Latest / ToddTalks--Spirit By Design: Your Weekly Survival Guide / The Flight Path from Self-Doubt to Self-Belief - Episode 160
Transcript
- 0:17Todd: Welcome to Todd Talks, where I help you design your best life.
- 0:20Todd: Not the life that I designed for you, but the life that you desire.
- 0:25Todd: To begin today's episode, let me tell you a story.
- 0:29Todd: In the mountainous terrain of the dusty Utah north, where the sky stretched endlessly, pierced by tall, rugged peaks, and the sun blazed fiercely overhead during summer, there lived a young pilot named Alex.
- 0:45Todd: From the moment he could walk, Alex dreamed of taking to the skies and soaring like a bird on wings of steel.
- 0:54Todd: His father, a retired pilot, had regaled him with the tales of adventure and freedom, instilling in him a deep love for aviation.
- 1:03Todd: As soon as he could put together the money from odd jobs and working after school, Alex enrolled in flight training, eager to follow in his father's footsteps.
- 1:13Todd: But as he struggled through his initial lessons, a seed of doubt took root in his heart.
- 1:20Todd: The controls felt foreign in his hands and the vastness of the sky seemed daunting, overwhelming.
- 1:27Todd: With each flight lesson, Alex's self-doubt grew stronger.
- 1:32Todd: He compared himself to his classmates, who seemed to effortlessly grasp the intricacies of flying.
- 1:38Todd: "I'll never be as good as them, he thought to himself, his confidence wavering with each passing day.
- 1:48Todd: Have you ever felt like Alex?
- 1:49Todd: Maybe it wasn't flight training, maybe it was school, maybe talking to a girl or a boy, maybe it was dance or sports or life in general.
- 1:59Todd: Have you ever felt discouraged?
- 2:03Todd: Have you felt discouragement threatened to overwhelm you and make you want to quit Before you even have a chance to get good, let alone become an expert?
- 2:14Todd: I know I have.
- 2:17Todd: They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in anything.
- 2:22Todd: I know from personal experience in the military, in language training, pilot training, sports, etc.
- 2:29Todd: That it takes at least six months of doing something new to become comfortable at it, let alone to become great.
- 2:36Todd: The question is are you going to let the doubts that plague you in the initial stages prevent you from progressing in an area you truly desire to grow?
- 2:49Todd: So, self-doubt is obviously the discussion point for today's episode.
- 2:58Todd: It is a common experience that most people encounter at some point in their lives, I'm sure you included.
- 3:03Todd: It can be debilitating.
- 3:06Todd: It can hold you back from pursuing your goals and dreams.
- 3:09Todd: However, overcoming self-doubt is not an insurmountable challenge, as you will see as I continue Alex's story.
- 3:19Todd: Doubt can be overcome and replaced with confidence.
- 3:23Todd: With the right mindset and strategies, it's possible to break free from the shackles of self-doubt and unlock your full potential.
- 3:32Todd: Self-doubt is truly shackling.
- 3:37Todd: You have to understand self-doubt.
- 3:42Todd: Self-doubt stems from fear fear of failure, fear of rejection or fear of not being good enough.
- 3:49Todd: Fear is the stepping stone into the dark side of the force.
- 3:55Todd: I know I don't make a good yoga, but I'm good at yoga, except I'm not flexible at all.
- 4:05Todd: Fear manifests as that nagging voice in your head telling you that you're not capable or worthy.
- 4:14Todd: However, it's essential that you recognize that self-doubt is nothing more than a feeling.
- 4:22Todd: It's not the reality.
- 4:24Todd: It's not your reality.
- 4:26Todd: This fear stems from your negative reaction to your experiences and or societal norms.
- 4:36Todd: To continue Alex's story one evening, as Alex sat head down and alone in the cockpit of his plane, the weight of his doubts pressing down upon him, he heard a soft voice from the seat beside him.
- 4:52Todd: Are you alright, son?
- 4:54Todd: Startled Alex looked up to see his father sitting beside him, a reassuring smile on his weathered face.
- 5:03Todd: With a heavy sigh and much chagrin, alex confessed his fears of inadequacy and self-doubt.
- 5:09Todd: I want to be a great pilot, like you, he said, his voice trembling with emotion, but I'm afraid I'll never be good enough.
- 5:17Todd: His father listened intently to Alex's words, his eyes filled with compassion.
- 5:25Todd: I understand how you feel, son.
- 5:28Todd: He said his voice gentle yet firm.
- 5:32Todd: But let me tell you something you've heard before but probably have forgotten Every great pilot was once a beginner.
- 5:41Todd: It's okay to feel uncertain, but you mustn't let that fear hold you back.
- 5:46Todd: Alex thought about that for a long moment, raised his chin and, with his father's words ringing in his ears, alex summoned his courage and took to the skies once more.
- 6:01Todd: You see, one of the first steps in overcoming your self-doubt is learning to challenge your negative thoughts Instead of automatically accepting them as truth.
- 6:16Todd: Questioned their validity, did Alex realize he was condemning himself as incompetent because he was just a beginner and not already an expert?
- 6:27Todd: Ask yourself what evidence do I have to support this thought?
- 6:32Todd: Often, you'll find that there's little or no evidence to back up your self-doubt.
- 6:37Todd: By challenging these thoughts, you can start to weaken their hold on you.
- 6:43Todd: Alex had to realize that everyone starts at the beginning.
- 6:47Todd: What negative thoughts do you need to challenge today?
- 6:52Todd: Have I had negative thoughts?
- 6:56Todd: Absolutely.
- 6:57Todd: Have you had negative thoughts?
- 6:58Todd: Absolutely, it's a part of life.
- 7:01Todd: And if you don't challenge them, like Alex had to challenge his negative thoughts and recognize that we will always be beginners at something and it takes time to improve.
- 7:17Todd: Once you can challenge that negative thought, the self-doubt begins to go away.
- 7:25Todd: Self-doubt often thrives in an environment of self-criticism and harsh judgment.
- 7:29Todd: Like I said before, we are our worst critics.
- 7:34Todd: You say things to yourself about yourself that you would never and I mean never say about someone else.
- 7:41Todd: I do it, my wife does it, my kids do it.
- 7:47Todd: I mean we are harsh to ourselves and so you are too.
- 7:53Todd: Cultivating.
- 7:56Todd: Self-compassion is crucial in combating this.
- 8:00Todd: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar doubts.
- 8:07Todd: But it's okay to make mistakes and that failure is a natural part of the learning process.
- 8:15Todd: Each failure is one step closer to learning.
- 8:19Todd: Thomas Edison, after trying 10,000 times to create the light bulb, commented to his assistant that he had just found one more way that it didn't work.
- 8:36Todd: He didn't internalize the failure.
- 8:38Todd: By being gentle with yourself, you can create more, a more supportive inner dialogue.
- 8:48Todd: Another way to build up on and improve your self-doubt is by setting realistic goals.
- 8:55Todd: Setting unrealistic goals can fuel self-doubt by setting you up for inevitable failure.
- 9:02Todd: Instead, set realistic, achievable goals that align with your abilities and resources.
- 9:08Todd: However, there is nothing wrong with a large, somewhat unrealistic goal.
- 9:15Todd: Now the way you achieve it is to break it down into smaller, manageable tasks.
- 9:22Todd: Manageable goals that align with your abilities and resources, and celebrate your progress along the way.
- 9:31Todd: By focusing on achievable, smaller milestones, you can build confidence in momentum over time.
- 9:38Todd: Confidence is king when it comes to achieving any large goal.
- 9:43Todd: I've said I did an entire podcast episode about breaking down large goals into small bites that you can achieve to build your self-confidence.
- 9:59Todd: Seeking support is another method to help you.
- 10:03Todd: It's essential that you recognize that you don't have to overcome self-doubt alone.
- 10:08Todd: Reach out to family members, friends, therapists, whoever you need to, for support and encouragement.
- 10:15Todd: Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your abilities.
- 10:19Todd: I've said it time and time again that you become like the five people that you hang around with.
- 10:26Todd: If you hang out with five smokers, you'll become the fifth or the sixth.
- 10:31Todd: If you hang out with five intellectuals, you'll become the sixth.
- 10:38Todd: If you hang out with five millionaires, you'll become the sixth.
- 10:43Todd: If you hang out with five deadbeats, you'll become the sixth.
- 10:47Todd: You get it.
- 10:51Todd: If you internalize doubts and don't let others in to help, you are setting yourself up for despair.
- 10:56Todd: However, if you seek others' support, their words of encouragement will strengthen your confidence, reassure you of your capabilities and help you achieve more.
- 11:07Todd: Their perspective can offer valuable insights and help you challenge yourself doubt more effectively.
- 11:14Todd: Friends are your greatest asset when you're feeling self-doubt, because they know you.
- 11:25Todd: Especially a true friend knows you and will be able to tell you and give you a more accurate picture than the one that you're playing inside your head.
- 11:40Todd: Finally, take action.
- 11:41Todd: Ultimately, the most effective way to overcome self-doubt is to take action despite it.
- 11:48Todd: The first step in any journey or discovery is the most important.
- 11:53Todd: As Sir Isaac Newton stated, an object in motion tends to stay in motion.
- 12:00Todd: Taking action puts you in motion and gives you momentum.
- 12:04Todd: Start small and gradually work your way up to more significant challenges.
- 12:09Todd: Each time you step outside of your comfort zone and succeed, you weaken the grip of self-doubt a little more.
- 12:15Todd: Remember courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to act in spite of it.
- 12:21Todd: Ask any soldier, sailor, cop, doctor, firefighter, first responder they will tell you the same.
- 12:32Todd: Now Alex needed to act, and he did.
- 12:36Todd: With each flight, he pushed himself beyond his previous limits and skills.
- 12:41Todd: He confronted his fears head-on.
- 12:48Todd: As he gained confidence in his new abilities, he began to soar with a newfound sense of purpose and determination.
- 12:54Todd: I like these pilot stories that teach a good moral.
- 13:01Todd: As the years passed, alex's skills as a pilot grew stronger and he soon earned a reputation of one of the finest aviators in the region.
- 13:09Todd: But, most importantly, he had conquered his greatest challenge of all his own self-doubt.
- 13:15Todd: With each flight, alex honored his father's legacy, proving that with perseverance and determination, even the most daunting doubts, challenges or obstacles could be overcome.
- 13:26Todd: As he soared through the endlessly clear blue sky, he knew that no dream was too big and no challenge to daunting for those who dared to believe in themselves.
- 13:36Todd: One reason I like pilot stories, being a pilot myself, is that pilots on the whole tend to have confidence and tend to have had to overcome self-doubt because of the nature of aviation.
- 13:59Todd: Stories like this tell a really good moral and teach a good lesson about how to overcome self-doubt.
- 14:07Todd: You know that.
- 14:08Todd: You experience it.
- 14:11Todd: I hope you apply these lessons into your life to improve your confidence, improve your mindset and improve your ability to be resilient when it comes to challenges.
- 14:30Todd: In conclusion, overcoming self-doubt is a journey that requires patience, self-awareness and perseverance.
- 14:39Todd: You are taking a small step forward by listening to this podcast.
- 14:45Todd: I know that if you put into practice the things you learned today, you will be able to overcome your personal demon of self-doubt.
- 14:52Todd: By challenging negative thoughts, cultivating self-compassion, setting realistic goals, seeking support and, most importantly, taking action, you can break free from the limitations of self-doubt and unlock your full potential.
- 15:06Todd: It won't happen overnight.
- 15:08Todd: Embrace the process and remember that self-doubt does not define you.
- 15:13Todd: You are capable of more than you know.
- 15:19Todd: Sorry, if you want support to work on your challenges and would like a coach to guide you through the process, I am currently seeking four clients with whom I can work to give you the tools to overcome anxieties and self-doubt so you can achieve the goals you desire.
- 15:35Todd: I can be reached via the Calendly link in the show notes or at the email address, also listed there as well TAndrusenmonatcom.
- 15:46Todd: That's T-A-N-D-R-E-W-S-E-N, m-o-n-a-t at gmailcom.
- 15:56Todd: That's how you can reach me, especially if you're interested in getting support and working with me.
- 16:06Todd: This has been Todd Talks.
- 16:10Todd: I hope that you have learned that you can overcome your self-doubt, build confidence and, like Alex, soar through the endless beautiful sky, whatever your dream may be.
- 16:26Todd: This has been Todd Talks, where I help you design the life that you desire and, as always, have a blessed day.