Latest / Natty Unfiltered / Money Mindset For Moms: From Guilt To Growth

Transcript

Money Mindset For Moms: From Guilt To Growth · Natty Unfiltered

• 0:00
  Foreign.
• 0:03
  Hey, it's Natalia. Welcome back to Nadian Filtered
• 0:08
  podcast. The space where we get real about identity, confidence and
• 0:12
  rediscovering yourself beyond motherhood. Why do we
• 0:16
  feel guilty for wanting more? Like more freedom,
• 0:20
  more money, more joy, like having ambition
• 0:24
  somehow makes us less of a moment.
• 0:28
  Today I want to talk about shifting that
• 0:31
  guilt into growth. Because wanting more for your family
• 0:36
  doesn't make you greedy, it makes you wise.
• 0:41
  Now, if you have ever felt bad about wanting financial independence
• 0:45
  or building a business while raising kids,
• 0:48
  this one's for you. Because the guilt we carry
• 0:53
  around money, it's real and it's heavy,
• 0:57
  but it's also something we can change.
• 1:00
  I used to, I don't know if I've ever
• 1:04
  really like felt so really like guilty
• 1:08
  for wanting things. I think when kids were smaller and
• 1:12
  I, you know, I was working full time job,
• 1:17
  I wanted to be more present for the
• 1:21
  kids. I wanted to see them grow up. I wanted to see their
• 1:25
  like first everything. And I
• 1:30
  think that inside it was just like, I know that the time
• 1:34
  is going to go by fast and I wanted to be present for that.
• 1:38
  And at the same time, when I wanted to also build different
• 1:42
  businesses, I mean, I had that fear of failure which
• 1:46
  kind of pushed me back and prevented me from going
• 1:50
  all in. But at the same time,
• 1:54
  I wanted to be really present for
• 1:58
  my kids. And I felt like if I wasn't,
• 2:02
  then I wasn't the mom that
• 2:06
  I wanted to be. So I wanted to
• 2:10
  talk about why so many moms feel
• 2:14
  guilty for wanting more and how to break
• 2:18
  that cycle for good. I think sometimes as moms we
• 2:23
  have this thing, okay, I'm going to work, I'm working
• 2:27
  full time job, then by the time I get home, I need to make food.
• 2:31
  I don't really have that much time to spend with the kids, but I have
• 2:34
  to go to work because I need to make the living to, you know,
• 2:38
  to pay for daycare, to pay for the things that we need to pay for
• 2:41
  the things for the family, to pay for the vacations and whatever the kids need.
• 2:46
  And we fall sometimes in that guilt that while
• 2:51
  we also want to build the career,
• 2:55
  we want to be present for our kids, for the family.
• 2:58
  And you have that kind of like a push and
• 3:02
  pull within yourself. What is
• 3:06
  the right thing to do. I like,
• 3:09
  I want to invest in my career, I want to advance in my company.
• 3:14
  But then that means that working longer hours
• 3:19
  and not being there for my kids and
• 3:24
  wanting that to move up in the company and wanting these
• 3:28
  things or like wanting to open up the business because you want to
• 3:32
  have that financial success, financial independence.
• 3:36
  But what does it, who's then who
• 3:40
  is suffering at the end? And then as moms, we have that
• 3:45
  guilt of when maybe I'm not doing
• 3:49
  enough. Do I want all of this and then sacrifice
• 3:53
  not being there for my kids. And I know it's probably not every
• 3:58
  mom feels like that, but I think a lot of us
• 4:02
  do or have felt that if you've had like little kids and they
• 4:06
  grown up and, you know, they're like gone on
• 4:10
  to like high school and college. But I think at some point that
• 4:15
  guilt of wanting more, wanting that financial freedom,
• 4:21
  we always kind of think of okay at like,
• 4:25
  what cost. And I think also the cultural
• 4:29
  conditioning plays a big role. We were
• 4:33
  taught that being a good mom means self sacrifice,
• 4:37
  that if we're not exhausted, we're not doing enough.
• 4:42
  Like, we see other moms online who seem perfectly content
• 4:46
  without a business, and we
• 4:49
  start questioning our own desires. I think before sort
• 4:55
  of the social media, you just would talk to your friends or like
• 4:59
  other moms in schools or daycares. But as
• 5:03
  social media came into play and a lot of us spend more
• 5:08
  time on social media and we see that there
• 5:12
  are some moms who are content just, you know, they're, they're just a
• 5:17
  mom. And then if you feel like, okay, but I'm driving,
• 5:20
  thriving and striving to, you know,
• 5:23
  have my business or have my businesses or work my job and
• 5:28
  climb that ladder, why is it that I
• 5:31
  feel guilty for doing that and
• 5:35
  I'm just not content with, you know, like, being a stay at
• 5:40
  home mom? Because being a stay at home mom is also tough.
• 5:43
  It's tough to stay home with the kids and, you know, and raise
• 5:47
  them and just be consumed in that house.
• 5:52
  Not, I wouldn't say culture, but like house chores.
• 5:56
  It's not easy. And that's why I think sometimes a lot of moms also go
• 6:00
  back to work because they rather be at work than,
• 6:04
  you know, stay at home and just
• 6:08
  be a stay at home mom. And they also want to get, you know,
• 6:12
  get away from the house and just be out with
• 6:16
  other people, which is nothing. You know, it's like you do what works
• 6:20
  best for you and your family. There's no
• 6:24
  right or wrong way. That's how I feel.
• 6:28
  I feel that somewhere along the way, ambition got
• 6:32
  labeled as selfish, especially, you know,
• 6:36
  for mom. I don't think you need a permission to
• 6:39
  want more. Wanting to grow doesn't mean you're not grateful.
• 6:44
  It means you Believe you're capable. And you
• 6:48
  know, money is neutral. It's energy. It's what you do with it
• 6:52
  that gives it meaning. So there's nothing wrong with wanting
• 6:56
  more, with wanting to grow yourself, with wanting
• 7:00
  to open up the business and grow the business because
• 7:04
  you want to bring more money for the family,
• 7:08
  you know, for yourself. Because money, it gives you
• 7:12
  that freedom. It gives you that opportunity to do things. You're able
• 7:16
  to go on vacations, you're able to go to the store
• 7:20
  and buy things for the. For yourself and for the kids. You're able to have
• 7:26
  saving costs. You're able to put away money for the kids and for
• 7:30
  the future. And sometimes, you know, yes, you can be
• 7:34
  working and it's still not enough. But I
• 7:38
  think that having that sort of guilt
• 7:43
  for wanting more and think
• 7:48
  that, okay, well, these other moms, they don't
• 7:52
  feel, you know, they don't feel guilty. They're content with what they have.
• 7:56
  And then you start questioning yourself. And if you're
• 8:00
  doing the right thing because you want to have more,
• 8:05
  I think that the kind of the mini takeaway
• 8:09
  is that you can love your kids and love your goals at the
• 8:13
  same time. One doesn't cancel out the other.
• 8:17
  When you do something that makes you happy and brings you joy,
• 8:21
  your kids will see that, your family will see that,
• 8:25
  and I think that they would appreciate you
• 8:29
  being happy and you doing what you love. So many
• 8:33
  of us live with this underlining belief that there's never
• 8:38
  enough, not enough money, time,
• 8:41
  opportunity. That belief keeps us
• 8:45
  stuck. So, you know, money is
• 8:49
  not something to chase, it's something to attract through confidence,
• 8:53
  alignment, and purpose. And you
• 8:57
  kind of have to, like, reframe. Reframe money as a tool for
• 9:01
  freedom and memories. Money isn't evil. It's what pays
• 9:05
  for your kids, experiences, your family, vacations,
• 9:08
  your. Your peace of mind. You'll never attract abundance
• 9:14
  from place of shame. So, like, when you stop
• 9:17
  being afraid of money, it starts working for you.
• 9:21
  And I know that sometimes it doesn't apply to everybody. You know,
• 9:25
  some of us feel like, okay, yes,
• 9:28
  I want as I want more, I want
• 9:31
  more money and whatever. If I have to work harder
• 9:36
  and longer, that's what I need to do. And there
• 9:40
  are some people who look at it different way.
• 9:43
  They feel like, I don't need to have that money. There's more,
• 9:48
  more, more important things in this
• 9:51
  life. I always kind of feel that,
• 9:54
  well, it's okay to want to have,
• 9:59
  you know, more money. As I said,
• 10:02
  money gives you the opportunities.
• 10:06
  And I think like nowadays with
• 10:10
  everything is being, you know, expensive,
• 10:15
  you trying to just at times
• 10:18
  to get by working for more.
• 10:22
  And sometimes it's kind of like working smarter, not harder. And there's
• 10:26
  so many different ways nowadays to be making
• 10:31
  money, not just working 9 to 5 and
• 10:36
  just kind of like besides that, like learning other skills which
• 10:40
  I also see so many moms getting to like TikTok
• 10:44
  shop, Amazon reviewer or drop drop
• 10:49
  shipping. There's so many ways that you
• 10:54
  can make supplemental income and sometimes then people turn into
• 10:58
  that supplemental income and being their full time income then
• 11:03
  like why not, why not explore those
• 11:07
  venues. Money doesn't change who you are, it amplifies
• 11:11
  who you've always been. I think sometimes that we've
• 11:15
  noticed that, oh, somebody didn't have that much money, then they came
• 11:19
  into money and they completely sort of change how they behave,
• 11:23
  how they, how they act towards others.
• 11:27
  And I, I know that before that
• 11:31
  I had to realize is that that person
• 11:35
  or those people, they've always been like that. They kind of
• 11:39
  had those maybe feelings or behaviors suppress once
• 11:44
  they came into having that financial
• 11:48
  abundance, financial success, the true
• 11:53
  them just came out that were,
• 11:56
  they were that same person all along. So like every time
• 12:00
  you feel guilty for wanting more, remember this. Your kids are
• 12:04
  watching you model what's possible. And so the lesson
• 12:09
  you're teaching your kids is how to dream big, how to work
• 12:13
  for what you want, how to believe in themselves. Those are
• 12:17
  like really three such important things. Because kids watch
• 12:21
  everything that you do. They watch how you behave with others.
• 12:25
  They watch you how you behave with your significant other. They watch
• 12:29
  you how you make different choices. And they
• 12:33
  also watch you how you choose to be either content
• 12:37
  with certain things or content with your life.
• 12:40
  And then when they growing up, yeah sometimes they can
• 12:46
  act the same way that you have or they're gonna turn around and say,
• 12:50
  you know what? I want more than what my parents had or I want
• 12:54
  more than what my mom had. I wanna go,
• 12:56
  you know, a step or 10 steps further.
• 13:01
  So you're not just making money, you're breaking patterns,
• 13:04
  you're rewriting what financial stability looks like in your family.
• 13:10
  And you know, it's like I had to step
• 13:13
  out of my comfort zone so many times and learn new skills
• 13:17
  and go and try to start
• 13:22
  new businesses and get on a new field. Because I wanted more.
• 13:26
  I wanted that financial abundance, I wanted that financial
• 13:30
  independence, I wanted that financial opportunity and
• 13:34
  be sort of free in a sense that not
• 13:39
  worrying about the bills and being able to have savings on
• 13:43
  being able to go on vacation, being able to go to the store and buy
• 13:47
  the things that I want for myself,
• 13:50
  for my kids. I mean, within obviously the
• 13:54
  budget and not feel guilty for wanting
• 13:58
  more and still be me and still be grateful and appreciative for what,
• 14:02
  for what I have. So, like, growth doesn't
• 14:05
  mean leaving behind the role of mom. It means expanding
• 14:09
  who you are beyond it. Your success
• 14:13
  is not selfish. It's an act of love. And that's,
• 14:17
  that's how you need to look at it.
• 14:21
  So some of the like, actionable, like mindset shift that you
• 14:25
  can do is stop apologizing
• 14:29
  for wanting more. Just do it and don't look
• 14:34
  back, don't apologize for it. Talk about money,
• 14:38
  openly normalize it with your kids, you know, your significant other,
• 14:42
  your friends. Yeah, don't like, I don't mean like go and brag
• 14:46
  about it and say, oh, this is how much money I'm making and everything,
• 14:49
  but just don't shy a wife, shy away
• 14:52
  from it, especially like with your kids and just teach them about,
• 14:57
  hey, you know, like you, you can be anything
• 15:01
  you want. You can, you know, the sky is the limit of how much money
• 15:05
  you can make. You just want to have that desire and
• 15:08
  want and mainly just do what you love. And money
• 15:13
  are just gonna come also celebrate small wins.
• 15:18
  So sometimes, a lot of times we've, we wait for
• 15:22
  something big to happen to celebrate and pop that, you know,
• 15:26
  bottle of champagne. But celebrating small win a long way.
• 15:30
  So let's say if you get into like digital affiliate marketing and
• 15:35
  you think, well, I'm going to celebrate one, I'm going to make like hundreds of
• 15:38
  dollars or thousands of dollars. But even the $10 affiliate sale
• 15:43
  or side hustle is a milestone and
• 15:47
  celebrate that. When you celebrate the small wins, the small wins
• 15:51
  followed by the big wins, another thing is invest in your growth,
• 15:55
  education, mentorship skills. That's something
• 15:59
  that I'm very big on. If you want to grow as
• 16:03
  a person or in, in your business, you always have to
• 16:07
  seek the continued education, seek somebody
• 16:11
  to mentor you. If you, let's say if you have a 9 to
• 16:15
  5 job at work, you have,
• 16:19
  you have like maybe like classes or some
• 16:24
  continued education that the company provide.
• 16:28
  And like the more like if you get some sort of certification that
• 16:32
  goes big in whatever that you might be doing, whatever you feel that you're in.
• 16:35
  But if you're not going to continue to learn and seek
• 16:39
  education, you're just going to be stagnant.
• 16:43
  You're not going to really go that far. So investing
• 16:47
  in your growth. It's, you know, it's, it's crucial
• 16:51
  in my opinion. And another things I
• 16:55
  want to say is that detach money from your worth.
• 17:00
  I want to say that you're not behind, you're building.
• 17:03
  And that's something to be proud of. So once you
• 17:07
  put your mindset and you want to say, okay, I want to build a
• 17:11
  business. I want to learn the new skills. I want to do
• 17:16
  something online because there's so many opportunities for
• 17:20
  you to be present online and have a
• 17:24
  business online. Take the steps
• 17:28
  and be and just go for it.
• 17:31
  And don't stop. Moms. Stop apologizing
• 17:36
  for wanting a better life. The money you make, the business you build,
• 17:40
  the dreams you chase, they don't take away from your
• 17:44
  family. They just expand it. You're not selfish for
• 17:48
  wanting freedom. You're setting the example that your kids will someday
• 17:52
  thank you for it. And that's something that you always need to remember.
• 17:57
  I want to thank you for tuning in to Nati Unfiltered podcast.
• 18:00
  If this episode hit home for you, please save it,
• 18:04
  share it, and pass it along to another mom who needs to hear this and
• 18:08
  remember your story, your pace, your lane is enough.
• 18:13
  Keep rediscovering who you are because you're worth every
• 18:17
  bit of it.