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Surviving The Holiday Schedule · Equipped for Impact

0:00
Nate: Let me ask you something.
0:01
Nate: When was the last time your family sat still long enough in December to actually worship without rushing somewhere right after?
0:10
Nate: If you're listening to this while driving between your third event of the day and the next one, this episode is for you.
0:17
Luis: Because the calendar fills fast, and if we're not careful, Christmas becomes loud, it becomes frantic, and it can even become exhausting.
0:24
Luis: Instead of peaceful, instead of joyful, instead of Christ-centered, today we're talking about how to survive the schedule without losing the sanctity of the season.
0:36
Nate: Welcome to Equipped for Impact, the podcast designed to assist Christian parents, leaders, and educators to raise up the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ.
0:47
Nate: We're your hosts.
0:48
Nate: I'm Nate.
0:49
Nate: And I'm Lewis.
0:50
Nate: And we're glad you're here with us today.
0:53
Nate: Today's episode is called Surviving the Schedule.
0:58
Nate: And if that opening resonated with you, it it probably did, right?
1:02
Nate: Because we're in the middle of December.
1:04
Nate: It is, you know, holiday season, Christmas stuff going on.
1:08
Nate: But what we want to do is we want to protect the sanctity of this holiday season from the chaos that can come in.
1:16
Nate: So we're talking about intentionality and rest and simplifying your calendar, how to say no with grace, and how to actually protect some time of Christ-centered worship in the middle of a season that constantly pulls our attention.
1:31
Nate: Lewis, this is really, you know, it's real life for our families right now.
1:36
Nate: So, you know, d take us through like why is this such a big deal to kind of focus on this right now in this season?
1:43
Luis: Yeah, it it it really is.
1:45
Luis: And and what makes this so tricky is that most of what fills our calendars in December, um, it's it's good stuff, right?
1:53
Luis: It's it's not simple.
1:54
Luis: It's not like people are out doing things they shouldn't be doing.
1:57
Luis: They're they're they're doing things to together, they're doing things that are good.
2:02
Luis: Um, they do concerts, they do programs, family gatherings, school events, church events, um, but too many good things layered on top of each other are are gonna crush a family.
2:17
Nate: Yeah, and and kids can feel it, especially, right?
2:20
Nate: Because they're going around having fun, you know, because it's all the novelty of the lights and the excitement and the programs and all of that, but then the parents kind of feel this stress, and so it, you know, it just kind of weighs kids down.
2:32
Nate: Um and they they really feel it.
2:35
Luis: Yeah, yeah, they they do, and and you see it in their emotions, right?
2:38
Luis: You see it in their sleep.
2:40
Luis: Um do your girls have like a set bedtime?
2:43
Luis: Do you guys enforce a set bedtime at your home?
2:45
Luis: And so, and so, and so we have too, especially with with our youngest daughter, um, and and so you see it like in their bedtime, right?
2:54
Luis: It throws off the routine, and then it shows up in their behavior, they act out, uh, they they become dysregulated because their whole rhythm it it changes from from day to day.
3:06
Luis: And parents, if if we're honest, then we start to feel it too.
3:10
Luis: And one of the traps that we fall into is thinking that that because we're busy, we are being faithful.
3:17
Luis: And we've talked about this before, right?
3:19
Luis: Busyness is not the same thing as fruitfulness.
3:23
Luis: Um, got God is not honored by by frantic hearts, he is honored by the worship that flows from from rest and obedience.
3:32
Nate: Yeah, there is a quote I read recently.
3:36
Nate: Um I'm trying to remember where exactly it was from.
3:38
Nate: I think it's from Teaching the Next Generation.
3:40
Nate: Um, I believe it's Jerry, maybe Lineheart is the last name.
3:43
Nate: But you know, the whole idea is just that, you know, sometimes we think that we're being faithful and we're being, you know, uh productive, like you just said.
3:52
Nate: And um by doing that, it's like we're filling our calendars with more programs or more activity, but activity does not actually mean real connection.
4:02
Nate: Even to other other believers.
4:04
Nate: Um and so distraction is really what it comes down to, is because we're frantic and they're there's you know one thing after another, that distraction actually becomes one of Satan's favorite tools uh in the month of December is just to distract us away from what really matters.
4:20
Luis: Yeah, and when you think about it, right, uh Satan doesn't need to destroy families at Christmas, he just needs to keep them so busy that they don't even notice what they're missing, and then they miss the whole reason for Christmas.
4:37
Nate: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4:38
Nate: It reminds me of um C.
4:39
Nate: S.
4:40
Nate: Lewis, not to mention two books right in a wet row, but C.S.
4:42
Nate: Lewis in his uh screw tape letters, um, he he has one of the chapters or one of the sections talking about uh the kingdom of noise, right?
4:51
Nate: And it's uh the the you know, it's a fictional account, but it's this, you know, demon who's just trying to distract this believer with all of this noise and distraction.
5:00
Nate: Just it's like if we can't, you know, destroy the family, if we can't get you to do wrong, maybe we can just get you so distracted by generally good things that you're not really making the most of the time that you have.
5:14
Luis: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
5:15
Luis: No, that's that's that's really good.
5:17
Luis: Uh and it actually just reminds me of of even, I mean, just uh like a personal example that just happened last night.
5:25
Luis: Um, you know, um Nate, I've shared with you and I've shared it here uh over the past several weeks that our family traditionally we try to do one Christmas activity each day.
5:34
Luis: Uh it's sometimes big, sometimes small.
5:37
Luis: Sometimes it's as simple as we go to Walmart and we pick out candy canes for the Christmas tree.
5:43
Luis: You know, other times we go and we pick out wrapping paper.
5:46
Luis: Some sometimes we uh you know we might go get like the Christmas dozen at Krispy Kreme, which by the way, don't do that.
5:52
Luis: That's super expensive.
5:54
Luis: Like uh we went the other day.
5:55
Luis: Yeah, it it was it was like twenty-one dollars for a good donuts from Krispy Kreme, right?
6:01
Nate: Is that like the the filled like Santa Belly?
6:03
Nate: Yeah, it's like it's essentially the normal cream filled, but they made it red icing on top instead of the normal chocolate.
6:11
Luis: Yeah, and Snoopy, there's like a Snoopy one, and there's like a Grinch one.
6:15
Luis: I mean, it is um you know, I guess.
6:16
Luis: You're paying for the art.
6:17
Luis: You're paying for the R.
6:18
Luis: Yeah.
6:19
Luis: I guess if you've got twenty dollars extra in your budget this month, you know, it it's pretty cool.
6:22
Luis: Right, but but we but we do something like that.
6:25
Luis: And and and if we're not careful, we have something like what happened last night where my oldest daughter was busy, you know, it's it's exam time at school, you know, final test, things like that.
6:38
Luis: All of these things are happening, and so uh the girls are tired, uh nobody had uh we hadn't had dinner yet.
6:46
Luis: Uh we go to Walmart because we're trying to buy wrapping paper.
6:50
Luis: Like our tradition is each each of us buys a wrapping paper uh for our gifts, and for whatever reason, Walmart didn't have a very good selection, or or or I I take that back.
7:01
Luis: Well, I no, I I guess they didn't have a good selection, but then on top of that, what they did have was like really expensive.
7:06
Luis: Like we don't buy the expensive wrapping paper, like we looked at the bigger.
7:09
Luis: Yeah, we looked at like that 97 cent wrapping paper, and there were very few selections, and so my oldest daughter's like, Come on, we gotta go home.
7:18
Luis: My youngest daughter's like, I want a Christmas shirt.
7:20
Luis: You know, Brandy and I are just kind of fed up because it's just it's it's you know, it's after work.
7:25
Luis: And so we we were physically present, um, but but like our minds were just completely scattered, and I was just like, you know what, let's just go home.
7:34
Luis: Like, let's just forget about the wrapping paper tonight.
7:37
Luis: We're not gonna, you know, we're not gonna get it, you know.
7:39
Luis: And so we came home.
7:40
Luis: And and if we're not careful, right, you get so busy doing these things that if you don't protect your s your schedule, you're gonna lose the sanctity of the season.
7:51
Luis: And this has really stayed with me, like as I've kind of reflected back, like, you know, what led up to this.
7:56
Luis: Um and it just, you know, trying, if you're not careful, you try to do too much.
8:02
Nate: Yeah, that's right.
8:02
Nate: And so you end up like walking into a time, you know, maybe it's at church, a special candlelight service or Christmas program or something like that, and you're you're physically present, but mentally and spiritually, you're just somewhere else.
8:16
Nate: Um so you've gotta you've gotta protect that time.
8:19
Nate: So so I think it really we need to look at like activity is not the issue, it's the symptom, right?
8:26
Nate: So we gotta look at what the root issue of this actually is, right?
8:30
Nate: Most families don't lose Christ at Christmas time because they stop, you know, believing or stop being Christians or you know, losing their stuff.
8:37
Nate: Actually, you can't do that anyway.
8:38
Nate: But um, you know, they lose sight of what's most important because the calendar just kind of crowds that out, right?
8:45
Nate: We say yes because we don't want to disappoint people.
8:49
Nate: Um, you know, and so they're they are taking, you know, their feelings are taking the priority in our life.
8:55
Nate: So we're just gonna say yes so we don't feel guilty or say yes to our kids because you know they don't want to miss out.
9:02
Nate: And so we're prioritizing them over everything else or or whatever.
9:05
Nate: It just feels important.
9:06
Nate: And so, you know, sooner or later we have to ask the the hard question, right?
9:10
Nate: Um, does my schedule actually reflect what I say matters most to me?
9:16
Luis: Yeah, and if Christ-centered worship matters, then it has to be protected on purpose um because if it's not going to survive by accident in December, because there are so many things trying to crowd it out.
9:30
Luis: And you know, we could get into the commercialization of Christmas and you know, even how Christmas has been secularized, right?
9:37
Luis: And and so, you know, uh to to borrow a cliche, right?
9:42
Luis: You know, you have to be intentional about keeping Christ in Christmas because if not, you'll be consumed by the consumerism, by the secularism of of Christmas.
9:54
Luis: And you know, that's actually a call back to I I guess the first episode of this series, right?
9:59
Luis: Where we talk about like the gift of enough and how you counter consumerism uh with with an eternal worldview in in Christmas.
10:06
Luis: And so, yeah, we have to be intentional about that.
10:10
Nate: Yeah, that's right.
10:11
Nate: Uh so let's let's get practical, right?
10:13
Nate: We we kind of all know we're feeling it.
10:14
Nate: It's the same or very similar to the feeling many families feel around the the time of you know May, like the end of the school year.
10:21
Nate: And um let's let's talk about some practical strategies.
10:25
Nate: Like, what would you say is something you know, real practical families can do right now, listening to this to set up the rest of the month?
10:32
Luis: Well, let's let's start with a really simple strategy, and that is just simplifying your schedule.
10:39
Luis: Uh, parents, uh, you you need to decide what is non-negotiable before activity completely takes over.
10:50
Luis: And you know, that's that's probably gonna include worship gatherings, right?
10:54
Luis: Like you're you're gonna be intentional and you're gonna simplify your schedule and say, okay, you know, being in church is a non-negotiable.
11:01
Luis: Um, spending time in the word at home, um, finding times to have unhurried family time and and real rest.
11:09
Luis: And once, once you decide you're non-negotiables, then everything else in December, it it becomes optional.
11:17
Nate: Yep, yep.
11:18
Nate: And so it's helpful, right?
11:19
Nate: You can put those boundaries in.
11:21
Nate: It's like this is the minimum, we're gonna do this.
11:24
Nate: Anything else, like if we say no, it's okay.
11:27
Nate: We can say no without you know feeling guilty.
11:30
Nate: Um and if we say yes, it's because it's intentionally enhancing that that core that we've already decided on, right?
11:37
Nate: You've got those helpful boundaries and and just putting a cap, right?
11:40
Nate: Um, even a quota, you can be like, no, we're only doing two or three, you know, whatever the number is for you things this weekend.
11:48
Nate: Um it was, you know, recently um we were looking at it and there was something, you know, one person had requested that my family, you know, be at a certain church event on a Sunday morning um that would have taken us away from our normal church.
12:01
Nate: And then there was like an afternoon parade and then an evening program, and it was like that's three things all in a Sunday.
12:07
Nate: And we're like, yep, nope, we're doing one, we're picking one, and that's it.
12:10
Nate: Um you just gotta you gotta cap it uh with with where what what's most important for your family.
12:16
Luis: Yep, yep.
12:16
Luis: And and that can be hard, right?
12:18
Luis: And so, and so that's why you have to decide how do you simplify by deciding what is non-negotiable for for your family.
12:26
Nate: Yeah, that's really good.
12:27
Nate: So, number two kind of flows out of that is because once you've decided on those non-negotiables, you need to say no with grace, right?
12:34
Nate: Learning to say no.
12:36
Nate: Don't be mean about it.
12:37
Nate: Um, you know, uh so a godly no, a respectful no is responsible, right?
12:44
Nate: It's not um it's it's not rude, it's not, you know, anything like that.
12:50
Nate: And honestly, one thing, we're always afraid of people thinking that we're being rude or we're gonna, you know, thinking that we don't care about them or things like that.
12:58
Nate: But here's the thing that the secret is we all feel this way.
13:01
Nate: So everybody understands.
13:03
Nate: If you're gonna say no, like people will understand.
13:06
Nate: You're like, we've just got too much going on, we can't do it right now.
13:09
Nate: Um, and and people will get it if you're just respectful and upfront, and people just they they like the clarity that you know, hey, no, I'm not going.
13:19
Nate: I'm not gonna stretch myself too thin.
13:21
Luis: Yeah.
13:21
Luis: And you know, let me just give you some examples of what you can say, right?
13:25
Luis: You can say just the phrases like, We love what you're doing.
13:29
Luis: Uh, that sounds like a lot of fun, but this year we're keeping December simple.
13:34
Luis: Um or you know, you can even say, Hey, thank you for inviting us, right?
13:37
Luis: So Nate, you mentioned that somebody had invited you to uh something going on at a church that would have taken you away from from your home church.
13:44
Luis: Um and you had other stuff going on that day, right?
13:47
Luis: You know, and so it can just be a simple, hey, thank you for inviting us, but but we won't be able to make it, but we're really grateful that you thought of us.
13:56
Luis: Um, or or just being honest, right?
13:58
Luis: Our family is intentionally slowing down this season because we want to keep Jesus at the center.
14:05
Luis: Uh and and every one of these knows teachers, your kids, uh, because they're watching you, that that you're prioritizing worship, that you're prioritizing rest, and that you're keeping the spiritual rhythm in your family, and that they matter more than the social pressure of trying to do everything that everybody else is doing at Christmas time.
14:30
Nate: Yeah, yeah, and I think that's really important, which which really leads us into our third point, right?
14:34
Nate: You you mentioned the idea of teaching your kids about rest, right?
14:38
Nate: And so building in intentional downtime, right?
14:42
Nate: Like schedule your rest.
14:45
Nate: Um I think that that's gonna be a big one because if rest isn't scheduled, you know, it's not gonna happen, especially in a month like December.
14:52
Nate: And that's that's a true thing you can take throughout your entire year.
14:55
Nate: Like you block off time to just be.
14:58
Nate: Um, you know, we've talked about Sabbath before, but it doesn't have to be that.
15:03
Nate: It can just be, you know what?
15:04
Nate: Tuesday evenings, we're not doing anything, or you know, something like that.
15:09
Nate: Um, you know, just scheduling it in, and you know this is protected time with our family.
15:15
Luis: Yeah, because if you don't schedule it, it's not going to happen in the world.
15:20
Luis: That's exactly right, right?
15:22
Luis: And so um that's that's that's really good.
15:24
Luis: And silence might be the most countercultural Christmas discipline there is, right?
15:30
Luis: Uh and and we sing a song, right?
15:32
Luis: Silent night.
15:33
Luis: Uh, what's your favorite Christmas song?
15:35
Nate: Ooh, favorite Christmas song.
15:37
Nate: That's a hard one.
15:39
Nate: Um, I really like it's weird, but I really like if you're talking sacred Christmas songs, O come o come manual, which is it's like written in a minor key and it feels creepy.
15:48
Nate: Like when my kids were really young, we'd play it on on you know, in the house and it would like scare them because it's got this like ominous tone to them.
15:56
Nate: Yeah.
15:56
Nate: But when you actually listen to like it's very rich theologically.
16:01
Nate: Um, and so I really like that song.
16:03
Luis: Huh, that's pretty cool.
16:04
Luis: Mine is uh the song Holy Night, uh Oh Holy Night.
16:10
Luis: Um and I I I like anybody that does it, but like my favorite part is that it's kind of when it gets to that point where it's like uh fall on your knees, oh hear the angels' voices.
16:21
Nate: Yep, yep, yep.
16:22
Luis: Uh Lauren Daigle does a really good version of Oh Holy Night because um I don't know, just her her voice sounds really, really good.
16:30
Luis: Nate, um she's a power singer there.
16:33
Luis: She is, she is.
16:34
Luis: Maybe you should do it.
16:36
Nate: Oh holy night?
16:37
Nate: No.
16:38
Nate: Definitely not.
16:39
Nate: I'm not.
16:39
Nate: It's a it's more of a tenor.
16:41
Nate: I don't sing tenor.
16:42
Nate: Um and if our listeners know the difference between tenor and bass, they get bonus points for that.
16:46
Nate: But um I don't know what it is.
16:47
Nate: I'm more of a I'm more of a I'm more of a baritone.
16:50
Nate: It's not a baritone song.
16:52
Luis: I bet our listeners are glad that we are not gonna sing for them today.
16:56
Nate: This is a conversation podcast, not a uh a musical podcast.
16:59
Nate: Oh, all right.
17:00
Nate: Back back to to your regular scheduled programming.
17:03
Nate: Um let's talk about some some redeeming things you can still choose to do, kind of in that margin, right?
17:10
Nate: You create that margin, you say no to some things, you simplify, but even in the midst of things, right, not every task is avoidable.
17:17
Nate: Um so how can we, Lewis, like build in some redeeming, you know, elements to you know what's going on in our Christmas rhythms.
17:26
Luis: Yeah, and this is just about finding ways to to incorporate it into what you're doing, right?
17:31
Luis: So you're already wrapping gifts, and so as you wrap gifts as a family, take some time to pray for the person that is receiving that gift.
17:40
Luis: Or when you cook, uh, talk about generosity and hospitality.
17:45
Luis: Uh when you're driving to events, right?
17:47
Luis: So listen to Christmas music, and and I don't mean like you know, the Christmas music that's kind of like pop culture Christmas music.
17:55
Nate: Santa Baby.
17:56
Luis: Yeah, yeah, maybe not Santa Baby, but uh you may want to listen like um uh Ocoma come Emanuel, right?
18:03
Luis: Like that's a really good one.
18:05
Luis: Um and so uh listen to worship music that is Christmas music, or maybe just read scripture, right?
18:12
Luis: And and when you serve during the holiday season, uh remind your kids that this is why Jesus came.
18:19
Luis: And and what you're doing there is you're helping your children uh train their eyes to see Christ in these ordinary moments, and and that truly changes everything and it changes how they view Christmas.
18:32
Nate: Yeah, that's that's really good.
18:33
Nate: And even with that, like there's some albums, um, you know, speaking of listening to worship that that really are great for that.
18:42
Nate: Um like if you can get the whole album on your playlist, or you know, if you're old school, you buy the CD or whatever.
18:48
Nate: Like there's one, um Andrew Peterson has one called Behold the Lamb, and it actually walks from creation all the way through to, you know, the the traditional Christmas, like you know, shepherds come and and all of that.
19:02
Nate: And it it walks through, I mean, it talks about you know Old Testament and Moses and the Passover and and different things.
19:10
Nate: Each song kind of builds in order to that that idea of the the first coming.
19:16
Nate: And so that's a really great one if you need some new music to listen to.
19:19
Nate: I'm not normally a music guy, but that's a that's a one that I discovered this year that I think is a great one for that.
19:26
Nate: Um very cool.
19:27
Nate: So so what is it that as as parents, you know, and families kind of work in this whole idea of like what what changes in their lives?
19:36
Nate: Like when um you know, when they do that, they put some of these things in place, like what could the parents expect to see in their families?
19:44
Luis: Well, number one, your home is going to become calmer, right?
19:48
Luis: Like um Christmas should be a time of peace, of joy, of calmness, and and if you get too busy, um you lose that calmness.
19:57
Luis: And so your kid, you your home.
19:59
Luis: It's gonna become calmer, but it's gonna lead into the next part, which is gonna help your kids regulate better, right?
20:06
Luis: Because you're gonna stay on routine, you're not gonna be out really late, you're not gonna be doing things, you're not gonna be bringing them so high and then asking them to get low, right?
20:15
Luis: I mean, it's just it's gonna be one of those things where your kids are gonna regulate better and and then worship becomes meaningful, right?
20:23
Luis: Like instead of rushed.
20:24
Luis: Um we know that um the Sunday at Christmas is one of the busiest Sundays in the the church year, and so you you might be listening to this and you don't go to church regularly, but but you know you're gonna be there at Christmas, right?
20:38
Luis: Like um wouldn't it be great to walk in that day and not feel rushed?
20:42
Luis: Wouldn't it be great that day to like walk in and be like, man, we're really here to worship?
20:49
Nate: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:50
Nate: And all of those things, right?
20:51
Nate: It just it would help families so much if if we do these things so that we don't, you know, dread just the busyness and we're able to enjoy the the spiritual focus that comes with you know the Advent season, right?
21:07
Nate: Um and so peace, right, it doesn't come from just clearing your calendar completely, but from putting putting Christ at the center of it all.
21:15
Nate: So just to kind of review as we wrap wrap this up, just a couple of rapid fire takeaways, right?
21:21
Nate: Uh number one, name your non-negotiables, right?
21:24
Nate: Um these are the things um, you know, bare minimum is this is what we're gonna do for sure.
21:29
Nate: Um, and anything other than that, you know, it's just uh icing on the cake, icing on the cookies, maybe, because it's Christmas.
21:36
Nate: Yep.
21:36
Nate: Um okay.
21:37
Nate: Number two, say no, right?
21:39
Nate: Uh be gracious in saying no, but you can do it, say it early, be clear, and help protect your calendar.
21:47
Nate: Um with that, you know, protect that one at least one night weekly to just rest and relax and be with a family and and then finally just lean into that time of worship, even in small moments uh like car rides, right?
22:01
Nate: That can be worshipful moments.
22:03
Nate: So, Lewis, just as we we wind this down, any last just kind of encouragement uh to our listeners?
22:09
Luis: Yeah, so as you're listening to this, parents, if if your family feels stretched in right now, uh let me encourage you.
22:16
Luis: Um, it's not too late to change the direction of your December.
22:21
Luis: Um, you're probably listening to this uh what I guess this is gonna release on December 11th, I think.
22:26
Luis: And so sometime around December 11th or after, but you know, you've still got two weeks before Christmas Day.
22:32
Luis: And so um it's not too late to change the direction of your December.
22:36
Luis: Uh you don't need a perfect plan.
22:38
Luis: Uh you just need to be intentional in what you do.
22:42
Luis: Uh be intentional about choosing peace over pressure, be intentional about choosing worship over rushing, be intentional about choosing Christ uh over the calendar.
22:53
Luis: And remember, before you say yes to that next commitment, just ask one simple question.
22:59
Luis: Will this help my family treasure Christ at Christmas more?
23:05
Nate: Hmm, that's good stuff.
23:07
Nate: Uh so thank you all for listening to Equipped for Impact today.
23:11
Nate: I hope you all are having a Merry Christmas season.
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Nate: And if this episode encouraged you, share it with another parent who could use this resource.
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Nate: And be sure to subscribe so you don't miss our next episode in this Christmas mini series.
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Nate: Uh until then, keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ.