Latest / Revolution of Purpose Podcast / ROP Solo Episode 34 Unfamiliar Doesn't Mean Wrong

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ROP Solo Episode 34 Unfamiliar Doesn't Mean Wrong · Revolution of Purpose Podcast

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What if the reason your next level feels uncomfortable isn't
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because something is wrong? What if it's uncomfortable simply
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because you've never been this version of yourself before? I think
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sometimes we make a huge mistake. We confuse unfamiliar with
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unsafe. We confuse uncomfortable with unaligned.
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And because something doesn't feel natural yet, we assume
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that we must be going in the wrong direction. But what if the opposite is
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true? What if the discomfort that you're experiencing isn't
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always a signal of going backwards?
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Sometimes it's simply the sensation of
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expansion. That's what we're going to talk about here today,
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because your next level probably isn't going to feel natural when you
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first get there, and it's not supposed to. Welcome to
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the Revolution of Purpose podcast. I'm your host, John Street, and each week
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we bring you conversations with thought leaders, entrepreneurs, and individuals
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who have aligned their life with purpose and created
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extraordinary resilience. So I'm going to live through it and accept it radically with grace
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and hope and love. I mean, I would be proud to be in this council.
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It was an honor. I had so much fun. Tune in every Monday for the
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Revolution of Purpose solo show and every Thursday for Revolution of Purpose
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Conversations. Welcome back to the Revolution of Purpose podcast.
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I'm John Streit, and this is the place where we talk about purpose,
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mindset, identity, and becoming the person capable
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of creating the extraordinary life that you were designed to
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live. Today, I want to talk about something that I think
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we misunderstand about growth. We expect
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growth to feel good. We expect alignment to feel peaceful
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and calm. We expect that when we finally start moving
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toward the life that we really want, something inside
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us is going to say, yes, this is it. And this feels completely natural.
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But very often, my friends, It doesn't go that way.
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You see, sometimes growth just feels awkward.
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Sometimes success feels uncomfortable. Shifting the paradigm
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of thinking that you've had so many times for years and years and years is
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going to feel almost wrong at first.
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Sometimes that opportunity that you prayed for shows up and suddenly you just
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get terrified. Sometimes fear just comes over you
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and you finally get into the room you wanted to be in, but part of
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you starts wondering if you belong there at all. Sometimes you start
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to make more money. You get the bigger client. You step
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onto the bigger stage. You enter into that healthy relationship
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and establish the boundaries. You start behaving like the person that you said you wanted
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to become. And then something inside of you starts screaming,
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wait a minute, I don't recognize this. We don't do this.
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This is not who I am. And that's where a lot of people start
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to retreat, not because the new life is wrong and not because the
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new life isn't what they desired. But just because it's the
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old life that felt familiar. I love the way
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Bob Proctor used to talk about making a decision as crushing through
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a terror barrier. You see, every time you make a decision, you make
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it twice. You make it when you decide you're going to do the
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thing, when you make that decision, and then you make it the second time when
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you actually put the action behind
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that decision. And that's when you have to bust through the fear. That's when you
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have to push through that terror barrier that is within your
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own mind. I want you to really hear this.
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Familiar does not necessarily mean right,
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and unfamiliar does not necessarily mean wrong.
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We are creatures of habit. We are creatures of familiarity.
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We, we create our patterns. We develop expectations
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about ourselves and about our life. And then over time,
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those expectations become part of our self-image.
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Our self-image becomes almost like an internal thermostat.
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It establishes what feels normal for us.
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How successful you are, how visible you allow yourself
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to become, how much money feels normal for you,
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how you expect other people to treat you, how confidently
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you speak, the opportunities that you believe belong
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to you and belong to people like you. Even how much joy
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you allow yourself to experience. And when you start moving beyond
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that established normal, your internal thermostat can start
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trying to pull you back, not because the old normal was better,
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but simply because you knew it. You recognize how it
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felt to live that old normal. And I think this is where we
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sometimes misinterpret what we're feeling. We think
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This feels uncomfortable, so I probably shouldn't
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do it. Or this feels scary, so maybe that's telling me
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I'm not ready. Or this just doesn't feel natural,
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so maybe this isn't really me. But hold on a minute.
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Of course it doesn't feel natural yet. You've not been that person
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before. You haven't normalized this new way of living before.
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You haven't normalized what it means to start achieving your
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goals before at this level. You know, you can think about
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it like learning to drive a car. When you first started driving, you were conscious
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of everything. You know, where are my hands? Are they at 10
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and 2? You know, where is the brake? How close am I
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to that other car in front of me? Am I inside the lines?
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What speed am I going? You know, check the mirror, check the
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other mirror, check the blind spot. Everything required conscious
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thought. And granted, driving a car should still require conscious
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thought, but the more you drive somewhere, now the
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more you can do it unconsciously. The more you, you barely even
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remember the portions of the drive. And what changed? What changed
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is the act of driving became familiar. And identity
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works in a similar way. At first, that new behavior,
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it just requires a lot of intention. It requires a lot of focus.
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You have to consciously choose your decisions. You have to practice
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becoming that new person until eventually what once
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required courage becomes normal. You know, there's an idea
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in Zen Buddhism called shoshin. It's often translated
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as beginner's mind, and it is the willingness to
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approach something with openness without demanding that you already
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know everything. And I love that idea when we talk about
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personal growth, because when you move into a new level of your life,
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you are in some ways a beginner yet again. And Lord,
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don't we hate that? You know, don't we hate that feeling of
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incompetence? You know, that feeling of uncertainty,
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that feeling of not knowing exactly what we're doing.
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I mean, it's natural to want a map, you know, and preferably
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we don't just want a map. We want turn-by-turn directions
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like a cosmic GPS telling us exactly what
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we need to do, when we need to do it, and what our estimated arrival
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time is at this next level of identity that we're working toward. But my friends,
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our next level often does not come with that. The person building
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their first million-dollar business has never been that person running a multimillion-dollar
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business before. The person stepping onto the bigger stage of the career
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has never stood in that particular stage before. The person finally
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establishing healthy boundaries may have never experienced
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what it feels like to protect their own peace. The person creating
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a healthy relationship may never discover that healthy
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love actually feels strange when chaos is
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what you've always, always known. You're a beginner,
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and being a beginner doesn't mean that you don't belong there. It just
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means that you're learning how to live in this new
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life. So maybe instead of saying, I should know how to do this already.
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Give yourself some grace and instead say, I've never been here before,
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so of course I'm learning. There is tremendous freedom
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in giving you that grace to be learning. Please pardon this
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interruption to your podcast episode. This will not take but a minute. Before we continue,
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I want to ask you something. Do you know that you're capable of more,
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but your life right now just isn't fully reflecting the person
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you know you can become? Then I want to personally invite you to schedule a
8:31
Shift Mindset call with me. This Shift Mindset experience is
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something that I created to help you identify one decision that you can make
8:39
that will shift your life. And when I say that this is a call with
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me, I mean exactly that. This is a live one-on-one personal
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call between you and I. This is not prerecorded. This is
8:52
not a member of my team. It is you and I having a real coaching
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conversation about your life, and it does not cost
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you any money. It is a 45-minute exchange of time. I'll give you
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30 minutes of my best mindset coaching to help you identify a decision that
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will create a real shift in your life. And in exchange, I just ask that
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you give me about 15 minutes to show you the coaching experiences that I offer.
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There's no obligation, but there is an opportunity to create a meaningful
9:18
shift in your life just from this call. You can schedule yours today
9:22
at johnstreet.org. Just click on the button that says
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schedule your shift call. And also, if this podcast
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is helping you, please subscribe, please like, and please
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share it. Every time you do that, every time you engage, you are helping to
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spread this message and inspire someone else to create their best life
9:41
through also living their own revolution of purpose. Now let's
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get you back to the Revolution of Purpose podcast. There's another Eastern
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idea that I've been thinking a lot about lately too that comes from Taoism,
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and it's called Wu Wei. It's sometimes translated as
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non-action, but that can be misleading because it
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doesn't mean that we're just sitting on the couch doing nothing and waiting
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for the universe to deliver everything that you want. Wu Wei is
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closer to non-forced action, action that
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moves from the flow rather than constantly trying to force
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and control everything. And I think that distinction
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is incredibly important because when we enter unfamiliar
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territory, one of our first instincts is often
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to try to control it. I don't know what's going to happen,
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so I have to figure it all out right now. I need to make this
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work. I need to know exactly how this is going to happen. And then suddenly
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we're gripping the steering wheel of life so tightly that
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our knuckles are turning white. But alignment does not mean inactivity.
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It means taking the action that is yours to take.
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If you've ever studied the Enneagram, I'm personally an Enneagram 2.
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That's the helper. And one of the questions that I always ask myself
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as an Enneagram 2 is, is this action mine to
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do? Is this mine to take? And that's important because as a helper,
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I just naturally want to jump in and do everything. And oftentimes, sometimes I'm
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doing that without the proper boundaries, without the proper protection of
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my own peace and my own energy. Well, the same thing
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can be talked about with this very principle.
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Is this action yours to take without believing that you
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have to control every outcome? I've been using a phrase
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lately that I love. My responsibility is the aligned action.
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I don't have to control the outcome. Let me say that
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for you again. My responsibility is the aligned
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action. I don't have to control the outcome.
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Interestingly, you find a similar principle in Western
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philosophy as well. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus taught
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that some things are within our control and other things
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are not. My choices, those are mine. My responses,
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those are mine. My effort, Those are mine. The next
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action I take, that is mine. But whether every person says
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yes, not mine. Whether everything happens according
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to my preferred timeline is not mine either.
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Whether every opportunity produces exactly the outcome that I
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imagine, that is not mine. And how much unnecessary
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suffering do we create because we take responsibility not
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only for our actions, but also for the controlling result? We try
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to do both parts of this, and then we wonder why we're so exhausted.
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My friends, we cannot control what other people think of
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us. We cannot control how they perceive us. And that's okay.
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We take the aligned action, and then we can let go of that part
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of the outcome. There's a difference between intentional action and desperate
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action. You can make the same phone call from 2 completely
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different identities. You know, especially if you're someone who finds yourself
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in sales, you, you can make the call and say, I have to make
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this happen. Or you can make the call and say, this is the next right
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action for me to take, and I'm going to take it. And then I'm going
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to release what happens next. It's the same phone call,
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but it's a different identity. And more importantly, it is a different energy.
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One is force and the other is flow. And this
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idea isn't foreign to my own Christian faith either.
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There is a scripture many of us have heard hundreds of times.
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In Proverbs, it says, trust in the Lord with all your heart
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and lean not on your own understanding. And lately I've thought
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differently about the word understanding because where is our
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understanding built from? Primarily what we already
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know, right? Like it's built from what we've experienced and seen and
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where we've been and who we see ourselves to be. So what
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happens then when God is leading you somewhere you've never
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understood before because you've never been there before? Your existing
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understanding may not contain a map for this
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new place. Faith does not mean abandoning wisdom. It doesn't mean
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abandoning reason. You don't have to check your brain at the door, and it certainly
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doesn't mean sitting around and just doing nothing.
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Faith means I don't have to understand the entire path
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before I'm willing to take the next right step.
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Sometimes my understanding can only describe where I've already
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been. Faith allows me to walk somewhere that I have not
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yet been before. And I find it fascinating that
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across traditions, there are very different human
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beings that have wrestled with the same fundamental tension, even though they
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could be worlds apart. Like Zen says, remain open enough to
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be a beginner. Taoism says, act without constantly forcing.
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Stoicism says, distinguish what is yours to control from
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what isn't. And Christian faith says, trust even when I
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cannot see or understand the entire path. All of
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these philosophies and these faith traditions are not all saying
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the same thing, but I think that each one gives us a lens through
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which to understand something important about growth,
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that we can move into the unknown without having to
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control the unknown. And this brings me back to something
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that you've heard me say many times on this podcast. You know, I'm not
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a fan of the saying, fake it till you make it.
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I believe in be it and you will see it.
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But we tend to get that backwards. We say, once I
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see the evidence, then I'll believe I'm successful. Once I get that
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opportunity, then I'll see myself as capable. Once I have the money,
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then I'll think in abundance. Once people like me,
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then I'll feel confident. Once I know that this is going
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to work, then I'll take the action. But transformation usually asks
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us to reverse that. You have to begin becoming
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the person before your external evidence fully arrives.
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And that's why identity transformation matters so much.
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I teach a process called the Law of Identity
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Transformation. And if you've watched this podcast lately, you've,
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you've heard this in great detail. And I teach about awaken,
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Become, align, and create.
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That is the law of identity transformation. And that is something that is
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always working. We are always living this momentum
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spiral where we are awakening to these possibilities of
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what could happen, of what could happen if we're trusting God,
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trusting the universe, trusting our higher power to work things together
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for our good. And then that gives us some confidence to believe, to become
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the identity that we have to have to live our next goal.
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And so then out of that identity, then we take a line aligned steps.
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We start to act in alignment and take the decisions that need
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to be made. And then that causes us to create more and more of
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the life that we desire to have, those, those goals that we've been setting.
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And so then the more we create it, the more we start to awaken
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further that it really is possible. It becomes an
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evidence. The aligned action creates the evidence that makes us
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awaken further that we can be more and more of that identity. And then we
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take more and more of aligned action and the momentum spiral continues
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to grow. We become the person that is holding the vision
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and we take aligned actions, the decisions that we need
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to show that person. And then we're creating from that
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place of identity. But notice something. There is
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a period between becoming and creating where the outside
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world may not have caught up yet. And my friends, that's where this
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uncomfortable part exists. You're behaving differently,
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but the evidence isn't all there yet. You're thinking differently,
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but the results aren't all there yet. You've stopped being that old version
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of yourself, but the people around you don't recognize this new version.
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So they're not even completely comfortable with you
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yet, much less you being comfortable with yourself. And it can be extremely
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uncomfortable, but that uncomfortability does not mean that
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you're failing. It just means that you're transforming.
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And transforming is what your goal is, constantly being
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evolving to that higher version of yourself who's living the life
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that you so desperately desire to live. Now, I want to
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make an important distinction here. Not every uncomfortable situation
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is growth. So please don't misunderstand that. Sometimes discomfort
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is information. Sometimes it is caution. Your intuition
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may be telling you something, and sometimes something really is wrong.
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But wisdom comes in where you learn to discern the difference and
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you trust your gut. You know, you trust that inner voice
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that says, hold up, this is something that you might want to reconsider.
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This is something that you need to sit with before you move forward. I just
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want to make sure you know, though, that we can't automatically assume I'm uncomfortable,
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therefore I'm unaligned, because sometimes you're uncomfortable because
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you're finally aligned with something that is bigger than the identity
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that you've been living from. So ask yourself in that situation,
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is this discomfort telling me that something is wrong,
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or is this simply unfamiliar Because I've never been
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this version of myself before. That is a very
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different question. So let me leave you with this today.
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Where in your life have you been interpreting unfamiliarity
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as evidence that you should go backwards? Where have you been asking
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for expansion and then become so frightened when expansion
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starts to show up that you actually went back? Like,
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where have you said, I want more, And then when more arrived,
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you thought, this is not right. This doesn't feel like me. My friends, it won't
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feel like you. Not yet. Your next level may not feel like home
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when you first arrive, but stay there. Sit there.
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Learn. Remain open and take the next aligned
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action. Stop demanding that you understand every single step
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and stop trying to control every outcome. Give yourself
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permission to be a beginner and keep becoming.
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Because eventually the thing that once terrified you becomes
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something that you do without thinking, like breathing,
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like drinking water, like brushing your teeth. And the room
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where you once wondered whether you belonged or not becomes a room that
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you know how to walk into with confidence and your head held
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high. The opportunity that once intimidated you
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will become your new standard. And the identity that
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you once had to consciously practice becomes simply who
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you are. And then you start taking those aligned actions from
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that new identity. The life that once felt unfamiliar becomes
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the life that you now can't imagine not living. That is what it
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means to become. And remember, be it
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and you will see it. Thank you so much for spending this time with me
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today on the Revolution of Purpose podcast. If something
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in this episode spoke to you, please share it with somebody who is stepping
21:13
into that new season themselves and wondering why something
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that they wanted so badly feels so uncomfortable. Maybe they
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just needed the reminder that unfamiliar does not necessarily
21:25
mean wrong. Until next time, keep awakening,
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keep becoming, keep taking those aligned actions, and keep creating
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the extraordinary life that you were designed to live.
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I'll see you next time on the Revolution of Purpose podcast. Keep living
21:40
your revolution of purpose. Thank you so much for spending this
21:45
time with me today. If this episode encouraged you, if it challenged
21:48
you, or if it helped you see your life a little bit differently, would you
21:53
do me a favor? Subscribe to the podcast, leave a rating or review,
21:57
and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
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Every share helps us reach more people who are searching for hope,
22:04
purpose, and a life of greater meaning. And if you're ready to stop
22:09
wondering what's next and start living with greater clarity and purpose in your own life,
22:13
I would love to meet with you personally. Visit johnstreet.org
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right now to schedule your complimentary live purpose and clarity
22:21
call with me. Until next time,
22:24
remember, your purpose is not something you find.
22:28
It is something you awaken to, and then you choose to
22:31
live it. Go make today another step in your own revolution
22:35
of purpose.