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Transcript

I KNOW A GUY · The Karen Kenney Show

• 0:00
  Karen Kenney: It's the Karen Kenney show. Hey, you guys!
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  Welcome to the Karen Kenney Show. I'm super duper excited to
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  be here with you. And I'm wearing, you guys. It was just
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  my birthday. Can you believe, guys? Can we believe? I'm way
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  closer to 60 than I was. So I'm 58. It was just my birthday.
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  10-4, good buddy, and I got this awesome new Boston University,
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  my alma mater, my BU sweatshirt, and it's an old school one, and
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  it's got a wicked cute old school Boston Terrier on it. So
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  I'm super jazzed about that. So I had a fantastic weekend, but
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  I've been super duper busy for a bunch of different reasons, and
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  I don't say like I'm so busy like in a good way. It's just
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  like good things have been happening, but it's just been,
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  you know, one thing after another. But so this is just
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  gonna gonna be a quick little a quick little like love note from
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  my hat to yours. Okay, this is just something that I was
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  thinking about, and the universe gave me an opportunity with a
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  couple of stories, or I'll just tell one. We'll keep this short.
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  That kind of proves my point to what to what's going on. So, in
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  the age of the internet, right? I realize too, I'm starting to
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  sound like one of those old people back in the day, but in
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  the age of the internet. One of the things that I worry about
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  losing, you know, besides people knowing how to fucking spell,
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  besides people not being able to read cursive, like Jesus Christ,
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  are we in trouble, right? But there's all these like little
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  things, you know, as a Gen X kid, that I really value, and I
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  don't want us to lose as a society, and one of the things
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  is each other, and let me just talk about this really quick.
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  So, this past week, whatever hasn't been a full week yet.
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  It's been about a full week, whatever. It's been no, it
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  hasn't been a full week yet. But so I had a car, so my Toyota, I
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  had a Toyota rav4, which I loved. Okay, and but I had to
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  get a new one because my car was 16. It's almost 17 years old.
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  Okay, it was time. It was time, and I always drive Toyotas. I
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  like to drive them as far and as long as I can. And this is
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  getting to a point where it was like the engine was probably
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  going to keep going strong, but the body starts to rust. That's
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  one of the major problems here in New England, you know. So I
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  had to go cash shopping for the first time in like 12 years.
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  It's been a wicked long time. So I did all that, but here's the
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  thing: in that process of like thinking about getting getting
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  rid of my old one, getting a new one, da da da da. There were
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  sever. There were several times when I said I need to talk to my
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  guy about this, meaning not that I needed a man like a guy, but
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  you know how in New England or Massachusetts or New Hampshire
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  or whatever, we're always like, yeah, I got a plow guy, I got a
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  roofing guy, I got a car guy, I got a guy that does the thing,
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  right? And that guy could be a woman also. We just say guy,
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  right? And it's like you need a guy. We need a lot of guys. You
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  know what I'm saying? We need a lot of women. Just insert women
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  in there too. And what I mean by that is, a particular thing will
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  come up, and you'll think of this person and their expertise
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  or their body of work, and you're like, that's the guy to
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  call. That's the person I have to call to get their opinion,
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  their feedback, their thoughts. Like, what do you think about
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  this? Can I bounce this off of you, or whatever? So in this
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  case, I was like, I got to bring this vehicle before I buy it. I
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  got to bring it to my guy so he can look at it to give me the
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  thumbs up or the thumbs down, right? Because I don't want to
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  make a bad decision because things can look pretty. I'm
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  like, I need to see under this thing.
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  I need to see how the engines like sounds to my guy. So I
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  called my guy, and one of the things about in the age of the
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  internet is it's wicked easy to just go online and look shit up.
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  Right, you want to learn how to lay some tile? Go on YouTube. Go
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  find an influencer who has a course for 2990 whatever the
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  thing is, right? And so we stop doing human interaction, and we
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  start doing like video interaction, or we start doing
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  internet, robot, AI. AI is going to spit out the answer. Let me
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  tell you, AI can be wrong so many times, so there's a real
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  art and a craft, I think, to human beings who spend their
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  life's work like two, like what do they say, over 10,000 hours
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  getting wicked good at something. You know, you a guy
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  who has worked on like you know 50,000 cars over his lifetime.
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  He's been a mechanic for like 50 years or whatever, those are the
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  guys I want to talk to. I don't want to look it up now. Sure, is
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  it convenient once in a while to use the internet to be able to
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  see how a thing is done? Great, I get it, but I don't want us to
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  lose each other. And here's the. Thing we think about like
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  resources, right? And there's all kinds of resources. There's
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  finances. There's like money. There's time. There's like go on
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  and on and on, right? But you know what? The greatest resource
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  to me is is human beings, other humans, right? We we're all not
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  interested in the same things. So you have the people who are
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  like painters, like my friend Emily, her sweetie. He has a
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  painting business, right? You have people who work on cars.
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  You have builders. You have people like I have a friend
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  who's in fire, the fire protection services. Like he'll
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  come out and he like all the restaurants in New Hampshire,
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  and he cleans out the hoods and the grills and he recycles the
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  grease. He's the grease busters, right? So we all have our skill
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  sets, and how cool is it to know a guy, to know a gal, to know a
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  girl, to know a human that you can pick up the phone and say,
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  "Hey, I'm thinking about doing X, Y, and Z. I'm going to call
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  the guy. So whether it's your car guy, your plow guy, your
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  your your lawn guy, your your money guy, right? The the what
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  do I? I wrote one down here, the something guy. I don't even know
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  what that says. The laundry guy. Maybe you have a laundry guy. I
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  mean, if you work in the restaurant business, you
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  probably have a laundry guy who brings in, right? I know people
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  who are massage therapists. They use laundry service, whatever.
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  But your personal trainer, your coach, whatever it is, there are
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  guys, and there's something really fantastic about being
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  able to reach out to another human being and hear what they
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  have to say to make that connection, and like before we
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  had the internet and YouTube videos explaining things to us.
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  I was like, I made a little list. I'm like, you know what we
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  used to do back in the day? We had tudas. We had encyclopedias.
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  We had dictionaries. We had libraries. We had cliff notes.
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  We did apprenticeships. We did internships. We had mentorship.
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  It was that human to human relationship of passing down the
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  knowledge to one another, where you could learn by you know
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  kinetic hands on experience? We could go and talk to the guy,
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  and he could show us how to glue the two things together and to
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  use the clampy thing. What are those things called? When like
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  in the wood shop, when you clamp like two pieces of wood
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  together, right? You would learn from your auntie, who's a wicked
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  good god. Now, auntie, why aren't my veg? Why not my
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  cucumbers growing? Whatever it is, and I don't want us to lose
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  that. Now, most people, and there's going to be a caveat to
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  this, right? Most people love to be helpful. Most people don't
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  mind if you give them a call. Like yesterday, I was talking to
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  my friend who's a massage therapist, and I was like, "Hey,
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  can I pick your brain for a second?
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  Like, what do you use for? Because I go, "I think you use
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  like massage book or book massage or whatever it is for
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  your thing. What do you think about that, and we had a nice
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  conversation. She broke some things down for me, helped me to
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  make a more informed decision. Yeah, could I have just looked
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  it up and looked at all the price points and looked at all
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  the you know the little details and the things that what's
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  included in your package? Yeah, but I'm like, no, I can also
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  talk to my friend who's who's a smarty pants, you know, and has
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  been using this for years and years and years, and that
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  ability to spend time with another human, to ask about
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  their expertise, to get their opinion. Most people love to
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  give you their opinions. Most people love to be asked, right?
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  They like to share their wisdom, their knowledge, their
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  experience, their expertise, their point of view. I want to
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  just make one little caveat here, which is this: what we
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  don't want to do, though, is if somebody makes their living off
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  of the advice, like how do I say this? It's one thing to ask a
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  carpenter, like, "Hey, do you think this is this is a fair
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  price for like you know however much lumba, blah blah blah? Like
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  to ask a quick question. What we don't want to do is like I'll
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  put it in context. It'll be easy. Let's say somebody's a
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  coach, right? A life coach, a spiritual mentor, like whatever.
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  It's just an easy one for me because I'm in the in the in the
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  business. Um, or let's use a yoga teacher too. I could do it
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  off of any of these. If you want to ask a yoga teacher, like,
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  hey, you know, I got this crick in my back, or I did it. And
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  P.S. hashtag yoga yoga teachers are not doctors, right? But
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  let's just say you get a little little thing that's bugging you
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  in your back, and you're like, are there any stretches I could
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  do for this? Are there any postures? Any asanas? Right? Any
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  poses I could do for this? Da da da. It's one thing to ask them.
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  Can they show you one little quick little thing? It's another
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  thing to go to them and be like, Hey, can you write me out a
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  whole like 60 minute sequence? It's like no no no. That's how
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  people make their living, right? So often to pay them, right?
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  Don't just try to quote unquote pick their. It's like, hey, you
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  know, back in the day, people used to do this to me all the
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  time, and not just me. I have tons of friends in these
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  industries, right? And they'd be like, yeah, it's amazing. I'm
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  like, yeah. If you want to know what I think, hire me. You know
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  what I'm saying? If you want an individualized program, hire me.
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  I can't just like if I can't just walk around giving it away
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  to free to everybody because this is how you know you make
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  your living or whatever, so that's what I want to say. Most
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  of us love to be asked. We don't mind being helpful. We love to
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  give you a little here and there, right? Sometimes we'll,
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  you know, if we obviously, you know, sometimes you do just jump
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  in and help somebody and you do it for free, blah blah blah. But
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  you can't do it all the time. So just be mindful if you're asking
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  for somebody to to like to really now move into like a
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  client relationship without you actually you know reimbursing
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  them or paying them or whatever you know you're not just gonna
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  call a random therapist and go can I just ask you something
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  real quick they're gonna be like no book an appointment right
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  first of all because it's you know they have regulations and
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  stuff like that so just keep it in mind, but remember, there's
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  1000 more ways also for you to get experience. Like I said,
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  tutors, encyclopedias, dictionaries, libraries,
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  apprenticeship, mentorship, internships, whatever. It
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  doesn't always have to be online. Let's not lose the art
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  of hands-on experience. Let's not lose the art of spending
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  time with another human being.
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  Lived experience is a lot different than just reading
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  about something in a book, watching a video, talking to
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  somebody who knows. Like, like I'm thinking of all kinds of
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  Addisons and craft makers. Everything from pottery to like
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  people. I'm making this up. People who like I don't know do
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  macrame or crochet or knitting or whatever. Like, yeah, you can
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  watch a video, but it's a totally different thing to have
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  Aunt Sally put her hands on your hands and say, "Oh nope, you go
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  around the corner and slip the knot and choke the thing and do
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  the whatever. You know what I'm saying? So let's not lose sight
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  because it gets easier and easier and easier when internet
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  resources are so abundant. We can it can easily shrink our
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  world, so we just start to go to the machines for everything. And
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  I don't want us to lose our artisans. I don't want us to
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  lose our artists and our craftspeople and the people who
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  work with their hands, the people who are in the trades,
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  the people who have accumulated. So they they have forgotten more
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  shit than we will ever know about that subject that they're
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  an expert in. You know what I mean? So, I just think I just
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  wanted to give a little nod out to you know the people who have
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  helped me over the last few days. You know, reached out to
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  our buddy Mark, and I was like, Mark, I'm looking for this
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  particular pot for my Toyota. You know, I googled it. This is
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  what I found. This is how far I've gotten. I think this is the
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  pot number, but you know what? He works at a pot store, and I'm
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  like, hey, if he can find me the pot, I'm now going to give him
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  business, right? But I asked him, does this sound like the
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  right pot? And I was just so grateful that I had a car pots
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  guy that I could call. You know what I'm saying? So I just think
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  it's really important that we acknowledge these people, these
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  human beings who have had 10,000 hours of hands-on experience or
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  whatever, but the people who that human-to-human, hot-to-hat
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  connection, right? To be able to pick up the phone, and I know I
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  a lot of people have anxiety and get weird around picking up the
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  phone, and they think I don't want to bother them, and it's a
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  Saturday, and they're probably busy. You know what? That's what
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  voicemail is for. You know what? They can call you back or not
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  call you back. But I, I really were like, look, I'm probably
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  gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be dead in 30 years probably, and
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  whatever, right? It's not like people are gonna do whatever
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  they want to do, but I can't control what the world loses.
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  But I have a microphone and I have a voice, and I just want to
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  encourage us all to know who the quote-unquote guys are in your
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  life, right? To recognize the people with skill sets in
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  different areas, to appreciate them. If you've had a guy,
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  gratitude to them. Let them know you appreciate them, but don't
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  be afraid to reach out and make that human that human
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  connection. I think it in some ways it is a dying art. You know
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  what I mean. And always, of course, always respect their
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  time. Respect their you know offer offer to do something in
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  return. Don't be a person who just calls transactionally. You
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  know, and just when you need something, if you're just gonna
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  call people and like it's like fucking pick at them like
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  roadkill, just trying to take, take, take, take. It's not that,
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  right? But bring them some dunks, give them a little gift
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  certificate, acknowledge their expertise and that they've been
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  helpful to you. Okay, that's all I wanted to say. Quirky little
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  weird episode, but it's been on my heart and on my mind.
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  And one of the things I was thinking about the other day is
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  like I sometimes think about you know this podcast I you know
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  people always like well if you were making a statement about
• 14:48
  your podcast what would you say it's about and I'm like you know
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  in so many ways it's about leaving people better than how I
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  found them you know what I mean it's also about helping us learn
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  different tools and. Different spiritual principles and tell
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  some stories or whatever that just help us to feel less alone,
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  help us to be more relational to each other, but also how to
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  navigate this whole human being experience with a little more
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  love and a little more grace and a little more humor and just
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  like just helps us to kind of like you know to move through
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  the world, you know, maybe looking a little bit more for
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  the good, the beautiful, and the holy. But it's also, in some
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  ways, these little like I think, in some ways, it's like a little
• 15:28
  self-parenting, like a way to kind of reparent myself and tell
• 15:32
  myself things that I wish I had known or had been talked about.
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  You know, I didn't really have parents in a lot of ways growing
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  up. You know, story for another day. But I realized that I was
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  helped along the way by different people from different
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  areas, different skill sets, and and I was told, you know,
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  there's a lot of things I wasn't taught, a lot of things I wasn't
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  told. So this is just kind of like me also speaking to my
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  youngest self and reminding her of things. But also for those of
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  you out there who maybe you know didn't get get didn't get little
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  clues or tips or advice whatever along the way. So we're all in
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  this together. You know all the little kids in us. You know
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  people often say to me, "Oh, it's too bad you don't work with
• 16:14
  little kids because they could really use you know the things
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  that you teach and share and blah blah blah. And I'm always
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  like, "Yeah, but technically I am. I do. I work with little
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  kids in big adult bodies, right? Who are just navigating this
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  whole thing along with me. So, thank you so much for listening,
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  you guys. I appreciate you. I love you. I hope you're having a
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  fantastic day. And to those of you who reached out and wished
• 16:35
  me a happy birthday, it means a lot to me. I love my birthday.
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  And hey, here's to year 58. Let's see what this sucka is
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  going to be like. It's already off to a fantastic stat, and
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  even just you right now, if you can hear the sound of my voice,
• 16:47
  you know you're a part of what makes it fantastic. So thanks
• 16:49
  for tuning in to the Karen Kenney Show. I appreciate you
• 16:52
  listening to the podcast, and I hope you have a fantastic rest
• 16:55
  of your week wherever you go. May you leave the animals and
• 16:58
  the people and the planet and the environment and yourself
• 17:02
  better than how you found it. Wherever you go, may you and
• 17:05
  your love and your energy and your presence and your attitude
• 17:08
  and and your your hands on and human being relationships,
• 17:12
  right? Those connections that you continue to foster and
• 17:15
  continue to nurture and nourish. May they all be a blessing. Bye.
• 17:21
  Hey, thanks so much for listening to the show. I really
• 17:24
  love spending some time together. Now, if you dig the
• 17:27
  show or know someone that could benefit from this episode,
• 17:30
  please share it with them and help me to spread the good word
• 17:34
  and the love. And if you want to be in the know about all of my
• 17:37
  upcoming shenanigans, head on over To KarenKenney.com/signup
• 17:43
  and join my list. It'll be wicked fun to stay in touch.
• 17:48
  Bye.