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Power of Habit | Brittany Kelly | EP 132 · iRefresh Podcast

• 0:13
  Welcome to another episode of iRefresh. And we have Brittany Kelly coming back to part two. Yes. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. So today I really wanted to continue our conversation from the season of waiting and being intentional in that active season. And it's not just a passive season, but an active season. But today I want to kind of go into a deeper conversation of the power of habit and
• 0:40
  within that waiting season. So I think it's, like we said before, it's really important that, you know, we don't see the waiting season as, you know, a sit back. I'm just, you know, waiting on God to do His thing, but we're actually intentional with our time and growth within that season. And so one of the things that I've learned in my season of waiting is
• 1:07
  being active in habit, which I like to call the habit loop, which I've learned about, it's really good. And it has three sections. And the first one is cue, the second one is routine, and the third is reward. So an example of that would be, first you would cue. So maybe you wake up in the morning,
• 1:28
  Then you would routine. What is your routine in the morning? Perhaps it's waking up, taking a glass of water, taking your vitamins and minerals to get healthy, to have your time of prayer and meditation with the Lord, to build up your spirit, to be in tune with His voice for that day. And what is that doing? That cue, that routine is causing what reward?
• 1:57
  It is setting you up for success for a successful day. It is building up your strength with those vitamins and those minerals. And you're building your strength up to maybe you have a really hectic day ahead and those extra vitamins and minerals are going to keep your steam going. Or that time of meditation and prayer.
• 2:19
  is keeping you in tune with the Holy Spirit and telling you what to do and maybe even giving you a way of doing something in a creative and new way that you hadn't thought about because the Holy Spirit's there telling you. And it's just preparing you for that day ahead. You know, those are habits when you say that.
• 2:45
  When you create a routine, you know, I've heard 21 days is, you know, a typical. But when we had a guest speaker last year talking to us, we really, it's actually more like seven to eight weeks worth of time.
• 3:00
  creating a constant, consistent pattern in our life so that it stays. I would agree with that. And I'm like, you know, that makes more sense because you're like, we can survive 21 days. But I think too, when you're looking at a fresh new opportunity where you want to change something in your life or modify because you're like, okay, I'm analyzing myself. I'm like, this is an area that I need to change. I want to, I'm not in my happy space here.
• 3:27
  I think that when we can look and we can pull back and find like, okay, what are the things that I can actually stop doing? Because those habits are not been maybe healthy for me emotionally or what have you. And I see even when you talk about the physical and the mental health wise, the other part of that spirit thing is when you have one of those three areas where you're not feeding your spirit and you're,
• 3:53
  mental capacity and then your physical capacity. One of those elements where you're not creating the habit together, it doesn't flow together. And the Lord's created as one with three parts.
• 4:05
  And I can see where there's a breakdown and when we don't have a habit for all three areas of our life. Exactly. Exactly. It does create a breakdown. And it's so important to keep those all in line. And that's where we have to understand where balance is concerned. You know, I think...
• 4:24
  Ever since I was probably eight years old, I've been learning or we've all been in a stage of learning balance within our lives. And it's in all aspects, spiritual, mental, physical, financial, like we're continuing to learn. And that's where growth is so incredible.
• 4:41
  Because if we are listening and obeying the word of God, then we are in a place of growth, continual growth. Because that's where it comes in Proverbs. In Proverbs, it says that you should love correction.
• 5:00
  And I know that's kind of a funny thing to add to this, but it's true because when we're in a season of waiting, oftentimes our season is a season of tweaking or correction. And how quickly we're going to get through that season depends on how quickly we're going to listen and obey and change, either change that bad habit or add a good habit to that season.
• 5:29
  That's good. And it really is finding out what we are doing in our life. Are these good things for my life? Are they propelling me towards the vision and the destiny that God called me to? Or do they need to be removed or changed slightly? Exactly. And you've talked about that too, about just like a little bit of tweaking. Yeah, that's good.
• 5:46
  There's a scripture that I really love, and it's in Psalms 130, and it's 5 through 6. And this is the NIV version, which I really love. But it says, I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits. And in His word, I put my hope. In His word, I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning.
• 6:09
  And it says it twice, more than watchmen wait for the morning. And it's really interesting because in the Hebraic translations, in Hebrew, when you repeat a word twice, it is with passion and emphasis. So I love that part because it says, I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning. And I kind of go back to the story of Nehemiah.
• 6:35
  where he was a cupbearer and he had this title of the cupbearer and he was in the presence of the king. And what happened in that moment? He was listening. He knew the need and he had this burden on his heart.
• 6:51
  But in that waiting season, he was waiting for the Lord to give him the opportunity to speak to the king so that he could go and rebuild the wall of Jerusalem. But in that waiting period, wasn't it that he was pretty sad? He was.
• 7:07
  And I, you know, it's funny when you say that, because I just studied that recently too, the background with that waiting. I don't know if you've read it too, is to go before the king in his position with sadness, he could potentially have been executed. Because that particular king in that day would not allow sadness to be around him. And so you're like, whoa.
• 7:29
  You know, literally, it gets life and death with gratitude. Like, I don't think that, I've like never heard that, but I read about it. And I'm like, oh, wow. We don't understand like how critical, like he was going before the king and he was sad, which was detrimental to his own livelihood. So, you know, it makes me also think of another story where someone had to go before a king and it was to their detriment. And that was the story of Esther. Yes. I feel like there's so many examples of that where people,
• 7:58
  people had to walk out a season of turmoil, but they're continuing to walk with the Lord, to walk out that season and take courage in that season. And what does Joshua 1.9 tell us? Be strong and courageous in the Lord. And those are those moments where they have to step out in faith. And if you think about it,
• 8:26
  That waiting season, when you're actively waiting in that season, your level of trust, your level of faith in the Lord skyrockets because you don't have anyone else to lean on except for the Lord. It's a good position. It's a great position to put yourself in. And that's also a place of surrender.
• 8:49
  And I think one habit that I've learned this past year is a habit of surrender. Because as a woman, it's very easy for me to worry. It's very easy for me to step into a place of anxiety. Lord, I've stepped out of this position. I don't know what's ahead of me, but I'm trusting in you. But in that day-to-day life,
• 9:17
  enemy will bring upon you anxiety and worry and tell you, you know, you're not good enough. You don't have the skill sets for this. You may not have a job in this or that place. And you can easily fall into that. You can easily fall into that. But that's where you walk out your trust and your faith in the Lord.
• 9:41
  That's good. Okay. So tell me what other things you find that as far as the habits in this waiting that are helpful to us. I think aligning your habits with your purpose. Okay. So that has always been a very scary word to me, purpose. And it might be scary to some other people out there because...
• 10:05
  For me, there was always this sense of, what is my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing? And how am I supposed to act that out? Because I'm the type of person, if you give me a list, I will follow it and I will get it done. Lord. And so there's been many conversations where I've been, Lord, tell me what to do and I will do it. But there's been many seasons where the Lord's silent.
• 10:31
  And he's waiting for me to wait. And he doesn't want me to do anything. He simply wants me to trust. So that's the opposite side of things. You can be actively waiting.
• 10:49
  But sometimes the Lord just needs to say, I need your hands off of it. Because as women, we always want to fix things. It's hard. It's almost like it's a natural thing that we have to see. We have to be very intentional then to surrender those back, even throughout the day. Exactly. You know, when you realize that. And, you know, I think that my mother would talk about sometimes, too, and if the only thing that she knew because of her health, the only thing she knew to do was to be in his presence to pray. Mm-hmm.
• 11:17
  could she find contentment? And she really, God taught her that. And because she didn't have any other options. You know, and I think for us, how can we prevent ourselves from getting to a place where we finally surrender
• 11:34
  when the Lord has just been wanting our attention, or would you not tarry with me, right, to pray through on behalf of someone else, which is a surrender of our will and our own desires. And even if God puts somebody on your heart, I've had this, he puts somebody on my heart that...
• 11:50
  I have to make sure I'm surrendering my attitude towards them. And yet he keeps putting my heart to pray for them. And that's a good checking of my spirit and my heart because now I know, and he does it, he also changes my heart because it's hard to pray for someone that you might have a challenge towards, right? Yes. So there's so many incredible lessons that are interwoven in that. Yes. And, you know, that is the power of habit right there because maybe it's a habit that the Lord is—
• 12:19
  teaching you in of you have done this season this way before. Right. And has it worked out? No. That reminds me of the story of the Israelites. You've already done this before. Right. Why don't you try it my way now? Yeah. And so that one habit of praying for your enemy, leaving a situation where you leave it in grace and you leave it in peace and you leave it in love rather than,
• 12:50
  shunning or patronizing or hatred. I'm choosing to step out of this in love and peace and joy.
• 13:01
  no matter the situation, that's what you take into the next season. And so maybe the Lord's taking you through that to build that habit up to go into the next season. So we're taking surrender to the new season? Surrender to the new season. Okay, tell me if there's something other that's not as painful. Okay, so practically speaking, I feel like little habits always cascade into bigger habits. I think if you really want to start with something small,
• 13:29
  It might be a skill set that you want to develop. Let's say you want one day your purpose and your dream and the desire of your heart is to become the owner of a bakery. Let's just say that. Then what's the habit that you're going to build upon? Well, the first step would be
• 13:52
  taking a baking class, you know, learning how to decorate a cake, stepping into maybe a master's in business so that you know how to run a business and know how to run employees. Then maybe a financial class because you have to learn how to, to develop your financial skills. And when tax season comes, you know how to handle that, you know? So what are the steps that you take? But, you know,
• 14:21
  Sometimes though, you can think, oh, I want to be the owner of a bakery, but then everything starts to get overwhelming. What do you do then? You know, it's like, oh my goodness, how do I handle this? Well, what's the first thing you could do? What's the one thing you can do today? And I feel like a lot of times people get stuck in that waiting season of moving forward because it gets overwhelming.
• 14:49
  And so something, because I used to be a teacher, something I used to tell my students, and I'll ask you this question too, is practice makes... It's perfect. But it doesn't... It makes perfect whatever you're practicing. Yes. And that's not necessarily what you're wanting. Right. But what you are working on, you will perfect even if it's a mistake. Yes. Yes.
• 15:12
  That's true. But I would always correct my students and tell them, practice doesn't make perfect. Practice makes progress. We will never ever ever ever ever ever ever be perfect in anything. Only God is perfect. But we can always get better at something. We can always be progressive
• 15:36
  in our skill, progress in our learning, progress in our habit. Yeah, that's good. Well, so because sometimes messing up
• 15:49
  Fear of failure will stop somebody in their tracks. But if you can push past that and go, okay, what can I do today? What's the small thing I can do today? Let's say, you know, you want to build that bakery. What's the one thing I can do today? Okay, I can get on a website and I can start, I can just get my URL.
• 16:11
  That's one thing. Did you build a bakery? No. But you've got your URL. Are you moving forward? Yes. Is it a little step? Yes. But is it still a step? Yes. And so I think it's really important to continue to grow that we don't have to, you know, do something different.
• 16:35
  profound in the first month as long as we continue to move forward little by little by little. And that is the power of habit. So let's say you got your URL. What's the thing you can do tomorrow? All right, I got my URL. Now I need to start looking at people who can build a website, if you don't know, have those skills. Or I can create a business card.
• 17:03
  Do I have the URL? Yep. Do I have the business? No, but I have the business card. So now I'm making that step forward. So it's that process we're learning. And so once we do that movement forward, how is it that we can kind of summarize? What is it all the things that you find are habits that will help perfect us in that waiting process? Well, I think having long-term goals is so important in that waiting season.
• 17:33
  Um, what is your long-term goal? I want to be married one day. Well, if you have a long-term goal of being married, but there's no one in your life right now, that's okay. Those steps that you take day by day are what is going to get you there. So instead of spending your time in a distracted world of, you know,
• 17:59
  reading a romance novel, that's not going to help you in the long term. That's not going to help you. But what is going to help you is to get into your word and learn how to be a Proverbs 31 woman. What is going to help you is to pray for your future spouse, because what you're doing now without that person is what you will do later with that person. So if you're not praying for him today, then you will,
• 18:27
  In that season of marriage, will you pray for him then? You're building a habit. So build that habit now and pray him out for tomorrow. Instead of reading a romance novel, sit and read marriage and family books that teach you how to become the woman that you want to be for him, how to be a good person of conflict resolution, how to be a good person of conflict resolution,
• 18:55
  How to be strong in communication. A lot of us today are struggling with communicational habits. And so learning that habit and then putting it into practice. That's good. Yeah. Going back into the habits. Those are really good. As you summarize, how do you want to encourage people to stay the course and stay faithful in?
• 19:18
  in creating the habits that they're really wanting to, and the feeling the Lord's leading them to. Because I think if you understand, you can't do it without the efforts of the Lord. The Lord's really got to call you into, and a lot of times it's the Holy Spirit prompting you anyway. So how is it that you can tell our audience as we're close, is what is it we can do to get to that place of where it becomes a habit? I think it goes back to that scripture that I was saying.
• 19:45
  in Psalms 130, and it says, I wait on the Lord and I wait with my whole being. I wait with my whole being, mind, body, spirit. So the way we can be actively waiting on the Lord is by, of course, being in his presence, because the closer we are to him,
• 20:12
  the more we hear and the more we hear, the more we want to obey. We want to obey that because we know that on the other side of our obedience is his blessing. And so the faster we're willing to obey, the faster his blessing comes. So I think that would be it. As well as I think I would just encourage you in your waiting series to understand,
• 20:39
  Ask the Lord how to connect your waiting with his purpose. What are the two and how do I combine those two to move forward? How do I start small?
• 20:52
  Starting small is so important. Don't think of the big picture, although there are a lot of us big picture people out there. Try to start small. What's the first thing that I can do to build towards that purpose? And then going back to that saying that practice makes progress. That's so good. Well, thank you, Brittany. Appreciate that. And we want to encourage you.
• 21:19
  with some of these habits, look at our show notes and be a reminder and begin to write down some things that the Lord's prompting you to look at. And then on that, we want to look at the resources we have that will help you in that process. Like she talked about as being in the word.
• 21:36
  We have a lot of different topics on how to pray the scriptures in your life. And a lot of the podcasts are encouraging you in your walk with the Lord. We want you to take advantage of those at irrefresh.net. And if you need prayer and encouragement, we want to be here for you. Actually, Brittany is part of my iRefresh team, and we love and are passionate about wanting to help you to where God has you. If you're stuck in a place...
• 22:01
  It doesn't have to be for very long because the Lord wants to, one, sometimes deliver you out of, or he wants to teach you in the process of what you're going through. So we want to encourage you to use those tools and then help us help you by letting us know. Make comments. Reach out to us. Let us know what has been a benefit in these sessions, and then what could you use in the future so we can help to provide some of the podcasts to better benefit you in growing in your spiritual walk with the Lord.