Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Ep. 53 | Founder Dad Mental Fitness: Trust Yourself Beyond the Plan to Beat Burnout
Transcript
- Shaun: Welcome back to the Reset Episode 53. Are the actions you are taking pulling you towards where you want to go? Or I could say it another way. Are the actions that you are taking taking you where you want to go. We live in a world now that really changes quickly. 15 years ago. Mobile phones were very different. I think it was almost in the time of flip phones and the Sony Ericsson flip. So if we look back even in the last 5 years, technology has shifted quite a lot. And why this is important is, if you're using outdated in information or software, things tend to run pretty cloggy and quite slow. So if you've got a phone that's five years old or six years old, which before I've upgraded to my now phone, it was about four or five years old, you start to notice that the firmware upgrades don't happen as frequently. the whole thing just runs slow and you look at the technology, the computers and stuff that you have as well. You know, I still have a laptop that's coming up to 10 years old and it was a great gaming laptop back in the day. So 10 years ago, it was like super high end, right? And why this is relevant in the actions you're taking towards the goal that you want to get to. is if you are following really old school methods that maybe were proven and tested and have got people results in the past, is it the most efficient and effective route? Because now we live in an information age where you have access to information straight away. And I think I've talked about this before on the podcast where if you have too many inputs, it's actually really hard to focus on one method to get you where you want to go. But to bring it back for a second, are the actions you're taking now, taking you towards the direction you want to go? When it comes to plans, when it comes to consistency and executing on a daily and weekly basis, there are things that are inside your control and things that are outside of your So what I mean by that is we can control the outputs only from the inputs. We can't actually control the outputs unless we have inputs happening. And if we're not measuring, if we're looking at what we're doing, well, we don't really know what impact it's making on the output, on the... and the outcomes. So if you're losing weight or if you're trying to lose weight or if you're trying to get stronger in the gym or you're trying to get more clients or maybe it's trying to you are trying to create more impact in your community whatever it is for you There's this thing called faith and trust, and trusting in the process. Sometimes, It's not about the plan. In fact, the best plan to have is one that doesn't go to plan. And this is because if we're constantly objectifying our inputs, if we're constantly measuring One, it gives us more things to track, yes, which is good because then we can kind of find out what's moving the needle forward. But is it the thing that is moving the needle forward? Or is it that you are actually just learning to back yourself, build that self trust, lean in a little bit deeper and really forging that self belief? Because the more congruent you are with your mind, in your thoughts, in your body, with your feelings, the more life will actually work with you. Whereas if you're coming to it from the point of view of, this is what I want and I'm gonna do everything in my way to get what I want. So I'm gonna be really rigid and really strict on the plan that I follow. Yes, it can get you results, but it will also make you miserable. I say that because I've been there, and I'm sure you've been there before as well. If you are trying to lose weight and you're addicted to chocolate. It's going to be really hard to stop eating chocolate completely and go cold turkey. If that's the only way in your mind that you believe you can get to the goal of losing weight and being at a healthy weight. Whereas a more modern approach would be you can eat the chocolate, you can have as much chocolate as you want. In fact, go and eat as much chocolate as you possibly can eat and see what happens. you'll probably find out you'll feel really, really sick. And I'm not encouraging this by any means, but there is some pretty ridiculous methods for being able to take control of a situation and achieving a goal. So I've heard that from somewhere. I can't remember where I heard that. But one of the methods was have the food that you are absolutely addicted to and eat it till you can't even look at it anymore. eat it to the point where you can never look at it the relationship with it changes completely because when that happens You are forcing yourself a shift in your identity. You don't identify as being someone who loves chocolate anymore, for example. and you don't have that addiction, right? So that's the two ends, extreme ends of the spectrum. One is completely go cold turkey and not have it anymore. You're not allowed to have it ever again. The second one is go absolutely crazy and have all literally just live on chocolate and see what happens. Both I would not recommend. haven't tried the second option, but I have felt quite sick and sick of eating ⁓ certain foods because of that very reason. I've just had way too much of it. So what's the approach that you can use that's actually practical that you can take away and actually start applying in your life? See, there is a place in you that already knows the answer. The only thing getting in the way is your mind. Is you doubting yourself? Is you not trusting fully in the process? And the reason I share this with you is because... No one has the unique knowledge, wisdom and memory like yourself. Everything about you is unique. Yes, you are 99.9 % similar to every other human being. Genetically, from a DNA point of view, there's not much difference, But what I'm saying is your separation, your difference, there's nothing quite like it. And you see studies on twins, right? They basically had the same childhood. They've lived the same and yet they respond very differently to the same stimulus. Why is this? It's because fundamentally there's a piece missing. There's the subjective nature of what it is. It's the subjective science. And this isn't just. what's control. is everything that's going on in the background, everything that happens in the environment, the billions and maybe trillions of bits of information that's constantly happening right now. If you were aware of all of that, you would go insane. So the brain has a way to filter it out so that it can make you feel safe, right? And that you can still be aware of perceiving threats and yeah, all of those things. So where am I going with this? Right. What does it mean to fully trust, to really lean into self-belief and still remain consistent on moving in the direction you want to go? getting yourself out of the way is the most practical version of that. whenever you're doubting, whenever you're asking yourself the question, am I doing it right? Am I doing it the right way? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? All of those little questions are indications that you're probably on the right track because this is where the mind becomes a little bit chaotic. And I'm saying this with an open. open heart and also an open invitation to experiment in your life. Because we are not our minds and nor are we our bodies. Both are tools. If we really want a life that's worth living and one that, you know, we get to choose how we respond to it, then we have to let go of what we think we are. and if our mind is conditioned to keep us. in a cage and what I mean by that is safe with boundaries, with limitations, then we'll need to unravel that and let, we can still have them there, but don't let them control us. And similarly with the body, the body has natural compulsions, right? When it needs food, it will literally change your physiology and make you go and get food. when it wants sex it will do the same thing. So how do we work with this? Well it's not so much about figuring out how to do it, it's more actually about Just experimenting. Just having fun with it. Just not getting caught up in the mess. Not getting caught up in the thought loops. The things that your mind will make you believe is true, which are not actually true. And I know if you're listening and you're like, what is this guy on about? Good. Because half the time I don't know what I'm talking about. The other half of the time, I think I know what I'm talking about. Which one is more dangerous? I'll let you decide that one. But my point being in today's episode is to really show you something that I'm experimenting with in my life. And that is when we drop our need for certainty, our need for safety, and we are just present because we have everything available to us right now, anything we could ever need. You've probably heard that before. But for us to really lean into that, we have to let go. of these things that we cling to. And that is the work, that is the hardest thing you'll ever do. But I invite you to start trying. And let me know how you go, because, I mean this is a live experiment for me. ⁓ There is this song I've never been Never been worse, but I've never been better. And I really love it because it shows the dualistic nature of what life and the experience of life really is, depending on where you're looking. So if you have found value in today's episode, I invite you to share it with one person. That's all. That's how we grow. And do that for me. And look, if you would like some help on this journey, I'd love to... help you out. So reach out, connect with me on my socials. You'll find me at the Sean Tucker on Instagram, on Facebook and just send me a message. Keen to get to know who you are and also maybe share some wisdom. I don't know. Yeah, appreciate you for tuning in today and I look forward to seeing you in tomorrow's episode.