Latest / Divas That Care Network / From Cancer to Clean Living: One Mother's Entrepreneurial Journey

Transcript

From Cancer to Clean Living: One Mother's Entrepreneurial Journey · Divas That Care Network

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: One just has to pick up a magazine or turn on a television to see that, as women, we are bombarded daily with media images of female physical perfection, setting up the most unrealistic of expectations as to how we should look.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: No wonder female body confidence is falling while incidents of eating disorders are on the rise.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: What's most alarming is the way this affects young girls.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: A reduced sense of self-worth can create anxiety, stress, even depression, causing relationship issues, while potentially impairing academic and job performance.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: In direct contrast, confidence in Bloom is designed to reinforce and reassure every woman who has ever felt inadequate, unworthy or tossed aside because of how she looks, that no matter her age, shape or background, you matter.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: You are enough.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Now I, tina Spoletini, a woman of substance, insist women deserve to be happy, confident, successful and totally in love with themselves in their own bodies, just the way they are.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Through an ongoing series of intriguing conversations with women from all walks of life, who are all extraordinary in their own right, we will embark upon a journey of ultimate self-acceptance and empowerment.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Together, we'll share stories, laugh, learn, maybe even shed a few tears.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: No-transcript.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Today, gwen Gardner is my guest.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Gwen Gardner is an absolute force of resilience and heart.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: She's the chief chick founder and designer behind Simply Chicking Clothing, a brand born from a week that changed everything A breast cancer diagnosis and the discovery she was pregnant all in the same week.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: What followed was a radical lifestyle shift, a commitment to clean living and the creation of a company that blends humor, heart and health-conscious values into adorable, organic baby clothes.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: We're diving into Gwen's story of healing entrepreneurship and what it really means to live with intention for yourself, your family and the future.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Let's get into it All right.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Welcome, gwen.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: How are you today?
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Great?
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: So lovely to be here, Tina.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's so nice to have you here.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I want to start at the beginning.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: You've had an incredibly life-changing week.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Can you walk us through how your diagnosis and pregnancy intersected and what that was like for you?
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: So over 20 years ago now, I decided to move out from my boyfriend, but I wasn't feeling well.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Decided to move out from my boyfriend, but I wasn't feeling well.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: And so on Monday I went to the doctor and the next day I found out that I was pregnant, but then the next day I found out that I had breast cancer.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: So yeah, so it was.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: It was.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: It was quite a week.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: So the same doctor, same appointment, found two different things.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: So I had had like a mammogram the week before with a different doctor and I had gotten the call back to go in basically on a on a Wednesday.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: So I went to my regular doctor on Monday Obviously they do tests and the next day I found out I was pregnant.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: But then I was already on a call back from the previous week because they didn't like how it looked.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: So that's when I went in like oh.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: So 20 years ago you were young.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: So 20 years ago you were young.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: So I was it was 20 years ago Actually like more closer to 21.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Because my daughter just turned 20.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: That's how I know how long I've been in business.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: So yeah, so that was.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: That was quite a while ago, and that's when I started looking at how I was living, what I was eating, what I was washing my clothes with, because you know, when you get a diagnosis like that, you're like oh, what can I do you?
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: know, yeah, and the thing is, when we like what affects our body, is absolutely everything right, like all the five major senses right, what we're listening to, what we're eating, what we're touching, what we're seeing, all of it like it's all.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: So I can see.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't you know.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Like, when you said that you had to change your laundry soap, I was like, well, it's only laundry soap, but the reality is right, everything that touches our body in any way, create, can create disease.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: If we're not you know, I don't know, I don't know what the word is if we're not like, if we're not filtering it in some way right, and I'm sure you learned that.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it, everything you know, really impacts your health, like what, everything that's coming into your environment basically.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: And so that's when I started kind of looking at organic in all ways possible.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: And back then it was a little more difficult, you know, you had kind of the organic food movement and so that was that was easier.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: But in every other area it really was you kind of had to dig.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: And so I was involved with another women's group and she had breast cancer and she had developed lotions and things that you, you know can put on your skin.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: So she and she said she's like, well, you realize, stuff that gets you know on your body can be absorbed in like under 20 seconds.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: So I started thinking about what was I putting on my skin?
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: What was I washing my clothes with, what was I washing my dishes with?
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: But I have a sense of humor and while I'm growing this child and dealing with the cancer, I thought, well, I should start a business because I'm going to have so much time like nursing this child.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Because I really did think positively when I got that diagnosis.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I said there is no way that I'm going to die while I'm creating life.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: It's just not going to happen.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: So, I just put on a super positive mindset and move forward in that way.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: So I started then, because I was a teacher, I started researching cotton and textiles and what I could print my funny little sayings on textiles and what I could print my funny little sayings on.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: And that's when I found out the dirty secret of regular conventional cotton is one of the most polluting crops in the world.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: And I thought because, because of the insecticides and pesticides that are sprayed on the regular cotton crop to get rid of all those insects and bull weevils and all of that, you know, obviously gets into our water and I was like, oh, so we're actually drinking this stuff and people who live close to those farms or who farm them definitely have higher cancer rates and their skin, they have skin issues.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: So I sought out organic cotton and back then it was incredibly difficult to find, Of course I found a California company because I just feel like they're on the forefront of a lot.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: It's a big state and they've been organic for a long time.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: So I found a California company and started using their blanks to print with my eco-friendly ink, basically, and then I no longer use that company but I use a company out of New York and then I print here in Rhode Island soup.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: I feel it's a super clean product.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I don't compromise.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: My product is more expensive but it lasts like I have people because I've been around for a long time.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: I love the story of a dad who walked up with his 13 year old.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: He pointed at a particular design and said, oh my gosh, he he's like.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: You realize, all of our children have worn that and we're keeping it for our grandchildren oh my goodness, because they last.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: They don't fall apart, so they're actually.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Initially they're more expensive, but they're more economical in the long run.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: In the long run, because they're not gonna really end up in a landfill, right, right, exactly, and and yeah, I love.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I love that because I mean, well, I had twins, boy, girl, twins and you know I wasn't sure if I was gonna have more.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: I did save a lot of my clothes, right.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: So you know, I did have another one on a boy, so I saved all the boy clothes and it got rid of all the girl clothes you know after, but I saved them I.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: They're five years apart.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I saved all those clothes for five years.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: It was crazy, but you know, I can, I can relate with that.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: You know, like, who doesn't want to buy one shirt and let it pass down, you know?
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Or five kids, right, and then, and I mean even generations, I mean who doesn't want that?
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: I love, yeah, and, and most of most of my designs are gender neutral, so it doesn't matter like a boy can wear them, a girl can wear them, a human can wear them yeah, that's even better.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: That's even better now.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: I know I've seen a few of your shirts.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Like on Instagram I follow you and I see it like I've seen your a few of your designs.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Is there a chick, like a little baby chick on all of your, your outfits?
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: um, so I, one of my most popular designs, is actually a little chick coming out of an egg and it's just hatched.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: So that's a really popular one for boys or girls.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: I have a lobster and it says local catch.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: It's in red.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Of course it could be boy girl.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I have a little miniature golfer symbol, of course boy girl.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I have a couple of poems which are very popular, and then my brand is on the inside of the tag, of course, and that's my little, my little chick, but there are a variety of different designs on the front.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: But yes, I do have a little chick coming out of an egg and I love that.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that cute, super cute now um, I want to talk a little bit more about you know, like the organic side of it and that the healthy side of it.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Um, when now you we were talking kind of a little bit of you know everything that touches our body, what were the some of the biggest surprises I mean you mentioned about how you know cotton is one of the highest, I'm gonna say I'm gonna use the word poisoned, because I don't remember your exact term um, what, what other surprises did you come across when you were doing all your research?
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Changes that made that you had to make in your everyday life?
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Um, yeah.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: So I mean, if you just start thinking about what gets into our water because we're, you know it's groundwater and we're, we're eventually, you know, drinking that that's why so many people filter their water so what was I washing my skin with?
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: First of all, that's going to go onto my skin.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: So I was looking for, you know, natural soaps, because that, of course, is going to go onto my body.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Of course, a little bit will be absorbed, it's going to run into the water and then out into the world, and so eventually, you know we're drinking it essentially.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: And then what am I washing my clothes with?
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Because the clothes are rinsed and that goes into the water and, you know, out into the world.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: But also it's on the clothes.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: So I'm then putting those clothes on my body and they're sitting there like all day and sweating, and so where, where is that going?
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: So it was, it was just thinking about all of the products that I am ingesting or going on to my skin or my child's skin.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: You know, obviously I, I think a lot of moms and dads think about, think, think about the world differently when they have a child.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: They're like, oh, my gosh, all of a sudden like, oh, I probably need to pay attention to X, y, z.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: And we and and also too, we start to like realize how the little things that we do in our are in our life affects the little people.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Right, like I can agree with you.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I remember my mom saying when you have a child, you never see the world the same.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: And I thought what is she talking about?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Like the world doesn't change, right.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: But it's not that the world changes, it's the way you see it changes, right.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: You start looking at you know who's looking out for the benefit of my baby, right, who's looking out for you know what I'm feeding my baby?
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Because really nobody cares except for one that comes to their own world, right.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: And so I realized that, yeah, you see the world differently.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: You start to notice, you know I don't want to say the good and the bad, but you start to pick at little things and other people because they're not aware of what you are aware of.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: So I can relate to that again.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: So when you had to do all like, when you were going through all of this I mean you're, you're dealing with cancer and I mean we all know that that nobody, nobody likes to talk about that word you had to make a many mindset shifts right, like your mind had to make you to make some really big changes in your internal world in order for you to change your external world.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: What was that like for you?
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: So I started thinking about you know how to make myself better and how to continue being healthy, because obviously the cancer was excised and at that time my doctor was kind of on the forefront and he took an approach of we're going to monitor this.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: So I went in for MRIs very, very frequently, very frequently.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: But I also read the book Crazy Sexy Cancer by Chris Carr, as I recall and she was actually stage four, she's still around and has become a huge influencer in this arena, in this arena.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: So I started making my own green juice.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: I would go to the grocery store and get the kale and the cucumbers and all of the fruit and I had a green juice like three times a day and I shifted more of my eating to more veggies and fruits and my body just kind of craved that more and moved away from other protein sources, you know, moved into more of a vegetarian arena and really kicked up the green juice Because there's so many good things in vegetables and fruits.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: So I really focused on doing that on a daily basis and that in itself, if you've ever been a home juicer, is incredibly intensive.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: You go to the grocery store, pick the best fruits and vegetables, sit there like wash them all, juice them all, bottle them, and then you've got to turn around and do it in a couple more days.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: So it does take.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: It does take a lot of time, but you know it didn't come back.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: You know, and you like to think that you had some.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: You know very good doctor and you know I was monitored and the cancer was excised.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: But you know you still want to feel like you have agency.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah, absolutely.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: And I mean, when you take on your health on your own right, without relying on on, you know, do this for me, do that for me.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: When you do it on your own, like there's, there's a lot to be said about that, right, I know I'm not a juicer.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: I actually would rather eat my calories than drink my calories, you know.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: But when it comes to fruits and vegetables, that's not on the top of my list.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: So I can.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: I can see why people juice list, so I can, I can see why people juice.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Right, because you can get a lot more veggies and fruit in a, you know, in a glass than you can, you know, by cooking them and sitting and eating them.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, I could see that.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think I could.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I don't see myself as a juicer ever, right, but at the same time, like, I see the benefits of it.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Now, many women listening today, gwen, they may be in like a season of transition or reinvention.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Can you help maybe mention to us, you know, what helped you stay grounded and focused during your personal transformation?
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Because this was, this was huge, right, I mean, you went from being a teacher to now being, you know, a pregnant cancer patient changing into a new career.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: So you know everybody says, oh, family and friends.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: But that is extremely true.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: I also, because I was going to be a single mom, I really kind of focused on finding a tribe and I, when I started doing you know little markets with my shirts, I always like say hello to the booth next to me, to the booth on all sides, and you know, see if, if, if we're going to help each other that day, like I need to go to the bathroom when you watch my booth.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: But it's, it's about connecting with, finding ways to connect with other people.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: So I join groups.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: I love being around other people, even though I'm actually a very shy person.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: I was so shy growing up that some teachers were concerned until one teacher told my parents Gwen is just quiet, and from a very early age, I don't know, for some reason, that kind of gave me a little bit of confidence, I think, and I was like, oh, I'm just quiet, but I'm not a lost cause.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: So I literally started like joining groups and I carried that on into my adult world.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: I'm probably part of a well over 10 networking groups, Wow.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: And that's how I did stay grounded and it's how I continue to stay grounded Because, though we like to think that we can sit behind a computer and kind of get all the answers through AI or Google, there's nothing like sitting down with a cup of coffee, with a group of friends, or just one friend, to say, hey, I'm having this issue.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: To say, hey, I'm having this issue, what do you think?
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: Or not even asking questions, just hanging out, you know, having coffee, tea, having a glass of wine.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: I agree, it fills my heart when I sit with my girlfriends, right, even if we're not really talking about anything specific, right, you're just hanging out right.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: It just makes you feel more together, I guess, and whole right.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: I love that I'm a big people person.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: I love to sit and visit and I love how you said you know you were a shy kid, but as soon as your teacher said that Gwen is just quiet, that gave you more confidence and it goes to like, I mean, it goes to show that when we label ourselves right, we, once we're labeled, we believe that that's what we are and that's what we go with.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Right, I'm shy, but really the reality is what is shy?
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: I just don't feel like talking right now.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: I know there are people that are shy, that you know.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: They like my.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Remember my daughter she was.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: It was terrible, she would hide behind me.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: She, you know, she would hide her face.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: She didn't want anyone to notice her, right, and and I used to think, well, how is she like this?
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I am so not like that, right, and I I didn't even know how to handle it.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: But now, I mean, she's quiet and she is afraid of crowds, but she's not shy anymore.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: And she is afraid of crowds, but she's not shy anymore, right, and it's because I never allowed that shy label to really sink in, right.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, you can be quiet, you can be afraid of crowds, I mean there's nothing wrong with that, but that doesn't make you shy, right.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: And so I think that helped her and, as with you, that just helped her realize that there's, you know, so many different qualities that we all carry, that we can.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: You know, sometimes it's a little bit more comfortable in this quality and sometimes it's more comfortable in that quality.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: So I really like that yeah, I think you're right.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: You know, people like um hide sometimes hide behind labels, but then when they are labeled they're like oh, this is my lot, but it's not you know, and it doesn't have to be right Like we can be who we want to be today.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we're not a tree.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: We don't have roots Way, way, way down to the core.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: We we can pick up and change in the next moment.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah exactly Exactly so.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Now, gwen, let's talk about cotton.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: So most of us don't really think twice about fabric.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: What did you learn that shocked you?
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I mean other than the, you know the growing of it, and the regular cotton was the most you know polluted.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, what did you learn that shocked you and how did it influence your, like your brand's mission?
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: So when I was doing my research, I found out that more than seven of the most carcinogenic chemicals known to humankind were sprayed on the regular conventional cotton crop, and some of those agents were created during as nerve agents for the for the world wars.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: So I was like, oh my gosh, we've manufactured this and now we think it's because it does kill, so let's, so let's spray it on these crops to kill the bull weevils and the net, because cotton regular cotton it's's it's not easy to grow because of the pests.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: So I understand, you know, I think a lot of people have good intentions when they start like oh my gosh, this is really working.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: But when you really dig into it you're like, oh my goodness, like so.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: Then I thought, well, this is, this is getting into our water.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Like we all know that cancer has grown exponentially since then.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Right, wow, wow.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so so that that was really the most surprising thing.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: So I thought, okay, I am going to seek out an organic option.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: And in the beginning it was an education process when I went to large shows small shows because my label says organic cotton, got certified, meaning global organic trade, certified cotton.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Certified meaning global organic trade, certified cotton.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: Um, and I, because I didn't want to contribute, you know, I wanted to do a fun product, um, but I didn't want to contribute to the messiness right, right, well, thank you for that, right, because you know I mean clearly.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: I mean there's a lot to be done that you've done already.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Right, there's a lot more that needs to be done because we're hearing more and more that it's you know, it's.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: It's crazy, like I saw a program not too long ago about the, the, you know, the clothes that are being donated to charity and and to you know, across the world, and the piles of garbage clothes left on, like the seashores is.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: I was like what, what is all that like?
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: How are we not finding use for the clothes that we have?
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: right, like it just seemed ridiculous yeah, ridiculous, yeah, yeah, so it was.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: That was really eye opening and so I just thought, okay, my mission is going to kind of spread the organic message.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: And the interesting thing is, I feel like I kind of was a little bit of a disruptor, because you know, a lot of things start small.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: But look at us now, like major companies are, have an organic option right in fact, I had like a super quick sort of funny story.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: I was a really long time ago at a, at a little local market, and there was a big clothing company in that area and I I'm not going to say which company it was, but he came up and he was so interested in organic cotton, like what was this, what was going on, yada, yada.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Like what was this, what was going on, yada yada two years later, they had an organic section of their clothing.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's how we change the world, right?
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: That's how we change the world one person at a time, and we start with ourselves and then we spread our love, right?
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I?
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: That's great.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: You went from cancer patient to new mom, to entrepreneur.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: What were the biggest hurdles mentally, emotionally and practically when starting your business?
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: So mentally, I you know, when you first have a child, like pre pre child, you think you're going to have time.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I always laugh when I hear these new moms.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: Post you run into.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: No, you really don't have that time and and sleep.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: I remember that calling my brother, and this was very, very early on, this was within the first year and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so tired and I was like, when does this stop?
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: He laughed and he's like I think 18.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Life is never the same.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: Right Like life is never the same.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: No, so so mentally it was getting used to.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: Okay, where am I literally going to?
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Time block, where can I work on my business?
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: And then who is going to help me?
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: So you start looking around because you've started developing this little tribe and what two friends and I did was we and also like it's it's cashflow.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: I was a single mom and, you know, still trying to make things work.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: I didn't have, you know, money to to put my kid in like daycare, and first of all, before the age of three, there aren't, there aren't a lot of options anyway.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: And so I got together with a couple of my friends and so Monday one friend took the kids until one o'clock, so all morning until one o'clock.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Next day someone else did that, and then the next day was my turn.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: So I had, I had, a decent amount of time to work on my business, to go to meetings, whatever I needed to do, and sleep sometimes.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: So that that helped.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: And then and then it was just starting locally, like I think sometimes people think you have to, like you know, quit your day job and like start your business and go full force, and I think you kind of have to a little bit.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: And I did have another part-time job as well.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: You have to do that while you kind of grow your business.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Another time suck which people don't realize.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: And another friend said to me a couple of years ago she's like how do you get, how do you get so much done, gwen?
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: I was like I really don't watch TV and and they're like oh huh and so like if you really sit down and now I think it's more your cell phone, but if you really sit down and like track, like how much time is taken from whatever the TV or the fact that you're on your phone scrolling, that's a big time suck.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: And what could you be doing?
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: Printing, going to a meeting connecting printing.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Going to a meeting connecting, working on designs, whatever.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: So it's really kind of taking a look around and taking stock in what you do have and then figuring out how you're going to jump to the next level with the resources that you do have.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: And a lot of people have a lot of resources they don't even realize they have, Like your friends, if they can watch your kid.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: That's a resource and obviously you're going to do the same, right, yeah?
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: And sometimes it's even like your friends are running out getting groceries, you know, like you could very easily say, hey, do you mind picking up milk, eggs, and you know, a loaf of bread for me, or whatever that might be.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, yeah, I mean that's what we have friends for, right?
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: You know you give and take, right.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: It's not always just about you know, let me listen to you.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's I need you to do me a favor.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: So that's good.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: It's great that you found yourself that, that you know group of friends that you could rely on.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Like that.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: I remember my, you know, when my kids were little.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, there were days.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, I had twins.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: There were days where I'm like you know, I never missed a shower, though I remember mom saying to me if you're, if you have a shower in a day, you're having a good day.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: I didn't miss a shower, so I mean it was pretty good.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: They were really good babies too.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Really, I can't complain, they were awesome babies.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: But I remember that, oh my God, I have to get supper on the table and I got two crying babies here, right, like I remember those days.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: And when you're alone you don't have that option, right, you can't just say you know, here, take my kid, right.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, it's great that you found that group.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, it's great that you found that group.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's also like doing things like we used to think that oh, the child like almost couldn't be seen, like you had to like whatever, shut them away or find someone to take care of them.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: I would take my child to my local farmer's markets.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: I had like some sort of contraption.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: I would go in the back, I would nurse her because I did nurse her for a very long time I would nurse her, put her down in the little crib that I had, then go deal with the client.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: Well, that's how to do it right.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, you got to do what you got to do.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: I know I took the kid to work, but it was a little unconventional because a lot of my work was actually at local farmers markets, artisans markets, but I did.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: But she was also a little bit of an advertisement for you.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: I'm sure, I'm sure she was wearing your product.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, totally yeah.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: So there you go.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's part of the job.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely Right she just wasn't making any money.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: And my friend a couple of weekends ago.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: She, she has a new baby, he's under um a year and she is doing the same thing Um, I do.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: And she brought her child, but she also brought a, like a nanny, and halfway through the day she's like because it's expensive if you're doing that too.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: And she's like how did Gwen, how did you do this?
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Like, is it okay if?
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: If I bring him and it's just me and I'm working and I said I did it, just set up the little carriage.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: Exactly, I know.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: If your kid is colicky and you can't, you know, provide to your clients, then that's different.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: But if he's just a normal baby, why not?
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Right, and quite honestly, like when I'm shopping and I see little babies.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Of course I'm old now, my kids are big.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Right, I love seeing little babies, right, it's like you know, look how sweet, you know that's a sale right there.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what advice would you give women who are being called to do something bold or meaningful, but are also feeling scared and uncertain?
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: First of all, don't quit your day job or your night or your night job, whatever it is, I still.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: It's going to be hard, you know what it's not easy, but you have to pull up your you know your big girl panties and you's going to be hard.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: You know what it's not easy, but you have to pull up your you know your big girl panties and you're going to have to work and you're going to be tired, but you're going to find a way.
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: You just have to be organized, you have to find your tribe, you have to ask for help and you're going to just have to find the time.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: I'm a big proponent of you know the five o'clock club, but I'm more of a six o'clock club.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: Um, from six to nine I can get mountains of stuff done because no one expects anything of you before nine o'clock and you do the math, that's 21 hours during the week before really anyone's really expecting anything of you.
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: Your kids are probably sleeping and obviously if you're like more of a night owl, then from nine to midnight, because no one's expecting anything from you after that time of night, and you multiply that out and, as an entrepreneur, weekends count.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: So that's 21 hours that you can get a lot done six to nine in the morning or nine to 12 at midnight.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: That is one of my biggest advice pieces Turn off your phone, Just get done what you need to get done.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: Make lists.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: I make a list the night before.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: I have a little calendar and I, on Sunday night, I basically write out my week of my exact appointments.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: So I am reminded, and then I make a list the night before of what I really need to get done like three top things and you could probably get those done between six and nine in the morning and then the rest of the day.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: You know you have your meetings or you're doing what you're what I'm doing, but um, but yeah, I make lists.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: I love that, I absolutely love that.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: I love.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: First of all, being organized is the number one thing.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Right, you can get so much more done when you have your days planned out right.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: And then, like you said, nobody's gonna expect anything from you between six and nine although after this podcast they might be starting to call you or at eight, but let's, let's give Gwen some time right from six to nine, or, like I'm, I'm not a, I'm not a night timer, I'd rather get up early, although I struggle getting up early lately.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: You know that nine to twelve time, that's my time.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: That night, like you know, I want to be in bed by ten, so you know I'm not working until midnight.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: That's not going to happen.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: But I love that.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: I love how you, you know you plan that all out and you know, like, your tribe is there to help you.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: Right, you can rely on that tribe, right, whether it's, you know, just answer the phone for me, even right, like, if my phone rings, do you mind just answering it?
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, and that's another thing that I was going to mention you had said that you didn't watch TV, and now it's our phones that are keeping us distracted and occupied.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: My phone tells me I think it's every Sunday morning how much screen time I had over the week.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: And I am, every single Monday, like totally appalled at that number, because I'm like consciously trying to, like you know, be on my phone less, but that number doesn't change.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I doing wrong?
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: Right, I mean, I do play games on my phone, so I know that that's a lot of it, but I really aim to like spend um, what's the word I'm looking for, like specific time on my phone.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: Right, this is for this job, so I need to be on my phone, otherwise I don't want to be on my phone all the time.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: It's not good for my eyes, right.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: It's not good for my eyes, right.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: It's not good for my distraction, right.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: And so I liked how you said that.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Right, like, I don't watch TV, so it's almost one of those.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: You have to pick your battle, right, you have to pick which one you're going to give into.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: And you know, tv obviously is one of those things where you're like, no, I'm not, I'm not going there, right, you might not be in touch with the rest of the world.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how you find out what's going on in the world.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: I personally don't listen to the news anymore, I just watch.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: Really, I watch crap on TV.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: I'm you know I waste my time doing that.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: And hockey, I love hockey, so I do watch hockey.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: I love hockey too.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: My thing is baseball, but I do a lot of driving, so I listen to podcasts.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Ah, so that's how you are, like you learn, because there's always learning to do.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: But podcasts podcasts are great.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, look at us.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: I mean we're having this conversation, right.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: But there's also podcasts that are, you know, for learning purposes, right, like let's learn how to do this Right.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: And I mean Mel Robbins is amazing.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: She has amazing guests on her her podcast.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: There's so much to learn from people like that and I love it.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you can.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: You can get, you can go down a hole with podcasts, but there's there's a few that I really try to pay attention to.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I always listen to Rich Habits podcast.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: So once you get that money from your job or your entrepreneurial thing, like, what do you do with it?
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: And so I just love listening to them.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: They have some really savvy advice.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: I love Trevor Noah what Now?
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: Because he really kind of synthesizes something in the zeitgeist, so once a week, you know, so we can really distill what's going on, and he just has a really intelligent conversations with you know Scott Galloway, or like just really, really interesting people.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: So, I catch up by listening to podcasts.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, cause I drive a lot to Boston.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when you spend a lot of time in the car, you got to fill your time, you know, and you might as well do it with learning, right.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure you have your, your playlist, right.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: I have a thing when I'm like, if I'm working but I have to be on the road, I listen to learning on the way to wherever I'm going, and then when my day is done and I'm now going home because my day is done, that's when I put my music in Right, because then I'm like now I can unwind, right, but going there, I need to be filled with, you know, as much information as I can, right, and so I call it my learning time.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I tried to teach that to my kids, but it didn't work.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: I have one more question what does confidence in bloom mean to you personally, and how has confidence played a role in your journey as a mother, a survivor and a business owner?
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: So I think confidence actually plays parallel to vulnerability, in that knowing that really every other human is having similar struggles and just knowing that kind of humans around the world, humans in my community, are having these similar struggles, gives me the confidence like, oh my gosh, I, I am, I am this old, that person is that old, you know that old they.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: They've had the confidence to to get to that point in their in their journey, in their life and to just keep going.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Confidence is is is continuing to just keep keep going because it is a roller coaster, but just know that it is a roller coaster, and take stock and in the good times, because rain is kind of fall, but just know that you are going to get through it.
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: You know we, we all get through it.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know we all get through it.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah Well, and I don't know if you remember, but I remember, like on Zoom, especially during COVID, the pandemic, when we were not to be out in public and be visiting with our people, and you know, we would get on a Zoom call and we would complain about how I really wish we could go out.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: I'd rather be sitting in a restaurant or, you know, sitting in a cafe chatting with you, but at the end of that conversation we all would always say this too shall end Right.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: We all know that.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: You know it's going to come to an end at some point, some way, right, and we have to look forward to what's on the other side of that.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you and you and you have agency, you, you, you do have agency in what you choose to do from one minute to the next, and it's okay.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: It's okay If you're having a bad day, it's okay, you know you don't have to be happy all the time.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: It's okay if you're having a bad day, it's okay, you know you don't have to be happy all the time.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: It's okay to have a bad day.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: But think about okay, what could I do to move this in a different direction?
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: And maybe this bad day, or whatever these thoughts are, lead me to another solution, another pathway, something else to do.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: It informs us.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: Now, if you could send one message to every woman listening today, what would it be?
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: Just keep going and know that a lot of people have your back, even though you don't realize that you can ask for help.
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: You can ask help from a stranger you know at the market.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: Could you hold my bag while I put my, while I, while I pick up my child?
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: You know your friend.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: Hey, could you like grab some extra cereal, whatever?
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just ask.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: Ask for help because people really want to help.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: They really do.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: They really do.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: It's so true, right, right.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for that.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: Uh, I want to say thank you for joining me today.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: I'm so proud that you have come.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: I feel proud of you for coming through life the way you have and I don't know, I feel like you have.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been a struggle.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: You're a single mom, you know, and you, you struggled with your health and you made it work and I love that.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: I love that, you know.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: It's just.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: It goes to show that where there's a will, there's a way.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and your daughter must be so proud, and you said she's 20.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: So she might not see it that way just yet.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: She, she is.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: I have to say she is pretty amazing, um, and the apple does not fall far from the tree.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: She's, um going to be studying abroad in the fall, but she knows she wants to make, you know, more money, so literally she is juggling five jobs wow, wow, good, good for her, although she has to leave those jobs out for those other people that don't have work.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: She's nannying, she's coaching tennis, she's working for me, she's doing inventory sheets and Pinterest for another company, she's social media for another one, excel spreadsheets for another.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: So yeah, she's pulling together a bunch of different stuff.
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: Well, she's young, right, and now's the time to work, work, work, because once she starts, a family time is limited, as you know, right?
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, awesome, I love this.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining me today thank you confidence in bloom is a celebration of self-love, a confirmation that, even though you may not look like a screen star or a supermodel they don't even look like that you are an amazing, desirable, brilliant, gorgeous, talented woman.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: We offer unconditional love to our partners, our children, our extended family, even our pets.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: It's high time we got out of our own way and learned to unconditionally love ourselves In full bloom.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: Styling and coaching offers an online program combined with one-on-one coaching in confidence building, personal branding and creating your signature fashion look.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Chic definitely does come in every shape.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: So if you want something to believe, in start with yourself.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: If you'd like to be a guest here on confidence in bloom, contact me through instagram at info bloom styling, by email tina at infoobloomstylingcom, or through the Divas that Care website.