Latest / High n' Dry Podcast / Episode 44. Hard Truths Found in a Vampire's Diary & Richard O'Connell vs. The Thing (Feat. Loki DeWitt, Author)

Transcript

Episode 44. Hard Truths Found in a Vampire's Diary & Richard O'Connell vs. The Thing (Feat. Loki DeWitt, Author) · High n' Dry Podcast

0:15
SPEAKER_00: I didn't know you needed a fucking gaming PC to be on this goddamn show.
0:19
SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
0:20
SPEAKER_01: We gotta find a different way.
0:22
SPEAKER_01: We gotta find a different way to handle video.
0:24
SPEAKER_03: My my clearance Chromebook don't quite cut it.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: I feel you there.
0:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm on a 2010 Mac Disctop desktop.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: If you guys are good to go, I'm good to go.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm good to go.
0:39
SPEAKER_01: I'm good.
0:41
SPEAKER_01: Fight first.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: Fight first.
0:43
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
0:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fight first.
0:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's do it.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let's see what happens.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Uh we tried it the once, and I'm I'm curious what happens this time.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: So all right, so hey everyone out there, welcome to High and Dry Podcast, the only podcast we do all round stunt.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: Joining me as always, James Crosslin.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: James, what's going on?
1:02
SPEAKER_01: Uh not much.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: I'm having a good week.
1:04
SPEAKER_01: My mood has improved considerably.
1:06
SPEAKER_01: Uh happy to hear that.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: For all of those out there who know, who have listened to the podcast, uh, I hate talking to people for the most part.
1:14
SPEAKER_01: But uh but I got to talk to some very interesting people this week uh at some pretty cool companies around the world, so I'm excited.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: All right, all right.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: Um and uh well I'm happy to hear that.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to hear that.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: I uh myself finally I have 36 pages left of editing done before I could finally put this book I've been working on to fucking bed.
1:34
SPEAKER_01: It's Frank, it's a remake of Frank Herbert's dune, right?
1:37
SPEAKER_01: You just wrote added lore.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: I just yeah, pretty much.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I a lot of people fucked who weren't supposed to.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I was going for.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, a lot of sandworm rape, like the sandworms being raped.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so joining us this week uh for the first time, um actually uh so Loki, I don't think I caught your last name.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: How do you want to you just want to go like share?
2:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm Loki Aventsguard, I'm burdened of glorious purpose.
2:09
SPEAKER_03: Uh the last name, the last name is DeWitt.
2:14
SPEAKER_03: Like all DeWitt.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so joining us.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: Well, joining us this week, first time uh to the show, writer, author, uh Loki DeWitt.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: His name is actually Loki, and he was born well before the whole Marvel thing kicked off.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: So, Loki, what's going on, man?
2:30
SPEAKER_00: How are you doing?
2:30
SPEAKER_03: Oh, doing great.
2:32
SPEAKER_03: Glad to finally be on the show after several near misses.
2:36
SPEAKER_03: Um things are things are going pretty well, actually.
2:39
SPEAKER_03: Got the day off work uh ready to get into proceedings.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah.
2:47
SPEAKER_00: Well, we're happy to have you here.
2:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, happy to have you here.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, so um, for those of you who Well worth the wait.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well worth the word.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: So for those of you who are just joining us first time, and for uh Loki, in case you haven't heard any of these episodes, um, how we do it is well, actually we're switching it up this time.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: But we're gonna start today's episode off with a fist fight between your favorite nerd shit.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: It's a three-round method guaranteed to get you results, and then it's going to devolve into a philosophical discussion.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: This is evolve, evolve into a philosophical discussion, probably.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: As those things often do.
3:22
SPEAKER_01: No, they don't.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: But before we do any of that, what sets us apart, what makes us so great, is that while we're doing all that, we're a little drunk and we're a little high.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: So, James, what are you smoking this week?
3:34
SPEAKER_01: Uh, this week I've got a wonderful little flavor called lemon velvet.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: It's uh I think it's gonna be nice and smooth.
3:41
SPEAKER_01: It's got a little kariophylline in it, which means it's gonna be peppery.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: Uh, I think it tastes very it tastes like flour a lot.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: It's a live resin, so I'm pretty excited.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: Very nice.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: And uh Loki, uh what are you drinking?
3:51
SPEAKER_03: I have the uh three olives root beer flavored vodka that I got off the clearance rack.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna lie, that sounds like it belongs in a clearance rack.
4:02
SPEAKER_01: What do I love more than olives and root beer?
4:05
SPEAKER_03: Well, to be fair, it doesn't taste a lot like root beer.
4:08
SPEAKER_03: The only problem is it doesn't mix with anything but root beer.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: Okay, all right.
4:15
SPEAKER_00: Well, cool.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: Well, good luck to you.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: I'll be joining you with New Amsterdam Pink Whitney because I gotta finish off this bottle.
4:22
SPEAKER_01: And then you're gonna buy another one anyway.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm just I'm getting back into a whiskey case.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: Lots more shows.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm jumping into the whiskey next.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: Okay, all right.
4:35
SPEAKER_00: So this first one, first toast, first hit.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: This one goes out to all those timeless sandworms out there.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: Cher, Carl Urban, and our newest guest, Loki do it.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: Cheers.
4:46
SPEAKER_02: Cheers.
4:50
SPEAKER_01: Oh, God.
4:51
SPEAKER_01: God, I'm so amped for when it comes out and we get to do a Dune fight.
4:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:55
SPEAKER_01: Fight with the Dune character.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: That's gonna be that's gonna be pretty sweet.
5:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it tastes really good.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be Dunkin' Idaho for sure.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, you gotta do uh what's his name?
5:06
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: Um who's playing him?
5:08
SPEAKER_00: Uh Aquaman, Abs.
5:10
SPEAKER_00: Oh, is he?
5:10
SPEAKER_01: Jason Momoa's playing Dunkin' Idaho.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: Fuck yeah.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: Water Thor?
5:14
SPEAKER_00: No, I mean that would be pretty cool.
5:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Water Thor.
5:17
SPEAKER_01: Water Thor is gonna be fucking Duncan Idaho.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be badass.
5:21
SPEAKER_01: Dunkin' Idaho.
5:22
SPEAKER_01: Duncan Idaho made a woman come because he climbed a ladder so effectively.
5:27
SPEAKER_01: Permission to come aboard.
5:33
SPEAKER_02: Oh shit.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: Whoa! Actually, we don't need you anymore.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: All right, so somebody swabbed the deck.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: Oh all right, so line up the second one.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: It's time for round two.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: This one goes out to our newest listeners in Murphreesboro, Illinois.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: Hey, Murphy'sboro, what up?
5:58
SPEAKER_00: Shout out to Mtown.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: Is that actually a thing?
6:04
SPEAKER_00: No.
6:06
SPEAKER_02: It is now.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: You heard it here.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go to Murfreesboro one day and there's uh M Town buildboard.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: Think about what it about what it was like living in our small town.
6:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
6:22
SPEAKER_01: Uh they had all kinds of dumb names for our town.
6:24
SPEAKER_01: They're like, you don't know our dumb name?
6:27
SPEAKER_01: No, I don't know your dumb name.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: Dumb fucking name.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: Uh all right, so that brings us into the third toast, third hit.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: This one is Guests Toast.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: Loki, you get to name it.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: What's it to?
6:40
SPEAKER_03: Well, um first one, uh first of many times I get to do this, I hope, goes out to uh you guys for having me on this podcast, all the people listening to our bullshit.
6:55
SPEAKER_03: Um and and to uh everybody joining me in the true horrors of horror writing, that is editing.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: Here's to that.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: Appreciate you.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm not I'm not your typical writer, but I am a programmer, and editing is the worst.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: Close enough, man.
7:18
SPEAKER_00: Uh I just want to write garbage once.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: Turns out it's great, and then make a buttload of posts.
7:24
SPEAKER_03: Wouldn't that be nice?
7:25
SPEAKER_03: That that would make you Michael Bay.
7:27
SPEAKER_03: Congratulations.
7:30
SPEAKER_01: Just write some garbage and people buy it.
7:32
SPEAKER_01: Dude, I gotta start, I gotta start editing my big extension for the Twitch marketplace.
7:37
SPEAKER_01: And I'm fucking loathing it.
7:38
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to do it.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: I've been running from it so hard.
7:41
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's fucking terrible.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: But just even in the writing aspect of it, there's a whole editing process of like, wait a minute, I said the word door like four sentences ago.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: I gotta come up with another word for door.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: Man, that's that's where I'm at.
7:55
SPEAKER_03: That's where I'm at.
7:56
SPEAKER_03: Like you think you're brilliant while you're writing it, and then you go back and you're like, oh god, what did I do?
8:00
SPEAKER_01: This is wall hole cover.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: He strode through the wall hole cover.
8:09
SPEAKER_01: Well, well, he kicked down the the false wall with a handle.
8:15
SPEAKER_03: You could always go with what my buddy says and go with Dorner.
8:19
SPEAKER_03: Dorner?
8:20
SPEAKER_03: Door and corner.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: Whatever it takes.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's so tiring.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: All right.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: Well, so that being said, we're a little drunk, we're a little high.
8:29
SPEAKER_00: At least it's working its way there.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: Pink Whitney's heading towards my brain right now.
8:33
SPEAKER_01: What you better not do, I swear to God, if I read your book and you call a door a portal, I will fucking kick you in the nuts because I've read that way too many times.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: Don't do it.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: I feel like if you're talking about your characters walking through doors that much, you you need to skip the door.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: Skip the door.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: He's there now.
8:54
SPEAKER_01: This isn't a movie.
8:55
SPEAKER_01: We know they're in the room.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: Writing tips.
9:01
SPEAKER_00: Follow High and Dry podcast for more writing tips.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna read your person character go through a door 150 fucking times.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: Alright, so it's time to get down into it.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: It's time for our first fight.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: We here on High and Dry, we have a patented method for determining which of your favorite characters is gonna kill the other one.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, how we do this is a three-round method.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: Round one, the characters enter into a legally distinct fight club bar where they walk into the basement, it's a blank room, Brad Pitt looks on, a legally distinct Brad Pitt, so most like Val Kilmer.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: And they then beat each other to death.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: Um and then round two, we zoom out into a city view where these characters now have 24 hours to kill the other one.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: They have access to everything that makes them them, um, whether it's tactics or just going out and buying a shotgun.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: And then round three is the same thing as round two, except this time they get to bring a friend.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: So moving into round one, our fighters today, fucking Brendan Fraser, his name is this character O'Connell, Richard O'Connell.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: There's Colum O'Connell.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: So O'Connell of the Mummy versus John of the Mummy O'Connell's Mummy O'Connell.
10:16
SPEAKER_00: Versus John Carpenter's of the Carpenters, the thing.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: All right, so we've just entered into round one.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: Cher and Carl Urban have ridden in in a timeless sandworm.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: They've taken their seats.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: Um Val Kilmer dressed as Tyler Durden from Brad Fight Love.
10:36
SPEAKER_01: This universe is getting way too it's getting it's expanding too quickly.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: Dude, I would just love when he so you just have Val Kilmer who after 94 turned into a pumpkin.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for a while there.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: I get it.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: You know, I get it.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:53
SPEAKER_00: And he's uh, you know, he's getting ready, these fighters ready.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: So O'Connell versus the thing.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: They've entered the ring.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: The high and dry podcast crew has been seated, featuring today Loki DeWitt.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: Guests first, what happens in round one, Loki?
11:08
SPEAKER_00: What goes down?
11:09
SPEAKER_00: Take us there.
11:12
SPEAKER_03: Well, Val Kilmer announces the combatants very, very slowly.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: And problems with that these days.
11:22
SPEAKER_03: Kind of kind of slurry.
11:24
SPEAKER_03: Oh man.
11:27
SPEAKER_01: Oh boy.
11:29
SPEAKER_03: It is what it is.
11:31
SPEAKER_03: We love you, Val.
11:32
SPEAKER_03: If you ever hear this.
11:35
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, we still love on the show.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:38
SPEAKER_01: Not like those fucking Scars guards.
11:39
SPEAKER_01: They give you shit.
11:43
SPEAKER_03: Let's see here.
11:45
SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean, the is this powers or no powers?
11:50
SPEAKER_00: So it's it's anything that's intrinsic to them.
11:53
SPEAKER_00: It's so I mean the thing I guess he would need some sort.
11:57
SPEAKER_00: I mean, he'd probably just latch immediately onto O'Connell.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: He's doing goop right now.
12:02
SPEAKER_01: So the thing is goop and O'Connell just has his fist.
12:09
SPEAKER_01: Val Kilmer just pours the goop into one side of the ring.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: And Frazier's like, what the fuck is going on?
12:17
SPEAKER_03: Fight the goop.
12:18
SPEAKER_03: This is where Doom Patrol came from, kid.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: Val Kilmer in fucking tight jeans with no shirt on.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: And Brad Pitt's haircut.
12:31
SPEAKER_01: It's like you're clearly trying to be Brad Pitt, but this is not demanding that Brendan Fraser fight goop.
12:39
SPEAKER_03: So you fight the goop.
12:42
SPEAKER_03: Brendan Fraser versus the goop.
12:44
SPEAKER_03: No shape shifting powers allowed.
12:47
SPEAKER_03: Um well, I mean, like, yeah, but uh well what do you think happens?
12:52
SPEAKER_03: Take it there.
12:54
SPEAKER_03: I'm like I'm liking this goop idea of It's how it is.
13:00
SPEAKER_03: That's what it is.
13:02
SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean, first off, the fighters enter through a portal on either side of the room.
13:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:11
SPEAKER_03: That was the one.
13:13
SPEAKER_01: Not a door.
13:14
SPEAKER_01: Portal.
13:15
SPEAKER_00: Well, the first one enters through the door, the second one has to enter through a portal.
13:22
SPEAKER_03: The wall, the wall open mob.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
13:31
SPEAKER_03: So if it's if it's Richard Frazier versus versus goop, O'Connell versus goop, I mean, I'm just picturing the guy from the mummy just pummeling a bowl of jello mercilessly.
13:45
SPEAKER_03: And this is this is kind of a one-sided fight.
13:51
SPEAKER_03: But I I eventually O'Connell's gonna tire out.
13:55
SPEAKER_03: I mean, and I guess then like goop wins by default.
13:59
SPEAKER_03: But if it has any sort of somehow exactly.
14:05
SPEAKER_03: I mean, what's what's the group gonna do?
14:07
SPEAKER_03: It's gonna kind of slither around and and not fight back.
14:10
SPEAKER_03: So either goop forfeits because it doesn't have any shape shifting powers, or or Jell-O Jello conquers O'Connell.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: Dude, I just see the I see Mick from Rocky on the group's corner.
14:27
SPEAKER_01: Come on, Goop, you're gonna have to.
14:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're gonna have to toughen up for this round.
14:32
SPEAKER_02: He's not losing.
14:32
SPEAKER_02: He's getting mad.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
14:39
SPEAKER_01: This is the craziest basement.
14:41
SPEAKER_01: So I think I think we have to set up.
14:45
SPEAKER_01: I have an idea.
14:45
SPEAKER_01: I think I know what's gonna happen.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: I think the goop attack takes over Brittany Fraser like it did the dog, and when anybody when anybody gets the goop in their body, uh they turn the thing multiplies inside them and then takes over their body.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, because at this point well, I mean at the at this point, if you have O'Connell, he has no idea what the fuck he's gonna do.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: He's gonna try to pump the he's gonna try to punch the goop.
15:09
SPEAKER_01: Or he's gonna step on it or he's gonna put it directly in his mouth.
15:13
SPEAKER_01: He's gonna be like, what is this goo and put it in his mouth because he's a fucking idiot.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: I mean, because without without Rachel, is it Rachel Rachel Wise?
15:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, without Rachel Wise, he was kind of like a he was kind of like a big puppy, you know?
15:26
SPEAKER_00: He was an idiot.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: He was he was a bur he was he was a bruiser.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: And so he's gonna bruise and then become the new thing.
15:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the thing's gonna take him over immediately.
15:37
SPEAKER_03: That's what I'm saying.
15:37
SPEAKER_03: I'm and then Val Kilmer.
15:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, if it then yeah, it becomes then Brendan Fraser as the thing versus Val Kilmer as Tyler Durden.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: Val Kilmer just banging on the portal, let it go.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: And Cher going, no.
15:56
SPEAKER_01: So the things the things like, is there anything else I could in fact?
16:02
SPEAKER_01: Is it just Val Kilmer?
16:05
SPEAKER_01: For the first time, the thing's like, uh Dog, maybe some kind of I don't know.
16:11
SPEAKER_01: He seems to have some shit going on.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: He's having a real hard time, and I don't need that negativity in my life.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: And again, uh just as like one of the hosts of High and Dry, like Val, we don't have a problem with you.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: You know, you're not a Scars Guard.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: So I have a feeling that Val's gonna have a problem with us.
16:27
SPEAKER_03: Eventually we're gonna have like Val Kilmer versus Pennywise just because of the Scarsgard thing.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have a goose, goose versus we'll have goose versus O'Connor.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: Missed opportunities.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh well.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: Well, it so um well Loki, final thoughts on the first round.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: Anything you'd like to add, or where are we standing?
16:50
SPEAKER_03: What uh I would like to add is the goop to O'Connell.
16:54
SPEAKER_03: So we have O'Connell thing.
16:57
SPEAKER_03: And and and my vote, uh considering the infectious thing, is is I've got to go with the thing.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, okay.
17:08
SPEAKER_01: I think the thing also.
17:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: Um the only thing I would add is that I think the goop immediately takes over Val Kilmer.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: You think so?
17:15
SPEAKER_00: And then Val Kilmer just infuses Brendan Fraser into himself.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: Possibly.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: It's really horrific.
17:23
SPEAKER_00: It's terrible.
17:25
SPEAKER_00: All right, yeah, sure.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: It still wins.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: So round one goes to the thing.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: Congratulations, Mr.
17:30
SPEAKER_00: the Thing.
17:31
SPEAKER_00: Moving into round two, we now these characters have now received a manila envelope underneath their apartment doors.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: How does the thing get a message?
17:43
SPEAKER_00: It's a manila envelope, and he just kind of over it.
17:48
SPEAKER_03: The things in his apartment, watching the friends' reunion.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, like this guy's goop, but I mean his species made interstellar travel.
18:03
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: Was it on like an asteroid or was it actually on like alien technology?
18:09
SPEAKER_00: Something might have sent it there.
18:10
SPEAKER_00: But as soon as he took over one of the guys, he ran into he created a subterranean tunnel like that.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: And then he started making a spaceship out of spare parts.
18:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:21
SPEAKER_00: So I mean that that indicates some high level intelligence from this true scoop.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: It's reading like a quantum physics textbook.
18:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, he wouldn't be watching the Friends reunit.
18:36
SPEAKER_03: It's coding for Twig.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: I'm so confused.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: Goop, you get the shit out of here.
18:42
SPEAKER_01: This is my turn.
18:45
SPEAKER_03: Wait, wait, well, round two.
18:47
SPEAKER_03: One of us is the thing.
18:48
SPEAKER_03: It's been exposed.
18:50
SPEAKER_03: Secret ending.
18:52
unknown: Oh shit.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: Well, so round two.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: They've received the manila envelopes.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: They got 24 hours.
18:59
SPEAKER_00: They have everything they could have.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: Um, who's gonna take it?
19:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh Loki guests first.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
19:06
SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
19:10
SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean, O'Connell would have access to the book of the dead that he can't read.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: Uh this is useless.
19:19
SPEAKER_01: That's true.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: So and that Well, when are they meeting?
19:23
SPEAKER_00: When are they meeting?
19:24
SPEAKER_00: Well, so it has to be at a time that they could both reasonably get to.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: So I imagine this is like a So this is O'Connell's time.
19:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:33
SPEAKER_01: And the this thing can just meet anywhere.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
19:37
SPEAKER_01: Alright, I was just making sure.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this was the first time he was thawed from the ice.
19:41
SPEAKER_03: Wait, so this is this is he has access to anything in his in his uh his catalog, anything that you can do.
19:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, whatever you yeah, whatever you think O'Connell could get his hands, except other people.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: Except other people.
19:54
SPEAKER_03: Except other people.
19:56
SPEAKER_03: My my first thought was initially to to go with the thing, but then I remembered something, and I don't know if this is outside of O'Connell's like wheelhouse, but if he got a hold of like a bag of those flesh-eating beetles, the thing might have a problem on its hands.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: That's interesting.
20:20
SPEAKER_03: Of course, then the thing would assimilate the beetles, and the thing wins.
20:25
SPEAKER_03: You get one of them.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: The thing.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, you bring up a good point there.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: And there was there were scenes where O'Connell is specifically using fire against you know.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: Armies of Beetles.
20:46
SPEAKER_01: They love playing with fire on the mummy set.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: Every five seconds something was on fire.
20:51
SPEAKER_03: That's true, but I mean, like, if the if they tried to eat the thing, the thing would assimilate the beetles.
20:57
SPEAKER_03: And then you'd have a whole swarm of the thing.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: Then you know which thing is the thing, and you you shower both the beetles and the thing in fire.
21:07
SPEAKER_01: That's that's true.
21:08
SPEAKER_01: It at least shows you who the thing is.
21:10
SPEAKER_03: I mean, now that you mentioned that, I mean, I have to to change change position here and go with O'Connell because torch beats advanced alien, as crazy as that sounds.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: Hey, John Carpenter knew one thing, and that was that fire defeats advanced alien.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: Fire bad.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: Which is which is better than M Night Shyamalan, where water oops.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: You know, I've always had an idea about that movie.
21:39
SPEAKER_01: This is what I think.
21:40
SPEAKER_01: I think the aliens are actually there to help us all.
21:43
SPEAKER_01: They were like you all are fucking destroying this planet.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: We came down here.
21:48
SPEAKER_01: We're willing to we're willing to risk being on a planet that's 70% acid to us and then Mel Gibson, and then you you fucking kill us because we're trying to help you escape.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:04
SPEAKER_03: I want to watch that movie.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: There's a new enemy of the podcast.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: I would too.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, me too.
22:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would watch that.
22:12
SPEAKER_01: Um as long as Mel Gibson didn't get paid.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: As long as he's not getting paid.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: This is just his hatred flowing into alien.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: All right.
22:24
SPEAKER_00: Any other other thoughts you want to put on that?
22:26
SPEAKER_01: Here's the thing is it's really so the thing, does it count as other people if it infests other people?
22:41
SPEAKER_01: That's I was wondering that.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: That's a good click.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: And I think Yeah, and I think that for the first like he's gotta remain a bowl of jelly or get Brendan Fraser.
22:51
SPEAKER_00: Because the thing doesn't get a friend.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the thing doesn't get a friend.
22:53
SPEAKER_01: He might maybe even if he gets a starting body, I think that if he doesn't get to infest anyone else and it's just the two of them, uh the thing is fucked.
23:04
SPEAKER_03: Agreed, agreed.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then and I Yeah, I had that same sort of thought.
23:10
SPEAKER_00: Um, where like, wait a minute, wouldn't the thing he takes over be a friend?
23:15
SPEAKER_00: So I think his only option to take over something would be Brendan Fraser.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: And so the goop is inching its way towards O'Connell, who loves fire.
23:25
SPEAKER_01: He sure loves fire, he always has fire on him.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and who also has the good guy action hero theme.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:33
SPEAKER_00: And so I think that yeah, I think it would be Bowl of Goop gets lit on fire.
23:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
23:38
SPEAKER_01: That's round two.
23:39
SPEAKER_01: Even if it gets the starter dog or whatever.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: No.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: So well, I think that uh I think it would so you have 24 hours.
23:47
SPEAKER_00: I think we'd watch like hour one, two, three, four, five tick down.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, all of a sudden the thing's apartment door blows open and O'Connell just tosses a match into the goo.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: And the goo just sits there and ducks.
24:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because he doesn't get a friend.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh well, that's my thoughts.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: Uh Loki, your thoughts and a vote.
24:07
SPEAKER_03: Um, like I said, after this thought-provoking conversation, after the thing takes over Mel Gibson.
24:14
SPEAKER_03: Uh wait, no.
24:16
SPEAKER_03: No, I I got I I I I gotta go with O'Connell because I mean, like, you're absolutely right.
24:21
SPEAKER_03: I mean, does the third round even happen?
24:23
SPEAKER_03: The thing doesn't have any friends.
24:25
SPEAKER_03: Who does he call?
24:26
SPEAKER_03: Who does he call for O'Connell in a revolution?
24:29
SPEAKER_03: We'll see.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: We'll see.
24:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:33
SPEAKER_00: He gets fucking the one guy that everyone hates.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: Um, no.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: We'll we'll get there.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we'll get there.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: We'll get there.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: So your vote's in O'Connell then?
24:41
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: All right, James.
24:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, O'Connell also.
24:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, me O'Connell.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: Fire.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I vote for fire in the round two.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: Fire's the real winner here.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
24:52
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: Remember that, kids.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: Whenever you have a report, just burn it down.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: Fire's the solution.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: We don't need no water, let the motherfucker.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: Now, Richard O'Connell, 1927.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: It was originally Abraham Lincoln.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: No, that was Sherman.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was Sherman.
25:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, or wait, we got it.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: We got a guy from Arkansas.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that's good.
25:17
SPEAKER_03: Nope, nope.
25:17
SPEAKER_03: I'm from Missouri originally.
25:19
SPEAKER_03: We were smart enough to stay out of the damn war, so we're good.
25:23
unknown: Okay, cool.
25:24
SPEAKER_03: No thanks.
25:26
SPEAKER_03: We don't we wouldn't like any war today.
25:29
SPEAKER_03: No war, please.
25:30
SPEAKER_03: So show me state.
25:31
SPEAKER_03: Don't show me any war.
25:35
SPEAKER_00: Well, so now we've entered into round three.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: These characters have received the manila envelope underneath their apartment doors, and they happen to have a roommate.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: They have a friend.
25:45
SPEAKER_00: So things might get a little interesting here.
25:47
SPEAKER_00: The thing immediately eats it roommate.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: So uh round three, uh, Loki, what do you think?
25:53
SPEAKER_00: What happened?
25:54
SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
25:55
SPEAKER_03: Well, a lot of that's gonna depend on who the friend is.
25:59
SPEAKER_03: As funny as it would be to pick the diabetes guy, um I'm oh that's a good one, though.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: That's a pretty good one.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: Uh I've got to be young during the mummy, also.
26:11
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
26:13
SPEAKER_01: Uh for following some kind of timeline here.
26:15
SPEAKER_03: I've I've got to go with Kurt Russell.
26:17
SPEAKER_03: I mean, because it's it's Kurt Russell, you know, and and McCready in that movie is a stone cold badass, and he's military trained, and he's a scientist, and he has fire too.
26:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
26:29
SPEAKER_03: So um does have fire.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: But no, I mean they were just they were essentially just challeng the channeling Snake Pliskan into if he was an Arctic explorer.
26:41
SPEAKER_01: His best role has been every time he's played Snake Pliskan.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: It's which is every movie he's ever been in.
26:47
SPEAKER_03: Snake Pliskin in winter.
26:49
SPEAKER_03: But um but I mean, if the mummy, not the mummy, that spoiler, uh, if if Rick O'Connell had a friend, could it be Imhotep?
27:00
SPEAKER_03: Are they friends at this point?
27:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sure.
27:02
SPEAKER_01: So sometimes they've been frenemies.
27:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:06
SPEAKER_03: Or the Scorpion King, because the Rock wins everything.
27:11
SPEAKER_01: Uh so but I don't think he was ever a friend of me with the Scorpion King.
27:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if he I don't know if he could pull he could bring it in, but I think the Scorpion King would kill him.
27:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I th I think I think we're gonna go with Imhotep because Imhotep partnered with him against the Scorpion King, so that kind of counts.
27:28
SPEAKER_03: So at that point functionally becomes the thing in all its thing glory possessing Kurt Russell versus uh O'Connell and and Imhotep.
27:44
SPEAKER_03: Now that's a that's the real hard part here is can the thing take over dead matter?
27:54
SPEAKER_03: Because if it can, it assimilates Imhotep.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: At this point, I would give it to him.
27:59
SPEAKER_03: If it takes over Emhotep, this fight is over.
28:02
SPEAKER_03: Way over.
28:03
SPEAKER_03: Because then you have an alien being with supernatural powers, and the thing wins in both a literal and figurative lens.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: That's an interesting concept.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: Alright.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: Solid thoughts.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: Um, James, what do you think?
28:19
SPEAKER_01: I think I'm gonna go a little bit of a different route.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: I do think O'Connell would bring Emotep.
28:26
SPEAKER_01: I think that's a great choice.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: But I think in response, the thing would bring his wife, Evelyn.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
28:34
SPEAKER_01: Uh dirty.
28:36
SPEAKER_01: His wife, Evelyn.
28:37
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this becomes a horror movie now.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: It does become a horror movie.
28:40
SPEAKER_01: His wife, and and that's true, it's not a horror comedy anymore.
28:44
SPEAKER_01: Uh his wife, Evelyn, is, I don't know if you remember, uh attracted to the thing, yeah.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: Imhotep wanted her also, because she was supposed to be the vessel for his lost lover.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: And so now they are both confronted with someone they do not want to kill.
29:07
SPEAKER_01: And the thing is perfect in that situation.
29:11
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
29:11
SPEAKER_00: That's my thought about it.
29:12
SPEAKER_00: That's interesting.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, I think well, so I think that what we have here.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: Um you have a Brendan Fraser character, you know, whose theme right now is through the fucking roof.
29:26
SPEAKER_00: We've all wanted Brendan Fraser back, and he's fucking back.
29:29
SPEAKER_00: Um combined with the O'Connell they were trying to make, who was it was fucking Encino Man um but evolution hero.
29:39
SPEAKER_01: Remember when he screamed back at that mummy?
29:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: Inceno man reaction star.
29:47
SPEAKER_00: I I think there's a there's a potential here for his theme to overtake immediately, and so the thing comes with Benji.
29:55
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
29:55
SPEAKER_00: The the fucking just the whole asshole guy who, you know, we have all the horses, and he's like, You're on the wrong side of the river.
30:04
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that guy.
30:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that guy.
30:06
SPEAKER_00: Um and he brings Benji, but I don't see that really working for the thing.
30:11
SPEAKER_00: Why would he do that?
30:12
SPEAKER_00: Why would he do that?
30:13
SPEAKER_00: So um, I I see the thing just going with what he knows.
30:18
SPEAKER_00: He's gonna bring Wilfred Brimley or a Husky.
30:23
SPEAKER_01: A Husky.
30:27
SPEAKER_01: Remember, the thing is hyper intelligent.
30:29
SPEAKER_01: So the thing is hypert.
30:37
SPEAKER_01: I just think that both Imhotep and Brendan Fraser have been tricked by intelligent women throughout the course of the mummy movies.
30:46
SPEAKER_00: Well, then so I would say that I I like your ideas.
30:49
SPEAKER_00: I like all the ideas I've heard.
30:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I I would say that the mummy, uh not the mummy, sorry.
30:54
SPEAKER_00: Um I'm I I feel that Brendan Fraser um is gonna bring Dr.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: Cox from Scrubs.
31:00
SPEAKER_01: Um but on the No, we gotta you can't cross character universes.
31:07
SPEAKER_01: I can.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: Um I can and I will.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: And I also think the thing is bringing the Predator.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: I think the thing should because the thing definitely ran into the Predator at some Interstellar 7-Eleven.
31:19
SPEAKER_03: Um it's the diner from Spaceballs.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: And you know, or he even brings a fucking xenomorph alien style.
31:27
SPEAKER_01: He brings one of the high-ranking reptilian politicians of the United States shape shifting because the kindred spirits.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: And the people who believe that, I'm like, have you guys ever seen V?
31:41
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: It was a fucking show already.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
31:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like, uh, anyway.
31:46
SPEAKER_00: Um, that's what I'm saying.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm gonna say that O'Connell is gonna bring Immotep and the thing is going to bring Wilfred Brimley.
31:55
SPEAKER_01: The alien from the faculty.
31:57
SPEAKER_00: There we go.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: They're all friends.
32:01
SPEAKER_00: They're all friends.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
32:03
SPEAKER_00: Um so uh Loki, um, final thoughts.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: What happens and what's your vote?
32:09
SPEAKER_03: Um, well, I mean, apparently the thing can cure Wilfred Brimley's diabetes.
32:16
SPEAKER_03: Uh, we have learned that today.
32:17
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
32:18
SPEAKER_03: Hell yeah, I can.
32:19
SPEAKER_00: Um but I've I've I've got to take my Tylenol cold flu and diabetes.
32:26
SPEAKER_03: Okay, you can defeat Emhotep.
32:28
SPEAKER_03: Can you defeat diabetes?
32:30
SPEAKER_03: So like I said, just based on the idea, because we all kind of agreed that Emhotep's roll-in with with O'Connell.
32:39
SPEAKER_03: I've I've got to say that the thing would see emhotep for what he is, take that over, and the thing wins.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: I I I like what you're saying, and I just have to add, I now see a version of this where you know O'Connell's running around and Wilford Brimley becomes the thing's Benji.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: Just betrays him.
33:03
SPEAKER_00: Just serving the thing for insulin.
33:08
SPEAKER_03: He does a scene where he prays in all the languages when it's Wilfred Brimley's voice.
33:17
SPEAKER_00: And the thing just keeps dangling a needle.
33:22
SPEAKER_00: Oh God.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, Wilfred.
33:26
SPEAKER_01: Well, James might want to vote.
33:29
SPEAKER_01: Uh, in this case, I think the thing takes it.
33:32
SPEAKER_01: I think because we've expanded that they can have allies.
33:35
SPEAKER_01: I think honestly, I think the thing gets its ability.
33:38
SPEAKER_01: The the thing that makes the thing truly the thing.
33:45
SPEAKER_01: Uh the fact that it can it spread and infect people and spread inside other people and and uh impersonate them.
33:53
SPEAKER_01: I think it has the ability to do that.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: And I don't think the mummy, while the mummy is able to call down plagues and boils and shit, as long as there are people, uh, the thing any living thing, actually, as long as there's any living thing, the thing will be after you.
34:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, o'connell gets murdered by a squirrel.
34:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just think uh I think the thing has the advantage of being decentralized.
34:16
SPEAKER_01: Uh, whereas the emhotep and and O'Connell are are used to being central characters.
34:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, you got a very solid point there for sure.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then for me, uh, you know, after hearing that, I yeah, I'm gonna have to give it to and the only reason why um I would say, because you because I'm looking at the things that have defeated the thing.
34:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
34:39
SPEAKER_00: And you got Kurt Russell, and now we're trying to compare basically O'Connell to Kurt Russell.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:45
SPEAKER_00: And the thing that kind of swayed Kurt Russell was that, yeah, he was an action hero, but he was a horror action hero.
34:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he was a hero.
34:54
SPEAKER_00: He wasn't a spoofy horror action hero.
34:56
SPEAKER_00: He was a horror action hero.
34:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that movie was not goofy.
34:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, at all.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: And I think without the goofiness.
35:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:04
SPEAKER_03: In the end, Kurt Russell even really beat it.
35:08
SPEAKER_00: He blew it, he killed it, he blew it up with fire.
35:12
SPEAKER_00: I mean, the assumption was um, because uh if if Kurt Russell hadn't defeated it, um when he found uh what was it, Miles, right?
35:18
SPEAKER_00: That was his name.
35:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, the two of them sitting alone together, Miles would have attacked him.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: One of them would have attacked the other.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think the assumption there was definitely that uh Kurt Russell won.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: And I think just because it's Snake Pliskin, John Carpenter wanted the audience to think that maybe they got out of there.
35:36
SPEAKER_03: And then they took over New York.
35:38
SPEAKER_00: It was A number one.
35:43
SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, so uh definitely um so yeah, that I'm gonna yeah, I'm gonna also have to vote for the thing.
35:48
SPEAKER_00: So way to go, the thing.
35:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, way to go.
35:50
SPEAKER_01: Uh good job killing our fit.
35:53
SPEAKER_01: You know what?
35:53
SPEAKER_01: I was really upset the other day.
35:55
SPEAKER_01: I wanted to watch the mummy, but no one else in the house wanted to watch the mummy.
35:58
SPEAKER_01: There were four people here, and I was like, I was like, the mummy, and they were all like eh.
36:03
SPEAKER_01: I was like, God damn it, the mummy shaped my childhood.
36:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, wow.
36:07
SPEAKER_01: All right, well, that's interesting.
36:08
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's weird because especially because Brendan Fraser's in his renaissance right now.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: Isn't it though?
36:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, no one was willing to bite on the I just think they don't remember how good it is.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
36:19
SPEAKER_00: All right, well, that being said, it's time for this thing to devolve into a philosophical discussion.
36:28
SPEAKER_03: It's time for the thing to shape shift into a debate.
36:31
SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
36:33
SPEAKER_00: Cue the Vivaldi, it is time for a debate.
36:42
SPEAKER_00: All right, so I have a fun question for you guys.
36:44
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but first, before we do that, unlike any philosophical debate, you know, we have to get a little more drunk and we gotta get a little more high.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: So let's do it.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: Load them up.
36:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: Line them up, boys.
37:01
SPEAKER_00: All right.
37:02
SPEAKER_03: So this one the rubber is gone.
37:07
SPEAKER_00: Oh wow.
37:08
SPEAKER_00: He's just been chugging the whole time.
37:11
SPEAKER_00: This one goes out to our philosophical discussion this week.
37:15
SPEAKER_00: The question I have for you guys is the fuck was it?
37:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
37:20
SPEAKER_00: Um good question.
37:23
SPEAKER_03: Well, when you say it.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: The question I have for you guys before we take this shot is what hard truth do you have the hardest time accepting?
37:39
SPEAKER_03: Cheers, boy.
37:40
SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
37:40
SPEAKER_03: Oh hell, yeah, that's an alcohol question.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, drink 'em up.
37:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what hard truth do you have the hardest time accepting?
37:53
SPEAKER_00: It's uh that's a deep one right there.
37:55
SPEAKER_00: I just want to look into.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
38:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, so um I hate to be the bearer of bad news, though.
38:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, guests first.
38:06
SPEAKER_03: Well, the hard truth.
38:07
SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
38:08
SPEAKER_03: I'm uh I'm having a hard time accepting.
38:10
SPEAKER_03: I go first.
38:10
SPEAKER_03: That's a hard truth.
38:11
unknown: I can't accept right now.
38:15
SPEAKER_03: Um hard truth that you can have a hard time accepting.
38:24
SPEAKER_03: Well, that's that opens up a lot.
38:27
SPEAKER_03: Um probably that you you can't help everybody.
38:39
SPEAKER_03: No matter how much you try, no matter how much you put into it.
38:43
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I'd like to think it's selfish and shitty as we are, like down deep, there's a good person in everybody.
38:50
SPEAKER_03: But I mean, like, some people are just beyond help, some people don't want help, and that will always leave a mark somewhere.
39:00
SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
39:01
SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
39:01
SPEAKER_00: You know, I uh I had a discussion very similar to that.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm uh you know, I have someone I talk to frequently.
39:08
SPEAKER_00: Um, and one of the things that we frequently sort of butt heads on, where I'm sitting here saying that give someone a chance, everyone needs a chance, regardless.
39:18
SPEAKER_00: The person I talk to will sometimes, you know, lean on the side of you know, some like uh you have some particular addicts who've fallen on super hard times, don't want to lift themselves up beyond that.
39:30
SPEAKER_00: And so we get into a lot of discussions as far as what sort of you know aid we need to be supplying to everyone, things of that nature.
39:39
SPEAKER_00: Um so yeah, there's definitely something that I've you know talked about.
39:43
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if I'm willing to accept that truth just yet.
39:47
SPEAKER_00: Uh you know, I don't know.
39:48
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
39:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
39:50
SPEAKER_03: Fuck got deep in here, didn't it?
39:57
SPEAKER_00: Everyone listening, like, wait, fucking what?
40:00
SPEAKER_01: What are you talking about?
40:02
SPEAKER_00: O'Connell just beat the thing in a bowl of jello.
40:05
SPEAKER_00: Talk more about the mummy wedding.
40:11
SPEAKER_00: Uh well, James, you have any thoughts on that, on that point?
40:16
SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
40:17
SPEAKER_01: Um I think that it's true that you can't help everyone, but I also think it's good to try.
40:25
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: You know, you you gotta take care of number you you have to make sure that you're okay in order to help other people.
40:31
SPEAKER_01: I was about to say you gotta take care of number one, but that sounds yeah, that sounds bad.
40:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but like you do have to.
40:37
SPEAKER_01: You have to take care of yourself first.
40:39
SPEAKER_01: It's like it's like when you're on a plane, when they're like, hey, you know, before you put your mask on your kid, put a mask on yourself because you can't put a mask on your kid if you're not breathing.
40:49
SPEAKER_01: And um, and so when you're helping other people, you have to make sure, and and me as a I used to be a lifeguard.
40:56
SPEAKER_01: Um, so you know, we were trained, hey, if you don't feel comfortable, hell you know, you never jump in to help a person unless you have a flotation device because you have to be stable as well, otherwise you're both gonna die.
41:09
SPEAKER_01: And it's that kind of situation.
41:11
SPEAKER_01: As long as we're not putting ourselves in harm, I think we should be helping or offering help to people as much as possible.
41:18
SPEAKER_01: The problem is there's a bunch of people who wouldn't like that because that's socialist.
41:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that the initial yeah well, I think the initial problem you had you almost said, like, I gotta take care of number one first.
41:29
SPEAKER_00: I think the problem with that statement is right now we're caught in this little divide here where people say the I gotta take care of number one first, and then they finish with fuck everyone else.
41:39
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
41:39
SPEAKER_01: But they're already also pretty well taken care of.
41:43
SPEAKER_01: You know, they they don't give where they can at all, they use it as an excuse.
41:47
SPEAKER_01: But you know, it's the get your flotation device on first, is the way you want to do it.
41:52
SPEAKER_01: And I'm looking forward to getting paid some big bucks as a software engineer so I can start doing shit with that money.
41:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:58
SPEAKER_01: Like I'm so excited to to to do shit with that money to help other people because other people don't have access to the kinds of things I do.
42:07
SPEAKER_01: I gotta, I'm so glad I'm gonna have my fucking flotation device so I can help others with it.
42:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, so that was a solid truth.
42:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, did you have any other thoughts on that?
42:19
SPEAKER_03: Um, well, to to bring a little bit of humor back into the proceedings, I've gotta say that contrary to Mr.
42:28
SPEAKER_03: O'Connell's thoughts, uh fire will not help everything.
42:34
SPEAKER_03: So uh but but I mean that that is a hard thing, is it like as much as you may want to, you you just can't, and that's that's a hard thing to deal with.
42:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
42:48
SPEAKER_00: All right.
42:48
SPEAKER_00: Um well James, moving on to you then.
42:51
SPEAKER_00: Um what's the hardest truth that you have that you can't accept or have problems accepting?
42:58
SPEAKER_00: The hardest truth that I had I wasn't thinking about it at all.
43:01
SPEAKER_00: Um which is good.
43:02
SPEAKER_00: You're listening.
43:08
SPEAKER_01: The hardest truth that I have to accept.
43:13
SPEAKER_01: So let me think a hard truth I have to accept.
43:16
SPEAKER_00: That vampires aren't real and you'll probably never be part of a vampire diary.
43:22
SPEAKER_03: Son of a bitch, we're done here.
43:29
SPEAKER_01: Um I would say, I would say probably uh my my the hardest truth that I that I refuse to accept is like one of the things I just said in that previous statement.
43:40
SPEAKER_01: It's about money.
43:41
SPEAKER_01: And I would really love to see a society where we stop monetizing things, where we stop commodifying everything.
43:50
SPEAKER_01: Uh, but I think I have to live with the fact that I don't think I'm going to see anything like that in my life, and that I can only try to lay foundations of uh people helping each other when they can, where they can.
44:07
SPEAKER_01: Uh it's this it's this concept of like when when we watch a story, I I feel like we all kind of want our lives to be stories.
44:15
SPEAKER_01: And stories have beginning rising climax, uh, you know, rising action, climax, falling action resolution, and you the the hero gets to see the fruits of their labor.
44:26
SPEAKER_01: And or they or and or it's part of the story they don't, but we all want to see the fruits of our labor.
44:31
SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I feel like in my lifetime I the fruits of my labor are not going to be ready.
44:37
SPEAKER_01: And I think I have to deal with that.
44:39
SPEAKER_01: The things I want to achieve uh just won't come in a lifetime.
44:42
SPEAKER_01: It's really tough thing to to think about.
44:44
SPEAKER_01: But I have to kind of try to uh uh keep an idea going that everybody should be helping each other in whatever way they can when they can.
44:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
44:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, and that's uh well uh what's the uh the old quip um where um the most you know caring, kind, righteous people, they you know plant the seeds for trees they know that they'll never stand in the shade of.
45:11
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
45:13
SPEAKER_01: So that's a tough one.
45:15
SPEAKER_01: I really want my story to have that nice climax and then falling action.
45:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but no, I think it's gonna be all action.
45:22
SPEAKER_01: I think it's gonna be all rising action.
45:25
SPEAKER_00: And then the just stick you're games.
45:30
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be the rising action in someone else's story.
45:33
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
45:34
SPEAKER_00: I mean uh yeah.
45:36
SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean that's that's better than being an NPC.
45:38
SPEAKER_00: I mean Yeah, for sure.
45:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
45:42
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's uh Yeah, that's a tough one.
45:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, these hard fucking truths.
45:47
SPEAKER_00: Um God, we should have just done what we usually do and talk about child murder.
45:52
SPEAKER_00: The good old days.
45:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, well then for me, I would have to say I think that the hardest truth for me that I don't want to fucking accept would would probably be Yeah, that I'll I'll never I'll never be a vampire in vampire diaries.
46:15
SPEAKER_01: Um I'm gonna tell you something, fair listeners, uh that it is true that Ryan would not in vampire diaries.
46:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
46:24
SPEAKER_01: But Ryan, uh more than anything in the world, would he would give anything to be a vampire.
46:29
SPEAKER_01: That'd be fucking sweet.
46:30
SPEAKER_01: When when when when the vampire offers that dark gift of immortality, and they're like, be sure.
46:36
SPEAKER_01: Uh what will you what are you willing to do for this?
46:38
SPEAKER_01: They'll be like, I'll do fucking anything.
46:40
SPEAKER_01: You give me give me whatever, I'll kill a baby.
46:42
SPEAKER_01: I don't even give a shit.
46:46
SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, for sure.
46:48
SPEAKER_00: Um but I I think that translates there there's a portion of that translates that for me the hardest truth is that all that you know the fun stuff you hear about, all the legends, you know.
47:01
SPEAKER_00: I I think the hardest truth for me to swallow is that look, 10 to 1.
47:05
SPEAKER_00: Um there ain't nothing, there's there's no meaning.
47:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 10 to 1, there's no fucking vampires out there, 10 to 1, then all these legends, myths, and I think it's like a hundred million.
47:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100 million to one.
47:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, like it, you know, uh it was all bullshit.
47:24
SPEAKER_00: You're you know, you are a chaotic result of you know, a planet hurtling through space at just the right distance from everything, and eventually a crab creature fucked a squirrel, and here you are.
47:37
SPEAKER_00: And um that's uh that was beautiful.
47:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
47:42
SPEAKER_01: Like David fucking Adenborough.
47:46
SPEAKER_00: Um I think that's the that's the hard thing.
47:49
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, something that you kind of have to um accept.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: Like uh, you know, you're you being that uh you know that child who you know needs to understand that Santa Claus ain't a thing.
47:59
SPEAKER_00: You know, he was a German guy, he was definitely named Klaus.
48:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, Jesus, if he existed, was a Middle Eastern Jew, probably wasn't white.
48:08
SPEAKER_00: Um you know you know, he uh all those things, you know.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: As a kid, there's some shit that you have to sort of accept.
48:18
SPEAKER_00: And I think that the acceptance just on this grand cosmic scale of, hey man, you're a half monkey whipping around in Iraq.
48:26
SPEAKER_00: Good luck.
48:28
SPEAKER_01: I think I think you need to get into science.
48:30
SPEAKER_01: Science is pretty fucking cool.
48:32
SPEAKER_01: Like if you're sure.
48:33
SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, you've you've done anthropology, right?
48:36
SPEAKER_01: Which is a science, but it's like a human-based science.
48:39
SPEAKER_01: I wonder if natural science would be I wonder if you could see I wonder if if you per pursued natural science, if you'd see magic in it.
48:47
SPEAKER_00: Well, no, there's parts of that, and that's an interesting thing you bring thing you bring up.
48:50
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you have um you know uh you know, certain authors, you know, especially of the cosmic horror genre, Loki, if you're familiar, who you know, I mean HP Lovecraft, I think, was the one who said that um a sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable to magic.
49:07
SPEAKER_00: No, that was uh Arthur Oh Arthur C.
49:10
SPEAKER_00: Clarke.
49:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
49:13
SPEAKER_00: Um so that sort of concept there.
49:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, but I think just these half monkeys on their quest uh no, no, HP Lovecraft had the racist cat.
49:22
SPEAKER_01: He had the cat with the super racist name.
49:24
SPEAKER_01: That's what he's famous for.
49:25
SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean, like, in in that regard, like, with at the risk of turning this into like a three-hour-long podcast with like philosophical points, like I find a lot of that in like physics in philosophy.
49:39
SPEAKER_03: Like, a lot of that really kind of opens up and you can see the possibility of those things a lot more.
49:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
49:48
SPEAKER_01: It's amazing that a rock flying through space at millions of miles an hour uh was able to make me that can think up an entire universe in its head.
50:01
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
50:02
SPEAKER_01: What?
50:03
SPEAKER_01: Whoa.
50:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
50:05
SPEAKER_01: I just came up from a rock because a rock was sitting around for billions of years, and then it's all of a sudden Val Kilmer is reffing a fight.
50:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's like, well, motherfucker, you can think of anything.
50:17
SPEAKER_00: And we did.
50:18
SPEAKER_01: And we did.
50:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
50:20
SPEAKER_00: No, and I mean that's a good point.
50:22
SPEAKER_00: Uh no, I mean, so there's definitely some hard truth, though.
50:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a hard truth.
50:26
SPEAKER_01: It's it is a hard truth.
50:27
SPEAKER_01: Maybe some people have come to terms with it.
50:29
SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm sure there's a lot of people who have come to terms with what I'm talking about, you know, where they're like, oh no, I've always known that.
50:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
50:36
SPEAKER_01: You know, but uh yeah, that's definitely a hard truth.
50:39
SPEAKER_01: Coming to terms with that shit.
50:41
SPEAKER_00: With the fact so there's a certain you know, mundane, you know, slice to your existence, especially the more we progress, the more we find out, the more mundane it'll become.
50:53
SPEAKER_01: Damn it! Damn, being mundane sucks, dude.
50:58
SPEAKER_01: Has anyone else realized this?
50:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
51:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, here's what I say I say um if you happen to be short, you're a dwarf now.
51:05
SPEAKER_00: If you happen to be skinny, you're an elf.
51:07
SPEAKER_00: Um, we're gonna get you surgery for pointy ears.
51:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm an ogre.
51:10
SPEAKER_00: Um, we're gonna turn back capitalism into just coinage.
51:14
SPEAKER_00: Barter system.
51:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, barter system.
51:16
SPEAKER_01: I'll trade you four beaver furs for that PlayStation.
51:19
SPEAKER_00: And we release tigers and lions just into random places for quests.
51:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, fuck yeah.
51:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
51:25
SPEAKER_01: That's that's about no bullets, no guns anymore.
51:28
SPEAKER_01: That's about two steps away from the back on the menu, boys.
51:33
SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah.
51:34
SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah.
51:35
SPEAKER_00: Let's roll it back.
51:36
SPEAKER_00: Let's bring some magic back into our lives.
51:40
SPEAKER_00: All right.
51:41
SPEAKER_00: Well, all right.
51:42
SPEAKER_00: Well, so that being said, interesting thoughts all around.
51:45
SPEAKER_00: So there you go, folks, at home.
51:46
SPEAKER_00: There's the shit that you didn't want to really focus on.
51:49
SPEAKER_00: But here we are.
51:49
SPEAKER_01: Loki, I'm glad we ended with that.
51:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, hang on to that one.
51:55
SPEAKER_00: Loki, any final thoughts?
51:57
SPEAKER_03: Oh man, we gotta do this again.
52:00
SPEAKER_03: I mean, it w it was as civil as some drunk high people can be, and like it was it was really interesting, thought-provoking.
52:09
SPEAKER_03: I had I had a good time.
52:11
SPEAKER_00: Uh hey, awesome.
52:13
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
52:13
SPEAKER_01: We we had a really good time talking about it.
52:15
SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, for sure.
52:16
SPEAKER_00: Some of that some of that thing conversation was fucking hilarious.
52:19
SPEAKER_01: I I if I don't if I don't say so myself, we were pretty funny.
52:28
SPEAKER_00: Oh, we're so witty and clever.
52:30
SPEAKER_00: Wow, I love this podcast.
52:32
SPEAKER_00: All right, so Loki.
52:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so Loki, thank you so much for joining us.
52:37
SPEAKER_00: Uh, where can we find you?
52:39
SPEAKER_03: Um, I'm on Instagram at lokiej to wit.
52:43
SPEAKER_03: I am on Twitter, which is poorly neglected because it's a cesspool.
52:50
SPEAKER_01: Um, this fucking sucks.
52:52
SPEAKER_01: It really does.
52:53
SPEAKER_03: Uh so we'll just skip that one because I kind of ignore it.
52:56
SPEAKER_03: And uh I have a fan page on Facebook that is from the desk of Loki J DeWitt.
53:02
SPEAKER_03: So hell yeah.
53:04
SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
53:04
SPEAKER_00: Cool, cool, cool.
53:05
SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, everyone listening, be sure to check that out.
53:07
SPEAKER_00: Um, James, where can you find us?
53:09
SPEAKER_01: You can find us on Instagram at high and dry podcast.
53:14
SPEAKER_01: That's high in the letter in dry podcast.
53:18
SPEAKER_01: Like, seriously, look at the title of this podcast, and then if you type that in, you will find us.
53:27
SPEAKER_00: So we're just doing it.
53:28
SPEAKER_00: Just copy and paste it.
53:30
SPEAKER_00: All right, so look, you want to find high and dry podcasts?
53:32
SPEAKER_00: Here's the deal.
53:33
SPEAKER_00: All right, there's a bait and pro shop in Minnesota.
53:35
SPEAKER_00: All right, you're gonna go to the back.
53:36
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna say fish.
53:37
SPEAKER_00: He's gonna say tuna.
53:39
SPEAKER_01: He's gonna give you a map and a bus ticket.
53:44
SPEAKER_00: Google us.
53:45
SPEAKER_00: All right, so uh again, Loki, thank you so much for joining us.
53:49
SPEAKER_00: I had a great time.
53:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, this has been High and Dry Podcast, everyone listening.
53:53
SPEAKER_00: Uh locally Loki, hopefully you'll join us for the after party.
53:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, but so take it easy, everyone.
53:58
SPEAKER_00: Bye.
53:59
SPEAKER_01: Bye.