPEAKER_00: But it's it it's it's with his help that will bring you up.
45:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:34
SPEAKER_00: I just yeah, you can't, yeah.
45:36
SPEAKER_00: It takes a job, we can't do it alone.
45:38
SPEAKER_00: And good news that we have the Holy Spirit.
45:41
SPEAKER_00: We don't have to, and that's the good news.
45:43
SPEAKER_00: The good news.
45:44
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like our pastor would be like, this world is dying and going to hell.
45:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:50
SPEAKER_00: And it's like go be Fisher's men.
45:52
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
45:53
SPEAKER_00: And and you you can you can't know what you don't know, and so they're like starting that relationship with just like reading the Bible and getting to know him.
46:00
SPEAKER_01: And the in the life you live, the peace that you live.
46:03
SPEAKER_01: You're walking, you're a walking testimony, grace and mercy, and we can like, yeah.
46:11
SPEAKER_00: I thought you're so advanced to like know that and declare that out into the world.
46:16
SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like for a really long time, like I'm I've been happy and I've always had this happiness about me and this and this joy in my soul.
46:26
SPEAKER_00: And it's only been through you know the completion of the Bible and strengthening my relationship with God and getting to know him where that source is and and giving him all the glory and praise.
46:36
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I have so much fun doing.
46:38
SPEAKER_02: So good.
46:39
SPEAKER_00: And it took me a while to, I feel like I remember a guy asked me at Cheryl's, and he's like, Ashley, like, how how are you so happy?
46:50
SPEAKER_00: That's right, right there.
46:51
SPEAKER_00: That's a segue.
46:52
SPEAKER_00: Well, I just I good news for me, I told him a hemp.
46:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh no.
46:58
SPEAKER_00: It's okay, you're learning.
47:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I learn.
47:00
SPEAKER_00: You're learning moment.
47:02
SPEAKER_00: I uh I felt I went home and like I failed.
47:04
SPEAKER_00: You didn't fail.
47:05
SPEAKER_00: I failed, God.
47:06
SPEAKER_01: If you didn't have an opportunity, if you didn't recognize it, then I would consider it a fail.
47:11
SPEAKER_01: But because your heart is open to wanting to know and what to so okay, so he showed you that was it.
47:16
SPEAKER_01: There was an opportunity.
47:17
SPEAKER_01: That was it, yeah.
47:18
SPEAKER_01: So now I know.
47:19
SPEAKER_01: And it and then if that didn't happen.
47:22
SPEAKER_01: Imagine the world that we live in.
47:24
SPEAKER_01: If we lived in a world where everyone's hemp, he told him hemp.
47:30
SPEAKER_01: It's Jesus.
47:32
SPEAKER_01: But imagine a world, God opened the door, God opens the doors for opportunities.
47:36
SPEAKER_01: God will so there is a gentle, so God opens the door.
47:39
SPEAKER_01: Like pray for an opportunity.
47:40
SPEAKER_01: Like when you okay, this is the burden.
47:42
SPEAKER_01: Burden, opportunity.
47:44
SPEAKER_01: So I pray for Bob every day.
47:47
SPEAKER_01: Bob is I know it's not a person.
47:50
SPEAKER_01: It's burden, which my burden is for the loss, opportunity, so an opportunity to share, and for boldness to do so when it happens.
48:01
SPEAKER_01: Every day I pray for Bob.
48:03
SPEAKER_01: And I work at a restaurant, so that restaurant is my mission field.
48:06
SPEAKER_01: Like you sitting at the, I was like, she better know Jesus.
48:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna find out if she knows Jesus.
48:12
SPEAKER_00: Little J know I was my love letter to Jesus right there in the city.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
48:17
SPEAKER_00: Which is crazy because I also work in service.
48:20
SPEAKER_00: Uh my mom is Cheryl from Cheryl's Club 175.
48:22
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
48:23
SPEAKER_00: And I just have to laugh at his work because here he put me, the bar owner's daughter, into the place where you're not supposed to talk about Jay Z.
48:33
SPEAKER_00: Manners are reasoned.
48:34
SPEAKER_00: You are not.
48:36
SPEAKER_00: Because it's coming from the veil.
48:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:39
SPEAKER_00: And here I am, just a lucky testimony.
48:42
SPEAKER_00: You go from putting people in the trenches to pulling them out.
48:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:46
SPEAKER_00: Cutting cords of like, you know, like let them let me kind of mentality.
48:53
SPEAKER_00: And so I'm getting I'm strengthening my boldness, you know, here as we speak.
48:57
SPEAKER_00: And this has been a strengthening because honestly, up until now, before you, Michelle, it has helped my family here on the podcast.
49:04
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
49:05
SPEAKER_00: You were the first person to help you.
49:09
SPEAKER_00: I mean like a my um blood blood family.
49:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, and and emboldening me to do so.
49:15
SPEAKER_00: And I would not have wanted it to be, and I can't make this up, Michelle.
49:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
49:20
SPEAKER_00: Like if I didn't have my first guest on here just throwing up our hands and praising dear Lord and talking about the testimony, I don't want it.
49:27
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
49:28
SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, so coming full circle now with your children.
49:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
49:32
SPEAKER_01: Are they how is their relationship with God?
49:35
SPEAKER_01: My my son is 10, so I'm just planting seeds of whatever God's gonna do with that.
49:42
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
49:45
SPEAKER_01: My daughter is a little like there's something going on here.
49:49
SPEAKER_01: When the way he brought my daughter home was like miraculous in itself.
49:54
SPEAKER_01: Things in our life before God did not work out.
49:56
SPEAKER_01: Things did not work out.
49:58
SPEAKER_01: I was leading by Michelle, and Michelle's not good at it.
50:00
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
50:01
SPEAKER_01: She just wasn't.
50:03
SPEAKER_01: I just wasn't.
50:04
SPEAKER_01: But I just didn't know that there is a God who could lead what you know, and his ways are he's so good.
50:12
SPEAKER_01: He's a god of order, like he puts things back in proper order, if I'm honest.
50:17
SPEAKER_01: So he's first, right?
50:19
SPEAKER_01: And so he gave me that year.
50:22
SPEAKER_01: So she's seen, she's like, my ex, my ex's my son's father is like, I don't even know who you are.
50:29
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, praise Jesus.
50:31
SPEAKER_01: Isn't that the point?
50:33
SPEAKER_01: I think it's the point.
50:34
SPEAKER_01: It was so good.
50:35
SPEAKER_01: It's like a bet it's like it is the best compliment you can raise.
50:38
SPEAKER_01: I believe that's my in my heart.
50:39
SPEAKER_01: You can believe I'm like, thank you, Lord.
50:42
SPEAKER_01: But it's it's been so my daughter is the way he brought her home is I received paperwork in the mail for hi, boy.
50:53
SPEAKER_00: My wild, my feral, fur child.
50:59
SPEAKER_01: I just got a nose kiss.
51:02
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I've the way my son came home and my daughter are similar.
51:06
SPEAKER_01: I got paperwork in the mail from from the state saying that there was a court date for my son, and then he brought my son home with I got visitation and all this stuff.
51:14
SPEAKER_01: And then my daughter, my daughter, she I got paperwork in the mail saying that there was child support from my ex, and I was like, from my ex-husband.
51:26
SPEAKER_01: I was like, child support?
51:27
SPEAKER_01: I pay child support.
51:28
SPEAKER_01: Why is he getting child support?
51:29
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Lord, I don't know what you're doing, but I trust you because this looks very familiar from the last time, so I don't know what's going on, but I'll wait for you.
51:36
SPEAKER_01: And so this I just did because he showed how faithful he is that I just don't know what he's gonna do next, but I know he knows he's in my tomorrow, he's in your tomorrow, he's outside of time, like he's got it, he's good at it.
51:49
SPEAKER_01: You can't mess this up, can't mess it up.
51:52
SPEAKER_01: Just wait, just wait.
51:53
SPEAKER_01: So three days later, she comes into my room and she's like, Mom, I can't go back there.
51:57
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Okay, here we go.
51:58
SPEAKER_01: Okay, what's we gotta do what we gotta do?
52:01
SPEAKER_01: So DCFS gets involved.
52:03
SPEAKER_01: There's some things going on in her head, there's some things going on.
52:06
SPEAKER_01: I'll just say that to keep things private.
52:08
SPEAKER_01: There's some things going on, and so we drive to Illinois, and I heard very clear, do not go back or do not leave Illinois.
52:16
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, I'll stay in Illinois.
52:18
SPEAKER_01: I don't really know what that means.
52:19
SPEAKER_01: So we had to go to the police station, and I'm at the police station, and it was pretty chaotic in my mind.
52:26
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Lord, this is very much chaotic, and this doesn't feel like peace that you promised, so please, I need to know that you're here.
52:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm talking 30 seconds later, I get a phone call from Crossway Church, the church that we attended.
52:39
SPEAKER_01: I put a prayer request in a month before that for my daughter.
52:44
SPEAKER_01: They call 30 seconds after I asked, and on the other end of the line, that the lady says, How can I pray for Peyton?
52:52
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, What the I start crying, my eyeballs out.
52:57
SPEAKER_01: I go, I run out to my car, and I'm just like, you don't understand the timing.
53:01
SPEAKER_01: No, and God is God, you know.
53:04
SPEAKER_01: So then we we get it all situated.
53:06
SPEAKER_01: We got a hotel room because we couldn't leave Illinois, and sure enough, the police on the were knocking on our door in Wisconsin.
53:14
SPEAKER_01: My husband ex-husband had said that we kidnapped her, and so we were still they're like, you can't leave the state.
53:20
SPEAKER_01: And I said, We didn't leave the state, we're in Illinois.
53:23
SPEAKER_01: So both police officers were here in West Benn and at the at the hotel talking to each other on the phone, and everything was fine.
53:30
SPEAKER_01: Peyton's like, Mom, this stuff does not work out for us.
53:34
SPEAKER_01: But I heard the Holy Spirit say, stay in Illinois.
53:38
SPEAKER_01: I obeyed, and look, she's like, and so she's revealing himself to her in ways that like things did not work out in our life.
53:47
SPEAKER_01: Previously, I would have gone back to Wisconsin, I would have gotten arrested, she would have been gone.
53:51
SPEAKER_01: Like, that's how her life would have been.
53:53
SPEAKER_01: Because that's how it was.
53:54
SPEAKER_01: I was leaving, I was falling.
53:56
SPEAKER_01: I was leading my life.
53:58
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
53:59
SPEAKER_01: But God knows he's in the details of our life.
54:02
SPEAKER_01: He's so good.
54:03
SPEAKER_01: And so, anyways, on the way back home from Illinois, or yeah, we've got everything situated.
54:09
SPEAKER_01: We stayed at an Illinois in the hotel.
54:11
SPEAKER_01: We got it, we got all did all the things that we had to do.
54:14
SPEAKER_01: Long story short, driving back from Illinois, and we're driving on the highway.
54:19
SPEAKER_01: I have a picture of this.
54:20
SPEAKER_01: It's so good.
54:21
SPEAKER_01: I got my daughter, it starts raining, and I'm like, okay, driving.
54:26
SPEAKER_01: It stops raining.
54:28
SPEAKER_01: My daughter's like, Mom, look.
54:30
SPEAKER_01: In the rear view mirror, not in the side mirror.
54:33
SPEAKER_01: She's like, Mom, look at it.
54:35
SPEAKER_01: Not one rainbow, but two.
54:38
unknown: Oh god.
54:39
SPEAKER_01: You're so good.
54:40
SPEAKER_01: You can't make this stuff up.
54:42
SPEAKER_01: It's incredible.
54:44
SPEAKER_01: So it's been a lot of stuff.
54:47
SPEAKER_01: Lots of stuff.
54:49
SPEAKER_00: The awe and wonder.
54:50
SPEAKER_00: The awe and wonder.
54:51
SPEAKER_00: Every day I'm like, what are we doing today, Lord?
54:52
SPEAKER_00: What are we doing today?
54:53
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
54:54
SPEAKER_00: Uh and the you've touched on the use me.
54:57
SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's my prayer.
54:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
54:59
SPEAKER_00: Every day.
55:00
SPEAKER_00: Use me.
55:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:01
SPEAKER_00: Use me.
55:02
SPEAKER_00: Do it again, Lord.
55:03
SPEAKER_00: Do it again.
55:06
SPEAKER_00: Over and over and over.
55:10
SPEAKER_00: And you will live.
55:10
SPEAKER_00: I honestly think that if when you surrender it all to the Lord and accept him as your savior and and and your Lord.
55:18
SPEAKER_00: And your Lord.
55:18
SPEAKER_01: And your Lord.
55:19
SPEAKER_01: I believe, do you believe that there's a difference between savior and Lord?
55:25
SPEAKER_00: I think if you get technical, it's the deepened relationship and not and you're not looking just to be saved.
55:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:32
SPEAKER_00: You're looking to worship in a whole nother level.
55:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:36
SPEAKER_00: And for his divine purpose.
55:38
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I think it's like the ascension.
55:41
SPEAKER_00: Right?
55:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:42
SPEAKER_00: Right?
55:42
SPEAKER_00: It's it's the come up.
55:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:44
SPEAKER_00: And you gotta start somewhere.
55:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:46
SPEAKER_00: And he loves who you know exactly where you can.
55:48
SPEAKER_00: He meets wherever you're at.
55:49
SPEAKER_00: It's incredible.
55:50
SPEAKER_00: Always at every single time.
55:51
SPEAKER_00: And I yeah, just living an awe and wonder of his works.
55:54
SPEAKER_00: Because it just can't make this step up.
55:55
SPEAKER_00: It's so fun.
55:56
SPEAKER_00: It is.
55:57
SPEAKER_00: It is so much fun.
55:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, Lord, what do we do today?
55:59
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
56:00
SPEAKER_00: Literally.
56:01
SPEAKER_00: What are we doing today?
56:03
SPEAKER_01: We gotta go on like a we'll have to go on adventures together with him.
56:06
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
56:07
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
56:07
SPEAKER_01: Like I put like 10 Bibles in my car and I wrote, read Ephesians 1 and 2, and let the Lord reveal who you are in Christ.
56:16
SPEAKER_01: Let him reveal to you who you are in Christ.
56:18
SPEAKER_01: And so I did that.
56:20
SPEAKER_01: And I had 10 Bibles, and he took me on journeys picking people up on the side of the road, homeless people in the middle, like incredible stuff.
56:29
SPEAKER_01: Like I can't even explain.
56:31
SPEAKER_01: So I just maybe we'll I there's this gentleman that that gives Bibles away.
56:36
SPEAKER_01: And they're, oh, look at you, little boy.
56:39
SPEAKER_01: That gives Bibles away.
56:40
SPEAKER_01: Maybe we'll have to just keep some in my car and see what the Lord does of them.
56:46
SPEAKER_00: We don't know where this is going with this podcast and the motivation behind it.
56:52
SPEAKER_00: I feel like, you know, it is his plan.
56:54
SPEAKER_00: It is only his plan, and we just I'm in the back seat.
56:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
56:58
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I talked a lot.
57:00
SPEAKER_00: This is good because we've like kind of hit our time.
57:04
SPEAKER_00: I know you gotta go get your kitties.
57:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
57:06
SPEAKER_00: And I gotta go with my kitties cats too.
57:08
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
57:08
SPEAKER_00: And what the beautiful thing is, is that it's eternal.
57:12
SPEAKER_00: So the work will never get it right.
57:14
SPEAKER_00: We'll never get it done.
57:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
57:15
SPEAKER_00: And this just means that we're gonna have to pick up next time.
57:19
SPEAKER_00: Next time.
57:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
57:20
SPEAKER_00: At least on this sharing channel.
57:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
57:22
SPEAKER_00: Which how great is it, Michelle?
57:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's wonderful.
57:25
SPEAKER_00: Can you share?
57:25
SPEAKER_00: What's your TikTok handle?
57:27
SPEAKER_00: Jesus loves Michelle.
57:28
SPEAKER_01: Jesus?
57:29
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no.
57:30
SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
57:30
SPEAKER_01: Michelle loves Jesus.
57:31
SPEAKER_01: Michelle is it underscore Michelle underscore L-U-V-S underscore Jesus.
57:37
SPEAKER_00: Go and follow Miss Michelle.
57:39
SPEAKER_00: She's amazing.
57:40
SPEAKER_00: I was so inspired and encouraged and just felt like the topics that you touched on, you could tell were coming from a good place.
57:47
SPEAKER_00: You know, it wasn't just it's it's not about the likes or the shows.
57:51
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, no.
57:52
SPEAKER_00: Anything like that.
57:53
SPEAKER_00: I could I could feel that.
57:54
SPEAKER_00: I could feel the genuine, the genuine, authentic voice.
57:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I definitely that's rare.
58:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
58:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, really?
58:01
SPEAKER_00: That's rare.
58:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh Lord.
58:02
SPEAKER_00: Or abundant.
58:05
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be abundant.
58:06
SPEAKER_00: That's what we're speaking.
58:07
SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm speaking in existence.
58:09
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna see to it that it is that way because that's just sharing our gifts.
58:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know.
58:13
SPEAKER_00: That's what it's all about.
58:14
SPEAKER_01: So making the next time I'm just gonna throw this out there.
58:17
SPEAKER_01: Let's hear your testimony.
58:18
SPEAKER_00: Ayo.
58:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
58:20
SPEAKER_00: I would love to share it.
58:21
SPEAKER_00: I've been sharing it all the way through.
58:24
SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
58:25
SPEAKER_00: All right.
58:25
SPEAKER_00: Love it.
58:26
SPEAKER_00: Love it, need it, gotta have it.
58:28
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for coming on and being vulnerable and confident and bold.
58:32
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
58:33
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
58:33
SPEAKER_00: Seizing this opportunity.
58:35
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
58:36
SPEAKER_00: Because, like I said, coming into coming in here, you didn't know what to expect.
58:40
SPEAKER_00: No, I didn't.
58:41
SPEAKER_00: You're honestly you the the you demonstrated it.
58:44
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that's you are a walking-talking testimony and an angel witness as we all are God's children.
58:50
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
58:50
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I see when I look into your eyes.
58:52
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
58:52
SPEAKER_01: Okay, can we pray this out?
58:53
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
58:54
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
58:54
SPEAKER_01: Lord Jesus, I thank you for today.
58:57
SPEAKER_01: I thank you for life.
58:58
SPEAKER_01: I thank you for Ashley's life.
59:00
SPEAKER_01: I thank you for our boldness to just continue on the path that you have for her, Lord.
59:04
SPEAKER_01: I just pray that we would hear your voice clearly, that we would stay in stuff with the Spirit, and that you just continue to reveal your path and your purpose and your plans for our life.
59:12
SPEAKER_01: We thank you for who you are.
59:14
SPEAKER_01: Not for what you do, but just for who you are.
59:16
SPEAKER_01: In Jesus' name I pray.
59:18
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
59:18
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
59:20
SPEAKER_01: Much love, sister.
59:22
SPEAKER_01: You as well.
59:23
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
59:24
SPEAKER_01: Love it.
59:24
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
59:25
SPEAKER_01: Love it.