Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Happy Hour #120: Coming Out to Strangers

Transcript

Happy Hour #120: Coming Out to Strangers · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Ian never told you protection, iheartraed you, and welcome to
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: another edition of half Hour. As always, drink responsibly, listen responsibly,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: do everything responsibly if you choose to do any of
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: those things. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. What are you
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: sitting on, Samantha.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: I am drinking bubbly water once again? This time we
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: so my partner works events and sometimes from those events
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: he gets like extras that are left behind by talent,
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: and they left behind watermelon flavor bubbly pretty good?
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Oh nice?
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, that might be a new flavor I'll have
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: to venture out.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: To, especially if your pineapple goes away. Still very sad, Yeah,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I know, I'm sad for you.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: What about you?
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I am sitting on a light beer that shall remain nameless.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: But it is interesting because in this happy hour I
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: kind of wanted to talk about our recent experience recording
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: the audiobook, but also kind of some like queer updates
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: with me because it's a Pride Month happy hour. But
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: like I don't normally have beer on hand, mostly because
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I walked to the store and it's heavy to carry,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: so I don't normally have it, but we had such
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: a busy, stressful week recording this audio book that a
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: good friend of mine, Katie, who's been on the show,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: dropped off my favorite light beer outside of my door.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm too tired to do anything. I'm done.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: It was very kind, so I'm enjoying that. But it's
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: also funny that you mentioned kind of the bubbly water
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: because a past sponsor, not current sponsor, I don't believe hints,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: sent us a ridiculous amount of product to be frank.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Very generous.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay this sorry, Yes, but Samantha and I, as
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: we've talked about, we were so nervous about recording this
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: audiobook and we were so lucky. And I'm going to
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: talk about it more in a second. I'm sure Samantha
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: you have thoughts about it too, but we were so
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: lucky with the team we had, who were both women,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: were very kind and held our hands. We were clearly panicking, yes,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: but Alisha, So the team was Alicia and Mala. Alicia,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: who was sort of like the voice in our ear,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: making sure we got everything corrects that we were hitting,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: like the emotional notes are just being clear. She sent
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: out this advice beforehand, and it was like, where's stuff
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: that doesn't rustle and eat a green apple? Green apple
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: is a good snack and hydrate including the day before.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: So Samantha and I took it very seriously. So the
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: weekend before, I was like, I'm staying in and I'm
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: drinking water, and that's right. But then I showed up
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: each day and you made fun of me, and everyone
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: made fun of me because I came in with this
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: bag of hit water.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, it wasn't because you came in with a bag,
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: and we're talking. There were four to five bottles. There
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: was more than water, Okay, five and then there was
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: like four maybe it was like three to four headwaters
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: which you had, and then three personal bottles of water
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: which you had. And we were only there for literally
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: five hours or five and a half hours, with an
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: hour break in between for lunch. And also they have
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: a fully equipped kitchen.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I went through them all though.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: I know you did. It was quite funny. I'm like,
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: you know they have water and items here.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: Right, it was. It was pretty hilarious because I came
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: in and they're just this huge bag and can hear
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: all this like water slashing about.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: It and you're struggling at the door to keep it open,
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: like it even open.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: To be fair, the door.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Was complicated because he had it locked and you had
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: to be like completely in the perfect position for unlocked.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: But still you was like, what is wrong with her?
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: As you're leaning sideways.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I took the instructions very seriously and never said to
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: bring your own water or you might die, like it
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: said hydrate. Who knows. I was just being fired. But
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I went through a lot of water, and it was
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: kind of comical because you could there was like a
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: trail of If you looked in the trash candy, you'd
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: be like, oh, Annie's been here, because there's a tree
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: of these bottles. Yeah again currently not a sponsor. I
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: don't think they said us a lot of stuff.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Still, you know I still have some too, because that's
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: following two days. I did bring one bottle per day
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: because the part of that advice was no, I don't
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: think it was her advice. I was looking up advice
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: about vocal stuff and it said don't drink cold water,
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: don't drink ice water. And all of my water happened
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: to being the refrigerator and very cold, and then I
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: had remnants of the head water, and I WoT that
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: was at room temperature so I wouldn't grab them. So
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I had it there too, and I did drink them
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: while I was there. We also provided tea, which you
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: had an incident with the tea because yes, you have
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: found that you are actually allergic to all tea's.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Uh, something that is going on. I don't know if
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: it's an allergy, but something definitely happens to me after
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: I drink.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: It's not fun at the most inopportunity moment.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, but I did want to talk about our
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: experience with that briefly just because and I think we'll
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: come back and do a more in depth thing. But
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: we were so nervous about it, and I'm still feeling
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: the both exhaustion but also it was a very different
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: experience from podcasting. It really was. It doesn't seem like
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: it would be maybe at first glance, but like having
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: someone in your ear kind of correcting you and directing you,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: having kind of this like really piece by piece, like
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: where's this going to fit? How is this going to sound?
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: All of that happening. So I'm kind of discombobulated, to
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: be honest, to just have this conversation with you right now.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: You had to actually do a recording by yourself last week,
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: which many listeners may have already heard because I was like, oh, yeah,
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: I'll be fine. Let's we'll do it after this and
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: I came in. I was like, I can't do it.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: I can't do it. I'm sorry, and You're like, oh God,
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: I've got it. And I felt bad because you'd already
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: had your two days of really stress and this was
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: the first day that you'd had to rest and I
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: was like the first my first day and I was like,
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: m nope, nope, can't do it.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it was such an odd experience. And so
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: we hadn't recorded together since we did the audio recording,
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: so doing our first episode it felt off.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh oh no.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: It just felt so disconnected and it felt like I
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: had we had recorded an episode like years ago, when
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: in actuality it was last what Monday or something. I
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: was just like, wow, Wow, this is I am really
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: turned around right now?
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, and it So we did one day together
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: and then two days each separately, but it was it
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: was hard to adjust to that, and I feel like
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: the first day I did it by myself was pretty rough,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: and the second day I kind of got my groove
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: and then now I'm having to like readjust me to this,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: which is odd, but it was yeah, like you said,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: like five hour days, And I did think it was
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: cute because they were both of the people we worked
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: with were like, oh you're friends, been friends.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Yes, I went and grabbed her for lunch. I mean,
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: and you were recording because I live very close to
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: the studio.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Also have a car that.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: I drive and don't mind driving, but yes, I live
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: very close to there, and so I would grab you
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: for lunch. Also because you were your chapters peak behind
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: a little preview of the books. I feel like we're
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: definitely a lot more personal than mine. There's a few
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: that I did put personal bits, but it wasn't like
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: I wasn't relaying really vulnerable experiences.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: But yeah, so I was like, yeah, I'll definitely come
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: in and hang with you and I just watch you
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: not eat.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I would eat, just like just abortions are so huge.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Well, also you don't eat a lot of lunch. You're
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: also stressed out and you're trying to like kind of
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: gain your composure back for the next read. So that
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: was completely understandable, but yeah, it was. It was funny
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: because they were like, any gonna come get you, and
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I was like, actually, I'm just going home. I'm gonna
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: go see my dog.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I love that, you said. Though, Yeah, yeah, I know
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: it was. It was nice. But one of the reasons
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: I just really want to hammer that home. I've never
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: had this experience before personally, or if I I have,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: but on a really light scale. But I know previous
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: host Bridgett and Emily would rent a studio to record together,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: and they'd rent it like once a month and do
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: these really arm recordings, and I heard some horror stories
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: about it, about it being a man, and after they
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: were done with their topics, him having some opinions, Oh no,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: about like, you know, I don't think we need feminism.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: I think it's like drawing too much attention to things
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: and all of this stuff. You know.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: So it could have gone that way, it could have easily.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: And it didn't, and I'm glad. I mean, one would
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: hope and think that if people behind who knew that
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: this what this book was about, they would try to
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: not right, but you never know.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: You never know, uh, I mean, we definitely when we
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: started this process. They didn't think that way.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: We had to like, we can't do that.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: This is a feminist book doing you know, like literally
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: having to put in why a feminist book has to
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: remain feminist even behind the scene, and you know, so,
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, we definitely encountered it from jump and
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: then had to do a lot of fixing it like
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: this is not going to work, and people be like, oh, okay,
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: but at the same time also trying not to give
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: it to us.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: It was right, like it wasn't a big deal, and
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: we're like, right, kind.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: Of is it is just us?
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: It is all involved. It will be better to just
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: justice on this one. Yeah. But a part of that
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: was so as you were saying, there are some pretty
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: vulnerable moments in the book, and I ended up crying
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: pretty hard twice twice. I got some hugs, yes, I
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: got some warm water and tea. I got a lot
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: of tea, kind words. And I don't know how it
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: would have gone if I hadn't had women when I
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: was being that open about these things. But one of
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: the things that surprised me was I cried during my
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: coming out chapter or I sort of just it's not
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: like I think I didn't think I was gonna cry,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: because there's nothing in there that's very you know, just
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: on paper, sounds very heartbreaking or anything. It's sad at
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: some point, but it's not like, oh God, what a
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: horrible experience you've lived. But I never I even though
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I've come out on this show to a bunch of
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: people I don't know, i'd never come out to people
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know in person or like while they were
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: there and could react, I guess, and I started crying,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: and I especially like on the parts about like feeling
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: so lonely and feeling like something is wrong with you,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: and I just I don't think I've ever said it,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: because it's those sections are written to be very like
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: journal kind of diary entrigue. And I know I've talked
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: about it on here before. But as we've said, we foolishly,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: at least I foolishly never thought we would be doing
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: an audio book.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: It didn't come into my head either. It didn't until
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: we got that email saying, Hi, we're so excited to
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: work with you, and we're like, what wait, what is this?
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: What is this? With this end?
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: I am very happy, like I want it to be
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: accessible as accessible as it can be. But yeah, it
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: never ever occurred to me and you and I joked like,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: there are things I would have done differently had I
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: known I would have to read it.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: It also is like the very because we went through
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: several editing processes. Obviously, when I would write something, our
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: amazing writer editor Jane, who we hoped to have on
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: the show, would come in and make it sound intelligible
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: because I would rant, as you know, and I'd just
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: keep going, which was one of the critiques not critiques,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: but one of the comments and observations I got was
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: you write long sentences.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: I was like, yes, I do.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, But the fact is, oh, I was like, oh,
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: I definitely didn't write that word.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: I don't even know what that means. Someone pronounced this
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: for me is definitely not myth right, So I did
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: not say it that way.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Yes, So those moments are like oh, oh right.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and again like I know you and I have
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: read it several times, but it's just saying something about
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: and reading it.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Is it is also yeah, just like I'm like, I'm
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: not an actor, rights, I'm not a trained professional in this, which,
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: by the way, we do have an actor I'm very
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: decided for her to be a part of it. I
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: am too, but yeah, but like, like, how do I
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: make this sound interesting right, instead of like me just
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: bumbling through?
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think too, like we never thought we
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: have a book, and so it was strange to be
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: in a space where you could see like past people
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: they had yes, and feel a little intimidated by very
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Oh so you work with them? Yeah, yes, And I'm
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: proud of what we did and I don't want to
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: make it sound like i'm not, but I think we
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: can all relate to that feeling of I've never done
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: this before and I'm sharing the same space as this
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: person who was really good and I know is really good.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: So there was that going on for sure. There was
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: an element of very much for me getting in my
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: head where I would take their advice so seriously and
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: then I would get so caught up about how I sounded.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: But it was like it was a very intimate, for
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: lack of a better word, environment and I'm just sharing
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: this story that it's like me coming out and I
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: just started crying to my surprise, and I thought, I
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: feel since over the years, I feel much more settled
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: and in my identity. I feel very happy with it,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: which I do talk about in the book as well.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: So it surprised me, but I think I just hadn't
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: realized how much I've internalized, like people might reject you.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's not safe to do this because at that
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: point I didn't know. I knew they were women, but
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: I didn't know for sure. But they were amazing and awesome,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: and one of them talked about her coming out story
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: and how important it is to hear things like this,
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: and we related about you know, I didn't even know
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: this was a thing, and I wish I had known
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: that it was a thing when I was so much younger.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: So it was a really great experience, Like I don't
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: think I could have asked for anything better than that,
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: but it was. It was kind of eye opening for
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: me about Okay, it still makes me nervous, still not
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: totally comfortable, which makes sense. I didn't know who they were,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: even as nice as they were. Yes, I didn't know them.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: But it's also this is a book in an audio book,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: and now, for some reason, as we've discussed, that feels
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: much more permanent than when we talk on the podcast.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Right by the way, it is already being advertised on audible.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: Oh really, yeah, I found it today, don't give me.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: I was looking at something else and it was already up,
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, order so you can pre
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: order the audio.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: And we haven't even finished it.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: We have it, and we have to go back and
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: do pickups. And I'm worried because I'm worried I'm gonna
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: have to do pick ups for like the times I
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: was crying.
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: I didn't even think about that.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: Yes, oh, I did.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Have to go back for like renaming things like hard
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: to pronounce. We do talk about First Nations and indigenous people,
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, no, I'm in trouble.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: I wish we had their technology. They had a whole
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: technology that scans a document and tells you, oh, this
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: might be a word you want to look up.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: Oh really Yeah, they didn't know how to say it either.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: I found it. It was still difficult.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, it was cool though, because they had a whole
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: process for figuring out how to pronounce things, including calling
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: their friends in different countries. It was very deep, right, yes,
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: But on top of that, I realized I had this
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: beautiful conversation about coming out, and it was so nice
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: and like this kind of connecting, you know, all of
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: this stuff. But then I also realized that I'm still
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: really afraid and rightfully so, I think in some ways
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: of getting stuff wrong when it comes to LGBTQ plus,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: which is something I kept tripping upon that I had
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: to say a million times, just terminology, and it's a
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: part of it is so much of it is in flux,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: and so much of it is being discussed and is changing.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: But I had a lot of anxiety about the Monday
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: many I did by myself, which was just a strict
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: history of the terminology. So I'm still struggling with that,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: and I still, you know, I'm a CIS white, straight
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: passing person and so I think I felt it's always
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: good to keep things in context. But I think I
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: felt like when I was having this emotion that I
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be having it because I really haven't suffered that much.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: And like I said, I think it's important to keep
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: things in context. But it was also like I don't
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: think I ever grappled with just how lonely I felt.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: So it was interesting. It was interesting, but I do
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: hope that it will help people anyone who listens. I
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: feel like me didn't know that that terminology, didn't know
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: that was a thing. Even though that's like what was
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: going on, I do hope it will help. I'm somebody.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: And then I've also been thinking about this too, And
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: this is just a quick I've only been thinking about
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: it and will wrap up. But I've been thinking about
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: a couple of you have written in asking for resources,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: because you you'll be talking to people who don't know
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: about a lot of queer terminology. They don't know that
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: there's like a romantic spectrum on top of a sexual spectrum.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: And that got me thinking about the how we say
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: love is love, which I'm all about, but it's also
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: like should be able to have consensual sex with whoever
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: you want to. I'm all for love is love, but
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: also you know, but that being said, if anyone does
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: have really great resources, I usually go to the Trevor Project.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: That they don't, at least as far as I saw,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: don't have a great breakdown of the romantic versus sexual spectrum.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: They do have a really great breakdown of a gender identity.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: But if you have any resources, we would love to
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: shout them out, So please send those our way. Cheers, Samantha,
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: We did it.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: We're part way through it. Most of the way through it.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Cheers. We're more than halfway there. Yes, If you would
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: like to contact us, you can our emails Stephanie mom
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: on Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at Stuff
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: I've Never Told You. You can also find us on YouTube.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: We have a tea public store, uh you. We have
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: new stuff on there. You should check it out. We
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: do have a book that you can pre order at stuff.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: You should read books dot com. Apparently we also have
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: an audible book you can already pre orders, so check
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: that out. It's gonna be cool. It's gonna have like
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: narration by an actor. It's gonna be awesome. Yes, Thanks
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: as always to our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: and our contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: for listening Stuff I Never Told You the protection of iHeartRadio.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: out the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or regular listen
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.