Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Ep. 06 | 3 Things Jeff Learned about Fatherhood from Back to the Future

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Ep. 06 | 3 Things Jeff Learned about Fatherhood from Back to the Future · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:06
  Hey guys, welcome to the 5-Minute Fatherhood Podcast. I'm your co-host, Jeff Beth Key, along with my friend and mentor, Jeremy Pryor. Join us Monday through Friday as we chat about quick tips, skills, and ways to help equip you on your journey as a father to build your multi-generational family team on mission. Stay tuned.
• 0:27
  Hey, guys. Jeff and Jeremy here, 5-Minute Fatherhood Podcast, and we have a special episode for you guys. So if you know anything about Jeff, you know he's obsessed with Back to the Future. That's right. And I got to do a whole episode on lessons I learned about fatherhood from the Godfather, and I could have gone on and on, and we could have probably done...
• 0:46
  a whole 10 episodes just on that. And so I got me thinking, like, is there actually any lessons about fatherhood from Back to the Future? Or does Jeff just like this because it's entertaining? So is there any redeeming fatherhood value from this movie franchise, Jeff? If it is, give it to us. What is it? Which, by the way, it is seriously the best movie ever. I tried to get Alyssa to see if we could name our sons Marty and Doc, but she wasn't having it.
• 1:09
  Um, if we, we have to have another son anyway, thank God for her wives. I know, right. They're actually smart and wise and don't let everything, they have filters that block some things for the good of all of us. Um, I think no completely though. I think it's actually a brilliant film on a few different regards. One, it completely shows it's one of the best microcosms and perfect examples across generations of how.
• 1:31
  kind of the stereotypical bad dad, right? All the way from 1955 to 1985 to 2015. Those are the three eras they go to. They also go to an alternate 1985, if you really know what you're doing, you know, with Biff when he's an evil man. But anyways, except actually in one scene, but,
• 1:48
  Yeah. And so what I think is really interesting is not just that, but there's two lessons that I see there. And the one is, notice how the movie completely frames the entire narrative and the hero's journey and the premise and the plot, not around Marty and his father, but around Marty and Doc, right? It's almost as if Doc, like it's very clear the age gap there that is very much like a fantasy.
• 2:08
  father-son relationship, right? But what is it actually based around? What it's based around, to me, is shared mission, vision, and shared activity. Like Doc and Marty are on a mission, right? To go back to 1955 to do some things, 2015 to save his son, etc. And why do I think that's interesting? One, because I feel like that should be his dad, right? I think, here's another way to put it.
• 2:31
  If you are not on mission with your kids, someone else will be on mission with them, and it might not be a mission you want. Right? Someone will give them meaning. Someone will give them value. Someone will give them direction if you're not. They need to live in a bigger, better story, and you're kind of the first person that gets to do that, but a lot of dads abdicate that responsibility.
• 2:49
  And so I don't think Doc's like the prototype of a best father, but they have a great relationship because of the shared activity. And I think it's what a lot of dads don't realize. We sometimes give our kids love. We sometimes give them the right morals. We give them Christian teaching. But a lot of us, we don't just hang out with our kids, like do shared activity and mission. And I think it's pretty clear from those movies that that is actually what gives a lot of depth and meaning. So do you have shared activity, shared mission, and shared vision with your kids?
• 3:16
  What's up? If you don't want some crazed scientist to bond with your vulnerable teenage children, then we recommend that you go on a mission with them before he does. Exactly. I mean, it is – I do always laugh actually at that part of the movie too where I'm like, is anyone actually questioning that like a teenager is just hanging out with a random grandpa guy who's like a weird scientist? Like that's weird. Okay. You know.
• 3:37
  And like, no, it's just like fine. But the and then the second the second lesson I would say, too, is notice to how most of the problems the movie's trying to fix with time travel, whether going back to 1955 or take 2015, for example, in the 2015 Back to the Future 2, Marty goes into the future to save his son.
• 3:55
  who's in some kind of criminal activity, some legal trouble, and it's clear that Marty is not a good dad in 2015. He's very passive. And so what's interesting is notice how the DeLorean time travel is almost trying to do what fatherhood should, right? Like the DeLorean's trying to go around and fix a bunch of fatherhood problems, right? Like if the father was actually active, was actually intentional, was actually thoughtful, and actually shepherded –
• 4:23
  his child and shepherded his family with direction and vision, then a lot of times the time travel wouldn't even be needed. So I think there's actually a ton of elements, but yeah, anything stand out to you on it, if you remember it or you said? Well, it's funny too, I really do like that 2015, you can tell that the reason why Marty is such a terrible father is because he has no identity. He's still trying to build his identity. He's still basically a teenager trying to...
• 4:47
  He's failing in his work. He's failing in his marriage. He's failing in his fatherhood. And he's scared to death someone's going to call him a chicken. And, you know, like, so he's just like he's so vulnerable at the identity level that his kids have no – they have no one to really –
• 5:02
  give them any kind of stability or there's no rock in their life that they can really attach to. So, because Marty's still trying to find their, and that's really is a pretty typical story, I think, culturally where we come from. So many of us as dads are really trying to figure out who we are. And it's important to understand that those identity issues that you're still wrestling with, if they become sort of the overarching story of your life in your thirties and your forties, that's going to be really hard on your ability to be a dad. It's important that you try to
• 5:32
  sort of resolve some of those identity issues, one of the ways to do that is to fully embrace the identity of being a father. Like, that's one of the ways you can say, this is who I am, and I'm going to really pursue this, and God's giving that to you as a gift. Like, hey, be a dad. Like, I'm going to give this to you. You didn't have to do anything crazy hard to earn this. Here it is. It's going to be a tough job to actually fulfill, but that'll help root you
• 5:58
  There's other ways. Of course, you can root in the story, the gospel, that's critical, that you understand who you are in Christ, who you are as a son of your heavenly father. You can root in your relationship with Jesus, who you are as someone who's been redeemed in that story. You can root in your multi-generational past if there's some good stories there that have been passed on to you. It's important to receive some of that. But yeah, that I see is playing out big time in that 2015 scene. Yeah.
• 6:25
  Hey guys, Jeff here. One thing me and Jeremy like to say is most fathers out there have never been taught how to be one. I know that was me until I met Jeremy. We have a Skill of Fatherhood masterclass that is on our website, familyteams.com. It literally walks through three modules with interviews, practical tips, training, and everything, including a digital workbook to show you the entire model from A to Z of how to be a father who leads his family team on mission and builds a multi-generational legacy. So again,
• 6:54
  FamilyTeams.com to check that out.