Latest / Eye Opener Society / 🎙️ Eye Opener Society – Rebuilding Relationships in a Time of Change | Tower Moments, Radical Honesty & Community Healing

Transcript

🎙️ Eye Opener Society – Rebuilding Relationships in a Time of Change | Tower Moments, Radical Honesty & Community Healing · Eye Opener Society

• 0:02
  Hello, everyone. Welcome back to EyeOpener Society.
• 0:05
  Thank you again for tuning in. Thank you for joining us. I hope you've been
• 0:09
  with us for the past few weeks.
• 0:11
  Been a lot going on, especially my little trip down to Appalachian Rootworks,
• 0:16
  Rooted in Ruins in Cynthiana, Kentucky.
• 0:18
  We cannot forget about them because they really opened my eyes over the weekend
• 0:23
  and I had celebrated so many amazing things with them.
• 0:27
  And alongside of that, I want to also thank, depending when you're listening
• 0:31
  to the show, we're going to have a new release from Anne Lund and Haunted and Waiting.
• 0:37
  Very much looking forward to that. Got that ready and scheduled to go.
• 0:41
  And we're still sitting, waiting on Sunset Child.
• 0:45
  Can't wait till Sunset Child can bring us some stuff. And I want to also thank
• 0:48
  Hannah Rose from The Sound Within, along with Elaine from Arcane Oracle.
• 0:54
  So sitting and thinking about some things As we're going into this whole,
• 1:00
  New year, this fire horse And all the things that are going on And depending
• 1:05
  where you live, like me There's been crazy weather things Which I all think
• 1:09
  is manipulated in any way.
• 1:12
  Lizzie and I, on our last show We spoke about relationships Because I started
• 1:17
  noticing Especially with people close to me A lot of relationships are coming
• 1:22
  to this fiery end And even Lizzie had revealed that she's going through,
• 1:27
  you know, the same sort of thing,
• 1:29
  And we spoke a lot about it, and I don't like to repeat shows But I feel that
• 1:33
  this is important enough where we need to start touching on some more things
• 1:36
  So let's welcome Lizzie, Lizzie, how you doing? Good,
• 1:41
  Just super excited to be here again for another episode.
• 1:45
  Yeah, for sure. It's always exciting to have you here. I'm so glad.
• 1:48
  And for those that don't know, like, I know at the beginning was always difficult.
• 1:53
  And Lizzie and I, we got to make appointments to even text each other and all.
• 1:57
  But now Lizzie and I, I might as well promote the Marco Polo app. She turned me on to it.
• 2:04
  And we have been spending, like, I mean, tons of our time together.
• 2:08
  And it's an amazing thing because there's so many things that are coming up
• 2:11
  that Lizzie and I are involved in and all of the talk that we've been having
• 2:16
  has really bonded us and it's been giving each other so many ideas.
• 2:23
  Well, because of that, I think that too qualifies as a relationship, does it not?
• 2:29
  I could agree. I could agree. I think people take that word just like a little
• 2:34
  too weird in the patriarchal sense.
• 2:39
  Yeah, it does. I don't think people understand relationships are very, very minute.
• 2:46
  I know somebody and I care about them to tight, tight friendships all the way
• 2:52
  up to the whole paper marriage that we spoke about before.
• 2:56
  Uh, so it runs a full gamut, keeping these things alive, though,
• 3:03
  fresh, new, that's the important part of it because we can't,
• 3:08
  we can't keep developing relationships no matter how small and then losing it based upon stupidity,
• 3:17
  based upon outside influences or whatnot. Um, yeah.
• 3:22
  Although even so, at times, people do get together, and chances are they probably
• 3:29
  shouldn't have in the first place. I understand that happens,
• 3:32
  too. It happened with my first marriage.
• 3:34
  We were just two completely different people that should have never bound together,
• 3:38
  especially in the paper version of marriage.
• 3:41
  Well, I think that's something that really happens a lot because people take the term relationship,
• 3:48
  and they really tie it into like sex
• 3:52
  and love forever right like that's your number one relationship and
• 3:55
  all other relationships kind of fall around in whatever
• 3:59
  you have space for around that like one
• 4:01
  thing and I think it it confuses a
• 4:05
  lot of things because as humans
• 4:08
  we're not really designed to be reliant on
• 4:11
  two people I think that's why a lot of people are having so
• 4:14
  many problems in their relationships of all sense of
• 4:16
  the word right now is because I think collectively we're
• 4:19
  moving much more into a community mindset we're supposed
• 4:23
  to have five or six close people around
• 4:26
  us you know what I mean whether at work friends partners whatever it is that
• 4:30
  you're doing because like us Marco Poloing for example you have such a different
• 4:36
  perspective on the world you've experienced such a different sense of things
• 4:40
  that when I talk to you about these like cosmic truths that I'm exploring,
• 4:45
  and you give me like your perspective, it has to shift mine, you know what I mean?
• 4:50
  And even if it's not cosmic theory, even like last night, we were talking more
• 4:54
  like real world stuff, right?
• 4:56
  But even then, it's a whole different perspective, it gets to broaden my awareness.
• 5:01
  But if you're only talking to one person all the time, because they're like,
• 5:06
  your partner, it like messes things up.
• 5:09
  This is something that's always been very important to me is to be open to.
• 5:13
  Friendships and and i think the marco polo app has
• 5:16
  been amazing i'm gonna also promote it because i just i loved it
• 5:19
  for years because we've been chatting for
• 5:22
  like um what have we been friends for like eight months
• 5:25
  or something at this point but you
• 5:28
  cannot get in depth into like your
• 5:31
  personal stories and your thoughts and trying to
• 5:33
  connect all these different things through a text message you
• 5:37
  know what i mean but with something like
• 5:40
  marco polo i'm sure there's a bunch of other things that you can do too
• 5:43
  even just like the zoom calls you don't have to limit
• 5:45
  it to people that you can hang out with you know
• 5:48
  what i mean like i i'm meeting so many beautiful
• 5:51
  people from across this this whole
• 5:54
  nation this across this whole world on tiktok and other places and it's just
• 5:59
  in in today's age i think everybody's waking up to the fact that we're just
• 6:04
  supposed to be a lot more of a community and less of a little dynamic you know
• 6:08
  that is true and then what happens with that.
• 6:13
  Depending on your partner, and like I said, it's very broad for us,
• 6:18
  and Lizzie brought up a good point before we hit record, we don't know what's
• 6:22
  going on with our audience.
• 6:24
  So, individual people are all going through individual phases or processes or their tower moments.
• 6:32
  So, what I really wanted to focus on was just trying to get a broader idea of everything.
• 6:39
  So, as Lizzie was saying, you know, this society and the fact that we're all
• 6:44
  coming together like a community and all, there's sometimes that throws a big
• 6:50
  wrench into a personal relationship.
• 6:54
  This entire idea of ownership and all that we spoke about on our last episode,
• 6:59
  we need to start throwing that idea out the window.
• 7:03
  It should have never been something that started in the first place.
• 7:07
  Marriage is not an ownership Friendships are not an ownership You don't own
• 7:12
  a person You don't run their lives based on that So I understand a lot of times,
• 7:20
  In a relationship, if you should have a friend, especially a friend of an opposite
• 7:25
  sex, it kind of throws this mess in.
• 7:29
  And I never understood that because throughout life I had many friends and most
• 7:35
  of my friends happen to be female.
• 7:36
  It's just the way it works for me. My wife, when she makes friends,
• 7:40
  she's usually making friends with male friends.
• 7:43
  I've never seen it as an issue But that's me personally,
• 7:49
  Lizzie, I know for a fact Would not see that as a problem However,
• 7:54
  I think on a broader scale The way we are brought up The way we are raised The
• 7:58
  way we're taught with relationships It becomes an ownership And because you're
• 8:03
  with a person That person now,
• 8:05
  Cannot speak to anybody Outside of a relationship,
• 8:10
  well you also have a very community-based mindset
• 8:13
  do you know what i mean and so the um
• 8:16
  this is something that i've deconstructed a lot people
• 8:19
  who tend to get jealous in relationships like that they
• 8:22
  put all their stability in their one
• 8:26
  person that's how it's supposed to be your finances are
• 8:29
  all tied up your your dreams your hopes for the future all of
• 8:31
  us in this one person and so it's hard like
• 8:35
  you know what i mean if you haven't deconstructed that kind of stuff and put
• 8:38
  a lot of power and reliability in of
• 8:40
  yourself then it's like it turns
• 8:43
  into a threat to your security do you know what i mean because you know things
• 8:49
  happen or whatever and and so your brain can get all crazy but it really comes
• 8:54
  down to the fact that you've got to put more power into yourself in the broad
• 8:58
  community than like worrying about what your partner's doing.
• 9:03
  Yes, I like that concept because sometimes just to get the words together on
• 9:08
  that, you're kind of like walking on eggshells because yes, your entire life
• 9:12
  is now bound together with your partner.
• 9:14
  Like you said, financially and everything else, it's all your focus now too much.
• 9:22
  Yeah, so you're together. So just because now somebody else enters in from the
• 9:28
  outside just as a friend and someone to break up the monotony, let's be real.
• 9:34
  No matter where you are, no matter how happy you may be in a relationship,
• 9:38
  somebody from the outside can break up that monotony and add a little bit more
• 9:41
  broadness to the things you explore.
• 9:45
  Because let's face it, we sometimes get together with a partner.
• 9:49
  That partner may not be into Every single
• 9:52
  thing that we are into I could sit and talk to my wife But I have to Talk to
• 9:58
  her on the level that Her and I are on So when I get with you Lizzie I know
• 10:03
  we can talk about all the cosmic shit Like in detail Because we just happen
• 10:09
  to be On that same frequency,
• 10:13
  That doesn't take away anything Not a damn thing From what I have with my wife,
• 10:19
  but it's supposed to enrich it enrich it exactly now you have new ideas that
• 10:25
  you can come back to you know what i mean and and that's that's the whole i
• 10:29
  think point that i'm getting to is that it's it's like everybody wants to put
• 10:33
  all their easter eggs in one single basket,
• 10:36
  i like it yeah and it's what i was trying to describe because.
• 10:42
  When we talk about relationships, and I don't always like talking about relationships.
• 10:47
  I don't like being thrown in other people's relationships, being that person
• 10:50
  to tell someone, this is the way you need to do it.
• 10:54
  It does not work that way. I don't know every single intimate thing that goes on in everybody's life.
• 11:02
  However, even Lizzie and I, we sat here for a second or two before hitting record
• 11:07
  saying, how do we help people?
• 11:09
  What do we say? What type of advice, where do we guide them?
• 11:14
  How do we do it from a cosmic level? How do we do it from a simple normie style?
• 11:21
  I don't think we came up with anything, really.
• 11:24
  No, not really. The only thing I could think is if you feel like you're in chaos
• 11:29
  and you don't know what to do, you got to get out of it for just a minute,
• 11:33
  let all the feelings flow, and then give yourself some time.
• 11:37
  Because whenever feelings are going, you can't really decide what you want to be doing.
• 11:43
  You know what I mean? You have to come to a center of peace and allow things
• 11:49
  to make sense from inside your head.
• 11:52
  Right. And like you said, find that time, find a way to get away for a weekend,
• 11:56
  find an hour or so to hide in a car or something and just collect your thoughts
• 12:01
  and really analyze everything.
• 12:06
  I'm just cutting you off today I'm so sorry I like it If you got something to say Say it man.
• 12:14
  But yeah Analyze everything Because If you're going to sit And come up with
• 12:21
  this idea That everything that's happening I gotta get away,
• 12:27
  Go with that flow. Again, everybody's going through these tower moments.
• 12:32
  That tower's on fire. It's crumbling. It's going to fall.
• 12:36
  Are you going to stay in it or are you going to bail, save face,
• 12:41
  and move on with your life?
• 12:43
  Yes, exactly. Because truly, what I've learned about tower moments is no matter
• 12:50
  what chaos seems to be happening, it usually happens because you ask for something.
• 12:55
  You're trying to move forward and there's parts of
• 12:59
  your world that are not allowing you to move forward either in
• 13:01
  the way that they're structured or them entirely or whatever
• 13:04
  entire moments always seem to be this like
• 13:08
  thing that happens after you start going for something
• 13:11
  better for yourself and then everything has to restructure
• 13:14
  but it's so easy to get caught and try to fix and
• 13:17
  hold everything as it's going but that really that
• 13:21
  really just fucks it up like you've got to just kind
• 13:23
  of let it let it fall how it
• 13:26
  falls and always it ends
• 13:29
  up being way better than you could have imagined yep and
• 13:33
  the other thing that just crossed my mind too communication those lines have
• 13:38
  to be open 110 communication is key to anything if i'm feeling something i need
• 13:47
  to go write to my wife and be able to just say it and lay it down.
• 13:52
  And she has that same right to come to me with whatever it is that's on her
• 13:57
  mind and talk to me about it.
• 13:59
  And that's the way we've lived our relationship since we started it.
• 14:03
  That is a key. And I don't think many people have that open line of communication.
• 14:09
  And then what happens if you cannot talk to your partner And I run to see you And I talk to you.
• 14:19
  I should be able to tell my wife exactly everything that I'm talking to you about.
• 14:26
  Those lines of communications need to be open. Yeah, we've talked a lot about
• 14:30
  that, about when you do have lots of different relationships and stuff like
• 14:34
  that, radical authenticity and radical honesty.
• 14:37
  And if you're not pursuing those to the best of your ability and learning as
• 14:42
  you go, then everything's going to get kind of messy. You're going to create
• 14:45
  your own tower moments because you want all these beautiful,
• 14:49
  happy relationships, right?
• 14:51
  But you really, really can't get those without authenticity and honesty.
• 14:56
  You excited about something?
• 14:57
  I am so sorry. If you're not seeing me on camera, I just got the text message
• 15:01
  that I don't have to go to work tomorrow. So hooray.
• 15:06
  See, that's my relationship. That's communication right there.
• 15:10
  Sorry about that. I'm totally distracted with Lizzie as I'm reading my text.
• 15:15
  I was just excited for you. Yeah, for sure.
• 15:20
  So, yeah, when we look, I think, I know relationships are beautiful, extremely beautiful.
• 15:32
  Especially, you know, especially if you're in that level of marriage or even
• 15:36
  if it is paper marriage, they're wonderful. They're beautiful. They're sacred.
• 15:41
  But sometimes that sacredness can lose
• 15:45
  its ability to do
• 15:48
  what it did at the beginning i know that because i went
• 15:51
  through twice already you start off with something beautiful and as time goes
• 15:55
  on things do change there's nothing at all i i can't tell people that everything's
• 16:01
  going to last forever it's nice to think that but yeah things do break down
• 16:06
  though over time and you You have to understand that.
• 16:10
  And that's where communication comes in and saying, are we going to continue
• 16:14
  this journey or are we going to have to, you know, take two separate roads?
• 16:21
  Yeah, and I think, at least for me, the way that I handle things in all of my
• 16:25
  relationships is, can I be myself?
• 16:28
  Can I be honest? Can I grow?
• 16:30
  Do they see me? Can I see them? You know what I mean? Is it something that's actually enjoyable?
• 16:36
  Because when you're making yourself small in one way or another,
• 16:40
  it just, honestly, especially if you're trying to manifest your dream life,
• 16:44
  it's going to show you all the places you're making yourself small.
• 16:47
  So, you just kind of let it all shift and go after what you want.
• 16:53
  And all of the relationships are going to either blossom or shift or whatever.
• 16:58
  And if you can just kind of hold them in the beautiful space that they are and
• 17:03
  not try to define and choose what they're going to be, I think people will actually
• 17:08
  find themselves a lot happier.
• 17:10
  Yeah and that alone too
• 17:13
  because like i said i i hold my relationship my
• 17:17
  marriage sacred as well and then i have
• 17:20
  friends and and there's different levels of
• 17:23
  friendships and all but lately and i'll
• 17:27
  freely admit this our relationship you and i
• 17:29
  lizzie means something i mean and i
• 17:33
  don't want to break that up because i
• 17:36
  don't know how to separate it from my marriage
• 17:39
  or any other relationship that's where that's where you come in with uh open
• 17:44
  honesty and you know and like i talked to you about like talking to melissa
• 17:48
  about making sure she can always come to me if she feels like we're talking
• 17:52
  too much or something you know what i mean if i ever make her uncomfortable um.
• 17:56
  I think it also messes a little bit when you've got like a relationship or a
• 18:01
  friend or whatever, and people argue and they have different perceptions.
• 18:05
  And then it just makes everything messy. But I think we're in a world right
• 18:10
  now where people are actually learning how to be themselves and ask what they
• 18:14
  want and do all these things.
• 18:16
  I think everybody very standardly goes into like when chaos hits,
• 18:21
  they want to mentally and energetically kind of take control of the situation and fix everything.
• 18:28
  But really, you've just got to be like, oh, I'm having a problem or,
• 18:31
  oh, this made me feel a certain way.
• 18:33
  You know what I mean? And that's the thing is I'm not here to talk bad about marriage.
• 18:41
  It's beautiful and it should be sacred for all people who want to partake in
• 18:46
  it, but it's just not supposed to be a limit.
• 18:48
  It's supposed to be an advantage, a teamwork.
• 18:52
  And I think you and Melissa, of all the things that we've talked
• 18:54
  about you guys do that so beautifully you guys just
• 18:57
  love each other you guys just let each other be yourselves
• 19:01
  and grow and evolve as you guys do it doesn't take away from each other your
• 19:05
  guys don't seem to be like defining that do you know what i mean and so that
• 19:10
  leaves you space to grow other relationships and other dynamics yeah it does
• 19:17
  and i'm very very happy and proud of that too,
• 19:21
  because that's the way I feel about life to begin with.
• 19:26
  And I wouldn't want a partner that's not going to experience that same journey with me.
• 19:32
  So as I'm sitting here absorbing this, I'm sitting thinking,
• 19:35
  oh, are we talking about things that are probably very sore right now to our
• 19:41
  audience that maybe they are going through something like that? And,
• 19:45
  Are we like ripping a Band-Aid off, you know? Are we exposing their feelings?
• 19:49
  Yeah, that one's hard because you almost kind of got to rip the Band-Aid off.
• 19:54
  Yeah. Weed a little, you know?
• 19:57
  It's true. Yeah, and I think that's where we probably can say that's where the lesson is.
• 20:03
  That's what we can help with, you know, is maybe just get it into your mind,
• 20:09
  that you are just as important in your relationship as your partner.
• 20:14
  So both of you need to start communicating If you cannot communicate If neither
• 20:19
  party, if they're just sitting there Not listening That's not going to work
• 20:24
  That's it, that's the sign of the tower moment right there That's when you need to bail,
• 20:30
  For sure For sure, you gotta unconditionally love yourself first That means that, you know,
• 20:36
  are they giving the love back But then you gotta love other people unconditionally
• 20:40
  too And I'd really like to challenge our listeners to explore that word because
• 20:44
  I don't know if anybody, including myself,
• 20:47
  really knows what that means to truly love without condition, without edit.
• 20:52
  That's one's been a fun one for me to explore this past year.
• 20:57
  Yeah. And let me also put a little bit more perspective into that because it's
• 21:02
  one thing to say with your partner on conditional love.
• 21:04
  But then again, you've used that term with me many times when it comes to your children.
• 21:10
  I mean, it's a whole different ballgame when it comes to children.
• 21:13
  That should and absolutely is unconditional love right there. Well...
• 21:20
  Challenging that one with our audience, I guess.
• 21:24
  Yeah, sure, you love them all unconditionally, but do you alter your attitude
• 21:30
  based on their behavior?
• 21:32
  Are you trying to, you know, the more you spend trying to make them into the
• 21:37
  strong, independent person in the world, the more you're accidentally going
• 21:42
  to edit their natural involvement.
• 21:45
  And so although you love them unconditionally
• 21:49
  a lot of times and and even dynamics with
• 21:52
  children people's energetic love
• 21:56
  that will like what they're bringing to
• 21:59
  the table where they're directing it what they're trying to do with it is also
• 22:03
  very much so in editing their kids i like it and it's a lot to take in especially
• 22:10
  for someone who don't have kids i got stuff i always throw something on there
• 22:14
  i stick a foot my mouth. So thank you for clearing it up.
• 22:18
  I appreciate it. But yeah, I want to leave it though like that,
• 22:23
  especially because the audience, you may be absorbing all of this.
• 22:26
  You may be going through your own tower moments. You may be on a path where
• 22:29
  everything is fine, which is great.
• 22:31
  So keep that path going. And that's what Lizzie and I wish for you.
• 22:36
  But I just feel right now, especially all the people that are in my life,
• 22:40
  the other relationships that
• 22:41
  I have, people that I'm close to and I hear these things, it's never fun.
• 22:46
  It's never fun because I know the hardest, and I'll put it to you this way,
• 22:49
  the hardest part is that exact moment when you know it's over.
• 22:52
  That's it. Anything beyond that, it gets easier.
• 22:57
  That whole split, and again, that's where that paper marriage comes in,
• 23:01
  all the legalities of it, the financials of it, the taxes of it,
• 23:05
  that's the only thing that's really creating the chaos.
• 23:09
  Once you're free of something that you're no longer going to be a part of, that's the easy part.
• 23:16
  Yeah, I think you said that really well. I don't know if I have anything to
• 23:19
  add to that. Okay, that's good. That's good. So I won't do this in there.
• 23:24
  But I'll give a little look into the future because Lizzie and I,
• 23:29
  we were talking about this since I've been experiencing it so much.
• 23:32
  We were continuing this conversation.
• 23:36
  So we had an idea, and it's a matter of getting somebody on this show.
• 23:42
  I'm going to try again. And if it does work, um, great. If not,
• 23:48
  guess what? Lizzie and I can handle it.
• 23:50
  Um, we wanted to shift everything to a very adult themed, uh,
• 23:57
  episode involving sex because...
• 24:01
  When it comes to a relationship, that's always something that's going to be a part of it.
• 24:07
  Yes. And it's honestly so important to deconstruct in yourself.
• 24:12
  And I guess we'll have to wait for that episode.
• 24:15
  But so many of your emotions and emotional wounds and stuff all come up into sex.
• 24:22
  And so that one alone can just throw off any relationship.
• 24:26
  And so I'm really excited to explore that one. But yeah, I do think it would
• 24:30
  be fun to put a couple more people in here.
• 24:33
  You know what I mean? Get a lot of different views.
• 24:36
  Right. And that's where we were working on because there is someone out there
• 24:40
  that I discovered who deals exactly with that.
• 24:43
  And I would love to have that kind of professional thought process going on
• 24:48
  behind my childish one and Lizzie's open relationship one. Yeah.
• 24:53
  So we're trying to get that together for you just to continue this theme.
• 24:58
  And because it's all oneness, really, when it comes to ourselves,
• 25:03
  relationships, this is oneness and sex is part of that.
• 25:06
  So we're putting that together. So it's just something for you guys,
• 25:10
  the audience, to be looking forward to.
• 25:12
  Put the kids to bed early. It's going to be a new show because we're going to explore.
• 25:18
  We'll give you a warning at the start of it. There will be many,
• 25:22
  many warnings and disclaimers on there.
• 25:24
  So with that, I want to thank Lizzie again.
• 25:28
  Thank you for coming on. Thank you for everything that you lend to this show.
• 25:33
  Thank you, though, for your friendship and the relationship that we have. It means a lot to me.
• 25:39
  And I'm 100% honest with that. And I thank my wife, Melissa, too, because...
• 25:45
  When we were down in Appalachian Rootworks, Melissa actually did a podcast with
• 25:50
  the show Without a Candle.
• 25:52
  I can't wait to that. It's together. And I have a link and I got to contact
• 25:56
  them and I want to get it on my show as well.
• 25:59
  So beautiful things are happening.
• 26:02
  Lizzie, you're beautiful in every single way.
• 26:04
  We all love you. I know the audience loves you.
• 26:07
  So we'll continue shining in our own relationship.
• 26:11
  And we're going to use that because it's right here.
• 26:15
  I can't say exactly what you and I are building because I got to wait until
• 26:20
  it's all in place before we make that announcement,
• 26:23
  but it's going to come and it's really important because we're going to use
• 26:29
  everything to help you, the audience at some point or another.
• 26:33
  So you'll probably find that out on, uh, without a candle too,
• 26:37
  as well, because I made that announcement to them.
• 26:39
  And hopefully by the time that
• 26:40
  episode gets out, at least I got something tangible. It's so annoying.
• 26:45
  When I can't talk about something, I've got a gag order on myself until it's out.
• 26:51
  But anyway, thank you, Lizzie. I appreciate everything. Thank you.
• 26:55
  Thank you so much for having me on the show.
• 26:57
  I love you. I love the audience. I'm having so much fun being here.
• 27:01
  That's great. We all are. Thank you very much. And thank you so much to the audience.
• 27:05
  Thank you so much to our entire society. And we will see you all next Monday.