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Why Faith, Family & Purpose Matter More Than Achievement · More Than Before

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  Honestly, once we came to faith, I started to understand what God
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  says about aspiration, like his ways are higher than mine.
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  I still wrestle with that dude. It's one of those things where I
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  have to get out of the way of what I think I want and what
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  what he knows I need at any given time, and that's hard.
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  Hey everyone, my guest today has chased a few different dreams in
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  his life. He grew up in a small town
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  Michigan, moved to Manhattan Beach to pursue music, sleep on
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  floors, he sold Yellow Pages in 100° heat, and yes, he has lived
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  the full LA experience. Today he is a husband, a father,
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  a performance coach and the founder of Byes Family Fitness,
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  Building strength, Family and Community with faith at the
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  center. Joe Byes, welcome to More Than
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  Before. Appreciate you having me man.
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  So take us back to where you grew up, Iona.
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  Not Sharona, no. Ionia.
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  Ionia, Ionia. Yeah, that I, that I in there
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  gets it's lost. Small town man.
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  Grew up in a small town pretty much till I was, I mean, I went
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  to college outside of that a little, but 23 years I was in
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  Michigan. Yeah, small 12,000 population.
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  And then we have like 7 prisons. So we don't know if you, you're
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  counting the prisoners too. So it could have been smaller.
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  Like didn't get a Burger King till I was seven, that type of
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  stuff, right. I'm kind of old though, so maybe
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  that's not shocking, you know? I'm 41.
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  You don't look old by any means. Well, all.
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  Right. I mean, you kind of look like
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  the poster boy for for like a Hallmark movie.
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  Oh, like, OK. You can't.
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  You kind of got that vibe of like you're the you're the small
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  town guy that the girl comes back from the really nice.
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  I'm not the guy that like the guy that.
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  You're the guy she falls for. Got it.
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  Not the guy that you already know at the beginning, like, oh,
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  this is the guy. That this is the guy.
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  That. He's some like corporate
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  executive that's always on his phone and she can't, you know?
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  No, you're, you're the guy where like she comes home and she's
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  like, wow, like you look really good.
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  Like what happened, you know? Who's going to appreciate this
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  conversation more than anybody's?
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  My mom. Yeah.
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  Because Hallmark life, yeah. Hallmark life.
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  So you were the youngest of three, youngest of three.
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  What was life like being the youngest?
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  Because I'm the youngest of four and.
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  Bro yeah with vibe. It's an interesting life to be
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  the youngest. Because you have brothers and
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  sisters both. Two older sisters and an older
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  brother. OK, I had two older sisters so
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  my oldest sister's like 8 1/2 years older than me.
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  My middle sister's about 6:00. So honestly, my oldest sister
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  though, she was kind of in at college and through a lot of
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  years that I remember being that much older than me.
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  And then my middle sister and I, you know, I essentially I was
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  Superman and she had to be the bad guy, right?
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  So these fists always kind of flew into my middle sister.
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  So we, it was good though, man, My mom, you know, she, she held
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  it down at home, had good family support out there.
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  Who are some of your early on mentors in life that kind of saw
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  something in you and invested in you?
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  Because I I know that there was some stuff that happened with
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  your father early on in life, but you also had some some
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  people that came in to really help you, to grow you into a
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  man. Really.
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  Yeah. Definitely.
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  Who were some of those mentors early on?
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  Yeah, so a lot, I definitely look at a lot of my coaches that
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  I had for sure. I mean sports, that's what I
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  growing up, you know, playing basketball, football, baseball,
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  a lot of coaches stepped in and then a lot of my friends parents
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  stepped in, right, and my uncle. But I think the crazy thing was
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  so context. So my dad and mom split up when
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  I was 8 and then my dad moved to Florida.
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  So I, I saw him, I mean, I talked to him pretty regularly
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  even then. I saw him maybe a couple times a
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  year. But it was really my, my, my
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  uncle and my coaches, right? And my friend's parents that had
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  stepped in and even even like some of my sister's friends at
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  that time, right? Being that much older.
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  And I, I can, I vividly remember this and this guy, Mitch Gorham,
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  who I think was probably my middle sister's age.
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  I'm in 8th grade. I'm hanging with the wrong
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  crowd. I'm doing the wrong stuff.
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  And I'm at a bowling alley with some friends.
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  And this dude just pulls up on me and just starts lacing into
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  me. Like, what are you doing with
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  your life? And it was one of those that it
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  was one of those moments, you know, you look back at, at
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  moments where something changed, like a pepping point pivot,
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  right? And I remember going outside of
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  that bowling alley, like in tears at 14, being like, man, I
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  got to change. And that was that was probably
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  my earliest memory of making a different decision that
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  completely changed the trajectory of my life.
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  And I think that's one of those things that we remember.
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  We're all dealt what we're dealt, you know, we, we don't
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  necessarily control that, but I think it's a reminder to me,
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  even now running a business or starting a podcast, there's just
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  going to be times where we just got to push through, be
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  uncomfortable, learn something new and how the, the plasticity
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  of the brain to learn these things.
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  You know, so a lot of lot of people stepped up.
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  I had AI had such a group of people around me.
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  Even back then though, you look, I look at God's grace over my
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  life because one different decision and I'm, you know,
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  there's people I remember from 5th grade who were doing things
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  they shouldn't have been doing and I know now are in prison.
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  I'm literally one decision away from that.
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  And, and yeah, I worked hard and I'm we got a whatever, but I,
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  I'm well aware that there was too many things outside of my
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  control that I could have been in charge of that, right?
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  Yeah, It's weird. It's a weird, weird thing.
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  Kind of reminds me of that theologian who said that you
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  should always have at least three guys who can put you in
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  prison at a time. But.
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  But I, I love what you're saying about this because I think we,
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  if you've been in the personal growth industry for a while or
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  you've read books and development stuff, we, we hear
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  about like the rule of five of the, you're the average of the
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  five people you spend the most time with.
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  And we, we kind of go like, yeah, yeah, like it's not really
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  that important. You know, even even the Bible
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  talks about that. It's true.
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  Like the people that you surround yourself with is so
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  important. How did how did your early on
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  surroundings, how did that kind of push you in a different
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  direction where you feel like maybe you shouldn't have been
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  going? I think there was.
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  I just knew it was wrong. I had enough people around me
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  that were doing things that were, I guess by definition,
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  like what you should be doing. That even though I didn't have a
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  man in my house, I still had enough men around me to be
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  convicted in that way. But at the same time, I was also
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  being raised by the world and culture.
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  I was kind of a latchkey kid at that point, right?
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  So I had, it was a small enough town to where I'm surprised I
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  got away with anything ever. I mean, it's tiny, dude.
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  My uncle was the mayor, right? Yeah, big shoes to fill.
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  Dude, So when I look at it from that perspective, I had a lot of
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  people around me, but I also, I started to see how destructive
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  looking back the the world is because it was, man, it was
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  secular, hip hop, entertainers, sports.
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  That was what was essentially driving my character in a lot of
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  ways, even though I knew it was wrong.
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  Yeah. So that that that that group
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  around me was instrumental, man. I mean, I had coaches.
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  I'd have coaches pull me in like, hey, I just heard this.
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  I mean, this is wild to when I was in 8th grade doing
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  everything you shouldn't be doing.
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  I got caught smoking cigarettes in 8th grade right by who ended
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  up being my JV basketball coach right.
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  So it's it's those moments of why was me at 14?
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  Why didn't I just keep going that way right.
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  What happens if that dude doesn't check me at the bowling
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  alley? And then my my freshman coach my
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  freshman year. I like, I just text with him
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  yesterday and he was he was a Christian and I knew that, but I
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  wasn't trying to hear all that. Yeah.
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  And he just man, he just stayed with me.
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  He was never like, but I just knew when I didn't know, I knew
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  I wanted to go to him for something, right.
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  So it's, it's just those those subtle things that maybe we're
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  just subconsciously not even thinking through this stuff, but
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  these examples that are around us.
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  And those are the things that I know you and I would both say as
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  as fathers for sure, but just as people, yeah.
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  Like when I'm vibing with your kids in there, like what an
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  adult is to a kid. I mean, I remember looking at
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  adults like, man, this dude is this dude is cool, man.
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  You know, like, so, so I, I, I, I like, we do a lot of work with
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  kids, with our, with our classes and, you know, we met through a
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  lot of sporting things and stuff like that.
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  And man, I don't want to put sport on the pedestal because
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  because for me it was it was idolatry coming up like I had to
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  step away from. Sports and hip hop, right those
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  that they were kind of both dude, like hip hop.
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  I mean go hard like. You did some digging.
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  You did some digging? Yeah, man.
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  I mean, I mean, you were that that was kind of the dream
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  though, wasn't it? That it was at one point you
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  really shifted and wanted to go full hip hop.
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  For sure, dude. Yeah, after, after once I once I
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  got to a place where it was like, I think basketball from a
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  organizational perspective, right?
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  I, I played a year at an NAI school and then I transferred to
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  a bigger school and I tried out there and I, it's it's so crazy,
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  dude. I tore my ACL.
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  Like I had continual like my left knee.
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  It was like, God was like stop, stop, stop, stop.
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  I just kept getting hurt. Yeah, man, I just, I'd always
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  had an affinity for music, but I, I fell in love with music and
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  I started to just get around some guys and make music and
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  went out to LA for that. So it was, it was just new
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  things were continually taking the place of where God should
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  be. And it was like I had to step
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  away from those things in order to re establish a relationship
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  with them. Yeah.
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  There was a period where I couldn't even watch sports
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  anymore because I, I, I saw, it's almost like the Lord took
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  it and then he gave it back. And now I train athletes.
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  We, you know, I watch sports as a family.
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  And you, you know, we got to be careful.
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  There's there's things that we got to like, you know, mute and
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  make sure that we can't see the commercials and stuff, right?
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  But it's, it's wild to look back on that.
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  And it's just remembering, right, Like the Israelites in
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  the wilderness. My wife and I always have to.
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  Anytime we get to like a tough spot, it's like, OK, did he
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  bring us here to leave us here or did he bring us here?
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  Like did he bring us here to open a gym and then have it
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  fall? Like let's just be diligent and
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  see what he has and know that whatever he has is better than
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  what I think I have. Yeah, that's huge.
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  So when you were growing up, what was, what was faith like?
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  Like what was what was church like?
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  Did you guys go to church? Like what was what was your
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  faith walk like when you were a kid?
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  So we grew up in a Catholic school, Catholic Church, right?
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  And I think my mom's still a pretty solid part of that.
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  But I never, I never read the Bible.
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  I didn't, I wouldn't say that I I didn't really understand the,
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  I guess severity or the the importance.
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  I mean to put it lightly, yeah. Of true repentance and receiving
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  in faith in Christ. I don't think I really started
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  to understand that until and maybe 2014 to 2016 when my
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  freshman mentor kind of started talking to me.
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  And then we had other people in our lives that would, you know,
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  talk about it. But it really wasn't until 2020
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  when I just felt like the Lord was just convicting me and I do.
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  I could not devour enough scripture.
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  I it I literally saw everything I had hope in deteriorate.
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  That was when I felt like the Lord like grabbed me and he was
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  like this, you know, because it kept just being the next thing.
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  I'm going to put hope in me, right.
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  I want the world to love Joe. And then it was like, OK, well,
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  I'm looking at what's going on back then and I'm like, this
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  isn't sitting right with me. Yeah.
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  And so then it's like, OK, so I I always I always had like there
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  was always. I remember praying as a kid, but
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  I didn't. I didn't.
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  I didn't understand. Right, gravity of it.
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  Yeah. And I didn't really know.
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  So there was always like maybe a faith element coming up, but it
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  wasn't, I would say for the most part though, it was just sort of
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  a like a secular childhood, you know.
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  And it was, it was good though. Like it was, it was, it was
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  quality people around me, but it wasn't, it wasn't based in
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  Scripture. So biblically it wasn't good,
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  but for our conversation I had, I had good people around me.
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  Yeah, right. So.
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  When did, when did you make the first major shift from identity
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  of sports to the next thing? Because you know, I, I find
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  that, you know, when we're younger, we're, we're finding
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  our identity and kind of talent, You know, what are we talented?
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  What are we good at? Which is really dangerous
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  because if if you put your identity in a talent and you're
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  not performing, then you have no identity.
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  Or if someone else comes along and is better than you, which
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  nine times out of 10, there's always someone better than you.
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  You don't feel like man, well, why did God give me these gifts?
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  You were playing basketball. You're playing, I mean, you are
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  a multi sport athlete and you were good.
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  You weren't like, you weren't like, OK, you were actually a
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  good athlete, right? I mean, it depends on who you're
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  comparing me to to. You, you are a really good
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  athlete. So when I we have right now, I
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  look back and I was like, yeah, so when I was so it's crazy.
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  So here's the trajectory is when I'm So now my wife, great
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  athlete, yeah, she's a Division One softball player.
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  Invitation to the Arnold. Yeah, the Olympia, right?
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  I missed your Olympia. Totally.
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  So it's like when all ACC shortstop for Florida State.
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  So she won't tell you this, but I'm, I'm, I got the mic right
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  now, so I'll make sure you know. I mean, she can lift more than I
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  can lift. Like her record is like 414 lbs
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  dead lift or something. Yeah, she's like, she's insane.
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  People say, like Joe, why you stay so consistent in the gym?
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  It's like because my wife is going to keep up to her.
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  I can't do this right. Client's going to come in and
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  I've been trying to look so she's like, oh, here, let me
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  help. You can she let me help you with
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  that joke. So when I look at growing up,
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  it's, there's always those stages, right?
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  Oh man, I'm really good. And then you get outside the
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  neighborhood and it's like, yo, I'm not that good, right?
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  So in 8th grade, that was when that turning point happened.
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  And one of the best things that happened for me.
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  So I'm a freshman, OK, I'm in a, I'm in a Catholic school.
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  My 8th grade class has 13 people.
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  Four of us in 8th grade are on the basketball team.
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  Fast forward to our senior year, those four of us are starting on
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  the varsity basketball team and we make it to the quarterfinals
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  and then I go ride the pine at an AI school.
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  Another one of us plays football for like D3 school and then
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  another one of us goes and plays football for Purdue, which is,
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  you know, we weren't transferring schools back then,
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  right? Yeah.
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  So we like we had a man, we had good coaches, dude.
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  I had, I'm so thankful for the coaches I had that like knew the
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  game. Like when people talk about they
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  got bad coaches, Like I don't think I had a bad coach, right.
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  And so in, in 7th, 8th grade, I'm, I'm OK, maybe 3rd, 4th best
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  on the team. I go back and watch videos and
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  I'm just kind of bouncing around like you can kind of tell
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  there's maybe some potential there.
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  But then my freshman year after the whole thing with that dude
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  at the bowling alley, then I go and there's four of us from that
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  school, right? Someone's going to varsity.
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  OK, dude that went to Purdue, someone else is going to someone
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  else is going to JV. OK.
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  And I'm thinking it's me because dude, I've been busting my tail.
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  I'm ready. I don't I stay on freshman with
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  the other, this other dude that I went to school with.
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  And it was the best thing that happened to me because I was
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  forced into a leadership role. And then I'm then I worked under
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  the coach who I'm still cool with, who was a Christian.
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  And that was the beginning of me understanding.
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  Dude, I'm just now working hard and I just, I just put time in
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  and I, I became a pretty good athlete, like a little above
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  average athlete. Like I'm, I'm 61, I'm, I'm kind
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  of strong, but like, I'm not, I don't have huge hands, you know?
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  Yeah, I just, I wasn't, I wasn't going to be like an elite level
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  athlete, but it was it was that that I got better.
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  And then from there to, to your question, the, the transition to
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  music had kind of already started in high school, but I
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  didn't understand how to make it happen.
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  I didn't understand how to record songs.
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  I didn't know. I just thought people who made
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  it to music were just a different type of people from a
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  different place. Yeah, right.
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  Cuz back then, I mean, shoot, dude, it was 2003.
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  Like we didn't have, I mean, I remember trying to download like
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  Lebron's highlights somehow, right?
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  Because we didn't have YouTube and all that, you know?
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  Yeah. So yeah.
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  Yeah, it's, it's so interesting to think back in that time
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  because we weren't so connected. We didn't have the World Wide
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  Web at, you know, our disposal like we do now, where it's easy
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  to go and look up competition from other places, what other
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  people doing, how people are successful doing this, doing it
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  this way or that way. There was there was actually a
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  book, a quote book that you actually there was a quote in
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  it, the the change your life quote book.
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  Did I? Dream the impossible dream.
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  You. You went you.
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  Went Oh yeah, true. Why I found I found that, yeah,
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  dream, the impossible dream that was, that was something that
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  like that was a huge mantra for you for.
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  A while that was, yeah. Dream, dream impossible.
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  Yeah. That's that's that's inked on my
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  skin, bro. It's true.
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  So when did, when did you shift from believing the in the
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  impossible dream to accepting the dream that God gave you?
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  Because like, like you said, you know, God, God took away a lot
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  of things, almost everything. And then he's slowly giving you
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  things back when, when you've been ready for it.
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  What has what was the original dream that you really, I know
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  you that you went after a bunch of different things, but what
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  was like the original big epitome dream that you wanted to
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  go towards and. What was the dream that God
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  eventually set on your heart to say, hey, this is where I really
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  want you to be, This is who I want you to be?
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  I just want to be the man, bro. That was, I mean, literally like
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  there was a good heart behind it, I think in terms of trying
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  want to help people, but it was always conditional, whether I
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  was going to admit it or not. But like I moved to LA to make
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  it. I've I've I've played
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  basketball. I think a lot of it was once I
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  realized, wow, hard work equals this.
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  And I and it's, it's crazy because that's what that's what
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  I feel like the Lord allowed me to go through because I didn't,
• 20:44
  I didn't come to faith until my mid to late 30s.
• 20:49
  So he let me live in that world as long as I did and it created
• 20:53
  all these things in me. I think the biggest thing that I
• 20:57
  can see now, there's so much, there's so much more peace when
• 21:02
  I'm working heartily unto him. Colossians 323 and I was and on
• 21:06
  this month I'm going through Philippians.
• 21:08
  So Philippians 4 through 9. The, the piece that surpasses
• 21:12
  understanding. And it's hard because I, I come
• 21:15
  out of these pockets sometimes because I think I, I, I start
• 21:18
  kind of taking the horse blinders off and I think, oh, we
• 21:21
  got to do this now. We got to build here if we're
• 21:23
  going to get this. And it's not like it's
• 21:25
  negligent, but it feels negligent.
• 21:27
  And it's not just like, well, I'm just going to sit back and
• 21:29
  do that and whatever, and it's all good and God will provide.
• 21:31
  And no, that's not it either, right?
• 21:33
  Yeah. But I would say that the, the
• 21:35
  dream to make it started to change probably sometime around
• 21:41
  2021 when we started the business.
• 21:44
  And honestly, once we came to faith, I started to understand
• 21:49
  what God says about aspiration, right?
• 21:54
  Like his ways are higher than mine.
• 21:57
  And I still wrestle with that dude, you know, I still do.
• 22:00
  And it's it's one of those things where I have to get out
• 22:04
  of the way of what I think I want and what what he knows I
• 22:08
  need at any given time. And that's hard.
• 22:11
  I. Love that you say that because
• 22:12
  it's true, because we we have the things that we desire.
• 22:15
  We have the things that we really want.
• 22:17
  And it's interesting. I'm reading a biography right
• 22:20
  now on Jackie Robinson, which is just fascinating.
• 22:23
  And there's so many things I didn't know about his story
• 22:26
  early on, all the things that he kind of went through and just
• 22:30
  the quality of person that he was.
• 22:32
  Multi sport athlete, he served in the military and he he
• 22:38
  continually was great at everything that he did, but yet
• 22:42
  he was always held back by the color of his skin.
• 22:45
  And so it's, it's interesting because there's a point in this
• 22:47
  biography where it says that he, he attributes those times of God
• 22:52
  preparing him for the moment where he would step onto a
• 22:56
  national stage of creating an opportunity for all people, all
• 23:02
  black people, to start playing professional baseball and other
• 23:05
  sports too. But God had to prepare his heart
• 23:08
  through the challenges early on. I'm curious for you, as you look
• 23:12
  back in life and the challenges that you go through now and
• 23:15
  maybe even recently, what are some of the things that you went
• 23:19
  through early on in life that were really the Crucible moment?
• 23:22
  They're the refining moment of your heart so that you could go
• 23:25
  through what you're going through right now to help
• 23:27
  others, to lead others to, to really even be just a solid
• 23:31
  pillar in the community. Man, I, one of the things I
• 23:35
  think back immediately is in elementary school, I was just
• 23:39
  kind of an easy target to be picked on.
• 23:42
  And I remember 5th grade was just rough, right?
• 23:44
  Well, and I even look at like, OK, my dad leaving, whatever.
• 23:47
  I have such a heart now for youth and even my own kids.
• 23:52
  I know I'm messing up, but I, I'm, I'm hopeful that I can like
• 23:57
  invoke conversation, but I'm also seeing the value of what a
• 24:03
  strong mentor can be in people's lives.
• 24:06
  And, and I don't, I don't mean that from like a hubris
• 24:09
  perspective, like Joe Bise is here.
• 24:10
  You're all welcome, you know. You're great mentor.
• 24:13
  Hey, come on, you guys. But it's really understanding
• 24:17
  the heart of what we do, especially like at the gym.
• 24:21
  And there is so much joy when I'm walking through the four
• 24:27
  year at church and all of a sudden out of nowhere, some kid
• 24:29
  runs up and goes Coach Joe, I've been eating this and you know,
• 24:33
  and like some kid that I had at some random class, you know,
• 24:37
  whether it be a Co-op or whatever.
• 24:40
  And I think that that experience with me from childhood, I, I see
• 24:46
  that with these kids, But I, I start now at this point in my
• 24:49
  life, I'm feeling it from their parents that they're
• 24:52
  appreciative, God's grace to put me in this position to where a
• 24:57
  parent wants to try to make sure their kid is around me and they
• 25:02
  see godly character. And it's those moments, though,
• 25:08
  as a young kid, dude in a lot of this, I didn't think about this
• 25:14
  till maybe, I mean, I thought about it, but I'm really
• 25:16
  thinking about it right now. It was hard, right?
• 25:20
  It was hard, man. And I, I, I remember in 2019,
• 25:24
  I'm sitting out here, I'm sitting down with a therapist
• 25:26
  and this dude go so tell me much relationship with your dad.
• 25:30
  And I was like, Oh yeah, you know, it's cool.
• 25:32
  I growing up like, how was it? Like I saw him, you know, every
• 25:35
  couple times a year I saw him. I saw him a good amount.
• 25:37
  And this dude just like looked at me good amount.
• 25:40
  And I was like, and he's like, you know, that's not a lot,
• 25:43
  right? And it was the first time in my
• 25:46
  life. I'm 35 years old that I realize
• 25:52
  that's maybe not the most healthy thing for a young child,
• 25:57
  young boy especially. Right?
• 25:59
  And it's those moments though, that dude, I am so thankful to
• 26:05
  the Lord that there's no resent though.
• 26:09
  It just is what it is. And like my dad had what he was
• 26:14
  going through, my mom, whatever, people just go through it.
• 26:18
  And I'm doing things right now that I'm hoping I'm I'm
• 26:21
  minimizing impact, but I'm messing my kids up somewhere and
• 26:24
  they're going to have to talk to somebody about this, you know,
• 26:26
  So I'm just trying to I look back at those moments, though,
• 26:30
  in the prepping, right? You think about Joseph in prison
• 26:34
  as long as he was man. But does he, is he able to
• 26:38
  deliver his people to so, so that the promised seed can.
• 26:43
  Yeah. You know, like those moments
• 26:45
  where you look back at those Bible stories and you're like,
• 26:47
  man, and then knowing something else is coming.
• 26:50
  So I better stay in that word so that when it comes, it's like
• 26:54
  times of peace and times of war, right.
• 26:56
  King ASA or Solomon and David, when when it's wartime, you
• 27:01
  better have had what you were building ready because it's not
• 27:04
  time to build when it's wartime. So life's good.
• 27:07
  Things are chill. You better devour that word,
• 27:10
  buddy, because it's coming, right?
• 27:12
  Preparation, preparation so important in every aspect of
• 27:16
  life. And yeah, it's interesting
• 27:18
  because we all think about preparation in the way of
• 27:20
  preparing for like a disaster that happens.
• 27:23
  We we, you know, put money aside for, you know, the water heater
• 27:26
  that breaks or the car that breaks down or, you know, the
• 27:30
  preparation of war. But I think a lot of people
• 27:34
  don't actually look at life in terms of like preparation for
• 27:38
  the spiritual battles that we have because truly putting on
• 27:42
  the armor of God, the full word of God to, you know, cleanse our
• 27:46
  heart to prepare us for what's coming ahead.
• 27:49
  And I think a lot of us don't really conceptualize it in a, in
• 27:53
  a way that we think, man, this is something I should really do.
• 27:55
  This is going to prepare me for my day, right?
• 27:58
  Like if you as a, as a fellow athlete from years ago, I knew
• 28:03
  that for myself, if I didn't eat a specific thing before
• 28:07
  competition, I wouldn't do well or my stomach would be upset and
• 28:10
  I'd have issues with performance.
• 28:13
  And, and so I knew what I needed to do, preparing going into
• 28:18
  that. People do that all the time for
• 28:20
  their day. Well, you know, I've got a
• 28:22
  presentation today, so I've got to make sure I get enough rest.
• 28:25
  I'm not going to watch the the YouTube or I'm not going to
• 28:28
  watch the Netflix. The Netflix.
• 28:30
  I sound so old. When you are on the Myspace.
• 28:36
  It's on my space. Everybody under 20, if they're
• 28:38
  listening to this, is like, no. What's Myspace?
• 28:41
  Friendster. Oh bro, you know what you made
• 28:45
  me think of though, dude? And look, and this here's The
• 28:47
  thing is, you know what's easy to do is for me to get up in
• 28:52
  front of a team and just start screaming and motivate them,
• 28:57
  right? Yeah.
• 28:58
  You know, what's hard to do is 6 months before planting seeds and
• 29:02
  prepping, right? Like you don't show up to battle
• 29:07
  for the first time. Yeah.
• 29:09
  I mean, even like the Bible talks about preparation and sort
• 29:13
  of the spirit and the the war pictures of fam I and and I
• 29:21
  think there's a place for it. But you know, we this whole like
• 29:26
  the the movie football thing is like, you know, there is a
• 29:29
  preparation that has to take place.
• 29:32
  Yeah. And to your point, from a
• 29:34
  spiritual perspective, I'm thankful that we are a part of a
• 29:37
  church that prioritizes that. Yeah, right.
• 29:40
  That. I mean, you talk about the fire
• 29:43
  hose that we are able to drink from.
• 29:46
  Yeah, being a part of Athey Creek.
• 29:48
  I mean, how much scripture have we talked about?
• 29:50
  And we're just talking about life right now.
• 29:52
  So you've got church on Saturday.
• 29:53
  We got an opportunity for Bible study on Wednesday night.
• 29:56
  You've got our local Bible studies on Friday.
• 29:59
  Sunday night worship. And Sunday night worship and
• 30:01
  then. The updates.
• 30:03
  Dude, and, and you're constantly being reminded, Hey, don't you
• 30:07
  better like this is not a hey, if you get to it, get in the
• 30:10
  word, I better get in that thing, right.
• 30:14
  Yeah. And and look, there's there's
• 30:16
  seasons, man, where it's like, oh, shoot, it's kind of busy
• 30:19
  right now. And I'm not, but like for the
• 30:21
  most part, this has to be an everyday occurrence because we
• 30:25
  are at war. And I just remember a friend of
• 30:29
  mine, he texted me once and he just goes, Satan hates you, bro.
• 30:33
  And I was like, what? And he's like, dude, your family
• 30:38
  like what you're doing. And people constantly remind us
• 30:41
  like, you think that what you're doing, the enemy who's trying to
• 30:45
  seek, kill and destroy, you think they're cool with that?
• 30:49
  Yeah, you trying to, you know, put Christ up for your business
• 30:53
  and all this stuff. It's coming.
• 30:55
  Opposition's coming, man. And it's just remembering we got
• 30:58
  to be ready because if I don't, if I don't have this stuff
• 31:01
  locked in here is a wrap, right? Yeah, well, I was just talking
• 31:05
  with a group of guys this last week and one of the things that
• 31:07
  came up. But did the demons know when you
• 31:10
  wake up in the morning, do they go, oh, shoot, Joe Baez is up
• 31:13
  again. OK, let's get let's, let's,
• 31:16
  let's get armored up. Let's go.
• 31:17
  He's he's up. We got to get going.
• 31:19
  I like that. Like it's, it's because you
• 31:22
  know, as, as believers, we think about our lives and going, oh,
• 31:24
  well, everything's going to be good.
• 31:26
  Everything's going to be easy. Well, if, if you're truly being
• 31:30
  immersed in the word of God, if you're truly wanting to live
• 31:33
  your life for God, there is going to be attack after attack
• 31:36
  after attack. And the enemy only goes after
• 31:38
  the things that he knows at your weekend.
• 31:40
  So you know that argument that you had your wife with your wife
• 31:43
  earlier this morning or last night or the thing that you said
• 31:45
  to your son the other day or your daughter and you're going,
• 31:48
  oh, man, like messed up again. Well, those are those are the
• 31:51
  small little areas in life where the enemy is just going to
• 31:54
  attack. And that's not to say that
• 31:56
  there's not improvement in areas that we can't make, but there is
• 32:00
  a surrendering and understanding, like we were
• 32:03
  talking earlier before we kind of started recording of a friend
• 32:06
  of mine that comes over early in the mornings on Saturdays.
• 32:09
  And one of the things that we've talked about is it's like, man,
• 32:13
  I just feel like I'm failing as a father.
• 32:14
  I feel like I'm not a good example.
• 32:17
  I'm yelling, I'm doing all these different things.
• 32:19
  And I'm like, hey, man, like I just, I want you to understand
• 32:22
  you're not Jesus. You're not, you're not called to
• 32:25
  be Jesus. You're supposed to be like him.
• 32:28
  You can't be him if you if you were.
• 32:30
  We wouldn't need him, right? Exactly.
• 32:32
  What's the expectation? Yeah.
• 32:33
  What are you expecting of yourself?
• 32:36
  Yeah. You know, and I, those are
• 32:37
  things that I think are important conversations, though,
• 32:40
  because, you know, in the Bible says to hold, take every thought
• 32:44
  captive. And these are the conversations
• 32:47
  we have to have with our kids right now.
• 32:49
  Yeah. About how you feel, right?
• 32:52
  Yeah. Because I'll tell, I'll.
• 32:54
  I'll tell my son something happens.
• 32:57
  And yeah, he feels bad. I'm like, cool, man.
• 32:58
  Let's break it down. Let's break it down because you
• 33:01
  know what? Sometimes Dad there, dude,
• 33:03
  there's times when I get up or it's the middle of the day and I
• 33:06
  got clients coming in and I'm just like, Nope, like, yeah,
• 33:10
  dude, I ain't got it right. But that is one of those
• 33:16
  situations where I have to look and say, all right, dude, this
• 33:19
  is how you feel right now. What's really going on?
• 33:21
  Yeah, you know, because all of a sudden, like maybe I'm not
• 33:24
  getting a lot of action with, with new sign ups or but we got
• 33:29
  let's let's go. Let's let's look at this though,
• 33:31
  Let's actually look at this and lay this out because if you feel
• 33:37
  right, like one of my, my wife's things is she'll always be like,
• 33:41
  man, I don't know why I'm so tired.
• 33:42
  And I'm like, let me lay it out for you real quick.
• 33:45
  OK, We home school, you know, we do this, we're running a
• 33:49
  business. We like, let's lay it out.
• 33:51
  You know, So what, what's our expectation?
• 33:54
  Because there's a level of, yeah, I, I, I'm, I'm expecting
• 33:59
  this, but let's see why. Like, what are the right?
• 34:03
  And then it'd be, that's where I think it gets tricky with goals.
• 34:07
  Like I talked to people about goals, right?
• 34:09
  Yeah, if I have a goal, you know, I want to do and you lay
• 34:13
  it out and it's like, well, OK, that's an output goal.
• 34:16
  But like, what are the input goals that we can then just like
• 34:20
  let the chips? Fall where they fall.
• 34:22
  Right. So, OK, I want I want to lose 50
• 34:24
  lbs in a week. It's like, OK, well, it's going
• 34:26
  to be dangerous. We could do this, we might be
• 34:30
  able to do this, but this this isn't going to be good.
• 34:32
  So instead of hey, what are things we can do?
• 34:34
  All right, let's lay out like, what's your day look like?
• 34:36
  Let's give it a hard look and let's look at these input goals.
• 34:39
  It's no different than if I got an athlete that say I want to
• 34:41
  get faster, I want to get stronger.
• 34:43
  You can't rah rah that. And you know, we got to say, OK,
• 34:46
  cool, this is probably what we need to do.
• 34:48
  And then let's just let the chips fall where they fall and
• 34:51
  we'll see where we're at. And even if we don't get to
• 34:52
  maybe what the arbitrary goal was we put, we're probably going
• 34:55
  to be closer than if had we not right.
• 34:57
  Yeah, yeah. And there's, there's also when
• 34:59
  it comes to goals, it's interesting because you know,
• 35:02
  I've been around, you've been around goal setting for a long
• 35:04
  time. I have to.
• 35:05
  And that's a lot of stuff that I'm sure you do, yeah, right
• 35:08
  with people. Well, because like I have AI
• 35:10
  have a client right now and one is one of his big things right
• 35:12
  now is he's wanting to lose weight, he's wanting to grow his
• 35:14
  business and there's all these different things and he can do
• 35:17
  it all, but he can't do it all. And you know.
• 35:21
  Like what's the prior? I want to get back in the gym
• 35:23
  and I want to lift and I want to do this and I want to do that.
• 35:25
  And I'm like, hey man, like how about we just set a really easy
• 35:28
  goal for you to hit? Like what if you walked twice
• 35:31
  this next week for the next month, you just you get up.
• 35:34
  Actually, let's even make it simpler.
• 35:36
  All I want you to do is I want you to put your shoes on your
• 35:39
  running shoes and I want you to go to the door.
• 35:41
  That's all you got to do. If you decide to go out.
• 35:43
  Hey, that's great, but let's just put the shoes on.
• 35:45
  Let's start there. Tomic habits type stuff.
• 35:48
  Yeah, Tomic habits kind of stuff.
• 35:50
  I like even Linda Kaplan Thaler with her, you know, make the bed
• 35:57
  before you wake. Up and I think I think not.
• 35:59
  Before you wake up, but. While you're sleeping, make the
• 36:02
  bed. Come on you you go get a.
• 36:05
  Streaming and I think this is the stuff too though, right?
• 36:08
  Like they're so through so everybody that I train through
• 36:12
  personal training and even like some remote things, I can set
• 36:17
  daily tasks and habits. So for pretty much everybody, 8
• 36:24
  ounces of water, right when you wake up.
• 36:26
  Yep. Right.
• 36:27
  Because what happens is if you, if you like, log your food for
• 36:31
  three days for me, if we can't do that.
• 36:34
  And so a lot of times I'll have people come in, man, I feel like
• 36:36
  this, this and this. It's like, are you logging your
• 36:38
  food? Right.
• 36:41
  That's one of those moments. It's the same way when you talk
• 36:43
  to pastors at church and one of their things is like they
• 36:47
  reading the word. Where are you at in the Bible?
• 36:49
  Yeah, right. And and I have significantly
• 36:53
  noticed when I'm not just checking the Bible box when I'm
• 36:57
  actually. Studying.
• 36:59
  Even dude, even like, you know, even Brett says like sometimes I
• 37:03
  don't want to do this. Like we, we are human.
• 37:06
  Like I love the gym, I love training, but sometimes I'm
• 37:10
  having a day the kids didn't sleep.
• 37:12
  We were out too late. I maybe was eating something I
• 37:15
  shouldn't have. And I'm struggling and those are
• 37:20
  the moments, right that are tough, but but when I'm just
• 37:25
  genuinely invested, even when I don't want to be, I know a just
• 37:29
  getting that habit, but I'm not checking the box to just get
• 37:32
  through when I'm when I'm genuinely like putting in that
• 37:34
  time, things are a little smoother.
• 37:37
  I'm not saying things aren't happening.
• 37:38
  I think I'm just handling them better.
• 37:40
  Probably right? Yeah, I want to rewind to your
• 37:42
  dad, because you said something that was kind of interesting to
• 37:46
  me of forgiveness that you had to go through like a stage of
• 37:49
  forgiveness with your dad. What did, what did forgiveness
• 37:51
  do for you after you actually forgave your dad?
• 37:54
  How, how did that Yeah, free you up to actually move forward in?
• 37:58
  Life man. Man, that's such a good question
• 37:59
  and I love talking about it now. So my mom and dad split up when
• 38:03
  I was, I think about 8, I don't think for the for the next 8
• 38:07
  years, I really kind of knew what was going on or whatever.
• 38:11
  He was gone and I got to go to Disneyland every year.
• 38:13
  You know, like that's pretty much what was going on.
• 38:15
  Like every, there's a their sides to the story.
• 38:17
  My stepmom's amazing. But I just remember right when I
• 38:21
  was about 16, I started to just like, man, I just don't like
• 38:24
  this dude, right? And some of it was, you know, I
• 38:27
  might have been around people that maybe didn't see him in a
• 38:31
  good light for maybe, you know, decent reasons.
• 38:35
  And I just remember being like, man, I just don't like this
• 38:37
  dude. And I, I, I was a victim.
• 38:41
  I made myself a victim. And I was like, man, forget
• 38:45
  this, right? And once I moved to LA though,
• 38:48
  cuz man, I packed the car up. Dude 2.
• 38:50
  I mean, I had, I had $2000. I had a 2001 Impala that my mom
• 38:54
  gave me cuz my 94 grand am died. I got out there, I reached out
• 38:58
  to some people who I didn't I kind of knew through someone
• 39:01
  else and I'm sleeping on the floor.
• 39:03
  I'm I'm just doing whatever I can.
• 39:05
  If I get a job at Foot locker, I've been working at Foot Locker
• 39:07
  in Michigan. So I get a job there when they
• 39:09
  open up this new project that Nike put on in in there and I'm,
• 39:14
  I'm working like a dog. Dude.
• 39:15
  I'm like first week there, 60-7 hours.
• 39:17
  I made like 500 bucks, right? I'm just whatever.
• 39:21
  And it it for the first time, I think honestly, I felt like this
• 39:24
  was the first time that I realized like I like I saw life
• 39:29
  for what it was and I saw how hard it was.
• 39:31
  And I just remember that was the first time I called my dad in
• 39:33
  tears and just alluded to like, hey, man, we're good.
• 39:37
  And I don't think it was good from that point.
• 39:41
  But what, when it really happened was probably like 12
• 39:44
  years later in 2020. And him and I just kind of
• 39:48
  started talking more. And it might have been a little
• 39:50
  before that, but I really feel like I wanted to forgive, but I
• 39:55
  didn't know how. And I just feel like the Lord
• 39:58
  just took that I, I have such a good relationship with my dad
• 40:02
  like I have I'd I have nothing I'll to speak about this man and
• 40:06
  his decisions because some of it as a parent.
• 40:08
  Now, dude, I'm not making a case for things that can happen, But
• 40:12
  if you remove Jesus from me and I'll, I'll even put this out
• 40:18
  there. In 2021, my wife and I were
• 40:21
  discussing divorce. And this is how our business got
• 40:25
  created. I looked at her and I actually,
• 40:27
  I didn't consult with her. First of all.
• 40:29
  I just started texting people and saying, hey, I'm training
• 40:31
  people out of the house because at that point, I'm, I'm a, I'm
• 40:34
  staying at home with the kids, but I'm really just trying to
• 40:37
  make it in the world, right? Yeah.
• 40:39
  And I decided, Nope, I'm done. I'm going to do something.
• 40:43
  Not the way this for for for young men out there.
• 40:45
  This is not what you should do, right?
• 40:48
  This is not the play, not the playbook.
• 40:50
  But I will but it but it will come back to God's redeeming
• 40:53
  grace though. And so I start texting
• 40:55
  neighborhood, right? Gyms are shut down.
• 40:58
  People start showing up and I'm like, all right, cool.
• 41:01
  So we had a gym set up because, you know, things were down and
• 41:04
  we ordered some equipment. And at that point I was checked
• 41:07
  out. I don't want to be a coach
• 41:08
  really. I was just chilling and people
• 41:12
  started coming and it got to the point where I looked at my wife
• 41:15
  and I said, hey, this is mine, stay out of it.
• 41:19
  Biblical manhood right there. You think?
• 41:21
  And my wife, who let's rewind again.
• 41:25
  OK, For all you young ladies out there, this isn't the move
• 41:27
  either. When I'm in Lai have no car, I
• 41:32
  have no job, I'm sleeping on floors and I literally tell my
• 41:35
  wife, you need to stay away from me.
• 41:38
  You have a career, you have a life.
• 41:40
  I'm a mess She doesn't she? I don't know.
• 41:45
  There was like a genuineness about me, like she.
• 41:47
  She graduated 2° and she's, she's doing well.
• 41:52
  So there's and she's working at Nike, right And there was this
• 41:55
  moment, though, where I feel and when I talk to her about this,
• 41:59
  there was like, I liked her though.
• 42:02
  I like being around her. Dude, there was sometimes we
• 42:05
  just we didn't. It's the same thing to today.
• 42:07
  We just don't do like, I just love being around her.
• 42:11
  Yeah, when we're just hanging out, we might be watching.
• 42:13
  You don't. Have to be talking.
• 42:14
  You'd have to be doing something or achieving something.
• 42:17
  Like, is she like, she is my friend?
• 42:19
  Yeah, right. We like she is my friend.
• 42:21
  And she was like, no. So she so she comes back
• 42:24
  through, right? And we start hanging out again.
• 42:28
  So Fast forward again. I tell her, hey, stay out of
• 42:30
  this. This is mine, right?
• 42:31
  I wanted this thing to be Joe buys whatever, right?
• 42:34
  And she just looks at me. And finally, she's like, all
• 42:37
  right, buys family fitness, gets the domain.
• 42:40
  Cool. I like it.
• 42:41
  Like, talk about redemption, right?
• 42:43
  Yeah. So when I look back at that
• 42:45
  moment, if I don't understand God's design for family, for
• 42:49
  marriage, for, you know how he hates divorce?
• 42:53
  No, I I know why people do this. I get it.
• 42:57
  I'm not. I can't judge that.
• 42:58
  Like that would have been me except for for some reason I'll
• 43:03
  never understand, the God of the universe chose to give me his
• 43:09
  grace and bless me. There's something really cool
• 43:13
  about I I know someone that you train and he was, he was
• 43:18
  actually coming over. We had coffee.
• 43:19
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, it was funny because he
• 43:21
  was like, yeah, I got to, I got to get going because I got to
• 43:23
  pick up my son. We're going to go workout.
• 43:24
  Was that the day that I text you to?
• 43:26
  Yeah. And then he was like, yo man, I
• 43:28
  was just. And it was like.
• 43:29
  Crazy. I was like wait a SEC, wait I
• 43:31
  dude, this is all. You saw your podcast that
• 43:34
  morning and then you were with him that morning.
• 43:37
  Yeah, that's. Amazing.
• 43:38
  It was so funny. But there's something that's
• 43:40
  really cool about that of of a father and a son coming together
• 43:45
  to work out and just to hang out with you, spend time with you,
• 43:48
  get instruction and for you to work with them.
• 43:51
  I'm curious, how has that vision kind of shifted in your life of
• 43:56
  going like, yeah, I really want to train athletes.
• 43:58
  I want to, you know, I want to get people, you know, you know,
• 44:01
  solid, ripped, ready to go compete.
• 44:04
  I mean, because you you have people that you've trained that
• 44:07
  are competitors. But at the same time, there's
• 44:09
  this family aspect of like family fitness of working out
• 44:13
  together as a family, being being active as a family.
• 44:16
  How is that shift really made an impact in the way that you see
• 44:22
  not even just business, but life moving?
• 44:23
  Forward yeah big time man that's a great that's a great point I
• 44:26
  think that one of the biggest things that I've come to realize
• 44:29
  is there's almost like from a fleshly perspective I I want I
• 44:35
  want the bells and whistles for what we do right I want when I
• 44:38
  look at a lot of the maybe the content that's out there it's
• 44:42
  like, oh this dude's training a professional athlete whatever.
• 44:45
  So I have a, a guy that's become a friend of mine who is who's
• 44:51
  who, who has done work with someone who trains like high
• 44:55
  level athletes. Like if I told you their name,
• 44:58
  you know, you know, right. And I got on the I texted him, I
• 45:02
  said, hey, man, you do you do consulting?
• 45:05
  Can you? And he's like, just, yeah,
• 45:06
  here's my number, like just hit me up.
• 45:09
  So I hit him up and we start talking and I'm like, yo, so
• 45:12
  how's he feel about like, what's training?
• 45:14
  You know, because these are Christians, these are Christian
• 45:16
  dudes. How's he feel about, you know,
• 45:18
  training this and this? And he was like, man, honestly,
• 45:21
  he doesn't even like training professional athletes because
• 45:23
  you got to deal with agents and entourages and all this stuff,
• 45:26
  right? And it was one of those moments
• 45:30
  where I started to realize with what we're doing, I mean, don't
• 45:34
  get it twisted, man. Like, I'm a competitor.
• 45:37
  So I'm not just trying to be the Christian version of what, hey,
• 45:40
  the music's good and it's family atmosphere.
• 45:44
  The results are kind of, I don't know, like, no, like I am trying
• 45:48
  to be studious because I want to provide service.
• 45:52
  Now. I don't do that with like, we're
• 45:54
  going to take down every other gym and then and you know, like
• 45:57
  that's not the vibe. It's a competition.
• 45:58
  But if you're coming to me, I don't want you hurt like like,
• 46:02
  and and this breaks down to all my SO with my athletes.
• 46:05
  OK, And this breaks down to all my clients, but it's, it's comes
• 46:08
  off differently with my athletes.
• 46:09
  Fast, explosive, strong and injury free.
• 46:12
  OK, now that scales for everyone.
• 46:14
  So even if I have someone in their 60s, fast, explosive,
• 46:18
  strong injury for you, am I sprinting them?
• 46:20
  Am I trying to get them ready for a sport like a 13 year old
• 46:22
  or whatever? No, but I still want to provide.
• 46:26
  Hey, I want you out of pain. I want to move.
• 46:28
  Well, these are things that we're we're creating, but that
• 46:33
  is not, you can get a lot of those things, but what you're
• 46:36
  not going to get when you come to our facility, you're not
• 46:40
  going to get secular music that has just horrible messaging.
• 46:46
  You're not going to get bad language.
• 46:47
  There's going to be a reverence. And there's things that we're,
• 46:51
  and you know, depending on the crowd, there may be some
• 46:53
  different conversations we need to have around that.
• 46:55
  But that is the vibe like Colossians 323, like we are
• 46:59
  working heartily unto the Lord. And that doesn't mean everybody
• 47:01
  that I trained has to be a Christian, but I want to make
• 47:04
  sure that we're not hiding what we're about and where we stand.
• 47:09
  So to answer your question, the, the family, and it's my wife and
• 47:15
  I've had these conversations because it's like, man, what do
• 47:17
  you, what do we do? What's our thing, what's our
• 47:18
  thing? And I had a pastor, I met with a
• 47:19
  pastor at our church maybe a couple weeks ago.
• 47:22
  And he's like, man from the outside looking in, it's body,
• 47:24
  soul and spirit, right? You're building the body, you're
• 47:27
  uplifting. And then it's centered on
• 47:29
  Christ, right? It's like, man, that's it.
• 47:32
  So the family aspect, I mean, there are days when I trained 3
• 47:37
  generations of a family, kids, parents who are our friends and
• 47:42
  then their parents, yeah, who are the kids grandparents?
• 47:46
  And we're kind of in the middle with a lot of our friend group.
• 47:48
  Like we got some friends who are in their young 30s and their
• 47:50
  parents are in their mid 50s or like close to 60s.
• 47:53
  So we're just kind of like in that tween stage, you know?
• 47:56
  Yeah. But that is, that is what it is,
• 47:58
  man. I want to make sure that if
• 47:59
  we're providing a service, we're providing a service, dude.
• 48:03
  And I've been so blessed with amazing coaches that have given
• 48:07
  me things that kind of aren't mainstream.
• 48:10
  And if you give me a top tier wide receiver, I can pretty much
• 48:18
  do anything I want to them for a while.
• 48:20
  And they're probably going to still be fast.
• 48:22
  Yeah. But give me the kid who's
• 48:24
  tripping over his feet and can't tie his shoe and chew gum at the
• 48:26
  same time. That's fun.
• 48:29
  Yeah. Right.
• 48:30
  Especially because some of these, it's it's intimidating,
• 48:33
  man. I have a kid right now who
• 48:35
  doesn't like he kind of plays sports, but his mom just wanted
• 48:39
  him in to be around. So he's like with my sport
• 48:41
  performance group and I'll what's your sport?
• 48:42
  What's your sport? Soccer, lacrosse, football,
• 48:44
  whatever. And he's just, you know, so like
• 48:47
  the family aspect. I want parents to see that this
• 48:52
  is this is character stuff too. This isn't just you know what,
• 48:56
  there's a we don't have to say 100%, but a very high chance
• 49:00
  that this child of yours is not going to go play professionally.
• 49:03
  Statistically, there's four hundred 450 spots in the NBA.
• 49:06
  Yeah, probably not going to. Happen right.
• 49:08
  I mean, it's, it's crazy. So my, my wife's cousin, their,
• 49:13
  their son was playing basketball recently just in Gresham.
• 49:16
  And I walked in the gym. I was like, man, half these kids
• 49:18
  are 65. Like, like at one point I
• 49:22
  laughed because they, they subbed out all like their second
• 49:26
  string, just, you know, give their first string a little bit
• 49:29
  of a break. And literally the second string
• 49:32
  was all like kids that were my size playing basketball when,
• 49:36
  when I was a kid. And I look at this and I look at
• 49:39
  all the sports nowadays and everyone is so competitive and
• 49:41
  focused on winning. Don't get me wrong, I love
• 49:44
  winning. Winning is an important thing.
• 49:46
  Like we, we need to teach a winning atmosphere, a winning
• 49:48
  spirit, but within our kids, but we need to understand
• 49:52
  specifically what winning is. And I'm curious actually for you
• 49:56
  of when did winning change for you?
• 49:58
  Because winning at one point was like, I want to be the best.
• 50:02
  I want to be recognized. It was, it was a, you know,
• 50:05
  there's a winning of me, me, me, me.
• 50:07
  And then there's a different kind of winning that comes along
• 50:09
  later in life where you go, I want to win by helping other
• 50:12
  people win. When was that shift for you?
• 50:16
  About 30 minutes ago, I would say.
• 50:20
  You know it's wild when you say that, right?
• 50:22
  Because like I've told you guys before we started rolling, I've
• 50:27
  been in a 2 day Monopoly match with my 10 year old and last
• 50:32
  time we played my wife and him like man, I got boardwalk
• 50:36
  hotels. I I bet everybody's handed me.
• 50:39
  Decimated. I'm just.
• 50:40
  Thousands of dollars, right And now this dude has taken me to
• 50:43
  the woodshed. He's got he's sitting right now,
• 50:45
  the game's paused. He's got like $6500.
• 50:48
  He I'm in trouble, OK, I've been in trouble for a for a whole
• 50:52
  last day, but I think it's such a, the more I think about it,
• 50:57
  it's not necessarily the want to win, but it's what happens after
• 51:05
  you win or lose. What's my response to that?
• 51:08
  Because dude, I don't like to lose.
• 51:10
  I don't like to, I don't like if we're, I'm not like, like when
• 51:15
  you hear like Michael Jordan stories, like I'm not like, cut
• 51:18
  your heart out, stomp on your throat.
• 51:19
  And like, that's not, that's not, that's never been my vibe.
• 51:23
  Yeah, but I also don't like to lose.
• 51:25
  I'm I'm, I'm competitive, right? But if I do lose, I need to look
• 51:30
  at, OK, dude, did you do everything you could?
• 51:33
  How did how did you lose? How do you win?
• 51:36
  A big thing that we talked to our kids about is, you know,
• 51:39
  every time, hey man, what comes before destruction?
• 51:43
  Pride, pride, because it's easy, right?
• 51:45
  All of a sudden you get a little bit of money in Monopoly and you
• 51:48
  start to you don't realize it, but things coming out of your
• 51:50
  mouth are it's it was a trajectory.
• 51:52
  I think I've always not wanted to lose, but once I turned
• 51:57
  probably 15, that was when it turned into like, oh, man,
• 52:01
  competition, right? Yeah, but not to the point of if
• 52:06
  I do lose here, it's going to wreck my life.
• 52:10
  But how do we respond to this? Because ultimately, it's his
• 52:14
  riches in heaven, right? It's his glory.
• 52:15
  It's not mine. But I don't think he calls us to
• 52:19
  not work hardly unto him either. Yeah.
• 52:23
  So if the result is what it is, but at the same time, OK, is
• 52:29
  winning making sure the athletes that come to me go all get
• 52:34
  Division One scholarships or is it creating character in them so
• 52:41
  that they can go be godly men and women?
• 52:44
  Yeah, right. That that I think is the bigger
• 52:47
  question now because I start to realize my son, and this was
• 52:53
  something recent, my son is not going me playing Monopoly with
• 53:02
  my son is more important than how much revenue we did last
• 53:05
  month. Now there's a rub because we got
• 53:08
  we got to eat. Yeah, OK.
• 53:10
  But I started to realize, man, dude, you talk about treasures
• 53:15
  in heaven, the time with our kids.
• 53:18
  And there's moments, man, where your dad needs to go down to the
• 53:21
  gym by himself and there's going to be loud music and heavy
• 53:23
  weights and then I'm going to come home.
• 53:26
  Like there's moments right where we need to find that time for
• 53:28
  ourselves. Yeah.
• 53:29
  But man, we start to see the investment in your kids.
• 53:32
  And that's what I'm thankful. I'm so grateful to God that I
• 53:35
  have the relationship I do with my mom and my dad, you know,
• 53:39
  because it. I mean, man, I could be in
• 53:40
  prison. I could hate this dude.
• 53:42
  I could whatever. But my mom and my dad, in their
• 53:46
  own ways, have played instrumental roles in my life.
• 53:50
  And it's, it's understanding where those investments are.
• 53:54
  And it's a daily process, dude, because there's some days where
• 53:57
  it's like, man, I got to, we got to pour into these kids more,
• 54:00
  man, because I've been kind of distant or I've been a lot of
• 54:02
  been going on at work and there's seasons, right?
• 54:04
  But I think I would say, man, there's just periods of shift
• 54:07
  that it happened and understanding look, this this
• 54:12
  trophy pure gold will tarnish at some point because Christ coming
• 54:20
  to burn this place up right. So where are we putting our
• 54:24
  actual treasures right. Like what's what's the legacy
• 54:28
  for? I mean, even when you think
• 54:29
  about like former people who former athletes, the great the
• 54:35
  goats, right. Yeah, Kobe Bryant or whoever
• 54:38
  they're still it becomes a name on a building at some point.
• 54:43
  It's an award with a name. Yeah, that we're, we're all
• 54:48
  going to die, right. So what what is the important
• 54:52
  like what are the treasures in heaven, right?
• 54:53
  We a lot of times I think we only think of that as investing
• 54:56
  our money in things, which I guess you could make a case for
• 54:59
  in terms of this with that we're talking about still.
• 55:02
  But the devotion time with our kids or spending those times,
• 55:07
  even stuff like this, man, this is huge, you know?
• 55:10
  It's really interesting of, you know, your relationship with
• 55:12
  your dad growing up to you being a stay at home dad for eight
• 55:16
  years, like, like that's huge to be able to pour into your kids.
• 55:20
  And you know, I'm in that stage also of being stay at home dad
• 55:23
  and not working crazy hours, just like you're working crazy
• 55:26
  hours. And there's, there's that moment
• 55:29
  with your kids where I don't know if this has happened for
• 55:32
  you yet or maybe it had happened a long time ago.
• 55:34
  But for me, there was this moment.
• 55:37
  I, I heard someone say we're, we're trying to, we're trying to
• 55:39
  get our kids into heaven, not Harvard.
• 55:43
  And I, I heard that I was like, ha, that's really interesting
• 55:45
  because in the back of my head I'm like, oh man, I got to make
• 55:48
  sure my kids are smart. I got to make sure they're well
• 55:50
  read, that they're reading books and they're doing, they're good
• 55:52
  at math. And you know, and so I'm
• 55:54
  thinking all this stuff as I'm homeschooling them.
• 55:56
  And at the, at the end of the day, I'm going, what's the most
• 55:58
  important thing? Am I teaching my kids character?
• 56:01
  Am I teach to them about Jesus? Am I teaching them about how to
• 56:04
  care for others? Like even just yesterday, it was
• 56:06
  funny because I was sitting my, my daughter was sitting in my
• 56:09
  lap and she, she said, Dad, we should, we should love people
• 56:14
  that aren't nice to us. And I said, oh, that's true.
• 56:17
  The Bible says, actually the Bible goes further.
• 56:19
  We should love people that hate us, people that spit in our
• 56:23
  face, people that kick us and push us and people that break
• 56:26
  our arms and people that, you know, and I went through all
• 56:29
  these different things and her eyes just got big.
• 56:32
  And it's like, because the Bible calls us to love people that
• 56:35
  hate us, that persecute us. And, and that has to be a
• 56:39
  choice. And in fact, even in my
• 56:41
  devotions this morning, I was reading about that of like, we
• 56:44
  have to love people that hate us.
• 56:46
  It's through our love for them. It, it just boggles their mind,
• 56:50
  right? You know, it's the, it's the the
• 56:52
  scripture of what is it being kind to being kind to your your
• 56:59
  enemy and heaping coals, hot coals on their head because
• 57:04
  everyone's like, like, yeah. Yeah.
• 57:06
  Pour them over their head and that and that's not what it was.
• 57:10
  You know, one of the one of the the beliefs behind that is that
• 57:13
  if your neighbor or someone that you didn't like, if they came to
• 57:17
  you and their stove was out, you would literally put hot coals.
• 57:21
  You take a coal from your fire, they put it, you put it on their
• 57:24
  head and they would take it back to their house and they'd
• 57:27
  relight their fire with the. Coal that you gave dude.
• 57:30
  It it's, it's a kindness piece. It's a loving piece.
• 57:33
  Like it even reminds me of, you know, I was, I was like a a
• 57:38
  massive guy. Like I wanted to compete, I
• 57:40
  wanted to win. And I remember my coach telling
• 57:42
  me like, Hey, go invest into the other competitors, go give them
• 57:47
  feedback and help them so that they could beat you or be better
• 57:50
  next year. I'm thinking, why do I want to
• 57:52
  help the competition, right? But I still remember going to
• 57:57
  different people and saying, hey, like, if you did this move
• 57:59
  this way or you snapped this kick this way, it'd be it'd be a
• 58:03
  lot quicker, a lot faster and look smoother.
• 58:05
  Hey, dude. Or timing.
• 58:06
  And, and all of a sudden, it's interesting because all of my
• 58:11
  competitors stopped competing against me and started competing
• 58:15
  with me. Yeah.
• 58:17
  And, and that's originally what competition was in the original
• 58:20
  Greek. It wasn't competing against one
• 58:22
  another. It was competing against
• 58:24
  yourself. And your competition would allow
• 58:28
  you to sharpen yourself like iron sharpens iron, as we read
• 58:32
  in the word. Dude, because what happens when
• 58:35
  we all get better if we focus on us because the people we serve
• 58:40
  get better that like that's that's why capitalism and that's
• 58:45
  why competition work. Yeah, healthy.
• 58:49
  And you and you can, yeah, you can.
• 58:50
  You can mess up anything, right? But, man, if I just remember my
• 58:57
  friend in Florida, I'm like, hey, man, I'm thinking about,
• 58:58
  you know, posting something kind of like this.
• 59:00
  I know you did this already. But he's like, look, man,
• 59:02
  there's enough for all of us to eat.
• 59:04
  So when people come to me like, yo, how do you feel about this
• 59:06
  trainer I know they're training with?
• 59:07
  Dude, listen you, I want results for you.
• 59:12
  If that's with me, then let's go.
• 59:14
  If it's with someone else, dude, I'm with it man, you know?
• 59:18
  If it gets you healthier and it makes you happy, go for.
• 59:20
  It because if we focus on service, right, Yeah, it's just
• 59:24
  about the service, yeah. So if, if, if you, because I've
• 59:29
  had people who we train with me for a little bit knows it,
• 59:34
  right. I think early on in my career it
• 59:35
  was a little more like, oh, man, because you want to help
• 59:37
  everyone. Yeah.
• 59:38
  And I did something wrong that now they're not just training
• 59:41
  with I. Just might not have it might be
• 59:42
  too expensive. It might not be the type of
• 59:44
  training you're looking for. It might be something I just I
• 59:47
  don't have for you. Like if someone came to me and
• 59:49
  said, hey, man, I want you to teach me the Olympic lifts.
• 59:52
  I got two options. I can go do a lot of studying,
• 59:55
  reach out to some people, or I can just say, hey man, I'm not
• 59:58
  your guy. I would look into this, right?
• 1:00:01
  Or if someone comes to me because we do what we do, some
• 1:00:03
  like prehab rehab type work. And now again, if it's something
• 1:00:08
  that I feel like is in our wheelhouse, I'm very confident
• 1:00:10
  that we can do that, right. And it's, it's not like from a
• 1:00:13
  hubris perspective, I've just been thankful to have a lot of
• 1:00:16
  teaching and I've put myself through things.
• 1:00:18
  I've done things with clients. But if you if, if it's a little
• 1:00:23
  outside of my scope, I have to be honest to say, man, this
• 1:00:28
  person might even be willing to pay me.
• 1:00:31
  But man, it's just, you know, I run into that with, with
• 1:00:33
  scheduling where it's like, Hey, can you, can you do this time?
• 1:00:36
  And like, I gave myself a hard no on that.
• 1:00:39
  But then I went, can I do that time?
• 1:00:42
  And I, I had to conversation my wife last night and I was like,
• 1:00:44
  Hey, should I probably not do this?
• 1:00:47
  It's a little earlier than we want.
• 1:00:48
  I know we kind of have a big day Wednesday, maybe Bible study
• 1:00:51
  Wednesday night, you know, and she's like, yeah, dude, I just,
• 1:00:55
  I don't think that's the move, but that's trusting in the Lord,
• 1:00:59
  right To say, all right, you know what?
• 1:01:00
  This is why I'm saying no to this.
• 1:01:02
  If I'm just saying no because I'm trying to be lazy, like
• 1:01:04
  that's one thing. Yeah, but I, but I think I think
• 1:01:07
  to, to, to look at competition in that regard.
• 1:01:10
  Yeah. Of yo, man, this we all get to
• 1:01:12
  eat. There's this is not a this is
• 1:01:14
  not a pie that if you only go to me, you go like, where are your
• 1:01:18
  results at? Let's go get you results.
• 1:01:20
  And if we focus, like and obsess over other people's problems
• 1:01:24
  because that's all we do. Yeah.
• 1:01:25
  Someone comes in. OK, what's your problem?
• 1:01:28
  This is what I can do to fix it. Yeah.
• 1:01:30
  This is what it's going to cost. And this is how much time.
• 1:01:32
  And these are the things we have to do.
• 1:01:34
  Yeah. Now those areas might scare some
• 1:01:37
  people. And it's like, cool, then it's
• 1:01:39
  all good. Let me know.
• 1:01:41
  I think we can maybe go this option depending on the type of
• 1:01:43
  person you are. But it's literally looking at
• 1:01:46
  that because the second you come in and I'm thinking about me,
• 1:01:49
  you're going to feel that. Yeah, Right.
• 1:01:51
  And and we've all felt that, right.
• 1:01:52
  But if I'm looking at you and I'm saying, hey, where's your
• 1:01:54
  problem? OK, we can definitely fix that.
• 1:01:57
  And this is what it's going to be and to not be ashamed of
• 1:02:00
  because that's the other piece of business, right?
• 1:02:02
  A lot of times you think you're you're not doing a quality job
• 1:02:06
  in business and you're scamming people if you're just trying to
• 1:02:09
  get paid for your work. Yeah.
• 1:02:10
  But it's ultimately finding a way to find a solution.
• 1:02:14
  You know, like, stuff at Costco keeps going up and I don't know
• 1:02:17
  who I have to talk to, but this ground beef is killing me right
• 1:02:20
  now. You know you.
• 1:02:22
  Got to buy the whole cow for me just.
• 1:02:23
  Just bring me a cow. I'll walk it out.
• 1:02:25
  You can hear the bell, you know. So as we kind of wrap up and and
• 1:02:30
  get towards the end here, there I have two, I have two areas I'm
• 1:02:33
  I'm really curious about for you.
• 1:02:35
  First, it's your ride or die Tatiana.
• 1:02:39
  When did when did you guys first meet and how has she really
• 1:02:45
  helped you to become the man that you are today?
• 1:02:48
  Oh dude. I mean, I know, I know she was
• 1:02:50
  there with you, you know, at your concerts.
• 1:02:53
  And man, this is. Like, you know, you do, you at
• 1:02:56
  one point said that you guys were going to have, you know, a
• 1:02:59
  million trillion. I said 11 billion. 11 billion.
• 1:03:03
  It was a it was a word that I wasn't familiar with.
• 1:03:05
  Yeah. I you know, we're good at
• 1:03:07
  creating words in our house. But what is?
• 1:03:10
  What has she done for you? Like, not for you, but how has
• 1:03:13
  she really helped to really hold up the mirror for for the man
• 1:03:18
  that you want to be, the man that God created you to be?
• 1:03:21
  Proverbs 31 bro, you know when you think about the Proverbs 31
• 1:03:25
  woman, I look back at when we met.
• 1:03:30
  OK, so she's so she had a 20 year career at Nike.
• 1:03:35
  She had just she just left a year ago so we could go full
• 1:03:38
  time into the gym. We got our gym space in July of
• 1:03:42
  this past year, 2025, I met her. So I was working at Foot Locker
• 1:03:47
  in LA, like I mentioned, right? And there was an event where
• 1:03:54
  retail associates will come try on some shoes.
• 1:03:57
  I think it was like the LeBron 6 or something.
• 1:04:00
  And he's in like the 20s now. So if you want, I'm dating
• 1:04:03
  myself here, right? And you try on the shoe and then
• 1:04:06
  you give Nike feedback on the shoe.
• 1:04:10
  And so that was her pretty much her first job at Nike.
• 1:04:13
  And I met her there and I was just in one of those evenings.
• 1:04:18
  You know, you like, you're just like you have a moment where
• 1:04:22
  your life's good. I was.
• 1:04:24
  It was one of those nights for whatever reason.
• 1:04:27
  Everything was hidden. Life was good.
• 1:04:28
  I was, I was chatty. I'm joking with her, you know,
• 1:04:31
  whatever. But in my mind, never crossed my
• 1:04:35
  mind that this woman is going to want anything to do with me.
• 1:04:40
  Because, dude, let's be honest, I'm, I'm working at Foot Locker.
• 1:04:42
  And at this point, I've been in LA long enough to where like
• 1:04:46
  nobody in that atmosphere is like, yo, the retail worker
• 1:04:50
  who's not even making $7.00 an hour right now.
• 1:04:53
  Yeah, this guy, he's probably. He's gonna bow.
• 1:04:56
  So, so I, I run up on her and I'm just we're talking and
• 1:04:59
  she's, you know, whatever. And I finally, dude, this is so
• 1:05:01
  funny. I look at her and I go, you're
• 1:05:04
  vibing me, aren't you? And she goes, what does that
• 1:05:07
  even mean? And I'm just like, and so then
• 1:05:11
  we went back to playing and whatever.
• 1:05:12
  And I thought I was doing something, you know, I didn't
• 1:05:14
  realize she had been a Division One athlete.
• 1:05:16
  Like I'm out there hooping. I'm playing.
• 1:05:17
  Well, I'm thinking, Oh yeah, she probably, I look back, I'm like,
• 1:05:20
  OK, she played it for the state. Like I'm probably athletically
• 1:05:23
  this is far, far lower than, you know, looking back, I'm like,
• 1:05:29
  she probably who? I'm an NAIA bench warmer.
• 1:05:32
  I know she you know, and so I just leave, dude, you know, I
• 1:05:36
  leave and she comes back into the footlocker that I'm in it
• 1:05:41
  and I end up giving her. I had like a business card, like
• 1:05:45
  a music business card, but on the back it said booking info
• 1:05:48
  contact, like it's my manager or something, right?
• 1:05:52
  But no. So she texts me like, Hey, is
• 1:05:54
  this you, you know, and then we started talking and hanging out
• 1:05:58
  and stuff. But I think the the thing like
• 1:06:01
  she was there like at the jump, right?
• 1:06:05
  And honestly, like, she just shouldn't have been, you know,
• 1:06:11
  So for her, she is someone who continually like, even when I
• 1:06:19
  know I'm out of the pocket, I know if I have to ask her, then
• 1:06:27
  I'm, I already know, like to the point where have you ever had
• 1:06:32
  those moments where if I'm doing something like she's just the
• 1:06:38
  mirror. So if my wife was sitting right
• 1:06:41
  next to me and I'm not even talking about something like
• 1:06:44
  malicious. I'm talking about maybe the vibe
• 1:06:47
  of a piece of content that is becoming a little too fleshly,
• 1:06:51
  like exalting me versus exalting us and the business and the
• 1:06:56
  clients and the people. I already know.
• 1:06:58
  If I got to run this by her, I try to sidestep her right?
• 1:07:01
  Like she is, she is a mirror. And I remember talking to pastor
• 1:07:04
  at church about this and he's like, look, if if something's a
• 1:07:08
  mess with your wife, your relationship with the Lord's
• 1:07:10
  probably off too. And when I get that order right,
• 1:07:14
  you know, like we have to think about it.
• 1:07:16
  So that like the the encouragement for her, but not
• 1:07:19
  only that dude, like I got to say this.
• 1:07:21
  The majority of my life I've by biblical standards, I've been a
• 1:07:28
  horrible man and I was not a solid father for five years,
• 1:07:35
  right. I had no footing in like what
• 1:07:40
  was good and what was to be done until I got conviction from the
• 1:07:45
  Lord. I was just chasing different
• 1:07:46
  rabbits in the world, right. So when she it's less now, dude,
• 1:07:53
  but early on, when she's hesitant to a decision I'm
• 1:07:56
  trying to make, I'm not mad at her for that because I get it,
• 1:08:01
  because I just, I just, you know, we met in 2008.
• 1:08:04
  We got married in 2013. I started knowing the Lord.
• 1:08:09
  Let's just call it 2022, end of 21.
• 1:08:14
  That's a long time to just right.
• 1:08:17
  So for me with her, there's, there's moments where I kind of
• 1:08:20
  get I'm, I'm like, Hey, look, I know you're not really maybe
• 1:08:24
  feeling, you know, maybe it's like how we're structuring
• 1:08:26
  certain trainings or the numbers, but for the most part,
• 1:08:33
  it's like we're on the same page, you know.
• 1:08:35
  So she she's been a great mirror for me, but I'm also thankful
• 1:08:39
  for God's grace through her that she even trust me at all to to
• 1:08:45
  make a sound decision to be where I'm said I'm going to be
• 1:08:50
  like there is such. I mean when you read, you know,
• 1:08:55
  he who finds a Good Wife. It's more valuable than rubies
• 1:08:59
  or you go through Ephesians 5 and what we're called to do as
• 1:09:02
  men by loving our wives, washing them in the water of the word.
• 1:09:08
  If I don't have this playbook, what am I doing?
• 1:09:11
  Hey, I'm making money for the family.
• 1:09:13
  So I get to go do whatever I want.
• 1:09:14
  Like you you mentioned this earlier too.
• 1:09:17
  I want to circle back where you talk about, like, the things
• 1:09:22
  that we aren't yet prepared for. And I think about had I been
• 1:09:29
  given this gym 10 years ago, it would have been a mess.
• 1:09:36
  And I need to remember that now because I think I need, Lord, we
• 1:09:40
  need this. This is what we need now.
• 1:09:43
  And it's like, oh, OK, so you can go put your hope in that.
• 1:09:45
  Yeah, right. Like I'm not prepared to handle
• 1:09:48
  that yet, right. Yeah.
• 1:09:50
  And she just does a good job of, I mean, we both do a great job
• 1:09:54
  together of, you know, let's let's pump the brakes, right?
• 1:09:59
  We're go getters, dude. Like we just want to go make it
• 1:10:01
  happen. And so it's like times where
• 1:10:04
  over this Christmas season, we're shutting the gym down for
• 1:10:06
  five days and I'm gonna probably go stir crazy and maybe gain 5
• 1:10:11
  lbs. But we got a little gym in the
• 1:10:13
  garage still at home. So it's things like that where
• 1:10:17
  she's just been just solid, man. I mean, I am so undeserving of
• 1:10:24
  so much, but to have this woman and then she's my first hire.
• 1:10:29
  I got a 20 year Nike executive as my first as my operations
• 1:10:33
  manager right now. You're doing pretty good, dude.
• 1:10:35
  And I met her, you know, like the way I met her so.
• 1:10:38
  You know you're not supposed to sleep with your employees
• 1:10:40
  though, right? That's true.
• 1:10:42
  That's true. That's true.
• 1:10:44
  You've got to look into that a little bit.
• 1:10:45
  I think it's. I think there's a clause, I
• 1:10:47
  think. There's a clause if you're.
• 1:10:48
  The marriage clause, Right. And you have kids already.
• 1:10:50
  OK, good. I think you're.
• 1:10:51
  That's good. All right.
• 1:10:52
  Nice. I love it so much.
• 1:10:54
  And I love that you talk about slowing down too.
• 1:10:57
  Like there's there's a period of life where we're always trying
• 1:11:00
  to speed up. We're always trying to get the
• 1:11:01
  next best thing. You know, we're talking about
• 1:11:03
  like the podcast, this whole podcast stuff.
• 1:11:05
  And you know, it's easy to walk in and go, oh, I gotta, I want
• 1:11:08
  to have all the money. I don't have the lights and this
• 1:11:10
  and that. And at the end of the day, it's
• 1:11:11
  just like just starting. And not only is it just
• 1:11:14
  starting, it's are you pouring your heart into something, but
• 1:11:18
  not are you just pulling in your heart into it, but are you
• 1:11:21
  pouring your heart into something that God has given
• 1:11:24
  you? And that he is asking you to do.
• 1:11:26
  Yeah, right. Because what?
• 1:11:28
  What? What God has anything about
• 1:11:32
  spirit or marriage? What God has brought together.
• 1:11:35
  Let no man take a part. But even even from a business
• 1:11:39
  perspective, Yeah, yo, this is the same guy that part of the
• 1:11:43
  Red Sea that crossed the Jordan raised Lazarus from the dead.
• 1:11:48
  Jesus was raised. Like, if this is what God has,
• 1:11:53
  you know, be anxious for nothing.
• 1:11:55
  Yeah, you know, Jesus talking about don't be anxious for your
• 1:11:59
  life. Like literally stop.
• 1:12:01
  Right. Like this is going to be it's,
• 1:12:04
  it's either he's with it or he's not.
• 1:12:05
  And that doesn't mean we're not going to have decisions to make
• 1:12:07
  and things like that. But it's amazing that we, we
• 1:12:11
  know, like you said, like is the Lord moving me in this
• 1:12:15
  direction? Then that's what it is, you
• 1:12:18
  know? Yeah, it's it's man, I I
• 1:12:21
  couldn't even say it better. It are you putting your hope in
• 1:12:27
  things or you putting your hope in God who gives you these
• 1:12:30
  things, Do these things to to take care of, I mean.
• 1:12:34
  Stewardship, right? Stewardship, one of the most
• 1:12:37
  powerful words that from, you know, season 1 Mark Carmen.
• 1:12:40
  I still remember us just sitting down and him talking about
• 1:12:43
  stewardship and, and still to this day, every single time I'm
• 1:12:48
  looking at things, my kids, the the house that we have, the
• 1:12:51
  equipment, whatever it is, it's all stewardship.
• 1:12:54
  It's like none of this is mine. I could take it away at any
• 1:12:56
  point. He's go OK, like that's that's
• 1:12:58
  what it is. But in like, that's where we
• 1:13:00
  have to. I have to get to though, because
• 1:13:02
  I get to these places where I forget that and then I start to
• 1:13:05
  remember good and bad. Yeah, like none of this is mine,
• 1:13:11
  none of the gym, whatever. And I and then we have these,
• 1:13:15
  I'm sure you do 2 conversations with our kids, right?
• 1:13:17
  Because there's an there's an anxiety around a lost Lego or
• 1:13:21
  whatever. And it's, I think we have to, we
• 1:13:25
  have to look what are, what, how, what's our relationship to
• 1:13:31
  this thing if it was taken away. And what's real hard is when you
• 1:13:34
  look at your spouse and your children like that.
• 1:13:36
  Because if I'm identifying as a dad, right and do my business is
• 1:13:42
  by family Fitness. So there's a.
• 1:13:44
  There's a family component. Too.
• 1:13:45
  There's a family component, but it's also, we consider our
• 1:13:48
  clients our family. Yeah.
• 1:13:50
  And when you look at the church body as family.
• 1:13:54
  So I like where you're at, man, because that's something that we
• 1:13:57
  have to constantly remember. We don't want to be poor
• 1:13:59
  stewards to these things. But if this thing is controlling
• 1:14:03
  my thoughts, right, if every night I go to bed thinking I
• 1:14:06
  hope no breaks in my car, I hope no breaks in my car.
• 1:14:09
  If I want someone to break into my car, no.
• 1:14:10
  Do I lock my doors? Yeah, right.
• 1:14:12
  I'm not trying to test God either.
• 1:14:13
  Like, all right, God, I'm gonna leave the doors open.
• 1:14:15
  I'm gonna leave it downtown and Uber home and we'll see what
• 1:14:17
  happens. Like, that's not a good move
• 1:14:19
  either, right? There's a stewardship component.
• 1:14:21
  But to your point, man, we got to make sure we know where this
• 1:14:25
  is from and who's steering the ship.
• 1:14:28
  And we got, we get a pretty nice seat in the ride though, right?
• 1:14:31
  And it's, it's so much better to be sitting in the seat than the
• 1:14:35
  driver's seat, Bro, honestly, 'cause you know, with my life
• 1:14:39
  and where I've driven my life, it's, it's, it's not a pretty
• 1:14:41
  picture, You know, I didn't, I didn't have a four wheel drive
• 1:14:44
  vehicle in my life. It was.
• 1:14:46
  It was all bumps. Missing the wheel I.
• 1:14:49
  Could I could go down this road? I got 4 wheel drive.
• 1:14:51
  No you don't. God didn't give you a 4 wheel
• 1:14:53
  drive car. Don't do that.
• 1:14:54
  Don't. Do that dude.
• 1:14:55
  Yeah, it's, it's so impactful to know kind of who you are and who
• 1:15:00
  you were created to be, which is the whole point of the whole
• 1:15:02
  podcast. You know, for all of you guys
• 1:15:03
  listening, I, I want to make sure that you guys go check out
• 1:15:06
  go buy, go buys, Joe buys. New new name, New name boy go
• 1:15:12
  by. Buys what?
• 1:15:13
  What? Maybe have you drop some bars
• 1:15:16
  here? No.
• 1:15:18
  No. No, but hey, if you guys are
• 1:15:21
  interested in the in the Portland area and you guys want
• 1:15:24
  a good trainer, go check out the Byes family.
• 1:15:27
  Appreciate that man. It's absolutely fantastic.
• 1:15:30
  They've got some great content. You can check it out.
• 1:15:32
  I'll have all the links here in the in the show notes, but I
• 1:15:35
  want to land on on 2/2 small questions.
• 1:15:37
  They're not small at all, but two questions.
• 1:15:39
  One, I find that there's two lives at 2 points in a, in a, in
• 1:15:43
  a man's life that really changes him.
• 1:15:46
  One, it's when you get married and two, when you get kids.
• 1:15:51
  The first, you know, when you get married, you're like, oh
• 1:15:53
  man, I'm, I'm really selfish. Usually.
• 1:15:56
  Sometimes you don't quite get that.
• 1:15:58
  And then when you get kids, you're like, oh man, I'm really
• 1:16:01
  selfish. I didn't realize how selfish I
• 1:16:02
  was. I learned, I've learned a lot
• 1:16:05
  about having kids about myself. I'm curious, what if?
• 1:16:08
  What if kids taught you about yourself?
• 1:16:11
  Wow, that's good. Let me marinate on that a little
• 1:16:15
  bit. I think the bigot, my uncle
• 1:16:21
  always had an analogy that it's like your heart is running
• 1:16:24
  around outside your body. When I think about having kids,
• 1:16:30
  it does. It gave me a better
• 1:16:32
  understanding of my own parents, for one, because it made me
• 1:16:37
  realize like, man, my mom had a whole life before me.
• 1:16:41
  She lived 36 years without me, but I only remember her, right?
• 1:16:46
  My dad lived 37 years, but I only remember him.
• 1:16:50
  I don't know life without them. Dude, I don't even know where to
• 1:16:53
  begin. But there is a there is a
• 1:16:55
  selfishness to it of when I wake up.
• 1:17:00
  It's like in Ephesians 5 when he talks about, you know, nobody
• 1:17:03
  hated their own flesh. So you love your wife, you know,
• 1:17:07
  as you love yourself, but you know, as Christ loved the church
• 1:17:11
  and died for. But it's it's that it's that
• 1:17:13
  understanding, right, of when you love your neighbor as
• 1:17:16
  yourself. First thing I think about when I
• 1:17:18
  wake up is me generally, right? I'm tired.
• 1:17:21
  I how am I going to do this? I got to get out to Oregon City
• 1:17:24
  today. I got it.
• 1:17:24
  Whatever, right? Yeah.
• 1:17:26
  So I think in those moments, there is that first, but then
• 1:17:30
  from there you're checking in with your wife.
• 1:17:34
  Like when I didn't have kids, marriage, like full
• 1:17:38
  transparency, my wife and I were pretty much married five years
• 1:17:42
  before we were actually married, All right?
• 1:17:44
  We didn't have a biblical understanding of anything.
• 1:17:46
  So it wasn't really like she used to travel for work all the
• 1:17:49
  time. And I'd be like, cool, I'd
• 1:17:50
  either go to work or I'd be home playing Madden or something.
• 1:17:53
  You know, like you had separate lives.
• 1:17:55
  They didn't have separate lives, but you, they were combined and
• 1:17:57
  then. Our son was born and I was like,
• 1:17:59
  yo, why are you travelling all the time?
• 1:18:00
  She's like, I've been travelling all the time, but now our son's
• 1:18:04
  born. Yeah.
• 1:18:05
  So that was the big change for me and I think it started to
• 1:18:10
  make me look at who I am through his eyes.
• 1:18:15
  But then especially once I started to know, once I knew the
• 1:18:17
  Lord, who do I want him to see me as?
• 1:18:20
  Like when you if you ask your kids like, hey, what do dads do
• 1:18:23
  now? The answer I would have gave at
• 1:18:24
  8 is going to be different than my kids based on what I saw in
• 1:18:29
  my environment. When I I ask my daughter, my 5
• 1:18:32
  year old, hey, how do you know dad loves you?
• 1:18:34
  Could you give me lovins? Because you do this, you know,
• 1:18:38
  or what do dads do, right? If you were to ask and do,
• 1:18:42
  there's just an attack on manhood.
• 1:18:43
  Let's just call it what it is, right?
• 1:18:45
  Yeah. Dudes are every guy's dumb, you
• 1:18:49
  know, like every dude in every commercials an idiot.
• 1:18:52
  And so these moments of if you ask my daughter and my son, what
• 1:18:58
  do dads do? I, I, I want, what do I want
• 1:19:03
  that to be? They pray, they do devotions,
• 1:19:09
  they give hugs and kisses to mom.
• 1:19:13
  They play Monopoly with me. They work hard, right?
• 1:19:18
  Like those are the things that I think having kids, especially as
• 1:19:21
  a godly man has done for me because I want how do I want
• 1:19:27
  them? Right?
• 1:19:28
  Like, OK, cool, your dad can lift a small car.
• 1:19:31
  That's fun. You know if we can do that like
• 1:19:33
  if. Dad, mom can.
• 1:19:34
  Mom can lift the bus, but Dad can lift.
• 1:19:36
  Mom can, Mom can lift a tractor. But like, and that's cool, you
• 1:19:41
  know, and I want him to see me strong and things like that.
• 1:19:44
  But at the same time, if my identity is not in Christ first,
• 1:19:48
  I mean, dude, I'm going to get old.
• 1:19:50
  Yeah, Der. And I'm not, you know, like this
• 1:19:53
  going to happen. It's just inevitable.
• 1:19:55
  Or if I mess around and something I get sick or
• 1:19:58
  whatever, if that's who I would need my kids to see me as that's
• 1:20:02
  fleeting. And every day we're losing that.
• 1:20:05
  But right here and man, my my dad knows the Bible.
• 1:20:08
  My dad reads the Bible. My dad loves Jesus.
• 1:20:11
  That's. They're they are like the
• 1:20:13
  ultimate, they're like a microscope, right.
• 1:20:15
  If your wife's a mirror, like there's because they'll start
• 1:20:18
  saying some stuff. You're like, oh, right.
• 1:20:20
  My like, my like my son will say things that I say, like I might
• 1:20:24
  throw in a little too much slang in the house and my wife would
• 1:20:27
  just go, no, you know, I was like, my bad, my bad, you know,
• 1:20:32
  or we watched some dude in a football game.
• 1:20:34
  My son will be like, man, that guy's jacked.
• 1:20:36
  And I'm like, I mean, he is, but you know, so it's like, you got
• 1:20:41
  to, we got to watch out, man, because they're watching right?
• 1:20:44
  And they're watching how we speak and how and they're dude
• 1:20:46
  and their seasons, and I'm not proud of this, but there's
• 1:20:49
  seasons where my wife and I are in a riff and I'm really out of
• 1:20:52
  the pocket. And on one hand, they're seeing
• 1:20:58
  discussions we're having that are hard that I could have
• 1:21:00
  probably prevented that. I mean, you know, my wife might
• 1:21:03
  have cried through or whatever, but at the same time, there's a
• 1:21:08
  repentance that I can talk to my kids about that with to where?
• 1:21:11
  Hey, imagine if mom and dad didn't have these discussions
• 1:21:15
  though. Yeah, right.
• 1:21:16
  So there there's these levels of, hey, dad's human.
• 1:21:19
  I mean, I had a my wife, my, my 5 year old was really excited to
• 1:21:23
  show me this like little costume thing she had last night.
• 1:21:26
  But I was trying to talk to my wife and my son at the same
• 1:21:28
  time. And my daughter kept dad, dad,
• 1:21:30
  dad. And in hindsight would have been
• 1:21:33
  good as me to say, hold on, baby, I'm talking to mom and
• 1:21:36
  Clayton, right? Yeah.
• 1:21:37
  But what I did was I went, hey, give me a second in the face.
• 1:21:43
  And then she cried. And then she didn't want to show
• 1:21:45
  me the thing. And I was like, oh, man.
• 1:21:46
  So I went back in there and talked to her about it.
• 1:21:48
  And I said, hey, Daddy's. I said Daddy, sorry.
• 1:21:50
  You know, like I'm I, you know, Daddy's daddy's sinful too.
• 1:21:54
  And I'm, you know, and and she just looks at me.
• 1:21:56
  We're all sinful, you know, and she.
• 1:21:58
  So it's like those moments of like, there's opportunity there,
• 1:22:01
  but to be vulnerable enough to tell your kids like, hey, dad
• 1:22:05
  messed up. You know, there is a level of
• 1:22:07
  like, yo, I'm just the authority and let's just get this out of
• 1:22:09
  the way. Like you don't like, it's
• 1:22:10
  because I don't want you to eat that right now.
• 1:22:12
  Like, let's just stop. Yeah.
• 1:22:14
  But then there's also levels of, hey, man, Dad messed up.
• 1:22:16
  I'm sorry. So like they're like the
• 1:22:17
  microscope, right? That's been the, I think the
• 1:22:19
  biggest change is the older I get and the more my kids grow as
• 1:22:24
  well, It's like it's similar. Would you say like similar, like
• 1:22:27
  your kids become that microscope for your life in a lot of ways?
• 1:22:30
  There's so many layers of complexity when you have kids.
• 1:22:33
  You know, your kids really are the microscope because they show
• 1:22:36
  you things that you don't you'd normally see, right?
• 1:22:39
  Like your your wife will tell you the big things.
• 1:22:41
  She just tell you everything, but she'll tell you like, hey,
• 1:22:43
  like there's this you need. Well, then we maybe don't notice
• 1:22:46
  that about our wives and our wives about us, right?
• 1:22:48
  But then when we see it in our kids and we're like, where in
• 1:22:51
  the world? Did you learn that acting like
• 1:22:52
  me? You know, especially, especially
• 1:22:54
  as you know, a stay at home dad, you know, like what, who, who,
• 1:22:58
  who did you learn that anger stuff from?
• 1:23:00
  Oh, that's me. Or when you see my son bounce
• 1:23:03
  into a room like the party showed up and everybody goes
• 1:23:07
  Yep, hey man, you left him with me for six years or something
• 1:23:11
  like 8 years like you. What?
• 1:23:12
  What do you expect? What?
• 1:23:13
  Do you want from me, you know? Yeah, well, it's it's true.
• 1:23:16
  And you get the highlights of both.
• 1:23:17
  You get, you get the good times. And you also get the hard times
• 1:23:21
  of when you see the you see the worst traits of yourself and
• 1:23:25
  your kids, but you also see some of the good.
• 1:23:26
  Traits and they hold the door that when you hear a parent say,
• 1:23:30
  hey, like we were at church, right?
• 1:23:32
  And just someone said your kids did so good in the service and
• 1:23:35
  it's like, man, praise those kids.
• 1:23:37
  Yeah, we've had people come up to us go how do you get your
• 1:23:40
  kids to sit still? And Willow and I have actually
• 1:23:44
  argued about this because she's, she's like, oh, you know, we,
• 1:23:48
  they, they've just learned or something like that.
• 1:23:49
  And I'm like, no, the reason, the reason that they sit in
• 1:23:52
  timeout so well is because we've put them in timeout and we're
• 1:23:55
  doing other things and we forget they're in timeout, right?
• 1:23:57
  Right. And they know there's a worse
• 1:23:59
  consequence if they get up. They know when they show up to
• 1:24:01
  church, they're in timeout immediately, dude.
• 1:24:05
  But it's just, it's just it's it's funny, though, because it's
• 1:24:08
  it's those moments, though, yeah, that it's not like, yeah,
• 1:24:11
  we're doing pretty good because that's the second something's
• 1:24:13
  going to go wrong. Because I already know all the
• 1:24:16
  bad traits are from me. All the good traits are God's
• 1:24:18
  grace. Yeah, it's that haughty spirit
• 1:24:20
  that comes in. You're like, that's, that's,
• 1:24:22
  that's not what I I've learned so much from my kids in terms
• 1:24:27
  of, of trying to prioritize what's most important, you know,
• 1:24:31
  like, you know, last night, Yeah, I think it was last night.
• 1:24:37
  My, I was just, my daughter was just sitting in my lap and we
• 1:24:39
  were talking and she's like, Dad, you got, you got some white
• 1:24:42
  hairs coming in. And I was like, I do you know
• 1:24:44
  what the Bible says about white hair wisdom, right?
• 1:24:46
  Yeah. Dad, Dad must be wise in in the
• 1:24:50
  word. And she goes, man, I want to
• 1:24:52
  have, I want to have white hair one day too.
• 1:24:53
  Dad, can I have white hair now? And I'm like, yeah, you got to
• 1:24:56
  get some, you got to get some life.
• 1:24:58
  You got to make some decisions. You got to walk with the Lord,
• 1:25:00
  and the Lord will give. You this how cool is that though
• 1:25:02
  that you have scripture to do that?
• 1:25:04
  Because I feel like, like I talked about manhood earlier, we
• 1:25:07
  also don't really respect wisdom in that way.
• 1:25:10
  Yeah. Because it's such a like live
• 1:25:11
  fast, die young kind of mentality from a Yeah, I regret
• 1:25:16
  talking about that. Yeah.
• 1:25:17
  Like from a cultural perspective, it's just like
• 1:25:21
  there's there's no reverence for the elderly.
• 1:25:25
  But I also feel like there's a biblical reverence that we have
• 1:25:29
  to have, right? Just because I'm old, Like, I
• 1:25:31
  might be an old horrible dude, right.
• 1:25:33
  But if I don't know the Lord, I think that's the stuff where,
• 1:25:38
  especially as a trainer, I don't, I don't shy away from
• 1:25:41
  age. I'm, I'm like, hey, look, I'm, I
• 1:25:43
  acknowledge I'm getting older, Yeah, and things are different.
• 1:25:47
  But I don't want to just accept that as This is why we can't.
• 1:25:51
  Some of the hardest things I have with people are when they
• 1:25:53
  already give me the reason why it can't work.
• 1:25:57
  Yeah. When really it's like, Hey,
• 1:25:59
  maybe you're right, but let's just see like let's let's try
• 1:26:02
  this, this, this, this and this. So it's acknowledging that.
• 1:26:06
  And I think there's such a there's like a reverence to age,
• 1:26:10
  man. You know, like, Lord willing,
• 1:26:12
  dude, I want to be old. It's that stuff where I think
• 1:26:14
  that's I like that. I mean, how many people with
• 1:26:17
  Gray hair do I reach out with on the regular?
• 1:26:19
  Hey, man, can you get coffee, Yo?
• 1:26:21
  And like my Friday Bible study, right?
• 1:26:23
  There's a lot of dudes upwards of 60 in there, right.
• 1:26:26
  I don't think I'm the youngest one anymore, but I'm I'm on the
• 1:26:29
  younger end in there. And there is so much wisdom.
• 1:26:33
  These guys have lived so much life.
• 1:26:35
  When you hear a dude who's in the study who you think is just
• 1:26:38
  got it all together his whole life.
• 1:26:40
  And then he talks about challenges with his grown kids
• 1:26:43
  and walking away from the Lord and dude.
• 1:26:45
  And he said, I wish I would have done family about family DeVos
• 1:26:47
  more. Yeah.
• 1:26:48
  And. You're in that season.
• 1:26:49
  And I'm like, OK, well then I better do that, right?
• 1:26:52
  I think I'm, I feel the same way, but I'm, I'm 20-30 years.
• 1:26:56
  You're, you're younger now. I can implement that.
• 1:26:59
  Yeah. And there, there's so much
• 1:27:00
  wisdom there, man. And so that's what I think we
• 1:27:03
  got to watch out for even in the training space.
• 1:27:06
  And I feel like you would say this in the leadership space
• 1:27:08
  that we got to be careful, you know, the the 25 year old
• 1:27:13
  influencer who's got the idea on how to do whatever show, show me
• 1:27:18
  the 80 year old with the scars. Yeah, that's given you that the
• 1:27:23
  tortoise approach, right? Yeah, Just just keep stacking
• 1:27:26
  another win, man. Just stack another win, stack
• 1:27:28
  another win and, and and let that be because when we start
• 1:27:32
  getting into some of this flash in the pan type stuff, that's
• 1:27:35
  when I feel like trouble happens.
• 1:27:37
  And I think there's so much wisdom in age, right?
• 1:27:41
  One of one of your things that you that you've you brought to
• 1:27:45
  my attention, one of your accolades that you would say is
• 1:27:48
  family DeVos family DeVos are huge for you.
• 1:27:51
  I'm curious what what has been the fruit from doing family
• 1:27:54
  devotionals with your family And maybe it maybe for people that
• 1:27:57
  you know, like are listening and they're like, I don't know what
• 1:28:00
  what's what. Is the family Devo?
• 1:28:01
  What's the family Devo? How?
• 1:28:02
  How would you define that and what has been the fruit of you
• 1:28:05
  doing that with your family? So family Devo now 2021.
• 1:28:12
  Dude, I, I, I don't know what it, I, I wouldn't know what a
• 1:28:15
  devotion is. I don't even know if I knew what
• 1:28:17
  the word meant. What I started to understand and
• 1:28:20
  read things and talk to people about what family DeVos were.
• 1:28:24
  I didn't even know, like reading the Bible was devotional time,
• 1:28:27
  right? Like, I like you're devoting
• 1:28:29
  your time to something, right? Don't you have to buy a book or
• 1:28:31
  something? Yeah, exactly right.
• 1:28:32
  You have to buy a book for the book.
• 1:28:33
  Yeah, to know to help you. Understand the book.
• 1:28:36
  Right. And I think the, the biggest
• 1:28:39
  thing for us right now is it sets a understanding of
• 1:28:47
  something that's important. Cuz look, man, we, we watch
• 1:28:50
  other things on TV, we watch sports, but there's been moments
• 1:28:55
  where I've, we have like a flex and fellowship group that we do
• 1:28:58
  periodically where like young men come through, we train, we
• 1:29:01
  get into the word right. And I left that just looking at
• 1:29:05
  my son going, man, I love the book of John, right.
• 1:29:08
  And I think the messaging we're sending to our kids, right?
• 1:29:14
  And I've had so much help from people to like, hey, don't put
• 1:29:18
  so much on your shoulders if you miss a day.
• 1:29:22
  Cool man. Like maybe go through a couple
• 1:29:25
  verses, maybe go through a whole chapter, right.
• 1:29:28
  So but I think the messaging that it sends, you know what?
• 1:29:33
  What does? OK, yeah, Dad, dad enjoys
• 1:29:36
  football and and especially as a coach to look at certain
• 1:29:41
  athletes and like when injuries pop up and like, there's an
• 1:29:43
  element to that too. That's really helpful.
• 1:29:46
  But I just grew up on sports, man.
• 1:29:47
  I like it. But there's also things you got
• 1:29:49
  to be careful because it was an idol to me, right?
• 1:29:52
  I don't want my son to see me looking at these guys like, yo,
• 1:29:58
  this is that, Oh man, look at this guy like, no, dude, that's
• 1:30:01
  that's freaky and that's cool. But like outside of those lines,
• 1:30:04
  like I probably don't really want you knowing what this guy's
• 1:30:06
  about, right? Just statistically that there's
• 1:30:08
  not solid people in these industries.
• 1:30:10
  Whatever. But I think from a devotional
• 1:30:13
  standpoint, right, Sunday night worship, even even dude church,
• 1:30:18
  like reading that, Hey, we're going to go through Proverbs,
• 1:30:20
  whatever date it is today. Yesterday we went to Proverbs 18
• 1:30:23
  together, right. Cool.
• 1:30:25
  So let's it just sends a message of the importance of where we go
• 1:30:31
  for sustenance, right? That's I think the, the
• 1:30:35
  messaging that our kids are getting.
• 1:30:36
  They may not remember it. They may be my daughter's
• 1:30:39
  rolling around my, you know, like, whatever.
• 1:30:42
  Flopping around on the floor. But we're doing.
• 1:30:44
  It focus we're doing advent right now we're.
• 1:30:46
  Doing it though, right? And then remembering those
• 1:30:48
  things bleed into every other thing because then you start to
• 1:30:51
  remember, Hey, dude, remember what we read and this, this or
• 1:30:55
  this. I mean, I had a night where my
• 1:30:56
  son, he lost one of his Lego figures and he's just kind of
• 1:31:00
  eating at him a little bit. And he just said, dad, what's
• 1:31:04
  that scripture about not being anxious?
• 1:31:07
  I said, cool, man, you know, Matthew 6, but also, I think I
• 1:31:11
  said Colossians, but it was Philippians 4.
• 1:31:14
  And he's like, all right, man, can I read that for a little
• 1:31:16
  bit? I said, yeah, man, you take
• 1:31:17
  like, you know, 10 minutes, let's let's do it.
• 1:31:20
  So it's those moments where we're like planting seeds for
• 1:31:24
  them to know where to go when things hit the fan, right?
• 1:31:28
  Yeah, that's, I love that you bring it back to that because
• 1:31:32
  it's it's really important because in the world that we
• 1:31:35
  live in, we've heard, we've heard a pastor talk about all
• 1:31:38
  the time, you know, whatever's new isn't true and whatever's
• 1:31:42
  true isn't new. And you know, we we go back to,
• 1:31:45
  you know, the world says this and this and this is what we
• 1:31:48
  should be doing. This is how you should run your
• 1:31:49
  business. This is and, and at the end of
• 1:31:51
  the day, you go back and you go whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 1:31:53
  What does the Bible say? What's the Bible say about this?
• 1:31:55
  We got to, we got to put that up against Scripture.
• 1:31:57
  Put up against scripture and and use that as as your compass of
• 1:32:02
  how you navigate your life. How do you navigate discipline
• 1:32:05
  with your kids? How do you navigate loving and
• 1:32:08
  and leading your wife? How do you navigate working,
• 1:32:11
  whether you are the employee or the boss?
• 1:32:13
  Does it where where do you go? And I love the fact that you are
• 1:32:17
  planting seeds in your children to go back to what matters and
• 1:32:20
  what is most important, which is the foundation of all things
• 1:32:25
  that we should be doing in life. And one more question here.
• 1:32:27
  What does it mean to be more than before, right?
• 1:32:29
  Like a lot of a lot of the podcast is focused on identity
• 1:32:33
  of who we become. You know, it's, it's not
• 1:32:35
  necessarily workspace. It's not, it's not based off of
• 1:32:38
  like accolades, which is funny because they have some amazing
• 1:32:41
  people come on. And they have some really great
• 1:32:44
  accolades. And I'll ask them, you know,
• 1:32:45
  what? Do you want me to, what do you
• 1:32:47
  want me to introduce you as like.
• 1:32:49
  And like, probably one or two out of all the people I've ever
• 1:32:53
  had on, they're like, yeah, don't worry about it.
• 1:32:56
  Like, and when I say that, I mean, like the majority of them
• 1:32:58
  are like, yeah, don't worry about it.
• 1:33:00
  Just introduce me as your friend.
• 1:33:01
  And that's, that's all they need to know.
• 1:33:03
  I'm like, you're like the CEO of this huge corporation.
• 1:33:05
  You've, you've won medals. You've like, you know, honorary
• 1:33:09
  distinction, you know, presidential medals.
• 1:33:11
  And I'm like, you don't want me to mention it.
• 1:33:13
  I think, yeah, none of it's important.
• 1:33:15
  None of it matters for you. What does it mean to be more
• 1:33:18
  than before? Man, I just thought of an
• 1:33:20
  acronym more often. Ready every time more I don't
• 1:33:23
  know it just came to my mind, but I think it is like there's a
• 1:33:25
  there's a preparation there, but I also think of I immediately go
• 1:33:30
  to man. Is it first or second
• 1:33:34
  Corinthians 517 where new new creations in Christ?
• 1:33:38
  I think it's first, I think. It's first, I'm in 2nd and.
• 1:33:40
  OK, I think it's, I think it's, I think it's First Corinthians
• 1:33:44
  517. We're going to check that.
• 1:33:47
  Yeah, let's, let's break. Oh, you got the Cambridge too?
• 1:33:50
  I don't use that too often do. I'll let you.
• 1:33:53
  Let's go here. Is this.
• 1:33:55
  Oh, no, not Cambridge, ES. It's a ESV.
• 1:33:57
  OK, let's see here. So we're going to go First
• 1:34:00
  Corinthians here. Come on.
• 1:34:03
  Did did Joe get it right first? By the way, I want you to, I
• 1:34:08
  want you to know right now how quickly he turned.
• 1:34:10
  He knows his Bible. I'm trying, all right.
• 1:34:14
  Five First Corinthians 5. Oh, it's second, dude.
• 1:34:21
  It is second. It is second.
• 1:34:23
  Hold on. Therefore, if anyone is in
• 1:34:25
  Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away.
• 1:34:27
  Behold, the new has come. All right, second Corinthians
• 1:34:30
  517. Come on.
• 1:34:33
  So I I look at that right? And my wife and I talk about
• 1:34:36
  this when you say more than before.
• 1:34:41
  And in a lot of ways, maybe it's technically less than before,
• 1:34:44
  but. Yeah.
• 1:34:47
  We're different, right? We've walked into places and
• 1:34:50
  people that we've been formerly associated with, having not seen
• 1:34:54
  him forever for like a social gathering.
• 1:34:58
  And we, we laugh because it's like we walked into Egypt,
• 1:35:03
  right? And and this is and it wasn't
• 1:35:05
  like a, it wasn't like this like.
• 1:35:07
  That. Pious, I can't believe these
• 1:35:09
  these heathens, but it literally was like I I want I started like
• 1:35:14
  thinking to myself, yo, what happened to y'all?
• 1:35:16
  And I went. Oh, it's not.
• 1:35:18
  What happened to that? This is what we would have been
• 1:35:20
  doing too. Yeah, right.
• 1:35:23
  Like the fellowship around, the things that we were
• 1:35:25
  fellowshipping around before are different now.
• 1:35:29
  So when I look at that, right, there were times when we started
• 1:35:34
  the business and we're like, you know, we don't really want to
• 1:35:36
  like segregate people. So let's just make sure we're
• 1:35:39
  not real vocal about our faith. And then it got to a point where
• 1:35:41
  I was like, yo, man, I want no confusion when you walk into
• 1:35:44
  this place. Yeah, I'm not saying you're not
• 1:35:46
  welcome, but just know what we're about and what we.
• 1:35:49
  Represent again when it comes when you come in.
• 1:35:51
  Exactly so when I I immediately go to 2nd Corinthians 517,
• 1:35:56
  you're we're literally different.
• 1:35:58
  Like this is not like, oh, you make some different decisions
• 1:36:01
  now, like no, I'm different man. My appetites have changed,
• 1:36:04
  right? Or or if it's not the specifics,
• 1:36:08
  it's it's like still enjoying a good meal, but you don't put
• 1:36:12
  that meal on the pedestal. It's like sports for me where
• 1:36:16
  dude, like I make no apologies for really enjoying sport
• 1:36:23
  because of what it did for me. Now, how we go about that and
• 1:36:29
  what kind of pedestal we put that on and understanding that
• 1:36:32
  these, you know, these athletes were watching, the world is
• 1:36:37
  marketing them as gods. Yeah.
• 1:36:40
  But this is a broken individual who we probably just need to
• 1:36:45
  talk to about Jesus, right, who has all the money in the world
• 1:36:49
  right now. And that's potentially where his
• 1:36:53
  hope is. Yeah, I'm not like I'm not
• 1:36:56
  putting that on every athlete or I'm not even saying athletes,
• 1:36:58
  period. I'm saying if you, if you gave
• 1:37:01
  me a Max contract right now, knowing how to find Second
• 1:37:06
  Corinthians 517, I'm going to have some things to fight.
• 1:37:11
  But if you also would have given me what I have now 10 years ago,
• 1:37:15
  right, like I wouldn't have been able to handle it.
• 1:37:17
  So it's the same thing. When we become new, it's like
• 1:37:21
  that constant, like we're immediately justified, but we're
• 1:37:23
  constantly sanctified. Yeah, that's what that means to
• 1:37:26
  me. Yeah.
• 1:37:27
  Is becoming we're new creations man 100%.
• 1:37:33
  It's, it's so good and it's you've, you've talked about the,
• 1:37:37
  you know, putting things up on, on pillars.
• 1:37:39
  And it reminds me of the, the idea, you know, the, the
• 1:37:42
  Israelites were given things as monuments like, hey, here's
• 1:37:46
  here's Moses staff, keep it, put it, put it in and, and what do
• 1:37:51
  they start doing? They start worshipping it.
• 1:37:53
  And there's there's a difference between a monument and there's a
• 1:37:57
  difference between an idol. You, you can't take your
• 1:38:00
  monuments and start making them idols.
• 1:38:01
  Monuments are. Yeah, meant to look back to go
• 1:38:04
  look what the stones in the Jordan, right?
• 1:38:06
  Yeah, they're meant to be able to look back and go, hey, look
• 1:38:09
  what God did. Look at all these great things.
• 1:38:11
  They it's when they forgot those things and they or they started
• 1:38:14
  idolizing those things. That's when they started to go
• 1:38:17
  downhill. Right.
• 1:38:17
  Was that like they did that with the bronze serpent, right?
• 1:38:20
  Yeah. Started worshipping the bronze
• 1:38:21
  serpent. You know, it's, it's, it's funny
• 1:38:24
  because we're, we're all like that in, in terms of we're
• 1:38:26
  always looking for something to replace God.
• 1:38:30
  We just want to put something else in the place of God.
• 1:38:33
  And it's, it's always stepping back down and going to, no,
• 1:38:36
  we're not, we're not going to do this.
• 1:38:37
  We want to put God in his place. And it's not like we're putting
• 1:38:39
  God in his place. We're recognizing where God is,
• 1:38:43
  which is really powerful, powerful.
• 1:38:45
  And I really, I really love how you bring that all together.
• 1:38:48
  And it's like the analogy too, though, of, you know, Brett
• 1:38:54
  talks about this, our pastor, but I've heard this in other
• 1:38:58
  places in different ways. Like we look at a lot of times
• 1:39:02
  culture looks at Jesus as a browser to be open, not the
• 1:39:08
  entire like computer. Yeah, right.
• 1:39:11
  Like, all right, so this over here is my Jesus time.
• 1:39:14
  No, dude, every thought captive. I need to run every single
• 1:39:19
  thought through Christ in a way, right.
• 1:39:24
  So everything that I do needs to coincide with that.
• 1:39:28
  Like I'm not a Christian at church and then something else
• 1:39:31
  when I watch football, right? Like that I, I need, I'm a godly
• 1:39:35
  man everywhere. Now, I may represent that better
• 1:39:38
  in certain places or depending on the day or whatever, but
• 1:39:43
  that's how I have to view that, right?
• 1:39:45
  Yeah. And so if that is my mentality
• 1:39:51
  and that is the essence of who I am, because if I'm changed,
• 1:39:55
  right. Ezekiel 3626 new heart of heart
• 1:39:59
  of flesh, take another heart of stone value of dry bones.
• 1:40:03
  Like I'm different. Yeah.
• 1:40:05
  So I'm, I'm new. I'm a new creation in everything
• 1:40:09
  that I do. So when people try to make the,
• 1:40:12
  you know, like, yeah, you're a Christian everything.
• 1:40:15
  I'm a Christian business owner. I'm a Christian father.
• 1:40:19
  Right. I'm, I'm, I'm representing, we
• 1:40:21
  are ambassadors, right? Yeah.
• 1:40:23
  I'm representing Christ everywhere I go.
• 1:40:25
  And sometimes I represent him better than than other times,
• 1:40:28
  right? Yeah.
• 1:40:29
  I love it. It's so good.
• 1:40:31
  Joe, thank you so much for coming.
• 1:40:33
  In. Spending some time with me for
• 1:40:35
  all of you guys listening, make sure you go check out all of
• 1:40:37
  Joe's social media. And hey, if you're in the area
• 1:40:40
  and you want to get some good fitness, fitness and faith and
• 1:40:44
  you want to get swole or maybe maybe you just want to be able
• 1:40:47
  to roll around with your kids and maybe not have some
• 1:40:50
  discomfort pain. Yeah, take this out.
• 1:40:52
  He's he's an awesome person. Again, I haven't looked at this
• 1:40:55
  camera yet. Oh my goodness, I'm breaking
• 1:41:00
  stuff all right. Breaking stuff, no, but hey,
• 1:41:04
  it's so good to have you on for all of you guys.
• 1:41:06
  Until next time, remember to be more, see more, and experience
• 1:41:08
  more than before.