Latest / The Padded Cell Podcast / EPISODE 152 - 'Swinging Twins'

Transcript

EPISODE 152 - 'Swinging Twins' · The Padded Cell Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Brace yourself, Steve and Turkish waiter.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: Then again, still will you.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: So even up for that thing with Father Christmas gets all the accolades.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
0:10
SPEAKER_01: Sydney, Australia.
0:11
SPEAKER_00: Mine's five knuckle shuffle.
0:13
SPEAKER_01: Five knuckle shuffle.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: It's like I feel like Santa in my old bag's full.
0:19
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, Andy's got a bit sick here.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
0:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Every day's a school day, especially the Pather Cell podcast.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: Are you a deviant?
0:27
SPEAKER_00: You know, like those of us who binge watch serial killer programs, laugh at the stupid stuff people do, and revel in anything adult?
0:36
SPEAKER_00: Well, you found your people! Join us as we crack open the doors of the Path of Cell and release the insanely stupid, the weirdly wonderful, and those who choose to live by size of size for numbers.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: We'd have to finish the strange, the macabre, the sexy and the outrageous! So, if you're a deviant, then you have your place with us in the Path of Cell.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: This episode is powered by our Patreons.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: As always, thanks gang for your continued support.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: It really does mean the world.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: And a special welcome to our new Patreons, April, Zoe, Marius, Sir Lancelong, and Colleen.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: Welcome, gang.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm just turning my mug away so you can't see the staining on the side of my mug.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: It's very, very mingan today.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: Right, let's get started.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: So, hello and welcome to episode 152 of the Padded Cell Podcast.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: And today I'm here with our Andy.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: Hello, Padded Cell lads.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Hang on, let me just turn you around for Facebook.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
1:33
SPEAKER_00: You're all nice.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: All of that was missing them was a way! So yeah, it's been a little while since we've seen you.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: It has.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: And uh you've lost a little bit of weight for your holidays.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: How long is it till you go on holiday and eleven days?
1:53
SPEAKER_00: 11 days.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: You can't fuck away, can you?
1:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: Going to Turkey.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: Going to Turkey.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: Just gonna sit there, pints being from food being brought to you.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: Be still hot, won't it, as well?
2:03
SPEAKER_02: And it's looking like I've been on Weather Watch for a few weeks now.
2:08
SPEAKER_02: Watching the trends.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: It's it's looking like it's gonna be about thirty.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you've been for sun cream on your head then.
2:15
SPEAKER_02: Oh I've ordered the order like a Ceradores me some factor thirty.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: Oh, wait.
2:19
SPEAKER_02: Spray as well, because when we're going on my own, I'll have to apply my own sun.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's spray upside down there.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: Will you be able to do your back?
2:26
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: You have to find a waiter to come and do your back for you.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: A Turkish waiter.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: Then again, so will you?
2:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: So you'll go on your hole soon.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: Well, gel.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: But it's well deserved.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: You've been working hard, haven't you?
2:46
SPEAKER_00: So you need that little bit of time off, don't you?
2:48
SPEAKER_00: And you're just gonna put your phone down and that's it.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: Fuck the world.
2:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: Four days or five?
2:53
SPEAKER_02: It's it's four nights, but it's like five days.
2:56
SPEAKER_02: So get there early on the Monday and fly back on the Friday night.
2:59
SPEAKER_00: Oh, lovely.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: Really, really great.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna love that.
3:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: No work and just boozing and stuff.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: A book, maybe.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, I'm gonna say a few books, yeah.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: Nice.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: And your Dafo t-shirts going with it.
3:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'll take my Zephyrs.
3:10
SPEAKER_02: I might take a Kindle as opposed to books.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's a little bit uh 21st century, isn't it?
3:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm not ready for this.
3:19
SPEAKER_02: I have a book on a Kindle, it was wheezed.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: Well, no, I have I have got a Kindle.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I find in the heat the overheat and they just go off.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh nice.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: So you've got to keep them in the shade or not keep them on for too long.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: If you're lying there for a few hours, your Kindle overheats, and so do you.
3:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I might take back up books as well.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: I'll take back up books to get all nice and sweaty and oily.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: I love the smell of a booth when it comes back with your full of oil.
3:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:44
SPEAKER_03: Oiler.
3:45
SPEAKER_03: Oil.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: And sweat.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: Can't you say I haven't been away for a little while because I'm living vicariously through your trip.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm on daily photo, please.
3:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:55
SPEAKER_02: I will do all those.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: Fowers and drunken updates.
3:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:57
SPEAKER_02: I said um I'm gonna like sort of, you know the way you like you see people like on Facebook and that when they send like pictures of all as you and it's like uh you send like a picture of like the legs like with the C and P and stuff on that.
4:08
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna take some of mine like with my Lords of the Rings' feet.
4:13
SPEAKER_02: Or like corns and dead skin's and dead skin and all that with close ups.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: You're telling me you've got hairy feet and toes?
4:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:22
SPEAKER_02: Have you?
4:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: Do you have you actually got hairy toes?
4:25
SPEAKER_02: I've got hairy toes, yeah.
4:26
SPEAKER_02: Have you?
4:27
SPEAKER_02: I mean they're not like excessively hairy, but they're just I've just got really weird feet.
4:31
SPEAKER_02: Like really I've got like dead high arches, so my feet look like fucking claws.
4:36
SPEAKER_02: Do they?
4:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:37
SPEAKER_02: I've got like loads of dead skin and stuff.
4:39
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's just hot.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I was before the dead skin, I was gonna say, I need to see these uh hobbit feet later.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: But when you said dead skin, I'll leave them in your trainers, mate.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: I know about we got on.
4:53
SPEAKER_02: Such a catch.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: You are such a catch.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: Janelle, thankful for seeing this today.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, she found a mum dead yesterday.
5:01
SPEAKER_02: Oh shit, sorry, love such a lot.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry to say about that.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: Jesus Christ.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm glad that we've made you smile during this really awful time.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: Condolences to you there, Janelle.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: Uh Tasha, good afternoon, Belinda.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: Evening from Sydney.
5:15
SPEAKER_01: Sydney, Australia.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Tasha's gone hobbit feet.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: Whoa.
5:20
SPEAKER_00: They are the wolf.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: Good morning from New Jersey.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: New Jersey.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: Morning, Heather, and afternoon from Chris so far.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh, we'll check back in with you in a minute, but we best get started on the store on the thing.
5:34
SPEAKER_02: Like God knows how many times all's across the world.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: I think it's 150-something countries we reach now.
5:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: It's mantle.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: Probably not North Korea.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: You never know though.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: We did risk it over there.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: You say, we say, oh, we're going to say the C word out loud on Facebook, then what I'll get turned off.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: So you went to.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: Right, okay.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: I'll wait to say that until I'm not on Facebook.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, anyway.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: So while we've got you on, I want to remind all of you as well, because you would have heard it on the last episode.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: But from episode 154, we're going to be taking our video podcasts over to Patreon only.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: So all of our audios will be out there for general masses, general release free of charge, and all that.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: And you'll see our reels, all the video reels will come up and that.
6:22
SPEAKER_00: But the main video episode will be Patreon only from 154.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: However, I'm not ripping it off because you know me.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: I just want to earn a shilling.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to rip it all off.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: The tier, the lower, the lower tier, outpatients, is the one that you need to be going to if you want to join off a Patreon.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: And it's only two pounds a month.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: It's 50p an episode.
6:42
SPEAKER_00: It's not a lot, really.
6:44
SPEAKER_02: It's less than a penny a day.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: But for me, those 50p per episodes mount up and it helps me keep the lights on.
6:51
SPEAKER_00: Literally, the studio lights.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: Um, so you're supporting me, but you're getting to see our faces as well, the the full videos.
6:59
SPEAKER_00: And also on Patreon, if you uh want to see more, there's the in patience tier just above that, and then our inner sanctum.
7:07
SPEAKER_00: There are special deviants, you're getting all sorts of extra stuff.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: There's like tons and tons of hundreds of extra episodes on there.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: And we've got a new series starting uh on Friday called Queerly Departed, and it's all about um people, places, events um in history um that have had affected or have been catalyzed, if you like, by our queer community.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, and um yeah, it's it's mainly going to be light hearted, but interesting, educational, maybe a little bit dark here and there, you know.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's gonna be great.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: So that's over there as well.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: So it's not just you're coming over to Patreon to see our videos, there's loads of extra stuff as well.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: So it's be really, really great if some of you could come over.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: But if you can't afford it, you don't want to, or you just whatever, then you'll still hear us on audio over on Spotify and all your usual platforms.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: So service announcement over.
8:00
SPEAKER_02: Oh, he's a laugh seller, did I?
8:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I reckon he did, yeah.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm getting good at this now.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: Do you know why?
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Because we're three years old.
8:08
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: So um also three years.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: I remember when you were first starting when you were first saying about starting this off.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: And that's three years ago.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, three years.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's actually three years tomorrow.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: And the other thing, while I've got you all on, um, is tomorrow we are going live on Patreon to record episode 150.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, and that is our three-year anniversary episode.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: So a little bit more special, if you like.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: Uh our Kev is gonna be with us for that.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: So we're going live on Patreon.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: We might go live on Facebook just for a little bit, but the whole thing will be on Patreon if you want to watch it live.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, because it's going live on the day, it wouldn't usually go out to the masses on that day, but I need a little bit of time to do the editing and all that, you know.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: Oh, what a time to be alive.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: I know, yeah.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: So it's gonna be a little bit late.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: 150 going out on general release for our Patreons.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: We'll get it tomorrow.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: Fabulous.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: Right, let's crack on, eh?
9:08
SPEAKER_00: Shall we?
9:09
SPEAKER_00: This is going out on the 24th of September, and um, do you know what?
9:13
SPEAKER_00: I was a bit spoiled for choice on things to talk about because there's loads, and I'm like, what am I gonna do?
9:18
SPEAKER_00: But um there's one in particular that caught my eye.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: Okay, and I thought while I was on uh facey, yeah, I'd tell this story now.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: So it is uh International Gorilla Day.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: You don't have bullshit, oh yeah.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: But I mean, we like gorillas, we know more about gorillas now.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm a bit indifferent to them now.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: Well, are you?
9:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: Well fuck you then.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: I can say fuck, I just can't say the C word.
9:48
SPEAKER_00: Well, of course, I just don't want to risk it.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: No, but you can say the F word.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: What it's just that people internationally get offended by the C-word.
9:56
SPEAKER_00: We did this actually in the last episode, the C U N T word.
9:59
SPEAKER_02: Oh right.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to say it live on FaceView while we've got all these Americans on.
10:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: They don't like it in America.
10:04
SPEAKER_02: It's not a nice word, like, but I just not a nice word, though, is it?
10:10
SPEAKER_00: It depends how you say it.
10:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: Anyway.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: Because we use it as a term of a demon stuff, don't we?
10:15
SPEAKER_00: We we do, and again, we talked about it in the last episode.
10:17
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, you're daft.
10:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:19
SPEAKER_00: It's such a nice thing.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: I suppose the Australians do as well.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: Oh, Australians are masters of it, I don't think.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, gorillas.
10:27
SPEAKER_00: I found some stuff out about gorillas that you're all going to be really interested in.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: Uh I like gorillas anyway.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, but let me tell you a few more little things.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: So, why is it World Gorilla Day?
10:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, it was first held in 2017, deliberately chosen to coincide with the 50th anniversary of uh Diane Fossey, you know, founding the research centre in Rwanda.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm not gonna talk about that.
10:53
SPEAKER_00: We've probably all seen the film, yeah.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: I might say some more interesting stuff.
10:57
SPEAKER_00: Sigoni Weaver, wasn't it?
10:58
SPEAKER_00: Oh, she's lovely.
10:59
SPEAKER_00: I didn't really think I actually fancied Sigoni Weaver until one time I was talking with Rai about Sigoni Weaver when she was an alien.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: I started off.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: I started off going, yeah.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: I don't really fancy Sigoni Weaver, you know, like that.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: But then again, an alien when she had that green um army vest on and it tags and a shaved head.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: By the time I first description, I was like, that's a pool.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: So I discovered on the episode I did actually like Sigoni Weaver anyway.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: So gorillas, do you know that they've got individual noseprints?
11:35
SPEAKER_02: I did not know that.
11:37
SPEAKER_00: Did you know that they laugh when you tickle them?
11:41
SPEAKER_00: No.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: And they appear to investigate their dead, they're very aware of their dead.
11:47
SPEAKER_02: Oh, thanks, okay.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: And the famous chess beating, it turns out that it contains information about how big they are, and it's communicating.
11:58
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
11:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: Why are you smirking at me?
12:01
SPEAKER_02: It's just really sad, like how big they are.
12:03
SPEAKER_00: Like well, that's the other thing.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: Considering their size, their appendages are not in proportion.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a bit like either.
12:11
SPEAKER_00: Oh, God love you.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: There's always a cock ring.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: And they engage in same-sex sexual behaviour.
12:22
SPEAKER_02: I didn't know that.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: So let me tell you more.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: Tell me more.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: Much more interesting than King Kong grabbing the blonde and running to the top of the building.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: And actually, you know, they have been portrayed as angry and violent, haven't they?
12:36
SPEAKER_00: Gorillas.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: With the pounds of the chest and all the rest of it.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but actually, uh, gorillas are generally much more peaceful.
12:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, and the Smithsonian describes uh Western lowland gorillas as quiet, peaceful, and non-aggressive unless provoked.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: A bit like me there.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to be provoked a lot, like don't poke the dominatrix.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Um, and also gorillas may actually charge and run past an intruder to the camp, if you like, rather than actually uh attacking them.
13:11
unknown: Right.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: So what they'll do is they'll charge and frighten and threaten rather than actually go for it, unless they are attacked.
13:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: And that isn't just other gorillas, that's humans and all that.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: So they're actually quite placid around humans.
13:23
SPEAKER_00: As long as you're okay around them, they're generally okay.
13:26
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
13:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:28
SPEAKER_00: So this chest beating uh that I was telling you about before is one of my favourite things.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I felt like it was I knew it was going to be something that would be threatening to other gorillas, but it's a little bit more than that.
13:41
SPEAKER_00: There's been some research done on wild mountain gorillas, and I discovered that a silverback's chest um beat contains information about his actual body size.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: Bigger males produce chest beats with a lower peak frequency.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: I suppose because it's bigger and more hollow, maybe bigger space.
13:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, so another gorilla potentially hears him uh from a long way away, and like, oh okay, that that's big John.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he's in the hood.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: We're not gonna go over to that bit of forest today.
14:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: So he's telling everybody, I'm the biggest gorilla around here, so back the fuck off.
14:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: But we've got like a little beast, a higher pitched beast.
14:23
SPEAKER_00: He's not a big gorilla.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: So everybody around knows that Big John's around here.
14:27
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's interesting, though.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's good, isn't it?
14:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, and gorilla sex.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: So uh gorilla society uh society usually involves one dominant silverback with several females.
14:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's harem.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: It's harem, yeah.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: Um, although multi-male groups do occur, that that's mainly what happens.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: And the female gorillas aren't passive members of the harem.
14:55
SPEAKER_00: Females do actually leave the harem and they'll go elsewhere to look for another fella.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: So if Big John can't get it up, or he's getting on, or he's got too many other women and she's not getting the looking, yeah, she can go off and find somebody else.
15:12
SPEAKER_02: And they're all cool with that.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: They can change groups several times during their lives.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: It's like getting divorced, I suppose, isn't it?
15:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, look, you're doing your fucking heading, now you've got too many other birds in so and you know, I was number one, and now I'm not.
15:25
SPEAKER_00: So now I'm gonna go and be somebody else's number one, fuck you.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: In a nutshell.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: I quite like that, yeah.
15:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, and there's been female initiation of mating documented.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, and they've noted in research that females are often the ones initiating sex.
15:44
SPEAKER_01: Oh nice.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: Which I didn't realise.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: I thought it would be very male dominant.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: But now the females can be frisky and they're like that.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: Come on, big John.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: Leave all them alone.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna show you a good time.
15:56
SPEAKER_00: Remind you why I'm number one wife.
15:58
SPEAKER_02: Let's see how big you are, John.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: Also, like I said before, the gorillas, the uh same-sex, um, sexual behaviours.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: It's been widely documented.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, and there's actually been an entire academic chapter devoted to the development of homosexual behaviour in male mountain gorillas.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: And um the research found that gorillas might be playful amongst each other, yeah, which then might um develop into something more sexual.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: So it starts off as like playful and masculine, like that, uh, going, you know, bumping shoulders, maybe, and then it's a bit more than they start rolling around before you know it, that's it.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's not like an unnatural thing for them.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's not like um it's outside the norm.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh god, Big John's gone off with Big Jim.
16:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh right, Big John's off again.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, Jim, you're all right, mate.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: It's it's not unusual at all, actually.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, so they will have a whorem of of uh female gorillas, but they might have you know Big Jim on the side if he fancies a little bit of uh how's your father up there?
17:15
SPEAKER_00: I've been really careful because I'm on Facebook.
17:17
SPEAKER_02: Bit of a rare missus, that's why.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: A bit of a rare missus, yeah.
17:20
SPEAKER_02: A bit of strange, bit of strange.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: So uh gorillas are obviously massive, and obviously they stand, they can stand on two legs, but obviously you can go on four as well.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: And a male is roughly twice the size of a female, um, and the silverbacks can reach 226 kilograms.
17:45
SPEAKER_00: You wouldn't want one of those running towards you, would you?
17:48
SPEAKER_00: Right?
17:48
SPEAKER_00: Good job, they're not that angry, or giving you one because imagine sun in 26 kilos on top of you, fucking hell, fucking banging you, or from behind, you'd knock you out the window in the forest, out of the tree.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: And they've got an arm span of around 2.4 metres, so like you put your arms out, 2.4, so huge body, huge muscles, huge teeth, huge head, but comparatively, very modest genitals, very modest, yeah.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: And apparently, um, chimpanzees have got very large testes relative to their size, and gorillas absolutely don't.
18:33
SPEAKER_02: Oh, poor gorilla.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: I know, yeah.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: Um, and gorillas do have fingerprints, but like I said at the beginning, they do have like a distinctive pattern of wrinkles on their nose.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: It's so cute.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: It's like I think dogs are the same.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: I think dogs have got uh unique nose prints as well.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: I didn't know about gorillas.
18:52
SPEAKER_00: Um, and these noseprints are particularly distinctive in mountain gorillas, and they've been used to identify individual gorillas and those who are looking after them in the preservation sites, they know them all by name, obviously, but like the nose prints have been identified, they've recorded them.
19:10
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: Fucking love this.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: And lastly, because I quite like this, gorillas build nests, so not like bird nests, gorilla-sized beds basically made from leaves, branches, vegetation.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: And adults may build uh daytime nests for naps, as well as proper like nighttime sleeper nests, and they generally don't sleep in the same bed every night, they'll make a bed and then toss it the next morning and then make a new one.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: So they're quite um domesticated in their own little way, but by that I mean like behaviours, yeah, you know, like they've got a routine, so they'll make their bed every day.
19:57
SPEAKER_02: That is mad bad, isn't it?
19:58
SPEAKER_00: I mean, and I say a gorilla, a gorilla and I say a human.
20:01
SPEAKER_00: You know, they they behave the way they use their hands, the dexterity, it's better than gym.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: It's dexterity shit.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: Gorillas are winning hands down are cards, they're just holding cards, he's shit.
20:11
SPEAKER_00: The dexterity is amazing.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: The way they look at you, it's like they're really looking at you and trying to um what's the words I'm looking for?
20:20
SPEAKER_00: They're like mapping your face.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't surprise me, but it does, you know, these behaviours they're just so human, aren't they?
20:27
SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, a little bit there about gorillas because on the 24th of September it'll be World Gorilla Day.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: Um, there isn't a fucking Lady C Day, I have to make one.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: There's a Dominatrix Day.
20:44
SPEAKER_02: I can imagine.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: I can't remember when it is now.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: January or March, I think.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: I should know.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: But in a dominatrix, it's 21 news.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: Anyway.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: Right, so there you are.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: Gorillas.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Interesting little big fuckers, aren't they?
20:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: I love them anyway.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: I just find them interesting.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: But when I found there was a day, I was like, okay, let me see if I can find some stuff I didn't know about gorillas.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: And now you all know.
21:05
SPEAKER_00: Right, so we've been.
21:06
SPEAKER_02: Every day's a school day.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: Every day's a school day, especially the Padder Cell podcast.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: Megan, there's your show.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: You say what you want, babe.
21:14
SPEAKER_00: I know, but the C-word, it gets me in Facebook jail, won't it?
21:17
SPEAKER_00: I said it loads on Facebook, but I'm trying to be careful because I've been dead strict.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: Emily says afternoon.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: Ennis, hello.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: Oh, hello, Barbarella.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: Hello.
21:26
SPEAKER_02: Hello, love.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh, good to see you all.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: Right, we're gonna move on.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: But before I do, I didn't say chada facey because you've had far too long.
21:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and we want to say the C words.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: We want to say the C words because I'm being restrained.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: I don't like it.
21:41
SPEAKER_00: So, for all of you out there, whether it's uh Wednesday or nearly Thursday in the other parts of the world, have a good one, everybody.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining us as always.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: And you can catch this in a couple of weeks' time, or you can catch us tomorrow live on Patreon.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: See you soon.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: Right, so I'm gonna Move on to another little bit.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: And before I do it, it's also Remember Me Thursday.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What's Remember Me Thursday?
22:04
SPEAKER_00: It's not going to be maudlin, is it?
22:06
SPEAKER_00: But it's about um considering adopting a pet.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: So pets have been tossed aside and forgotten.
22:13
SPEAKER_00: So today, I've encouraged people to adopt a pet.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever adopted a pet?
22:19
SPEAKER_02: Um no.
22:20
SPEAKER_02: You haven't?
22:21
SPEAKER_02: No, I don't think some not like adopted a pet, no, I don't think so.
22:24
SPEAKER_00: We adopted Luna from Cyprus.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, so you all know she was like 17 kilos when we picked her up and she was 30 by the time she was up to full size.
22:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, very badly treated, puppy farmed, tossed on a mouse away when she wouldn't have any more puppies.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: Hopefully, in mind, they had that a car would hit her.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: And uh, thank God one of our friends, actually lives in Cyprus, found her.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: And she's got a she had a dog um place, dog sanctuary, and put her on Facebook, fell in love with it, and that was it.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: Why am I bringing her up?
22:53
SPEAKER_00: Because it was dead hard.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: She'd never lived in a house, she'd only ever been caged in a field, I think.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: Um, and she'd never been domesticated, she'd never been loved, she'd never had really good post-fuman contact.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: She'd never been in a lead, just a chain, I think.
23:08
SPEAKER_00: When we were trying to put a Colin Lead on her, she was a bit like, oh She's a lovely dog, eh?
23:11
SPEAKER_00: She was a really lovely dog, yeah.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: Badly treated then.
23:14
SPEAKER_00: But for about four months, I was like, I shall send her back.
23:17
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I wouldn't have, and obviously we didn't.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: But the thing she did, because she'd never been in a house before, everything was a toy.
23:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
23:24
SPEAKER_00: Me table legs, my skirt and boards, and skirting boards, I'd leave for ten minutes, and my skirt and board would be in bits.
23:31
SPEAKER_00: One night I brought all the takings out from work, yeah, left them on the table to do the next morning.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: She was locked out, it was fine.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: Came down the morning, started doing that.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: Also, I had other bits and bobs on the table.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: Went upstairs for a week.
23:44
SPEAKER_00: Literally, in the time it took to have away and washed my hands, I came down.
23:47
SPEAKER_00: And Luna had the money all over the floor, had been chewing it.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: I had chewed£20 notes.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: Thankfully, I took them to the bank and the serial numbers intact, but could have killed her.
23:56
SPEAKER_00: But the worst thing about it, that was fine.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: The worst thing, there was a paperback book on the table that I'd nearly finished and she destroyed it.
24:05
SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: I had to go back out and buy the book so I've got to finish the end.
24:09
unknown: Oh, that's good.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: Fucking twat.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: So would I encourage you to adopt a pest?
24:13
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: Just be prepared for the baggage that comes in an adopted pest because you don't know what behaviours they've had before.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: But you've got the time, the patience, and all the rest of it, it'll be fine.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: But it's not that easy, you know.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: No, it's not easy to adopt a pest.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: You've got to have home checks and all the rest of it.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: The other thing, I used to do home checks for the labradoodle trust.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: I used to have a lot of labradoodle and I volunteered for them.
24:34
SPEAKER_00: And so when somebody wanted a labradoodle, I would go to their house and check out and make sure that it was suitable.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: Because they're mad, they're big and they're mad.
24:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:41
SPEAKER_00: And families don't realise actually how mad they are.
24:44
SPEAKER_00: So I'd go in with our massive labradoodle and I'd take them off the lead.
24:48
SPEAKER_00: I'd I'd tell them in advance, I'm going to bring me dog.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: He's big, he's swishy, get everything off tables you don't want to break.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to take him off the lead because you need to know what it's like to have a dog like this in your house.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: And this one in particular, uh, in Walton.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: Lovely house, but there's like a coffee table full of stuff.
25:04
SPEAKER_00: There was just stuff everywhere, everywhere.
25:07
SPEAKER_00: And um Villow went in on the lead.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: I went, Are you guys okay?
25:11
SPEAKER_00: Stroke, stroke, stroke.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna take him off the lead now.
25:13
SPEAKER_00: Off.
25:13
SPEAKER_00: And he didn't run around, he just went like that, walked to go over to people.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: And you know the way dogs want to say hello, and they swish.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: He did that, swish, swish.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: Every bit of shit that was on the coffee table was on the floor.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: And I went, Oh, sorry about that, but yeah, I did forewarn you.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: And there was stuff everywhere, there was like knitting needles, and I was like, You need to take them out the way.
25:34
SPEAKER_00: He was chewing the wool, all that, you know.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: They had another dog, but the other dog was old and not big, so there was a bit of a shock.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: So I had to go back to the Labrador Trust and say, not suitable, or all these recommendations because they didn't know what they were gonna get.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so yeah, I was a volunteer for them, and um, you know, that's how how I know how hard it is now to adopt the dog.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they don't want them going off for like dog fighting and that, do they?
25:59
SPEAKER_00: Because that happens, doesn't it?
26:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it does.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: In this country, don't it happens elsewhere, but there's people that'll breed dogs, somebody'll go along and and pay for them or whatever, and that poor little dog is then gets chucked into the middle of a dog fight.
26:10
SPEAKER_02: Does happen.
26:11
SPEAKER_00: Highly illegal, but it does happen.
26:13
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely does happen.
26:15
SPEAKER_00: And dogs get robbed as well, don't they?
26:17
SPEAKER_00: Out of gardens for exactly the same thing.
26:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's like a big, big one, like the last sort of probably ten years, isn't it?
26:24
SPEAKER_02: When you're hearing about like dogs getting nicked and stuff like that, especially like you know, like source of Frenchies and stuff like that.
26:30
SPEAKER_02: French bulldogs and no source after breeds, I'm just getting robbed.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: It's just sad because that's that's the family member.
26:37
SPEAKER_00: It's like a child being abducted from the house, isn't it?
26:40
SPEAKER_02: You know, you're a part of your family, yeah.
26:41
SPEAKER_00: My dogs are like my kids.
26:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:43
SPEAKER_00: I love them more than my kids at one point.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: When our kids are teenagers, I fucking hated them.
26:47
SPEAKER_00: Loved our dogs though.
26:49
SPEAKER_00: You know what's like for teenagers, folks.
26:51
SPEAKER_00: We all have those moments of not liking them very much, you know what I mean.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: Right, I was gonna do another little thing, but we have been wishing a while, and I want to hear from you in a sec.
26:58
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna leave my segment.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: I might do it with a little extra later on, I don't know yes.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm just gonna do a quick dangly bit and then we'll hand over to you.
27:08
SPEAKER_00: It's a very quick dangly bit as well.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: So the last episode I did with you, do you remember what the dangly bit was?
27:15
SPEAKER_02: No.
27:15
SPEAKER_02: Okay, it was I've slept since then.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: And it was a while now, wasn't it?
27:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was a while ago.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: Um, it was when I brought in all the space invaders, Pac-Man and all that.
27:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I do remember that now.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: That was brilliant.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: Really, really enjoyed that.
27:29
SPEAKER_02: I was really impressed by that.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: And I said that my oldest one was the little space invader that you had.
27:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: And that was 1980 or 1981.
27:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:38
SPEAKER_00: Something like that.
27:39
SPEAKER_00: Still working and all the rest of it.
27:41
SPEAKER_00: That reel went down really well as well.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: Well, just recently, somebody, um, a close member of my family, passed away recently.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: And as you all know, I don't have many photos of myself, literally a handful to many.
27:54
SPEAKER_00: In fact, our Dan, who's 27 now, said to me over the weekend, it was a birthday, that um he's only ever seen photos of me 17 plus when I was with his dad.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: Because before then, there wasn't any.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: And my mum said she destroyed them years ago.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: My dad hasn't got any.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I managed to get some family photos, which has been amazing.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you don't want people to die, but this is a nice part of this person dying.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: And I've got loads.
28:20
SPEAKER_00: I've found loads, and me and Dan were going through them over the weekend.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: Really, really nice.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: He saw some people on they'd never seen before.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: He's seen photos of me when I was three and four, and he's like, Can't believe that's you.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: He's seeing photos of me pregnant, he's never seen me pregnant.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: Literally, I had no photos.
28:34
SPEAKER_00: Well, I found a photo of the Christmas when I received the Space Invader.
28:40
SPEAKER_02: And you've got it now, haven't you?
28:42
SPEAKER_00: And what I'll do, folks, so you won't be able to see it on camera.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'll flash it up on screen.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: And for those who want audio, I will show the photo of me with my space invader now and me when I was how well would I have been on here?
28:55
SPEAKER_00: Let's see what house it is.
28:57
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I would have been five because I recognised the house that I was in.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna show them to Andy now.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: There's me with the Space Invader, big pigtails.
29:09
SPEAKER_02: Wow, you'd never think that was you.
29:11
SPEAKER_02: But then I mean it's like kids, but when you see pictures like yourself, that that young like the fringe on you.
29:19
SPEAKER_00: I know, yeah.
29:21
SPEAKER_00: Big heavy fringe, jet black hair, and really, really, really long uh and a double chin.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I just got fatter after that, really.
29:29
SPEAKER_00: I didn't lose all that weight until I was like in my teenage years.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: But that was the year I received my space invader.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: Did you get on though to the very 70s orange carpet?
29:39
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
29:41
SPEAKER_02: Typical 70s carpet like that, or wallpaper like that in the yeah.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: What I'll do, I'll I've got another photo.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: It was a corner unit that we had, which was orange and brown.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: And the wallpaper.
29:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, it was it was just uh awful.
29:54
SPEAKER_00: Our house was a typical 70s house with a little typical nativity there under the tree as well.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
30:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh those are the days I and when you're innocent, when you're innocent and you don't know how fucking shit the world can be before all your bills and all the rest of it.
30:09
SPEAKER_00: You get a fucking space invader from Father Christmas.
30:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, school's stressful, fucking hell.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, damn me.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: But you know, you get a space invader off Father Christmas, yeah, and it's so innocent, isn't it?
30:21
SPEAKER_00: Look what Father Christmas has brought me, and your mum and dad have fuman because they've been saving up for that thing where Father Christmas gets all the accolades, yeah.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: Those were the days, yeah.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: You were right then, and I believe you've got a something for us.
30:36
SPEAKER_02: Let me tell you.
30:37
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so like my segment's being about um secret societies and two cars, isn't it?
30:42
SPEAKER_02: So this one, the the ones I've done previously have been like kind of sort of oldy, worldy quaint and stuff.
30:50
SPEAKER_02: This is a bit more contemporary.
30:52
SPEAKER_02: So if I asked you oh god, I'm trying to focus with these contact lensing because I'm trying to look younger.
31:00
SPEAKER_02: So if I asked you to picture the target demographic for a cartoon about magical talking horses who solve problems with the magic of friendship, your brain would probably jump to an eight-year-old girl.
31:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
31:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:15
SPEAKER_02: And you'd be right.
31:16
SPEAKER_02: But around 2010, the internet did what the internet does best.
31:21
SPEAKER_02: It made things beautifully weird.
31:24
SPEAKER_02: So today we're going to talk about bronies.
31:28
SPEAKER_02: Bronies.
31:29
SPEAKER_02: Bronies.
31:30
SPEAKER_02: A massive subculture of teenagers and adult men who looked at a television joke television show designed to sell plastic toys to children and said, Yes, this is my identity.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: Fucking hell.
31:43
SPEAKER_02: The name is a portmanteau of bro and pony.
31:46
SPEAKER_02: What started as an ironic joke on the darker corners of the internet quickly evolved into a massive cultural phenomenon.
31:53
SPEAKER_02: I'm being serious.
31:54
SPEAKER_02: What year is this?
31:55
SPEAKER_02: 2010.
31:57
SPEAKER_00: Brony.
31:58
SPEAKER_02: Brony.
31:58
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
31:59
SPEAKER_02: So how did grown men get sucked into a world of sparkles and rainbows?
32:04
SPEAKER_00: Aya Kev.
32:06
SPEAKER_02: You can blame excellent writing.
32:08
SPEAKER_02: The show was re-engineered by animator Lauren Forst, who had a radical idea.
32:14
SPEAKER_02: What if a children's show didn't insult the audience's intelligence?
32:18
SPEAKER_02: Suddenly, instead of shallow one-dimensional characters, viewers found deep lore, clever humour, and epic multi-episode story arcs.
32:28
SPEAKER_02: Adults who tuned in to laugh at the show accidentally got hooked.
32:32
SPEAKER_02: But being a brony isn't just a passive hobby, it's a full-time creative enterprise.
32:36
SPEAKER_02: The sheer volume of fan-made content is terrifyingly impressive.
32:41
SPEAKER_02: We aren't just talking about a few crying drawings.
32:45
SPEAKER_02: Bronies have produced full symphonic rock operas, studio grade animations, and fanfiction novels longer than War and Peace.
32:55
SPEAKER_03: Fucking hell.
32:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
32:57
SPEAKER_02: They also started throwing massive global conventions at its peak.
33:01
SPEAKER_02: BronyCon.
33:02
SPEAKER_02: BronyCon! BronyCon attracted over 10,000 attendees.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: Where was it, you know?
33:08
SPEAKER_02: I don't know, to be honest, somewhere in the state, isn't it?
33:11
SPEAKER_02: That's thousands of adults gathered in a convention centre, high-fiving each other, wearing homemade wings and aggressively buying custom plushies.
33:20
SPEAKER_02: Naturally, the rest of the world looked at this and panicked.
33:22
SPEAKER_02: A lot of people didn't know what to make of adult men crying over a cartoon Pegasus.
33:27
SPEAKER_02: But beneath the internet memes, the fandom actually did something pretty cool.
33:32
SPEAKER_02: It compl completely broke traditional rules of masculinity.
33:36
SPEAKER_02: In a world where guys are told to be stoic and tough, or stoic is it, bronies proudly chose to celebrate empathy, kindness, and unironic joy.
33:46
SPEAKER_02: In conclusion, the Brony phenomenon provides two th proves two things.
33:51
SPEAKER_02: First, that great storytelling can break down any demographic barrier.
33:55
SPEAKER_02: And second, never underestimate the power of internet culture to turn a corporate toy commercial into a global movement of radical kindness.
34:08
SPEAKER_02: So uh if this it was uh a commercial for a toy, it was it was a a new animated series of My Little Pony, but with like do you remember like because there was one like there was one like in the 80s, wasn't he, when we were kids?
34:26
SPEAKER_02: I'm pretty sure.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:28
SPEAKER_02: And um it was like uh a revamp of it, and it was like but like the writing was a bit clever apparently.
34:34
SPEAKER_00: So it was My Little Pony and the followers were bronies.
34:40
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
34:41
SPEAKER_00: So and they go to Brony Cons wearing wings and all the rest.
34:47
SPEAKER_00: It's like it's almost like a um like not like a Comic Con or uh they have like um fairy cons, don't they?
34:55
SPEAKER_00: And all that kind of thing for fairies and all that and hip pops and stuff.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: Um okay, so they have their own thing.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: How's it then developed from just fans following My Little Pony, calling themselves bronies, to developing full animated uh stuff themselves?
35:15
SPEAKER_02: Because they're they're just so into it, and apparently I mean I there's a there's a lot of stuff on the internet about this.
35:23
SPEAKER_02: Apparently, it's like quite it was it was quite a big thing in the military in the US as well.
35:29
SPEAKER_02: Got on with like the the fellow like people in like the platoons or whatever.
35:33
SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure one.
35:35
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know what?
35:36
SPEAKER_00: Whatever whatever gets you through the day, guys in the military.
35:39
SPEAKER_00: If if you want to be a brownie to get you through your military service, then you do it.
35:44
SPEAKER_02: I'm telling you.
35:46
SPEAKER_02: It's an all sorts of huge thing.
35:48
SPEAKER_00: Why isn't Kev a brownie?
35:49
SPEAKER_00: This is Susan Wright out of the ground.
35:51
SPEAKER_02: I don't know, maybe I mean maybe he is, and he just maybe maybe he isn't.
35:54
SPEAKER_00: He just hasn't like sort of oh maybe he hasn't found it.
35:58
SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's an untapped now.
36:01
SPEAKER_02: It's making me want to watch it just to see what the fuss is about.
36:05
SPEAKER_00: It's not making me want to watch it.
36:07
SPEAKER_02: I'll probably watch it and be like, ah no, I don't get it, you know what?
36:09
SPEAKER_02: I didn't know.
36:10
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I might become a brony, I don't know.
36:13
SPEAKER_02: Brony.
36:14
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
36:14
SPEAKER_02: You just don't know, do you?
36:15
SPEAKER_00: You're the scouse division.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: The brony scouse division, but we don't call those brony footers.
36:20
SPEAKER_00: Brony.
36:21
SPEAKER_00: Brony.
36:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, with a brony scouse division, lad.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: Well, I've never heard of that.
36:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's cool.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: I do actually remember the uh resurgence of My Little Pony.
36:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
36:35
SPEAKER_00: One of my mates collected My Little Pony.
36:38
SPEAKER_00: You might not remember this if you have any Adney girlfriends, but the My Little Ponies had a smell.
36:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't remember that.
36:44
SPEAKER_00: Do you remember?
36:45
SPEAKER_00: There was like a purple one.
36:47
SPEAKER_00: Oh, of course.
36:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:48
SPEAKER_00: There's like a purple one, and like you brush the tail.
36:52
SPEAKER_00: I know we are the way you grow up there, you're not gonna have my little pony.
36:55
SPEAKER_00: But they'd like brush the tail and it like release a smell.
36:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
36:59
SPEAKER_00: That was the only thing I was fascinated in because with my nose, I've got a nose like a blood hound.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: I was like brushing the tail and sniffing up, but I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't girly, I didn't play with anything like that.
37:09
SPEAKER_00: I was action men, cars, lego, tree houses.
37:14
SPEAKER_00: Oh boss wasn't I still love Lego.
37:16
SPEAKER_00: I do I if I go around to somebody's house and as a kid and they've got Lego, you'll get no conversation out of me apart from have you got a sixer, please?
37:27
SPEAKER_02: I remember the I remember my youngest, the youngest was like, well, into Lego and that, like I get her there for Krimbo and stuff like that, Krimbo Christmas.
37:35
SPEAKER_02: I mean, and um she'd be struggling with it.
37:38
SPEAKER_02: I'll be like, yeah, I'll just pass that overload.
37:39
SPEAKER_02: I'll sort that up that put me Lego friends with Stephanie and Stacio or whoever the frig it was in it, like, oh yeah, sort this millions.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I do love Lego, absolutely love Lego.
37:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right, thank you very much for that.
37:54
SPEAKER_02: You're welcome.
37:55
SPEAKER_00: I might just look up the bromies just out of curiosity.
37:58
SPEAKER_02: There's tons of stuff about it, but honestly, it was like a there's like a like when I was reading about it, it was like quite a big thing in the military.
38:05
SPEAKER_00: That's why I want to look at it now.
38:07
SPEAKER_00: Before that, I would have gone, I'll look for some pictures to put up on the video.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: But now that you said military, I'm like, I'm intrigued.
38:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:14
SPEAKER_00: It's the pink division of the military, they're all brunies.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: Love it, love it.
38:19
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, right, we are gonna move on to a lazy lobotomy.
38:24
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
38:25
SPEAKER_00: This one shocked me.
38:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh god, shocked you, it must be yeah, it's not it's not bad, it's just one that you go, oh god, no.
38:34
SPEAKER_00: Oh no, and I think I know what I'd say, but I need your help on this.
38:42
SPEAKER_00: Okay, now I'll go on.
38:44
SPEAKER_00: Okay, brace yourself, Stephen.
38:46
SPEAKER_00: I'm braced, dear, Lady Lobotomy.
38:52
SPEAKER_00: I am a twin and I have a professional job, but I'm also a swinger.
38:58
SPEAKER_00: I was taken into the chief's office recently because someone had found a profile on a swinging forum which had my photo on it.
39:05
SPEAKER_00: The problem is it wasn't me, it was my brother.
39:09
SPEAKER_00: I go to clubs, I don't use forums, and I didn't know my brother is a swinger.
39:14
SPEAKER_00: As he is also, as he also has a professional job.
39:18
SPEAKER_00: Let's put it this way: we do the same job but in different departments.
39:22
SPEAKER_00: I've got an idea what they do.
39:27
SPEAKER_02: Gotta be honored.
39:28
SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to throw my brother under the bus by saying it wasn't me, whilst wondering why the hell he has his face on a swinging sight in brackets.
39:36
SPEAKER_00: So I bumbled my way through an explanation of someone must have used my photo.
39:41
SPEAKER_00: I was asked if I wanted an investigation into the matter, and I said I need to think about it as I was in shock.
39:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
39:47
SPEAKER_00: I immediately contacted my brother, who is mortified.
39:52
SPEAKER_00: We don't know what to do, as this kind of extracurricular activity is shunned upon in our line of work, and it may affect our credibility or even our progression.
40:01
SPEAKER_00: I know this is a bit much, but do you have any thoughts?
40:05
SPEAKER_00: Names excluded for obvious reasons.
40:09
SPEAKER_00: So my initial thing was, but he can't say, Well, it's not me, it's my brother, because his brother's the same line of work.
40:16
SPEAKER_00: He's literally thrown his brother under the bus who could lose his job.
40:21
SPEAKER_00: So both of them would have to say, Well, somebody's obviously took our photographs.
40:26
SPEAKER_02: I think you'd have to stick to that story and say, like, say some say I've had to think about it.
40:30
SPEAKER_02: I don't want an investigation, but I think you'd have to stick with the line of someone's trying to stitch me up.
40:36
SPEAKER_00: I think I'll do it.
40:38
SPEAKER_02: Get the fuck off that photo.
40:39
SPEAKER_00: Get the profile down.
40:40
SPEAKER_00: What the fuck are you doing?
40:41
SPEAKER_00: Put your photo on there, you know, better.
40:43
SPEAKER_02: Get off everything to do with that and just like say, like, someone's trying to stitch it up.
40:47
SPEAKER_02: That's the only way you could do it.
40:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
40:49
SPEAKER_02: Because the only other thing is he goes like it's not me, it's our kids.
40:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, which you're not going to do to your twin.
40:54
SPEAKER_02: Well, no.
40:57
SPEAKER_00: So my advice is for the um the guilty twin to take the profile down immediately.
41:04
SPEAKER_00: Um if you haven't already.
41:06
SPEAKER_02: Especially if in the line of work where they can fuck you up.
41:08
SPEAKER_02: Definitely gotta get it off.
41:10
SPEAKER_00: This actually only came through two days ago, and um I have replied, but they haven't come back to me, so I don't know if they haven't read it yet.
41:16
SPEAKER_00: So um, but I'm thinking they will by the time this goes out, and I can chat to them about it.
41:21
SPEAKER_00: But you know, take the profile down immediately, and I've just you know jointly come to um a line that you both agree upon that you know, somebody's catfishing us, and and you know, they're they're using our photo.
41:33
SPEAKER_00: It's not us.
41:34
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, we're we're not swingers, and we wouldn't put ourselves out there because we wouldn't want to risk our jobs, so why would we do that?
41:41
SPEAKER_02: What's a lot of never found out each other?
41:43
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
41:44
SPEAKER_00: Well, one's a swinger who doesn't go go on forums at all, he only goes to clubs.
41:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:49
SPEAKER_00: The other one goes on forums, so he might have private meetings or yeah, well, yeah, that's that's a point, yeah.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, people swing in different ways, don't they?
41:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's not just house parties.
41:58
SPEAKER_00: It's not just in a club, is it?
41:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we're going dogging.
42:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that tune, the woman on the piano, the dogging song.
42:03
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you've got to look it up.
42:05
SPEAKER_00: Can't remember her name now.
42:06
SPEAKER_00: Right, this is on on video.
42:07
SPEAKER_00: So for those on video, I'll find out her name and I'll flash it up on screen.
42:10
SPEAKER_00: But she does all sorts of songs.
42:12
SPEAKER_00: There's one about being a cunt, and there's one about dogging, and she's got two people in the background.
42:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know, yeah, yeah, I know who it is now.
42:18
SPEAKER_02: Elsa something, I think her name is.
42:20
SPEAKER_00: Fucking hate.
42:21
SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be a cunt it's Christmas or something, isn't it?
42:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't know who it is.
42:23
SPEAKER_00: But the dog on one's brilliant.
42:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
42:25
SPEAKER_00: Um it's it's yeah, but these two then, um you're just gonna have to deny, deny, deny.
42:31
SPEAKER_02: You just gotta deny.
42:32
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely deny, but you need to have words, your kidding sounds like yeah, and what the fuck were you doing, lad?
42:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
42:39
SPEAKER_00: Risking your job and mine, by the way.
42:42
SPEAKER_00: You know, need I have to remind you we're I identical fucking twins.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
42:48
SPEAKER_00: It's not like it's a cock shot, and you're fighting identical cocks, that'd be interesting, wouldn't it?
42:52
SPEAKER_00: Wouldn't that the case?
42:54
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I want to know.
42:57
SPEAKER_00: Any twins out there?
42:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
42:59
SPEAKER_00: Any twins out there?
43:00
SPEAKER_00: How many of them do you get?
43:03
SPEAKER_00: A lot.
43:03
SPEAKER_02: Do you get loads coming and then do you just sort of go through and go right?
43:06
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'll do that one.
43:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
43:08
SPEAKER_00: So um I get a lot.
43:09
SPEAKER_00: Now, at first I didn't, and that's why I didn't do Lady Lobotomies all the time, because they weren't always coming in.
43:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, but now I get a loss.
43:17
SPEAKER_00: I think people are obviously enjoying the advice and all that.
43:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, so now what I do sometimes I'll just ghost them privately.
43:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
43:24
SPEAKER_00: Um if I don't, if it's something that I might have covered before, or something that I don't think would be helpful to all of you, because obviously this is your podcast too.
43:31
SPEAKER_00: It's not just about their advice.
43:33
SPEAKER_00: It could be something that's really, really specific to them, which isn't helpful for you.
43:36
SPEAKER_00: So to go back to direct.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: Some I'll leave for a little bit, I'll answer them direct, then I'll leave it until like a point on the pod that's relevant.
43:44
SPEAKER_00: So like I might have one that would be good for Kev.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: So I'll talk to Kev about it, but I might have already spoken to them on email.
43:51
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: But I'm reading it out for everybody else so you hear it.
43:54
SPEAKER_00: Other times it's a last minute one like this, and I haven't actually spoken to them hearing the advice for the first time one here.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: But I get a lot.
44:01
SPEAKER_00: I get them on Facebook, Instagram, mainly email.
44:05
SPEAKER_00: I try and reply to them all, but honestly, I am flooded with Lady Lobosomies.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: It's great.
44:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:11
SPEAKER_00: And some of the ones that I raise, I'm like, oh fuck off.
44:14
SPEAKER_00: You are kidding me.
44:17
SPEAKER_00: Honestly.
44:19
SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes the Lady Lobosomes is just telling me stuff, you know.
44:22
SPEAKER_00: I don't need advice, but I just need to tell you this.
44:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
44:25
SPEAKER_00: Which wouldn't necessarily be interesting for you, but yeah, it's good.
44:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
44:28
SPEAKER_00: It's nice.
44:28
SPEAKER_00: I do get loads.
44:29
SPEAKER_00: Like, it's like I feel like Santa, my mailbag's full.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: So, but when I read that literally two days ago, I started off reading.
44:38
SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay.
44:39
SPEAKER_00: Oh god.
44:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
44:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
44:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, definitely gotta like just deny.
44:46
SPEAKER_02: Deny, deny.
44:48
SPEAKER_00: It was when he said your stories.
44:50
SPEAKER_00: I was taken to Chief's office.
44:51
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I wonder if he's a cop eh.
44:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think so.
44:54
SPEAKER_00: Or like sometimes like uh paramedics and that called Chiefs Chiefs, or you know, some kind of uniformed service, I'd say.
45:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:04
SPEAKER_00: But anyway.
45:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:07
SPEAKER_02: Right then.
45:08
SPEAKER_02: But you know, I mean, there's a there's a solution there.
45:10
SPEAKER_00: There is a solution there, Janai, everything.
45:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:14
SPEAKER_02: Can't prove it.
45:15
SPEAKER_02: Get your stories, face, and deny.
45:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:18
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, before we go, we are going to finish on a fetish factoid.
45:22
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
45:22
SPEAKER_00: Little short one, not too bad.
45:24
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what?
45:25
SPEAKER_00: We haven't witted that long today.
45:27
SPEAKER_00: I've been trying to cut it down.
45:28
SPEAKER_02: Oh no, we didn't do like an on this day, did we?
45:31
SPEAKER_02: We did.
45:32
SPEAKER_02: Gorillas! Yeah, but like an on this day in such and such a year.
45:35
SPEAKER_00: I have got one.
45:37
SPEAKER_00: And what I said at the beginning was, I have got one, but I might do it at the end.
45:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:40
SPEAKER_00: I might do it later on.
45:41
SPEAKER_02: Fair enough, yeah, because that's that's only these like undo this.
45:44
unknown: Oh, is it?
45:45
SPEAKER_02: That's the team biscuits.
45:48
SPEAKER_00: Well, do you know what I might do then, folks?
45:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, for Patreons, we'll do our fetish factoid, we'll say terra, and then I'll I'll do this on this day just for our patrons because it's a really good one.
45:58
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
45:59
SPEAKER_00: A really good one.
46:00
SPEAKER_02: Okay, come on.
46:01
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
46:02
SPEAKER_00: But before we do that, do you know the muffin man?
46:06
SPEAKER_00: The muffin man! Him, yeah.
46:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, do you know the origin of the word wank?
46:16
SPEAKER_00: No.
46:17
SPEAKER_00: No.
46:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure everybody out there knows the word wank.
46:22
SPEAKER_00: But just in case there's some international listeners out there, you know, if English isn't your first language, wank is uh masturbation.
46:32
SPEAKER_00: Or do we know the origins?
46:42
SPEAKER_00: So that's fucking clapping on is that not what you do?
46:48
SPEAKER_02: Um with that face, no.
46:50
SPEAKER_02: I do that, but it's almost with Well you need to now.
46:54
SPEAKER_00: That's more like a anti-climax, then yeah.
47:01
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so obviously it's a vulgar slang word for male masturbation.
47:08
SPEAKER_00: But I've I've heard loads of girls say wank.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: I say wank.
47:11
SPEAKER_02: I've heard women say wank.
47:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, loads.
47:13
SPEAKER_00: I mean, uh referring to themselves as having a wank as well.
47:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, no, yeah.
47:17
SPEAKER_00: Loads, yeah, but uh it's it's male predominantly, but I don't agree with that.
47:22
SPEAKER_00: Now the origins are uncertain, but I did a bit of digging and there are some thoughts on where the word wank came from.
47:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
47:33
SPEAKER_00: So the earliest rec recorded um written account of the word wank as a verb appears in the early 1900s.
47:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, and there's a publication, 1905, called the Memoirs for Luxury.
47:48
SPEAKER_00: And then there was a dictionary in 1948 which had the word wank.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh the first written account of the word wank.
47:56
SPEAKER_00: But we know it must it goes back, but it comes from somewhere because wank is nothing like the word masturbation.
48:02
SPEAKER_02: No, not at all.
48:03
SPEAKER_00: So where how have we come across the word wank?
48:08
SPEAKER_02: Willy yank.
48:10
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what?
48:11
SPEAKER_00: You're not far off, but no.
48:12
SPEAKER_02: I just came to me as like some kind of epiphany.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: I like it.
48:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not here, but I might just add it.
48:20
SPEAKER_00: You're not far off.
48:21
SPEAKER_00: So it might derive apparently from the earlier slang word wang, right?
48:29
SPEAKER_00: And it's a term meaning to hit, beat, or slap, which is associated with male masturbation.
48:35
SPEAKER_00: Beating the bishop, innit?
48:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
48:37
SPEAKER_02: Choking the chicken.
48:38
SPEAKER_00: Choking the chicken.
48:40
SPEAKER_00: So I've actually used the word wang for penis.
48:42
SPEAKER_00: I've actually said massive wang.
48:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I've used it like a couple of times.
48:47
SPEAKER_00: But I haven't actually used it in place of wank.
48:50
SPEAKER_00: So it's beat slap.
48:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:53
SPEAKER_00: Um, the other one, another thing you suggest is like a conflation of the words whack and yank, both words linked obviously to the act of masturbation.
49:03
SPEAKER_00: Whack.
49:04
SPEAKER_00: Do you whack your cock?
49:05
SPEAKER_00: Yank it.
49:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they're not whack it at all.
49:09
SPEAKER_00: Just give a little beat around.
49:11
SPEAKER_00: Any people like me do that.
49:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
49:12
SPEAKER_00: If it's hard as well, it's bosh, you know, you do that.
49:15
SPEAKER_00: Because when it's flaccid, especially if it's small, you can't you can't whack it, you've got to flick it because it's small, isn't it?
49:21
SPEAKER_00: You just flick it and your fingers buries into flesh, you know.
49:27
SPEAKER_00: But you can save experience in this.
49:30
SPEAKER_00: But when it's hard, you go, and the dick goes yong.
49:35
SPEAKER_00: So when you whack it, it feels like you're actually whacking something.
49:38
SPEAKER_00: It's not just like flesh.
49:41
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, Andy's got a bit sick here.
49:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
49:44
SPEAKER_02: Sitting across leggings and the amazing equipment.
49:48
SPEAKER_00: Cock and balls just retracted into your chest.
49:53
SPEAKER_00: And finally, some linguists note a possible connection.
49:57
SPEAKER_00: I like this, to Dutch wanken, meaning to move back and forth, which could uh obviously metaphorically relate to the movement of back and forth.
50:08
SPEAKER_00: That's my favourite.
50:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
50:11
SPEAKER_00: Dutch wankin.
50:12
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I'm saying?
50:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking, you know, if it's Dutch thing, it'll be vanken.
50:18
SPEAKER_00: Or wankin.
50:19
SPEAKER_00: Vanken.
50:22
SPEAKER_00: Shite.
50:22
SPEAKER_00: I should know this.
50:24
SPEAKER_00: So to all the Dutch people out there, I'm really sorry.
50:28
SPEAKER_00: I could have looked it up, really.
50:29
SPEAKER_00: I just assumed it was wankin, but it could be vanken.
50:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm destroying this completely, aren't I?
50:35
SPEAKER_02: Who knows?
50:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's my favourite.
50:37
SPEAKER_00: Got in touch.
50:38
SPEAKER_00: So it's either uh it comes from wang, whack and yank, or wankin'.
50:46
SPEAKER_00: Or just stick to having a wank.
50:49
SPEAKER_02: To be fair though, it is quite some weird words, isn't it?
50:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
50:53
SPEAKER_00: Because I was thinking something came up and I was like, I wonder where the word wank came from.
50:57
SPEAKER_00: Because it's nothing like masturbation.
50:59
SPEAKER_00: So that's where that's where it came from.
51:00
SPEAKER_00: Just my curiosity about half eleven at night one nice.
51:03
SPEAKER_02: My my favourite expression, I've got to share this with you, for uh for having a wank, is uh have a fiddle with your loose change.
51:11
SPEAKER_00: Fiddle with your loose change, yeah.
51:13
SPEAKER_00: Mine's five knuckle shuffle.
51:15
SPEAKER_02: Five knuckle shuffle or make a trousery adjustment.
51:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh yes, I like that.
51:20
SPEAKER_02: That's quite formal.
51:22
SPEAKER_02: I like that one.
51:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I like that.
51:23
SPEAKER_02: That's if you post that.
51:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, or the five knuckle shuffles only if you've got a cock long enough for five.
51:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
51:28
SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, like two.
51:30
SPEAKER_00: If you've got a micro penis, or if you've got a macro, it's two hands.
51:37
SPEAKER_00: As Jim says, his feet.
51:40
SPEAKER_00: He says he won't he wears a settlement's feet out.
51:44
SPEAKER_00: Fuck a wishful thinking that, Jim.
51:49
SPEAKER_00: All the words for having a wank.
51:51
SPEAKER_00: Five knuckle shuffle, fiddle with your change, tossing off, tossing off, beating the bishop, choke the chicken, choke the chicken.
51:58
SPEAKER_02: Said that's nice.
51:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
51:59
SPEAKER_00: Um, what other words have we got for a wank?
52:04
SPEAKER_02: Throw myself around the room like a ragdoll.
52:06
SPEAKER_00: Throw yourself around the room like a ragdoll.
52:11
SPEAKER_00: Um, I can't think of anything else.
52:14
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, there you go.
52:15
SPEAKER_00: So for the international listeners out there, you've just heard some um English ways to say the word masturbation wank.
52:22
SPEAKER_02: Rice in with yours.
52:23
SPEAKER_00: Please do.
52:25
SPEAKER_00: I want the international um, I want words for wank or masturbation around the world, but also, you know, little ways you say I'm having a wank.
52:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
52:35
SPEAKER_00: Like five knuckle shuffle, choking the chicken.
52:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
52:38
SPEAKER_00: Like that.
52:39
SPEAKER_00: Anyway.
52:40
SPEAKER_00: So on that wank bombshell, we're gonna go.
52:44
SPEAKER_00: But Patreons stay on because I'm gonna do our little extra bit.
52:47
SPEAKER_00: Oof.
52:48
SPEAKER_00: Another reason for y'all to join Patreon.
52:51
SPEAKER_00: I'd say.
52:51
SPEAKER_00: And it's a really good one as well.
52:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
52:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because I was going on a bit at the beginning, I was like, it's too long, and I'll cut it short, it won't be as good.
52:58
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, we're gonna go.
52:59
SPEAKER_00: So, do you want to do the thing?
53:01
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm gonna go.
53:02
SPEAKER_00: It's been a while, hasn't it?
53:03
SPEAKER_00: You forgot.
53:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, basically.
53:05
SPEAKER_02: I never even knew it was a starter.
53:07
SPEAKER_00: Well, you have to do is start writing on your hands.
53:09
SPEAKER_02: I know, yeah, go.
53:11
SPEAKER_00: Or when you wear shorts, write it on your leg.
53:15
SPEAKER_02: Do you know today is like the first time where I've got up in in months and being like, I'm actually gonna put like not wear shorts?
53:23
SPEAKER_00: I put the fire on this, won't I?
53:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I'd like knew all them, they call them shapers, like a hooded thing down to the ground.
53:29
SPEAKER_00: I'd that on.
53:29
SPEAKER_00: It's fucking grim out there.
53:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but then because of menopausal, it lasted 30 seconds and I was off naked in a sweaty pool.
53:36
SPEAKER_02: Oh, but it's it's it's not nice out there, it's like it's mad, mad, mad weather.
53:40
SPEAKER_02: So long sous, and I and I put my avocado short of socks on.
53:44
SPEAKER_00: Oh, did you get them from um porso?
53:47
SPEAKER_00: I think yeah, that's it, yeah.
53:49
SPEAKER_02: That's it.
53:50
SPEAKER_02: They'd be porso socks then.
53:52
SPEAKER_02: Avocados.
53:53
SPEAKER_00: Avocado.
53:55
SPEAKER_00: Avocado and scouse.
53:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
53:57
SPEAKER_00: Avocado.
53:59
SPEAKER_00: Right, we've got to get I was saying chara, five minutes again.
54:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I'll let yeah, go on.
54:02
SPEAKER_00: So do the thing.
54:03
SPEAKER_00: If you're binge watching, put the kettle on.
54:05
SPEAKER_00: We'll see you in five.
54:06
SPEAKER_02: If not, we'll see you next week.
54:11
SPEAKER_00: Coming up on episode 153.
54:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm touching your arse, I'm so sorry.
54:17
SPEAKER_00: Don't go like you know, putting coffee up your arsehole.
54:21
SPEAKER_01: If you do, let it cool down first.
54:22
SPEAKER_00: Please don't.
54:23
SPEAKER_00: Confessions of a TV sex journalist.
54:26
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've I've mastered the art of doing these things without make myself gag and look really unsexy now.
54:31
SPEAKER_00: I know with the colours of the cocktails, I wonder what's that gonna do to me inside?
54:34
SPEAKER_00: That's another old person thing to say, isn't it?
54:37
SPEAKER_00: I've found some other stuff.
54:39
SPEAKER_00: Of course I have, because it's the Battersell podcast! I don't talk about boring stuff.
54:44
SPEAKER_00: On location, I just moved that lamp because I can see too much cock.
54:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, if they started prancing around the back garden in a bridle, going to You're not fucking turning me, but I can see why people are like she's not.
54:58
SPEAKER_00: Brilliant what you said.
54:59
SPEAKER_00: Or less.
55:01
SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's done.
55:03
SPEAKER_02: And I hope you find your angstock.
55:06
SPEAKER_00: And there we have it! Another day made better by listening to the Couaters of Chaos.
55:11
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for dropping by, and if you enjoyed the show, we'd really appreciate you sharing your love the Panthercell Podcast with your friends.
55:19
SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to give us a follow on our socials, maybe leave us some five-star reviews, and feel free to send us an email to medic at thepantaselpodcast.co.uk, or even interrupt us on Facebook because we love chatting to you.
55:32
SPEAKER_00: Be sure to stop by next week because, as Bowie says, I don't know where I'm going next, but I promise it won't be bored.
55:40
SPEAKER_00: Catch you soon.