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Calm The Chaos - Parenting the Most Challenging Child · Other Peoples Parenting

• 0:00
  Are
• 0:00
  you
• 0:00
  ready?
• 0:01
  I
• 0:01
  am.
• 0:01
  Okay.
• 0:01
  Okay.
• 0:02
  Hey,
• 0:02
  everybody.
• 0:03
  Welcome
• 0:03
  back
• 0:04
  to
• 0:04
  another
• 0:04
  episode
• 0:04
  of
• 0:05
  Other
• 0:05
  People's
• 0:05
  Parenting,
• 0:06
  where
• 0:06
  we
• 0:07
  read
• 0:07
  parenting
• 0:07
  books
• 0:08
  and
• 0:08
  review
• 0:08
  them
• 0:08
  for
• 0:09
  you.
• 0:09
  I'm
• 0:10
  Skylar
• 0:10
  Hurwitz,
• 0:11
  amateur
• 0:11
  parent,
• 0:12
  and
• 0:12
  this
• 0:12
  is
• 0:12
  my
• 0:12
  mom,
• 0:13
  Karen
• 0:14
  Quinn.
• 0:14
  She's
• 0:15
  a
• 0:15
  New
• 0:15
  York
• 0:15
  Times
• 0:15
  bestselling
• 0:16
  author
• 0:16
  and
• 0:17
  the
• 0:17
  founder
• 0:17
  of
• 0:17
  Habit
• 0:18
  Coach
• 0:18
  and
• 0:18
  Testing
• 0:19
  Mom.
• 0:19
  Hello,
• 0:19
  Mom.
• 0:20
  Hi,
• 0:20
  Skylar.
• 0:21
  You're
• 0:21
  looking
• 0:21
  very
• 0:22
  bright
• 0:22
  and
• 0:22
  fashionable
• 0:23
  today.
• 0:23
  Well,
• 0:24
  thank
• 0:24
  you.
• 0:24
  I'm
• 0:24
  wearing
• 0:25
  my
• 0:25
  rainbows
• 0:26
  today.
• 0:27
  Iconic,
• 0:27
  I
• 0:28
  know.
• 0:28
  I
• 0:28
  love.
• 0:29
  You
• 0:29
  know,
• 0:29
  I
• 0:30
  have.
• 0:30
  I
• 0:31
  feel
• 0:31
  bad
• 0:31
  because
• 0:32
  the
• 0:32
  unicorn
• 0:32
  stole
• 0:33
  the
• 0:33
  rainbows
• 0:34
  from
• 0:34
  me.
• 0:35
  I
• 0:35
  have
• 0:35
  been
• 0:35
  wearing
• 0:35
  rainbows
• 0:36
  for
• 0:36
  years.
• 0:37
  What
• 0:37
  do
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  mean
• 0:38
  by
• 0:38
  this?
• 0:38
  Every
• 0:39
  unicorn
• 0:39
  picture
• 0:40
  has,
• 0:41
  like,
• 0:41
  a
• 0:41
  rainbow
• 0:42
  coming
• 0:42
  out
• 0:42
  of
• 0:42
  it.
• 0:42
  Haven't
• 0:43
  you
• 0:43
  seen
• 0:43
  that?
• 0:43
  Like,
• 0:43
  for
• 0:44
  kids
• 0:44
  and
• 0:44
  stuff?
• 0:45
  I
• 0:45
  mean,
• 0:45
  were
• 0:46
  you
• 0:46
  around
• 0:46
  before?
• 0:47
  The
• 0:47
  mythological
• 0:48
  creature,
• 0:48
  the
• 0:48
  rainbow?
• 0:49
  No,
• 0:49
  but
• 0:49
  I'm
• 0:49
  just.
• 0:50
  I'm
• 0:50
  like,
• 0:50
  keen,
• 0:50
  don't
• 0:50
  age
• 0:51
  yourself.
• 0:52
  You've
• 0:52
  been
• 0:52
  around
• 0:53
  a
• 0:53
  long
• 0:53
  time
• 0:54
  anyway.
• 0:54
  But
• 0:54
  I
• 0:55
  think
• 0:55
  you
• 0:55
  look
• 0:55
  really
• 0:56
  pretty,
• 0:56
  too.
• 0:56
  I
• 0:56
  like
• 0:57
  your
• 0:57
  pants.
• 0:57
  Thank
• 0:57
  you.
• 0:57
  Thank
• 0:57
  you
• 0:58
  so
• 0:58
  much.
• 0:58
  I'm
• 0:58
  currently
• 0:58
  test
• 0:59
  driving
• 0:59
  these
• 0:59
  pants.
• 1:00
  They
• 1:00
  still
• 1:00
  have
• 1:00
  the
• 1:00
  tag
• 1:01
  on
• 1:01
  them.
• 1:02
  And
• 1:02
  I'll
• 1:03
  tell
• 1:03
  you
• 1:03
  why.
• 1:03
  Because
• 1:04
  they.
• 1:05
  For
• 1:05
  those
• 1:05
  of
• 1:05
  you
• 1:05
  who
• 1:05
  are
• 1:06
  not
• 1:06
  watching,
• 1:06
  I
• 1:06
  am
• 1:07
  currently
• 1:07
  wearing
• 1:08
  eggplant
• 1:09
  colored
• 1:09
  cargo
• 1:10
  pants.
• 1:11
  Now,
• 1:11
  this
• 1:12
  is
• 1:12
  not
• 1:12
  my
• 1:13
  typical
• 1:13
  fashion.
• 1:15
  I've
• 1:15
  been
• 1:15
  looking
• 1:15
  for
• 1:16
  some
• 1:16
  cargo
• 1:16
  pants
• 1:16
  because
• 1:17
  as
• 1:17
  a
• 1:17
  mom,
• 1:18
  I
• 1:18
  need
• 1:18
  a
• 1:19
  lot
• 1:19
  of
• 1:19
  pockets.
• 1:19
  Big
• 1:20
  pockets,
• 1:20
  big
• 1:21
  pockets,
• 1:21
  excessive
• 1:22
  pockets,
• 1:22
  so
• 1:23
  that
• 1:23
  my
• 1:23
  hands
• 1:23
  are
• 1:23
  free
• 1:24
  to
• 1:24
  hold
• 1:24
  my
• 1:24
  baby
• 1:26
  and
• 1:26
  all
• 1:27
  the
• 1:27
  things
• 1:27
  that
• 1:27
  she
• 1:27
  needs
• 1:28
  that
• 1:28
  don't
• 1:28
  fit
• 1:29
  in
• 1:29
  my
• 1:29
  pockets.
• 1:30
  And
• 1:31
  so
• 1:31
  this
• 1:31
  is
• 1:31
  what
• 1:31
  we're
• 1:31
  doing.
• 1:32
  We're
• 1:32
  gonna
• 1:32
  try
• 1:32
  these
• 1:32
  out
• 1:32
  for,
• 1:33
  like,
• 1:33
  a
• 1:33
  week.
• 1:34
  Oh,
• 1:34
  and
• 1:34
  you're
• 1:35
  gonna
• 1:35
  wear
• 1:35
  them?
• 1:35
  Yeah,
• 1:36
  and
• 1:36
  I'm.
• 1:36
  And
• 1:36
  you're
• 1:37
  gonna
• 1:37
  take
• 1:37
  them
• 1:37
  back.
• 1:38
  If
• 1:38
  they
• 1:38
  don't
• 1:39
  serve
• 1:39
  the
• 1:39
  purpose
• 1:39
  I
• 1:40
  need
• 1:40
  of
• 1:40
  them,
• 1:41
  I'm
• 1:41
  gonna
• 1:41
  take
• 1:42
  them
• 1:42
  back.
• 1:43
  They
• 1:44
  might
• 1:44
  know.
• 1:45
  I
• 1:45
  don't
• 1:45
  know.
• 1:45
  I
• 1:46
  don't
• 1:46
  think
• 1:46
  they'll
• 1:46
  care.
• 1:46
  I
• 1:47
  don't
• 1:47
  think
• 1:47
  the
• 1:47
  employees
• 1:48
  at
• 1:48
  Zara
• 1:48
  are,
• 1:49
  like,
• 1:49
  super
• 1:49
  concerned
• 1:50
  about
• 1:50
  the
• 1:51
  condition
• 1:51
  of
• 1:51
  their
• 1:51
  returns.
• 1:52
  Do
• 1:53
  you
• 1:53
  remember
• 1:53
  at
• 1:53
  Bed,
• 1:53
  Bath
• 1:53
  and
• 1:54
  Beyond
• 1:54
  that
• 1:54
  you
• 1:55
  could
• 1:55
  return
• 1:55
  anything,
• 1:56
  no
• 1:56
  questions
• 1:57
  asked?
• 1:57
  Oh,
• 1:57
  yeah.
• 1:58
  I
• 1:58
  have
• 1:58
  a
• 1:59
  terrible
• 1:59
  Bed,
• 1:59
  Bath
• 2:00
  and
• 2:00
  Beyond
• 2:00
  return.
• 2:00
  So
• 2:01
  I'm
• 2:01
  not
• 2:01
  even
• 2:01
  going
• 2:01
  to
• 2:01
  tell
• 2:01
  it
• 2:02
  because.
• 2:02
  Are
• 2:02
  you
• 2:02
  going
• 2:02
  to
• 2:02
  get
• 2:03
  arrested?
• 2:04
  I
• 2:04
  could.
• 2:05
  It's
• 2:05
  bad.
• 2:06
  Is
• 2:06
  it
• 2:06
  that
• 2:07
  bad?
• 2:07
  It
• 2:07
  is
• 2:07
  really
• 2:08
  bad.
• 2:08
  I'll
• 2:08
  tell
• 2:08
  you
• 2:09
  after
• 2:09
  the
• 2:09
  pod
• 2:10
  Off.
• 2:11
  Pod.
• 2:11
  Off.
• 2:11
  Pod.
• 2:12
  Off.
• 2:12
  Pod.
• 2:12
  Yeah,
• 2:12
  I
• 2:13
  have.
• 2:13
  I.
• 2:14
  It's
• 2:14
  bad.
• 2:15
  I
• 2:15
  got
• 2:15
  props
• 2:15
  for
• 2:16
  an
• 2:16
  entire
• 2:16
  feature
• 2:17
  film
• 2:17
  that
• 2:17
  I
• 2:17
  made
• 2:18
  from
• 2:18
  Bed,
• 2:18
  Bath
• 2:19
  and
• 2:19
  Beyond
• 2:19
  and
• 2:20
  returned
• 2:21
  every
• 2:22
  last
• 2:22
  one
• 2:23
  of
• 2:23
  them.
• 2:23
  That's
• 2:23
  bad.
• 2:24
  That's
• 2:24
  pretty
• 2:24
  bad.
• 2:24
  That's
• 2:25
  pretty
• 2:25
  bad.
• 2:25
  Well,
• 2:25
  we
• 2:25
  couldn't
• 2:26
  afford
• 2:26
  them
• 2:26
  on
• 2:26
  our
• 2:27
  budget,
• 2:27
  so
• 2:28
  we
• 2:28
  were
• 2:28
  like,
• 2:28
  you
• 2:28
  know
• 2:28
  what
• 2:29
  it's
• 2:29
  like
• 2:30
  renting
• 2:30
  a
• 2:31
  free.
• 2:32
  Oh,
• 2:32
  God,
• 2:32
  that's
• 2:33
  bad.
• 2:33
  Skylar,
• 2:34
  listen.
• 2:34
  You
• 2:35
  gotta
• 2:35
  do
• 2:35
  what
• 2:35
  you
• 2:35
  gotta
• 2:36
  do.
• 2:36
  I
• 2:36
  guess
• 2:36
  so.
• 2:37
  When
• 2:37
  you're
• 2:37
  a
• 2:37
  young
• 2:37
  artist
• 2:38
  with
• 2:39
  no
• 2:39
  money.
• 2:39
  That's
• 2:40
  true.
• 2:40
  Well,
• 2:40
  we
• 2:40
  paid
• 2:41
  for
• 2:41
  these
• 2:41
  books.
• 2:41
  We
• 2:41
  paid
• 2:42
  for
• 2:42
  these
• 2:42
  books.
• 2:43
  And
• 2:43
  I'll
• 2:43
  be
• 2:43
  totally
• 2:44
  honest,
• 2:44
  this
• 2:44
  was
• 2:45
  not
• 2:45
  one
• 2:45
  of
• 2:45
  my
• 2:45
  faves.
• 2:46
  Well,
• 2:46
  shall
• 2:47
  we
• 2:47
  introduce.
• 2:47
  Yes,
• 2:48
  let's
• 2:48
  introduce
• 2:48
  it.
• 2:48
  It's
• 2:49
  called
• 2:49
  Calm
• 2:49
  the
• 2:50
  Chaos
• 2:50
  Teen.
• 2:51
  Who's
• 2:51
  it
• 2:51
  by?
• 2:52
  Oh,
• 2:52
  it
• 2:52
  is
• 2:53
  by
• 2:53
  Dana
• 2:54
  Abraham.
• 2:55
  Now,
• 2:55
  the
• 2:55
  PhD
• 2:56
  is
• 2:56
  not
• 2:56
  listed,
• 2:56
  which
• 2:56
  leads
• 2:57
  me
• 2:57
  to
• 2:57
  believe
• 2:57
  there
• 2:58
  isn't
• 2:58
  one.
• 2:58
  Which,
• 2:58
  you
• 2:59
  know,
• 2:59
  again,
• 2:59
  I
• 3:00
  can
• 3:00
  appreciate
• 3:01
  person
• 3:01
  just
• 3:01
  deciding
• 3:02
  I
• 3:03
  know
• 3:03
  about
• 3:03
  this
• 3:04
  and
• 3:04
  I'm
• 3:04
  going
• 3:04
  to
• 3:04
  share
• 3:04
  my
• 3:05
  knowledge
• 3:05
  without
• 3:06
  40
• 3:07
  years
• 3:07
  of
• 3:07
  education,
• 3:08
  which
• 3:08
  I
• 3:08
  truly
• 3:09
  not
• 3:09
  sarcastically,
• 3:10
  am
• 3:10
  a
• 3:10
  fan
• 3:10
  of.
• 3:11
  I
• 3:11
  prefer
• 3:12
  information
• 3:12
  from
• 3:12
  people
• 3:13
  who
• 3:13
  have
• 3:13
  experienced
• 3:14
  this,
• 3:14
  who
• 3:14
  lived
• 3:15
  it.
• 3:15
  Yes.
• 3:15
  And
• 3:15
  she
• 3:16
  did.
• 3:16
  She
• 3:16
  did.
• 3:16
  She
• 3:17
  really
• 3:17
  did.
• 3:17
  She
• 3:17
  really
• 3:18
  did.
• 3:18
  I
• 3:18
  think
• 3:18
  part
• 3:19
  of
• 3:19
  the
• 3:19
  reason
• 3:19
  you
• 3:20
  didn't
• 3:20
  like
• 3:20
  it
• 3:20
  and
• 3:20
  we'll
• 3:21
  talk
• 3:21
  about
• 3:21
  it,
• 3:22
  is
• 3:22
  because
• 3:23
  you
• 3:23
  have
• 3:24
  never
• 3:25
  experienced
• 3:27
  what
• 3:27
  she
• 3:27
  has
• 3:28
  experienced
• 3:28
  as
• 3:29
  a
• 3:29
  mother.
• 3:30
  And
• 3:30
  so
• 3:30
  my
• 3:31
  child
• 3:31
  is
• 3:31
  perfect.
• 3:32
  Well,
• 3:32
  so
• 3:32
  far.
• 3:33
  I
• 3:33
  mean,
• 3:33
  she's
• 3:33
  four
• 3:33
  months
• 3:33
  old.
• 3:34
  You
• 3:34
  just.
• 3:35
  She's
• 3:35
  never
• 3:35
  made
• 3:35
  a
• 3:36
  mistake
• 3:36
  in
• 3:36
  her
• 3:36
  life.
• 3:39
  That's
• 3:40
  true.
• 3:40
  That's
• 3:40
  true.
• 3:41
  So.
• 3:41
  Okay.
• 3:42
  Okay.
• 3:42
  No,
• 3:42
  I
• 3:43
  think
• 3:44
  that
• 3:44
  may
• 3:44
  be
• 3:44
  part
• 3:45
  of
• 3:45
  the
• 3:45
  thing
• 3:45
  that
• 3:46
  you
• 3:46
  just
• 3:46
  haven't
• 3:46
  had
• 3:47
  her
• 3:47
  experience.
• 3:48
  But
• 3:48
  you
• 3:48
  have.
• 3:49
  Was
• 3:49
  I
• 3:49
  a
• 3:49
  problem
• 3:50
  child?
• 3:51
  No,
• 3:51
  you
• 3:52
  were
• 3:52
  not.
• 3:53
  Mostly.
• 3:53
  You
• 3:53
  were
• 3:54
  mostly
• 3:54
  not
• 3:54
  a
• 3:55
  problem
• 3:55
  child.
• 3:55
  Well,
• 3:56
  I
• 3:56
  got
• 3:56
  kicked
• 3:56
  out
• 3:56
  of
• 3:56
  schools,
• 3:57
  but
• 3:57
  it
• 3:58
  was
• 3:58
  not
• 3:58
  my
• 3:58
  fault.
• 3:59
  Fault.
• 3:59
  I
• 4:00
  know,
• 4:00
  I
• 4:00
  know.
• 4:01
  You
• 4:01
  did
• 4:01
  get
• 4:01
  kicked
• 4:01
  out
• 4:02
  of
• 4:02
  school.
• 4:02
  How
• 4:02
  nice
• 4:03
  is
• 4:03
  my
• 4:03
  mom
• 4:03
  that
• 4:03
  she
• 4:03
  agrees
• 4:04
  with
• 4:04
  that?
• 4:05
  You
• 4:05
  know
• 4:05
  what
• 4:05
  it's
• 4:06
  like.
• 4:06
  That
• 4:06
  didn't
• 4:07
  really
• 4:07
  phase
• 4:08
  me
• 4:08
  that
• 4:08
  much.
• 4:08
  It's
• 4:09
  like
• 4:09
  I
• 4:09
  could
• 4:09
  handle
• 4:10
  that.
• 4:10
  You're
• 4:10
  a
• 4:10
  literal
• 4:11
  saint.
• 4:11
  I
• 4:11
  am.
• 4:12
  I
• 4:12
  know.
• 4:12
  I
• 4:13
  really
• 4:13
  am.
• 4:14
  You
• 4:14
  know,
• 4:14
  it
• 4:14
  takes
• 4:14
  a
• 4:15
  lot
• 4:15
  to
• 4:15
  throw
• 4:15
  me
• 4:15
  off,
• 4:16
  I
• 4:17
  have
• 4:17
  to
• 4:17
  say.
• 4:18
  In
• 4:18
  fact,
• 4:18
  let
• 4:18
  me
• 4:19
  just
• 4:19
  say
• 4:19
  what
• 4:19
  the
• 4:19
  book
• 4:19
  is
• 4:19
  about
• 4:20
  so
• 4:20
  people
• 4:20
  will
• 4:20
  even
• 4:21
  know
• 4:21
  what
• 4:21
  we're
• 4:21
  talking
• 4:21
  about.
• 4:22
  This
• 4:22
  is
• 4:22
  the
• 4:22
  book
• 4:23
  Calm
• 4:23
  the
• 4:23
  Chaos
• 4:24
  by
• 4:24
  Dana
• 4:25
  Abraham.
• 4:26
  Right.
• 4:26
  Give
• 4:26
  us
• 4:26
  the
• 4:26
  macro.
• 4:27
  The
• 4:27
  macro.
• 4:28
  Okay.
• 4:28
  This
• 4:29
  is
• 4:29
  a
• 4:29
  book
• 4:29
  about
• 4:30
  when
• 4:30
  you
• 4:31
  have
• 4:31
  that
• 4:32
  kid,
• 4:32
  and
• 4:33
  that
• 4:33
  kid
• 4:33
  is
• 4:33
  the
• 4:34
  one
• 4:34
  who's
• 4:34
  out
• 4:35
  of
• 4:35
  control,
• 4:35
  struggling,
• 4:37
  not
• 4:37
  fitting
• 4:37
  in,
• 4:38
  perhaps
• 4:39
  neurodivergent,
• 4:41
  challenged
• 4:42
  in
• 4:42
  a
• 4:42
  big
• 4:42
  way.
• 4:43
  Someone
• 4:44
  who
• 4:44
  is
• 4:44
  causing
• 4:45
  chaos
• 4:45
  at
• 4:46
  school,
• 4:46
  at
• 4:47
  home,
• 4:47
  pain.
• 4:48
  You're
• 4:49
  at
• 4:49
  the
• 4:49
  end
• 4:49
  of
• 4:49
  your
• 4:50
  rope.
• 4:50
  You
• 4:50
  have
• 4:50
  no
• 4:51
  idea
• 4:51
  what
• 4:51
  to
• 4:51
  do
• 4:52
  with
• 4:52
  this
• 4:52
  child.
• 4:53
  And
• 4:54
  who
• 4:54
  is
• 4:54
  the
• 4:54
  kid?
• 4:55
  He's
• 4:55
  the
• 4:56
  kid
• 4:56
  who's
• 4:56
  too
• 4:56
  Emotional
• 4:57
  or
• 4:57
  she.
• 4:58
  Or
• 4:58
  she.
• 4:58
  That's
• 4:59
  true.
• 4:59
  Did
• 4:59
  I
• 4:59
  say
• 4:59
  or
• 5:00
  they
• 5:00
  or
• 5:00
  they?
• 5:01
  Either
• 5:01
  one.
• 5:02
  But
• 5:02
  they're
• 5:02
  too
• 5:02
  emotional,
• 5:03
  they're
• 5:03
  too
• 5:03
  loud.
• 5:04
  They're
• 5:04
  unruly.
• 5:05
  They
• 5:05
  might
• 5:05
  be
• 5:06
  mean,
• 5:06
  they
• 5:06
  might
• 5:06
  be
• 5:07
  aggressive.
• 5:08
  They're
• 5:08
  always
• 5:08
  getting
• 5:08
  in
• 5:09
  trouble.
• 5:09
  They
• 5:10
  might
• 5:10
  be
• 5:10
  distracted
• 5:11
  all
• 5:11
  the
• 5:11
  time.
• 5:12
  They
• 5:12
  won't
• 5:12
  leave
• 5:13
  their
• 5:13
  bedroom.
• 5:15
  Does
• 5:15
  that
• 5:15
  remind
• 5:15
  you
• 5:15
  of
• 5:16
  someone?
• 5:16
  Yes,
• 5:17
  but
• 5:17
  I
• 5:17
  will
• 5:17
  not
• 5:17
  slander
• 5:18
  him.
• 5:19
  They
• 5:20
  engage
• 5:20
  in
• 5:20
  risky
• 5:21
  behaviors
• 5:23
  as
• 5:23
  the
• 5:23
  parent
• 5:23
  of
• 5:24
  that
• 5:24
  child
• 5:25
  are
• 5:25
  thinking,
• 5:26
  you
• 5:26
  know,
• 5:26
  a
• 5:27
  lot
• 5:27
  of
• 5:27
  things
• 5:27
  you
• 5:27
  might
• 5:28
  be
• 5:28
  feeling.
• 5:29
  I
• 5:29
  am
• 5:29
  heartbroken
• 5:30
  for
• 5:30
  this
• 5:30
  child.
• 5:32
  I
• 5:32
  hate
• 5:32
  my
• 5:33
  life.
• 5:33
  Because
• 5:33
  there's
• 5:34
  so
• 5:34
  much
• 5:34
  turmoil
• 5:35
  in
• 5:35
  your
• 5:35
  home.
• 5:36
  I'm
• 5:37
  overwhelmed.
• 5:37
  I
• 5:38
  don't
• 5:38
  know
• 5:38
  what
• 5:38
  to
• 5:38
  do.
• 5:38
  I'm
• 5:39
  ready
• 5:39
  to
• 5:39
  give
• 5:39
  up.
• 5:40
  What
• 5:40
  if
• 5:40
  it
• 5:40
  never
• 5:40
  gets
• 5:41
  better?
• 5:42
  I'm
• 5:43
  scared
• 5:43
  for
• 5:43
  my
• 5:43
  child
• 5:44
  when
• 5:44
  they're
• 5:44
  going
• 5:45
  to
• 5:45
  grow
• 5:45
  up.
• 5:45
  The
• 5:45
  world
• 5:46
  isn't
• 5:46
  going
• 5:46
  to
• 5:46
  put
• 5:46
  up
• 5:47
  with
• 5:47
  this.
• 5:47
  What
• 5:47
  am
• 5:47
  I
• 5:48
  going
• 5:48
  to
• 5:48
  do
• 5:48
  now?
• 5:50
  You
• 5:50
  know?
• 5:51
  And,
• 5:51
  and
• 5:51
  so
• 5:51
  that
• 5:52
  is
• 5:52
  what
• 5:52
  we
• 5:52
  are
• 5:52
  talking
• 5:53
  about
• 5:53
  is
• 5:53
  you
• 5:54
  are
• 5:54
  the
• 5:54
  parent.
• 5:54
  If
• 5:54
  you
• 5:55
  are
• 5:55
  the
• 5:55
  parent
• 5:55
  of
• 5:56
  that
• 5:56
  child
• 5:57
  and
• 5:57
  you
• 5:58
  don't
• 5:58
  know
• 5:58
  what
• 5:58
  to
• 5:58
  do,
• 5:59
  then
• 6:00
  this
• 6:00
  is
• 6:00
  the
• 6:00
  book
• 6:01
  for
• 6:01
  you.
• 6:01
  Yes.
• 6:02
  And.
• 6:03
  Yeah.
• 6:04
  And.
• 6:04
  And
• 6:04
  she
• 6:04
  talks
• 6:05
  about
• 6:05
  the
• 6:05
  child
• 6:06
  in
• 6:06
  general
• 6:06
  as
• 6:07
  kind
• 6:07
  of.
• 6:08
  They're.
• 6:09
  They're
• 6:09
  that
• 6:10
  child
• 6:10
  all
• 6:11
  the
• 6:11
  time.
• 6:12
  Whereas
• 6:13
  I.
• 6:13
  You
• 6:13
  have
• 6:14
  no
• 6:14
  respite.
• 6:15
  No
• 6:15
  respite.
• 6:15
  Like
• 6:16
  it.
• 6:16
  Like
• 6:17
  this
• 6:17
  is
• 6:17
  who
• 6:17
  the
• 6:17
  child
• 6:18
  is
• 6:18
  and
• 6:19
  it's
• 6:20
  sort
• 6:20
  of
• 6:20
  an
• 6:20
  all
• 6:20
  the
• 6:20
  time
• 6:21
  thing.
• 6:21
  Whereas
• 6:22
  I
• 6:22
  would
• 6:22
  say
• 6:24
  I
• 6:24
  took
• 6:24
  it
• 6:24
  to
• 6:25
  be
• 6:25
  a
• 6:25
  little
• 6:25
  bit
• 6:25
  different
• 6:26
  because,
• 6:27
  you
• 6:27
  know,
• 6:27
  I
• 6:28
  would
• 6:28
  say
• 6:28
  that
• 6:29
  I
• 6:29
  had
• 6:29
  a
• 6:30
  child
• 6:30
  who
• 6:30
  was
• 6:31
  that
• 6:31
  child
• 6:32
  a
• 6:32
  few
• 6:33
  times
• 6:33
  in
• 6:33
  his
• 6:34
  life
• 6:34
  for
• 6:34
  periods
• 6:35
  of
• 6:35
  time.
• 6:36
  I
• 6:36
  feel
• 6:36
  like
• 6:36
  that's
• 6:36
  most
• 6:37
  kids,
• 6:38
  maybe
• 6:39
  most
• 6:39
  kids
• 6:39
  go
• 6:40
  through
• 6:41
  difficult
• 6:41
  periods
• 6:42
  where
• 6:42
  their
• 6:42
  parents
• 6:43
  don't
• 6:43
  really
• 6:44
  like
• 6:44
  them.
• 6:44
  And
• 6:44
  I'm
• 6:44
  sure
• 6:45
  they
• 6:45
  don't
• 6:45
  really
• 6:45
  like
• 6:45
  their
• 6:45
  parents
• 6:46
  back.
• 6:46
  Right.
• 6:47
  And
• 6:47
  the
• 6:47
  parent
• 6:47
  does
• 6:48
  not.
• 6:48
  Not
• 6:48
  know
• 6:48
  what
• 6:48
  to
• 6:49
  do.
• 6:49
  Yeah.
• 6:49
  And
• 6:49
  you're
• 6:50
  completely
• 6:50
  flailing.
• 6:51
  Do
• 6:52
  you
• 6:52
  think
• 6:52
  that's
• 6:52
  because,
• 6:53
  I
• 6:54
  mean,
• 6:54
  parents
• 6:55
  were
• 6:55
  kids
• 6:55
  once.
• 6:55
  Right.
• 6:56
  Do
• 6:57
  you
• 6:57
  think
• 6:57
  maybe
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  parents
• 6:58
  were
• 6:58
  difficult
• 6:59
  at
• 6:59
  one
• 6:59
  point,
• 6:59
  but
• 6:59
  maybe
• 6:59
  in
• 7:00
  a
• 7:00
  different
• 7:00
  way?
• 7:01
  Like,
• 7:01
  do
• 7:02
  parents
• 7:02
  ever
• 7:02
  do
• 7:02
  self
• 7:03
  reflection
• 7:04
  and
• 7:04
  say,
• 7:04
  hmm,
• 7:05
  maybe
• 7:05
  I
• 7:06
  was
• 7:06
  this
• 7:06
  way.
• 7:07
  What
• 7:07
  would
• 7:07
  have
• 7:07
  helped
• 7:08
  me?
• 7:09
  You
• 7:09
  know,
• 7:11
  maybe
• 7:11
  in
• 7:12
  my
• 7:12
  case.
• 7:13
  No.
• 7:13
  Because
• 7:14
  I
• 7:14
  was
• 7:14
  a
• 7:14
  really
• 7:14
  good
• 7:15
  girl.
• 7:15
  You
• 7:16
  were
• 7:16
  really
• 7:16
  was.
• 7:17
  You
• 7:17
  were
• 7:17
  an
• 7:17
  angel.
• 7:18
  I
• 7:18
  was.
• 7:18
  But
• 7:18
  you
• 7:18
  had
• 7:19
  two
• 7:19
  really
• 7:19
  difficult
• 7:19
  brothers.
• 7:20
  My
• 7:20
  brothers
• 7:20
  were
• 7:21
  really.
• 7:21
  And
• 7:21
  I
• 7:21
  think
• 7:21
  you
• 7:22
  just
• 7:22
  looked
• 7:22
  at
• 7:22
  your
• 7:22
  mom
• 7:22
  and
• 7:23
  you
• 7:23
  were
• 7:23
  like,
• 7:23
  I'm
• 7:24
  not
• 7:24
  gonna
• 7:24
  do
• 7:24
  this
• 7:24
  to
• 7:24
  you.
• 7:25
  Right.
• 7:25
  I
• 7:25
  had
• 7:25
  to
• 7:26
  be
• 7:26
  good
• 7:26
  because
• 7:27
  my
• 7:27
  brothers
• 7:27
  were
• 7:27
  both
• 7:28
  so
• 7:28
  difficult
• 7:29
  and
• 7:29
  both
• 7:30
  struggled.
• 7:31
  I
• 7:31
  suppose
• 7:32
  maybe
• 7:32
  my
• 7:32
  mother
• 7:33
  might
• 7:33
  have
• 7:33
  felt
• 7:34
  the
• 7:34
  way
• 7:34
  that.
• 7:34
  That
• 7:35
  this.
• 7:35
  The
• 7:35
  mother
• 7:36
  here
• 7:36
  may
• 7:37
  have
• 7:37
  felt
• 7:37
  the
• 7:37
  author,
• 7:39
  although,
• 7:40
  you
• 7:40
  know,
• 7:40
  she
• 7:40
  was
• 7:41
  kind
• 7:41
  of
• 7:41
  busy
• 7:44
  getting
• 7:44
  her
• 7:44
  doctorate.
• 7:45
  Yeah.
• 7:45
  She
• 7:45
  was
• 7:46
  getting
• 7:46
  her
• 7:46
  doctor
• 7:47
  working.
• 7:48
  She
• 7:48
  and
• 7:48
  her.
• 7:48
  My
• 7:49
  dad
• 7:49
  and
• 7:49
  mom
• 7:49
  were
• 7:50
  struggling,
• 7:50
  so
• 7:51
  there
• 7:51
  was
• 7:51
  issues
• 7:52
  in
• 7:52
  the
• 7:52
  house.
• 7:52
  They
• 7:52
  got
• 7:52
  married
• 7:53
  and
• 7:53
  divorced
• 7:53
  several
• 7:53
  times.
• 7:54
  Twice.
• 7:54
  But
• 7:55
  ultimately
• 7:56
  very
• 7:56
  happy.
• 7:57
  Very
• 7:57
  happy
• 7:57
  at
• 7:57
  the
• 7:58
  end,
• 7:58
  but.
• 7:59
  But,
• 7:59
  yeah,
• 7:59
  they
• 7:59
  were
• 7:59
  married,
• 8:00
  divorced.
• 8:00
  That's
• 8:01
  so
• 8:01
  tough.
• 8:01
  Married,
• 8:02
  divorced.
• 8:03
  Well,
• 8:03
  she
• 8:04
  really
• 8:04
  didn't
• 8:04
  put
• 8:04
  up
• 8:05
  with
• 8:05
  anything.
• 8:05
  I
• 8:06
  mean,
• 8:06
  she
• 8:06
  was
• 8:06
  like,
• 8:07
  listen,
• 8:07
  if
• 8:07
  you
• 8:07
  don't
• 8:07
  get
• 8:07
  it
• 8:08
  together,
• 8:08
  I'm
• 8:08
  gonna
• 8:08
  divorce
• 8:09
  you.
• 8:09
  And
• 8:09
  this
• 8:09
  was
• 8:09
  at
• 8:10
  a
• 8:10
  time
• 8:10
  that
• 8:10
  women
• 8:11
  did
• 8:11
  not
• 8:11
  leave
• 8:11
  their
• 8:12
  husbands.
• 8:12
  Right.
• 8:12
  But
• 8:13
  my
• 8:13
  grandmother
• 8:14
  was
• 8:14
  like,
• 8:14
  I
• 8:15
  am
• 8:15
  not
• 8:15
  that
• 8:16
  broad.
• 8:16
  No.
• 8:17
  And
• 8:17
  if
• 8:17
  you
• 8:17
  push
• 8:17
  me,
• 8:18
  I'm
• 8:18
  out.
• 8:19
  And
• 8:19
  he
• 8:20
  was
• 8:20
  like,
• 8:20
  yeah,
• 8:20
  okay,
• 8:21
  girl,
• 8:21
  whatever.
• 8:21
  And
• 8:22
  then
• 8:22
  she
• 8:22
  was
• 8:22
  like,
• 8:23
  bye.
• 8:24
  She
• 8:24
  did
• 8:24
  leave,
• 8:25
  and
• 8:25
  she
• 8:25
  left.
• 8:26
  Right.
• 8:26
  And
• 8:26
  he
• 8:26
  then
• 8:26
  got
• 8:27
  his
• 8:27
  life
• 8:27
  together
• 8:27
  with
• 8:28
  her
• 8:28
  father,
• 8:28
  and
• 8:29
  then
• 8:29
  they
• 8:29
  got
• 8:30
  back
• 8:30
  together,
• 8:31
  and
• 8:31
  they
• 8:31
  were
• 8:32
  very
• 8:32
  happy
• 8:32
  the
• 8:33
  second
• 8:33
  time.
• 8:34
  So
• 8:34
  that
• 8:34
  worked
• 8:34
  out
• 8:35
  really
• 8:35
  well.
• 8:36
  But
• 8:36
  there
• 8:37
  was
• 8:37
  a
• 8:37
  lot
• 8:37
  of
• 8:37
  struggle
• 8:38
  in
• 8:38
  the
• 8:38
  house,
• 8:38
  and
• 8:39
  I
• 8:39
  think
• 8:39
  she
• 8:40
  just
• 8:40
  could
• 8:40
  not
• 8:41
  pay
• 8:41
  attention
• 8:41
  to
• 8:42
  what
• 8:42
  was
• 8:42
  happening
• 8:42
  to
• 8:42
  my
• 8:43
  brothers.
• 8:44
  So.
• 8:44
  I
• 8:44
  don't
• 8:44
  know.
• 8:45
  I
• 8:45
  don't
• 8:46
  know.
• 8:46
  Well,
• 8:46
  no,
• 8:47
  I
• 8:47
  shouldn't
• 8:47
  say.
• 8:48
  She
• 8:49
  and
• 8:49
  my
• 8:49
  father
• 8:49
  did
• 8:50
  go
• 8:50
  through
• 8:50
  some
• 8:51
  very
• 8:51
  hard
• 8:51
  times
• 8:52
  with
• 8:52
  each
• 8:52
  of
• 8:53
  the
• 8:53
  boys.
• 8:53
  Yeah.
• 8:54
  More.
• 8:54
  So
• 8:54
  do
• 8:55
  you
• 8:55
  think
• 8:55
  it
• 8:56
  was
• 8:56
  a
• 8:56
  more
• 8:56
  judgmental
• 8:57
  time
• 8:57
  then
• 8:57
  or
• 8:57
  a
• 8:58
  less
• 8:58
  judgmental,
• 8:59
  like,
• 8:59
  from
• 8:59
  other
• 8:59
  parents
• 9:00
  and
• 9:00
  people
• 9:01
  back
• 9:01
  then?
• 9:02
  I
• 9:02
  feel
• 9:03
  like
• 9:03
  it's
• 9:03
  a
• 9:03
  very
• 9:03
  judgmental
• 9:04
  time.
• 9:04
  We
• 9:04
  live
• 9:04
  in.
• 9:05
  Oh.
• 9:05
  Now.
• 9:05
  But
• 9:05
  I
• 9:06
  think
• 9:06
  back
• 9:06
  then
• 9:06
  it
• 9:07
  was
• 9:07
  very
• 9:07
  judgmental
• 9:08
  also.
• 9:09
  But
• 9:10
  maybe
• 9:11
  people
• 9:12
  knew
• 9:12
  less
• 9:13
  about
• 9:13
  what
• 9:13
  was
• 9:13
  going
• 9:14
  on
• 9:14
  back
• 9:14
  then.
• 9:14
  Somehow
• 9:15
  now,
• 9:16
  I
• 9:16
  don't
• 9:16
  know.
• 9:16
  The
• 9:17
  word
• 9:17
  seems
• 9:17
  to
• 9:17
  get
• 9:17
  out
• 9:18
  more.
• 9:18
  I
• 9:18
  don't.
• 9:18
  I
• 9:19
  don't
• 9:19
  know.
• 9:20
  My
• 9:20
  mother
• 9:21
  felt
• 9:21
  very
• 9:21
  judged
• 9:23
  because,
• 9:23
  you
• 9:24
  know,
• 9:24
  of
• 9:24
  the
• 9:24
  issues
• 9:25
  my
• 9:25
  brothers
• 9:25
  were
• 9:26
  struggling
• 9:26
  with.
• 9:26
  And
• 9:28
  I
• 9:28
  think,
• 9:30
  you
• 9:30
  know,
• 9:30
  like
• 9:30
  I
• 9:31
  said,
• 9:31
  when.
• 9:32
  And
• 9:32
  then
• 9:32
  later,
• 9:33
  you
• 9:34
  know,
• 9:34
  I
• 9:34
  had
• 9:35
  two
• 9:35
  kids.
• 9:36
  You
• 9:37
  were.
• 9:38
  Yeah.
• 9:38
  I
• 9:38
  mean,
• 9:39
  you
• 9:40
  had
• 9:40
  your
• 9:40
  moments.
• 9:41
  You
• 9:41
  had
• 9:42
  your
• 9:42
  difficult
• 9:42
  moments.
• 9:44
  I
• 9:44
  worried
• 9:45
  about
• 9:45
  getting
• 9:45
  you
• 9:45
  through
• 9:46
  school.
• 9:47
  That
• 9:47
  was
• 9:47
  the
• 9:47
  hardest
• 9:47
  thing,
• 9:48
  I
• 9:48
  think,
• 9:48
  trying
• 9:48
  to
• 9:49
  get
• 9:49
  you
• 9:49
  through
• 9:49
  school.
• 9:51
  But
• 9:52
  in
• 9:52
  general,
• 9:53
  you
• 9:53
  were.
• 9:54
  I
• 9:54
  could
• 9:55
  manage
• 9:55
  it,
• 9:55
  you
• 9:56
  know,
• 9:56
  and
• 9:56
  it
• 9:56
  was
• 9:57
  more
• 9:57
  with
• 9:57
  your
• 9:58
  brother
• 9:58
  when
• 9:59
  he
• 9:59
  went
• 9:59
  through
• 9:59
  some
• 9:59
  of
• 10:00
  his
• 10:00
  harder
• 10:00
  times,
• 10:01
  where
• 10:01
  I
• 10:02
  felt,
• 10:03
  I
• 10:03
  don't
• 10:03
  know
• 10:03
  how
• 10:04
  to
• 10:04
  handle
• 10:05
  this.
• 10:05
  And
• 10:06
  I
• 10:06
  remember
• 10:06
  I
• 10:06
  used
• 10:06
  to
• 10:07
  call
• 10:08
  my
• 10:08
  two
• 10:09
  brothers,
• 10:09
  who
• 10:09
  were
• 10:10
  both
• 10:10
  kids
• 10:11
  who
• 10:11
  caused
• 10:12
  a
• 10:12
  lot
• 10:12
  of
• 10:12
  trouble.
• 10:12
  I'm
• 10:13
  like,
• 10:13
  what
• 10:13
  do
• 10:13
  I
• 10:13
  do?
• 10:14
  How
• 10:14
  do
• 10:14
  I
• 10:15
  help?
• 10:15
  How
• 10:15
  can
• 10:15
  I
• 10:16
  help
• 10:16
  him?
• 10:16
  And.
• 10:17
  And
• 10:17
  I
• 10:17
  just
• 10:17
  didn't
• 10:17
  know.
• 10:18
  I
• 10:18
  was
• 10:18
  lost.
• 10:19
  And
• 10:19
  so
• 10:20
  I
• 10:20
  think
• 10:20
  that,
• 10:22
  you
• 10:22
  know,
• 10:23
  if
• 10:23
  you
• 10:23
  are
• 10:24
  that
• 10:24
  parent
• 10:24
  where
• 10:25
  you
• 10:25
  feel
• 10:25
  very
• 10:26
  lost,
• 10:26
  about
• 10:27
  how
• 10:27
  to
• 10:27
  help
• 10:27
  your
• 10:27
  child.
• 10:28
  This
• 10:29
  is
• 10:29
  a
• 10:29
  book
• 10:30
  that
• 10:30
  you
• 10:30
  will
• 10:30
  want
• 10:31
  to
• 10:31
  read
• 10:31
  because
• 10:32
  it
• 10:32
  gives
• 10:32
  you
• 10:34
  ways
• 10:34
  to
• 10:35
  step
• 10:35
  in.
• 10:35
  It
• 10:36
  gives
• 10:36
  you
• 10:36
  steps
• 10:36
  and
• 10:37
  lots
• 10:37
  of.
• 10:37
  Steps
• 10:38
  and
• 10:38
  more
• 10:38
  and
• 10:39
  more
• 10:39
  steps.
• 10:40
  It
• 10:40
  maps
• 10:40
  it
• 10:41
  out
• 10:41
  so
• 10:41
  specifically
• 10:42
  for
• 10:42
  you.
• 10:43
  You
• 10:43
  can't
• 10:43
  get
• 10:44
  it
• 10:44
  wrong.
• 10:44
  Right.
• 10:45
  There
• 10:45
  are.
• 10:45
  It
• 10:46
  gives
• 10:46
  you
• 10:47
  a
• 10:48
  five
• 10:48
  part
• 10:48
  plan
• 10:49
  that
• 10:50
  is
• 10:50
  supposed
• 10:50
  to
• 10:50
  take
• 10:51
  you
• 10:51
  from
• 10:51
  survival.
• 10:52
  Five
• 10:52
  parts
• 10:52
  with
• 10:52
  like
• 10:52
  many
• 10:53
  sub
• 10:53
  parts.
• 10:54
  Many
• 10:54
  sub
• 10:54
  parts.
• 10:55
  And
• 10:55
  the
• 10:55
  sub
• 10:55
  parts
• 10:56
  have
• 10:56
  subparts.
• 10:56
  Yeah,
• 10:57
  yeah.
• 10:57
  And
• 10:57
  you
• 10:57
  know,
• 10:57
  I
• 10:58
  think
• 10:58
  that's
• 10:58
  why.
• 10:58
  I
• 10:58
  struggled
• 10:59
  with
• 10:59
  this
• 10:59
  book
• 10:59
  because
• 11:00
  you
• 11:00
  lose
• 11:00
  me
• 11:00
  at
• 11:00
  sub
• 11:01
  parts.
• 11:02
  So.
• 11:02
  Right.
• 11:02
  So
• 11:03
  many
• 11:03
  subparts
• 11:03
  and
• 11:04
  frameworks
• 11:05
  and
• 11:06
  other
• 11:06
  words
• 11:07
  for
• 11:07
  subparts
• 11:09
  and.
• 11:09
  Yeah,
• 11:10
  exactly.
• 11:11
  Systems,
• 11:11
  frameworks.
• 11:12
  So
• 11:12
  again,
• 11:12
  whatever
• 11:13
  the
• 11:13
  information,
• 11:13
  I'm
• 11:14
  sure
• 11:14
  is
• 11:14
  useful
• 11:15
  to
• 11:15
  people
• 11:15
  who
• 11:16
  need
• 11:16
  it.
• 11:17
  But
• 11:18
  it
• 11:18
  is
• 11:18
  a
• 11:18
  harder
• 11:19
  read
• 11:19
  from
• 11:20
  scientist
• 11:20
  to
• 11:21
  parent.
• 11:21
  How
• 11:21
  readable
• 11:22
  would
• 11:22
  you
• 11:22
  say
• 11:22
  this
• 11:22
  is?
• 11:23
  It
• 11:23
  would
• 11:23
  be,
• 11:23
  I
• 11:24
  would
• 11:24
  say
• 11:26
  maybe
• 11:26
  a
• 11:27
  four
• 11:27
  or
• 11:27
  five.
• 11:28
  There
• 11:28
  are
• 11:28
  surveys
• 11:28
  in
• 11:29
  there
• 11:29
  too.
• 11:29
  I
• 11:29
  actually
• 11:29
  kind
• 11:30
  of
• 11:30
  liked
• 11:30
  the
• 11:30
  surveys.
• 11:30
  Like
• 11:31
  I
• 11:31
  did
• 11:31
  them
• 11:31
  hypothetically,
• 11:32
  like,
• 11:32
  what.
• 11:32
  Kind
• 11:33
  of
• 11:33
  parents
• 11:33
  parent
• 11:33
  are?
• 11:33
  You
• 11:34
  see,
• 11:34
  I
• 11:35
  didn't
• 11:35
  find
• 11:35
  them
• 11:35
  that
• 11:36
  useful.
• 11:36
  Really.
• 11:37
  Yeah.
• 11:37
  Because
• 11:37
  I
• 11:37
  didn't
• 11:38
  think
• 11:38
  at
• 11:38
  any
• 11:38
  one
• 11:39
  of
• 11:39
  the
• 11:39
  surveys
• 11:40
  identified
• 11:40
  the
• 11:41
  kind
• 11:41
  of
• 11:41
  parent
• 11:41
  I
• 11:42
  was,
• 11:42
  which
• 11:43
  is,
• 11:43
  listen,
• 11:44
  I.
• 11:44
  Don'T
• 11:44
  know
• 11:44
  who's
• 11:45
  to
• 11:45
  say
• 11:45
  do
• 11:45
  we
• 11:45
  need
• 11:46
  something?
• 11:46
  But
• 11:46
  I
• 11:46
  love
• 11:47
  survey.
• 11:47
  Usually
• 11:48
  I
• 11:48
  love
• 11:48
  a
• 11:48
  survey.
• 11:49
  I'm
• 11:49
  like,
• 11:49
  ask
• 11:49
  me
• 11:50
  about
• 11:50
  myself.
• 11:50
  I
• 11:51
  know,
• 11:51
  okay,
• 11:51
  this
• 11:52
  is
• 11:52
  how
• 11:52
  I
• 11:52
  think.
• 11:53
  But
• 11:53
  I
• 11:53
  just
• 11:53
  didn't
• 11:53
  think
• 11:54
  it
• 11:54
  really
• 11:54
  identified
• 11:55
  my
• 11:55
  parenting
• 11:56
  style,
• 11:56
  you
• 11:56
  know,
• 11:57
  none
• 11:57
  of
• 11:57
  them
• 11:57
  did
• 11:58
  for
• 11:58
  me.
• 11:59
  Teen,
• 11:59
  you're
• 11:59
  one
• 11:59
  of
• 11:59
  one.
• 12:01
  Well,
• 12:01
  my
• 12:01
  parenting
• 12:02
  style
• 12:02
  is
• 12:02
  like,
• 12:03
  you
• 12:03
  know,
• 12:04
  so
• 12:04
  laissez
• 12:05
  faire.
• 12:05
  Yeah,
• 12:06
  but
• 12:06
  you
• 12:06
  had
• 12:06
  two
• 12:06
  kids
• 12:07
  that
• 12:07
  kind
• 12:07
  of
• 12:07
  needed
• 12:08
  that.
• 12:08
  Yeah,
• 12:09
  because
• 12:09
  we
• 12:09
  were
• 12:09
  rogue,
• 12:10
  we
• 12:10
  were
• 12:10
  independent.
• 12:12
  We
• 12:12
  were
• 12:12
  not
• 12:12
  taking
• 12:12
  authority
• 12:13
  from
• 12:13
  anyone.
• 12:13
  Except
• 12:14
  for
• 12:14
  Bevy,
• 12:14
  our
• 12:15
  babysitter.
• 12:15
  Right,
• 12:16
  exactly.
• 12:16
  She
• 12:16
  was
• 12:17
  the
• 12:17
  only
• 12:17
  one
• 12:17
  who
• 12:17
  could
• 12:17
  crack
• 12:18
  the
• 12:18
  whip.
• 12:18
  And
• 12:18
  everybody
• 12:19
  else,
• 12:19
  we
• 12:19
  were
• 12:19
  like.
• 12:20
  Right.
• 12:21
  Thank
• 12:21
  God.
• 12:21
  No.
• 12:22
  Yeah,
• 12:23
  yeah.
• 12:23
  No.
• 12:23
  But
• 12:24
  if
• 12:24
  you
• 12:24
  are
• 12:24
  a
• 12:24
  parent
• 12:25
  and
• 12:26
  you
• 12:26
  have
• 12:26
  a
• 12:26
  child
• 12:27
  who
• 12:27
  is
• 12:27
  that
• 12:28
  child
• 12:28
  in
• 12:28
  some
• 12:29
  way,
• 12:29
  whether
• 12:29
  he's
• 12:29
  the.
• 12:30
  Or
• 12:30
  she
• 12:30
  is
• 12:31
  that
• 12:31
  way
• 12:31
  all
• 12:31
  the
• 12:32
  time,
• 12:32
  whether
• 12:33
  it's
• 12:33
  a
• 12:33
  phase
• 12:33
  they're
• 12:34
  going
• 12:34
  through,
• 12:34
  I
• 12:35
  would
• 12:35
  say
• 12:35
  this
• 12:35
  book
• 12:35
  would
• 12:36
  be
• 12:36
  worth
• 12:37
  struggling
• 12:37
  through
• 12:39
  because
• 12:39
  there
• 12:40
  are
• 12:40
  parts
• 12:40
  and
• 12:41
  subparts
• 12:41
  and
• 12:42
  it
• 12:42
  would
• 12:42
  be
• 12:42
  worth
• 12:43
  reading
• 12:43
  to
• 12:43
  try
• 12:44
  to
• 12:44
  get
• 12:44
  ideas.
• 12:45
  I
• 12:45
  wonder
• 12:46
  if
• 12:46
  it's
• 12:46
  meant
• 12:46
  to
• 12:46
  be
• 12:47
  read
• 12:47
  a
• 12:47
  little
• 12:48
  bit
• 12:48
  at
• 12:48
  a
• 12:48
  time.
• 12:49
  Like
• 12:49
  you
• 12:50
  do
• 12:50
  a
• 12:50
  few
• 12:50
  steps
• 12:51
  and
• 12:51
  then
• 12:51
  you
• 12:51
  come
• 12:52
  back
• 12:52
  to
• 12:52
  the
• 12:52
  book
• 12:52
  when
• 12:53
  you
• 12:53
  complete
• 12:53
  those
• 12:53
  steps.
• 12:54
  I
• 12:54
  feel
• 12:55
  like
• 12:55
  I
• 12:55
  would
• 12:55
  have
• 12:55
  had
• 12:55
  an
• 12:56
  easier
• 12:56
  time
• 12:57
  than
• 12:57
  reading
• 12:57
  it
• 12:57
  straight
• 12:58
  through
• 12:58
  through
• 12:58
  if
• 12:59
  I
• 12:59
  were
• 12:59
  actually
• 13:00
  putting
• 13:00
  it
• 13:01
  all
• 13:01
  into
• 13:01
  action.
• 13:02
  Good
• 13:03
  point.
• 13:03
  That's
• 13:03
  a
• 13:03
  good
• 13:04
  point,
• 13:04
  because,
• 13:04
  you
• 13:04
  know,
• 13:05
  there's
• 13:06
  five
• 13:06
  parts
• 13:06
  to
• 13:06
  the
• 13:07
  main
• 13:07
  plan.
• 13:08
  So
• 13:08
  maybe
• 13:08
  you
• 13:08
  start
• 13:09
  with
• 13:09
  part
• 13:09
  one
• 13:09
  and
• 13:09
  just
• 13:10
  do
• 13:10
  that.
• 13:10
  Just
• 13:10
  execute
• 13:11
  part
• 13:11
  one.
• 13:12
  Let's
• 13:12
  start
• 13:12
  with
• 13:12
  that
• 13:13
  foundation.
• 13:13
  Try
• 13:13
  to
• 13:13
  read
• 13:14
  the
• 13:14
  whole
• 13:14
  thing.
• 13:15
  Do
• 13:15
  that.
• 13:16
  You
• 13:16
  know,
• 13:16
  I
• 13:17
  want
• 13:17
  to
• 13:17
  say
• 13:18
  one
• 13:18
  of
• 13:18
  the
• 13:18
  smartest
• 13:19
  things
• 13:19
  that
• 13:20
  I've
• 13:20
  ever
• 13:20
  heard
• 13:21
  about
• 13:21
  parenting
• 13:22
  is
• 13:23
  that
• 13:23
  you
• 13:24
  can
• 13:24
  only
• 13:24
  be
• 13:25
  as
• 13:25
  happy
• 13:25
  as.
• 13:26
  As
• 13:26
  your
• 13:26
  least
• 13:26
  happy
• 13:27
  child.
• 13:28
  My
• 13:28
  grandmother
• 13:29
  said
• 13:29
  that.
• 13:29
  I'm
• 13:30
  sure
• 13:30
  she
• 13:30
  didn't
• 13:30
  make
• 13:31
  it
• 13:31
  up.
• 13:31
  Someone
• 13:31
  else
• 13:31
  must
• 13:32
  have
• 13:32
  said
• 13:32
  it,
• 13:32
  because
• 13:32
  then
• 13:33
  my
• 13:33
  mother
• 13:33
  said
• 13:33
  it.
• 13:34
  But
• 13:35
  I
• 13:35
  think
• 13:35
  that
• 13:35
  is
• 13:35
  true,
• 13:36
  because
• 13:37
  when
• 13:37
  you
• 13:38
  guys
• 13:38
  were
• 13:38
  not
• 13:38
  happy,
• 13:39
  I
• 13:40
  wasn't
• 13:40
  happy.
• 13:41
  And
• 13:41
  anytime
• 13:41
  you're
• 13:42
  not
• 13:42
  happy,
• 13:42
  I'm
• 13:43
  not.
• 13:43
  I
• 13:43
  am
• 13:43
  just
• 13:44
  as
• 13:44
  unhappy
• 13:44
  as
• 13:44
  you
• 13:45
  are
• 13:45
  at
• 13:45
  that
• 13:45
  point.
• 13:46
  The
• 13:46
  smartest
• 13:46
  thing
• 13:46
  your
• 13:47
  grandma
• 13:47
  said
• 13:47
  to
• 13:47
  me
• 13:47
  is,
• 13:48
  don't
• 13:48
  marry
• 13:48
  someone
• 13:48
  you
• 13:49
  don't
• 13:49
  want
• 13:49
  to
• 13:49
  be
• 13:49
  divorced
• 13:50
  from.
• 13:50
  Oh,
• 13:51
  yeah,
• 13:51
  that's
• 13:51
  a
• 13:51
  good
• 13:52
  point.
• 13:52
  That's
• 13:52
  good
• 13:52
  advice.
• 13:53
  That's
• 13:53
  good
• 13:53
  advice.
• 13:53
  I
• 13:54
  was
• 13:54
  like,
• 13:54
  mimi,
• 13:55
  what
• 13:55
  have
• 13:55
  you
• 13:55
  been
• 13:55
  through?
• 13:55
  What
• 13:56
  have
• 13:56
  you
• 13:56
  seen?
• 13:56
  Did
• 13:57
  she
• 13:57
  say
• 13:57
  that?
• 13:57
  Yeah.
• 13:58
  And
• 13:58
  I
• 13:58
  was
• 13:58
  like,
• 13:58
  I
• 13:58
  thought
• 13:59
  you
• 13:59
  had
• 13:59
  a
• 13:59
  pretty
• 13:59
  happy
• 14:00
  marriage,
• 14:00
  but
• 14:00
  maybe
• 14:01
  I
• 14:01
  was
• 14:01
  wrong.
• 14:02
  I
• 14:02
  thought
• 14:02
  she
• 14:03
  did
• 14:03
  too.
• 14:03
  Well,
• 14:04
  anyway.
• 14:04
  Yeah,
• 14:05
  grandmotherly
• 14:06
  advice.
• 14:06
  That.
• 14:06
  That's
• 14:07
  your
• 14:08
  grandma
• 14:08
  now.
• 14:08
  Congrats.
• 14:09
  I'll
• 14:09
  have
• 14:09
  to
• 14:09
  give
• 14:09
  you
• 14:10
  lots
• 14:10
  of
• 14:10
  advice.
• 14:10
  Well,
• 14:11
  you
• 14:11
  can
• 14:11
  give
• 14:11
  my
• 14:11
  child
• 14:12
  advice.
• 14:12
  Oh,
• 14:12
  that's
• 14:12
  true.
• 14:13
  You
• 14:13
  give
• 14:13
  me
• 14:13
  advice
• 14:13
  too.
• 14:14
  I
• 14:14
  do,
• 14:14
  I
• 14:15
  do.
• 14:15
  But,
• 14:15
  you
• 14:15
  know,
• 14:15
  you're
• 14:15
  not
• 14:16
  my
• 14:16
  grandmother.
• 14:17
  All
• 14:17
  right,
• 14:17
  anyway,
• 14:18
  part
• 14:18
  one
• 14:19
  of
• 14:19
  the
• 14:19
  plan.
• 14:19
  Let's
• 14:19
  start
• 14:20
  with
• 14:20
  part
• 14:20
  one.
• 14:20
  Part
• 14:21
  one.
• 14:21
  Okay.
• 14:21
  You
• 14:22
  want
• 14:22
  to
• 14:22
  talk
• 14:22
  about
• 14:22
  part?
• 14:22
  Sure.
• 14:23
  Okay.
• 14:23
  So
• 14:24
  part
• 14:24
  one
• 14:24
  talks
• 14:25
  about
• 14:25
  how
• 14:25
  when
• 14:25
  your
• 14:25
  child
• 14:25
  is
• 14:26
  in
• 14:26
  chaos,
• 14:26
  start
• 14:27
  with
• 14:27
  your
• 14:27
  own
• 14:27
  responses
• 14:28
  and
• 14:28
  give
• 14:28
  the
• 14:29
  tools
• 14:30
  to
• 14:30
  help
• 14:30
  you,
• 14:31
  like.
• 14:31
  Oh,
• 14:32
  okay,
• 14:32
  I
• 14:32
  see
• 14:32
  what
• 14:32
  you
• 14:32
  said.
• 14:33
  The
• 14:33
  author
• 14:33
  gives
• 14:33
  the
• 14:33
  author.
• 14:34
  So
• 14:34
  she.
• 14:34
  She
• 14:35
  talks
• 14:35
  about
• 14:35
  things.
• 14:35
  And
• 14:35
  you've
• 14:36
  probably
• 14:36
  read
• 14:36
  these
• 14:36
  before.
• 14:37
  If
• 14:37
  you've
• 14:37
  read
• 14:37
  any
• 14:37
  sort
• 14:37
  of
• 14:38
  self
• 14:38
  help
• 14:38
  book
• 14:38
  or
• 14:39
  help
• 14:39
  your
• 14:39
  child
• 14:40
  book,
• 14:40
  it's
• 14:41
  breathing
• 14:41
  techniques
• 14:43
  keep
• 14:43
  your
• 14:43
  words
• 14:43
  to
• 14:44
  a
• 14:44
  minimum,
• 14:44
  which
• 14:44
  I
• 14:44
  think
• 14:44
  is
• 14:45
  pretty
• 14:45
  smart.
• 14:45
  Because
• 14:46
  when
• 14:46
  kids
• 14:46
  are
• 14:46
  flooding
• 14:47
  and
• 14:47
  people
• 14:47
  in
• 14:48
  general,
• 14:49
  it's
• 14:49
  really
• 14:49
  hard
• 14:49
  to
• 14:49
  process
• 14:50
  verbal
• 14:51
  instructions.
• 14:52
  So
• 14:52
  few
• 14:52
  words,
• 14:53
  lots
• 14:54
  of
• 14:54
  deep
• 14:54
  breaths.
• 14:54
  And
• 14:55
  when
• 14:55
  somebody
• 14:55
  has
• 14:55
  sort
• 14:56
  of
• 14:56
  come
• 14:56
  down,
• 14:56
  that's
• 14:57
  when
• 14:57
  you
• 14:57
  can
• 14:57
  give
• 14:57
  them
• 14:58
  more
• 14:58
  verbal
• 14:59
  instruction.
• 15:02
  Keep
• 15:02
  your
• 15:02
  voice
• 15:03
  soft
• 15:03
  and
• 15:04
  lower
• 15:05
  your
• 15:05
  body
• 15:06
  so
• 15:06
  that
• 15:06
  you
• 15:06
  are
• 15:07
  ideally
• 15:07
  at
• 15:07
  eye
• 15:08
  level
• 15:08
  with
• 15:08
  your
• 15:09
  child.
• 15:10
  When
• 15:10
  kids
• 15:10
  are
• 15:10
  being
• 15:11
  loomed
• 15:11
  over,
• 15:12
  they're
• 15:12
  not
• 15:12
  gonna
• 15:13
  respond
• 15:13
  very
• 15:13
  well.
• 15:15
  It
• 15:15
  also.
• 15:15
  She
• 15:16
  says
• 15:16
  that
• 15:16
  kids
• 15:16
  need
• 15:17
  five
• 15:17
  positive
• 15:18
  interactions
• 15:18
  for
• 15:19
  every
• 15:19
  one
• 15:20
  negative
• 15:20
  interaction
• 15:21
  to
• 15:22
  establish
• 15:22
  a
• 15:22
  high
• 15:22
  level
• 15:23
  of
• 15:23
  affection
• 15:23
  and
• 15:23
  trust
• 15:24
  with
• 15:24
  you.
• 15:25
  So
• 15:25
  do
• 15:25
  you
• 15:25
  want
• 15:26
  to
• 15:26
  talk
• 15:26
  about
• 15:26
  the
• 15:26
  magic
• 15:26
  reset
• 15:27
  button?
• 15:27
  Well,
• 15:27
  she
• 15:27
  calls
• 15:28
  this
• 15:28
  the
• 15:28
  magic
• 15:28
  reset
• 15:29
  button.
• 15:29
  I'm
• 15:30
  not
• 15:30
  sure
• 15:30
  why,
• 15:30
  but
• 15:31
  I
• 15:31
  guess
• 15:31
  she
• 15:31
  gave
• 15:31
  things
• 15:32
  names.
• 15:33
  She
• 15:33
  likes
• 15:33
  to
• 15:33
  name
• 15:33
  things.
• 15:34
  Yeah,
• 15:34
  she's
• 15:34
  a
• 15:34
  namer.
• 15:35
  She's
• 15:35
  a
• 15:35
  namer.
• 15:35
  And
• 15:36
  so
• 15:36
  the
• 15:37
  idea
• 15:37
  is,
• 15:37
  remember,
• 15:38
  go
• 15:38
  back
• 15:38
  to
• 15:39
  the
• 15:39
  magic
• 15:39
  reset
• 15:40
  button,
• 15:40
  which.
• 15:40
  This
• 15:41
  is
• 15:41
  good
• 15:41
  advice.
• 15:42
  She
• 15:42
  says
• 15:42
  you're
• 15:42
  always
• 15:42
  looking
• 15:43
  for
• 15:44
  small
• 15:44
  moments
• 15:45
  of
• 15:45
  true
• 15:45
  connection
• 15:46
  with
• 15:46
  your
• 15:46
  child.
• 15:48
  It
• 15:48
  can
• 15:48
  be
• 15:48
  bigger
• 15:49
  things,
• 15:50
  like,
• 15:50
  you
• 15:50
  know,
• 15:50
  take
• 15:51
  them
• 15:51
  out
• 15:52
  to
• 15:52
  play
• 15:53
  mini
• 15:53
  golf
• 15:54
  or
• 15:54
  go
• 15:55
  to
• 15:55
  the
• 15:55
  movies
• 15:55
  with
• 15:55
  them
• 15:56
  or
• 15:56
  just
• 15:56
  do
• 15:57
  something
• 15:57
  fun,
• 15:57
  read
• 15:58
  to
• 15:58
  them,
• 15:58
  whatever.
• 16:00
  But
• 16:00
  also
• 16:00
  she
• 16:01
  talks
• 16:01
  a
• 16:01
  lot
• 16:01
  about
• 16:01
  these
• 16:02
  in
• 16:02
  between
• 16:02
  moments
• 16:03
  that
• 16:03
  are
• 16:03
  very
• 16:04
  small,
• 16:05
  like
• 16:05
  when
• 16:05
  you
• 16:05
  walk
• 16:05
  by,
• 16:06
  touch
• 16:06
  their
• 16:07
  shoulder,
• 16:08
  or
• 16:09
  just
• 16:09
  sit
• 16:09
  next
• 16:09
  to
• 16:10
  them
• 16:10
  when
• 16:10
  they're
• 16:10
  watching
• 16:11
  tv.
• 16:12
  Just
• 16:13
  give
• 16:13
  them
• 16:13
  little
• 16:14
  positive
• 16:14
  moments
• 16:15
  of
• 16:15
  connection.
• 16:17
  You
• 16:17
  could
• 16:17
  send
• 16:17
  them
• 16:17
  a
• 16:18
  positive
• 16:18
  text.
• 16:18
  You
• 16:19
  put.
• 16:20
  Put
• 16:20
  a
• 16:20
  little
• 16:20
  note
• 16:20
  in
• 16:21
  their
• 16:21
  lunchbox.
• 16:21
  You
• 16:21
  know,
• 16:22
  just
• 16:22
  little.
• 16:23
  Yeah,
• 16:23
  Did
• 16:23
  I
• 16:24
  ever
• 16:24
  do
• 16:24
  that
• 16:24
  to
• 16:25
  you?
• 16:25
  I.
• 16:25
  We
• 16:26
  had.
• 16:26
  I
• 16:26
  had
• 16:27
  lunch.
• 16:27
  So
• 16:27
  none
• 16:28
  of
• 16:28
  the
• 16:28
  schools
• 16:28
  I
• 16:28
  went
• 16:28
  to
• 16:28
  had
• 16:29
  cafeterias
• 16:29
  because
• 16:30
  they
• 16:30
  were
• 16:30
  in
• 16:30
  New
• 16:30
  York
• 16:30
  City.
• 16:31
  And
• 16:31
  so
• 16:31
  from
• 16:32
  when
• 16:32
  we
• 16:32
  were
• 16:32
  in,
• 16:32
  like,
• 16:33
  fifth
• 16:33
  grade,
• 16:34
  they
• 16:34
  would
• 16:34
  turn
• 16:35
  us
• 16:35
  loose,
• 16:35
  essentially,
• 16:36
  and
• 16:36
  be
• 16:36
  like,
• 16:37
  when
• 16:38
  you.
• 16:38
  Were
• 16:38
  younger,
• 16:39
  I
• 16:40
  ate
• 16:40
  every
• 16:40
  single
• 16:40
  day.
• 16:41
  I
• 16:41
  ate,
• 16:43
  not
• 16:43
  pastrami,
• 16:44
  salami
• 16:45
  wrapped
• 16:45
  in
• 16:46
  lettuce
• 16:46
  with
• 16:46
  baby
• 16:47
  cor
• 16:49
  at
• 16:49
  my
• 16:49
  cafeteria.
• 16:50
  I
• 16:50
  ate
• 16:50
  it
• 16:50
  every
• 16:50
  day.
• 16:51
  Okay.
• 16:51
  For
• 16:51
  six
• 16:52
  years.
• 16:52
  So
• 16:52
  no
• 16:53
  little
• 16:53
  notes?
• 16:53
  No,
• 16:54
  I
• 16:54
  never
• 16:54
  did
• 16:54
  that.
• 16:54
  No.
• 16:55
  Oh,
• 16:55
  too
• 16:55
  bad.
• 16:55
  I
• 16:56
  was
• 16:56
  a
• 16:56
  salad
• 16:56
  bar.
• 16:57
  I
• 16:57
  think
• 16:57
  that's
• 16:57
  a
• 16:57
  nice
• 16:58
  thing.
• 16:58
  That
• 16:58
  would
• 16:58
  be
• 16:58
  a
• 16:59
  nice.
• 16:59
  Super
• 17:00
  cute.
• 17:00
  Nice
• 17:00
  to
• 17:01
  do.
• 17:01
  But
• 17:02
  she's
• 17:02
  saying,
• 17:03
  look
• 17:03
  for
• 17:03
  these
• 17:03
  little,
• 17:04
  tiny,
• 17:04
  small
• 17:05
  positive
• 17:05
  interactions
• 17:06
  you
• 17:06
  can
• 17:06
  do
• 17:06
  with
• 17:06
  your
• 17:06
  child
• 17:07
  because
• 17:08
  they
• 17:08
  build
• 17:08
  up
• 17:09
  trust
• 17:09
  and
• 17:09
  affection.
• 17:10
  And
• 17:10
  especially
• 17:10
  when
• 17:11
  you
• 17:11
  have
• 17:11
  a
• 17:11
  child
• 17:11
  who
• 17:12
  spins
• 17:13
  out
• 17:13
  of
• 17:13
  control,
• 17:14
  you
• 17:14
  need
• 17:14
  a
• 17:15
  lot
• 17:15
  of
• 17:15
  positive
• 17:15
  moments
• 17:16
  because
• 17:17
  you're
• 17:17
  going
• 17:17
  to
• 17:17
  be
• 17:17
  having
• 17:17
  a
• 17:17
  lot
• 17:18
  of
• 17:18
  negative
• 17:18
  moments,
• 17:18
  too,
• 17:19
  when
• 17:19
  things
• 17:20
  aren't
• 17:20
  going
• 17:20
  well.
• 17:22
  She
• 17:22
  also
• 17:22
  says
• 17:23
  that
• 17:23
  you
• 17:23
  should.
• 17:25
  She
• 17:25
  says
• 17:25
  all
• 17:26
  behavior
• 17:26
  is
• 17:26
  communication.
• 17:28
  And
• 17:28
  she
• 17:28
  gives
• 17:29
  you
• 17:29
  a
• 17:29
  chart
• 17:29
  to
• 17:30
  try
• 17:30
  to
• 17:30
  uncover
• 17:31
  what
• 17:32
  might
• 17:32
  be
• 17:32
  behind
• 17:33
  your
• 17:33
  child's
• 17:33
  misbehavior.
• 17:34
  For
• 17:35
  example,
• 17:35
  if
• 17:36
  your
• 17:36
  child
• 17:36
  kicks
• 17:37
  or
• 17:37
  hits,
• 17:38
  that's
• 17:38
  a
• 17:39
  fight
• 17:39
  stress
• 17:40
  response.
• 17:41
  And
• 17:41
  maybe
• 17:42
  your
• 17:42
  child
• 17:43
  just
• 17:44
  doesn't
• 17:44
  know
• 17:44
  how
• 17:44
  to
• 17:44
  problem
• 17:45
  solve.
• 17:46
  Or
• 17:46
  maybe
• 17:47
  there's
• 17:47
  too
• 17:47
  much
• 17:48
  sensory
• 17:48
  input
• 17:49
  that's
• 17:49
  getting
• 17:49
  them
• 17:50
  upset.
• 17:50
  I
• 17:51
  try
• 17:51
  to
• 17:51
  look
• 17:51
  for
• 17:51
  what's
• 17:52
  behind
• 17:52
  their
• 17:52
  behavior.
• 17:53
  Kids
• 17:53
  are
• 17:53
  easily
• 17:54
  overstimulated.
• 17:54
  I
• 17:55
  think
• 17:55
  we
• 17:56
  underestimate
• 17:57
  how
• 17:57
  easy
• 17:58
  it
• 17:58
  is
• 17:58
  to
• 17:58
  overstimulate
• 17:59
  a
• 17:59
  kid
• 17:59
  and
• 18:00
  have
• 18:00
  them
• 18:00
  spin
• 18:01
  out.
• 18:01
  Yeah.
• 18:01
  You
• 18:01
  know,
• 18:02
  like
• 18:02
  too
• 18:02
  long
• 18:03
  at
• 18:03
  any
• 18:03
  one
• 18:03
  thing.
• 18:04
  Or
• 18:05
  they
• 18:05
  talk
• 18:05
  about,
• 18:05
  like,
• 18:06
  things
• 18:06
  like
• 18:07
  lights
• 18:08
  and
• 18:08
  large
• 18:08
  sounds
• 18:09
  and
• 18:09
  things
• 18:09
  like
• 18:09
  that.
• 18:10
  And
• 18:10
  it's
• 18:10
  like
• 18:10
  sensory
• 18:11
  input
• 18:12
  even
• 18:12
  for
• 18:13
  Me?
• 18:13
  Yeah.
• 18:13
  Sometimes
• 18:14
  I
• 18:15
  hit
• 18:15
  a
• 18:15
  point
• 18:15
  where
• 18:15
  I
• 18:16
  just,
• 18:16
  like,
• 18:16
  disassociate
• 18:17
  too
• 18:17
  much.
• 18:17
  Yeah.
• 18:18
  It's
• 18:18
  like
• 18:18
  an
• 18:18
  assault
• 18:19
  on
• 18:19
  the
• 18:19
  senses.
• 18:19
  Yeah.
• 18:20
  And
• 18:20
  they
• 18:20
  have
• 18:20
  a
• 18:20
  lower
• 18:21
  threshold
• 18:21
  for
• 18:21
  stuff
• 18:22
  like
• 18:22
  that.
• 18:22
  Right.
• 18:23
  So
• 18:23
  try
• 18:23
  to
• 18:23
  figure
• 18:24
  out
• 18:24
  what
• 18:24
  might
• 18:24
  be
• 18:25
  behind
• 18:25
  your
• 18:25
  child's
• 18:26
  bad
• 18:26
  behavior.
• 18:27
  But,
• 18:28
  you
• 18:28
  know,
• 18:28
  I
• 18:28
  was
• 18:28
  thinking
• 18:28
  about
• 18:28
  that,
• 18:29
  and
• 18:29
  I
• 18:29
  was
• 18:29
  thinking
• 18:29
  about
• 18:30
  once
• 18:30
  when
• 18:30
  I
• 18:30
  was
• 18:30
  a
• 18:31
  child.
• 18:32
  I
• 18:32
  remember
• 18:33
  I
• 18:33
  locked
• 18:33
  everybody
• 18:34
  in
• 18:34
  my
• 18:34
  home
• 18:35
  out
• 18:35
  of
• 18:35
  the
• 18:35
  house.
• 18:36
  I
• 18:36
  locked
• 18:37
  every
• 18:37
  window.
• 18:37
  On
• 18:37
  purpose.
• 18:38
  Yeah,
• 18:39
  I
• 18:39
  did.
• 18:40
  And
• 18:40
  I
• 18:40
  don't
• 18:40
  know
• 18:41
  why
• 18:41
  I
• 18:41
  was
• 18:41
  doing
• 18:42
  that.
• 18:42
  I
• 18:42
  can't
• 18:43
  even
• 18:43
  explain
• 18:44
  it.
• 18:44
  You
• 18:44
  just
• 18:45
  had
• 18:45
  the
• 18:45
  urge.
• 18:45
  I
• 18:45
  just
• 18:46
  wanted
• 18:46
  to
• 18:46
  be
• 18:47
  mean
• 18:47
  and
• 18:47
  bad,
• 18:48
  and
• 18:49
  I
• 18:49
  did
• 18:50
  that.
• 18:50
  And
• 18:51
  I
• 18:51
  did
• 18:51
  get
• 18:51
  a
• 18:51
  spanking
• 18:52
  for
• 18:52
  it.
• 18:53
  But
• 18:54
  I'm
• 18:54
  thinking
• 18:54
  if
• 18:54
  my
• 18:55
  mom
• 18:55
  was
• 18:55
  trying
• 18:55
  to
• 18:55
  figure
• 18:56
  out
• 18:56
  why
• 18:56
  I
• 18:56
  did
• 18:56
  it,
• 18:56
  I
• 18:57
  have
• 18:57
  no
• 18:57
  idea.
• 18:58
  I
• 18:58
  think
• 18:59
  I
• 18:59
  just
• 18:59
  thought
• 18:59
  it
• 18:59
  might
• 18:59
  be
• 19:00
  fun
• 19:00
  to
• 19:00
  do
• 19:00
  that
• 19:00
  sometimes.
• 19:01
  Kids
• 19:01
  are
• 19:01
  mysterious.
• 19:03
  So
• 19:04
  funny.
• 19:05
  And
• 19:05
  I
• 19:05
  was
• 19:05
  a
• 19:06
  good
• 19:06
  kid.
• 19:06
  Mostly
• 19:06
  I
• 19:07
  just
• 19:07
  picture
• 19:07
  you
• 19:07
  sitting
• 19:07
  in
• 19:07
  the
• 19:08
  middle
• 19:08
  of
• 19:08
  your
• 19:08
  house.
• 19:08
  Like
• 19:09
  everybody's
• 19:10
  locked
• 19:10
  out
• 19:10
  and
• 19:11
  they're
• 19:11
  all
• 19:11
  banging
• 19:11
  at
• 19:11
  the
• 19:12
  door.
• 19:12
  You're
• 19:12
  just
• 19:13
  ignoring
• 19:13
  it.
• 19:14
  Can't
• 19:14
  come
• 19:14
  in.
• 19:15
  Sorry.
• 19:16
  You
• 19:17
  didn't
• 19:17
  know.
• 19:17
  I
• 19:17
  thought
• 19:18
  I
• 19:18
  told
• 19:18
  you
• 19:18
  that.
• 19:19
  That's
• 19:19
  so
• 19:19
  funny.
• 19:21
  Anyway,
• 19:21
  go
• 19:21
  ahead.
• 19:22
  Okay.
• 19:22
  So
• 19:23
  at
• 19:23
  this
• 19:23
  stage,
• 19:24
  stage
• 19:24
  one,
• 19:25
  she
• 19:25
  says,
• 19:26
  look,
• 19:26
  for
• 19:27
  one
• 19:27
  little
• 19:28
  tiny
• 19:28
  win
• 19:28
  a
• 19:29
  day,
• 19:30
  give
• 19:30
  your.
• 19:30
  And
• 19:31
  those
• 19:31
  tiny
• 19:32
  wins
• 19:32
  will
• 19:32
  keep
• 19:32
  track.
• 19:33
  Yeah,
• 19:33
  keep
• 19:34
  track
• 19:34
  of
• 19:34
  them.
• 19:34
  And
• 19:35
  they
• 19:35
  will.
• 19:35
  She
• 19:35
  calls
• 19:35
  it
• 19:35
  a
• 19:35
  thread
• 19:36
  of
• 19:36
  hope.
• 19:37
  It's
• 19:37
  so
• 19:37
  sad.
• 19:38
  Well,
• 19:38
  if.
• 19:39
  If
• 19:39
  things
• 19:39
  are
• 19:39
  going
• 19:40
  so
• 19:40
  badly
• 19:40
  with
• 19:41
  your
• 19:41
  child,
• 19:41
  you
• 19:42
  just
• 19:42
  need
• 19:42
  little
• 19:42
  threads
• 19:43
  of
• 19:43
  hope.
• 19:43
  A
• 19:44
  thread
• 19:44
  of
• 19:44
  hope?
• 19:44
  Yeah.
• 19:45
  Like,
• 19:45
  if
• 19:45
  your
• 19:45
  child
• 19:46
  does
• 19:46
  some
• 19:46
  little
• 19:46
  nice
• 19:47
  thing
• 19:47
  to
• 19:47
  you,
• 19:48
  like,
• 19:48
  plays
• 19:49
  nicely
• 19:49
  with
• 19:49
  their
• 19:49
  brother
• 19:50
  or
• 19:50
  sister,
• 19:51
  eventually
• 19:52
  that.
• 19:53
  Thread
• 19:53
  can
• 19:53
  become
• 19:54
  a
• 19:54
  spool.
• 19:54
  It
• 19:55
  could.
• 19:56
  Yeah,
• 19:56
  that's
• 19:56
  right.
• 19:57
  That's
• 19:57
  right.
• 19:57
  Part
• 19:58
  two,
• 19:58
  energy
• 19:59
  reserves.
• 20:00
  This
• 20:00
  was
• 20:00
  relatable
• 20:01
  because
• 20:02
  we're
• 20:02
  filming
• 20:03
  and
• 20:03
  recording
• 20:04
  this
• 20:04
  later
• 20:04
  in
• 20:04
  the
• 20:04
  day
• 20:05
  than
• 20:05
  we
• 20:05
  usually
• 20:05
  are.
• 20:07
  Usually.
• 20:07
  I'm,
• 20:07
  like,
• 20:07
  recently
• 20:08
  caffeinated.
• 20:09
  I've
• 20:09
  only
• 20:09
  been
• 20:10
  with
• 20:10
  my
• 20:10
  baby
• 20:10
  for,
• 20:10
  like,
• 20:10
  an
• 20:11
  hour
• 20:11
  or
• 20:11
  two.
• 20:12
  I've
• 20:12
  had
• 20:12
  a
• 20:13
  solid
• 20:13
  seven
• 20:14
  days
• 20:15
  today
• 20:16
  with
• 20:16
  my
• 20:17
  sweet,
• 20:17
  sweet
• 20:17
  child.
• 20:18
  Oh,
• 20:18
  God.
• 20:19
  So
• 20:20
  energy
• 20:21
  reserves
• 20:21
  are
• 20:21
  real
• 20:22
  and
• 20:22
  they
• 20:22
  do
• 20:22
  deplete.
• 20:23
  Yes,
• 20:24
  they
• 20:24
  do.
• 20:24
  Yes,
• 20:25
  they
• 20:25
  do.
• 20:26
  Okay,
• 20:26
  so
• 20:27
  when
• 20:27
  you
• 20:27
  have
• 20:27
  a
• 20:27
  child,
• 20:28
  that's
• 20:28
  difficult.
• 20:29
  It's
• 20:29
  very
• 20:29
  important
• 20:29
  to
• 20:30
  take
• 20:30
  care
• 20:30
  of
• 20:30
  yourself.
• 20:30
  Who
• 20:31
  has
• 20:31
  the
• 20:31
  time?
• 20:32
  She
• 20:32
  gives
• 20:32
  you
• 20:33
  lots
• 20:33
  of
• 20:33
  ideas
• 20:33
  for
• 20:33
  doing
• 20:34
  that.
• 20:34
  So
• 20:34
  music
• 20:35
  journaling.
• 20:36
  Everybody
• 20:37
  who
• 20:37
  writes
• 20:37
  books
• 20:38
  loves
• 20:38
  the
• 20:38
  idea
• 20:39
  of
• 20:39
  journaling.
• 20:39
  I
• 20:40
  know
• 20:40
  I
• 20:40
  don't.
• 20:41
  I
• 20:41
  write
• 20:41
  books.
• 20:42
  I've
• 20:42
  written
• 20:42
  books.
• 20:42
  I
• 20:43
  would
• 20:43
  never
• 20:43
  journal.
• 20:44
  I
• 20:44
  used
• 20:44
  to
• 20:44
  journal
• 20:46
  when
• 20:46
  I
• 20:46
  lived
• 20:46
  a
• 20:47
  crazy
• 20:47
  life.
• 20:48
  Mostly
• 20:49
  just
• 20:49
  in
• 20:49
  the
• 20:49
  Interest
• 20:49
  of
• 20:50
  not
• 20:50
  forgetting
• 20:50
  what
• 20:51
  happened
• 20:53
  because
• 20:53
  a
• 20:53
  lot
• 20:54
  so
• 20:54
  much
• 20:54
  happened
• 20:54
  that
• 20:54
  I
• 20:54
  was
• 20:55
  like,
• 20:55
  I
• 20:55
  don't
• 20:55
  write
• 20:55
  this
• 20:55
  down.
• 20:56
  I'm
• 20:56
  never
• 20:56
  going
• 20:56
  to
• 20:56
  remember
• 20:56
  this.
• 20:57
  Okay.
• 20:57
  But
• 20:58
  as
• 20:58
  an
• 20:58
  exercise,
• 20:59
  I
• 20:59
  feel
• 21:00
  is
• 21:01
  like
• 21:01
  it
• 21:02
  again.
• 21:02
  Who
• 21:03
  has
• 21:04
  the
• 21:04
  time?
• 21:05
  Yeah,
• 21:06
  naps.
• 21:06
  Who
• 21:07
  has
• 21:07
  the
• 21:07
  time?
• 21:08
  Breath
• 21:08
  work
• 21:08
  is
• 21:09
  good
• 21:09
  because
• 21:09
  you
• 21:09
  can
• 21:09
  do
• 21:09
  it
• 21:10
  while
• 21:10
  you're
• 21:10
  doing
• 21:10
  other
• 21:11
  things.
• 21:11
  Yeah.
• 21:11
  Something
• 21:12
  I've
• 21:12
  learned
• 21:12
  about
• 21:12
  being
• 21:13
  a
• 21:13
  parent
• 21:13
  is
• 21:13
  that
• 21:14
  you
• 21:14
  are
• 21:14
  constantly
• 21:15
  doing
• 21:15
  things
• 21:15
  simultaneously.
• 21:17
  Because
• 21:17
  that's
• 21:18
  just
• 21:18
  the
• 21:18
  deal.
• 21:19
  Yeah.
• 21:19
  So
• 21:19
  do
• 21:20
  you
• 21:20
  do
• 21:20
  breath
• 21:20
  work
• 21:20
  now?
• 21:21
  No,
• 21:21
  but
• 21:22
  you
• 21:22
  should.
• 21:23
  That
• 21:23
  would
• 21:23
  be
• 21:23
  like
• 21:23
  the
• 21:24
  fifth
• 21:24
  thing
• 21:24
  I
• 21:24
  would
• 21:24
  be
• 21:25
  doing
• 21:25
  along
• 21:25
  with
• 21:26
  all
• 21:26
  the
• 21:26
  other
• 21:26
  things
• 21:26
  I
• 21:27
  do.
• 21:27
  Yeah,
• 21:28
  yeah.
• 21:28
  But
• 21:29
  try
• 21:29
  to
• 21:29
  take
• 21:29
  deep
• 21:29
  breaths
• 21:30
  and
• 21:30
  calm
• 21:30
  yourself.
• 21:31
  If
• 21:31
  it
• 21:31
  gets
• 21:32
  to
• 21:32
  be
• 21:32
  too
• 21:32
  much,
• 21:33
  I
• 21:33
  mean,
• 21:33
  that's
• 21:33
  what
• 21:34
  she's
• 21:34
  saying.
• 21:36
  Change
• 21:37
  that
• 21:37
  nasty
• 21:38
  inner
• 21:38
  voice.
• 21:39
  I
• 21:39
  don't
• 21:39
  have
• 21:39
  one
• 21:39
  of
• 21:39
  those.
• 21:40
  You
• 21:40
  don't?
• 21:41
  Oh,
• 21:41
  God,
• 21:41
  I
• 21:41
  love.
• 21:42
  I
• 21:42
  would
• 21:42
  love
• 21:42
  not
• 21:43
  to
• 21:43
  have
• 21:43
  one
• 21:43
  of
• 21:43
  those.
• 21:44
  Are
• 21:44
  you
• 21:45
  frustrated
• 21:45
  watching
• 21:46
  your
• 21:46
  child,
• 21:46
  who
• 21:47
  has
• 21:47
  so
• 21:47
  much
• 21:48
  potential,
• 21:48
  struggle
• 21:49
  with
• 21:49
  everyday
• 21:50
  life,
• 21:50
  Getting
• 21:51
  them
• 21:51
  ready
• 21:51
  for
• 21:51
  school,
• 21:52
  writing
• 21:52
  down
• 21:53
  assignments,
• 21:53
  bringing
• 21:54
  home
• 21:54
  the
• 21:54
  right
• 21:54
  textbooks,
• 21:55
  organizing
• 21:56
  their
• 21:56
  backpack.
• 21:57
  You're
• 21:57
  thinking,
• 21:58
  the
• 21:58
  other
• 21:58
  kids
• 21:59
  can
• 21:59
  do
• 21:59
  it,
• 21:59
  why
• 22:00
  can't
• 22:00
  mine?
• 22:01
  Your
• 22:01
  friend's
• 22:01
  kids
• 22:02
  don't
• 22:02
  put
• 22:02
  off
• 22:02
  doing
• 22:03
  their
• 22:03
  homework,
• 22:04
  lose
• 22:04
  track
• 22:04
  of
• 22:05
  time,
• 22:05
  get
• 22:05
  distracted
• 22:06
  when
• 22:06
  studying,
• 22:07
  or
• 22:07
  fall
• 22:08
  apart
• 22:08
  when
• 22:08
  their
• 22:08
  screen
• 22:09
  time
• 22:09
  gets
• 22:09
  limited.
• 22:10
  You've
• 22:11
  tried
• 22:11
  everything.
• 22:12
  Explaining,
• 22:13
  cajoling,
• 22:14
  pleading,
• 22:14
  yelling,
• 22:15
  incentivizing,
• 22:16
  punishing.
• 22:17
  But
• 22:18
  nothing
• 22:18
  works.
• 22:19
  That's
• 22:19
  because
• 22:20
  your
• 22:20
  child
• 22:20
  has
• 22:21
  developed
• 22:21
  poor
• 22:22
  habits
• 22:22
  due
• 22:23
  to
• 22:23
  lack
• 22:23
  of
• 22:23
  what's
• 22:24
  called
• 22:24
  executive
• 22:24
  function
• 22:25
  skills.
• 22:26
  You
• 22:26
  can't
• 22:27
  talk,
• 22:27
  incentivize,
• 22:28
  or
• 22:28
  punish
• 22:29
  a
• 22:29
  child
• 22:29
  into
• 22:30
  using
• 22:30
  skills
• 22:31
  they
• 22:31
  just
• 22:31
  don't
• 22:32
  have.
• 22:33
  If
• 22:33
  this
• 22:33
  sounds
• 22:34
  familiar,
• 22:34
  try
• 22:34
  habitcoach.com
• 22:36
  our
• 22:37
  coaches
• 22:37
  teach
• 22:38
  kids
• 22:38
  how
• 22:38
  to
• 22:38
  play
• 22:39
  to
• 22:39
  their
• 22:39
  stronger
• 22:40
  skills,
• 22:40
  build
• 22:41
  workarounds
• 22:42
  for
• 22:42
  their
• 22:42
  weaknesses,
• 22:43
  and
• 22:43
  develop
• 22:43
  productive
• 22:44
  habits
• 22:44
  that
• 22:45
  stick
• 22:45
  for
• 22:45
  life.
• 22:46
  There's
• 22:47
  even
• 22:47
  a
• 22:47
  parenting
• 22:48
  program
• 22:48
  showing
• 22:49
  you
• 22:49
  how
• 22:49
  to
• 22:49
  help
• 22:50
  your
• 22:50
  child
• 22:51
  get
• 22:51
  organized,
• 22:52
  stay
• 22:52
  focused,
• 22:53
  stop
• 22:53
  procrastinating,
• 22:54
  control
• 22:55
  their
• 22:55
  impulses,
• 22:56
  and
• 22:56
  manage
• 22:56
  their
• 22:57
  emotions.
• 22:58
  You
• 22:58
  can
• 22:58
  get
• 22:58
  started
• 22:59
  for
• 22:59
  under
• 22:59
  $10
• 23:00
  a
• 23:00
  month.
• 23:01
  Don't
• 23:01
  let
• 23:02
  another
• 23:02
  day
• 23:02
  go
• 23:03
  by
• 23:03
  without
• 23:03
  getting
• 23:04
  your
• 23:04
  child
• 23:04
  the
• 23:04
  help
• 23:05
  they
• 23:05
  need.
• 23:05
  The
• 23:06
  longer
• 23:06
  you
• 23:06
  wait,
• 23:07
  the
• 23:07
  bigger
• 23:07
  the
• 23:07
  challenges
• 23:08
  become.
• 23:09
  Start
• 23:09
  today@habitcoach.com
• 23:12
  Change
• 23:12
  that.
• 23:13
  That
• 23:13
  nasty
• 23:14
  inner
• 23:14
  voice
• 23:15
  that.
• 23:15
  I
• 23:15
  don't
• 23:15
  have
• 23:15
  one
• 23:16
  of
• 23:16
  those.
• 23:16
  You
• 23:16
  don't?
• 23:17
  Oh,
• 23:17
  God,
• 23:18
  I
• 23:18
  love.
• 23:18
  I
• 23:18
  would
• 23:19
  love
• 23:19
  not
• 23:19
  to
• 23:19
  have
• 23:19
  one
• 23:19
  of
• 23:19
  those.
• 23:20
  That's
• 23:21
  nice.
• 23:21
  I'm,
• 23:21
  like,
• 23:21
  overly
• 23:22
  therapized.
• 23:22
  So
• 23:23
  my.
• 23:23
  My
• 23:24
  angry
• 23:24
  inner
• 23:25
  voice
• 23:25
  has
• 23:25
  been
• 23:26
  imprisoned.
• 23:27
  Yeah,
• 23:28
  no,
• 23:28
  gosh,
• 23:29
  that's
• 23:29
  been
• 23:29
  banished.
• 23:30
  Now
• 23:31
  I
• 23:31
  just
• 23:31
  blame
• 23:31
  everyone
• 23:31
  else.
• 23:32
  I
• 23:32
  don't
• 23:32
  know
• 23:32
  what's
• 23:32
  healthier
• 23:33
  you
• 23:33
  know,
• 23:33
  it's.
• 23:34
  That's,
• 23:34
  that's
• 23:35
  really
• 23:35
  funny.
• 23:35
  I'll
• 23:36
  tell
• 23:36
  you
• 23:36
  a
• 23:36
  really
• 23:36
  quick
• 23:36
  story.
• 23:37
  I
• 23:37
  remember
• 23:37
  when
• 23:38
  you
• 23:38
  were
• 23:38
  young
• 23:38
  and
• 23:38
  you
• 23:39
  were
• 23:39
  going
• 23:39
  through
• 23:39
  some
• 23:40
  really
• 23:40
  hard
• 23:40
  times,
• 23:41
  and
• 23:42
  because
• 23:43
  you
• 23:43
  had,
• 23:44
  you
• 23:44
  know,
• 23:45
  learning
• 23:45
  disabilities,
• 23:46
  you
• 23:46
  were
• 23:46
  struggling
• 23:47
  in
• 23:47
  school,
• 23:49
  you
• 23:49
  were
• 23:49
  constantly
• 23:49
  getting
• 23:50
  kicked
• 23:50
  out
• 23:50
  of
• 23:50
  schools.
• 23:51
  And
• 23:52
  we
• 23:52
  were.
• 23:52
  I
• 23:52
  remember
• 23:52
  walking
• 23:53
  down
• 23:53
  the
• 23:53
  street
• 23:53
  one
• 23:54
  day
• 23:54
  and
• 23:54
  you
• 23:55
  kept
• 23:55
  looking
• 23:55
  at
• 23:55
  yourself
• 23:56
  in
• 23:56
  the
• 23:57
  window
• 23:58
  of
• 23:59
  anywhere
• 24:00
  we
• 24:00
  passed.
• 24:01
  And
• 24:01
  I
• 24:01
  said,
• 24:01
  what
• 24:01
  are
• 24:02
  you
• 24:02
  looking
• 24:02
  at?
• 24:02
  And
• 24:03
  you
• 24:03
  said,
• 24:04
  me?
• 24:05
  And
• 24:06
  I
• 24:06
  said
• 24:07
  to
• 24:07
  you,
• 24:07
  well,
• 24:07
  do
• 24:07
  you
• 24:07
  like
• 24:08
  what
• 24:08
  you
• 24:08
  see?
• 24:09
  And
• 24:09
  you
• 24:09
  just
• 24:09
  looked
• 24:10
  at
• 24:10
  me
• 24:10
  and
• 24:10
  you
• 24:10
  were
• 24:10
  like,
• 24:11
  yeah.
• 24:13
  And
• 24:13
  I
• 24:13
  remember
• 24:13
  thinking,
• 24:14
  wow.
• 24:14
  Cause
• 24:15
  you
• 24:15
  were
• 24:15
  really
• 24:15
  going
• 24:16
  through
• 24:16
  a
• 24:16
  hard
• 24:16
  time,
• 24:16
  but
• 24:16
  you
• 24:17
  had
• 24:17
  a
• 24:17
  lot
• 24:17
  of
• 24:17
  confidence
• 24:18
  and
• 24:19
  you
• 24:19
  liked
• 24:19
  yourself.
• 24:20
  I
• 24:20
  don't.
• 24:21
  So
• 24:21
  it
• 24:21
  comes.
• 24:22
  I
• 24:22
  don't
• 24:22
  know
• 24:22
  where
• 24:22
  it
• 24:23
  comes
• 24:23
  from.
• 24:23
  But
• 24:23
  it's
• 24:24
  there
• 24:24
  and
• 24:24
  it
• 24:25
  will
• 24:25
  never
• 24:25
  die.
• 24:25
  That's
• 24:26
  great.
• 24:26
  No
• 24:27
  one
• 24:27
  can
• 24:27
  beat
• 24:27
  me
• 24:28
  down.
• 24:28
  That
• 24:28
  is
• 24:28
  a
• 24:29
  good
• 24:29
  thing.
• 24:29
  No,
• 24:30
  because
• 24:30
  I've
• 24:30
  always
• 24:30
  had
• 24:31
  that
• 24:31
  nasty
• 24:32
  inner
• 24:32
  voice
• 24:33
  that
• 24:33
  says,
• 24:33
  you
• 24:33
  know
• 24:33
  what
• 24:33
  you
• 24:33
  do?
• 24:34
  You
• 24:34
  just
• 24:34
  say,
• 24:34
  I
• 24:35
  sense
• 24:35
  you.
• 24:35
  I
• 24:36
  reject
• 24:36
  you.
• 24:37
  Okay.
• 24:37
  And
• 24:37
  then
• 24:38
  that's
• 24:38
  it.
• 24:38
  Right.
• 24:39
  Just
• 24:39
  decide
• 24:39
  everyone
• 24:40
  else
• 24:40
  is
• 24:40
  wrong.
• 24:41
  And
• 24:41
  you're
• 24:41
  right,
• 24:41
  I'm
• 24:42
  right.
• 24:42
  And
• 24:42
  people
• 24:42
  never
• 24:43
  ever
• 24:43
  feel
• 24:44
  that
• 24:44
  way
• 24:44
  again.
• 24:45
  Say
• 24:45
  nice
• 24:45
  things
• 24:46
  to
• 24:46
  yourself.
• 24:46
  Take
• 24:47
  care
• 24:47
  of
• 24:47
  yourself.
• 24:48
  That's
• 24:48
  what
• 24:48
  she's
• 24:48
  saying.
• 24:49
  She
• 24:49
  has
• 24:49
  this
• 24:50
  idea
• 24:50
  for
• 24:50
  a
• 24:50
  five
• 24:51
  minute
• 24:51
  energy
• 24:52
  plan
• 24:53
  to
• 24:53
  just
• 24:54
  help
• 24:54
  you
• 24:54
  weather
• 24:55
  the
• 24:55
  storms
• 24:55
  that
• 24:56
  will
• 24:56
  be
• 24:56
  coming
• 24:56
  your
• 24:57
  way.
• 24:57
  She
• 24:58
  gives
• 24:58
  you
• 24:58
  ideas
• 24:58
  for
• 24:59
  that.
• 24:59
  I
• 24:59
  mean,
• 25:00
  things
• 25:00
  like.
• 25:01
  She
• 25:01
  says
• 25:02
  things
• 25:02
  like,
• 25:02
  get
• 25:03
  a
• 25:03
  hobby.
• 25:03
  Cook.
• 25:04
  Cooking
• 25:04
  would
• 25:05
  not
• 25:05
  be
• 25:05
  good
• 25:05
  for
• 25:05
  me.
• 25:07
  Exercise.
• 25:08
  Well,
• 25:08
  moving
• 25:08
  your
• 25:08
  body
• 25:08
  is
• 25:09
  good.
• 25:10
  A
• 25:10
  dance
• 25:10
  break
• 25:10
  would
• 25:11
  be
• 25:11
  fun.
• 25:12
  Just
• 25:13
  talk
• 25:13
  to
• 25:13
  your
• 25:13
  good
• 25:14
  friends
• 25:14
  because
• 25:15
  that
• 25:15
  fills
• 25:15
  your
• 25:15
  cup.
• 25:16
  But
• 25:16
  do
• 25:17
  that
• 25:17
  support
• 25:18
  you,
• 25:18
  that
• 25:18
  boost
• 25:19
  you,
• 25:19
  and
• 25:19
  stay
• 25:20
  away
• 25:20
  from
• 25:20
  anything
• 25:21
  that
• 25:21
  drains
• 25:21
  you
• 25:22
  because
• 25:22
  you're
• 25:22
  going
• 25:22
  through
• 25:23
  a
• 25:23
  hard
• 25:23
  time
• 25:23
  with
• 25:23
  your
• 25:24
  child
• 25:24
  and
• 25:24
  you.
• 25:25
  Need
• 25:25
  protect
• 25:26
  your
• 25:26
  peace.
• 25:27
  Yes,
• 25:27
  absolutely.
• 25:28
  As
• 25:28
  they
• 25:29
  say
• 25:29
  on
• 25:29
  Bravo.
• 25:30
  Oh,
• 25:31
  do
• 25:31
  they?
• 25:31
  Anytime
• 25:32
  a
• 25:32
  housewife
• 25:33
  doesn't
• 25:33
  want
• 25:33
  to
• 25:34
  deal
• 25:34
  with
• 25:34
  something,
• 25:35
  I'm
• 25:35
  protecting
• 25:36
  my
• 25:36
  peace.
• 25:37
  I'm
• 25:38
  protecting
• 25:38
  my
• 25:38
  peace.
• 25:38
  Even
• 25:39
  if
• 25:39
  it's
• 25:39
  a
• 25:39
  conflict
• 25:39
  they're
• 25:40
  directly
• 25:40
  involved
• 25:40
  in.
• 25:41
  Lisa
• 25:41
  Barlow
• 25:42
  is
• 25:42
  currently
• 25:42
  doing
• 25:42
  it
• 25:43
  on
• 25:43
  Salt
• 25:43
  Lake
• 25:44
  City.
• 25:45
  Yeah,
• 25:46
  she's
• 25:46
  responsible
• 25:46
  for
• 25:47
  something
• 25:47
  pretty
• 25:47
  bad.
• 25:47
  She's
• 25:48
  like,
• 25:48
  you
• 25:48
  know
• 25:48
  what?
• 25:48
  I'm
• 25:48
  protecting
• 25:49
  my
• 25:49
  peace.
• 25:50
  The
• 25:50
  housewives
• 25:50
  are
• 25:51
  very
• 25:51
  wise.
• 25:51
  They
• 25:52
  are.
• 25:52
  I
• 25:52
  know
• 25:53
  they
• 25:53
  know
• 25:53
  a
• 25:53
  lot
• 25:53
  she
• 25:53
  experience.
• 25:54
  Okay,
• 25:55
  all
• 25:55
  right,
• 25:55
  get
• 25:56
  to
• 25:56
  part
• 25:56
  three
• 25:57
  of
• 25:57
  this
• 25:57
  book.
• 25:57
  Part
• 25:58
  three,
• 25:58
  the
• 25:58
  calm
• 25:58
  at
• 25:59
  the
• 25:59
  center
• 25:59
  of
• 25:59
  the
• 25:59
  storm.
• 26:00
  So
• 26:00
  try
• 26:00
  to
• 26:00
  keep
• 26:01
  your
• 26:01
  child
• 26:01
  connected
• 26:02
  through
• 26:03
  a
• 26:03
  volatile
• 26:03
  situation,
• 26:04
  which
• 26:04
  can
• 26:04
  be
• 26:05
  difficult.
• 26:05
  Easier
• 26:05
  said
• 26:06
  than
• 26:06
  done.
• 26:07
  So
• 26:07
  when
• 26:08
  your
• 26:08
  child
• 26:08
  is
• 26:08
  losing
• 26:09
  it,
• 26:09
  whether
• 26:09
  it's
• 26:09
  A
• 26:09
  tantrum
• 26:10
  or
• 26:10
  an
• 26:10
  outburst
• 26:11
  or
• 26:11
  generally
• 26:12
  unacceptable
• 26:13
  behavior.
• 26:14
  You
• 26:14
  need
• 26:14
  to
• 26:14
  become
• 26:14
  their
• 26:15
  safe
• 26:15
  space,
• 26:15
  which
• 26:16
  I
• 26:16
  think
• 26:16
  is
• 26:16
  really
• 26:16
  important.
• 26:17
  And
• 26:17
  I
• 26:17
  think
• 26:18
  the
• 26:19
  longer
• 26:19
  they
• 26:19
  are
• 26:19
  difficult,
• 26:20
  the
• 26:20
  harder
• 26:20
  this
• 26:21
  becomes
• 26:21
  because
• 26:22
  everybody's
• 26:22
  got
• 26:22
  a
• 26:22
  threshold.
• 26:23
  And
• 26:24
  if
• 26:24
  you
• 26:24
  don't
• 26:24
  feel
• 26:25
  like
• 26:25
  something
• 26:25
  is
• 26:25
  improving,
• 26:27
  you
• 26:27
  might
• 26:27
  start
• 26:27
  to
• 26:28
  resent
• 26:28
  your
• 26:28
  kid,
• 26:28
  which
• 26:29
  is
• 26:29
  really
• 26:29
  difficult
• 26:30
  to
• 26:30
  combat.
• 26:32
  Right.
• 26:33
  And
• 26:33
  when
• 26:33
  they
• 26:34
  are
• 26:34
  melting
• 26:34
  down,
• 26:35
  as
• 26:35
  we've
• 26:35
  discussed
• 26:35
  before,
• 26:36
  this
• 26:36
  is
• 26:36
  not
• 26:36
  the
• 26:37
  time
• 26:37
  to
• 26:37
  try
• 26:38
  to
• 26:38
  fix
• 26:39
  anything.
• 26:40
  Don't
• 26:40
  scream
• 26:40
  at
• 26:40
  them.
• 26:41
  Don't
• 26:41
  discipline
• 26:41
  them.
• 26:42
  No
• 26:42
  reasoning.
• 26:43
  No,
• 26:44
  they're
• 26:44
  not.
• 26:44
  They
• 26:44
  can't
• 26:45
  access
• 26:46
  their
• 26:46
  rational
• 26:47
  brain.
• 26:47
  As
• 26:48
  we
• 26:48
  learned
• 26:48
  with
• 26:48
  the
• 26:48
  whole
• 26:49
  brain
• 26:49
  child.
• 26:49
  Yes,
• 26:49
  we
• 26:49
  did.
• 26:50
  The
• 26:50
  brain
• 26:50
  has
• 26:51
  47
• 26:51
  parts.
• 26:52
  Yes.
• 26:52
  They
• 26:53
  all
• 26:53
  work
• 26:53
  in
• 26:53
  tandem
• 26:54
  sometimes.
• 26:55
  Right.
• 26:56
  But
• 26:56
  during
• 26:57
  a
• 26:57
  meltdown,
• 26:57
  the
• 26:58
  left
• 26:58
  side
• 26:59
  cannot
• 26:59
  be
• 26:59
  accessed,
• 27:00
  and
• 27:01
  that's
• 27:01
  the
• 27:01
  rational
• 27:02
  brain.
• 27:02
  And
• 27:03
  she
• 27:03
  says
• 27:03
  that
• 27:03
  when
• 27:03
  our
• 27:04
  kids
• 27:04
  melt
• 27:04
  down,
• 27:05
  we
• 27:05
  have
• 27:05
  very
• 27:06
  common,
• 27:06
  what
• 27:07
  she
• 27:07
  calls
• 27:07
  thought
• 27:07
  monsters.
• 27:08
  They
• 27:08
  kind
• 27:09
  of.
• 27:09
  They're
• 27:10
  like
• 27:10
  negative
• 27:11
  name.
• 27:11
  It's
• 27:12
  disempowering
• 27:13
  thoughts
• 27:13
  that
• 27:14
  just
• 27:14
  don't
• 27:15
  help.
• 27:16
  And
• 27:16
  so,
• 27:16
  for
• 27:16
  example,
• 27:17
  if
• 27:17
  you're
• 27:17
  always
• 27:17
  thinking,
• 27:18
  I
• 27:18
  can't
• 27:18
  take
• 27:18
  it
• 27:19
  anymore,
• 27:20
  change
• 27:20
  that
• 27:21
  thought
• 27:21
  to
• 27:21
  I
• 27:22
  can
• 27:22
  take
• 27:22
  it
• 27:23
  one
• 27:23
  moment
• 27:23
  at
• 27:24
  a
• 27:24
  time.
• 27:24
  Like,
• 27:25
  change
• 27:25
  those
• 27:25
  negative
• 27:26
  thoughts.
• 27:26
  It
• 27:26
  reminds
• 27:27
  me
• 27:27
  there
• 27:28
  was
• 27:28
  like
• 27:28
  a
• 27:29
  weird
• 27:29
  amount
• 27:29
  of
• 27:29
  AA
• 27:30
  language.
• 27:31
  Oh,
• 27:31
  really?
• 27:31
  In
• 27:31
  this?
• 27:32
  Yeah.
• 27:32
  Okay.
• 27:33
  Yeah.
• 27:34
  But
• 27:34
  again,
• 27:34
  I
• 27:34
  think
• 27:35
  that
• 27:35
  language
• 27:35
  is
• 27:36
  very
• 27:36
  helpful
• 27:36
  for
• 27:37
  everybody.
• 27:37
  Any
• 27:37
  crisis
• 27:38
  that
• 27:38
  you're
• 27:39
  dealing
• 27:39
  with
• 27:39
  to
• 27:40
  change,
• 27:40
  change
• 27:41
  it.
• 27:41
  Right.
• 27:42
  Like,
• 27:43
  if
• 27:43
  you're
• 27:43
  thinking,
• 27:44
  I
• 27:44
  should
• 27:44
  be
• 27:45
  able
• 27:45
  to
• 27:45
  handle
• 27:45
  this,
• 27:46
  but
• 27:46
  I
• 27:46
  can't.
• 27:47
  Just
• 27:47
  tell
• 27:47
  yourself,
• 27:48
  one
• 27:48
  day
• 27:48
  I'm
• 27:49
  still.
• 27:49
  Learning,
• 27:49
  or
• 27:50
  one
• 27:50
  day
• 27:50
  at
• 27:50
  a
• 27:50
  time.
• 27:50
  Something
• 27:51
  like
• 27:51
  that.
• 27:51
  Yeah.
• 27:53
  And
• 27:53
  then
• 27:54
  become
• 27:55
  the.
• 27:55
  The
• 27:55
  calming
• 27:56
  presence
• 27:56
  for
• 27:57
  your
• 27:57
  child.
• 27:57
  Easier
• 27:58
  said
• 27:58
  than
• 27:58
  done,
• 27:59
  but
• 27:59
  try
• 27:59
  that
• 28:00
  because
• 28:00
  it.
• 28:01
  You
• 28:01
  know
• 28:01
  when
• 28:01
  they
• 28:02
  are
• 28:02
  losing
• 28:03
  it,
• 28:03
  that's
• 28:04
  when
• 28:04
  you.
• 28:04
  Again,
• 28:05
  you
• 28:05
  diffuse
• 28:06
  the
• 28:06
  bomb
• 28:07
  by.
• 28:07
  Relax
• 28:08
  your
• 28:08
  body,
• 28:09
  get
• 28:09
  as
• 28:09
  close
• 28:09
  to
• 28:09
  them
• 28:10
  as
• 28:10
  you
• 28:10
  can.
• 28:11
  Talk
• 28:12
  quietly,
• 28:14
  calmly.
• 28:15
  Yeah.
• 28:16
  Few
• 28:17
  words.
• 28:18
  She's
• 28:18
  talking
• 28:19
  in
• 28:19
  this
• 28:19
  situation.
• 28:20
  This
• 28:20
  felt
• 28:20
  to
• 28:20
  me
• 28:20
  like
• 28:20
  she
• 28:20
  was
• 28:21
  talking
• 28:22
  more
• 28:22
  to
• 28:22
  parents
• 28:23
  of
• 28:23
  neurodivergent
• 28:24
  kids
• 28:25
  who
• 28:25
  I
• 28:25
  think
• 28:25
  are
• 28:26
  prone.
• 28:26
  And
• 28:26
  I'm
• 28:27
  speaking
• 28:27
  from
• 28:27
  experience,
• 28:28
  being
• 28:28
  a
• 28:28
  neurodivergent
• 28:29
  person.
• 28:31
  When
• 28:31
  there
• 28:31
  is
• 28:31
  a
• 28:31
  meltdown,
• 28:32
  it
• 28:32
  is
• 28:33
  nuclear.
• 28:35
  And
• 28:35
  it
• 28:35
  can
• 28:35
  be
• 28:36
  really
• 28:36
  difficult
• 28:36
  in
• 28:37
  those
• 28:37
  moments
• 28:37
  to
• 28:37
  know
• 28:38
  exactly
• 28:38
  how
• 28:38
  to
• 28:39
  handle
• 28:39
  it,
• 28:39
  both
• 28:39
  physically
• 28:40
  and
• 28:40
  verbally
• 28:41
  and
• 28:41
  just
• 28:42
  generally.
• 28:43
  Right.
• 28:43
  So
• 28:44
  I
• 28:44
  appreciated
• 28:45
  this
• 28:46
  piece
• 28:46
  of
• 28:46
  advice
• 28:47
  where
• 28:47
  it's
• 28:47
  like,
• 28:48
  you
• 28:48
  need
• 28:49
  to
• 28:49
  model
• 28:49
  for
• 28:49
  your
• 28:50
  child
• 28:51
  what
• 28:52
  you
• 28:52
  would
• 28:53
  like
• 28:53
  them
• 28:53
  to
• 28:54
  do
• 28:54
  in
• 28:54
  that
• 28:54
  moment.
• 28:55
  So
• 28:55
  stay
• 28:55
  calm,
• 28:56
  speak
• 28:57
  slowly
• 28:57
  and
• 28:57
  lowly.
• 28:59
  And
• 29:00
  if
• 29:00
  it.
• 29:01
  If
• 29:01
  you
• 29:01
  can
• 29:02
  be
• 29:02
  physically
• 29:02
  close
• 29:02
  to
• 29:03
  your
• 29:03
  child,
• 29:03
  if
• 29:03
  they're
• 29:03
  not
• 29:03
  lashing
• 29:04
  out.
• 29:04
  Physically,
• 29:05
  then
• 29:06
  do
• 29:08
  No,
• 29:08
  I
• 29:08
  think
• 29:08
  that
• 29:08
  that
• 29:09
  would
• 29:09
  help.
• 29:10
  She
• 29:10
  talks
• 29:11
  about
• 29:11
  the
• 29:11
  behavior
• 29:12
  funnel.
• 29:12
  She
• 29:12
  says
• 29:12
  there's
• 29:13
  six
• 29:14
  causes
• 29:14
  or
• 29:15
  missing
• 29:15
  needs
• 29:15
  that
• 29:16
  are
• 29:16
  behind
• 29:16
  all.
• 29:17
  Bad
• 29:17
  behavior
• 29:18
  or
• 29:19
  difficult
• 29:19
  behavior
• 29:22
  that
• 29:22
  lead
• 29:22
  to
• 29:22
  real
• 29:23
  stress
• 29:23
  in
• 29:23
  the
• 29:24
  family.
• 29:24
  And
• 29:25
  if
• 29:25
  the
• 29:25
  child
• 29:25
  is
• 29:25
  losing
• 29:26
  it,
• 29:26
  it's
• 29:26
  very
• 29:27
  likely
• 29:27
  going
• 29:27
  to
• 29:27
  be
• 29:27
  one
• 29:28
  of
• 29:28
  these
• 29:28
  things
• 29:28
  that
• 29:28
  cause
• 29:29
  it.
• 29:30
  Beginning
• 29:31
  with.
• 29:32
  Well,
• 29:32
  let
• 29:32
  me
• 29:32
  say,
• 29:32
  she
• 29:33
  says,
• 29:33
  try
• 29:33
  to
• 29:34
  get
• 29:34
  kind
• 29:34
  of
• 29:35
  curious
• 29:35
  and
• 29:35
  figure
• 29:36
  out
• 29:36
  when
• 29:36
  they
• 29:37
  are
• 29:37
  losing
• 29:37
  it,
• 29:38
  which
• 29:38
  one
• 29:38
  of
• 29:39
  these
• 29:39
  six
• 29:40
  things
• 29:40
  is
• 29:41
  behind
• 29:41
  it.
• 29:42
  Starting
• 29:42
  with
• 29:43
  basic
• 29:43
  needs
• 29:44
  like
• 29:44
  food,
• 29:45
  water,
• 29:45
  sleep,
• 29:46
  safety.
• 29:47
  You
• 29:47
  know,
• 29:47
  if
• 29:47
  the
• 29:47
  child
• 29:48
  doesn't
• 29:49
  feel
• 29:49
  safe,
• 29:49
  they're.
• 29:49
  They're
• 29:50
  going
• 29:50
  to
• 29:50
  lash
• 29:50
  out.
• 29:51
  Connection.
• 29:52
  Maybe
• 29:53
  they
• 29:53
  got
• 29:53
  into
• 29:53
  an
• 29:53
  argument
• 29:54
  with
• 29:54
  a
• 29:54
  friend.
• 29:56
  Maybe
• 29:56
  you
• 29:57
  haven't
• 29:57
  been
• 29:57
  around
• 29:58
  lately
• 29:59
  and
• 29:59
  they
• 29:59
  need
• 29:59
  more
• 29:59
  of
• 30:00
  you.
• 30:00
  Maybe
• 30:01
  they're
• 30:01
  having
• 30:01
  a
• 30:01
  problem
• 30:02
  with
• 30:02
  a
• 30:02
  teacher.
• 30:03
  Something
• 30:03
  like
• 30:03
  some
• 30:04
  connection
• 30:04
  is
• 30:05
  off.
• 30:05
  Sensory
• 30:06
  issues,
• 30:06
  which
• 30:07
  we've
• 30:07
  talked
• 30:07
  about.
• 30:08
  Skills.
• 30:09
  And
• 30:09
  here
• 30:10
  what
• 30:10
  we're
• 30:10
  talking
• 30:10
  about
• 30:11
  are
• 30:12
  executive
• 30:12
  function
• 30:13
  skills,
• 30:13
  which
• 30:14
  we
• 30:14
  know
• 30:14
  if
• 30:15
  your
• 30:15
  child
• 30:15
  doesn't
• 30:15
  have
• 30:16
  those
• 30:16
  skills,
• 30:17
  that
• 30:17
  could
• 30:17
  be
• 30:17
  behind
• 30:18
  a
• 30:18
  lot
• 30:18
  of
• 30:19
  difficult
• 30:19
  behavior,
• 30:20
  like
• 30:21
  impulse
• 30:21
  control,
• 30:22
  emotional
• 30:23
  control.
• 30:23
  These
• 30:24
  are
• 30:24
  learned
• 30:24
  skills,
• 30:25
  and
• 30:25
  they
• 30:25
  are
• 30:26
  taught
• 30:27
  skills.
• 30:27
  They're
• 30:28
  not
• 30:28
  skills
• 30:29
  people
• 30:29
  typically
• 30:30
  just
• 30:30
  pick
• 30:31
  up,
• 30:31
  you
• 30:32
  know.
• 30:33
  Well,
• 30:33
  and
• 30:33
  kids
• 30:33
  with
• 30:34
  ADHD
• 30:35
  will
• 30:35
  all
• 30:35
  struggle
• 30:36
  with
• 30:36
  these.
• 30:37
  With
• 30:37
  these
• 30:37
  issues.
• 30:39
  And
• 30:39
  so,
• 30:40
  you
• 30:40
  know,
• 30:40
  just.
• 30:40
  They
• 30:40
  just
• 30:41
  may
• 30:41
  be
• 30:41
  missing
• 30:41
  those
• 30:41
  skills.
• 30:42
  Yeah.
• 30:43
  Strong
• 30:43
  desires.
• 30:44
  There
• 30:44
  could
• 30:44
  be
• 30:45
  something
• 30:45
  that
• 30:45
  the
• 30:46
  kid
• 30:46
  really
• 30:46
  wants
• 30:47
  that
• 30:47
  they
• 30:47
  haven't
• 30:47
  shared
• 30:48
  with
• 30:48
  you,
• 30:48
  and
• 30:49
  that's
• 30:49
  what's
• 30:49
  causing
• 30:50
  them
• 30:50
  to
• 30:51
  lose
• 30:51
  it.
• 30:51
  Like,
• 30:52
  you
• 30:52
  know,
• 30:52
  you
• 30:52
  don't
• 30:53
  want
• 30:53
  to
• 30:53
  be
• 30:53
  in
• 30:53
  school,
• 30:54
  so
• 30:54
  you're
• 30:55
  totally
• 30:55
  lashing
• 30:56
  out
• 30:56
  because
• 30:56
  you
• 30:56
  want
• 30:57
  to
• 30:57
  be
• 30:57
  somewhere
• 30:57
  else
• 30:57
  or
• 30:58
  whatever.
• 30:58
  Or
• 30:59
  avoidance.
• 30:59
  Are
• 31:00
  they
• 31:00
  trying
• 31:00
  to
• 31:00
  avoid
• 31:01
  something,
• 31:01
  like
• 31:02
  there's
• 31:02
  a
• 31:02
  bully
• 31:03
  or
• 31:03
  there's
• 31:04
  some
• 31:04
  boring
• 31:04
  task
• 31:05
  you've
• 31:05
  asked
• 31:05
  them
• 31:05
  to
• 31:05
  do
• 31:06
  or
• 31:06
  something
• 31:06
  they
• 31:07
  just
• 31:07
  desperately
• 31:07
  don't
• 31:08
  want
• 31:08
  to
• 31:08
  do.
• 31:08
  Yeah.
• 31:10
  When
• 31:10
  I
• 31:10
  was
• 31:10
  reading
• 31:11
  the
• 31:11
  part
• 31:11
  where
• 31:12
  she
• 31:12
  was
• 31:12
  like
• 31:12
  that
• 31:13
  your
• 31:13
  child
• 31:13
  feels
• 31:14
  like
• 31:14
  you're
• 31:14
  not
• 31:15
  around
• 31:15
  enough.
• 31:17
  That
• 31:18
  I
• 31:18
  feel
• 31:18
  like
• 31:19
  for
• 31:19
  me,
• 31:19
  what
• 31:19
  came
• 31:20
  up
• 31:20
  was
• 31:20
  like,
• 31:20
  okay,
• 31:21
  being
• 31:21
  a
• 31:21
  working
• 31:21
  mom
• 31:22
  is
• 31:22
  really
• 31:23
  hard
• 31:24
  because
• 31:25
  there
• 31:26
  is.
• 31:26
  It's
• 31:26
  a
• 31:27
  much
• 31:27
  harder
• 31:27
  balance,
• 31:28
  I
• 31:28
  think,
• 31:28
  for
• 31:28
  a
• 31:28
  mom
• 31:28
  to
• 31:29
  strike
• 31:29
  than
• 31:29
  a
• 31:30
  dad,
• 31:30
  especially
• 31:31
  when
• 31:31
  the
• 31:31
  kids
• 31:31
  are
• 31:31
  really
• 31:32
  young.
• 31:32
  Cause
• 31:32
  kids
• 31:33
  really
• 31:34
  need
• 31:34
  their
• 31:34
  moms
• 31:35
  when
• 31:35
  they're
• 31:35
  really
• 31:35
  little.
• 31:36
  But
• 31:37
  the
• 31:37
  way
• 31:37
  the
• 31:38
  world
• 31:38
  works
• 31:38
  and
• 31:39
  the
• 31:39
  way
• 31:39
  careers
• 31:39
  work
• 31:40
  is
• 31:40
  often
• 31:41
  that
• 31:41
  if
• 31:41
  a
• 31:41
  woman
• 31:41
  leaves
• 31:42
  the
• 31:42
  workforce
• 31:42
  for
• 31:43
  several
• 31:43
  years,
• 31:44
  she's
• 31:44
  not
• 31:44
  coming
• 31:44
  back
• 31:45
  to
• 31:45
  the
• 31:45
  same
• 31:45
  place
• 31:46
  that
• 31:46
  she
• 31:47
  was
• 31:47
  when
• 31:47
  she
• 31:48
  left.
• 31:48
  There's
• 31:48
  also
• 31:49
  the
• 31:49
  issue
• 31:49
  of,
• 31:50
  like,
• 31:50
  compounding
• 31:52
  achievements
• 31:52
  that
• 31:53
  she
• 31:53
  would
• 31:53
  have
• 31:53
  made,
• 31:54
  both
• 31:54
  in
• 31:54
  terms
• 31:54
  of
• 31:54
  her
• 31:55
  salary
• 31:55
  and
• 31:55
  her
• 31:56
  prestige
• 31:56
  and
• 31:56
  her
• 31:56
  position.
• 31:57
  And
• 31:58
  it's
• 31:59
  so
• 32:00
  true.
• 32:01
  That
• 32:01
  it's
• 32:01
  like
• 32:02
  you
• 32:02
  want
• 32:02
  to
• 32:02
  be
• 32:02
  able
• 32:03
  to
• 32:03
  do
• 32:03
  everything
• 32:03
  you
• 32:03
  can
• 32:04
  for
• 32:04
  your
• 32:04
  child,
• 32:04
  especially
• 32:04
  if
• 32:05
  they're
• 32:05
  struggling.
• 32:05
  But
• 32:06
  if
• 32:06
  you're
• 32:06
  a
• 32:06
  woman
• 32:07
  who
• 32:07
  works,
• 32:08
  whether
• 32:09
  by
• 32:09
  choice
• 32:09
  or
• 32:10
  by
• 32:10
  necessity,
• 32:11
  this
• 32:11
  is
• 32:12
  so
• 32:13
  hard
• 32:14
  to
• 32:14
  do.
• 32:15
  And
• 32:15
  so
• 32:16
  you
• 32:16
  really
• 32:17
  feel
• 32:18
  if
• 32:18
  part
• 32:19
  of
• 32:19
  the
• 32:19
  problem
• 32:19
  is
• 32:19
  you
• 32:20
  just
• 32:20
  haven't
• 32:20
  been
• 32:20
  around
• 32:20
  and
• 32:20
  they
• 32:21
  need
• 32:21
  you,
• 32:21
  you
• 32:21
  feel
• 32:22
  guilty.
• 32:23
  Yeah,
• 32:24
  that's
• 32:25
  a
• 32:25
  hard
• 32:25
  one.
• 32:26
  Yeah,
• 32:26
  that's
• 32:27
  a
• 32:27
  very
• 32:27
  difficult
• 32:27
  one.
• 32:29
  And
• 32:30
  she
• 32:30
  does,
• 32:31
  you
• 32:31
  know,
• 32:32
  she
• 32:32
  does
• 32:33
  give
• 32:33
  you
• 32:33
  advice,
• 32:34
  you
• 32:34
  know,
• 32:34
  about
• 32:35
  actual
• 32:36
  words
• 32:37
  to
• 32:37
  say
• 32:37
  or
• 32:37
  not
• 32:38
  to
• 32:38
  say
• 32:38
  when
• 32:39
  your
• 32:39
  child
• 32:39
  is
• 32:39
  melting
• 32:40
  down.
• 32:40
  The
• 32:41
  not
• 32:41
  to
• 32:41
  say
• 32:41
  ones
• 32:41
  I
• 32:42
  found
• 32:42
  more
• 32:42
  helpful.
• 32:42
  Yeah.
• 32:43
  Much
• 32:43
  more.
• 32:43
  Because
• 32:43
  I
• 32:43
  think
• 32:44
  a
• 32:44
  lot
• 32:44
  of
• 32:44
  it's
• 32:45
  so
• 32:45
  counterintuitive.
• 32:46
  Right,
• 32:46
  right.
• 32:47
  She
• 32:47
  said
• 32:47
  it's
• 32:47
  interesting
• 32:48
  because
• 32:48
  one
• 32:48
  of
• 32:48
  them
• 32:49
  was,
• 32:49
  it's
• 32:50
  not
• 32:50
  okay
• 32:50
  to
• 32:50
  hit.
• 32:51
  If
• 32:51
  your
• 32:51
  child
• 32:51
  is
• 32:52
  hitting
• 32:52
  you,
• 32:52
  it's
• 32:52
  not
• 32:53
  okay
• 32:53
  to
• 32:53
  hit.
• 32:54
  Don't
• 32:54
  say
• 32:54
  that,
• 32:54
  she
• 32:55
  said,
• 32:55
  because
• 32:55
  that
• 32:56
  won't
• 32:56
  help.
• 32:56
  Which
• 32:57
  is
• 32:57
  interesting.
• 32:58
  It
• 32:58
  kind
• 32:58
  of
• 32:58
  falls
• 32:58
  on
• 32:58
  deaf
• 32:59
  ears,
• 32:59
  I
• 32:59
  guess.
• 33:00
  So
• 33:00
  I
• 33:00
  guess
• 33:00
  it's
• 33:01
  more
• 33:01
  the
• 33:01
  rational
• 33:02
  mind
• 33:02
  that
• 33:02
  they
• 33:02
  can't
• 33:03
  process,
• 33:03
  which
• 33:03
  they're.
• 33:04
  Not
• 33:04
  living
• 33:04
  in,
• 33:04
  in
• 33:04
  that
• 33:04
  moment.
• 33:05
  Right.
• 33:05
  Or
• 33:06
  don't
• 33:06
  say
• 33:06
  stop.
• 33:07
  Even
• 33:07
  though
• 33:07
  that's
• 33:08
  the
• 33:08
  first
• 33:08
  thing
• 33:08
  I
• 33:08
  would
• 33:08
  say.
• 33:09
  I
• 33:09
  would
• 33:09
  say
• 33:09
  stop.
• 33:10
  Yeah.
• 33:11
  Why
• 33:11
  are
• 33:11
  you
• 33:11
  doing
• 33:11
  this?
• 33:12
  How
• 33:12
  many
• 33:13
  times
• 33:13
  have
• 33:13
  I
• 33:13
  told
• 33:13
  you
• 33:13
  not
• 33:14
  to.
• 33:14
  Whatever.
• 33:14
  Don't
• 33:15
  help
• 33:15
  say
• 33:15
  any
• 33:15
  of
• 33:15
  it.
• 33:16
  Or
• 33:17
  definitely
• 33:17
  don't
• 33:18
  say
• 33:18
  calm
• 33:18
  down.
• 33:19
  You
• 33:19
  know,
• 33:19
  that's.
• 33:20
  Don't
• 33:20
  say
• 33:20
  that
• 33:20
  to
• 33:21
  anyone.
• 33:21
  Right.
• 33:21
  If
• 33:22
  someone,
• 33:22
  anyone,
• 33:23
  under
• 33:23
  any
• 33:23
  circumstance
• 33:24
  tells
• 33:25
  me
• 33:26
  to
• 33:26
  calm
• 33:26
  down.
• 33:27
  You
• 33:28
  just
• 33:28
  pressed
• 33:29
  red
• 33:29
  button.
• 33:29
  That's
• 33:30
  the
• 33:30
  red
• 33:30
  button.
• 33:30
  You
• 33:30
  just
• 33:30
  took
• 33:30
  the
• 33:31
  football
• 33:31
  and
• 33:32
  you
• 33:32
  press
• 33:32
  the
• 33:32
  button.
• 33:33
  Right,
• 33:33
  Right.
• 33:34
  And
• 33:34
  the
• 33:34
  nukes
• 33:34
  have
• 33:35
  been
• 33:35
  launched.
• 33:36
  That's
• 33:36
  the
• 33:36
  last
• 33:36
  thing
• 33:36
  to
• 33:37
  say
• 33:37
  to
• 33:37
  anybody
• 33:37
  who's
• 33:38
  upse.
• 33:38
  I
• 33:38
  know,
• 33:39
  but
• 33:39
  anyway,
• 33:39
  can
• 33:39
  we
• 33:40
  just.
• 33:40
  Eliminate
• 33:40
  that
• 33:41
  phrase
• 33:42
  from
• 33:42
  the
• 33:42
  world?
• 33:43
  Yeah.
• 33:44
  Calm
• 33:44
  down.
• 33:45
  Your
• 33:45
  dad
• 33:46
  says
• 33:46
  that
• 33:46
  to
• 33:46
  me
• 33:47
  all
• 33:47
  the
• 33:47
  time.
• 33:47
  I
• 33:48
  was
• 33:48
  like,
• 33:48
  don't
• 33:49
  tell
• 33:49
  me
• 33:49
  to
• 33:49
  calm
• 33:50
  down.
• 33:50
  He's
• 33:50
  fired.
• 33:51
  That's
• 33:51
  right.
• 33:52
  My
• 33:52
  God.
• 33:52
  Anyway,
• 33:53
  he
• 33:53
  used
• 33:53
  to
• 33:54
  say
• 33:54
  that
• 33:54
  to
• 33:54
  me
• 33:54
  a
• 33:54
  lot
• 33:54
  as
• 33:54
  a
• 33:55
  child,
• 33:55
  and.
• 33:55
  I
• 33:55
  would
• 33:55
  just
• 33:55
  laugh
• 33:56
  in
• 33:56
  his
• 33:56
  face.
• 33:57
  Really.
• 33:58
  I'm
• 33:58
  not
• 33:58
  going
• 33:58
  to
• 33:59
  calm
• 33:59
  down.
• 33:59
  No,
• 33:59
  thanks.
• 34:00
  Okay,
• 34:00
  the
• 34:00
  next
• 34:01
  parts.
• 34:02
  Your
• 34:02
  desire.
• 34:02
  I
• 34:02
  reject
• 34:03
  your
• 34:03
  desire.
• 34:04
  No,
• 34:06
  no.
• 34:07
  Okay,
• 34:08
  now
• 34:08
  this
• 34:08
  is
• 34:08
  part
• 34:08
  four.
• 34:09
  Part
• 34:09
  four.
• 34:09
  No
• 34:10
  more
• 34:10
  storm
• 34:10
  chasing.
• 34:12
  Okay.
• 34:12
  You
• 34:12
  want
• 34:12
  to
• 34:12
  talk
• 34:13
  about
• 34:13
  it?
• 34:13
  Sure.
• 34:13
  You
• 34:13
  can
• 34:13
  start.
• 34:14
  So
• 34:14
  another
• 34:15
  author
• 34:15
  that
• 34:15
  does
• 34:15
  not
• 34:16
  believe
• 34:16
  in
• 34:16
  discipline.
• 34:17
  Right.
• 34:18
  And
• 34:18
  as
• 34:18
  of
• 34:18
  now,
• 34:19
  I'm
• 34:19
  still
• 34:19
  very
• 34:19
  much
• 34:19
  in
• 34:20
  this
• 34:20
  camp
• 34:20
  myself.
• 34:21
  Well,
• 34:22
  yeah,
• 34:22
  I
• 34:23
  don't
• 34:23
  know.
• 34:23
  We'll
• 34:24
  see
• 34:24
  how
• 34:24
  long
• 34:24
  you
• 34:25
  stay
• 34:25
  there,
• 34:25
  but
• 34:25
  let's.
• 34:26
  Okay,
• 34:26
  we'll
• 34:27
  see.
• 34:27
  It
• 34:28
  makes
• 34:28
  sense.
• 34:28
  When
• 34:28
  you
• 34:29
  say
• 34:29
  the
• 34:29
  word
• 34:30
  yes.
• 34:30
  But
• 34:31
  is
• 34:32
  it
• 34:32
  effective?
• 34:32
  Is
• 34:33
  the
• 34:33
  question.
• 34:34
  Okay,
• 34:35
  so
• 34:35
  she
• 34:35
  believes
• 34:36
  in
• 34:36
  guiding
• 34:36
  your
• 34:36
  kids
• 34:37
  and
• 34:37
  helping
• 34:37
  them
• 34:37
  create
• 34:38
  plans
• 34:38
  that
• 34:38
  work
• 34:38
  and
• 34:39
  teaching
• 34:39
  them
• 34:39
  to
• 34:40
  problem
• 34:40
  solve
• 34:40
  all
• 34:41
  ideas
• 34:41
  that
• 34:41
  I
• 34:42
  support
• 34:42
  in
• 34:43
  theory,
• 34:43
  again
• 34:44
  in
• 34:44
  practice.
• 34:45
  Mom,
• 34:45
  does
• 34:45
  it
• 34:46
  work?
• 34:46
  I
• 34:47
  don't
• 34:47
  know.
• 34:47
  I
• 34:47
  mean,
• 34:48
  you
• 34:48
  know,
• 34:48
  there
• 34:49
  comes
• 34:49
  a
• 34:49
  point
• 34:50
  where
• 34:51
  being
• 34:51
  rational
• 34:52
  with
• 34:52
  your
• 34:52
  child
• 34:53
  just.
• 34:54
  Maybe
• 34:55
  it
• 34:55
  depends
• 34:55
  on
• 34:55
  the
• 34:55
  child.
• 34:56
  I
• 34:56
  don't
• 34:56
  know.
• 34:56
  I
• 34:57
  mean,
• 34:57
  certainly
• 34:57
  these
• 34:57
  are
• 34:58
  skills
• 34:58
  we
• 34:58
  want
• 34:58
  to
• 34:58
  teach
• 34:59
  our
• 34:59
  kids.
• 35:00
  You
• 35:00
  know,
• 35:00
  she
• 35:01
  says
• 35:01
  if
• 35:01
  you
• 35:01
  are
• 35:01
  punishing
• 35:02
  your
• 35:02
  kids,
• 35:03
  if
• 35:03
  you're
• 35:04
  restricting,
• 35:05
  you
• 35:05
  know,
• 35:06
  you
• 35:06
  go
• 35:06
  on
• 35:06
  restriction
• 35:07
  or
• 35:09
  you
• 35:10
  hit
• 35:10
  them
• 35:10
  or
• 35:11
  whatever
• 35:11
  terrible
• 35:12
  punishment
• 35:12
  you
• 35:12
  might
• 35:13
  inflict
• 35:14
  on
• 35:14
  a
• 35:14
  child.
• 35:14
  Never
• 35:14
  hit
• 35:15
  a
• 35:15
  child.
• 35:15
  Well,
• 35:15
  I'm
• 35:16
  just.
• 35:16
  You're
• 35:17
  teaching
• 35:17
  them
• 35:17
  all
• 35:17
  the
• 35:18
  wrong
• 35:18
  things
• 35:18
  is
• 35:18
  essentially
• 35:19
  what
• 35:19
  she's
• 35:19
  saying
• 35:20
  is
• 35:20
  that
• 35:20
  the
• 35:20
  message.
• 35:21
  Your
• 35:21
  child
• 35:22
  will
• 35:22
  hide
• 35:22
  things
• 35:22
  from
• 35:23
  you.
• 35:23
  They'll
• 35:23
  just
• 35:23
  be
• 35:24
  trying
• 35:24
  not
• 35:24
  to
• 35:24
  get
• 35:25
  punished.
• 35:26
  They're
• 35:26
  not
• 35:26
  gonna
• 35:26
  open
• 35:26
  up
• 35:27
  to
• 35:27
  you.
• 35:27
  There's
• 35:28
  a
• 35:28
  lot
• 35:28
  of
• 35:28
  good
• 35:28
  reasons
• 35:29
  for
• 35:29
  not
• 35:29
  punishing
• 35:30
  your
• 35:30
  child.
• 35:30
  Totally.
• 35:31
  Yeah,
• 35:31
  totally.
• 35:32
  If
• 35:32
  you
• 35:32
  can
• 35:32
  find
• 35:33
  that
• 35:33
  child
• 35:33
  who
• 35:34
  will
• 35:34
  be
• 35:34
  rational,
• 35:35
  good
• 35:35
  luck.
• 35:36
  I
• 35:37
  mean,
• 35:37
  I
• 35:37
  don't
• 35:37
  know.
• 35:37
  We'll
• 35:37
  see.
• 35:39
  Okay.
• 35:39
  But
• 35:40
  her
• 35:40
  approach
• 35:40
  is
• 35:42
  get
• 35:42
  to
• 35:42
  the
• 35:42
  root
• 35:43
  of
• 35:43
  the
• 35:43
  what
• 35:43
  the
• 35:43
  problem
• 35:44
  is
• 35:44
  with
• 35:44
  the
• 35:45
  child.
• 35:45
  Problem
• 35:46
  solve
• 35:46
  with
• 35:47
  them,
• 35:47
  build
• 35:48
  skills
• 35:49
  to
• 35:49
  help
• 35:49
  them
• 35:49
  get
• 35:49
  ahead
• 35:50
  of
• 35:50
  the
• 35:50
  challenges.
• 35:51
  And
• 35:51
  in
• 35:51
  fact,
• 35:52
  she
• 35:52
  advocates
• 35:53
  having
• 35:53
  what
• 35:54
  she
• 35:54
  calls
• 35:54
  an
• 35:54
  ahead
• 35:55
  of
• 35:55
  the
• 35:55
  moment
• 35:56
  plan.
• 35:57
  Another
• 35:57
  name,
• 35:58
  another
• 35:58
  name
• 35:59
  for
• 35:59
  problems
• 35:59
  that
• 36:00
  will
• 36:00
  come
• 36:01
  up.
• 36:01
  The
• 36:01
  names
• 36:01
  are
• 36:01
  getting
• 36:02
  long
• 36:02
  and
• 36:02
  hard
• 36:03
  to
• 36:03
  remember.
• 36:03
  I
• 36:04
  know.
• 36:04
  So
• 36:04
  there's
• 36:05
  the
• 36:05
  ahead
• 36:05
  of
• 36:05
  the
• 36:05
  moment
• 36:06
  plan
• 36:06
  that
• 36:06
  you
• 36:06
  have
• 36:07
  to
• 36:07
  figure
• 36:07
  out
• 36:07
  ahead
• 36:08
  of
• 36:08
  the
• 36:08
  moment.
• 36:09
  And
• 36:09
  you
• 36:09
  always
• 36:10
  start
• 36:10
  with
• 36:10
  your
• 36:11
  another
• 36:11
  name,
• 36:11
  your
• 36:12
  biggest
• 36:12
  chaos
• 36:13
  causer.
• 36:15
  I'd
• 36:15
  be
• 36:15
  so
• 36:16
  mad
• 36:16
  if
• 36:16
  someone
• 36:17
  called
• 36:17
  me
• 36:17
  that.
• 36:18
  Well,
• 36:19
  what
• 36:19
  is
• 36:19
  the
• 36:20
  biggest.
• 36:20
  That's
• 36:20
  probably
• 36:20
  what
• 36:20
  my
• 36:21
  old
• 36:21
  boss
• 36:21
  called
• 36:22
  me.
• 36:22
  No.
• 36:22
  Well,
• 36:23
  you
• 36:23
  call.
• 36:24
  You're
• 36:24
  not
• 36:24
  calling
• 36:24
  the
• 36:25
  person
• 36:25
  the
• 36:25
  chaos
• 36:26
  causer.
• 36:27
  You
• 36:27
  say
• 36:27
  it
• 36:27
  to
• 36:27
  yourself
• 36:28
  in
• 36:28
  your
• 36:28
  mind.
• 36:29
  No,
• 36:29
  it's
• 36:30
  what
• 36:31
  causes
• 36:31
  the
• 36:32
  chaos
• 36:32
  for
• 36:32
  your
• 36:32
  child.
• 36:33
  Oh,
• 36:33
  I
• 36:34
  thought
• 36:34
  we
• 36:34
  were
• 36:34
  referring.
• 36:34
  So
• 36:35
  when
• 36:35
  I
• 36:35
  read
• 36:35
  this,
• 36:35
  I
• 36:36
  was
• 36:36
  like,
• 36:36
  oh,
• 36:36
  she's
• 36:36
  referring
• 36:37
  to
• 36:37
  a
• 36:37
  specific
• 36:37
  child.
• 36:38
  Well,
• 36:38
  I
• 36:38
  think
• 36:38
  she
• 36:39
  kind
• 36:39
  of
• 36:39
  is
• 36:39
  sometimes,
• 36:40
  but
• 36:40
  other
• 36:41
  times
• 36:41
  she's
• 36:41
  talking
• 36:41
  about
• 36:42
  what
• 36:43
  sets
• 36:43
  your
• 36:43
  child
• 36:44
  off
• 36:44
  the
• 36:44
  most
• 36:46
  of
• 36:46
  the
• 36:46
  time.
• 36:46
  So
• 36:47
  then
• 36:47
  she
• 36:47
  comes
• 36:47
  back
• 36:47
  to
• 36:47
  the
• 36:47
  magic
• 36:48
  reset
• 36:48
  button
• 36:49
  for
• 36:49
  the
• 36:49
  ahead
• 36:49
  of
• 36:50
  the
• 36:50
  moment
• 36:50
  plan
• 36:52
  in
• 36:52
  the
• 36:52
  interest
• 36:52
  of
• 36:53
  taming
• 36:53
  the
• 36:53
  chaos
• 36:54
  causer.
• 36:54
  Well,
• 36:55
  that's
• 36:55
  right.
• 36:55
  Always
• 36:55
  make
• 36:56
  sure
• 36:56
  that
• 36:56
  when
• 36:56
  you
• 36:57
  know,
• 36:57
  at
• 36:57
  this
• 36:57
  point
• 36:58
  on
• 36:58
  point
• 36:58
  four,
• 36:59
  or
• 36:59
  part
• 36:59
  four,
• 37:00
  we
• 37:01
  make
• 37:01
  sure
• 37:01
  you
• 37:01
  are
• 37:02
  doing
• 37:02
  those
• 37:02
  five
• 37:03
  positives
• 37:04
  for
• 37:04
  every
• 37:04
  negative.
• 37:05
  But
• 37:06
  then
• 37:06
  she
• 37:06
  takes
• 37:06
  you
• 37:07
  through
• 37:07
  this
• 37:07
  whole
• 37:07
  thing
• 37:08
  about.
• 37:08
  And
• 37:08
  this
• 37:09
  kind
• 37:09
  of
• 37:09
  makes
• 37:09
  sense.
• 37:10
  Where,
• 37:11
  okay,
• 37:12
  you
• 37:12
  figure
• 37:12
  out
• 37:12
  what
• 37:12
  the
• 37:12
  big
• 37:13
  chaos
• 37:13
  causer
• 37:14
  is
• 37:14
  like.
• 37:14
  Let's
• 37:15
  say
• 37:15
  they're
• 37:15
  always
• 37:16
  getting
• 37:16
  in
• 37:16
  trouble
• 37:16
  at
• 37:17
  school.
• 37:17
  And
• 37:18
  you
• 37:18
  create
• 37:19
  like
• 37:19
  a
• 37:19
  spiral,
• 37:20
  like
• 37:20
  a
• 37:20
  tornado
• 37:21
  where
• 37:22
  you
• 37:22
  look
• 37:22
  at
• 37:23
  every
• 37:23
  moment
• 37:24
  leading
• 37:24
  up
• 37:25
  to
• 37:25
  the
• 37:25
  point
• 37:25
  where
• 37:25
  your
• 37:26
  child
• 37:26
  loses
• 37:27
  it
• 37:28
  and
• 37:28
  you
• 37:28
  analyze
• 37:29
  all
• 37:29
  those
• 37:30
  moments.
• 37:31
  Retrace
• 37:31
  the
• 37:31
  steps.
• 37:32
  Retrace
• 37:32
  the
• 37:33
  steps.
• 37:33
  Yeah.
• 37:34
  So
• 37:34
  that
• 37:34
  maybe
• 37:35
  if
• 37:35
  you
• 37:35
  can
• 37:36
  catch
• 37:36
  it
• 37:36
  early
• 37:36
  on,
• 37:37
  you
• 37:37
  can
• 37:37
  keep
• 37:38
  it
• 37:38
  from
• 37:38
  becoming
• 37:39
  this
• 37:39
  out
• 37:39
  of
• 37:39
  control
• 37:40
  tornado.
• 37:40
  Yes.
• 37:42
  And
• 37:42
  also
• 37:42
  she
• 37:43
  says,
• 37:43
  look
• 37:43
  for
• 37:43
  the
• 37:43
  tipping
• 37:44
  point.
• 37:44
  That's
• 37:45
  the
• 37:45
  point
• 37:45
  where
• 37:46
  the
• 37:47
  problem
• 37:48
  gets
• 37:48
  so
• 37:48
  bad
• 37:49
  that
• 37:51
  nothing
• 37:51
  you
• 37:51
  do
• 37:51
  is
• 37:52
  going
• 37:52
  to
• 37:52
  stop
• 37:52
  it.
• 37:52
  Your
• 37:52
  child
• 37:53
  is
• 37:53
  just
• 37:53
  going
• 37:53
  to
• 37:53
  lose
• 37:53
  it.
• 37:54
  That's
• 37:54
  one
• 37:54
  of
• 37:54
  my
• 37:54
  favorite
• 37:55
  Malcolm
• 37:55
  Gladwell
• 37:56
  books.
• 37:56
  Yeah,
• 37:57
  but
• 37:57
  it's
• 37:57
  not
• 37:57
  the
• 37:57
  same.
• 37:58
  It's
• 37:58
  not
• 37:58
  the
• 37:58
  same.
• 37:59
  But
• 37:59
  just,
• 37:59
  just
• 38:00
  shout
• 38:00
  out
• 38:00
  to
• 38:00
  Malcolm
• 38:01
  Gladwell.
• 38:01
  I
• 38:01
  like
• 38:02
  him.
• 38:02
  Yeah,
• 38:02
  I
• 38:02
  love
• 38:02
  him.
• 38:03
  Yeah,
• 38:03
  okay.
• 38:04
  Love
• 38:04
  that
• 38:04
  book.
• 38:05
  So
• 38:05
  anyway,
• 38:05
  so
• 38:05
  they.
• 38:06
  He
• 38:06
  takes
• 38:06
  you
• 38:06
  through
• 38:07
  an
• 38:07
  example
• 38:08
  of
• 38:08
  a
• 38:08
  kid
• 38:08
  who
• 38:09
  gets
• 38:09
  in
• 38:09
  trouble
• 38:09
  at
• 38:09
  school.
• 38:10
  And
• 38:11
  what
• 38:11
  happens?
• 38:11
  It
• 38:12
  starts
• 38:12
  out
• 38:12
  like
• 38:13
  the
• 38:13
  teacher
• 38:13
  announces
• 38:14
  it's
• 38:14
  going
• 38:14
  to
• 38:14
  be
• 38:14
  writing
• 38:15
  time.
• 38:16
  And
• 38:16
  this
• 38:16
  kid
• 38:16
  doesn't,
• 38:17
  obviously
• 38:17
  doesn't
• 38:17
  like
• 38:18
  to
• 38:18
  write.
• 38:18
  So
• 38:18
  he
• 38:18
  starts
• 38:19
  like
• 38:19
  bothering
• 38:20
  the
• 38:20
  kids
• 38:20
  around
• 38:20
  him
• 38:21
  and
• 38:21
  he
• 38:21
  keeps
• 38:21
  getting
• 38:21
  in
• 38:22
  trouble
• 38:22
  and.
• 38:23
  And
• 38:23
  then
• 38:23
  he
• 38:23
  won't
• 38:24
  sit
• 38:24
  at
• 38:24
  his
• 38:24
  desk
• 38:25
  and
• 38:25
  she
• 38:26
  threatens
• 38:26
  the
• 38:26
  teacher,
• 38:27
  threatens
• 38:27
  to
• 38:27
  send
• 38:27
  him
• 38:27
  to
• 38:28
  the
• 38:28
  principal.
• 38:28
  And
• 38:28
  there's
• 38:28
  every
• 38:29
  step,
• 38:29
  you
• 38:29
  know,
• 38:29
  which
• 38:30
  they
• 38:30
  map
• 38:30
  out.
• 38:31
  And
• 38:32
  finally
• 38:33
  the
• 38:33
  mother
• 38:33
  gets
• 38:33
  called
• 38:34
  and
• 38:35
  when
• 38:35
  they
• 38:35
  map
• 38:35
  everything
• 38:36
  out,
• 38:36
  they
• 38:36
  realize,
• 38:37
  let's
• 38:37
  just
• 38:37
  give
• 38:37
  the
• 38:37
  kids
• 38:38
  some
• 38:38
  help
• 38:38
  with
• 38:38
  his
• 38:39
  writing
• 38:40
  because
• 38:40
  then
• 38:40
  maybe
• 38:41
  he
• 38:41
  won't
• 38:41
  lose
• 38:41
  it
• 38:41
  every
• 38:42
  time.
• 38:42
  It's
• 38:42
  writing
• 38:43
  time
• 38:43
  at
• 38:43
  school,
• 38:43
  which
• 38:44
  makes
• 38:44
  sense.
• 38:45
  And
• 38:45
  so
• 38:45
  mapping
• 38:46
  it
• 38:46
  out
• 38:46
  and
• 38:47
  finding
• 38:47
  the
• 38:47
  root.
• 38:48
  Root.
• 38:49
  Yes.
• 38:50
  You
• 38:50
  might
• 38:50
  trace
• 38:51
  your
• 38:51
  steps
• 38:51
  yesterday
• 38:52
  when
• 38:52
  you
• 38:52
  lost
• 38:52
  your
• 38:53
  airpod.
• 38:53
  I
• 38:54
  did.
• 38:54
  I
• 38:55
  did.
• 38:55
  You
• 38:56
  found
• 38:56
  it.
• 38:56
  I
• 38:56
  was
• 38:56
  so
• 38:56
  upset.
• 38:57
  In
• 38:57
  your
• 38:58
  coat.
• 38:58
  I
• 38:58
  did
• 38:58
  find
• 38:59
  it.
• 38:59
  I
• 38:59
  was
• 39:00
  walking
• 39:00
  down
• 39:00
  the
• 39:00
  street
• 39:01
  yesterday
• 39:02
  and
• 39:02
  I
• 39:02
  see
• 39:03
  somebody
• 39:04
  walking
• 39:04
  your
• 39:05
  two
• 39:05
  dogs.
• 39:06
  So
• 39:06
  it's
• 39:07
  dark
• 39:07
  and
• 39:08
  your
• 39:08
  dogs
• 39:09
  see
• 39:09
  me
• 39:09
  and
• 39:10
  I'm
• 39:10
  surprised
• 39:10
  they
• 39:11
  recognize
• 39:11
  me.
• 39:11
  And
• 39:11
  they
• 39:11
  both.
• 39:12
  They're
• 39:12
  big
• 39:13
  dogs.
• 39:14
  They're
• 39:14
  very
• 39:14
  big.
• 39:14
  They
• 39:14
  jumped
• 39:15
  on
• 39:15
  me.
• 39:15
  Which
• 39:15
  was.
• 39:16
  They
• 39:16
  were
• 39:17
  saying
• 39:17
  they
• 39:17
  love
• 39:18
  you.
• 39:18
  I
• 39:18
  know.
• 39:19
  Anyway,
• 39:19
  they
• 39:19
  knocked
• 39:20
  out
• 39:20
  my
• 39:20
  airpod.
• 39:22
  And
• 39:22
  then
• 39:22
  next
• 39:23
  thing,
• 39:23
  I
• 39:23
  can't
• 39:23
  find
• 39:24
  it
• 39:24
  anywhere.
• 39:24
  I'm
• 39:25
  looking
• 39:25
  everywhere.
• 39:26
  People
• 39:26
  are
• 39:26
  helping
• 39:27
  me.
• 39:28
  It's
• 39:28
  like
• 39:28
  everybody
• 39:29
  was
• 39:29
  being
• 39:29
  so
• 39:30
  nice.
• 39:30
  Nobody
• 39:31
  could
• 39:31
  find
• 39:31
  it
• 39:32
  because
• 39:32
  it
• 39:32
  was
• 39:33
  where
• 39:33
  in
• 39:34
  my
• 39:34
  clothes.
• 39:36
  So
• 39:36
  I
• 39:36
  retraced
• 39:37
  my.
• 39:37
  I
• 39:37
  tried.
• 39:38
  I
• 39:38
  went
• 39:38
  back
• 39:38
  again
• 39:39
  and
• 39:39
  retraced.
• 39:40
  Looked
• 39:40
  again.
• 39:40
  Anyway,
• 39:41
  anyway.
• 39:41
  But
• 39:42
  that's
• 39:42
  what
• 39:42
  you
• 39:42
  do
• 39:43
  here
• 39:43
  with
• 39:43
  your
• 39:43
  child's
• 39:44
  bad
• 39:44
  behavior.
• 39:44
  You
• 39:45
  go
• 39:45
  back
• 39:45
  to
• 39:45
  the
• 39:45
  beginning
• 39:46
  and.
• 39:46
  Hope
• 39:46
  bystanders
• 39:47
  are
• 39:48
  helpful.
• 39:48
  Right,
• 39:49
  Right.
• 39:49
  Exactly.
• 39:50
  And
• 39:50
  then
• 39:51
  here's
• 39:51
  another
• 39:51
  thing.
• 39:52
  Family
• 39:52
  huddles.
• 39:53
  You
• 39:53
  want
• 39:53
  to
• 39:53
  talk
• 39:53
  about
• 39:54
  family
• 39:54
  huddles?
• 39:57
  It's
• 39:57
  a
• 39:57
  tool.
• 39:58
  It's
• 39:58
  a
• 39:58
  tool.
• 39:58
  Yes.
• 39:59
  Family
• 39:59
  huddles.
• 39:59
  And
• 40:00
  this
• 40:00
  is
• 40:00
  a
• 40:00
  tool
• 40:00
  we
• 40:00
  have
• 40:01
  seen
• 40:01
  mentioned
• 40:01
  in
• 40:02
  other
• 40:02
  books.
• 40:02
  Yes.
• 40:03
  So
• 40:03
  presumably
• 40:04
  this
• 40:04
  works.
• 40:05
  It
• 40:06
  sounds
• 40:06
  silly
• 40:06
  to
• 40:07
  me,
• 40:07
  but
• 40:07
  again,
• 40:08
  I've
• 40:08
  never.
• 40:09
  I've
• 40:09
  never
• 40:09
  used
• 40:10
  this
• 40:10
  tool,
• 40:11
  so
• 40:11
  I
• 40:12
  can't
• 40:12
  say
• 40:12
  for
• 40:12
  sure
• 40:13
  how
• 40:13
  effective
• 40:13
  it
• 40:13
  is.
• 40:14
  But
• 40:14
  instead
• 40:14
  of
• 40:15
  solving
• 40:15
  the
• 40:15
  problems,
• 40:16
  you
• 40:16
  instigate
• 40:16
  a
• 40:17
  family
• 40:17
  huddle.
• 40:18
  So
• 40:18
  you
• 40:18
  bring
• 40:18
  the
• 40:19
  issues
• 40:19
  up
• 40:20
  with.
• 40:20
  Everyone
• 40:20
  in
• 40:21
  the
• 40:21
  family.
• 40:21
  This.
• 40:22
  I'd
• 40:22
  prefer
• 40:22
  a
• 40:22
  more
• 40:23
  formal
• 40:23
  situation.
• 40:24
  I'd
• 40:24
  prefer
• 40:24
  a
• 40:25
  round
• 40:25
  table
• 40:26
  and
• 40:27
  I
• 40:27
  prefer
• 40:27
  everyone
• 40:27
  bringing
• 40:28
  their
• 40:28
  grievances.
• 40:30
  You're
• 40:30
  not
• 40:30
  really
• 40:31
  huddling.
• 40:32
  You're
• 40:32
  not
• 40:32
  huddling.
• 40:33
  This
• 40:33
  is
• 40:33
  not
• 40:34
  a
• 40:34
  football
• 40:34
  game.
• 40:35
  It's
• 40:35
  not
• 40:35
  like
• 40:36
  that.
• 40:37
  She
• 40:37
  just
• 40:37
  calls
• 40:38
  it
• 40:38
  a
• 40:38
  huddle.
• 40:39
  Oh,
• 40:39
  my
• 40:39
  God.
• 40:39
  I
• 40:40
  don't
• 40:40
  know.
• 40:40
  Personally,
• 40:41
  I'm
• 40:41
  sitting
• 40:41
  at
• 40:41
  a
• 40:41
  table.
• 40:42
  Okay?
• 40:44
  You
• 40:44
  could
• 40:44
  sit
• 40:45
  at
• 40:45
  a
• 40:45
  table.
• 40:45
  She
• 40:45
  just
• 40:46
  calls
• 40:46
  it
• 40:46
  a
• 40:46
  family
• 40:47
  huddle.
• 40:47
  She
• 40:47
  literally
• 40:48
  vents.
• 40:49
  Did
• 40:49
  you
• 40:50
  think
• 40:50
  you
• 40:50
  had
• 40:50
  to
• 40:50
  huddle?
• 40:51
  My
• 40:51
  left
• 40:52
  brain
• 40:52
  is
• 40:53
  working
• 40:53
  better
• 40:53
  than
• 40:54
  my
• 40:54
  right.
• 40:54
  Today.
• 40:55
  Everything's
• 40:55
  very
• 40:56
  literal
• 40:56
  to
• 40:56
  me
• 40:57
  because
• 40:57
  I
• 40:57
  Woke
• 40:57
  up
• 40:58
  at
• 40:58
  3:30
• 40:58
  this
• 40:59
  morning.
• 40:59
  Okay,
• 40:59
  okay,
• 41:00
  all
• 41:00
  right,
• 41:00
  let
• 41:01
  me.
• 41:01
  Let
• 41:01
  me
• 41:01
  stop
• 41:01
  you
• 41:02
  right
• 41:02
  there.
• 41:02
  Okay?
• 41:03
  Tina's
• 41:03
  gonna.
• 41:04
  Dean
• 41:04
  is
• 41:04
  gonna
• 41:04
  discuss
• 41:05
  family
• 41:05
  at
• 41:06
  all.
• 41:06
  I'm
• 41:07
  going
• 41:07
  to
• 41:07
  clarify
• 41:08
  the
• 41:08
  huddle.
• 41:09
  It's
• 41:09
  not
• 41:09
  like
• 41:09
  a
• 41:10
  football
• 41:10
  huddle.
• 41:10
  You
• 41:11
  don't
• 41:11
  have
• 41:11
  to
• 41:11
  huddle
• 41:12
  with
• 41:12
  everyone.
• 41:12
  It's
• 41:13
  just
• 41:13
  like,
• 41:13
  you
• 41:14
  know,
• 41:14
  get
• 41:14
  together
• 41:15
  with
• 41:15
  your
• 41:15
  family,
• 41:16
  that
• 41:16
  we
• 41:16
  all
• 41:16
  have
• 41:16
  to
• 41:17
  get
• 41:17
  really
• 41:17
  close.
• 41:17
  You
• 41:18
  don't
• 41:18
  have
• 41:18
  to
• 41:18
  do
• 41:18
  that.
• 41:19
  You
• 41:19
  just
• 41:19
  call
• 41:19
  it
• 41:20
  a
• 41:20
  family
• 41:20
  huddle.
• 41:21
  Oh,
• 41:21
  my
• 41:21
  God.
• 41:21
  Okay.
• 41:22
  You
• 41:22
  bring
• 41:22
  the
• 41:22
  issues
• 41:22
  and
• 41:23
  problems
• 41:24
  to
• 41:24
  get
• 41:24
  with
• 41:25
  to
• 41:25
  everyone
• 41:25
  in
• 41:25
  the
• 41:26
  family.
• 41:26
  At
• 41:26
  a
• 41:27
  reasonable
• 41:27
  distance.
• 41:27
  Right?
• 41:28
  So
• 41:28
  if
• 41:28
  you
• 41:29
  could
• 41:29
  be
• 41:29
  at
• 41:29
  a
• 41:29
  table,
• 41:30
  whatever,
• 41:31
  you
• 41:31
  could
• 41:31
  sit
• 41:31
  on
• 41:31
  the
• 41:31
  couch,
• 41:32
  that
• 41:32
  would
• 41:32
  be
• 41:33
  okay
• 41:33
  too.
• 41:34
  But
• 41:34
  you.
• 41:35
  The
• 41:35
  idea
• 41:36
  is
• 41:36
  that
• 41:37
  together
• 41:37
  as
• 41:38
  a
• 41:38
  family,
• 41:39
  you
• 41:40
  try
• 41:40
  to
• 41:40
  solve
• 41:41
  a
• 41:41
  problem,
• 41:41
  like,
• 41:42
  intentionally.
• 41:42
  Yeah,
• 41:43
  together.
• 41:43
  Like,
• 41:44
  what
• 41:44
  are
• 41:44
  we
• 41:44
  gonna
• 41:44
  do
• 41:45
  when
• 41:45
  Billy
• 41:46
  falls
• 41:46
  apart
• 41:47
  next
• 41:47
  time
• 41:48
  over
• 41:49
  such
• 41:49
  and
• 41:49
  such.
• 41:50
  I'm
• 41:50
  sorry.
• 41:50
  I
• 41:50
  just
• 41:51
  had
• 41:51
  the
• 41:51
  weirdest
• 41:52
  image.
• 41:52
  I
• 41:52
  thought
• 41:53
  you
• 41:53
  were
• 41:53
  gonna
• 41:53
  say
• 41:53
  when
• 41:54
  Billy
• 41:55
  falls
• 41:55
  down
• 41:55
  the
• 41:56
  well
• 41:56
  again.
• 41:58
  I
• 41:58
  don't
• 41:58
  know
• 41:59
  what's
• 41:59
  wrong
• 41:59
  with
• 41:59
  my
• 42:00
  brain
• 42:00
  today.
• 42:01
  I
• 42:01
  think
• 42:01
  it's
• 42:02
  because
• 42:02
  you're
• 42:02
  tired.
• 42:02
  It's
• 42:03
  been
• 42:03
  a
• 42:03
  long
• 42:03
  day.
• 42:04
  Okay.
• 42:05
  It's
• 42:05
  okay.
• 42:05
  Billy's
• 42:06
  not
• 42:06
  falling
• 42:06
  down
• 42:06
  the
• 42:06
  well.
• 42:06
  No.
• 42:09
  He'S
• 42:09
  losing.
• 42:10
  He's.
• 42:10
  Okay,
• 42:10
  he's
• 42:10
  having
• 42:11
  a
• 42:11
  hard
• 42:11
  time.
• 42:11
  He's
• 42:11
  losing
• 42:12
  it.
• 42:12
  He's
• 42:12
  having
• 42:12
  a
• 42:12
  hard
• 42:13
  time
• 42:13
  because
• 42:14
  he's
• 42:14
  mad
• 42:15
  that
• 42:16
  his
• 42:17
  Best
• 42:17
  friend
• 42:17
  isn't
• 42:18
  talking
• 42:18
  to
• 42:19
  him.
• 42:19
  And,
• 42:19
  and
• 42:20
  he
• 42:20
  gets,
• 42:20
  he's
• 42:21
  prone
• 42:21
  to
• 42:21
  getting
• 42:21
  very
• 42:22
  angry.
• 42:22
  Yes.
• 42:23
  And
• 42:23
  so
• 42:23
  what
• 42:24
  are
• 42:24
  we
• 42:24
  gonna
• 42:24
  do
• 42:24
  next
• 42:25
  time
• 42:25
  Billy
• 42:25
  has
• 42:25
  a
• 42:26
  problem?
• 42:26
  Let's
• 42:26
  all
• 42:26
  talk
• 42:27
  about
• 42:27
  it.
• 42:27
  And
• 42:27
  if
• 42:28
  I
• 42:28
  were
• 42:28
  Billy,
• 42:28
  I'd
• 42:28
  be
• 42:29
  pissed.
• 42:29
  What
• 42:29
  if
• 42:30
  everyone
• 42:30
  was
• 42:30
  talking
• 42:30
  about
• 42:31
  your.
• 42:31
  Oh,
• 42:31
  okay,
• 42:31
  everyone
• 42:32
  now
• 42:32
  has
• 42:32
  a
• 42:33
  say
• 42:33
  in
• 42:33
  my
• 42:34
  problem.
• 42:35
  Be
• 42:35
  like,
• 42:35
  no,
• 42:36
  thank
• 42:36
  you.
• 42:37
  Well,
• 42:37
  what
• 42:37
  she
• 42:37
  says
• 42:38
  is
• 42:38
  that
• 42:38
  you
• 42:39
  should
• 42:39
  first
• 42:39
  use
• 42:39
  it
• 42:40
  for
• 42:40
  things
• 42:40
  that
• 42:40
  are
• 42:41
  positive.
• 42:41
  Like,
• 42:42
  for
• 42:42
  example,
• 42:43
  maybe
• 42:43
  brainstorm.
• 42:44
  Get
• 42:44
  everyone
• 42:45
  in
• 42:45
  the
• 42:45
  family
• 42:45
  together
• 42:46
  to
• 42:46
  brainstorm.
• 42:46
  Where
• 42:47
  should
• 42:47
  we
• 42:47
  go
• 42:47
  on
• 42:47
  vacation?
• 42:48
  Something
• 42:48
  good.
• 42:49
  And
• 42:49
  so
• 42:49
  the
• 42:50
  fact.
• 42:50
  So
• 42:50
  we're
• 42:50
  deceiving
• 42:51
  Billy?
• 42:51
  No,
• 42:52
  we're,
• 42:52
  we're
• 42:52
  just
• 42:53
  used
• 42:53
  to,
• 42:53
  we're
• 42:53
  talking
• 42:54
  about
• 42:54
  things
• 42:54
  as
• 42:55
  a
• 42:55
  family
• 42:55
  now.
• 42:55
  We're
• 42:56
  getting
• 42:56
  used
• 42:56
  to
• 42:56
  talking
• 42:57
  about
• 42:57
  things
• 42:57
  as
• 42:57
  a
• 42:57
  family.
• 42:58
  And
• 42:58
  then,
• 42:59
  by
• 42:59
  the
• 42:59
  way,
• 43:00
  Billy,
• 43:01
  it's.
• 43:02
  Time
• 43:02
  to
• 43:02
  talk
• 43:02
  about
• 43:02
  your
• 43:03
  problem.
• 43:04
  I
• 43:04
  know.
• 43:05
  It's
• 43:05
  like
• 43:05
  an
• 43:05
  intervention.
• 43:07
  I
• 43:07
  know.
• 43:07
  Honestly,
• 43:08
  I
• 43:08
  don't
• 43:08
  know
• 43:08
  about
• 43:08
  these
• 43:09
  huddles.
• 43:10
  You
• 43:10
  know,
• 43:10
  I
• 43:10
  was
• 43:11
  trying
• 43:11
  to
• 43:11
  think
• 43:11
  about,
• 43:12
  like
• 43:12
  when
• 43:13
  I
• 43:13
  was
• 43:13
  reading
• 43:13
  about
• 43:13
  the
• 43:14
  family
• 43:14
  huddle
• 43:15
  and
• 43:15
  finding
• 43:16
  solutions
• 43:17
  and
• 43:17
  handling,
• 43:18
  you
• 43:18
  know,
• 43:18
  the
• 43:18
  problems
• 43:19
  of
• 43:19
  the
• 43:19
  chaos
• 43:19
  causer
• 43:20
  child,
• 43:21
  I
• 43:21
  was
• 43:21
  thinking
• 43:22
  like
• 43:22
  in
• 43:22
  those
• 43:23
  moments
• 43:23
  when
• 43:23
  my
• 43:24
  own
• 43:24
  son
• 43:24
  was
• 43:25
  really
• 43:25
  struggling,
• 43:26
  if
• 43:26
  I
• 43:26
  had
• 43:26
  brought
• 43:27
  the
• 43:27
  whole
• 43:27
  family
• 43:27
  together
• 43:28
  in
• 43:28
  a
• 43:28
  huddle
• 43:29
  to
• 43:29
  talk
• 43:30
  about
• 43:30
  his
• 43:30
  issues,
• 43:31
  he
• 43:31
  would
• 43:31
  have
• 43:31
  been
• 43:31
  really
• 43:32
  pissed.
• 43:32
  Yeah,
• 43:32
  that's
• 43:32
  what
• 43:33
  I'm
• 43:33
  saying.
• 43:33
  I
• 43:33
  would
• 43:34
  have
• 43:34
  been
• 43:34
  anybody.
• 43:35
  Again,
• 43:35
  it,
• 43:36
  it's
• 43:36
  giving
• 43:37
  intervention.
• 43:38
  I,
• 43:38
  I
• 43:38
  don't
• 43:38
  know
• 43:38
  about
• 43:39
  it,
• 43:39
  but.
• 43:39
  It'S
• 43:39
  giving
• 43:40
  none
• 43:40
  of
• 43:40
  their
• 43:41
  business.
• 43:41
  Well,
• 43:42
  I,
• 43:42
  I,
• 43:43
  maybe
• 43:43
  if
• 43:43
  it's
• 43:43
  a
• 43:44
  way
• 43:44
  of
• 43:44
  life
• 43:44
  in
• 43:44
  your
• 43:45
  family
• 43:45
  where,
• 43:45
  where
• 43:46
  you
• 43:46
  talk
• 43:46
  about
• 43:47
  things
• 43:47
  and
• 43:47
  get.
• 43:48
  Together,
• 43:48
  it
• 43:48
  feels
• 43:49
  like
• 43:49
  7th
• 43:49
  Heaven.
• 43:49
  Remember
• 43:50
  that
• 43:50
  show?
• 43:51
  Did
• 43:51
  they
• 43:51
  do
• 43:51
  that
• 43:52
  in
• 43:52
  7th
• 43:52
  Heaven?
• 43:52
  I
• 43:53
  didn't
• 43:53
  watch
• 43:53
  it.
• 43:53
  They
• 43:53
  did.
• 43:54
  Anyway,
• 43:54
  moving
• 43:55
  on.
• 43:55
  All
• 43:55
  right,
• 43:55
  so
• 43:56
  that
• 43:56
  is
• 43:56
  a
• 43:57
  storm
• 43:57
  proof
• 43:58
  infrastructure.
• 44:00
  Okay,
• 44:00
  go
• 44:01
  ahead.
• 44:01
  Okay.
• 44:02
  So
• 44:02
  when
• 44:02
  you
• 44:02
  have
• 44:02
  that
• 44:03
  child,
• 44:03
  it's
• 44:03
  important
• 44:03
  that
• 44:04
  your
• 44:04
  other
• 44:04
  children
• 44:04
  aren't
• 44:05
  ignored.
• 44:05
  I'm
• 44:06
  sure
• 44:06
  this
• 44:06
  is
• 44:06
  a
• 44:06
  phenomenon.
• 44:07
  The
• 44:07
  squeaky
• 44:08
  wheel
• 44:08
  gets
• 44:08
  the
• 44:09
  grease.
• 44:09
  Right.
• 44:10
  You
• 44:10
  have
• 44:10
  to
• 44:10
  find
• 44:11
  a
• 44:11
  way
• 44:11
  to
• 44:11
  still
• 44:11
  meet
• 44:12
  everybody's
• 44:12
  individual
• 44:13
  needs.
• 44:14
  So
• 44:14
  it's
• 44:14
  not
• 44:14
  about
• 44:14
  equal
• 44:15
  treatment
• 44:15
  necessarily,
• 44:16
  it's
• 44:17
  equitable.
• 44:17
  Right.
• 44:18
  So
• 44:18
  everybody
• 44:18
  still
• 44:19
  needs
• 44:19
  to
• 44:19
  get
• 44:19
  what
• 44:20
  they
• 44:20
  need.
• 44:21
  So
• 44:21
  your
• 44:21
  family
• 44:22
  is
• 44:22
  a
• 44:22
  team.
• 44:23
  When
• 44:23
  a
• 44:23
  rule
• 44:23
  or
• 44:23
  routine
• 44:24
  or
• 44:24
  boundary
• 44:24
  needs
• 44:24
  adjusting,
• 44:25
  don't
• 44:25
  just
• 44:25
  think
• 44:26
  of
• 44:26
  how
• 44:26
  that's
• 44:26
  going
• 44:26
  to
• 44:26
  impact
• 44:27
  the
• 44:27
  chaos
• 44:28
  causer.
• 44:29
  Right.
• 44:29
  But
• 44:29
  how
• 44:29
  will
• 44:30
  the
• 44:30
  rest
• 44:30
  of
• 44:30
  the
• 44:30
  team
• 44:31
  be
• 44:31
  impacted?
• 44:32
  And
• 44:32
  you
• 44:32
  have
• 44:32
  to
• 44:32
  find
• 44:33
  the
• 44:33
  quote,
• 44:33
  unquote
• 44:34
  superpower
• 44:34
  in
• 44:34
  your
• 44:35
  child's
• 44:35
  struggles.
• 44:36
  So
• 44:36
  she
• 44:36
  talks
• 44:37
  a
• 44:37
  lot
• 44:37
  about
• 44:37
  helping
• 44:38
  you
• 44:38
  find
• 44:38
  the
• 44:38
  flip
• 44:39
  side
• 44:39
  of
• 44:39
  the
• 44:39
  Difficult
• 44:40
  behavior.
• 44:41
  So
• 44:41
  Michael
• 44:41
  Phelps,
• 44:42
  for
• 44:42
  example,
• 44:42
  great
• 44:43
  story.
• 44:43
  Yeah.
• 44:44
  I
• 44:44
  thought
• 44:44
  this
• 44:44
  was
• 44:44
  a
• 44:44
  good,
• 44:45
  very
• 44:45
  good
• 44:45
  story.
• 44:46
  Tell
• 44:46
  the
• 44:46
  story.
• 44:46
  It's
• 44:46
  a
• 44:47
  good
• 44:47
  story.
• 44:47
  So
• 44:47
  Michael
• 44:48
  Phelps
• 44:48
  used
• 44:48
  to
• 44:48
  get
• 44:48
  in
• 44:49
  trouble.
• 44:50
  He
• 44:50
  clearly
• 44:51
  had
• 44:51
  adhd.
• 44:52
  He
• 44:52
  could
• 44:52
  not
• 44:52
  sit
• 44:53
  there
• 44:53
  still.
• 44:54
  He
• 44:54
  was
• 44:54
  very
• 44:54
  obsessive
• 44:55
  and
• 44:55
  hyper
• 44:56
  focused,
• 44:56
  which
• 44:56
  ultimately
• 44:57
  led
• 44:57
  him
• 44:57
  to
• 44:58
  win
• 44:58
  so
• 44:58
  many
• 44:58
  gold
• 44:59
  medals
• 44:59
  in
• 44:59
  the
• 44:59
  Olympics.
• 45:00
  And
• 45:00
  his
• 45:00
  mother
• 45:01
  figured
• 45:01
  out
• 45:02
  that
• 45:02
  we
• 45:02
  should
• 45:02
  channel
• 45:03
  all
• 45:03
  that
• 45:04
  kind
• 45:04
  of
• 45:04
  energy,
• 45:05
  which
• 45:05
  is
• 45:05
  all
• 45:05
  ADHD
• 45:06
  behavior,
• 45:07
  into
• 45:08
  swimming
• 45:09
  and
• 45:09
  just
• 45:10
  got
• 45:10
  him
• 45:10
  in
• 45:10
  the
• 45:10
  pool
• 45:10
  all
• 45:11
  the
• 45:11
  time.
• 45:11
  Look
• 45:11
  at
• 45:11
  him
• 45:12
  and
• 45:12
  look.
• 45:12
  What?
• 45:12
  Look
• 45:12
  at
• 45:13
  him
• 45:13
  now.
• 45:13
  Right,
• 45:13
  right.
• 45:14
  So,
• 45:14
  yeah,
• 45:15
  so
• 45:15
  go
• 45:15
  Michael
• 45:16
  Phelps's
• 45:16
  mom.
• 45:16
  Right.
• 45:17
  But
• 45:17
  she's
• 45:17
  saying
• 45:18
  in
• 45:18
  every
• 45:18
  single
• 45:19
  child
• 45:19
  who's
• 45:20
  got
• 45:20
  these,
• 45:20
  whatever
• 45:21
  their
• 45:21
  issue
• 45:21
  is,
• 45:22
  look
• 45:23
  for
• 45:23
  how
• 45:23
  the
• 45:24
  flip
• 45:24
  side
• 45:24
  of
• 45:24
  their
• 45:25
  sort
• 45:25
  of
• 45:25
  difficult
• 45:26
  behavior.
• 45:27
  Is
• 45:27
  there
• 45:28
  a
• 45:28
  superpower
• 45:29
  there?
• 45:30
  You
• 45:30
  mix
• 45:30
  up
• 45:31
  that
• 45:31
  big
• 45:32
  struggle
• 45:33
  with
• 45:33
  something
• 45:33
  that
• 45:34
  makes
• 45:34
  them
• 45:34
  unique.
• 45:35
  Yes.
• 45:35
  And
• 45:36
  that
• 45:36
  is
• 45:36
  a
• 45:36
  possible
• 45:37
  superpower.
• 45:38
  Absolutely.
• 45:40
  So
• 45:42
  overall,
• 45:44
  there's
• 45:44
  more
• 45:44
  to
• 45:45
  this
• 45:45
  book.
• 45:46
  I
• 45:46
  felt
• 45:46
  like
• 45:46
  it
• 45:46
  was
• 45:47
  a
• 45:47
  bit
• 45:47
  redundant,
• 45:48
  the
• 45:48
  rest
• 45:48
  of
• 45:48
  it.
• 45:49
  Right.
• 45:49
  So
• 45:49
  it's
• 45:50
  a
• 45:50
  lot
• 45:50
  about,
• 45:50
  again,
• 45:50
  like,
• 45:51
  finding
• 45:51
  the
• 45:51
  struggle,
• 45:52
  slipping
• 45:52
  it
• 45:53
  on
• 45:53
  its
• 45:53
  head,
• 45:54
  which
• 45:54
  I
• 45:54
  am
• 45:54
  a
• 45:54
  proponent
• 45:55
  of,
• 45:55
  for
• 45:55
  sure.
• 45:58
  It's
• 45:58
  a
• 45:58
  lot.
• 45:59
  There
• 46:00
  were
• 46:00
  a
• 46:00
  lot
• 46:01
  of,
• 46:01
  like,
• 46:01
  let's
• 46:02
  get
• 46:02
  everybody
• 46:02
  on
• 46:03
  board,
• 46:03
  which,
• 46:03
  as
• 46:03
  you
• 46:03
  and
• 46:04
  I
• 46:04
  discussed,
• 46:04
  I
• 46:04
  just
• 46:04
  don't
• 46:05
  feel
• 46:05
  like
• 46:05
  that's
• 46:05
  always
• 46:06
  appropriate.
• 46:07
  Like,
• 46:07
  if
• 46:07
  one
• 46:07
  child
• 46:07
  is
• 46:08
  having
• 46:08
  a
• 46:08
  problem,
• 46:09
  it
• 46:10
  can't
• 46:10
  necessarily
• 46:11
  be
• 46:12
  everybody's
• 46:13
  problem,
• 46:13
  you
• 46:14
  know?
• 46:14
  Well,
• 46:15
  you
• 46:15
  know,
• 46:15
  I
• 46:16
  don't
• 46:16
  know.
• 46:16
  I
• 46:16
  never
• 46:17
  tried
• 46:17
  that,
• 46:18
  so
• 46:18
  I
• 46:18
  don't
• 46:19
  know
• 46:19
  how
• 46:19
  well
• 46:19
  that
• 46:19
  works.
• 46:20
  You
• 46:20
  know,
• 46:23
  maybe.
• 46:24
  I
• 46:24
  mean,
• 46:24
  it's
• 46:25
  possible
• 46:25
  getting
• 46:26
  everybody
• 46:26
  on
• 46:27
  board,
• 46:28
  as
• 46:28
  long
• 46:29
  as
• 46:29
  it's
• 46:30
  not
• 46:30
  always
• 46:30
  focused
• 46:31
  on
• 46:31
  the
• 46:31
  one
• 46:32
  kid
• 46:32
  who's
• 46:33
  the.
• 46:33
  Who's
• 46:33
  really
• 46:34
  struggling
• 46:34
  all
• 46:35
  the
• 46:35
  time.
• 46:35
  Because
• 46:35
  I
• 46:35
  think
• 46:36
  they
• 46:36
  would
• 46:36
  feel
• 46:36
  very,
• 46:38
  I
• 46:38
  don't
• 46:38
  know,
• 46:39
  targeted
• 46:39
  in
• 46:39
  such
• 46:40
  a
• 46:40
  negative
• 46:40
  way.
• 46:41
  So
• 46:41
  you
• 46:41
  somehow
• 46:42
  have
• 46:42
  to
• 46:43
  build
• 46:43
  in,
• 46:44
  you
• 46:44
  know,
• 46:45
  having
• 46:45
  family
• 46:45
  meetings
• 46:46
  to
• 46:46
  talk
• 46:46
  about
• 46:47
  lots
• 46:47
  of
• 46:47
  things.
• 46:48
  It's
• 46:48
  not
• 46:48
  always
• 46:49
  a
• 46:49
  puddle
• 46:49
  about
• 46:49
  a
• 46:50
  lot
• 46:50
  of
• 46:50
  things.
• 46:50
  Not
• 46:51
  always
• 46:51
  about
• 46:51
  that
• 46:52
  child.
• 46:52
  Could
• 46:52
  be
• 46:53
  about
• 46:53
  other
• 46:53
  problems
• 46:54
  that
• 46:54
  the
• 46:55
  kids
• 46:55
  are
• 46:55
  having
• 46:55
  in
• 46:56
  the
• 46:56
  house
• 46:56
  or
• 46:56
  that
• 46:57
  everybody
• 46:57
  wants
• 46:58
  to
• 46:58
  solve.
• 46:58
  I
• 46:59
  think
• 46:59
  you
• 46:59
  have
• 46:59
  to
• 47:00
  broaden
• 47:01
  your
• 47:01
  focus
• 47:01
  and
• 47:02
  just
• 47:02
  make
• 47:02
  that
• 47:02
  a
• 47:02
  way
• 47:03
  of
• 47:03
  life.
• 47:03
  We
• 47:03
  did
• 47:04
  not
• 47:04
  do
• 47:04
  that
• 47:04
  in
• 47:05
  our
• 47:05
  family.
• 47:06
  But,
• 47:07
  you
• 47:07
  know,
• 47:07
  but
• 47:08
  maybe
• 47:08
  it
• 47:08
  does
• 47:09
  work.
• 47:09
  I
• 47:09
  mean,
• 47:09
  I'm
• 47:10
  just
• 47:10
  saying,
• 47:10
  you
• 47:10
  know,
• 47:11
  not
• 47:11
  for
• 47:11
  us
• 47:11
  to
• 47:12
  say
• 47:12
  it's
• 47:13
  not
• 47:13
  something
• 47:13
  we
• 47:14
  actually
• 47:14
  did.
• 47:15
  But,
• 47:17
  you
• 47:17
  know,
• 47:17
  as
• 47:18
  I
• 47:18
  said
• 47:18
  before,
• 47:19
  when
• 47:19
  you
• 47:19
  are
• 47:19
  in
• 47:20
  the
• 47:20
  situation
• 47:20
  of
• 47:21
  having
• 47:21
  a
• 47:21
  child
• 47:21
  who's
• 47:22
  extremely
• 47:23
  challenging
• 47:24
  and
• 47:25
  you
• 47:25
  just
• 47:25
  don't
• 47:25
  know
• 47:26
  what
• 47:26
  to
• 47:26
  do,
• 47:26
  I
• 47:27
  think
• 47:29
  reading
• 47:29
  something
• 47:30
  like
• 47:30
  this,
• 47:30
  this
• 47:30
  book
• 47:31
  and
• 47:31
  the
• 47:31
  thing
• 47:32
  I
• 47:32
  realize,
• 47:32
  I
• 47:33
  haven't
• 47:33
  read
• 47:33
  a
• 47:33
  lot
• 47:33
  of
• 47:34
  books
• 47:34
  like
• 47:34
  this,
• 47:35
  so
• 47:35
  it's
• 47:35
  hard
• 47:35
  for
• 47:36
  me
• 47:36
  to
• 47:36
  know
• 47:36
  how
• 47:36
  does
• 47:36
  this
• 47:37
  compare
• 47:37
  with
• 47:38
  maybe
• 47:38
  other
• 47:39
  plans
• 47:40
  and
• 47:40
  programs
• 47:41
  that
• 47:41
  other
• 47:42
  authors
• 47:43
  and
• 47:43
  psychologists
• 47:44
  or
• 47:44
  whatever.
• 47:45
  This
• 47:45
  was
• 47:45
  a
• 47:45
  mom
• 47:46
  who
• 47:47
  found
• 47:47
  that
• 47:47
  this
• 47:48
  approach
• 47:48
  worked
• 47:49
  for
• 47:49
  her
• 47:49
  kids.
• 47:50
  And
• 47:50
  I
• 47:50
  did
• 47:51
  go
• 47:51
  on
• 47:53
  Amazon
• 47:53
  and
• 47:53
  I
• 47:54
  looked
• 47:54
  at
• 47:54
  the
• 47:54
  reviews
• 47:54
  and
• 47:55
  a
• 47:55
  number
• 47:55
  of
• 47:55
  people
• 47:56
  said,
• 47:56
  we
• 47:56
  have
• 47:56
  tried
• 47:57
  this
• 47:57
  program.
• 47:58
  It
• 47:58
  is
• 47:58
  working
• 47:59
  for
• 47:59
  my
• 47:59
  child.
• 48:00
  So
• 48:00
  if
• 48:01
  that's
• 48:01
  the
• 48:01
  case
• 48:02
  and
• 48:02
  you
• 48:02
  know,
• 48:02
  you
• 48:02
  are
• 48:03
  in
• 48:03
  that
• 48:03
  situation,
• 48:04
  go
• 48:04
  for
• 48:05
  it.
• 48:05
  I
• 48:05
  try
• 48:05
  it.
• 48:06
  I
• 48:06
  mean,
• 48:06
  I
• 48:06
  know
• 48:06
  you
• 48:07
  would
• 48:07
  recommend.
• 48:07
  Well,
• 48:08
  you
• 48:08
  know,
• 48:08
  when,
• 48:09
  when
• 48:09
  I
• 48:09
  was
• 48:09
  struggling
• 48:10
  with
• 48:10
  the
• 48:11
  issues
• 48:11
  that
• 48:12
  your
• 48:12
  brother
• 48:13
  was
• 48:13
  having,
• 48:13
  they
• 48:14
  were
• 48:14
  very
• 48:14
  hard.
• 48:15
  I
• 48:15
  didn't
• 48:15
  know
• 48:16
  what
• 48:16
  to
• 48:16
  do.
• 48:16
  I
• 48:16
  would
• 48:16
  have
• 48:17
  tried
• 48:17
  anything.
• 48:18
  I.
• 48:18
  I
• 48:19
  don't
• 48:19
  know.
• 48:19
  I
• 48:19
  couldn't
• 48:19
  have
• 48:20
  gotten
• 48:20
  the
• 48:20
  family
• 48:20
  to
• 48:20
  huddle,
• 48:21
  probably,
• 48:22
  but
• 48:22
  I
• 48:22
  would
• 48:22
  have.
• 48:24
  We're
• 48:24
  not
• 48:24
  a
• 48:24
  huddling
• 48:25
  family.
• 48:25
  Right.
• 48:26
  But.
• 48:26
  No,
• 48:27
  but
• 48:27
  anyway.
• 48:27
  But
• 48:27
  I
• 48:27
  would
• 48:28
  have
• 48:28
  tried
• 48:28
  some
• 48:29
  of
• 48:29
  these,
• 48:29
  these
• 48:29
  tools,
• 48:30
  I
• 48:30
  guess.
• 48:30
  I
• 48:31
  really,
• 48:31
  I
• 48:31
  would
• 48:31
  have.
• 48:32
  Yeah.
• 48:32
  Because
• 48:33
  you're,
• 48:33
  you
• 48:33
  will
• 48:33
  try
• 48:34
  anything.
• 48:35
  Yeah.
• 48:35
  I
• 48:35
  mean,
• 48:35
  I
• 48:36
  also
• 48:36
  think
• 48:36
  you
• 48:37
  need
• 48:38
  probably
• 48:38
  therapy
• 48:39
  in
• 48:39
  so
• 48:39
  many
• 48:39
  of
• 48:40
  these
• 48:40
  situations.
• 48:40
  Yeah,
• 48:41
  I
• 48:41
  agree.
• 48:41
  Go
• 48:41
  to
• 48:42
  a
• 48:42
  professional.
• 48:42
  You
• 48:43
  don't
• 48:43
  need
• 48:43
  to
• 48:43
  shoulder
• 48:44
  it
• 48:44
  all
• 48:44
  yourself.
• 48:45
  Right.
• 48:45
  Again,
• 48:45
  there
• 48:45
  are
• 48:46
  great
• 48:46
  resources.
• 48:46
  Like
• 48:47
  in
• 48:47
  New
• 48:47
  York
• 48:47
  City,
• 48:47
  there's
• 48:48
  nip,
• 48:49
  but
• 48:49
  there's
• 48:49
  versions
• 48:50
  of
• 48:50
  nip,
• 48:50
  National
• 48:51
  Institute
• 48:51
  for
• 48:51
  the
• 48:51
  Psychotherapies
• 48:53
  in
• 48:53
  every
• 48:53
  city,
• 48:53
  I
• 48:54
  imagine,
• 48:54
  or
• 48:54
  in
• 48:55
  many
• 48:55
  cities
• 48:56
  because
• 48:56
  there
• 48:56
  are
• 48:56
  therapists
• 48:57
  everywhere.
• 48:57
  Yeah.
• 48:57
  So
• 48:58
  probably
• 48:58
  the
• 48:58
  parent
• 48:59
  needs
• 48:59
  a
• 48:59
  therapist
• 48:59
  to
• 49:00
  help
• 49:00
  them
• 49:00
  get
• 49:01
  through
• 49:01
  it.
• 49:01
  The
• 49:02
  child
• 49:02
  needs
• 49:02
  a
• 49:02
  therapist.
• 49:03
  I
• 49:03
  would
• 49:03
  recommend
• 49:04
  that
• 49:05
  the
• 49:05
  author
• 49:05
  does
• 49:06
  say
• 49:06
  that
• 49:06
  her
• 49:07
  program
• 49:07
  is
• 49:07
  not
• 49:08
  a
• 49:08
  one
• 49:08
  stop
• 49:09
  shop
• 49:09
  plan
• 49:10
  that
• 49:10
  is
• 49:10
  the
• 49:10
  same
• 49:11
  for
• 49:11
  every
• 49:11
  family.
• 49:12
  That
• 49:12
  it's
• 49:12
  a,
• 49:12
  it's
• 49:13
  a
• 49:13
  plan
• 49:13
  you
• 49:13
  can
• 49:14
  take
• 49:14
  and
• 49:14
  try
• 49:14
  to
• 49:14
  make
• 49:15
  it
• 49:15
  work
• 49:15
  for
• 49:15
  your
• 49:16
  own
• 49:16
  family.
• 49:16
  Yeah.
• 49:17
  So
• 49:17
  you
• 49:17
  don't
• 49:17
  have
• 49:17
  to
• 49:18
  huddle
• 49:18
  if
• 49:18
  you
• 49:18
  don't
• 49:18
  want
• 49:19
  to
• 49:19
  huddle.
• 49:19
  I
• 49:19
  don't
• 49:19
  want
• 49:19
  to
• 49:20
  huddle.
• 49:20
  Okay,
• 49:20
  but.
• 49:21
  But
• 49:21
  you
• 49:21
  could
• 49:21
  do
• 49:22
  some
• 49:22
  of
• 49:22
  the
• 49:22
  other
• 49:22
  things
• 49:22
  because
• 49:23
  there
• 49:23
  were
• 49:23
  some,
• 49:23
  like
• 49:24
  the
• 49:24
  magic
• 49:24
  button
• 49:25
  that
• 49:25
  was
• 49:25
  good,
• 49:26
  you
• 49:26
  know,
• 49:26
  five
• 49:27
  to
• 49:27
  one,
• 49:28
  that
• 49:28
  was
• 49:28
  good.
• 49:29
  And
• 49:30
  gave
• 49:30
  me
• 49:30
  the
• 49:30
  counting
• 49:31
  vibes,
• 49:31
  the
• 49:31
  1,
• 49:31
  2,
• 49:32
  3
• 49:32
  vibes.
• 49:32
  But
• 49:33
  so
• 49:33
  again,
• 49:34
  just
• 49:34
  remember
• 49:35
  opposite.
• 49:36
  Yeah.
• 49:37
  Be
• 49:37
  nice
• 49:38
  to
• 49:38
  your
• 49:38
  child.
• 49:38
  Do
• 49:39
  positive
• 49:39
  things
• 49:40
  a
• 49:40
  lot
• 49:40
  more
• 49:41
  than
• 49:41
  you
• 49:41
  say
• 49:41
  negative
• 49:42
  things.
• 49:42
  Yeah.
• 49:43
  That's
• 49:43
  essentially
• 49:44
  what
• 49:44
  she's
• 49:44
  saying.
• 49:45
  And
• 49:45
  she
• 49:45
  says,
• 49:45
  you
• 49:45
  know
• 49:46
  what,
• 49:46
  you're
• 49:46
  going
• 49:46
  to
• 49:46
  put
• 49:47
  a
• 49:47
  program
• 49:47
  like
• 49:47
  this
• 49:47
  into
• 49:48
  effect
• 49:49
  and
• 49:49
  it's
• 49:49
  not
• 49:50
  always
• 49:50
  going
• 49:50
  to
• 49:50
  work.
• 49:50
  And
• 49:51
  if
• 49:51
  it
• 49:51
  doesn't
• 49:51
  work,
• 49:51
  you
• 49:52
  have
• 49:52
  to
• 49:52
  go
• 49:52
  back
• 49:52
  and
• 49:52
  regroup,
• 49:53
  retool.
• 49:54
  You
• 49:54
  do.
• 49:54
  And
• 49:55
  then
• 49:55
  she
• 49:56
  says
• 49:56
  she
• 49:56
  ends
• 49:56
  on
• 49:57
  this
• 49:57
  high
• 49:57
  note.
• 49:58
  Parenting
• 49:58
  is
• 49:59
  a
• 49:59
  lifelong
• 49:59
  journey
• 50:00
  with
• 50:00
  ups
• 50:00
  and
• 50:00
  downs,
• 50:01
  twists
• 50:01
  and
• 50:01
  turns.
• 50:03
  It's
• 50:03
  especially
• 50:04
  hard
• 50:04
  when
• 50:04
  you
• 50:04
  have
• 50:05
  a
• 50:05
  challenging
• 50:05
  child.
• 50:06
  But,
• 50:06
  you
• 50:07
  know,
• 50:07
  it's
• 50:07
  worth
• 50:07
  it
• 50:07
  to
• 50:08
  hang
• 50:08
  in
• 50:09
  and
• 50:09
  just
• 50:09
  keep
• 50:09
  trying
• 50:10
  to
• 50:10
  be
• 50:10
  there
• 50:10
  for
• 50:11
  that
• 50:11
  child.
• 50:11
  And
• 50:12
  what
• 50:12
  else
• 50:12
  are
• 50:12
  you
• 50:12
  gonna
• 50:13
  do?
• 50:13
  We
• 50:13
  don't
• 50:14
  live
• 50:14
  in
• 50:14
  a
• 50:14
  world
• 50:14
  where
• 50:14
  you
• 50:15
  can
• 50:15
  just
• 50:15
  send
• 50:15
  them
• 50:15
  back.
• 50:16
  No,
• 50:16
  that's
• 50:17
  true.
• 50:17
  You
• 50:17
  gotta
• 50:17
  hang
• 50:17
  in
• 50:18
  and
• 50:18
  figure
• 50:18
  it
• 50:18
  out.
• 50:19
  As
• 50:19
  a
• 50:19
  parent,
• 50:20
  you
• 50:20
  do.
• 50:20
  And
• 50:21
  I
• 50:21
  will
• 50:21
  say
• 50:22
  this.
• 50:22
  You
• 50:22
  know,
• 50:22
  I
• 50:23
  personally
• 50:23
  went
• 50:24
  through
• 50:24
  some
• 50:24
  extremely
• 50:25
  hard
• 50:25
  times
• 50:25
  with,
• 50:27
  you
• 50:27
  know,
• 50:27
  more
• 50:28
  so
• 50:28
  with
• 50:28
  my
• 50:28
  son.
• 50:29
  And
• 50:30
  you
• 50:30
  know
• 50:30
  what?
• 50:30
  We
• 50:30
  got
• 50:31
  past
• 50:31
  it.
• 50:31
  We
• 50:32
  did.
• 50:32
  And
• 50:32
  he's
• 50:33
  fabulous.
• 50:33
  We
• 50:34
  love.
• 50:34
  He
• 50:34
  is
• 50:35
  just
• 50:35
  great.
• 50:35
  And
• 50:36
  so,
• 50:37
  you
• 50:37
  know,
• 50:37
  a
• 50:37
  lot
• 50:37
  of
• 50:38
  people
• 50:38
  go
• 50:38
  through
• 50:38
  difficult,
• 50:39
  challenging
• 50:40
  moments
• 50:40
  in
• 50:41
  their
• 50:41
  life,
• 50:41
  but
• 50:41
  they
• 50:42
  get
• 50:42
  past
• 50:42
  it.
• 50:43
  Be
• 50:43
  there
• 50:43
  with
• 50:44
  love
• 50:44
  and
• 50:44
  do
• 50:45
  everything
• 50:45
  you
• 50:45
  can
• 50:46
  do
• 50:46
  to
• 50:46
  help
• 50:46
  them.
• 50:47
  Yes.
• 50:48
  Teen.
• 50:48
  Well,
• 50:49
  that's.
• 50:49
  I
• 50:49
  agree.
• 50:50
  That's
• 50:50
  what
• 50:50
  we
• 50:50
  did.
• 50:50
  We
• 50:51
  did
• 50:51
  the
• 50:51
  best
• 50:51
  we
• 50:51
  could.
• 50:52
  And,
• 50:53
  you
• 50:53
  know,
• 50:53
  I
• 50:53
  would
• 50:53
  have
• 50:53
  tried
• 50:54
  some
• 50:54
  of
• 50:54
  her
• 50:54
  tools.
• 50:55
  Well,
• 50:55
  on
• 50:56
  that
• 50:56
  note,
• 50:56
  thank
• 50:57
  you
• 50:57
  so
• 50:57
  much
• 50:57
  for
• 50:57
  joining
• 50:58
  us
• 50:58
  for
• 50:58
  this
• 50:58
  episode
• 50:58
  of
• 50:59
  Other
• 50:59
  People's
• 50:59
  Parenting.
• 51:00
  Please
• 51:00
  join
• 51:01
  us
• 51:01
  again
• 51:01
  next
• 51:02
  week.