Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Do narcissists FEEL BAD later on for what they have done to you?

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Do narcissists FEEL BAD later on for what they have done to you? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, Beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be answering the question, Do
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  narcissists feel bad later on in life for the bad things that
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  they have done to other people? Does it ever catch up with them?
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  Does grief ever hit them later on?
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  If you're new here, I'm a self aware diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back, welcome back,
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  welcome back. You let y'all question of the
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  day, question of the hour, question of the year, question
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  of the century. What kind of bear is best?
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  That's a ridiculous question. False Black bear.
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  Bears eat beets. Y'all know what it is for a
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  drop, drop, drop their reference in the conversation.
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  I appreciate y'all, but yes, y'all.
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  Do narcissists feel bad later on for the things that they have
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  done? Does it ever catch up with them?
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  Does grief hit them later in life or does grief ever hit
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  them? Does remorse ever hit them?
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  Does guilt ever catch up to the narcissist?
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  Or can or narcissist going to be fast as hell and being able to
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  outrun the guilt and the shame and the remorse and the regret
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  the entirety of their life? That's the question, right?
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  And that's the question I'm going to be hammered away at
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  today, y'all. So just before we hop into
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  today's episode, y'all make sure you check out joining in my
• 1:23
  support group called the Mental Healers.
• 1:24
  It's available helps out a lot of people.
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  You can find everything my courses as well at
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  courses.mentalillness.net. But yes, y'all, the question of
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  the day, question of the hour. Do narcissists ever feel bad for
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  what they have done later on? No, So my my therapist has asked
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  me this question before and I tell I told my therapist this
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  before. Y'all might y'all might have
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  heard me say this in videos before, but I'm I'm going to
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  expound upon it deeper today. She like, hey, she like describe
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  how you feel guilt. She like, do you ever feel
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  guilty for anything you do? Describe guilt.
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  And I was told I was just like, you know what I do sometimes.
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  But I'll start feeling guilty in the moment that I've done
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  something right after I've done something.
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  And my mind, I would feel bad and I'll start beating myself
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  up, but in my mind will do these mental gymnastics where it will
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  find a way to justify my actions to me.
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  My own mind will justify my own toxic behaviors and toxic
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  actions to myself. I find it finds a way to do it
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  and this is not me trying to make it up and just say no
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  crazy. My mind finds a way to do it
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  right. My mind finds a way to, to, to,
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  to, to morph and put the blame on the other person.
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  That's the way my mind works and that's how I try to convey it to
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  other people. But in these circumstances and
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  like today's circumstances, the way life goes, so many people
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  are running into narcissistic people, right?
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  And dealing with narcissistic people that don't feel bad at
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  all. Like my guilt would go away and
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  it would blame, I would blame the other person.
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  But this is the caveat. This is the new stuff I've been
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  thinking about lately. Y'all lately it hits me later on
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  y'all the guilt. I can't speak for every single
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  narcissist, but I've I've seen people in the group in my in
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  like in the self aware narcissist group on Facebook
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  that I mean I've seen people in those groups say something very
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  similar. They'll say like I feel bad
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  later. I feel bad years later for
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  something I've done, like for something that they've done
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  years later, they'll start to feel bad.
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  And this type of stuff has been hitting me like a wave every
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  once in a while. Y'all, I'll be driving down the
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  highway. If y'all don't know, I'm a real
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  estate agent in North Carolina, right?
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  And I'll be driving down the highway minding my own damn
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  business. Chilling, chilling like a
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  villain, right? I've been chilling like a
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  villain. I've been driving down the
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  highway doing this type of stuff and then all of a sudden out of
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  nowhere it hits me. Like I'll be sad, like I'll be
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  thinking about something I've done a long time ago and feel
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  shame and feel bad as hell man. I'll be riding down the highway.
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  Like you remember you did that. Like even something I've done
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  even when I was a kid y'all like I was just like when I was 13
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  years old, like we ordered some pizza and I was just hit it from
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  my cousins and was sending ransom notes.
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  Like the pizza is delicious from the guys who are eating it and
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  things like that. I felt bad for that.
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  I'm 39, this is 26 years ago. It'd be hit that y'all you can't
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  control it because narcissists after they feel their guilt in
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  the moment and they find a way to blame you, they it, it seems
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  like it goes away, but it's it's actually stored.
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  It's actually stored up. And I feel like our minds have a
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  limited capacity for certain type of memories.
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  So when we are is getting full, it has to release something.
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  We have to release something, right?
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  So in the moment, if I will feel bad for something I've done 20
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  years ago from an ex I might have cheated on 20 years ago
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  from something mean I might have said to somebody 15 years ago,
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  10 years ago, when I was in a fight I got into at the YMCA
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  when I was 14 years old because somebody said something about my
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  Mama. Damn.
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  They tried to drown somebody. Yeah, my mind.
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  I didn't try to drown him. I knocked him in the pool.
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  I punched him in the pool. They could swim.
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  They were already in the pool. They got out the pool to fight.
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  But I will feel bad and it sucks.
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  I'm telling you, it hits me like a way.
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  But I've seen this other similar, similar people say,
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  what do you do with the guilt for something that you've been
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  storing for 20 years, 10 years, 15 years?
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  You have to acknowledge it. Sometimes the narcissist will
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  still try to find a way to blame the other person, but it's
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  harder 20 years later after you had time to settle in.
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  So I have to acknowledge, to me, I have to acknowledge the stuff
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  that I've done wrong to myself, right in my mind, like even to
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  my mind, like even to like the EP people, my family members, if
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  I'm still around that person in my life right now, that person
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  is still around me in my life right now.
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  I will apologize to stuff I've done in the past.
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  Like you know what, remember that time right here?
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  I'm sorry. I really am sorry.
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  I was in a whole different space of my life right then and there.
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  That doesn't excuse it. Those behaviors were
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  unacceptable. I just let you know, like I
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  still feel bad to this day about that type of stuff and I just
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  had to get out. I just had to let you know, you
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  got to forgive me, but I just had to let you know.
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  I'll say the type of stuff now. That's how I get rid of it.
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  You know, if that person is no longer in my life, I talk about
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  to my therapist or I just write it down.
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  I have it has to go somewhere. I can't sit.
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  I still can't sit with it. I've been sitting with it for 20
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  years. That's why I came back out now.
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  So the best method of have to avoid this stuff in the future
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  is to live a better life right now.
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  So you might have some parents or people.
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  That's why you get these toxic narcissistic people.
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  Sometimes they'd be sick or on their deathbeds that have been
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  excommunicated from their kids or have disconnected from their
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  kids or discarded their kids or the kids stop talking to them.
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  They try to reach out to the kids, try to get the kids to
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  come back to them, try to just get something off their chest,
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  try to feel so they they won't have to feel bad when they're
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  about to crossover. They don't want to feel bad.
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  They'd be like, damn it, you know what?
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  I've been trying to do this, I've been trying to do that.
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  I feel horrible. I've been feeling this right
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  here. I've been feeling that right
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  there. I just, I just feel so bad for
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  the stuff that I've done and stuff that I've said.
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  That's the mindset right there. You know what I mean?
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  That's the mindset, that's the dynamic, that's the way it goes
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  right there. I'm telling you, that's how it
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  happens. Like they it has to be able to
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  go somewhere. It absolutely does.
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  And if it doesn't have anywhere to go, it just manifests and
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  just destroys them from the inside out.
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  Let me give you an example of how this, let me give you an
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  example of how this could come out in a relationship that you
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  have right now with your narcissistic partner or ex or
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  whoever it is. Like, have you ever done
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  something minor and that narcissist blew up at you out of
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  nowhere? Like they took it to the 15th
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  level? You're like, what the hell?
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  All I said was this. Why are you yelling and
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  screaming and throwing stuff at me?
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  A wave, a big old guilt and shame and remorse or regret or
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  whatever hit them. And because you're the closest
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  person to them, they took it out on you.
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  Something they, something that they've done in the past hit
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  them in that moment and they took it out on you.
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  They don't know what else to do with it.
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  They don't know how to process it.
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  A lot of times they're not in contact with their exes that
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  they've done wrong or whoever they've done wrong in their
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  past. They're not in contact with them
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  anymore, so they can't do anything about it.
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  So they take it out on you. They lash out on you and guess
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  what happens? You say how to cycle.
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  Who continues because they haven't dealt with the past
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  stuff. It comes up in the present.
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  They take it out on their present partner and guess what
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  happens in the future? The stuff that they did to you
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  today might hit them like a wave later on.
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  You see, it might, you might, you might still be with them.
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  So you going to get it again. If they don't learn how to
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  process it and do and deal with it in a healthy way, it will
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  almost always come out in an unhealthy way.
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  That's the way it works right there.
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  I'm not saying that there's no in between, but typically that's
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  the way it works right there. If you ever dealt with a
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  narcissist or a toxic person, typically that's the way it's
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  going to work. Typically that's the way it's
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  going to do it. That's that's how we go about
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  doing things right there, y'all. So that's why I've been trying
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  to tell y'all. Like, I mean, I'll be telling
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  y'all, it's not you. It's not your fault that this
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  person is yelling and screaming at you.
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  It's not your fault this person trying to hurt you.
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  It's not your fault. This is what I mean.
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  Like sometimes you won't be even be doing anything and then your
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  narcissistic partner or whoever will try to pick a fight with
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  you. And a lot of times if they've
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  done you wrong and then now you're not together anymore.
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  Let's say you still have to Co parent with them and they're
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  still taking out anger on you. Guess what happens?
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  They're still holding in and stuff.
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  They still trying to blame you for it and don't know what to do
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  with the emotions. They don't know what to do with
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  it. So yeah, some of y'all could
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  call it karma. Some some people will refer to
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  it as karma. Like is that karma?
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  Yeah, it probably is karma it, but it's like brain overload.
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  Like I promise you, I'll be sitting there chilling, having a
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  good day and then a wave will hit me one of these ways.
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  It's like I'm standing on the beach with my eyes closed like
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  this is peaceful. Get knocked off my feet by a
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  tsunami wave. You know what I mean?
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  You know it's going to be like, and this is the post piece I
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  felt along. Bam, what the hell?
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  Knock me off my feet. That's the way it goes.
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  That's how it happens right there.
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  That's the space that so many of us fall into.
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  So many of you fall into as well.
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  That's how it's a very, it's a very sad dynamic to be a part of
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  because again, there's nothing that you can do to control that.
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  There's nothing that you can do to to make that go away for
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  them. That's something that narcissist
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  has to process themselves. And I'm about to start myself
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  with a guy in myself for a narcissist group.
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  He inspired me to start myself with a Sunday series back up.
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  He's like, man, just start it back up.
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  I might just, well, I might just start interviewing narcissist.
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  I might just thought I might just get a narcissist cohost and
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  just chat with him on Sundays and just see how that goes.
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  I used to do that on TikTok, but the dude went crazy.
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  Yeah. Yeah, that's to answer your
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  question. They do feel bad later on in
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  life and it just hits them. And they might not ever reach
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  out to you, but just know that they're not sitting there in
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  peace. Is the waves.
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  The waves are hitting them the way it's there.
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  The waves are absolutely crashing down on them.
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  They're getting hit by waves, but they have, look, they're
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  going to keep getting him by way getting hit by waves until they
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  get off the beach, you know, and it might not ever get off the
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  beach. Wherever they are in life right
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  now, it's not your fault. It's not on you.
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  Anyway, I'm keep this short and sweet 'cause I do have a
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  one-on-one I have to hop on to right now.
• 10:59
  Zoom calls. They are available at
• 11:01
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• 11:04
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  support group and whatnot. Y'all subscribe to the channel
• 11:08
  mental. This is out.
• 11:09
  Peace. Thank you so much for making it
• 11:11
  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
• 11:14
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• 11:16
  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
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  Help us reach more people and click on the screen to watch
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  another video or to browse through another playlist.
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• 11:24
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
• 11:27
  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
• 11:29
  I will see you in the next video.
• 11:30
  Peace.