Latest / Executive Careers with Fexingo: VP, C-Suite, and Senior Leadership Career Strategy / How Senior Leaders Use a Career Relationship Audit
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I want to talk about something I don't think we've ever done on the show—a concept I call the career relationship audit. Luna: Interesting. You mean like a formal review of who's in your professional network? Lucas: Exactly. Most senior leaders I work with have a network that's grown organically over twenty or thirty years. They keep adding people but almost never prune or assess. And that's a problem because when you're making a career transition—especially into a C-suite or board role—the quality of your relationships matters more than the quantity. Luna: There's a famous Stanford study that found something like 85 percent of senior executive placements come through referrals, not job boards. Lucas: Right. That study from the late 2010s, actually—researchers at Stanford and Columbia tracked over a thousand executive searches and found that referrals from the hiring executive's own network were the decisive factor in 85 percent of cases. So if your network is stale or misaligned, you're essentially flying blind. Luna: So what does a relationship audit actually look like? Is it a spreadsheet? Lucas: It can be, but I prefer a simpler framework. Three tiers: mentors, sponsors, and anchors. Mentors give you advice and perspective. Sponsors actively advocate for you when you're not in the room. Anchors are people you trust to give you unvarnished feedback, even when it's uncomfortable. Luna: I love that. And I bet most executives over-index on mentors and under-index on sponsors. Lucas: That's exactly what I see. A mentor will tell you, 'Here's how I navigated that situation.' A sponsor will call the search committee chair and say, 'You should interview this person.' Without sponsors, you're just getting advice, not access. Luna: So how do you know if you have enough sponsors? Lucas: I ask leaders to map every key relationship on a simple two-by-two: influence on one axis, trust on the other. High influence and high trust—those are your sponsors. You want at least three or four of those who are active and relevant to your next move. Luna: And if you don't have them? Lucas: Then you need a deliberate building plan. I worked with a former CFO—let's call him Mark—who wanted to land a board seat in the healthcare sector. He had plenty of mentors in finance but zero sponsors in healthcare. So he did a 90-day sprint: attended three industry conferences, volunteered for a committee at a hospital foundation, and reconnected with an old colleague who was now a chief medical officer. Within six months, that colleague sponsored him for a board opening. Luna: That's a great example. But I wonder—how do you audit relationships without making people feel like transactions? Lucas: That's the delicate part. The audit is for your own awareness, not something you announce. You're not going to call someone and say, 'I'm downgrading you from sponsor to mentor.' Instead, you shift your time investment. You start reaching out to the people in the sponsor quadrant more frequently, and you gracefully let some mentor relationships become less active. Luna: What about people who are negative anchors? The ones who drain your energy or subtly undermine you? Lucas: Those are dangerous. I call them 'relationship liabilities.' They're often people you've known for a long time—former colleagues, even friends—but they consistently leave you feeling worse after a conversation. A relationship audit should flag those. You don't need to formally fire them, but you can reduce interaction and avoid seeking their advice during a transition. Luna: I read a Harvard Business Review piece that said the average senior executive's network shrinks by about 15 percent in the first two years after a promotion. People assume they'll have more connections, but the demands of the role actually isolate them. Lucas: That's a real phenomenon. The higher you go, the fewer peers you have. Your direct reports can't be sponsors in the same way. So you have to be intentional about building relationships outside your organization—other executives in adjacent industries, board members, search consultants. Luna: How often should someone do a relationship audit? Lucas: I recommend a light version every quarter and a deep version once a year. The deep audit should take about two hours. You list every significant professional relationship, categorize it by tier, and ask yourself three questions: Is this relationship reciprocal? Is it aligned with where I'm going? And when was the last time I gave value to this person without expecting something in return? Luna: That last question is key. The best sponsors are people you've helped first. Lucas: Exactly. And that's where a lot of senior leaders get it wrong. They approach networking as a withdrawal activity—they ask for intros, for advice, for referrals. But the most effective networkers are constantly depositing. They share an article relevant to the other person's industry. They make an introduction without being asked. They offer to review a presentation. Luna: So the audit isn't just about who you know—it's about who you've served. Lucas: Exactly. And if you realize you've been a net taker in a key relationship, you have a clear action item: find a way to add value. It could be as simple as forwarding a job posting or as substantial as nominating them for an award. Luna: That reminds me of something I heard from a chief marketing officer who did this. She realized she had seven strong mentors but only one sponsor. So she started a monthly dinner series where she invited rising executives to meet with her board members. Within a year, three of those board members became her sponsors. Lucas: That's brilliant. She created a platform that gave her a reason to interact with her board members in a context where she was providing value. That's a classic deposit move. Luna: If today's conversation helps you think through your own network, I think it's worth asking—how do we keep these episodes ad-free and valuable? Lucas: Yeah, that's a fair question. The answer is listener support. If you found this useful, the simplest way to keep the show going is a small contribution at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It literally pays for the hosting and production time. Luna: And there's no pressure—just if you've gotten real value. It helps us stay independent and focused on content that actually helps you. Lucas: Okay, back to the audit. One more tool I want to share: the 48-hour rule. When you're preparing for a transition, set aside 48 hours to contact every person in your sponsor and anchor tiers. Not to ask for anything—just to reconnect. Say, 'I'm thinking about my next chapter and wanted to catch up.' The response rate will tell you a lot about the health of those relationships. Luna: I love that. It's a stress test for your network. Lucas: Exactly. If half the people don't respond within a week, you have a network that's more theoretical than real. And that's useful information. Better to know that now than after you've started a job search. Luna: So for someone listening who wants to start today, what's the first step? Lucas: Open your contact list or LinkedIn connections. Scroll through and ask yourself: who are the five people who have the most influence on my career direction? Then honestly assess whether each one is a mentor, sponsor, or anchor. If you don't have at least two sponsors, that's your priority gap. Luna: And for the sponsors you do have, how do you maintain those relationships without being a burden? Lucas: Regular, low-stakes contact. A quarterly check-in—'How are things? I saw your company's announcement, congratulations.' Not every interaction has to be about your career. In fact, it shouldn't be. The sponsor relationship thrives on genuine interest, not transaction. Luna: I think the word 'audit' sounds intimidating, but when you break it down like this, it's really just being intentional about something most people leave to chance. Lucas: That's the whole philosophy. Senior leaders don't leave their financial portfolio to chance—they review it quarterly. Your relationship capital is just as important. A career relationship audit is the same discipline applied to the people who can open doors, give honest feedback, and advocate for you when you're not in the room. Luna: So my takeaway is: map your tiers, identify your gaps, and start depositing. Lucas: That's it. And if you do that, even for one hour, you'll be ahead of most executives I know. The ones who make the biggest moves aren't necessarily the most qualified on paper—they're the ones with the strongest, most intentional networks. Luna: Great advice. I'm going to do my own audit this weekend. Lucas: Good. And let us know how it goes—we might do a follow-up episode on what people discover. Luna: I'd love that. Until next time.