Latest / The Unsexy Businessmen / Our Top 5 Energy Drinks Ranked: Monster, Ghost, and More
Transcript
- Alex: The Unsexy Podcast, where we talk about the unsexy side of everything. Today we are doing our top five grab and go energy drinks, and I'm going to immediately recuse myself because I don't drink energy drinks. Just kidding. I still have an opinion because that's what's really great about the world. Doesn't matter if you use these things on a regular basis, you can still review and have opinions on whatever it is that you want. Aaron: Yeah. Yes. Alex: So ⁓ for anyone who listened to the top five protein one that we did, just setting some parameters here. These are grab and go. So, for example, if you have like a C4 powder that you really like, which is the only energy drink that I really consume, that doesn't count. It has to be something that you can grab and go with, essentially. Get it at a gas station, you name it. ⁓ so we're gonna do this the same way. five to one, so worst to best. I already know I think I heard Aaron. Aaron: Got a gas station. Yeah. Yeah. Alex: Saying some of the ones that he was gonna have, and so this is gonna suck again for me. These are ones that I have liked on occasion. ⁓ but I'm gonna start off with one that's gonna piss people off. Mountain Dew Code Red. You know what? It's got a lot of caffeine in it. I like the way it tastes. ⁓ and and that that's like, yeah, I know everyone's gonna be like, well, that has like so much sugar in it, bro. Aaron: Yeah. Alex: What do all of these energy drinks have in the none of these are great for you. Aaron: We didn't s But n but we didn't say best non sugar energy drinks, so it's I think it's totally Alex: Yeah, right. So ⁓ that's my number five, Mountain Dew code red. Aaron: Code red. Dude, I haven't had code red in in a very, very, very long time. It just reminds me of summer days in high school, ⁓ going to Folsom and jumping off a rock that was called Big Tit. I didn't make the name, but that's what it was called. And so it was a giant like cliff that you jump off of into the ⁓ into the river. ⁓ it just reminds me of that. ⁓ gaming, no, ⁓ game fuel reminds me of gaming. ⁓ Alex: Whatever we would game at Ryan's house, ⁓ it was I would always have code red. I'd have a lot of code red. Aaron: Yeah, you want to know what? Yeah, I take yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, lots of code red. my number five is only number five because you can only get it now if you go to Europe. ⁓ thanks a lot, Monster. And it's so so much so that I had to print out a picture of it. It's this one. Ultra Gold Monster is one of the great dude, this would have been in like my probably my top three if it wasn't for that. ⁓ it's like a pineapple flavor. Yeah, I Alex: really well cut out for anyone who's not who's not looking. Aaron printed it out, cut out the can in case you want to go buy it. Aaron: I did a I tr I wanted to make it as and I wish it was this big when I'd get it. This is like like a a half gallon Alex: That'd be like th be like thirty ounces. Aaron: But it was so good. It was like the perfect summer energy drink. Cause like I said, it had like a pineapple, hints of pineapple, and was very refreshing. And I loved it. I haven't seen it in years in the United States. I think it got discontinued in the United States, but I was in Paris this past Christmas, just walked into one of their convenience stores. Lo and behold, it was just sitting there. And no one was freaking out about this. I freaked out about it. I sent it to a picture to my friend. I sent a picture of me drinking it to my friend Wes. He started freaking out because we both love this one. And ⁓ yes, so that is my number five. It is delicious. And if through ⁓ and if you know, you know. That's all I'm gonna say about that one. Yes. Alex: Brother Ryan coming through in the nick of time allowed me to change my top five. I'm removing the one that I just had and I put it in the one that I love from 2008 to 2010. Red line, red line from that it has since been discontinued after being purchased by the months. I'm sure everyone's just like, okay, awesome. So you get two of the three first options that you guys have don't exist in the United States. Aaron: Did he remember it? Alex: Hey, it's our list. ⁓ and this is how it's going to be. So, red line. I used to drink these things before shows that I would play, and I thought that it gave me the power of the gods. So it's a very nostalgic drink for me. It had this weird mouthfeel to it. It was a little bit thicker than water. I know how gross that sounds. Not like super not super thick, disgusting, just like a little, just a little ⁓ it tasted great and man did it give you a like it's one of those few things 'cause I was drinking a lot of caffeine back then where it's three hundred eight ounce serving can contain three hundred milligrams of caffeine. So it was it would get you going and I'll tell you what, we won a battle of the bands at Road Roadshire Shire Road Shire Road Club with me on this. ⁓ so didn't take cocaine, just a red line energy. Really? Aaron: Dude, you could buy it. You could yeah, you it's H E B H E B. I think that's a Texas. Is that Texas H E B Heb? this one is ⁓ energy, it's the Rush Triple Berry. So I don't know which flavor you liked, but great news, Alex. You don't have to go to Europe to buy this one. Alex: Go buy it everybody. That's crazy. Aaron: Maybe the maybe they ⁓ maybe it's like a new formula or something 'cause if it's like the Jack three D pre workout. Yeah. Yeah. Alex: Better have the mouthfeel. That gross, gross, delicious mouthfeel. Aaron: ⁓ so my number four is one that's somewhat n ⁓ recent. ⁓ ca there's so many. I like so this is actually really hard. This also had to do with yes. Alex: Sorry, I just really quick here, I'm sorry. They cut the amount of caffeine in it in half. ⁓ that's why that's why it's solid. Alright, sorry, back sorry. Nope, wouldn't have wouldn't have been energized enough. Alright, sorry. Aaron: Mm. You you wouldn't have won you wouldn't have won Battle of Bands, wouldn't have won. ⁓ no, ⁓ a lot of these decisions for this had to do with ones that I actually had in my refrigerator. and so this is a new one. It is Monster ⁓ Lando Norris. Now, I'm not a big F1 guy, so when I saw that it was called Lando, I didn't read the last part of it. I thought it was a Lando Calycian ⁓ reference. It is because I was like, ⁓ Lando, it's like a Star Wars one. ⁓ cool. But this one's awesome because it's like ⁓ Almost like a melon flavor. ⁓ damn it. I forgot to tell you. Actually, I can hear you fine. ⁓ yeah, it's it's Lando Norris. It's really good. I don't drink this one all the time, but if I'm like traveling and I see it, if I'm doing like a road trip but I'm stopping at the gas station, I usually just grab it because it's good, you know, pick it up. Very refreshing. It's nice, kind of almost similar, like for refreshingness as the ⁓ that pineapple one that was number five that you can only buy in Europe. But ⁓ yeah, great. Great. Great flavor. Good job, Lando Norris. It's sir. I'm sure you had a giant ⁓ giant reason why it tastes good. Alex: I I think the next what's funny is because I travel with you and a lot of times you go to convenience stores to like pick up these things, I'm now a little bit more confident we're only gonna have one crossover. And I think that it's this one, but it might not be the right flavor. Ghost Energy Blue Sour Patch. Aaron: Mm-hmm. Good. Great. Yeah, I don't have that one. Alex: D but do you have a sour patch one? No? ⁓ okay. All right. Well then I think we're gonna have completely different lists. This one this one ⁓ this is just all for the nostalgia taste. And even the one that I do next is essentially a very similar flavor profile. You sour anything, I'll give it a try. And usually they hit pretty good on on the flavor profiles for those. So this one's really good. I prefer the blue sour patch over the red sour patch that they have. And I can't remember the last time that I had this, probably two, three years ago. Aaron: Yeah. Alex: Would have been probably longer than that. Or when did it come out? So yes, Coast Brand. So this maybe it was in like the last eighteen months. Honestly don't remember. So ⁓ Aaron: You say it's the ghost brand, correct? Yeah. Yeah. That it's funny because that one used to be one of my favorites and I drank it so often that I got like sick of it. So I have a refrigerator. ⁓ next time you come over, Alex, I got a refrigerator, but they're all the the red raspberry ones, ⁓ Sour Patch. But I'll throw it in every once in a while. Every once in a while, like I'll get a hankring for it and I will drink it. So I agree. Those are really good. And it's like spot on with the flavor of like Sour Patch. Yeah. Now it's really good. ⁓ Alex: Full of them. The flavor. So it's also like good if like you have like an addiction to Sour Patch Kids. It's it's a I would say a healthier alternative to crushing an entire bag of Sour Patch Kids. Aaron: Yes, yes. Especially there's zero sugar in it. ⁓ my next one is one of the OGs. the only reason it's third instead of second is just because the one that's second I have currently like drinking more. So this is a as we all know with like ⁓ energy drinks, energy drink connoisseurs or sawmaliers, as I like to call us, ⁓ we kind of just go through ebbs and flows of what's coming out. ⁓ so my number two is part of that Ebbs and Flows, but my number three is the tried and true white monster. White monster. It's one of the it's ⁓ the flake. It's called ⁓ energy. ⁓ zero ultra. It's called, I don't know. It's literally called Monster Energy. ⁓ I guess it's the monster energy. Zero Ultra. I don't I don't I've never known everyone just calls it the white monster. ⁓ come on. Wow, it's Alex: What's the flavor? Is it just called white? ⁓ okay. All right. ⁓ no, that's fine. If it's just called Zero Ultra. No, yeah. Aaron: Gotta get with the lingo. ⁓ I think it's because the can's white. Alex: I think you're right. I think like we're either gonna call this the white monster or the gray logo monster. Aaron: We haven't there's the debate the debate hasn't been settled, but there's a good there's a good argument for this called the white monster because the can's white. Also, the liquid inside is is kind of whitish. So maybe that's white. No one knows. No one knows. ⁓ it's just a giant debate online. ⁓ though this one is more like a this has a flavor of like ⁓ what's that called? ⁓ my god. Sir Squirt. So it's like a squirt like citrus flavor. ⁓ I never really get sick of it. but I the nice thing about these ones too is you can buy them like Costco or Sam's Club. You got like the giant pack ⁓ where it's it ends up being relatively inexpensive. That's the thing that sucks about a lot of these is at gas stations they're like, you know, three or four bucks for a fucking energy drink. So it's a lot of that goes into that. But this is this is great. This is great. In a pinch, it's always available almost everywhere. So that's what I like about it too. Some of these flavors, you can't find them, especially the next one, you definitely can't find easily. ⁓ but yeah, it's one of the great. I might, I might get roasted that wasn't number one, but this is my list, so go fuck yourself. Alex: Yeah, so but the the one that I have on here next is one that I have had before, but I just recently had it on Sunday morning because we got it at the Mr. Olympia concert. The Mr. Olympia event. ⁓ Aaron: Compet ⁓ I was gonna say competition. Convention. That's what it is. Convention. Alex: Mr. Yeah, convention. The Mr. Olympia Convention. This ⁓ and I made sure I got this very specific one because they were handing these out like hotcakes. It's the rain sour gummy worm. ⁓ once again, I'm a taste guy. Taste is fantastic. Pretty spot on with what I was looking for in terms of sour gummy worm. I am not that hard to please when it comes to energy drink. It's does this taste good? Does it taste like chemicals? They all taste like chemicals, they all taste very, very chemically. So it's the which ones taste. Taste the least manufactured. And these ones seem to be like, for example, I don't think either of us are gonna have this on our list, so I'll just poo-poo on it right now. Like Red Bull has like this really fake flavor to me, and I've never I've never got the appeal. The only reason they're still in business is because Red Bull vodkas and because of their extreme sports ⁓ partnerships and relationships. Right. ⁓ but Aaron: Mm mm. I hate Red Bull. Yeah. Amazing marketing. Yes. Yeah. Alex: So rain, sour gummy worm, I'm a little bit happy on them right now because I just got one for free and it was definitely at least based on conversations with everyone else that got the different drinks there. I think there was like a Celsius, f Monty was having like a grape one that he said that he didn't like. He's like, I don't think I like grape. I was like racist. ⁓ so like the entire the the entire Aaron: Celsius dog shit. Alex: plethora of options that we had. It was the the rain, I think is like the best one. So I was really happy that I did not end up drinking one of the crappy ones. Aaron: Well, it's funny 'cause Josh got the white ⁓ gummy bear one and he hated it. But I actually like the white gummy bear one. So he's like, I'm it's like this is disgusting. I tastes like tastes like a white gummy bear. So I just I drank it for him. I was ⁓ you know, I took one for the team. Alex: How many how many ⁓ energy drinks do you do in a day these days? Aaron: ⁓ usually one. ⁓ if I'm on vacation, ⁓ seven to eight. No I'm just showing. And then straight to the hospital. Alex: And that's like the three hundred three hundred milligrams of caffeine essentially. Like I feel like most of these are around there. Aaron: Yeah. ⁓ honestly the one so my number one I think is like ⁓ a hundred and forty? Yeah, it's not a not a crazy not a crazy amount. Yeah. ⁓ I just want it real quick, who still drinks Red Bull? Like is that like are ha besides hackers? Like who's still drinking Red Bull? I don't know anybody. Alex: ⁓ Mountain Dew, code red? I didn't I didn't know we had we did have crossover. ⁓ I think it's I think it's literally like the what I j it's Red Bull vodka. Like it's it's like a p it's a party thing that's gonna keep you up for forever, so don't do it. Aaron: It's it's the the ⁓ yeah, yeah. Yes. But d is can you not mix vodka with anything else that's delicious? Alex: That might be the last time I had Red Bull was my bachelor party. Aaron: God, they're so gross. I mean, the problem is if you're traveling internationally, that's only the only good thing about Red Bull is they're everywhere. So if you need an energy drink, you can grab it. But every time that happens and I need to grab one, and I'm just like, ugh, this is so gross. Especially there's zero sugar. ⁓ my God, it's so bad. It's the worst. But you can sponsor us if you want to. ⁓ all right. So number two for me is Gorilla Mind Cherry Vanilla. Yeah, black cherry vanilla. Alex: Everywhere. Yeah. What have I done to myself? Yeah. ⁓ Aaron: This thing is Alex: Well it's funny because I thought that was rain for a second. I was like, hey, that's the one I just did. Talk about talk about similar ⁓ colors and stuff. Aaron: I just tell you can't do that one anymore. The flavor profile on this is so good. It just tastes like it's like a creamy black cherry. And so it's it's really, really, really good. I haven't got sick of these. I don't I don't drink them all the time. They're hard to find. I mean, you can get them at GNC, so I guess. And GNC will run sales every once in a while where you can get like ⁓ a 12 pack. It's like buy one, get one half off. And so every once in a while just like restock up. So that's the only knock on this, is I've I've never seen I'm trying to think of. I can't think of a time where I went to a gas station where gorilla mine was there. ⁓ and so that's like my only knock is is I guess that's it's it's rare. It's rare that you could find them at a gas station. I'm sure people are like, ⁓ they're all over my gas. Great. Well, you're lucky. I don't see them in my gas stations. Alex: What's like the average cost per can? I just don't know that. For like most stuff. Aaron: if if you're buying these ⁓ at a gas station, probably like three bucks. Alex: And then like when you get the white monsters at Costco, what are those? Like Aaron: You could probably get them around dude. That's that's gone up. It's probably a little over two bucks up here. Where you could where you could get and this is what this is why my number one's number one as well. ⁓ but used to be able to get them where you could get them as like a buck fifty when you bought the the the the 24 pack. ⁓ not anymore. ⁓ unless they go on sale or something. But when I've seen them, they're still they're over two dollars a can. ⁓ so yeah, I can get it can get kind of expensive. But if you haven't tried Gorilla Mine, super smooth. Alex: Two bucks a can. Aaron: Not chemically, chemic chemically whatever, doesn't have that weird chemical flavor as bad. and it's really good. And I'm gonna just say this before I say it to any of them. You know what I love doing? ⁓ this was like a thing on I think on TikTok or Instagram or whatever, but I mix all of these ones that I all the all these energy drinks, I mix them with to turn these into protein drinks, with non-fat Greek yogurt. I mix it up with some ice. Alex: Tasting. Yeah. Aaron: And it just turns all of these into creamy versions of whatever it is. And so I've done it with like especially like orange flavored ones. It just tastes like an orange creamsicle. There's ⁓ my God. I'm gonna do it after this podcast. They're so good. It's and I'm gonna do it with ⁓ cherry vanilla. I love it. It's so good. Try it out. You can think it sounds crazy, but it's just like this smoothie energy smoothie, but it has a ton of protein in it. So try it out. Alex: Hmm. Yeah. Podcast hasn't even gone live yet, and it's inspiring people. Look at that. Look at that. Aaron's been inspired. My ⁓ my number one, and I'll tell you what, I get this at least once a year, maybe multiple times a year. This is my go-to travel beverage. Aaron: Yeah. Alex: Monster juice mango loco. I get that. That is my go-to. I it's the can is so recognizable. I know that I like the flavor. It stands out from all the other cans, so it's really easy for me to find. I honestly don't the you they usually will have sales where it'll be like six six for like ten bucks. Like I don't even know what it is, but it's always like, okay, cool. I'll I'll drink one of these a day. Fantastic. Have energy for all of our activities. Flavor's great. Aaron: ⁓ Is that the purple one? Alex: Tastes like mango. A lot of the times it's when we're in Hawaii is when I get this, so I also feel like that tropical vibe. Like, ⁓ I got mango, even though I don't think mangoes are native to Hawaii. But anyways. ⁓ so that's like my my favorite drink. It's the one that I have the most consistently. No hands down, my favorite of all of these. Aaron: Mm-hmm. Good one knows. Yes. My number one is one that I literally almost ⁓ I I literally almost I don't think that works. ⁓ I pretty much have this every single morning when I wake up. And and it's because it's healthy. It's made from orange juice, even though it says not made from juice. It is the Rockstar Recovery Orange. ⁓ it's what's it called? Orange Aid. I've never actually read it. I just call it the Orange Rockstar. It is Alex: Yeah. Is it 'cause it's in in an orange can? Aaron: I I think it's because it's in an orange can. No again, no one knows. this one's ⁓ how much I didn't look to see how much caffeine it has, but I think this one is actually actually lower. ⁓ you want to know why? Take it back. It does contain juice. 3%. Good luck finding out in any other energy drinks, you silly goose. I don't remember. I think it's like 140. I mean, you could probably figure it out if you're typing that in right now. But I don't think it's super high with caffeine. The main reason, but but first of all, it just it's not carbonated. It's really smooth. I love the flavor of it. And the best, best part of it, I can find these on sale at my grocery store for a dollar or less. Like I think the cheapest was like 95 cents a can. And so just price-wise, you can't beat this. What is it? How many ounces in here? 24? I was way out. Way up. 16. This is what again, what pissed me up about Red Bulls. They they give you the little one that's like what eight? Eight ounces and it costs three times as much as this. look, we're so cool. We can they give you wings. Alex: Eight ounces, yeah. Hey, we're Red Bull girls. Drink it 'cause we're Red Bull girls. But you're at BYU so you can't do anything anyways. You'll get caught, we'll tell on you. I just wanna just a really quick ⁓ sixteen percent juice in my Mango Loco. So how dare you besmirch how dare you just besmirch all all of the caffeine drinks when Mango Loco is u up there. Aaron: Yeah. Mm. ⁓ Okay, well Did you see, did you see how much ⁓ caffeine was in this one? A lot of these will just tell you on the side. This one isn't like an easy find for caffeine. There's no way of ever knowing. But I think it's lower than than most of them. ⁓ I found it. 160. So typically a lot of these are gonna be around 200 or 200 to 300. ⁓ so 160, not not too shabby. But again, just the the value of it is what makes it great. First of all, I just love the taste. And then the value is is fantastic. So that's why this is my go-to. This is my coffee in the morning. A nice rock star. I d I've never gotten sick of it. I wake up every morning and this is what I look forward to drinking every morning. And I'm sure we'll get comments like it's gonna kill you. Like, shut the hell up. I like it. It ⁓ gives me energy and I don't care what anyone says about that. Alex: Yeah, and just a reminder to those people who are gonna be like, ⁓ this thing is gonna kill you. Like, do you want us to comb over your entire life and find all the things that are likely going to kill you? Like, come on, get get out, get out of here with that. Yeah, yeah. The higher likelihood of death driving than drinking one of these energy drinks. And then of course, right w before this comes out, there's gonna be like some kid died from having a four loco or like whatever dangerous drinks are out right now. Aaron: Right. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Do you drive a car by chance? Yeah. Yes. Well the the thing is like where the or like that Panera one we were talking about, where they had like the Pan like the charged Panera ⁓ lemonade where it had ⁓ what was it three hundred or four hundred grams of of ⁓ caffeine in it? People were dying ⁓ because they didn't know that it was that much, and so they'd drink one or two of them and then be out. So this is, you know, yeah. Yeah, just yeah, I don't know why I brought that up. Why were we talking about that? ⁓ because like the four lo Yeah, there's stuff that's way worse. Yeah. I also don't care. Alex: ⁓ 'cause people are gonna judge us. Aaron: Like, shut the hell up. How about you tell us what your favorite energy drink is instead of bitching about ⁓ that it's yeah, n at no point do we claim this is good for you. At no point. And it I would never claim that energy drinks are good for you. But I this is what I like. I get my energy from it. And ⁓ actually I don't get my energy, whatever. It doesn't matter. I like it. And I drink it, so shut the hell up. Alex: What's and also like it's kind of like the Celsius drink where people didn't realize that Celsius had caffeine in it. They thought it was just like a wellness drink. And then they're all surprised like read the can. Like you all we all just need to take personal accountability for all of the decisions that we make instead of blaming other people. Because now we have to have all of these nutrition labels, all of these warning labels, because people can't just be responsible for their actions. And on that note. Aaron: Yeah. One more thing. If monster energy, you're listening, please bring it back. Please bring back Ultra Gold. Please, please bring it back. Let's start a campaign where they bring back Ultra Gold. Alex: And if you're listening, we'd love for you to sponsor the podcast because ⁓ my I think both of us have our favorites, our favorite drinks were both monster energy drinks. So yeah, and and I'll I if you want me to talk crap on Red Bull or any other drinks, I'm more than happy to do that. For money, I'll do anything. Well, everybody, you gotta go be unsexy, and we will chat with you all next week. Aaron: Yeah, and sponsor the podcast, please. They are very, very delicious. No problem. ⁓ no problem at all. You could do anything with money.