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Letting Go for Fulfillment: Transforming Parenting with Embracing Authenticity and Intentions for the New Year · The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids

• 0:00
  Sam: I changed everything about my life this year and I feel like this was the first year that I was really surrendered with it all and just leaning into what is meant to be instead of what I was trying to force myself into.
• 0:14
  Sam: In previous years I was always so rigid with my goals, but this year I was like you know what?
• 0:21
  Sam: I have so much going on?
• 0:22
  Sam: I had a baby a year ago year.
• 0:25
  Sam: I was like you know what I have so much going on?
• 0:27
  Sam: I had a baby a year ago and I changed so much after my second baby that I was like you know what, who cares?
• 0:30
  Sam: Let's just see what happens this year and it's honestly been more fulfilling than whenever.
• 0:35
  Sam: I was like I need to get all of this done, I need to hit this income goal, I need to look like this, I need to be this way.
• 0:42
  Sam: Yeah, anyways, that's how I've been feeling about it.
• 0:44
  Sam: Welcome to.
• 0:45
  Carrie: Heart to Heart Parents, let's connect with our kids and learn together.
• 0:48
  Carrie: I'm Keri.
• 0:49
  Carrie: I was a former teacher and speech therapist.
• 0:51
  Carrie: I'm also a parent of two spirited, gifted, highly sensitive kids.
• 1:01
  Carrie: I was quickly brought to my knees as a parent when I thought that I would see a rosy lens version of parenting, just as they present on Instagram, but I quickly learned that's not real life.
• 1:08
  Carrie: I will provide real life experiences and transform them into moments for connections and change for you to use in your house.
• 1:17
  Carrie: Hi there, conscious parents, before we start today's episode, it's Carrie here and I wanted to reach out to ask you guys for a quick favor.
• 1:23
  Carrie: As a follower of our show, we would love for you to give us a five-star rating and leave us a review.
• 1:30
  Carrie: It can be just a few words, that's it, and it really goes a long way with us with the podcasting community on Apple or Spotify.
• 1:38
  Carrie: So thanks so much for tuning in and I'm so excited for you to hear today's message.
• 1:43
  Carrie: Happy listening.
• 1:44
  Carrie: Hi there and welcome back.
• 1:46
  Carrie: I have a wonderful group here today.
• 1:48
  Carrie: I'm so excited.
• 1:49
  Carrie: It is our final installment, our final series for the holiday series and we have New Year's Eve, so get ready, because we have a fabulous group of ladies here today.
• 1:59
  Carrie: I have Sam Perriard, dr Christy, sam Meg Stretherd and Vicky Viktorenko.
• 2:07
  Carrie: Of course, I stumble on like the easiest name, right?
• 2:10
  Carrie: That's just Murphy's Law.
• 2:11
  Carrie: So thank you so much.
• 2:13
  Carrie: Thank you so much, ladies, for being here today.
• 2:16
  Carrie: I'm so excited to have you all and I feel like we're really coming in with all this energy in this episode today, as we're coming into 2025.
• 2:24
  Carrie: I'm so excited.
• 2:25
  Carrie: I wanted to jump right in and ask you guys.
• 2:30
  Carrie: I feel like I'm seeing all over social media right now.
• 2:32
  Carrie: Everybody is talking about their 2024 goals.
• 2:36
  Carrie: Like what goals have you?
• 2:37
  Carrie: Have you accomplished all of your 2024 goals?
• 2:40
  Carrie: Is anybody feeling that stress?
• 2:42
  Carrie: What are you guys feeling about that right now?
• 2:44
  Sam: Personally, I crushed the littlest amount of goals this year.
• 2:49
  Sam: I changed everything about my life this year and I feel like this was the first year that I was really surrendered with it all and just leaning into what is meant to be instead of what I was trying to force myself into.
• 3:05
  Sam: In previous years, I was always so rigid with my goals, but this year I was like you know what?
• 3:11
  Sam: I have so much going on.
• 3:12
  Sam: I had a baby a year ago and I changed so much after my second baby that I was like you know what?
• 3:20
  Sam: Who cares?
• 3:20
  Sam: Let's just see what happens this year and it's honestly been more fulfilling than whenever.
• 3:25
  Sam: I was like I need to get all of this done, I need to hit this income goal, I need to look like this, I need to be this way, yeah, anyways, that's how I've been feeling about it.
• 3:35
  Carrie: That's awesome.
• 3:35
  Carrie: That's like the biggest change, right?
• 3:37
  Carrie: It's when you drop it and you are happy with where you're at.
• 3:42
  Carrie: That's a goal in itself, right there, right, that we're all trying to accomplish in our own.
• 3:46
  Carrie: Thank you, sam, for that.
• 3:47
  Carrie: You're welcome.
• 3:49
  Dr. Chrissy: Yeah, I can.
• 3:50
  Dr. Chrissy: This is Dr Chrissy, but I can totally relate.
• 3:53
  Dr. Chrissy: I had a baby as well She'll be a year on New Year's Eve and then I have a nine-year-old and a 12-year-old, two boys, and so it's very different like thinking about the last raising them and what I've done with them and then having her in the mix and I had to become more flexible and less rigid and that really has come over to.
• 4:17
  Dr. Chrissy: I haven't done a lot of goal setting.
• 4:19
  Dr. Chrissy: I'm like she's alive, she seems to be thriving.
• 4:22
  Dr. Chrissy: Yeah, Nobody killed anybody this year.
• 4:26
  Dr. Chrissy: It's okay, Like I wanted calm.
• 4:30
  Vickie: And.
• 4:30
  Dr. Chrissy: I think so many moms, at least that I'm starting to connect with, are wanting to ditch more of that hustle culture and having older kids.
• 4:42
  Dr. Chrissy: I don't know if any of you guys have older kids, but they get involved in activities and it's go, and so you're going from here to there.
• 4:51
  Dr. Chrissy: So for me it's like where can I be simple, where can I simplify it, where can we do less?
• 4:57
  Dr. Chrissy: And that, as it's interesting to be on the new year's thing, cause it's so much about goals usually and I'm like like a little bit anti right now, at least in the way that I used to be.
• 5:10
  Dr. Chrissy: Yeah, I'm excited to chat about all that.
• 5:13
  Carrie: OK, I'm finding a theme right now.
• 5:14
  Carrie: I feel like it's throw the freaking goals out the window.
• 5:17
  Carrie: That's kind of the theme right now.
• 5:21
  Vickie: Thanks, dr Chrissy.
• 5:21
  Vickie: I feel like this past year was the first year I actually set intentions over goals and for me, I chose two words at the start of last year and I was like these are going to be my two words that I'm just going to have my eye on and keep realigning myself with.
• 5:37
  Vickie: And I feel like it helped so much with feeling more free and how everyone else is saying it's so much less of that rigidity, because, similarly, I have a two and a four year old right now at home and it's just chaos, right, like they're so fun, they're so alive and full of energy, whereas I'm like where's the next cup of coffee?
• 5:54
  Vickie: But yeah, it's just.
• 5:55
  Vickie: It has felt so much more freeing to just lean in.
• 5:58
  Vickie: And I'll share my two words.
• 5:59
  Vickie: They were healing and alignment, and so I felt like it went into all categories of my life.
• 6:05
  Vickie: I work as a therapist for a living, but for me it was just like I have my own stuff to heal through, my own stuff to work through, and as long as I had my eyes on those two things throughout the year, I'm like nothing else really matters.
• 6:17
  Vickie: My kids are healthy, my family's healthy, let's keep going.
• 6:21
  Carrie: Whoa, I didn't even think about the word intention instead of goals.
• 6:24
  Carrie: That's just such a mindful new thought pattern.
• 6:28
  Carrie: My word for the year was passion, and I started a heart to heart this past year it was last spring was my passion project.
• 6:35
  Carrie: And I called it a goal, but honestly I think you're right.
• 6:37
  Carrie: It was the intention for the year.
• 6:39
  Carrie: Thank you, vicky, I love that.
• 6:42
  Meg: I I.
• 6:43
  Meg: To be detail oriented is not my forte.
• 6:46
  Meg: I wish it was, but that is not who I am as a person.
• 6:50
  Meg: So I've actually started pinning or using Pinterest and I go on and I find a bunch of pictures that I think, oh, this feels good for this year.
• 7:00
  Meg: I like this, and I come back to it periodically and look at them and just think does this still feel good?
• 7:08
  Meg: Is this where I'm going?
• 7:09
  Meg: Is this where I'm aiming?
• 7:10
  Meg: Because to me it feels a little bit looser and a little bit easier and less rigid.
• 7:14
  Meg: Vicky, I'm the same.
• 7:16
  Meg: I have a four-year-old today and a two and a half-year-old and their boys, and they are beautiful and wonderful and absolutely wild and every day is okay.
• 7:29
  Meg: Today's the day I'm going to make it through.
• 7:31
  Meg: We got this, and so that is the goal and it evolves and it rolls and it changes and I think just having a visualization for me anyways is is the path.
• 7:43
  Carrie: Yeah, it's so true that it rolls and changes, because sometimes our goal just for the day, or intention, is surviving that day, yeah, through that day, yeah, so okay.
• 7:54
  Carrie: So it sounds like intention is a great idea.
• 7:57
  Carrie: How do we go about setting an intention while being mindful and not being like you need this financial goal you need.
• 8:06
  Carrie: How do we anybody have any take on what we do for 2025?
• 8:10
  Carrie: What are we thinking about for that?
• 8:13
  Sam: I really think that just being really clear on what it is you want and surrendering the timeline especially as a parent because I also have I have a larger age gap between my two kids.
• 8:24
  Sam: My son is seven and my daughter is one and I remember with him I struggled really bad with postpartum anxiety and depression, like bad, and I was so worried about every little detail about being a good mom.
• 8:39
  Sam: And then I heaved myself into motherhood and completely lost myself.
• 8:43
  Sam: And then I started to find myself again and threw myself into trying to build a career and personal development and everything was so rigid and I felt so trapped almost in my in these, like this idea of what I thought I should be and this idea of what I thought motherhood should look like.
• 9:04
  Sam: And over this last year, especially since having my daughter, I just realized that like surrendering everything and being just so crystal clear and leaning back into your alignment, leaning into mom era, like you're a mom right now.
• 9:19
  Sam: This is your most important job.
• 9:20
  Sam: In my opinion.
• 9:21
  Sam: It's my most important job.
• 9:23
  Sam: But being able to allow yourself to have those goals and those intentions and just surrender it.
• 9:30
  Sam: It will come faster if that makes sense.
• 9:32
  Sam: It also collapses the timeline a lot.
• 9:34
  Sam: So that's my take on that.
• 9:36
  Sam: Yeah, I think that's perfect.
• 9:40
  Dr. Chrissy: Over the weekend this statement I was doing some work on goals and intentions and things with the women's circle I was part of and the statement go slow to do more what came forth for me like how slow could I go?
• 9:58
  Sam: I know it seems like everything, you still get to that next goal.
• 10:03
  Sam: It's just not.
• 10:04
  Sam: You don't have the same amount of time as everybody else.
• 10:07
  Sam: But what if you could take that little time that you did have and make it that much more quality, that much more juicy?
• 10:14
  Carrie: Yeah, I don't know if you guys, I don't know if you guys have kids that reach out and ask for you to slow down.
• 10:20
  Carrie: My daughter, she's six.
• 10:22
  Carrie: I have a six-year-old daughter and a nine-year-old son, and my daughter will say, mom, can you come play with me, mom?
• 10:27
  Carrie: And so just taking that moment to just put everything down and go and play with them, even if it's just five minutes, but she's just being actively present in that moment, that's part of the slow down for me.
• 10:38
  Vickie: I love that because, as I mentioned, my kiddos are two and four and so I used to be someone who was like so rigid, like I loved having a clean house, like I loved all the things.
• 10:46
  Vickie: And now, since becoming a mom, like embracing the mess and sometimes, yes, I get overwhelmed I'm like my house At the end of the day, if my kids feel loved and that like we played and had those like 5-10 minutes of connection, like that means more to me than having my sink full of dishes that I'll get to eventually like that, and so I think it's really just like you guys are all saying, slowing down.
• 11:09
  Vickie: I love that.
• 11:09
  Carrie: Dr Chrissy and I was gonna ask have you guys ever looked at I was actually talking to moms once recently about letting our house get messy and where we're at in that I?
• 11:21
  Carrie: I have some friends that were like I cannot let my house get messy because my energy feels so intense if my house is messy and I feel anxious, and then for me it's actually the opposite.
• 11:34
  Carrie: Where it's I have to let go of things in my house.
• 11:37
  Carrie: My mom always had a perfect, very clean house, very orderly, and when she comes over I can tell she feels anxious in my house because my kids, they feel overwhelmed if I ask them to clean up at the wrong time.
• 11:48
  Carrie: So it's I have to.
• 11:50
  Carrie: It's this ebb and flow of sometimes we're really clean, sometimes it gets out of disorder, which there's a stack of elf toys behind the screen right now that you guys can't see.
• 11:58
  Carrie: But it's like honoring that in ourselves and I had to figure out what in me needs the house to be clean.
• 12:07
  Carrie: Oh, it's something from my childhood having this need to please my mom.
• 12:11
  Carrie: So it was a lot of self-healing in that.
• 12:14
  Carrie: Have you guys found that at all?
• 12:16
  Sam: Oh, yeah, I get anxious sometimes if it's too much, but I'm also very let it go.
• 12:22
  Sam: Let them be kids, be messy.
• 12:24
  Sam: But then you just get the zoomies once in a while and just zoom it, just zoom it clean and then you're good and it's okay, I'm good, and then you're able to enjoy it and enjoy the space.
• 12:34
  Sam: And if you start to feel get feel overwhelmed, then some people call it rage cleaning, but I feel like it's a little aggressive.
• 12:42
  Sam: I just called the zoomies and we just zoom around and get it done.
• 12:46
  Sam: Yes, that's great.
• 12:48
  Carrie: I love terming that.
• 12:49
  Carrie: Hi there, changemaker.
• 12:50
  Carrie: Moms and dads, it's Carrie here.
• 12:52
  Carrie: I hope you're enjoying today's episode.
• 12:54
  Carrie: If there's any pieces of this episode that resonate with you, we would love for you to share it with a friend.
• 13:00
  Carrie: A little helping hand goes a long way.
• 13:02
  Dr. Chrissy: We appreciate you tuning in, and here's more, I think, for me like my partner and I are very different in this, and so he's.
• 13:13
  Dr. Chrissy: My daughter has a different dad, and so this is his first child and my third, right.
• 13:20
  Dr. Chrissy: So there's already some things that are going to be a little different, and he's having to come in and get used to like the big kids, but then also he's just so in love with our daughter.
• 13:30
  Dr. Chrissy: It's very different because he really wants it clean, and I have evolved to be able to let that go.
• 13:38
  Dr. Chrissy: Now I find myself like he's asking please, if it's not clean, I can't function, and so I'm like working so much harder on trying to have this balance, but it's like the number one thing that we struggle with, and it is just this.
• 13:56
  Dr. Chrissy: Okay, everybody's nervous system is different, and I don't need it to be clean in order to do whatever I'm doing at the moment, whereas he can't filter that out.
• 14:09
  Dr. Chrissy: So it's like any yeah advice from anyone I'm willing to take.
• 14:15
  Dr. Chrissy: I don't know that.
• 14:16
  Dr. Chrissy: I'm just sending him love.
• 14:18
  Dr. Chrissy: I don't have a tiny advice.
• 14:22
  Meg: But my husband is the same.
• 14:24
  Meg: He's the same way.
• 14:26
  Meg: He loves a clean house and he is the type of person that if something is out of place, when he passes it, he will move it and put it into place.
• 14:34
  Meg: So he's constantly taking action and I am more of a.
• 14:38
  Meg: I have a million things to do during the day.
• 14:41
  Meg: I will get to this and I will clean it, but it's going to be later, and so there's that.
• 14:47
  Meg: I understand when you say there's a bit of a difference, but I would also say I think it probably is just going to take him a little bit of time, because my husband has digressed a lot now that we have two children, like things can get a bit messier and he's okay with that, whereas before, oh my gosh, that would have caused him such anxiety and such stress to have a home that was disorganized.
• 15:10
  Meg: But yeah, I think like time and also trying to be mindful of the other person, right, it doesn't bother me, but if I see something wildly out of place, I know it will bother him.
• 15:19
  Meg: So I will take like an extra step to tidy it up a little bit if I can, as opposed to where my natural instinct would be just to leave it.
• 15:26
  Meg: I'm like, ah, this is going to cause him anxiety, I'm going to think about that and try to do something about it a little bit.
• 15:34
  Carrie: If you have a conversation with your partner about what the end game, if there is a there's like a maximum piece that they need.
• 15:41
  Carrie: So my house is not complete chaos.
• 15:43
  Carrie: There are the zoomies.
• 15:44
  Carrie: I get the zoomies, especially before I go on to do a podcast.
• 15:47
  Carrie: It gets that energy going, get that energy out, go out and pick up everything before and gets my nerves ready.
• 15:53
  Carrie: But my husband has basically told me a boundary, like okay, when I come home, if there's dishes stacked up because you were doing your work and you didn't have time to get to it today, that's really hard on my system when I come home to that.
• 16:06
  Carrie: So having that conversation about what your maximum is really helpful.
• 16:12
  Carrie: I was going to ask, as we're talking about thinking about keeping ourselves zen, knowing our maximums Meg, do you have any ideas?
• 16:19
  Carrie: I love that you have the breathing support and I was thinking as we get nervous about housework, maybe the end of the year coming in.
• 16:28
  Carrie: Some of us are entrepreneurs, so we're thinking about the end of the year, goals at work and all of these things.
• 16:34
  Carrie: I feel like the energy is just building up in December.
• 16:38
  Carrie: It's like this whole just energy builds.
• 16:40
  Carrie: We've got basketball games, dance recitals in my house, like all these things coming up.
• 16:45
  Meg: Absolutely, if it's any example, we're throwing my son's birthday today.
• 16:49
  Meg: I just got called during this podcast from school saying my other son is sick and needs to be picked up.
• 16:54
  Meg: The house, as we were just speaking, needs to be entirely cleaned and I still need to make buttercream frosting for the cupcakes and we're all here today, so I completely understand.
• 17:06
  Meg: Not to mention, I still need to get teacher's gifts.
• 17:09
  Sam: Oh, I blew that off.
• 17:10
  Sam: I blew it off.
• 17:14
  Meg: You got to draw a line somewhere.
• 17:16
  Meg: Right, there has to be a line.
• 17:17
  Meg: But I think Happy Christmas, you're like Merry Christmas, we'll see you in the year.
• 17:23
  Meg: But I think what's really crazy, or like just a little like a very Cliff's Notes background, is that we all have an autonomic nervous system.
• 17:33
  Meg: It controls our heart rate, it controls our breathing, it controls a bunch of bodily functions that are automatic, so we don't have to think about beating our heart, right, we don't need to think about breathing.
• 17:46
  Meg: Think about beating our heart, right, we don't need to think about breathing, they just happen.
• 17:53
  Meg: What's really cool about that is the only function of your autonomic nervous system that you can control, literally hijack, is your breathing, and that can change how you feel.
• 18:00
  Meg: It will physically change how you feel.
• 18:03
  Meg: It will not change what's going on.
• 18:05
  Meg: That will not change, unfortunately but it will change how you react to it.
• 18:09
  Meg: And a big part of that is we have two systems, right, we have our parasympathetic, which is our rest and reset, and we have our sympathetic, which is our fight, flight, get stuff done, and we're supposed to ebb and flow between the two of them.
• 18:24
  Meg: Right, you can't have, you can't not have one and not have the other, like sometimes we need to take action and so you need to be able to be pushed into that section.
• 18:31
  Meg: Sometimes you want to be able to relax, so you need to be able to flow.
• 18:34
  Meg: I think a lot of times with, like our current state, specifically moms, we do not ebb and flow.
• 18:42
  Meg: We sit in the I have this and this and this to do.
• 18:44
  Meg: I need to go over here.
• 18:45
  Meg: Someone just threw yogurt on the wall.
• 18:46
  Meg: How am I going to get my kid to soccer?
• 18:48
  Meg: And now I need to get on my own work and I haven't showered, great.
• 18:53
  Meg: And we sit in that space and it's very hard to get out of and it's chronic.
• 18:59
  Meg: So now, like breathing, like how does that help?
• 19:01
  Meg: That sounds absolutely ridiculous.
• 19:03
  Meg: You're telling me I'm going to breathe and it's going to make me feel better, and I actually am telling you, yes, it will help.
• 19:08
  Meg: So, because we can hijack how we feel by using our breath, the absolute simplest way you could do this and you can all do it right now is just pay attention to the fact that you are breathing, and it sounds so basic.
• 19:24
  Meg: Pay attention to it.
• 19:26
  Meg: Are you breathing fast?
• 19:28
  Meg: Are you breathing slowly?
• 19:30
  Meg: Is it even?
• 19:31
  Meg: Did you even know that you were breathing, or notice or think that you were breathing at all at one point today, like, probably not so simply becoming aware of the pace of your breath.
• 19:44
  Meg: Are you breathing into your chest or are you breathing into your belly, right, like, how can you manipulate and how can you slow down that one facet of your body to help calm how you are feeling in that moment?
• 20:01
  Meg: And there's tips and there's tricks and there's techniques and we can go through all of those things, but it's really tips and there's tricks and there's techniques and we can go through all of those things, but it's really honestly, it's becoming self-aware and coming back to yourself and just focusing on that vital aspect to your livelihood, to your life, and it allows you to take a moment, to take a pause and to calm down.
• 20:23
  Meg: Now we can again, like I said, go through some techniques that will help you in the moment, but that is the biggest one that I think people forget Breathe through your nose, breathe deep into your belly, and do that a few times if you need something right off the bat, and it will make a huge difference.
• 20:40
  Carrie: I love thinking about the awareness of breathing.
• 20:43
  Carrie: I don't ever think about that and it's so important and, yeah, just it helps to renew your energy.
• 20:52
  Carrie: Yeah, yeah, thank you.
• 20:53
  Carrie: It literally just calms you.
• 20:59
  Sam: Yeah, I had.
• 21:01
  Sam: I've been doing breath work for a long time now and when I had three miscarriages a few years ago and they were spread out and I was having fertility issues and after I had a really bad one, I lost a baby at 10 weeks.
• 21:16
  Sam: I don't know if I'm allowed to say that on here, Sorry if that's a little graphic, but I feel like other moms can relate.
• 21:21
  Sam: But after I went through that I didn't cry for nine months.
• 21:25
  Sam: I cried about it when it happened and then I just stopped, I just held it all down and I was just like done.
• 21:30
  Sam: I didn't want to feel it, I avoided it.
• 21:33
  Sam: And one of my good friends is a breathwork coach and I went to her and she had I think she had just finished her training or something like that and I went to her house with a friend and we did a breathwork session and I sobbed so hard like it all released.
• 21:52
  Sam: And then ever since then, because my whole life I have always not been a crier.
• 21:57
  Sam: I've always been like the goofball and crying was never something that was safe in my home growing up.
• 22:01
  Sam: So after that I had a whole realization, just because of breath, just because of breath work, that it's okay to cry and I was able to actually let it out when it needed to come out, instead of that automatic shove it down, Don't worry about it.
• 22:17
  Sam: I was able to just always turn it off, but now I'm like I can't, it comes out now.
• 22:23
  Meg: So yeah, I love that so much.
• 22:25
  Meg: I think that's so amazing.
• 22:26
  Meg: And I also think we're talking about children, right, my boys see me stop and take a moment and breathe.
• 22:34
  Meg: If I'm starting to get escalated, right, if something, if a lot is going on, they can tell.
• 22:38
  Meg: I'll say, guys, mommy's starting to get really frustrated, I just need to take a couple breaths here, and whether they like it or they think I look crazy, I'm not sure but they definitely pause and they watch me and I've actually had my boys say before just need to take a breath, my four-year-old just need to take a breath, and they'll stop and pause and, honestly, the breath is amazing and we can get into that.
• 22:57
  Meg: But it's the pause, the stop, the take a moment for yourself.
• 23:02
  Meg: Like you were saying right, breathe in, it's okay, it is going to be okay and finding that within yourself, your story was absolutely beautiful, that's exactly it.
• 23:11
  Meg: Right, it's taking that time just to.
• 23:13
  Meg: People will always say to you on the show oh, just take a breath, just breathe, right.
• 23:18
  Meg: But what does that actually mean?
• 23:19
  Meg: Just slow down a little bit if you can, which you can always take a in.
• 23:25
  Vickie: I love what you guys are sharing, just because it's I think we forget that something so free and inexpensive right, it's like a tool that we have within our bodies that we can tap into.
• 23:34
  Vickie: And it's so cathartic for our bodies because otherwise, like the tension that we hold and like the stress, like in our shoulders, wherever, like in our throats, and it's so funny because it's I love practicing like diaphragmatic breath work, and so it's again like you're breathing into your belly and you just notice your body melting and it just feels so good.
• 23:51
  Vickie: So I'm glad that we're talking about this topic for everyone.
• 23:54
  Vickie: And also, too, what you guys are saying is just like being able to model that for our kids, because I don't know about you guys, but like my parents didn't model those things right Bless their hearts.
• 24:03
  Vickie: But like now, if we're able to learn to regulate ourselves and model those things for them like what you said, now your four-year-old is, I need to take a breath, and it was such a beautiful testament to what we can teach the future generations to do totally yeah.
• 24:18
  Carrie: And along with that breath work, in that moment where you're present with yourself, there's a word that I have been coming, I keep finding, finding it, it keeps coming up to me.
• 24:28
  Carrie: I'm like, okay, universe, I hear you.
• 24:29
  Carrie: I hear you Cause loving kindness.
• 24:32
  Carrie: I don't know if you guys have heard that term before, but that's it was recently in a book I was reading.
• 24:37
  Carrie: It was talking about being present, being in the presence of somebody who is capable of loving you for who you are, without reservation.
• 24:46
  Carrie: So loving kindness is something that I think about.
• 24:50
  Carrie: We all want to do for our kids, love them without reservation, love them for who they are.
• 24:55
  Carrie: But also I was thinking, as Sam was telling us her story, the loving kindness that we need to show ourselves too right.
• 25:02
  Carrie: It's so much easier to show your kids, it's easier to show your spouse sometimes, most of the time, I think but then also showing it for ourselves, especially as we're going into the new year and having this renewal of energy.
• 25:16
  Carrie: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:19
  Sam: Yeah.
• 25:19
  Carrie: So is.
• 25:20
  Carrie: Oh, sorry.
• 25:21
  Carrie: There was also one thing I heard somebody was saying there was a chant they were doing and I loved it and I have to write it down and share it, but basically the chant was where there is loving kindness.
• 25:33
  Carrie: Whatever you believe in, god, spirit, universe is there and there's a chant and you can say that with your kids, so they have this feeling of this never-ending love and that's what my daughter's word for 2024 was love and that was what she wanted and it wasn't.
• 25:51
  Carrie: My son's was brave, which was very powerful for both of them, because they both started a new school in 2024 in January.
• 25:57
  Carrie: They switched mid-year and so they both showed their version of their word this year.
• 26:01
  Carrie: But is there anything you guys think about the term loving kindness that comes up for you?
• 26:08
  Dr. Chrissy: There's a gentleness and like a softness and I think when you can add to the breath an intention or an emotion.
• 26:15
  Dr. Chrissy: Like I do some work with heart math If anyone's heard of the Heart Math Institute, so I've been doing that work for about 15 years and it's thinking about because sometimes you're aware of your breath and you're aware that it's shallow, or like that self-awareness piece adds the pause, just like Meg was saying.
• 26:35
  Dr. Chrissy: And then if you want to bring a different emotion in, that's for me like the next step what do I want to breathe in right now?
• 26:45
  Dr. Chrissy: What do I want to breathe in right now, what do I want to breathe out?
• 26:47
  Dr. Chrissy: And sometimes, just thinking about right now I'm frustrated or I'm this or that, like I just want to breathe in connection, first starting with my heart, like just connecting into the area around my heart and letting that like breath out, dissipate the tension, and then in you're really breathing that like expansion, the heart energy, and I used it also a lot as just a meditation in the beginning of my day.
• 27:17
  Dr. Chrissy: Using the heart math tools like quick coherence is just coming into your heart and creating that coherent rhythm and using an emotion like gratitude or joy or peace, you get to decide which plethora of emotion you want to breathe in.
• 27:32
  Dr. Chrissy: But then you really practice that and then it comes easier.
• 27:36
  Sam: In moments of stress, it's like you have that anchor to go back, to that touch point, to go back to point, to go back, and it comes, it starts to get wired into your subconscious mind and it starts to become an automatic habit, because, as little children like you think of a child and they could connect to every emotion so easily.
• 27:57
  Sam: Right, there's so much to learn from our little children Like they've.
• 28:00
  Sam: They're so beautifully connected to themselves, to earth, to everything, to magic, to themselves, to earth, to everything, to magic.
• 28:12
  Sam: Right, but it gets beaten out is not the right word, but you know what I mean.
• 28:14
  Sam: Right, it gets wired out.
• 28:15
  Sam: And so as adults, especially in our generation, we have to be the ones to be able to connect back to that and to make it an automatic thing.
• 28:23
  Sam: And it's amazing that our generation is becoming so self-aware with these things, because then our kids are going to be able to do that, and it's each generation is just going to heal even more, and when we heal the world.
• 28:37
  Sam: So I love that.
• 28:40
  Carrie: Yeah, that's beautiful and then.
• 28:42
  Carrie: So I was going to ask you, vicky, if you had an idea about intention and teaching our kids, or thinking about 2025, what would that look like?
• 28:58
  Vickie: That's a really good question, I think.
• 28:59
  Vickie: As I was thinking about just the new year coming up, I'm like, okay, what's going to be my new intention, what's going to be my new word or theme that I want to work through?
• 29:08
  Vickie: And so, with kids, I think, like I've worked with little ones too and something I haven't done with my little ones because of their ages, but I think with my four-year-old I'm going to try this year and see how it works.
• 29:20
  Vickie: But one of the ideas I had is like having a word of the year jar, and so what I mean by that is maybe like writing down different words, like kindness or bravery, or like love the words that we talked about today or creativity, and then letting your little ones be able to pick out something out of a jar and then like randomly talking about them, like which word really resonates with them, which word feels really exciting to them.
• 29:43
  Vickie: That could be a really fun activity for little kiddos or even teens, whatever age.
• 29:48
  Vickie: And then I think also another beautiful thing that we can all maybe do is having that family intention, like setting it as a group right, like sitting down and saying maybe we can plan something that's monthly, maybe we can plan a monthly game night, something that feels feasible for everybody, or maybe saving for a really special trip as a family, like maybe a little outing, something like that that you guys can all bring together, but just like making it really fun and light and instead of approaching it and like always being all goal oriented because I think that's where, like, we can create anxiety, not only for ourselves but for, like, our little kids, and disappointment oh I didn't get that goal.
• 30:29
  Vickie: But again, I think going back to that intention can be so beautiful and light and just a new way of looking at things.
• 30:37
  Carrie: I was just thinking at the spiritual center that we've gone to in the past with our kids.
• 30:41
  Carrie: They do.
• 30:42
  Carrie: I forgot what it's called, but it's some type of release of the old energy from 2024 and they actually burn pieces of paper.
• 30:49
  Carrie: But I haven't ever made it, because we're usually skiing on the new year and I'm trying to think I have a shredder machine.
• 30:56
  Carrie: It's like a mechanical shredder machine that the kids, we, before we, would get on an airplane, we would or go on a trip, we would write down some of the things we're nervous about and then we would shred it through the machine.
• 31:07
  Carrie: I'm releasing this.
• 31:09
  Carrie: So I think anything that we want to maybe move on from the year, or things that we were scared of at the beginning of 24, 24, but now we're, we've tackled and we feel confident and maybe I'm thinking of something we could do with that.
• 31:24
  Carrie: To end it, burn it, burn it all.
• 31:29
  Vickie: I love that.
• 31:30
  Vickie: I think for us, as like adults too, like bad hat being, as like a ritual, like I love the shredder for the kids, but like for us too, there's so many things that maybe don't serve us from the year that we just had, or things that were like fears, or things that held us back Writing it down, having I don't know.
• 31:47
  Vickie: I love crystals, I love like gems and things like that.
• 31:50
  Vickie: But making it a beautiful little ritual for yourself, I think is so good, and calling in what you do want for the new year, yeah.
• 31:57
  Dr. Chrissy: We did having boys and you guys have some of you have young boys, mine are nine and 12, but, like I was thinking about these questions, what are the things or rituals you can create?
• 32:10
  Dr. Chrissy: And a lot of times I'll ask them questions and then you just get those like blank stare back.
• 32:16
  Dr. Chrissy: I don't know what word, I just can't.
• 32:20
  Dr. Chrissy: And so I was thinking about probably all kids, but boys especially are very physical.
• 32:26
  Dr. Chrissy: We've done where we got.
• 32:29
  Dr. Chrissy: I bought them at Home Depot like very thin, so don't picture like a thick board they're trying to break, but like a thin board.
• 32:35
  Dr. Chrissy: And we wrote on the one side to get rid of and then on the other side what you're breaking through too.
• 32:42
  Dr. Chrissy: And my youngest, when we first did this, was four and I helped him a little, but I have this picture of him where he's he just, instead of like karate chopping, he pushed it really hard, like he just kept pushing and the board's like bending and then and he's like just, and then it broke and it was amazing, right, whether it's fire or a shredder or like I was thinking you might be able to make like a scavenger hunt of some kind, like where you hide a little something and then they have to come back, and then you ask them a question in order to get their next thing, like, okay, what do you want to let go of?
• 33:20
  Dr. Chrissy: And then they're like you know, maybe it would get them out of their like, cause they're like in the game of it, like a bit of a game with it.
• 33:29
  Sam: That's so true.
• 33:30
  Sam: Boys are so game oriented.
• 33:32
  Sam: My daughter's only 15-ish months old right now and I can already tell she follows direction pretty well.
• 33:44
  Sam: My son, we're going to square up first and then I'll do what you say, right.
• 33:46
  Sam: But if we're at the park and it's time to leave Right, it's not you can't tell him.
• 33:51
  Sam: We're leaving now.
• 33:52
  Sam: It's who's going to get to the car first?
• 33:54
  Sam: Am I going to be to the car?
• 33:56
  Sam: And he's like no.
• 33:58
  Sam: So, yeah, I love that so much, making a game out of it.
• 34:00
  Sam: Because, like you said, boys are so physical, they want to smash, they want to break, they want to run around and be wild little cavemen.
• 34:08
  Sam: So being able to get those being able to learn to let go and honor his emotions in a masculine way, I think is really, really important, because those emotions are there and there's this preconceived notion or the societal expectation or something that boys, if they have emotions, it means that they're feminine or you know that they're wusses or they're girly.
• 34:33
  Sam: But it's not true, right?
• 34:34
  Sam: You can still.
• 34:35
  Sam: They can still honor all of their range of emotions in a masculine manner, and that's what makes great husbands, that's what makes great fathers, right, that's what makes somebody who can have a job and communicate effectively to their workers.
• 34:50
  Sam: Whatever right, you know what I'm saying, but yeah, I love that so much.
• 34:54
  Vickie: I love those tips you guys are talking about because I feel for any boy that's so important.
• 34:59
  Vickie: But also I know, carrie, you work a lot with the neurodivergent community too, and so even just like talking about, like, the highly sensitive boys like I don't think a lot of people talk about those and even for them just being able to like self-express and it's such a beautiful thing that we're trying to cultivate in them and teach them, so I think all of those things can tie in well together yeah, you guys are saying great points with like movement and hands-on, and Vicky had brought up the point, when she was talking about doing it with her four-year-old, of having the bank of words for them.
• 35:31
  Carrie: right, they don't have to come up with the words.
• 35:33
  Carrie: You can have the bank of them already listed out when they're choosing it.
• 35:37
  Carrie: So, especially with the kids that are like I don't know what do I want to choose, yeah, yeah.
• 35:43
  Dr. Chrissy: With brain development, like it's all.
• 35:46
  Dr. Chrissy: Kids need movement, but boys need more and they're like, as a chiropractor, learning a lot of pediatric works.
• 35:53
  Dr. Chrissy: I work on a lot of pediatric kids but is when I was learning from this particular neurologist he was talking about they have to move in order for their prefrontal cortex to ever be able to sit still.
• 36:08
  Dr. Chrissy: Yes, you don't let them move, especially when they're young.
• 36:13
  Dr. Chrissy: They literally will not be able to sit still later.
• 36:17
  Sam: Because they don't know the difference.
• 36:19
  Sam: There's no cognitive difference there.
• 36:21
  Sam: I don't even know what to do with my body right now.
• 36:24
  Sam: There's no regulation there.
• 36:26
  Dr. Chrissy: They have to move and the only way that free frontal cortex will wake up and start working is if you're able to move.
• 36:34
  Dr. Chrissy: That's so interesting.
• 36:35
  Dr. Chrissy: We learn so much through movement and school at least traditional school they have to sit still a lot and for boys especially it's so hard.
• 36:45
  Dr. Chrissy: So we have a trampoline and we have like stuff and if you're out on a walk I remember always giving the boys like jump over that rock, see if you can balance on that like whatever thing over there, and then like climb over that and then run back to me and like how can I make them?
• 37:02
  Dr. Chrissy: move more, so that eventually they'll sit still yeah.
• 37:06
  Sam: Last year my son was in grade one and they I got a phone call from the teacher every single day because he wouldn't sit still in class and they would kick him out every single day and it was getting to the point where I was about to pull him from the school and I had a talk with the teacher in January.
• 37:23
  Sam: I'm like I'm so sorry he's not going to sit still.
• 37:25
  Sam: This boy has.
• 37:26
  Sam: He has hit the ground running and not stopped since he was born and so we had a lot of issues last year and we debated homeschooling and we gave him the option.
• 37:37
  Sam: We're like you can homeschool and you can get all your work done in the morning and we can freaking run all day long.
• 37:42
  Sam: And this year has been so much better because his teacher just understands that and she really asked each parent what do you want to see for your child?
• 37:52
  Sam: What does your child need?
• 37:53
  Sam: And I'm like this guy needs to move.
• 37:55
  Sam: So they have body breaks every 45 minutes.
• 37:59
  Sam: They go out for three recesses, which is what a lot of the other kids don't do, and he's thriving this year.
• 38:06
  Carrie: Three recesses is amazing.
• 38:08
  Carrie: Love that.
• 38:09
  Carrie: But you found a teacher that accepts your son for who he is right.
• 38:12
  Carrie: Loving kindness, yeah, accepting them for who they are, and they can feel safe to be who they are too, in a classroom, which can be hard, okay.
• 38:21
  Carrie: So it sounds like a lot of people are going to be taking it easy, thinking about slowing down, thinking about having an intention for themselves.
• 38:32
  Carrie: What are you guys thinking for yourself into the new year?
• 38:36
  Carrie: You're going to slow down, but then, when you come up with something, are you going to come up with a word?
• 38:42
  Carrie: Are you going to?
• 38:43
  Carrie: Does it feel like a lot of pressure to do that?
• 38:44
  Carrie: What does it look like as a mom going into 2025?
• 38:48
  Carrie: What are your thinking thoughts?
• 38:53
  Sam: I have.
• 38:54
  Sam: So again, like I touched on in the beginning, this is Sam.
• 38:59
  Sam: I didn't have I don't have tons of rigid goals.
• 39:02
  Sam: I'm very clear on what I want this year and I know what to do.
• 39:05
  Sam: I feel like I have clarity on all of that.
• 39:07
  Sam: But my goal for this year, or my word for this year, my intention for this year, is fun, because I feel like there is so much healing in just following your joy and doing the things that actually light you up.
• 39:22
  Sam: Because if you do that, you're going to be able to heal so many more people than you even know.
• 39:28
  Sam: Because when you're having a good time, when you're in alignment and you're actually living in your joy, you're not forcing.
• 39:34
  Sam: I just feel so excited for that feeling this year.
• 39:39
  Sam: So that's pretty much it.
• 39:43
  Sam: I'm excited.
• 39:45
  Sam: I co-host a comedy podcast called Girl Dinner, as you can see our very fancy sign right here on my sheet.
• 39:52
  Sam: But I started we started that in April.
• 39:55
  Sam: I used to host a mindset and manifestation podcast and I host that for years and it was a great time.
• 40:00
  Sam: But it was.
• 40:01
  Sam: I grew out of it.
• 40:02
  Sam: It was fun, it was self-development.
• 40:04
  Sam: It was.
• 40:04
  Sam: All the things that put me through a lot, taught me how to be a podcaster and interview people.
• 40:08
  Sam: It was all the things that put me through a lot, taught me how to be a podcaster and interview people.
• 40:09
  Sam: But starting our comedy podcast we laugh every time and it's just so good.
• 40:16
  Sam: I think a lot of people who are just getting into personal development forget that we also can have fun and how healing that is, whereas we've all sat there and read every single personal development book there is and it burns you out after a while.
• 40:33
  Sam: So that's my goal this year is have fun, spread joy and just see where that all goes, where that all takes me.
• 40:40
  Carrie: Thanks, sam.
• 40:41
  Carrie: I love the fun.
• 40:42
  Carrie: Bring the fun, bring the energy, and that's renewing your energy too, when you're thinking about a word.
• 40:48
  Carrie: Sometimes a word comes to you at the beginning of the year, so I like to meditate and see what comes to me, what I'm drawn to, what I hear in meditation for the year and for the year of 2023, the word was peace.
• 41:01
  Carrie: For me, and the entire year, my husband ended up with the same word.
• 41:04
  Carrie: We didn't talk about it, we wrote it down and we were like we have the same word.
• 41:07
  Carrie: 2023 was not a year of peace at all.
• 41:11
  Carrie: Like we lost friendships, we ended up changing schools, we and like all of these things just went on for us in 2023.
• 41:19
  Carrie: It was like this is not peaceful.
• 41:21
  Carrie: But then, at the very end of 2023, it was like everything broke down and then somehow everything lined up and on I swear it was like December.
• 41:33
  Carrie: We got out of the part, out of the airport in Santa Barbara, and I looked over and it said on the wall it was like this is the year of peace and I was like whoa, it is.
• 41:41
  Carrie: Everything broke down and then somehow caused my husband and I to make changes.
• 41:45
  Carrie: So everything lined up for us, too, and it ended up the year of peace.
• 41:47
  Carrie: So everything lined up for us, too, and it ended up the year of peace.
• 41:50
  Carrie: So sometimes at the beginning of the year, it can feel like I don't know what I'm choosing.
• 41:53
  Carrie: Why am I choosing this?
• 41:54
  Carrie: And throughout the year, you're like this is not happening, but at the end of the year sometimes it comes in yeah, just clearing out all that old stuff, right, everything that wasn't bringing you peace.
• 42:04
  Sam: You had to like, yeah, disassemble it.
• 42:07
  Carrie: And then the piece comes, it manifests Do you guys have any thoughts about any last closing thoughts on your?
• 42:15
  Carrie: What you're thinking for the end, for your 2025?
• 42:18
  Carrie: If you're going to think of an intention, think of a word, what are your plans?
• 42:24
  Carrie: Anybody else?
• 42:26
  Meg: I think this.
• 42:26
  Meg: I was just going gonna say sorry, this is Meg and I think this probably sounds perhaps obvious to some moms, but with two little boys in the past couple of years I found like I lost myself, Like I I was a mom and I do breath, work, but I'm the primary for my boys and so a lot of momming comes into that and a lot of self goes out.
• 42:55
  Meg: And this year I finally feel ready to start being Meg again and booking dates with girlfriends, keeping consistent, putting on makeup in the morning it sounds so basic, but literally going in the bathroom and spending 10 minutes even just taking care of my own face and my own self to go out and see other people in the day.
• 43:20
  Meg: And it's those little things, but it's the bigger things, right?
• 43:23
  Meg: We talked about this.
• 43:23
  Meg: Laugh fun, find friends, do things with some other friends.
• 43:27
  Meg: Read books.
• 43:28
  Meg: I'm super into romanticism these days.
• 43:30
  Meg: I have never been a big reader.
• 43:31
  Meg: I have read so many books this past year.
• 43:33
  Meg: It is astounding.
• 43:34
  Meg: Find something you like to do and own that, and it doesn't have to be.
• 43:39
  Meg: It's your own right.
• 43:40
  Meg: Find what makes you tick outside all the other responsibilities that you have and dive in deep to that right, find your own thing, all the other responsibilities that you have and dive in deep to that right, the jump from self-development to romanticy, just saying.
• 43:56
  Meg: It's so much more fun.
• 43:57
  Meg: Anyone need some offline recommendations on some really wonderfully racy, very light reads.
• 44:03
  Meg: I Am your Girl.
• 44:04
  Meg: I have a whole roster of books.
• 44:07
  Carrie: And you can do audio book versions of it.
• 44:10
  Carrie: Like I'm a podcast host too, I love podcasts, but sometimes I shut it down and I listen to a cheesy Elin Hildebrand beach, nantucket sexy novel.
• 44:20
  Carrie: That's what I sit and listen to.
• 44:22
  Carrie: So sometimes you got to take a break, your word maybe should be me or your name Meg.
• 44:27
  Carrie: Self-care yeah.
• 44:28
  Dr. Chrissy: Self-love, love it Funny because it's always and I like the idea of using a jar because there's so many words popping in and it's maybe that's a fun way to let the universe decide but like the word show up authentic, true care, which for me the difference between care.
• 44:46
  Dr. Chrissy: So there's care and then there's overcare and I am very it's hard to go into.
• 44:53
  Dr. Chrissy: I go into overcare easily, which then is draining.
• 44:56
  Dr. Chrissy: So that's how you can tell whether you're in true care, because that feels good and it's uplifting and you feel lighter when you're in true care versus you're like heavy with it.
• 45:07
  Dr. Chrissy: So thinking about that like coherent, show up authentic in my true care for the people around me and myself.
• 45:19
  Vickie: I love all those words you guys are using.
• 45:21
  Vickie: This is Vicky.
• 45:21
  Vickie: I feel like I'm pulling a little bit now of ideas from every one of you.
• 45:25
  Vickie: As you're talking especially joy, I think like joy and fun are so good because I feel like I need more of that.
• 45:27
  Vickie: In talking especially joy, I think like joy and fun are so good because I feel like I need more of that in my life too.
• 45:31
  Vickie: But I think when I was thinking about like my words for the year so I haven't shared this really with too many people, so you guys are getting information, but coming in January 2025, I'll actually be launching my counseling practice called Wild Grace Psychotherapy, and so I think those are my two words.
• 45:50
  Vickie: And when I've talked to like my family about it, they're like what does that even mean?
• 45:53
  Vickie: But like to me and like how I feel like that'll really step in, is just like finding that freedom, that authenticity, like that untamed fun.
• 46:03
  Vickie: As you said, Sam, I have chills as you're talking about this, I feel I know it's just like finding that ability to just find that creativity or adventure, I don't know and just softening and healing as like women, and so I don't know.
• 46:16
  Vickie: Those are like my two words, I think for the year.
• 46:20
  Carrie: So many people are blossoming.
• 46:21
  Carrie: I love it.
• 46:22
  Carrie: I don't know.
• 46:23
  Carrie: There's also like a practice.
• 46:25
  Carrie: If anybody has an Oracle card deck, you can always think starting off the year pulling a card each day like.
• 46:32
  Carrie: You shuffle them, you lay them out and you can close your eyes and see where you're guided and pull a card and see.
• 46:38
  Carrie: I love oracle cards because they're usually positive, so it's like the universe has got your back, or be bold today, and so that's something that I've done in the past and I love doing just an idea when you're talking about, like, maybe even, dr Chrissy, if you had your your jar of words, you could see what you pull each day.
• 46:56
  Carrie: Thank you.
• 46:57
  Carrie: That's another idea, but thank you so much for everybody being here.
• 47:00
  Carrie: I think we are feeling very empowered for 2025.
• 47:04
  Carrie: It feels like an era of empowered moms coming out and modeling, hopefully, hopefully that empowerment for our kids too, because they are watching everything we're doing and feeling all of it.
• 47:15
  Carrie: So thank you everyone for being here today.
• 47:17
  Carrie: Thank you for having us.
• 47:19
  Carrie: Thank you.
• 47:20
  Vickie: Yeah.
• 47:22
  Carrie: Well, that's a wrap.
• 47:23
  Carrie: Thanks so much for tuning in.
• 47:24
  Carrie: Changemakers.
• 47:25
  Carrie: This is Keri, and if you haven't done a review for us five stars and a little few words about what you've enjoyed in our podcast episodes we would really appreciate it.
• 47:35
  Carrie: If you guys would like to ever message me, I would love any questions you have or any feedback.
• 47:41
  Carrie: At info at heart to heart lifecom, we also have a brand new website which we're super excited to share.
• 47:48
  Carrie: It's heart to heartlifecom.
• 47:51
  Carrie: Thanks so much for tuning in and happy life, happy times.
• 47:55
  Carrie: Changemaker families.