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Experience The Power Of Vulnerable Story Telling As Melinda Shares Tragic News · Speak In Flow

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  Melinda Lee: Welcome to the Speak In Flow podcast. Several
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  weeks ago, I released an episode called the power of
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  storytelling. And in that episode, we talked about the
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  framework for a compelling story, and how each piece is
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  essential to tell stories that are engaging. Today, we're going
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  to dive into vulnerabilities in your stories, and uncovering the
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  truth, like uncovering the uncomfortable truth. Because of
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  those complexities. those nuances are what makes stories
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  engaging and powerful. Because as leaders, we want to be seen
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  as inspiring, motivational, strong. So sometimes exposing
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  vulnerabilities in our stories can be uncomfortable, it can be
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  the unknown. And so we don't know quite yet how to balance
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  the both. And so that is what we're going to talk about today.
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  And the timing of today's episode is very relevant,
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  because I got a call today from a my best friend. And I'm going
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  to name her Sarah, just to keep things anonymous. Sara calls me
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  and says Melinda, I have bad news. And I had to pause, wait
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  for the news. She said, Rebecca just passed away. And I started
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  thinking, what about the daughter, she has an eight year
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  old daughter, Sara says, the eight year old daughter found
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  Rebecca debt. And my heart dropped to the pit of my
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  stomach. Because I also know that that daughter had just
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  experienced her father, six years ago, dying, because he got
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  hit by a truck on the freeway. And so I'm already starting to
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  tear up thinking about the daughter, how she has no
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  parents. And I'm sharing this story for several reasons.
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  Because A, we find healing and stories. And so thank you for
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  allowing me to share the story. Even if I just dropped this on
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  you. It has allowed me to heal. And as I was thinking about
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  where I wanted to share the story, some key elements that I
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  want to talk about today is important. They're all important
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  to consider. But before we get into those elements, I also want
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  to take a moment to to just send that daughter, some peace, take
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  a moment, to be in peace of silence for her. Thank you. And
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  the third reason why I share that story is just to feel
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  connected. In that moment that we all had together, we were
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  connected. As I was sharing that story, I hope you dropped into
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  some of the same sadness that I felt the same remorse, and, and
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  also concern for that daughter. And in that human connection, we
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  were together for just a moment, regardless of where you are in
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  the world, or what you may have been doing. In that moment, we
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  may have been connected through that sense, due to our feelings,
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  because our feelings are universal. That sense of sadness
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  and concern for that daughter, we were connected. And that is
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  the power of story as a power of storytelling, going into the
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  human connection. And as I was considering whether I wanted to
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  tell that story. There were three components had to really
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  think about relevance, authenticity, and boundaries,
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  right? Relevance. Is this story relevant to my audience, I
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  really had to think about that is a story about death. It's a
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  story about my friend dying. What does this have to do with
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  my audience? When you are considering your stories, making
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  it relevant is very important. Because time is of the essence,
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  right? People are doing so many different things. Are you
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  telling the story just to tell a story. There may be a time and
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  place to tell stories just for the sake of it. Maybe at a
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  party, you just jabbing away chipping away, and then you just
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  tell a story and have fun with it. And that's okay. But in a
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  professional setting as a leader, we want to tell relevant
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  stories and so selecting the ones that are relevant to your
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  audience, and most likely be think about their challenges.
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  And when you experience a similar challenge, that is a
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  connection. Those are relevant stories to tell So in my case,
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  I'm thinking, Well, talking about death. But as I thought
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  about it deeper, everyone has experienced death. And the
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  relevant part I made the connection to is that the human
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  connection is so important. And I want, I was hoping that you
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  could feel the human connection and how the power of story can
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  help us feel connected. And it drew you in. And so keeping your
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  story relevant to keeping an authentic, right, having a
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  genuine place, having your story be genuine, having the story be
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  real, that is what's going to resonate with your audience. And
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  for me, that was just happened today, it was as authentic as I
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  can be. And then that leads us to the third element of
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  boundaries. As I mentioned, as a leader, we all want to be seen
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  as strong confidence and going into vulnerabilities.
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  uncomfortable places, where do you draw the line? Right?
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  Because we may then be seen as weak when we're too vulnerable.
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  So how do you know how much vulnerability to share? When
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  you're considering the story you're about to tell? Ask
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  yourself first? How much emotion do I have in the story? And what
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  kind of emotion is it? If you're still angry about that story, or
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  that experience, how much anger do you have? If it's really
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  intense, and, and you might start seeing things that are
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  private or sensitive, then I invite you to just wait a bit
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  until you the emotion have decreased or has dissolved a bit
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  or you let them go, and some time to process out the emotion
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  because sometimes when you're highly charged with so much
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  emotion, you don't know how much information to disclose or not.
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  Sometimes you might be just venting out to your audience.
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  And you have to really think Is that who you want to be is that
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  the type of person you want to show up or the leader that you
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  want to show up as, and so really consider waiting, if
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  you're highly charged, if the emotion is anger, and you're you
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  may be concerned that you're going to say things that you
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  don't want to. So just wait a bit, doesn't mean you don't tell
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  the story. But wait until you know exactly what details to
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  share and not. And so then thinking about when you have
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  that story that is vulnerable, and you're okay with sharing
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  those details, you're comfortable sharing those
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  details and go all in, right go to the emotion. And because that
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  the emotion is what's going to connect you to the audience.
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  That's what's going to draw them in, when you can feel what you
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  have thought at that time, and go to that place and allow
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  people to also go there with you. That is what makes an
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  engaging story. That's what makes it powerful. And don't be
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  afraid to tell the stories that are complex, that are new ones
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  that are uncomfortable. That is what people need to hear,
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  because those are the stories that where we find gold. If we
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  stay in inspiration and what we have done and what we have
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  already accomplished. You're forgetting the nuance places the
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  uncomfortable places where we did search for answers where we
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  did search for meaning where we tried to search for purpose and
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  solutions, and we can't, but that is where we when we stay
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  there we can find it.
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  So today, I share the three elements to consider as a leader
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  on and telling vulnerable stories. The first one is
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  relevance, keeping it relevant to your audience. Second is
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  authenticity, keeping it authentic, telling genuine
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  stories that resonate with your audience. And third, knowing
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  your boundaries, how much you are really comfortable to share.
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  By considering those three elements. You're going to craft
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  stories that truly inspire. You're going to have stories
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  that lean into the discomfort that will lean into the
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  uncomfortable places, the provocative places that people
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  need to hear people are wanting to hear, because that is where
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  we connect. And by going to these places, we're going to
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  uncover the truth of humans the truth of who we are. And that is
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  what brings us together. And when you can go there you can be
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  and you can foster others to be to choose challenge them to be
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  better to do better and live in a world where all stories matter
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  and our voice matters to help us create a world of positive
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  change