Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 101. Natalie Kuhn: Vice President of Programming & Founding Teacher at The Class

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101. Natalie Kuhn: Vice President of Programming & Founding Teacher at The Class · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: How does a muscle strengthen because you give it something
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Speaker 1: to push up against? How does your will strengthen because
0:07
Speaker 1: you give it something to push up against? And that's
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Speaker 1: what we are collectively globally involved in right now, we
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Speaker 1: are being pressed up against.
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Speaker 2: Hello, Hurdlers, Emily a Body bringing you Episode one hundred
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Speaker 2: and one of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I
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Speaker 2: sit down with inspiring individuals to talk about everything up
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Speaker 2: from their big wins to how they've gotten through some
0:43
Speaker 2: of life's toughest moments. On the show, you can expect vulnerability, motivation,
0:49
Speaker 2: and candid discussions with everyone from top athletes to aspiring
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Speaker 2: entrepreneurs and what it really takes to follow your passions.
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Speaker 2: My mission is simple to inspire you to be your
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Speaker 2: best self, move with intention, and have some fun along
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Speaker 2: the way. Today, I am bringing you a conversation with
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Speaker 2: someone that has been a guiding light for me through
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Speaker 2: this time. Her name is Natalie Kune. She's the vice
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Speaker 2: president of programming at the class, which I would say
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Speaker 2: is a workout that is deeply spiritual. Started here in
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Speaker 2: New York and Tribeca. Now the class is also in
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Speaker 2: Los Angeles and Vancouver, but I personally have been leaning
1:33
Speaker 2: into it from a yoga mat in my kitchen. Because
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Speaker 2: I live in and fourth floor New York City apartment.
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Speaker 2: It's hard to explain exactly what goes on in the class,
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Speaker 2: but what I will tell you is that I have
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Speaker 2: cried more times than I can count, drenched in sweat
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Speaker 2: in this class. It's the way that the instructors have
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Speaker 2: with words. It just stirs up this emotion, this ownership
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Speaker 2: over what is this feeling that it's okay to let
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Speaker 2: go and man, right now, I think we could all
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Speaker 2: use to let go just a little bit. I was
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Speaker 2: taking Natalie's class last week and she said something that
2:12
Speaker 2: really stuck with me, which is why I asked her
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Speaker 2: to share her story and come on the podcast. She
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Speaker 2: said that things can be both. They can be hard
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Speaker 2: and you can do them, and man, everything right now
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Speaker 2: it feels hard, but there is a little bit of
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Speaker 2: comfort knowing that yes, we can get through this, and
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Speaker 2: yes we will. As for Natalie in today's episode, she
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Speaker 2: shares a lot. I found myself nodding my head time
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Speaker 2: and time again, agreeing with her sentiments and also holding
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Speaker 2: my heart as she opened up about some really tough stuff.
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Speaker 2: She talks about what it was like to unexpectedly lose
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Speaker 2: her mother not all that long ago. She talks about
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Speaker 2: getting divorced. She talks about going to therapy and speaking
3:03
Speaker 2: with an intimacy coach. I learn what an intimacy coach is.
3:07
Speaker 2: We talk a lot about how to handle this new
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Speaker 2: and I'll use air quotes here normal how to manage
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Speaker 2: our emotions. The conversation it made me feel super hard
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Speaker 2: and I just I really hope you appreciate it before
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Speaker 2: I am an active person right now. Movement is my
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3:38
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6:02
Speaker 2: drill at Emily a Body at Hurdle podcast. If you
6:05
Speaker 2: have a hurdle moment of your own to share, you
6:08
Speaker 2: just want to say hi, you just need someone to
6:11
Speaker 2: talk to. My email is Emily at Hurdle dot us. Now,
6:15
Speaker 2: more than ever, I can't say this enough. We're all
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Speaker 2: under a lot of stress. We're dealing with a lot
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Speaker 2: of anxiety, and it is so important to talk openly,
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Speaker 2: to share and to understand that even if you are
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Speaker 2: listening to this alone right now, as I'm in my
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Speaker 2: apartment alone. Right now you are not alone, and now
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Speaker 2: I can't wait to bring you my conversation with Natalie.
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Speaker 2: With that, let's get to hurdling. Today, I am sitting
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Speaker 2: down with Natalie Kune. She is the vice president of
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Speaker 2: programming and founding teacher at the class. Hello.
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Speaker 1: Hello, and.
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Speaker 2: How are you feeling today?
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Speaker 1: Nat Oh gosh, I feel well. It's almost like these times,
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Speaker 1: So maybe I could just give a little context. It's
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Speaker 1: March twenty fourth, twenty twenty, which essentially means that we're
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Speaker 1: deep in the time of Corona. And so my answer
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Speaker 1: to that, Emily is that it's more like, how am
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Speaker 1: I feeling this hour? Because that's how frequently it changes.
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Speaker 2: You know for sure, I really do. I want to
7:31
Speaker 2: kick off this recording by sharing something you wrote on
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Speaker 2: your Instagram that really impacted me. Yesterday you wrote, dear Hope,
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Speaker 2: we don't know each other yet, but if one more
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Speaker 2: person tells me that we'll get along, great, I'm just
7:51
Speaker 2: going to scream. I know you've got a lot of
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Speaker 2: friends you, faith and Grace are quite the posse. But
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Speaker 2: maybe if I were room at the lunch table, could
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Speaker 2: I sit with you one day? I know you're nice
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Speaker 2: to everyone. I don't want to see if you're just
8:07
Speaker 2: being nice. I actually want to talk to you about something.
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Speaker 2: I just love what you're all about. I love your mission.
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Speaker 2: So what I'm trying to say is if I can
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Speaker 2: be of service to you, hope, I'd love to join
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Speaker 2: your team. And don't say anything, but I just can't
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Speaker 2: sit next to despair anymore. Fingers crossed, Natalie.
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Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much for reading that.
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Speaker 2: Of course, talk to me about that.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. On Saturday Saturday night, Kevin Courtney, who's my boyfriend.
8:43
Speaker 1: He and I were we were supposed to have been
8:46
Speaker 1: wrapping up an event in London with Taren, and of course,
8:50
Speaker 1: in the time of COVID we were obviously that whole
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Speaker 1: thing got canceled. So we were in our apartment and
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Speaker 1: we were both in a creative space and I got
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Speaker 1: into this flow of writing letters to all that is.
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Speaker 1: And I'd had this idea for quite some time. I
9:10
Speaker 1: wrote a series of thank you letters to things that
9:12
Speaker 1: you would never consider gratitude for, things like death and
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Speaker 1: earth and disappointment. And Saturday night, this space inside my
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Speaker 1: own heart, I guess, kind of opened and I started
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Speaker 1: writing letters as if each emotion were personified. So the
9:34
Speaker 1: first one that came out of myself was certainty and
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Speaker 1: I haven't shared that one yet, and its sister was uncertainty,
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Speaker 1: and then right after that was hope. I think we're
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Speaker 1: in this moment where hope feels far off in the distance.
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Speaker 1: We used to know it. We're trying to come to
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Speaker 1: know it again. But it's almost like we need Hope
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Speaker 1: to invite us in right now, you know, because it's
10:03
Speaker 1: like the cool girl who you just you're not quite
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Speaker 1: sure if you belong with. And I think that's a
10:11
Speaker 1: you know, that's like a it's the effects of the
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Speaker 1: news changing every day, and it's the effects of you know,
10:21
Speaker 1: refreshing the New York Times every day. And so my
10:25
Speaker 1: creative outlet is to create this series that's called an
10:29
Speaker 1: Open Letter too, And I'm hoping that one day it
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Speaker 1: can become a book and a gallery space and an
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Speaker 1: interactive place where people can write their own letters. But
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Speaker 1: for now it's my outlet. I think we all have
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Speaker 1: a very complicated relationship to Hope right now.
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Speaker 2: I dig it and I totally feel the same way.
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Speaker 2: I think it would be important just for us to
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Speaker 2: get on the same page if you could explain to
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Speaker 2: the listener what is the class.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, the class in its pitheous sense is spiritual fitness.
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Speaker 1: So athletically it looks like jumping jacks and a couple
11:07
Speaker 1: of burpees and some strength training basically calisthenics and plyometrics.
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Speaker 1: But the purpose is not for shedding calories and getting ripped.
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Speaker 1: It's kind of a byproduct that that happens. The primary
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Speaker 1: reason is that we're using the body as the container
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Speaker 1: to understand our relationship, to challenge and move the energy
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Speaker 1: that creates thought that then birds feeling and when we're grappling.
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Speaker 1: You know, prior to COVID, we were grappling with our
11:41
Speaker 1: relationship to career and relationship to self, and relationship to
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Speaker 1: partnership or family or kids right family, And now we're
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Speaker 1: in this collective global relationship to this virus. So the classes,
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Speaker 1: it's become a very beautiful tool through our live streaming.
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Speaker 1: I'm so grateful we started that up in January where
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Speaker 1: we can all come together from all parts of the
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Speaker 1: world and practice our own relationship to adversity. And it's
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Speaker 1: not just like practice for practice sake', it's practicing to
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Speaker 1: actually move the feeling of panic and the feeling of anger,
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Speaker 1: and the feeling of worry and stress and frustration and overwhelm.
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Speaker 1: That is so that's so blanketed our globe right now. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: And then you know where if that's the universal aspect
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Speaker 1: that binds us all together underneath that is a thought,
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Speaker 1: a core belief, and that's you know, unique to us
12:51
Speaker 1: all where that thought came from. But if I were
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Speaker 1: to synthesize the thought that I feel as I'm teaching,
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Speaker 1: and the thought that I can sense in the ethers
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Speaker 1: when I feel hundreds of people practicing along with me,
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Speaker 1: it's that sense of this wasn't supposed to happen, or
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Speaker 1: I want it to be different, you know. And it's
13:14
Speaker 1: really in wanting it to be different that we suffer.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, when you're not accepting what is and just hoping
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Speaker 2: for what is not.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And we could spend a lot of mental energy
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Speaker 1: and a lot of emotional energy in the disappointment that
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Speaker 1: this is our reality. And we could spend a lot
13:32
Speaker 1: of that energy on shaming and blaming our circumstances for
13:37
Speaker 1: not being what we wanted them to be. And believe me,
13:40
Speaker 1: I'm not immune to this. I have definitely spent many
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Speaker 1: an hour in the last ten days railing on the
13:50
Speaker 1: world for turning upside down. And I'm grateful that I
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Speaker 1: have the platform of the class to teach, and also
13:56
Speaker 1: the platform the class to take class when I need
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Speaker 1: it to support the shift that thought process and that
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Speaker 1: feeling process, one that's really based in woe and fear,
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Speaker 1: and using my body and using my awareness and my
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Speaker 1: consciousness to come into a place of stability and ground,
14:21
Speaker 1: and recognizing that the only way to get through this
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Speaker 1: is to bear witness to my reality.
14:29
Speaker 2: I'm going to be honest with you about my first
14:33
Speaker 2: experience at the class Go for It. It was about
14:39
Speaker 2: four years ago. Now, maybe I had heard of the class.
14:44
Speaker 2: My coworkers had gone to the class at the time.
14:49
Speaker 2: I believe I was either still working at Self Magazine
14:53
Speaker 2: or I had recently departed from Self Magazine and a
14:58
Speaker 2: guy that I thought was cute who was also in
15:01
Speaker 2: the industry, asked me if I had ever been to
15:04
Speaker 2: the class, and I said no, and we agreed to
15:08
Speaker 2: go take the class together. So I go to the
15:14
Speaker 2: class for that first time. He stands me up, doesn't
15:19
Speaker 2: come ooh, doesn't let me know what's going on. I
15:22
Speaker 2: proceed to take the class, and in that hour long
15:27
Speaker 2: period of my life, I was so thankful that he
15:30
Speaker 2: didn't show.
15:30
Speaker 1: Up so nice.
15:34
Speaker 2: I remember that first class thinking what is this? And
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Speaker 2: the kicker here is that we did end up going
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Speaker 2: to the class together, and I remember kind of feeling
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Speaker 2: like I had this secret in my pocket that I
15:49
Speaker 2: wasn't telling him what he was about to get into,
15:51
Speaker 2: but I wanted to see how he reacted afterward and
15:55
Speaker 2: to be there for some reaction. Yes, oh it was
15:59
Speaker 2: pretty Yeah, it was pretty impressive that man became my
16:03
Speaker 2: boyfriend verbict, but that is no longer. No longer.
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Speaker 1: But you kept going, you kept practicing.
16:11
Speaker 2: I kept practicing, I think right now, and this is
16:14
Speaker 2: kind of what brought us to this conversation and why
16:16
Speaker 2: I wanted to bring you to the podcast, is that
16:19
Speaker 2: I am certainly finding healing by taking the class. And
16:24
Speaker 2: the other day when I was taking a class that
16:27
Speaker 2: you were instructing, it just kind of hit me and
16:30
Speaker 2: it brought me back to a moment when I had
16:33
Speaker 2: taught my final class. I used to teach spin and
16:37
Speaker 2: I remember that one of the writers, as I walked
16:40
Speaker 2: out of the studio, they said to me, I wish
16:42
Speaker 2: that I could bottle up the things that you were
16:45
Speaker 2: saying to me on that bike and I could carry
16:48
Speaker 2: them around with me and listen to them when I
16:50
Speaker 2: wanted to. And when I was taking your class the
16:53
Speaker 2: other morning, I had this moment where I thought to myself, like,
16:57
Speaker 2: I want to share you with as.
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Speaker 1: Many people as I Oh, Emily, thank you. That really
17:02
Speaker 1: warms my heart. I so appreciate that, and I wish
17:05
Speaker 1: to God I could rewind time to take your classes.
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Speaker 1: So thank you.
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Speaker 2: You're sweet. So tell me a little bit about where
17:13
Speaker 2: you grew up, because you didn't just roll into that
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Speaker 2: Tribeca studio fresh out of the womb.
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Speaker 1: So where are you from?
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Speaker 2: And have you always had a vested interest in movement
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Speaker 2: like this great question.
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Speaker 1: I'm from La you know I was. My mother was
17:30
Speaker 1: an ex nun who left the nunnery because she knew
17:34
Speaker 1: she wanted to find and create a family for herself.
17:38
Speaker 1: And my dad is a doctor and right now, you know,
17:42
Speaker 1: for the sake of this conversation, it's actually interesting to
17:46
Speaker 1: note that he's a pulmonologist in the ICU, So of
17:51
Speaker 1: course that's ground zero for where COVID nineteen patients wind up.
17:56
Speaker 1: So he's a doctor. And growing up in La I
18:01
Speaker 1: was either going to learn about spirituality through the body
18:05
Speaker 1: or I was going to learn about the body through spirituality,
18:07
Speaker 1: and it was very much a part of my childhood
18:11
Speaker 1: both things. In college, I studied theater and I studied
18:15
Speaker 1: movement modalities that were about finding changing, and shifting emotion
18:20
Speaker 1: in the body as it pertained to character development. And
18:23
Speaker 1: then I was an actor and a dancer. I used
18:27
Speaker 1: to dance for rock bands in my twenties, and in
18:32
Speaker 1: between gigs, I used to bartend and then decided to
18:36
Speaker 1: clean up my act a little bit. Too many bike
18:40
Speaker 1: rides home and dawn wasted on whiskey. So I ended
18:46
Speaker 1: up finding a job at Lululemon, and that's where I
18:49
Speaker 1: met Tarn because she used to come in and say
18:52
Speaker 1: hello and buy pair pants and she was just sort
18:55
Speaker 1: of in the neighborhood and we hit it off, and
18:57
Speaker 1: she was doing this thing in the gym of her
19:00
Speaker 1: apartment building and it would later become called the class.
19:04
Speaker 1: So at the time, I put twenty bucks in her
19:08
Speaker 1: kid's trick or treat basket. It went to her mentor
19:12
Speaker 1: in Peru, and after my second class, she was like,
19:15
Speaker 1: you know, Nat, have you thought about teaching? And I said,
19:18
Speaker 1: you know what, I've really been wanting to teach something.
19:22
Speaker 1: So she's really intuitive and I'm pretty organized. So I
19:27
Speaker 1: took it upon myself to say, look, if you let
19:31
Speaker 1: me take your class, I'll set your class up, i'll
19:33
Speaker 1: break it down and on Sundays, I'll teach my friends
19:36
Speaker 1: for free. And she said yes, and basically a website.
19:42
Speaker 1: You know, she created a website. I remember the day
19:45
Speaker 1: she came in and was like, I think I'm going
19:47
Speaker 1: to call it the class. And then that was in
19:51
Speaker 1: twenty thirteen, and it was just the two of us
19:56
Speaker 1: on the back end for about two and a half years.
19:58
Speaker 1: Jac was the third teacher for about two and a
20:01
Speaker 1: half years. In twenty sixteen we started to grow the
20:04
Speaker 1: company and now we're in La Vancouver, New York and
20:11
Speaker 1: praise be to Jesus a la Buddha on high. We've
20:16
Speaker 1: got this live streaming platform since January. So that's sort
20:22
Speaker 1: of the quick or maybe long, depending on how you
20:25
Speaker 1: see it, version of how I got here.
20:28
Speaker 2: Firstly, you did talk about how it really is a
20:33
Speaker 2: spiritual practice. Why don't you tell me set the scene
20:38
Speaker 2: for what a class could quote unquote look like, whether
20:42
Speaker 2: you're digitally streaming it or if you're in the actual studio.
20:46
Speaker 1: You got it. So essentially what happens is, let's just
20:50
Speaker 1: take the first movement. The first movement is the instructor
20:54
Speaker 1: will put on some loud music, some artfully curated songs
20:59
Speaker 1: that we use both for the physical journey but also
21:03
Speaker 1: the emotional one, and the instructor will guide you into squats, right.
21:07
Speaker 1: And so maybe the first thirty seconds you're like, okay, yeah,
21:11
Speaker 1: I got this. Squat's done this before, and then maybe
21:15
Speaker 1: a minute into it, your mind starts to pipe in
21:18
Speaker 1: and it was like, wait a second, the song isn't
21:23
Speaker 1: over and we're still squatting. And then the mind starts
21:27
Speaker 1: to solve the problem for your body starting to tire right,
21:33
Speaker 1: and the body is starting to acknowledge the challenge that
21:37
Speaker 1: the song isn't over and you're still being asked to
21:39
Speaker 1: do this repetitive movement, and now the instructor is guiding
21:43
Speaker 1: you to witness your thought, Oh my gosh, I don't
21:46
Speaker 1: know if I can do this, or I wish it
21:49
Speaker 1: was harder, I wish it was easier. There's too many
21:52
Speaker 1: people in the room, there's not enough people in the
21:54
Speaker 1: room and the mind starts to fixate on solving. And
22:00
Speaker 1: we all have our own unique brand of how we
22:03
Speaker 1: try to solve for difficulty. So the instructor is now
22:07
Speaker 1: basically asking you to notice your thoughts as opposed to
22:11
Speaker 1: merge with them. And I think your listeners are probably
22:15
Speaker 1: very well versed in this, but I would say for
22:17
Speaker 1: anybody who's new to mindfulness, the real pillar of mindfulness
22:22
Speaker 1: is the discernment between you merging with your thought meaning
22:29
Speaker 1: I am frustrated and separating yourself and witnessing you having
22:35
Speaker 1: a thought which would be I notice that the feeling
22:39
Speaker 1: that's arising is frustration. That's how we begin, and then
22:43
Speaker 1: from there it really depends on the texture and color
22:47
Speaker 1: and teaching angle of the teacher.
22:51
Speaker 2: Of course, So when you went to start teaching this
22:56
Speaker 2: unique method, to say the least, talk to me about
23:00
Speaker 2: what that transition was like and how you started to
23:03
Speaker 2: find yourself and get to know yourself better through that practice.
23:07
Speaker 1: Well, the beginning, you know, it didn't look like this.
23:09
Speaker 1: It looked like one movement for one song when we
23:13
Speaker 1: first began in twenty thirteen, And that's true. And then
23:17
Speaker 1: over the course of time, Taran was really developing ways
23:21
Speaker 1: to keep people motivated and like climbing up that mountain.
23:26
Speaker 1: And then Taran and I both went through incredible difficulty
23:31
Speaker 1: in our personal lives as we were working together in
23:34
Speaker 1: this literally side by side at a desk in her
23:39
Speaker 1: you know, spare bedroom in her apartment, and as we
23:43
Speaker 1: were going through these incredibly painful personal experiences, that the
23:47
Speaker 1: class ended up becoming medicinal for us. And that's how
23:51
Speaker 1: the work really deepened. My own personal experience is that
23:55
Speaker 1: on February twentieth or twenty first, I taught my first
23:58
Speaker 1: public class, which was in a kid's dance studio on
24:00
Speaker 1: the third floor of like a random building in New York.
24:04
Speaker 1: Were like kids barbies falling off of the changing room
24:08
Speaker 1: and you know, it was all very DIY. And three
24:12
Speaker 1: days later, on February twenty fourth, twenty fourteen, my mom just,
24:18
Speaker 1: I'm going to be crass because it was a cross experience.
24:22
Speaker 1: She just dropped dead. Truly. You know, I wish I
24:26
Speaker 1: could say it more pleasantly like she passed away, but
24:31
Speaker 1: she was in our home, in her bedroom, and she
24:36
Speaker 1: there was no hospital visit, there was no sickness. She
24:40
Speaker 1: just got seventy years old just passed away. And you know,
24:48
Speaker 1: it's one of those moments where you don't ever think
24:52
Speaker 1: you are going to be the one to receive that
24:55
Speaker 1: cinematic phone call. You know, not at twenty seven. You're immortal.
25:01
Speaker 1: Your life is plotted before you. You don't you know
25:04
Speaker 1: what I mean, You don't know that. Nobody foresees that.
25:10
Speaker 1: So that, you know, brought me and my family to
25:13
Speaker 1: my knees and to our knees. And I spent two
25:17
Speaker 1: weeks with my family and I came back to New
25:19
Speaker 1: York and Taren said, you know what, what if you
25:24
Speaker 1: got back on the mat. You know, she did not
25:27
Speaker 1: want to force me at all. She was so empathetic
25:30
Speaker 1: and loving and supportive and truly a sister for me
25:33
Speaker 1: in those moments. One of the first people that called
25:36
Speaker 1: me when I got the news, and I said, yeah,
25:42
Speaker 1: let's let's do it. And that was the turning point
25:46
Speaker 1: for me when the class was no longer about fitness,
25:50
Speaker 1: but the class was about a skill set and a
25:55
Speaker 1: tool and a practice that would help me move through
26:00
Speaker 1: my life the ups and downs. And it was where
26:07
Speaker 1: I processed a lot of what it is to experience
26:14
Speaker 1: a trauma a death, you know, a pitfall a well. So, yeah,
26:21
Speaker 1: the class means so much to me, and it's it's
26:24
Speaker 1: only continued to deepen as I've gotten older.
26:29
Speaker 2: So you start to teach, you go through this horrible,
26:34
Speaker 2: horrible incident in your personal life, shocking event, and then
26:40
Speaker 2: you get back on the mat and you seem to
26:43
Speaker 2: be able to find a little bit more of your way.
26:46
Speaker 2: It's like as if the practice is a light for you,
26:50
Speaker 2: guiding you to what's next. And in this scenario, in
26:55
Speaker 2: these set of circumstances, did you expect that this would
26:59
Speaker 2: kind of be a full time thing for you?
27:01
Speaker 1: At twenty seven, I was really looking to make a shift.
27:07
Speaker 1: I knew that the lifestyle of a performer was no
27:11
Speaker 1: longer for me. The expression of a performer, of that
27:16
Speaker 1: emotional outlet was key for me, but I was really
27:22
Speaker 1: looking to shed the costume. I did everything when I
27:26
Speaker 1: met Taran Was. I would work for her in the morning,
27:30
Speaker 1: and then I would go to Lululemon and work a
27:32
Speaker 1: six hour shift, and then I would go to my
27:34
Speaker 1: off Broadway show at the Mint and I would perform
27:37
Speaker 1: until eleven o'clock at night, and I would wake up
27:40
Speaker 1: and get to Tribeca at eight o'clock. So I was
27:43
Speaker 1: doing three jobs, juggling at all until I figured out
27:48
Speaker 1: what it is I wanted. It wasn't clear in the
27:52
Speaker 1: outset of meeting Taran. It was clear that I loved
27:55
Speaker 1: her and that I was into what she was doing,
27:58
Speaker 1: but it took me a couple of months to just side,
28:00
Speaker 1: is this where I'm going to put all of my
28:03
Speaker 1: eggs uh in this basket? And then I did. And
28:07
Speaker 1: basically the class now is I'm the VP of programming,
28:10
Speaker 1: which means that I run everything where the class is
28:14
Speaker 1: found outside of a regular schedule, and I'm a founding teacher.
28:20
Speaker 1: And so what that's really done for me is that
28:22
Speaker 1: that creative, expressive outlet is used through the platform of teaching,
28:28
Speaker 1: and then my very analytic, intellectual, you know, prefrontal cortex
28:34
Speaker 1: executive functioning is satisfied by the other part of my job,
28:38
Speaker 1: which has a lot to do with spreadsheets. So I
28:41
Speaker 1: feel lucky that I was almost able to craft the
28:45
Speaker 1: job of my dreams. And I think Taran and I
28:48
Speaker 1: did that really intentionally.
28:49
Speaker 2: It's hard to it's hard to articulate this, but I
28:52
Speaker 2: think so often, you know, we hear this piece of advice,
28:55
Speaker 2: which is, keep working until you've found that thing you
29:00
Speaker 2: know makes you excited, until you can find this job
29:03
Speaker 2: that literally gives you butterflies, and you know, that piece
29:07
Speaker 2: of wisdom is all wonderful, But it doesn't really happen
29:11
Speaker 2: like that for everyone.
29:13
Speaker 1: I think the plague amongst our generation, which I'm at
29:17
Speaker 1: the cusp of the millennial generation, is that there's this
29:22
Speaker 1: search for happiness in our job, and I don't know
29:29
Speaker 1: that that's ever what I aspire to. I would say
29:34
Speaker 1: my search has been for purpose, and that feels much
29:40
Speaker 1: more deeply rooted for me. And there's been plenty of
29:44
Speaker 1: times in the last seven years where I haven't been happy,
29:49
Speaker 1: but I've been grounded in a deeper, deeper sense of fulfillment.
29:54
Speaker 1: And it's because I believe in the work that we're doing,
29:58
Speaker 1: and I believe that it important work. And so when
30:03
Speaker 1: I've had to whatever, you know, wipe down numerous sweaty
30:08
Speaker 1: maths of strangers, or stay you know, you know, work
30:13
Speaker 1: through the weekend, or work late nights, or you know,
30:17
Speaker 1: make certain sacrifices, I may not have been happy about it,
30:23
Speaker 1: but it was doing it. It does something more meaningful
30:28
Speaker 1: because there's sort of this mission behind my vocation.
30:32
Speaker 2: Talk to me a little bit about living a life
30:36
Speaker 2: in service, because I think that's something that we don't
30:41
Speaker 2: always highlight about. You know, someone who does a job
30:45
Speaker 2: like yours, so much of what you are doing is
30:48
Speaker 2: giving so much of yourself and what you have to
30:51
Speaker 2: offer to other people. So I would imagine, especially after
30:56
Speaker 2: going through what you went through with the loss of
30:58
Speaker 2: your mother, that there may have been times where you
31:02
Speaker 2: just kind of felt emotionally.
31:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. Well, I what I hear in your
31:08
Speaker 1: question is sort of twofold that first part of your question.
31:11
Speaker 1: I would say that I don't think it's necessary for
31:14
Speaker 1: everybody to be of service in the way that that
31:18
Speaker 1: you know, I am or whatever. If your personality and
31:21
Speaker 1: your gifts and your skill set align with accounting, then
31:27
Speaker 1: that is your service. And it may not look like leading,
31:32
Speaker 1: you know, people through an emotional journey, but there is
31:35
Speaker 1: a service you are providing to give ease to somebody else,
31:38
Speaker 1: you know, to streamline somebody else's life. And I think
31:43
Speaker 1: so I want to open up that definition of service
31:46
Speaker 1: because I think all professions are doing something for that's
31:52
Speaker 1: part of something else, something bigger. Right with that being said, yeah,
31:56
Speaker 1: oh my God. Of course, There's been times where I
31:59
Speaker 1: wake up and I think, how the hell am I
32:02
Speaker 1: going to show up for other people when I'm having
32:04
Speaker 1: a hard time showing up for myself. And I think
32:09
Speaker 1: it's because my personality and my skill set and my
32:16
Speaker 1: gifts align in such a way where I draw energy
32:23
Speaker 1: from being with people. I'm really an extrovert in that way,
32:26
Speaker 1: and when I have been flattened by life, I use
32:32
Speaker 1: the class to really talk to myself, you know, and
32:36
Speaker 1: teach myself from that macro level. So what you're getting
32:39
Speaker 1: is sort of the general guidance of the greater you know,
32:44
Speaker 1: human conflict. But what's happening in my own self and
32:48
Speaker 1: in my own heart is me allowing my higher self
32:52
Speaker 1: to take the reins and take the mic and basically
32:55
Speaker 1: say nat like say which you need to hear today.
32:59
Speaker 1: And quite often, I would say ninety nine percent of
33:02
Speaker 1: the time, somebody will say, God, I felt like you
33:05
Speaker 1: were talking to me. And that's really where we are all,
33:09
Speaker 1: won right, That's really where we are all in this
33:11
Speaker 1: shared experience of moving through this thing called life.
33:15
Speaker 2: Of course, And I mean it has been some time
33:18
Speaker 2: since the loss of your mother, in twenty fourteen, and
33:21
Speaker 2: I'm sure that you have come across many hurdles since
33:26
Speaker 2: then that have made it a little hard to show
33:30
Speaker 2: up in those tough days. But alas you still have.
33:34
Speaker 2: When you think about the past few years, is there
33:38
Speaker 2: anything that stands out to you?
33:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, in two thousand and eighteen, I was
33:45
Speaker 1: living in LA with my former husband and we went
33:51
Speaker 1: through a tough time where we were trying to figure
33:54
Speaker 1: out our the dynamics of our relationship, and I had
33:58
Speaker 1: the calling to move back to New York to expand
34:01
Speaker 1: the business where we were and what our goals and
34:04
Speaker 1: plans were at the time, and so we started couples therapy,
34:10
Speaker 1: and we started to do couple therapy over zoom or
34:14
Speaker 1: over FaceTime or you know, what have you. And basically,
34:17
Speaker 1: over the course of twenty eighteen, it was like the
34:20
Speaker 1: year of our marriage unraveling and we ultimately got a divorce.
34:26
Speaker 1: It's similar to twenty fourteen in that they're both deaths.
34:32
Speaker 1: One is this, you know, my mother's death was the
34:36
Speaker 1: physical body, the physical plane leaving this earth, and then
34:40
Speaker 1: my relationship ending to my former husband was very much
34:46
Speaker 1: like an emotional grieving and you know, I think I again,
34:55
Speaker 1: just as we were talking about earlier, we all have
34:57
Speaker 1: these expectations for our lives, and when you get married,
34:59
Speaker 1: you don't ever dream that you'll get divorced. And so
35:04
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen was a really big year for me in
35:06
Speaker 1: terms of coming face to face with truth about myself,
35:11
Speaker 1: truths about the dynamics in our relationship. You know. I
35:14
Speaker 1: think where I started was confronting him with how I
35:19
Speaker 1: felt there were all these wrongdoings or shortcomings, and ultimately,
35:24
Speaker 1: by the end of the year, what I realized was
35:26
Speaker 1: so many of those shortcomings were on my side of things,
35:29
Speaker 1: and it was this deep process of holding myself accountable
35:33
Speaker 1: to where I wasn't showing it for the relationship in
35:36
Speaker 1: my best self. So in twenty nineteen it was a
35:39
Speaker 1: real reclamation of, you know, pulling myself back up off
35:43
Speaker 1: the ground. And I was still in therapy at the time.
35:48
Speaker 1: I fell in love again, and there was this, you know, renaissance.
35:53
Speaker 1: I look back at it, I call it my natissance.
35:57
Speaker 1: But yeah, a lot of painful, painful lessons and aggrieving
36:01
Speaker 1: for what's living.
36:02
Speaker 2: Actually, I mean that sounds so difficult. I think a
36:07
Speaker 2: question that I get asked often is how do you
36:10
Speaker 2: stay motivated when it literally just feels like everything is
36:14
Speaker 2: going wrong. It's a question that I know so many
36:17
Speaker 2: people are feeling and relating to at this moment. So
36:22
Speaker 2: during those hard times, aside from obviously your connection to
36:27
Speaker 2: movement and your connection to your spirit, what is it
36:32
Speaker 2: that you would tell yourself to get up on those
36:34
Speaker 2: hard days?
36:35
Speaker 1: Of course, the class is my my sort of my
36:39
Speaker 1: church where I go to find that place to pick
36:44
Speaker 1: myself off the ground. But if I were to dive
36:46
Speaker 1: into what it is about the class that is so
36:49
Speaker 1: useful for me personally, it's that when we're in times
36:53
Speaker 1: of overwhelm or obsession or neurosis or our own complexes,
37:00
Speaker 1: because we've been totally taken over by the feeling, or
37:04
Speaker 1: by the thought, or by the story of what's going on?
37:09
Speaker 1: Right and what the practice of consciousness or mindfulness or
37:13
Speaker 1: the class which are gong or yoga or meditation, what
37:16
Speaker 1: all of these have in common is that you're being
37:21
Speaker 1: asked to watch your heart go through these perturbations, these palpitations,
37:30
Speaker 1: as opposed to becoming the palpitation itself. So rather than
37:35
Speaker 1: being just completely steamrolled by the worri stress, beer, grief,
37:42
Speaker 1: there is an aspect of you that can separate distance,
37:46
Speaker 1: not in an disembodied way or a disassociated way, but
37:52
Speaker 1: from a witness perspective and say, Wow, my heart is
37:57
Speaker 1: going through the tumble in your right now. And if
38:03
Speaker 1: I can allow myself to let my heart go through
38:08
Speaker 1: those palpitations, perturbations, disturbances, I'll actually get through them much faster.
38:15
Speaker 1: It's when we try to hold back the heart from beating,
38:19
Speaker 1: as it is, that we prolong our own suffering.
38:24
Speaker 2: I'm just mari, I'm just I'm just marinating in this
38:27
Speaker 2: mic drop that you just the.
38:31
Speaker 3: Way that I heard it described, the way that I
38:33
Speaker 3: read it described by Michael Singer is he says, you know,
38:37
Speaker 3: a fish in water can swim, a fish.
38:41
Speaker 1: In ice is held in place, so meaning a fish
38:47
Speaker 1: in the free flowing emotion or flee free flowing thought
38:52
Speaker 1: is moving through it, right. But if the emotion or
38:57
Speaker 1: the thought or the story is held and gripped and
39:02
Speaker 1: in a place of stasis and static and obsession, right,
39:07
Speaker 1: then there's no movement of it. And that's really where
39:11
Speaker 1: we feel our nervous system expire, right. That's where we
39:15
Speaker 1: feel sickness come on. That's where we feel our body
39:19
Speaker 1: exhaust and that's also where we feel ourselves becoming the
39:23
Speaker 1: worst in front of the ones we love the most.
39:26
Speaker 2: And I think it takes time to come to these
39:29
Speaker 2: sorts of realizations. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes going through some
39:35
Speaker 2: of this hard stuff that you wouldn't wish upon anyone
39:40
Speaker 2: at any time. But what we can do in these
39:44
Speaker 2: times of adversity, in these undesirable moments, is understand that
39:51
Speaker 2: we have the opportunity to learn something from them, regardless
39:55
Speaker 2: of how difficult they might be.
39:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think something that I'm holding in my own
40:03
Speaker 1: heart and mind pretty astutely is that we don't grow
40:08
Speaker 1: from being in the comfort zone. You know, and you
40:12
Speaker 1: know this so well because of who you are and
40:14
Speaker 1: the nature of your podcast. If you listen to any athlete,
40:16
Speaker 1: they'll say the same thing. Does How does a muscle
40:20
Speaker 1: strengthen because you give it something to push up against?
40:24
Speaker 1: How does your will strengthen because you give it something
40:27
Speaker 1: to push up against? And that's what we are collectively
40:31
Speaker 1: globally involved in right now. We are being pressed up against.
40:36
Speaker 1: And so you know what the challenge is is to
40:40
Speaker 1: not despair upon despair. It's the challenge is Wow, I'm deeply,
40:46
Speaker 1: profoundly uncomfortable with my groundlessness right now? So what was
40:52
Speaker 1: it that I was so attached to? I was at
40:56
Speaker 1: touched to regularity. I was a touched to familiarity. I
40:59
Speaker 1: was attached to my schedule and the way that I
41:01
Speaker 1: get my coffee made at the local coffee shop who
41:04
Speaker 1: knows my name. And so when all of that is
41:07
Speaker 1: pulled out from underneath me, where is my ground And
41:12
Speaker 1: it comes back to your values and what matters to you.
41:17
Speaker 1: And ultimately that's a very personal, intimate journey.
41:24
Speaker 2: I think it's really important right now that we take
41:28
Speaker 2: the time to make some of these lists. Right whether
41:33
Speaker 2: it's in the middle of the night with a notepad
41:35
Speaker 2: by your bed, or if it's with conscious time come
41:38
Speaker 2: a Saturday afternoon for the upteenth hour inside of your home,
41:44
Speaker 2: but to take the time to sit down and really
41:46
Speaker 2: articulate the things that really matter, write down what are
41:51
Speaker 2: my values, what are the things that I want to prioritize,
41:54
Speaker 2: what are the things that I want to work on,
41:57
Speaker 2: and also setting perhaps some new goals during this time.
42:02
Speaker 2: I don't want anyone to go out and think that
42:04
Speaker 2: they have to come up with the next massive, great idea,
42:07
Speaker 2: just because of what's going on in the world. It's
42:09
Speaker 2: okay to take a step back and just be. But
42:12
Speaker 2: we have an opportunity right now to articulate and kind
42:16
Speaker 2: of think and have some intention behind who it is
42:19
Speaker 2: that we are and who it is that we want
42:21
Speaker 2: to be.
42:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so nice. And I would expound on that
42:26
Speaker 1: and say, if I were to do a writing exercise myself,
42:29
Speaker 1: I would do what's working and what's not working? And
42:33
Speaker 1: I think that question is really helpful for me, especially
42:37
Speaker 1: in the relationship to the news. You know, it's like,
42:41
Speaker 1: how much consumption is helpful and what becomes neurotic? And
42:47
Speaker 1: you know, how much of my precautionary measures are helpful
42:50
Speaker 1: and what's turning into xenophobia? And what's that line between
42:56
Speaker 1: useful and harmful? And then you can extend that into Wow,
43:00
Speaker 1: looking back on where I was a month ago, I
43:03
Speaker 1: was in deep pain and stress because of X y
43:06
Speaker 1: Z thing, And without those things, I'm learning that I
43:09
Speaker 1: really value time in the morning. And after all of
43:14
Speaker 1: this is over, I'm going to prioritize waking up thirty
43:18
Speaker 1: minutes earlier to take a walk or meditate or you know,
43:22
Speaker 1: make that special tea duringk or whatever, so that we
43:26
Speaker 1: can eventually come to understand what really truly is homeostasis
43:32
Speaker 1: for us.
43:33
Speaker 2: Let me just say that I have never valued taking
43:36
Speaker 2: a walk more than right now in my liace. I
43:42
Speaker 2: look forward to my afternoon walk like I look forward
43:47
Speaker 2: to Martini after it all day.
43:50
Speaker 1: I mean, really, though, if there's anything that this thing
43:53
Speaker 1: is doing, it's stripping us down to the most simplistic needs.
44:00
Speaker 1: It turns out we don't really need oat milk over
44:04
Speaker 1: hemp milk.
44:07
Speaker 2: Who really get mad at your barista the next time?
44:10
Speaker 1: Just who gives a fuck? Actually?
44:13
Speaker 2: You know?
44:13
Speaker 1: And what really matters is our ability to connect with
44:17
Speaker 1: our friends and our family. What really matters is that
44:19
Speaker 1: we have clean water and enough food and some form
44:23
Speaker 1: of an income that gets us through the days, and
44:26
Speaker 1: the ability to take a walk, and everything else is superfluous.
44:31
Speaker 2: Talk to me a little bit about how you give
44:34
Speaker 2: back to yourself outside of instruction.
44:38
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you for asking that question. Writing you know,
44:43
Speaker 1: this open letter to series is giving me so much
44:49
Speaker 1: because it's opening up a portal of my own creativity
44:52
Speaker 1: that I didn't quite know where to put that energy.
44:56
Speaker 1: And that's been really medicinal for me. I really enjoy
45:05
Speaker 1: freehand journaling, just letting my mind do its thing. I've also,
45:10
Speaker 1: I'm sure, like many of you, bought way too many
45:13
Speaker 1: books on Amazon, and I'm flipping through I think five
45:17
Speaker 1: on my bookstand right now, and then I think one
45:21
Speaker 1: of the little things is prioritizing boundaries with work at
45:27
Speaker 1: home and making sure that there's a certain time in
45:30
Speaker 1: the evening where I'm no longer in the space where
45:33
Speaker 1: my laptop is, and choosing what to do at that time,
45:38
Speaker 1: whether it's sitting down at a table and connecting with
45:40
Speaker 1: my incredible boyfriend face to face, or taking a longer
45:45
Speaker 1: shower than usual, or picking a difficult recipe and putting
45:49
Speaker 1: my mind and attention on something that will be both
45:53
Speaker 1: creative and nourishing.
45:54
Speaker 2: And all the things that you listed are again so
45:57
Speaker 2: basic and so simplistic, and it's so beautiful to have
46:02
Speaker 2: the opportunity to live a life that all right, briefly
46:07
Speaker 2: ideally is uncomplicated and then be able to bring some
46:13
Speaker 2: of that less chaotic being back into the fold when
46:19
Speaker 2: the fold, when that fold really happens.
46:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know, I would say that all of
46:24
Speaker 1: that that less chaotic being is like all of those
46:28
Speaker 1: things are free, you know. And I think where we
46:31
Speaker 1: were a couple of weeks ago was certainly in the
46:34
Speaker 1: commodification of the wellness space, the industry of wellness, and
46:38
Speaker 1: I think a lot of our self soothing habits end
46:41
Speaker 1: up becoming quite expensive, you know, whether you're going from
46:45
Speaker 1: massage or your retail therapy or what have you. And
46:48
Speaker 1: because we're all feeling some kind of financial strain right now,
46:52
Speaker 1: whether we're taking pay cuts or we got laid off,
46:54
Speaker 1: or we're unsure where the next you know, consulting gig
46:58
Speaker 1: is going to come from. I think there's hope in
47:05
Speaker 1: knowing that the real self soothing tools, the ones that
47:10
Speaker 1: have long standing benefits and create long lasting change, are
47:16
Speaker 1: the ones that are free.
47:18
Speaker 2: Yeah.
47:18
Speaker 1: And I say this as a business who sells co
47:22
Speaker 1: branded bath salts, and are they the best? Of course
47:24
Speaker 1: they're the best. But you know, a bath doesn't mean
47:29
Speaker 1: anything if your mind and your your presence is not
47:33
Speaker 1: in the bath with you.
47:35
Speaker 2: What is it that you hope to accomplish in the
47:40
Speaker 2: next three months versus in the next three years?
47:45
Speaker 1: Wow, in the next three months. I am dedicated to unification,
47:57
Speaker 1: So I'm dedicated to making myself available on the class
48:03
Speaker 1: platform as much as I can in this time where
48:08
Speaker 1: our relationship to our lower self is in deep proximity,
48:14
Speaker 1: and what we're really needing and what we're being asked
48:16
Speaker 1: to do is rise into action from our higher self.
48:22
Speaker 1: So I feel dedicated to that practice. And then I
48:25
Speaker 1: really am trying to use social media for the purpose
48:29
Speaker 1: of unification rather than divisiveness. There's so many opportunities every
48:35
Speaker 1: time you open up the news to put your attention
48:39
Speaker 1: on dividing, on division, and I'm attempting to use this
48:46
Speaker 1: is Natalie, you know my Instagram handle as a way
48:49
Speaker 1: to say, honey, I get it, and you're not alone,
48:53
Speaker 1: and we're we're and we're in this. We're human together.
48:56
Speaker 1: So that's sort of the immediate while we while we're
48:59
Speaker 1: in this, and then in the next three years, I
49:04
Speaker 1: really I want to cultivate as much personal ground for
49:13
Speaker 1: myself where I can move into relationship and career and
49:19
Speaker 1: sense of self with as much ease as possible. And
49:25
Speaker 1: my hope is that I become so strong in my
49:28
Speaker 1: own practices that the being possessed by stress is a
49:37
Speaker 1: time of the past, because I do believe that, I
49:41
Speaker 1: do believe that stress is it ultimately is a choice,
49:47
Speaker 1: but it does not feel like a choice when we
49:50
Speaker 1: are unpracticed, and I fall into that repeatedly. I am
49:56
Speaker 1: I'm not immune to that at all. So that's what
50:01
Speaker 1: I'm working on the next three years, of really honing
50:04
Speaker 1: my own stability to make stress a thing of the past.
50:12
Speaker 2: I dig that. I love that your three year goal
50:16
Speaker 2: is a state of being and not say a house
50:20
Speaker 2: with a picket fence or oh my god, it's not funny.
50:23
Speaker 1: I didn't even think about that. I should probably have
50:25
Speaker 1: those goals too.
50:26
Speaker 2: Oh you don't need anybody else's goals to.
50:30
Speaker 1: Be Oh god, yeah, but truly yeah, because I think
50:34
Speaker 1: I really feel like all of the other things are
50:36
Speaker 1: going to fall into place once I write my own path, right.
50:39
Speaker 1: But if I'm able to be easeful in the way
50:44
Speaker 1: of the heart and the mind, my relationship will continue
50:48
Speaker 1: to blossom. And I'm so grateful that I'm in a
50:50
Speaker 1: partnership where he's on that path too, and he's you know,
50:55
Speaker 1: really advanced in that practice. And then I'm in a
50:59
Speaker 1: kind where that's that is very supported. And then my
51:03
Speaker 1: sense of self is constantly in studentship, whether it's in
51:08
Speaker 1: therapy or I work with an intimacy coach, or my
51:13
Speaker 1: own creativity, or the way that I speak to myself
51:16
Speaker 1: when I look in the mirror. You know, all of
51:18
Speaker 1: that self talk. It's all you know in deep studentship.
51:22
Speaker 2: Can you talk to me about working with an intimacy coach?
51:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the fucking best. So Yeah. Her name is
51:28
Speaker 1: Rachel Dunville and her company is called Erosia AE r
51:32
Speaker 1: O Sha And basically, whatever your needs are in the
51:37
Speaker 1: realm of intimacy, she is there to support you. So
51:42
Speaker 1: the extreme version, like you're interested in you know, orgies
51:47
Speaker 1: at a Dungeons and Dragons layer, Great, Okay, great, I'll
51:51
Speaker 1: be like, go for that. For me, what my work
51:54
Speaker 1: has been, especially after my divorce, was understanding my relationship
52:00
Speaker 1: to masculine energy and feminine energy. And despite the class
52:04
Speaker 1: being full of women, the practice itself is well, it's
52:08
Speaker 1: both masculine and feminine, but the executive part of my
52:11
Speaker 1: job is pretty masculine. It's action oriented, it's ambition, it's
52:15
Speaker 1: getting things done, and I'm talking about in the archetypal
52:18
Speaker 1: energetic sphere right And in the past I've had a
52:21
Speaker 1: really hard time leaving that energy and shifting into the
52:28
Speaker 1: feminine energy, which is much more receptive and open and soft.
52:33
Speaker 1: And so she's helped me ritualize and maneuver the ability
52:39
Speaker 1: to move between both energies with ease and fluency.
52:45
Speaker 2: And that's interesting.
52:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's changed my relationship to sex. It's changed
52:49
Speaker 1: my relationship to relationship, and more than anything, it's changed
52:53
Speaker 1: my own relationship to pleasure. And I'm not even talking
52:57
Speaker 1: about sexual pleasure. I'm talking about, like, you know, taking
53:01
Speaker 1: in the beauty of a flower that's springing up from
53:04
Speaker 1: the concrete, or the ability for me to smell my
53:08
Speaker 1: food before I taste my food, and for that matter,
53:11
Speaker 1: actually taste it. So it's done a lot for my
53:15
Speaker 1: sensorial experience of the world.
53:18
Speaker 2: Interesting. So you did mention being open on social media.
53:23
Speaker 2: When people go to your Instagram, for example, and they
53:28
Speaker 2: see you, they might on the surface see a beautiful
53:33
Speaker 2: woman who is open to experiencing life in a way
53:40
Speaker 2: that feels outwardly emotional. And again, I can't use the
53:44
Speaker 2: word open enough. Someone that is strong and passionate. When
53:49
Speaker 2: you look in the mirror, what is it that you
53:52
Speaker 2: see looking back at you?
53:56
Speaker 1: God, you ask such good questions. It's really such an
54:00
Speaker 1: art form to ask a beautiful question, So thank you
54:03
Speaker 1: so much for that one. I see someone who is
54:09
Speaker 1: open and curious to her own humanity, and by that
54:17
Speaker 1: I mean I'm really open to my feelings, my feelings,
54:23
Speaker 1: and I'm open to also hearing my self talk that
54:27
Speaker 1: spans from you've got this girl to some really rude
54:34
Speaker 1: upswells of old stories. You know these. I still grapple
54:40
Speaker 1: with old stories of not being good enough, for not
54:45
Speaker 1: being adequate or strong enough, or look the way that
54:51
Speaker 1: the you know magazines say I should look, or you know,
54:55
Speaker 1: like other people at the class or other people of
55:00
Speaker 1: my colleagues. And when I when I hear that voice,
55:03
Speaker 1: and when I hear that again fiction story, I fastidiously
55:12
Speaker 1: respond with, ah, honey, it's time to practice, isn't it.
55:18
Speaker 1: So I see somebody who is dedicated to growth, and
55:23
Speaker 1: that growth comes with the requisite pitfalls and the requisite celebrations.
55:32
Speaker 1: When I am in a flow.
55:35
Speaker 2: If you had the opportunity right now to address as
55:39
Speaker 2: many people as possible with one kind of crux of
55:45
Speaker 2: a takeaway at during this time, that feels just so overwhelming.
55:50
Speaker 2: That's the word that I keep coming back to. If
55:52
Speaker 2: you have an opportunity to address them. What is it
55:55
Speaker 2: that you think that you would say?
55:58
Speaker 1: Two things immediately spring to mind. I know asked For one,
56:00
Speaker 1: I'm breaking the rules. My family's mantra for the last
56:05
Speaker 1: I think fifteen years has been the Plato quote be
56:10
Speaker 1: kind for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
56:13
Speaker 1: And I think that that is not only resonant for
56:18
Speaker 1: the necessary compassion and empathy we must feel for our
56:22
Speaker 1: brothers and sisters in China and in Italy, and those
56:26
Speaker 1: who are compromised, and those who have just lost their jobs.
56:31
Speaker 1: So be kind, be kind to everyone. We're all feeling this.
56:36
Speaker 1: And then that also is turned inward to yourself as
56:41
Speaker 1: we all navigate job loss and instability and uncertainty, to
56:46
Speaker 1: be as as dedicated and loyal to your practice of
56:54
Speaker 1: kindness toward oneself as you possibly can be. And then
56:58
Speaker 1: the other one is I would say, as we're moving
57:01
Speaker 1: through this pandemic, panicdemic, to ask yourself, is it useful?
57:06
Speaker 1: Is it useful for me to spend X amount of
57:08
Speaker 1: time doing anything on my computer on the news sources, sleeping, eating,
57:13
Speaker 1: not sleeping, not eating, taking a walk, not taking a walk.
57:16
Speaker 1: What's useful? What is useful? And then what's harmful? And
57:20
Speaker 1: being strict. I would say, with yourself in discrimination and
57:26
Speaker 1: understanding the difference between the two.
57:29
Speaker 2: That's a beautiful piece of advice. You have the opportunity
57:32
Speaker 2: right now to offer yourself one piece of advice looking
57:37
Speaker 2: back on what have been some really hard to get
57:42
Speaker 2: over hurdle is the loss of your mom, perhaps your
57:45
Speaker 2: divorce as well. You have the opportunity to offer yourself
57:49
Speaker 2: one piece of advice looking back on those times. What
57:52
Speaker 2: do you tell yourself?
57:56
Speaker 1: Ah, honey, there's information in those emotions. So that's to say,
58:05
Speaker 1: I shied away from anger for a long time and
58:08
Speaker 1: still do in the hidden crevices of my being, and
58:12
Speaker 1: every emotion is really a harbinger, a messenger from a
58:18
Speaker 1: deeper place within that is letting you know what's really
58:23
Speaker 1: going on. If I were to look back on those times,
58:26
Speaker 1: I would say, letter it, letter it. Yeah.
58:32
Speaker 2: Thank you for your time and your energy and for
58:36
Speaker 2: being such a light to so many people, including me.
58:40
Speaker 2: I really really appreciate it.
58:42
Speaker 1: Thank you, Emily, and thank you for what you're doing
58:45
Speaker 1: and creating the space for the difficult conversations to be had.
58:50
Speaker 1: It's certainly where we all need to go to change things.
58:56
Speaker 1: So thank you.
58:57
Speaker 2: Please take a moment and leave a quick review by
59:00
Speaker 2: picking the link with the description to this episode. We
59:02
Speaker 2: all face hurdles in life. I want to hear about yours.
59:06
Speaker 2: Reach Out to me at Emily at hurdle dot us.
59:09
Speaker 2: Connect with the podcast on Instagram and Twitter at Hurdle
59:12
Speaker 2: Podcast Natalie. Where can they find you? How can they
59:15
Speaker 2: keep up with you? And the class give me the lowdown.
59:18
Speaker 1: Theclass dot com is our website, at the Class is
59:23
Speaker 1: our Instagram handfle and at this is Natalie.
59:27
Speaker 2: Is my personal thank you. I am at Emily a
59:32
Speaker 2: body at Hurdle Podcast. Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys
59:36
Speaker 2: next time.