Latest / Carmedy / Episode 17 - Frickin Frick

Transcript

Episode 17 - Frickin Frick · Carmedy

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: What's up everybody and welcome to the Carmody Podcast where comedy meets you or slash my commute.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Dave Thompson, and this is episode number 17.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: 17.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: I'm almost my podcast is almost of being an adult.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: 18.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: We're at 17.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: Then we gotta hit 17 and a half and then 18, so we're almost there.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: What's up everybody?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: How are we doing?
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: This is a beautiful week.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh let me tell you what I have been hearing.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: I've been hearing, Dave, frick you! You didn't put off enough, you don't put out enough episodes, you're not consistent enough.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: I wanna punch you in your gut.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: I hate you, you're terrible, you're not funny, you're ugly.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: And that's just what my wife's been saying.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: So that hits home.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: But let me tell you something.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: Look, you gotta you gotta go with the flow.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta roll with the punches.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: Am I appreciative for the hundreds of views I got this last month?
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: But we're in September, baby.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: We gotta look forward and we gotta look on.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: And what's in front of you right now is episode number 17 and me getting back out here with you guys.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Shout out all the Car medians and the ones who rock with me when I put the episodes out, who follow up with me, who talk to me in real life, who who are j are kind and generous and wonderful people.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: But for the rest of you, frick you guys! Okay?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: You here to to listen to my pod and then and then talk bad about me behind my back, you Siggos?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna say who it is, but there was a comic talking about my wife.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: There was a comic talking about my wife.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: This person hasn't even met my wife, but they were talking about my wife, and they they didn't know I was there, but they were saying something about my wife.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: You guys, why?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you do this?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you do this?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: And by and by you guys, I mean like weirdos.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you do the things you do?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: Why are you talking about people like that?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's not nice.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: That's not nice.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: If you talk about me, well, first of all, I know there's a lot of people talking about me behind my back, but look, I'm a comic, I can take it.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: Don't bring in outside people though.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: You wanna catch hands.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, don't be bringing in, don't be bringing in outside interference.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: Don't be bringing in outside interference.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's not nice.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: You wanna roast me?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: You can roast me into my face, you chicken butt.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I said it.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: You freaking chicken butt.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: If you guys think about the roast that I just said, chicken butt, you could probably figure out who's the person that was talking.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: But that's real sm that's real deep though.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: That one might be over your heads.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: But look, here's the deal.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: God is good.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: God is good.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: I got a new job.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: Woo woo! I got a new job, baby! I'm going through all the testing right now and I'm just hoping and I'm praying that I pass all these medical exams and hearing tests and physical tests and physical abilities tests and freaking drug tests because I stand around you guys, and you guys are always smoking weed around me, you freaking weed smokers.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Frick you weed smokers! Imagine I don't get a job that's gonna bless my family and be so good for my life, be so good for my mental because I was hanging out with you frickers.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: Imagine! Imagine that! That I got this job that's gonna be so good for me, but I can't take it because I was hanging out with a bunch of freaking weed smokers.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Imagine.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: I don't wanna imagine that.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine all the people.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: Alright.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: We go though, we go, but yes, planning on uh starting September, late September.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's very exciting news, very exciting thing for my family.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: We're very, very, very happy, and uh just hoping all the tests come back good and everything works out and my vision's good and hearing's good and bada ba ba ba all that stuff um comes back good and and normal.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, if that is, then I'm gonna be starting here in just uh like three weeks.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: So be pretty cool.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be working on trains, working on trains, and let me tell you, when I first found out that I got the job and they sent me that offer letter, the it the autism in me was like because I was so excited, you know what I'm saying?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because I was so because I was so excited because it's trains.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: Ha ha ha ha ha! So yeah, it's pretty cool, it's good pay, uh, it's good hours to start.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: Next year might be a little little bit different, a little bit tougher.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: I might my schedule might change this next year, but either way, you gotta roll with it.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta you gotta work, you gotta be able to provide.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: I gotta be able to provide for the beautiful people in my family.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: Not the ugly ones, but the beautiful ones.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely, definitely.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, so that's very exciting.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: I uh oh, let's go over some comedy stuff.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: So recently I've uh done some shows like the district heat wave comedy tour show just happened.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: That was very fun.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: Got invited back again.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: Let's go, baby.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, tonight I'm also going to do details with uh the owners of Brew Kuipa.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Keep that show going, which had 90 people come last time.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely bonkers.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: Shout out Pierce Samaro on the Heat Wave Comedy Tour.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: If you guys don't follow him, follow him on IG at Pierce Marao L O L.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: Follow him.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Be great stuff.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_02: Uh he posted a video from the district or sorry, from the Brukeypa show, rather.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: Uh 20 plus thousand views on TikTok.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's blowing up, the kid's getting famous, the kid's getting recognized when he's buying Siggies from 7-Eleven.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that's just because he's a regular, but you know how it is.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you know how it is in this town.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know how it is.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: When you start breaking through, people be looking at you and they be they be snarling at you.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: They be they be scheming behind your back because you'd be blowing up like this, but not not Pierce Tomorrow.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: Pierce Tomorrow, he's beyond a scheme.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: Pierce Tomorrow cannot be canceled.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: Pierce Tomorrow is uncancelable.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: He is just one of the funniest people I know, and I'm so glad to have him on the Heat Wave Tour.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: Please book Pierce Tomorrow if you're listening to us.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: Book him, freaking talk to him.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: Excuse me, I know that's difficult sometimes to talk to him because he's kind of a kook.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: But uh, no, he's cool, he's cool, he's cool.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, other things I've been doing.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: Uh kind of got a bunch of shows lined up this month.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: Club shows, very excited.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: Also, next month, now that it's September, I can say next month, your boy's gonna be at the ice house.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Let's go, baby.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: Your boy's at the ice house, it's gonna be fun.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: And then the following month in November, your boys at Mic Drop San Diego.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: So we've got two club debuts coming up, back-to-back months, October and November.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: I'm very excited about those.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: Very, very excited to be on those shows, as well as being booked at the Laugh Factory in San Diego as well.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: Y'all, I'm going wild right now.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm getting booked at all these new clubs that I've never performed at like this.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm very thankful and very appreciative.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: And uh look, here's the thing, right?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: I want to be able to do more content.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna take a step back from doing as many open mics as I do and focus more on the length and time of writing before bringing bits on stage, and also focusing on the other things that are super important to this business, which is content.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: You guys would know I don't do enough content.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: I need to do more content, more consistent content, and and learn.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: Some of the things maybe aren't gonna be Academy Award winners, but then maybe some of the things will be very funny, and I'm really glad that I did them.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_02: So it's just one of those things.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: I need to just put out the content and uh take the time to do it, so that's what I'm gonna do.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: You guys are gonna come walk with me up here.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um you know what?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna pause it real quick and then I'll pick it back up as soon as I do this delivery.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know how we roll over here.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know how we roll.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about it.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: About me bang.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: My debut at the National Lampoons Yellow Door Comedy Club in San Diego.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I gotta say it was a ton of fun.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: They loved conspiracies, they love the Apple bit, they love conspiracies.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: I was asking them about conspiracies, and this woman's like, I love every conspiracy.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Oh, so you think Michelle Obama is a man?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: And she goes, he is.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, yo, that's crazy.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: I've always tried to make this one joke work.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's just never worked.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: I've always tried to make a joke work about immediately after that rumor came out of Michelle Obama actually being a boy, a boy with a boingo, a boingo boyo, um, that there's like photographers taking pictures of Michelle's crotch.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: Which there was, and they were getting posted, like investigating every bump or lump or whatever, and you know, there's there's certain things I would say be like, man, that'd be a bad time to have like a cyst down there or something wonky going down there.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you had anything that wasn't just straight shaved legs, you know, people are gonna say something about they'll be like, Oh, I spot it! There's the penis, there it is.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yep, there's the penis, Michelle Cockbama, you know, there it is, there she is, there he is, whatever.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, I I joke about how I think it would be funny if she ever wanted to, or he, whatever, uh, wanted to um mess with them that you know Michelle would put like a cucumber down there, or like something, something, something bulky or bulgy, you know what I'm saying?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: To kind of throw them off the scent and and give people something to talk about.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's probably not you know activities that a first lady would actually do, but you know, Michelle could be the first man, so I if it's if Michelle's the first man, then I think it's okay for me to say that.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: So what are you gonna do?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Either way, I think it I think it's funny.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, the show went over really well.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: I was really appreciative.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: Shout out Ryan Archelletta uh for booking me on the show, it was super fun.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_02: We also had a above the iron showcase where I did 15 minutes, super super fun.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: I had this audience member uh at the end.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: I had kind of decided like hey, just throw out a topic, throw out a word.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: I want to like see how my writing's been doing, and so just throw it out and I'll see what I have for it.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: And and this dude on the left, who's engaged by the way, he goes, AIDS, AIDS, and I'm like, AIDS, like, but you're saying it like with your chest, you know what I'm saying?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, AIDS, and I'm like, dude, this guy sounds like a caveman asking for AIDS, it's wild.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I was like, AIDS, but earlier in the show, he had said that he's a big gambler, and I was like, dude, you really are a gambler.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: This freaking guy's a gambler.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: This guy's gambling with death.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_02: This guy's gambling with AIDS, dude.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's nuts.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um guess you would have had to have been there, it's fine.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: I can I can hear your lack of laughter from my car.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: You freaking cutie pie, you cutie pie, you know, I can't say there's women that listen.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, women, I don't mean I don't okay.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: My wife listens sometimes too, okay?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: I don't mean that to like okay, if you're a woman and and and I said cutie pie, just know that's only to my wife.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: But then if you're guys, it's okay for me to say cutie pie to guys.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's my wife.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, specifically, my wife did not tell me I could say that, but I'm just saying it, and then I'll ask for forgiveness later.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm not telling other girls that they're that they're whatever I said, cute or pretty or whatever word I said, I'm not saying that about other women.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: Other women are friggin' ugly, you know?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: My wife is beautiful, every other one is absolutely ugly and terrible, and yeah, no, no thank you.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but yes, so it was very fun.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: Those two shows were very good.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: I got some shows coming up.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: I have another I.e.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: comedy showcase at Above the Iron this next week, as well as a show with Joanna Coca at Above the Iron.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: She's very, very funny.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: She's uh toured with Gary Owen, she opens for a lot of really good comics.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: She's headlined the comedy store multiple times now.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: She's uh got a lot of funny, funny friends, and her herself, very, very funny person.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: So definitely check out her stuff on Instagram.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_02: Very, very, very funny.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: Excited to have her up.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: As well as one liner madness.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: I will be participating in one liner madness again.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: And do I have my one liners weddy weddy?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: Do I have my one winer's weddy?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have my one winer's wedding, wiki.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: Wiki, I don't have my one winer's wedding.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I need to stop.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: I need to relax.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: You guys, you ever need a freaking Dr.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I need right now.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: I need a freaking Dr.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper, and I haven't been drinking sugar the past two days.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_02: I haven't been drinking soda the past two days, and I freaking want a Dr.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper, a big fat one, a big fat Dr.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm not gonna do it.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: Cause I'm just not ready to give up.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: If I'm trying to do a little bit better for myself, I don't want to give up three days in, you know what I'm saying?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so close to losing a hundred pounds already.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: So close.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's pretty cool.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um goodness, a weight loss journey.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I was told by a friend of mine, hey, the diet is the most important thing.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: Exercise is great.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: Jogging, running, biking, all those things, great, amazing.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: But like, you gotta diet.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, frick.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: Eating junk is so cheap.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm sure this has been said before, but it's true.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: Eating junk is so cheap.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like you can go to Wendy's and spend six dollars and get that whole biggie bag and get a burger, nuggets, fries, and a drink for five nine and nine.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: And then if you add out two dollars more, they'll give you a chocolate frosty for dessert.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: You kidding me?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: You're gonna give me a freaking heart attack, Wendy's.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: What's good?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: You're gonna give me a heart attack?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: You ain't even gonna kiss me first, you psycho.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: Alright.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, other things, comedy related, other things.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_02: Uh did my first in-person episode of my new podcast.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, excuse me, guys, I got a door dash order I have to accept.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for being patient.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: I was just accepting a DoorDash order.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know how it is.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, my first episode of the new pod uh was recorded.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: It looks great, it sounds great, the equipment is great because you got you know the microphones and all that stuff.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I'm very excited, gotta figure it out.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: I have a co-host with me.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, we're we're co-hosting together.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: I gotta figure out, you know, what the name is for the pod.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's something we've discussed a little bit, but we haven't decided on what that is gonna be exactly.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: And let me ask you guys this too, because I talk a lot.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: I told my co-host, I said, hey, if I'm like going on too much of a tangent, or if it's like, yo, you gotta like chill out, like just tell me to shut up.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: Do you guys have that problem when you're on podcasts?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: You just kind of feel like you take over the conversation because I'm honestly not even meaning to in that way, like I'm not trying to take it over in a disrespectful way, or because I think like, oh, everybody needs to listen to me and nobody else should be listened to.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that's not the point.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I would just do a solo pod every day of my life if that was the point.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's not the point.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying, overall in general, does anybody else have a problem with just like talking too much, asking too many questions, giving too many explanations, as some would maybe say.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_02: But look, here's the thing I'm thinking about, right?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking about the fact that you know, I go to these clubs, right?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: I go to these comedy clubs.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_02: I go to these comedy clubs and I see photographers, and they're taking these beautiful photos, but the photographers they're they're charging so much, you know what I mean?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like the photographers that are doing it professionally, you know, like headshots or whatever it is that you're wanting to get done, like it's it's freaking like it's expensive to get these photos.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: I had a guy quote me one time coming out to a show.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted a show to get photographed, and this guy told me it was gonna be$300 an hour.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so he's like, Oh, also set up a prep time too.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: So we're looking at, I don't know, maybe like$2,000 or something like that to come to a show and freaking chill and take some pics.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, frick that, I'm gonna take pics on my phone, yo.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: I got an Apple iPhone, I'm qualified, freaking qualified.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, I gotta go inside Taco Bell right now, so let me give you a pause.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, just picked up that order from Taco Bell, and I'm gonna be honest with you guys.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: I since I've been trying to eat, you know, a tiny bit better and do that whole thing.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: You guys, I'm going into Taco Bell.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: They have cinnamon sugar churro fries with caramel dipping sauce.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_02: I just wanna stab myself in the freaking eye.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know how good that sounds to me?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: You guys might think like, oh Dave, you eat freaking terrible and you eat junk.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I do eat junk.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, I know.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: And it tastes so good.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_02: It tastes so good.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: It tastes like 30 years off my life.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's what it tastes like.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's what it tastes like.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_02: It tastes like dying at 62 instead of dying at 82.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's what it tastes like.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: And you might be like, oh, well, that's not 30 years.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: I get it! That's the point.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a troll, okay?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: I've been a troll this whole time.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_02: Do you guys not know that?
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: Frick.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: I want some freaking junk food.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: I would murder a chocolate shake from the habit right now.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: You have no idea how much I would murder a chocolate shake from the habit right now.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: If I could get a chocolate shake with some freaking whipped cream, oh my goodness.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: You guys, I might relapse.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: I might relapse.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's been 48 hours without excessive sugar, and by excessive, I mean I know sometimes there's sugar is in things, but I haven't been eating cakes, I haven't been eating ice cream, I haven't been eating cookies or chocolate or any of that junk food.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_02: I wanna be though.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: Frick! You guys, am I gonna relapse live on the pod?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: Am I gonna stop it at a 7-Eleven live on Carmody and get a big fat package of Reese's sticks?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: Is that what I'm gonna do?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: Live on the pod so you guys can hear me just revel in my despair.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: Is that what I should do?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think so.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think that's what God wants for me to do.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: Ah Fick! Alright, I'm getting off track here.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: I'm talking a lot of jargon right now.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so let's talk about it.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: Let's talk about it.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: Getting back into the comedy sphere, the comedy space.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: Comedy space.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um hearing of some new open mics popping up.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: I am so happy.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so happy.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: It's so cool when there are people that take on this endeavor of opening up weekly mics and producing weekly mics at a venue, and for the venues that are out there that do that, man, we gotta support those venues and we gotta thank those venues because that is so awesome of them to be like, hey, you know what?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_02: Every single week, our Tuesday or our Wednesday or our Thursday or Monday, whatever day it is, we we're gonna dedicate that to open mic comedy.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: That's brave.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: You wanna talk about being brave?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: Talk about owning a business and then telling local comics they can do comedy there every week.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's freaking brave.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, like really freaking brave.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, I gotta drop off these freaking Taco Bell meals that I wanna eat, so I'll be right back.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so I'm freaking.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: Hold on a second.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'll just check and make sure the sound's coming out of my ear pods.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so I'm taking the food up the stairs and there's so sodas, right?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: And and the stup Okay, listen.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'm gonna breathe.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna breathe.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_02: Lord Jesus, I'm gonna breathe.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: Alright?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: Let's do this.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_02: I got this.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: I was walking up the stairs and I fell.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: Now let me tell you why I fell.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: I fell because I tried to catch the sodas as they were falling.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_02: The sodas fell first before I fell.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_02: The sodas, although being large sodas, were inside of a uh one of those carrying, you know, those like uh drink carriers, but they're like the ones with no walls.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: The drink carriers should have walls.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: This one has no walls, and the and the drinks, they sit in there so loose.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they're in there so loose, and those holes are so big.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: Those drink carrier holes are too big.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: Pissing me the frick off, right?
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: So I saw them start wobbling, and so I tried to pull them closer, a little bit closer to my chest, a little closer to my core, if you will.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: And then one fell out, and I tried to get it and catch it, but I fell over trying to catch it, and I still didn't catch it, and then it broke and it went everywhere, and now there's freaking Dr.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper everywhere.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: There's Dr.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper at that person's apartment, there's Dr.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper at that person's on the all over the that person's stairs.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: There's Dr.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper now because I took the cup and I told them I'd go get them a new one.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: There's Dr.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper freaking all in my car.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: There's Dr.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper everywhere, okay?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: Now listen, this might not be a big deal because some people might just say, oh, just clean it up.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: I was literally just talking about how I wanted the soda so bad, and there's Dr.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper everywhere, and I can't even drink it.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: Why does it have to be Dr.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: Why couldn't I have spilled the Baja Blast?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: Gosh! Oh god! Why couldn't it be in the Baja Blast?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be okay.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going back.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: You guys are coming with me.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_02: We're going back to Taco Bell.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna make this right for Tanya.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: This is not how I work, okay?
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: I just got a brand new job for a reason.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: This is not how I work.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: We don't do things like this.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: We don't do things like this.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: We do not let customers eat their food without drinks.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: We are going immediately back.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna make a six-minute round trip, and we're gonna get the frick back to Tanya with a brand new Dr.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: Pepper.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_02: Frick Doc Obell! Frick Doc Obell! That's why we don't want to eat there.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's not because of the lettuce, it's because of their stupid, freaking wallless, freaking no immigration policy, freaking soda carriers, that's why.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: Build the wall! Build the soda carrier walls, frick you TV.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna need some freaking napkins.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'll tell ya.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna need some freaking napkins.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, uh yeah.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: Uh alright, give me a minute.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: Let me get this, let me get this cleaned up and I'll I'll freaking uh I'll jump back on when uh when I'm on my way to Tanya's.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: Give me a second.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, I'm back.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: We got a fresh DP and we're on our way back to Tanya's, okay?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: Now this is what I'm talking about, okay?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: This is real service.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: This is real service.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: This is what happens, okay?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: This is, look, I can I can put in Taco Bell all I want, but at the end of the day, I need to deliver soda safely from point A to point B.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: And when that doesn't happen, that's not on anyone else.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: That's not on anybody else, it's on me.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I gotta do it.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: I gotta do it good and I gotta do it right.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you guys for coming along on the journey.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Carmedians, fellow listeners, whether you're a lover, whether you're a hater, whether you're a gator, okay?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate you.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for being here with me.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: I still got a couple minutes left.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: I got three minutes left of this 30-minute app.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: Am I gonna get through it?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I hope so.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_02: I hope I'm gonna get through it.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_02: Ugh, okay.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm very excited.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'm very, very excited.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: This Thursday, I'm gonna be recording a podcast.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be episode one of the new pod.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what the name's gonna be still.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: We still don't know what the name's gonna be.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: I said that already, but you know what?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be fun.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be a fun episode, it's gonna be a fun show, and I'm excited.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm excited about it.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's one of those things, like it's like a new endeavor.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like when you get a new girlfriend, you're excited to freaking kiss for the first time.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: You're excited to Okay, I'm gonna relax.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, we're almost back to freaking Tanya's, okay?
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_02: We got this.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: We got this.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it pisses me off that if you order freaking pizzas at regular menu price, it's four times the amount than if you order them on special at Domino's.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: What the frick is that?
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's insane.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, hold on.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: Let me I gotta make sure I'm going the right way.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_02: What street is this?
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: Imagine I just like deliver to the wrong adjunct.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_02: I can't.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_02: No, I need to make this right for Tanya.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_02: You guys! My day will not be complete unless I make this right for Tanya.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, cool.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_02: I found the right street.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_02: I found it! Ladies and gents, I freaking f if I fall.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: You guys are gonna come all the way up to the door with me.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna go all the way.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_02: You guys are gonna join me.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna we're gonna go talk to Tanya.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna go talk to Tanya right now.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: If I drop this frickin' drink, I am gonna go ballistic haywire.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_02: Y'all, y'all dig.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_02: I am gonna go nuclear.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: Unlike I've ever gone on stage before.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely nuclear.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: You guys have zero zilchu idea how nuclear I'm about to go.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: If I drop this drink, look at freaking drink.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, just delivered the soda with Tanya.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_02: She uh wanted me to just leave it outside.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_02: She gave me an extra tip.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: She gave me extra money.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: She gave me extra money.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: Even though I dropped her soda and it took 12 minutes to get a new soda.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: She gave me an extra tip.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_02: You guys, I should have been dropping more sodas this whole time.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_02: I would be more rich and my family would be more well off if I had just been dropping sodas this whole freaking time.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_02: You guys, thank you so much for listening to the Carmody Podcast.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: My name is Dave Thompson.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, thank you so much for listening to episode 17, episode 17.5.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be out later this week.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: We'll see you then.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: Love you.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_02: Goodbye.