Latest / Live! with Fefe and Freddy / Grief, Political Catch Up, Some Light Hearted Good News and more | S14 E5

Transcript

Grief, Political Catch Up, Some Light Hearted Good News and more | S14 E5 · Live! with Fefe and Freddy

0:25
Music. Lou, good evening, good evening
0:36
everybody doing on this slightly soggy Wednesday, which I'm not
0:41
mad about mind you. I've been promised rain.
0:44
I was promised rain starting from last Thursday and we're
0:47
only just now starting to get it so.
0:50
Essentially, Mother Nature is cashing in the rain check.
0:56
I don't get it. Anyway, welcome to live with
1:04
Fifi and Freddie. This is episode 5 of season 14.
1:10
I am your rich auntie that has no money and.
1:15
Your rich auntie who has no money.
1:18
Yes, we all have one. I don't.
1:24
I'm Felicia Fifi Minor, and over there is Freddie Prince
1:31
Charming. I'm trying to like, I feel like
1:37
there is a look that I feel like I've I've feel like I've seen
1:43
something like this, but I don't know how to pinpoint it.
1:46
I don't know what it is like that rocker.
1:53
I don't know, could be I just kind of threw some stuff on.
1:56
I'm like, I wanted to be able to use the hair and I'm like, I
1:58
don't know, let me just. It looks good.
2:01
It looks good, of course. I'm getting better at blocking
2:04
my eyebrows. Oh, was it my tutorial that
2:09
helped you? Mm hmm.
2:18
Oh anyway, so we've got another jam packed show for you because
2:28
the news of our lives and that appear here on the TV has been
2:38
endless, bountiful, something of that nature.
2:45
So tonight we'll be talking about what does grief look like?
2:50
Excuse me, not look like, feel like and why doesn't it look the
2:54
same for each of us? We'll also talk about the
2:59
government opening. I was so mad.
3:01
It literally did it after we were done with our broadcast.
3:07
Literally the doors opened and files are spilling out or not
3:17
and you asked for it. Some good news this week and we
3:23
just my it with a question mark. It was really hard to find good
3:29
news. It it's.
3:33
Yeah, and I'm try, I tried really hard.
3:35
I spent like 4 hours looking for good news so.
3:41
The fact that we have to look that long to try and find
3:44
anything like positive is. I mean, you you Google positive
3:49
news or you like look around in different news mediums and like
3:56
it's very even the stuff that is kind of curated as good news is
4:03
not feel good like. No, not really.
4:09
Yeah. Anyhow, we want to thank our
4:12
patrons who signed up to get exclusive content on our
4:17
Patreon. You can go to
4:18
thepatreon.com/live with Fifi and Freddie.
4:25
I literally just realized that your contacts are two different
4:28
colors in this picture. You were there.
4:32
You. I understand that.
4:35
I've literally been looking at this picture every time you put
4:37
this up. I'm like something is throwing
4:40
me off and I couldn't figure out what it was.
4:42
That's what it is and I just realized it.
4:46
I was, I was. This is why you need to sign up
4:52
for our Patreon because Freddie never pays attention to me.
4:58
I don't even know who you are. Anyhow, if you support our
5:04
Patreon like Bill, Brandon, Cassandra, Chris and Michelle D,
5:10
Drake, Jensen and Michael, Casey, Star, Carrie and Corey,
5:14
Joan, Laura, Madame, Eskew and the Grand Arbiter, Nicole,
5:19
Patricia, Mason and Shannon, you too could get exclusives that
5:25
are on the website when you go to patreon.com/live with Fifi at
5:32
Freddie. Yes.
5:35
Mm hmm. Yes.
5:38
And we are wearing wigs of a kind this evening.
5:43
We are both of us, even I was. I was finally able to get the
5:52
the couple wigs that ended up at my house to to Felicia over the
5:56
weekend so they are now home. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:02
I had to decide what which ones I'm going to wear first.
6:07
She put the she put the one on that she's wearing.
6:10
And I was like, oh, you, you, somebody's auntie.
6:16
It, it works. It works great.
6:18
It's big. I look like the disappointed
6:20
auntie. Yeah, the one that's going to
6:26
judge you, your life choices, your partner.
6:31
Yeah, Yeah. And then put a dollar in the
6:35
collection plate. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:38
Maybe $0.50, maybe $0.50. Covered in lint at the bottom of
6:43
her purse. That she couldn't afford anyway
6:48
as we make up backstories. If you want to support us just
6:52
message us. We will take all of your money.
6:57
It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.
7:03
It does. I'm not even wearing pants
7:06
because I can't afford them. I'm only dressed from the waist
7:11
up. I'm just Winnie the poohing it.
7:16
And it's raining, so I have no shoes either.
7:21
So I walk in the rain with no shoes on.
7:24
Uphill both directions to get from my house to the drag cave.
7:29
It's very sad. It's very, very sad.
7:36
Oh, I don't think I put a question up there.
7:38
Did I always skip right over it? What you.
7:41
Did. Wow.
7:44
The question I had for the audience tonight was which
7:48
comfort food or guilty pleasure makes everything just a tiny bit
7:55
better? I would say my, my comfort foods
8:02
are always usually something Asian.
8:08
So, you know, a lot of times it'll, it'll be like, you know,
8:13
like a hot pot, which I've been craving lately or like going
8:17
down to H Mart and like getting something from the, from the
8:20
food court or something like that, like that.
8:22
That's my comfort food. That will always be my comfort
8:25
food quick sort of aside. So the other night I was dead
8:31
asleep, right? And I was dreaming about Thai
8:36
noodle soup, which I think I ate every day for like 5 years
8:42
because it was, it was part of in our, it was in our cafeteria.
8:44
Like it was made in this giant that like Oh my God.
8:48
And it was so good. I ate it every single day.
8:52
And in my dream, I could not remember how to say noodle soup
8:58
in Thai. And it woke me up because I was
9:04
so distressed about it. It woke me up because I couldn't
9:07
remember how to say it. And I was like, I have to, I
9:11
have to know. So if I wake up in the middle of
9:14
the night, I always have to go pee.
9:15
So I got up, I took my phone with me and I'm like, how do you
9:19
say noodle soup in Thai? And I, I was like, Oh my God,
9:22
thank God. I'm like, OK, that was stupid.
9:24
I don't know how I forgot that it like it was just gone out of
9:28
my head and I'm like, this is dumb.
9:29
I. Literally ate this like.
9:32
But while I was while I was doing that, I found 2 great
9:36
recipes for a couple of noodle soups.
9:39
So that's going to be on my radar sometime soon I think.
9:41
So that was a it just. Yeah, and if you, you haven't
9:46
been on our panel, Freddy has loaded it up, loaded it up with
9:53
different recipes over the summer, so.
9:55
And they're free. They're for the the free system
9:58
subscribers, which I'm I probably after the holidays, I
10:02
will try to get in to try to post another recipe like once a
10:06
month or so. It's been hard lately.
10:08
It's been I've been busy, work has been dumb.
10:10
There's been other shit. So I haven't really gotten
10:13
around. I haven't been doing as much
10:16
like I haven't been doing interesting cooking, you know,
10:19
been mostly let me just you know, I know it's, it's sucks,
10:22
but I will after the holidays, hopefully be able to try to do
10:26
that and get back into it like once a month or so if I can.
10:29
No problem. OK, no problem.
10:34
Same. Let's see how was your week?
10:39
Oh, I didn't say what my guilty food is.
10:42
I I like seafoodish things because a my family dislikes
10:52
seafood. So anytime that like we're out
10:57
restaurant or time, but you've seen me anywhere and I'm not or
11:05
it doesn't have even with my family, I order seafood if we're
11:09
out somewhere 'cause I'm like OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, give
11:13
me all of it. I love sushi.
11:20
Yeah, I'll, Yeah, Seafood, seafood.
11:24
The the next time we the next time we go to H Mart, you'll
11:27
have to get the the seafood noodle soup that I usually get
11:29
when I'm there because it's so fucking good.
11:31
Oh, OK, OK, yeah. So if you see me out and about,
11:37
I'm probably ordering seafood because because you keep people
11:43
in here. Watch on Patreon.
11:45
We talked about it last week. How was your weekend?
11:54
My weekend was actually pretty good.
11:57
So every year my partner's work like does a whole zoo lights
12:02
thing. So they the their, her work
12:04
takes over zoo lights for two days.
12:08
And so we always, we always take the kids.
12:12
We always, you know, and so this year we we went again.
12:17
And last year it was so nice. I had a beanie, I had a jacket.
12:22
I was drinking hot chocolate. This year it was almost 90.
12:27
It was like, it was like 85, I think.
12:30
And it was like, it was still, yeah, it was still like, it was
12:38
still pretty, but it really kind of like.
12:42
Like you were at the beach. And right, like it wasn't, it
12:46
wasn't, it wasn't Christmas scene, like, you know what I
12:50
mean? Like, and it kind of sucked.
12:53
Like it not, not the not the event itself.
12:55
Like I can't do anything about the fucking weather, you know
12:57
what I mean? But it's like you want to go to
12:59
those things and you want to be like, you want to be chilly and
13:02
you want to be able to have your hot chocolate and you want to be
13:04
able. And it was really hard to I'm
13:06
like, I shouldn't be sweating like it is.
13:09
It is mid November. I should not be.
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Did you? Forget where you live.
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But I was cold last year so. And global warming does not
13:20
exist. No, it doesn't.
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It's a Chinese hoax. And then we did drag bingo and
13:26
cats on Friday, which was always, it's always a good time.
13:28
We sold out. Even though some people didn't
13:30
show up. That's on them.
13:31
Thank you for your donation. We appreciate it.
13:33
Appreciate that. I think it was a very
13:37
interesting crowd. Yes, I think almost everybody
13:41
was new, with the exception of maybe one or two people.
13:46
The back where Carrie was, I don't think they were new and.
13:52
No, they were, they kept saying that they'd never been there,
13:55
that she, the table that she kept talking to.
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They kept saying that they, they, they've always wanted to
13:59
go, but they've never been able to go.
14:00
So that was their that actually was their first time.
14:02
We can make their wish come true.
14:09
And I'm so used to everybody that has been there bringing
14:13
snacks that are like of a different variety or how was
14:18
this that and the other. It was very bizarre.
14:21
And there was a lot of White Claw and High Noon, though I do.
14:29
That's OK 'cause it it went along with the Alexa the.
14:36
Though I do not recommend grapefruit White Claw.
14:43
I wouldn't. I mean, I don't drink White Claw
14:44
anyway, but the grapefruit white Claw sounds even.
14:46
Worse, but speaking to what Freddie was talking about, so we
14:52
get there and I can't really hear what she's playing, but
14:56
she's playing things and so like we start the event and.
15:02
We always tried to find like fun background music, so something,
15:05
something upbeat and you know. And so we are asking Alexa play
15:10
like party hits and she starts playing something like Taylor
15:13
Swift. No, it was Carrie Underwood.
15:16
Oh, even it was Carrie Underwood.
15:19
She started playing. It was like it was Carrie
15:21
Underwood, and it was. And then it was.
15:22
Valid, wasn't it? Something else.
15:24
And we're like, what the fuck kind of party hits is this?
15:29
And then we went to what was it? I tried a couple.
15:36
I tried the 2000s party hits. Which they went to straight to
15:41
something else that was super white.
15:43
Like, yeah, it was something, it was something like Carrie
15:46
Underwood ish. And we were like, the fuck?
15:47
And then somebody in the audience recommended we asked
15:51
for the tempo playlist. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck
15:55
that was. That was, I don't know.
15:57
I don't know. Then the.
15:59
And then you. You asked for You asked for
16:01
urban party hits. Yeah, and it played reggaeton
16:05
and I was like, oh. And then we went for, we went
16:11
for 90s party hits and the first thing out they gained.
16:15
No, no, it was 90. It was, it was, it was 90s R&B,
16:20
90s hip hop or R and beat with something hip hop and the first
16:23
thing it plays is fucking Vanilla Ice.
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I'm like, Oh my God. Very disappointed.
16:28
I was so disappointed. It got better after that, but Oh
16:32
my God, I've never that's that's how you know, like who has been
16:38
playing music on fucking Alexa when everything.
16:42
Is. No, mine doesn't do that either.
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Like it was the Alexa was whiter than this glove right here.
16:49
OK, I I was. Shocked and appalled.
16:56
It was. Literally could not.
16:58
Oh. My God, Oh my God.
17:00
And then we we the the same, the same woman that suggested the
17:04
tempo playlist decided that she was going to be helpful because,
17:08
you know, we'd never done this before and.
17:11
Only been doing it for 20 years, that's fine.
17:13
Right. And we've been doing bingo for
17:17
how long now? Almost since before the pandemic
17:20
at the, So it's, it's been 7:00-ish, probably years, give
17:24
or take. And we're one of the, one of the
17:29
things that we do during, during bingo is we do the byline.
17:31
So it's the bees and the eyes, right?
17:33
So usually we just take the bees and the eyes, put those back in
17:36
the hopper. You should have saw this woman's
17:38
face. She.
17:39
And we before we had before we had decided the bees in the
17:43
eyes, I think I took like maybe two or three GS and put them in
17:47
and then we were like, OK, let's do the byline.
17:49
So then I started grabbing the rest of them.
17:50
And she, she raises her hand and is like to make it easier, you
17:56
could just put like the B's and the I's in there.
18:03
We're like, OK, yeah, we we've done this before.
18:09
Thank you so much this. Isn't our first one.
18:12
It's OK if you think it is, but. I just thought it.
18:16
Was I was like she was very the anxiety that was on her face was
18:22
legit like. It was.
18:24
It was, it was an interesting crowd.
18:26
It was a very interesting crowd. And then Saturday I went to wax
18:32
a bear over at Ample this year. It was a fundraiser for Ripple
18:36
Phoenix. I know they raised a good deal.
18:39
I don't know what the final tally was, but Jeremy Bright did
18:44
get waxed. I think he ended up going for a
18:46
550 and ended up people pulled their money.
18:52
So if you have a like, if you have different people pulling
18:54
their money, then every person gets to pull the strips.
18:56
So I think he got like, he got like 2 strips here, like 2
19:00
strips to press his belly and then we're like 1 down the
19:02
middle. Oh, that, that shit hurts.
19:05
I you know what? Bravo, Jeremy.
19:08
I know that's why that shit hurts.
19:10
And I'm on your chest. I'm like, oh so.
19:14
Clarkson. So but that it was it was a good
19:20
event again, it was it was warm, like the last two years I was
19:25
chilly, you know, and almost everybody there that was in
19:30
leather, because it's a it's a leather event.
19:32
It takes place at anvil. And everybody that was like
19:34
dressed in leather was like, this is this is dumb.
19:38
This is it's hot, It's too hot. It's like.
19:43
Everybody go follow Marissa. Everybody.
19:46
Go follow Marissa, she got some she posted some fun ones she
19:50
posted. Some kind of looking at some of
19:53
them. But yeah, but other than that,
19:55
it was it was a good event. I won a pair of chaps, so that
19:59
was fun. I didn't win any of the the
20:00
baskets that I wanted. And I did speak to a manager
20:04
about that because I feel like it was very transphobic that I
20:08
did not win one of the baskets that I wanted.
20:10
Especially during Trans Awareness Week.
20:13
Right, right. I feel like I should have had an
20:15
upper hand, but whatever it's. Fine, it's OK, I don't have
20:19
affirmative action anymore. So you don't.
20:23
That's just rude. Rude.
20:26
But I mean, it's so. But it was still a good event
20:28
and I still got to see people that I don't get to see on a
20:29
regular basis and stuff. So All in all, it was a good
20:34
weekend. Yes, I enjoyed the weekend as
20:42
well. Friday we did drag bingo and
20:46
cats. I just wanted to know I
20:48
demolished the freak boys or Freak brothers pizza.
20:54
It's good. It's a good pizza.
20:56
I did not have a good pizza. Any chance to like look back at
21:00
it? It was gone and I didn't realize
21:05
that I had eaten at all. You gotta grab the slice and
21:09
you're like shit. But yeah, and the Mexican spray
21:17
can't go wrong anyway. And then on Saturday, I'm I'm
21:23
still living with little ones. And so the school, I think we
21:30
talked about this last night because I was so excited about
21:32
it. The school offered to do like a
21:35
play date event and so like 3 to 4 hours of one of the children
21:41
disappearing at the school and we did some grocery shopping and
21:49
got ready for Thanksgiving and hopefully the amount we spent, I
21:56
hope that we had we got everything.
22:00
If not, I will post the Patreon link again because we're
22:11
parenting over here and let's expand so.
22:16
Which Speaking of parenting, OK, so Oh my God, these kids.
22:21
So we have the kids this week and before we even get them,
22:24
we're like, all right, who are we feeding on what days?
22:27
Like what days are people not going to be?
22:28
Do you have? Like sign up genius for the
22:31
nights that you're I. They'd never, they would never,
22:34
they would never fucking use it. Stick to a scum point.
22:37
So we, we asked, all right, who's going to be here?
22:40
When are you going to be eating? Whatever.
22:42
And then I repeated it back to them, right, 'cause the youngest
22:48
was like every day, but Thursday, OK, The other one was
22:51
like, what was he saying? He said Tuesday after work and
22:56
then Thursday or yeah, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday, OK.
23:02
And then the other one was like, not Wednesday and not Friday,
23:06
I'm working. OK.
23:08
So I again, I repeated this back to them, right.
23:11
So the one of course that says that we're not feeding him
23:14
tonight or Friday, text me a little while ago, a while ago
23:17
and goes what's for dinner? Nothing, nothing.
23:22
You told me that you were not going to be here.
23:25
Like no, just after nine. OK, you didn't say that.
23:28
I even screenshot of the thing and I sent it back to him and I
23:30
said I even repeated it back to you.
23:33
Oh shit. I'm like, no, there you, we did
23:37
not plan on you being here because you said that you were
23:40
not eating here. And his brother.
23:43
And for yourself night here. So his his brother will say that
23:48
he will be here after work, which means if you're making
23:52
something, leave leftovers or make enough for me to eat later.
23:56
You know, like he did that he did that last night.
24:00
And in fact, I had a feeling since he was closing that if he
24:05
was going to be eating here, that his friend, who he usually
24:08
closes with will be eating here as well.
24:11
And I even said as much to my partner.
24:13
I was like, wait, I'm going to wait for Mikey to text me and
24:15
ask if there's enough for Isaiah.
24:17
So I just made enough for his friend anyway.
24:21
And sure enough, Isaiah wants to know if there's enough for him
24:25
to eat. Yes, I already planned on it
24:28
because I know how this goes. Kids are annoying.
24:35
So people that hire parents you should know that we come
24:40
equipped with like pre planning, mind reading.
24:49
Eyes in the back of our head. And often hearing you should
24:54
have known. I don't know if you hear it at
24:58
your house, but I hear that mine.
25:00
I should have known. Yeah, we get that that, that you
25:06
know well. And different variations.
25:09
Like I mentioned it forever ago or we or you mentioned.
25:13
It when you were heading to the bathroom, right?
25:17
I was not thinking. Is it on the calendar?
25:18
Because if it's not on the calendar, it doesn't exist.
25:21
Like I don't, I don't know what to tell you.
25:24
Like you have to put it on the calendar.
25:25
Otherwise we have trying to juggle 5 people like you, you
25:30
have to put shit on the calendar.
25:31
Like especially when you have two that are working, you know,
25:36
and like it, it's like, no, there's, there's you have to put
25:38
shit on the calendar or we can't.
25:41
And if you don't tell me something, then I'm just going
25:44
to assume that you're not going to be here or whatever.
25:47
Like you, you, if you don't answer, I'm just not gonna, I'm
25:50
gonna assume that you're whatever.
25:52
I'm it's. It's annoying.
25:57
Well, welcome to our lives and again, they are all busy all the
26:04
time. Yeah, yeah.
26:12
But so are you. Sometimes I'm.
26:18
Sometimes I'm busy. I'm not even sure why I'm busy.
26:21
Like I don't know what I'm I'm like, people are like, what have
26:25
you been doing? And I'm like, I don't, I don't
26:27
know. Like I've been busy, but I don't
26:28
know what I've been doing. I don't know why I'm busy.
26:31
I just have no time for shit. I don't know.
26:33
I don't know. It's oh boy, I know.
26:38
Alright, let's get into the tip. This week, trigger warning, we
26:46
may be talking about mortality. I think trigger warning, content
26:51
warning, maybe you know, just just a heads up, just a heads
26:55
up, just a heads up. So we usually like often with
27:14
the tip, we usually even if we're talking about something
27:16
that's sort of on the more serious side, we try to keep it
27:18
light and bring it, you know, especially with all the other
27:22
shit that's going on. But this week I and I just
27:29
because I've seen a lot happening in the last week or
27:32
so, but I would, I really want to talk a little bit about
27:38
grief. And one of the reasons is, you
27:44
know, so you know, there's a couple reasons.
27:47
A friend lost their mom sort of unexpectedly last week, like
27:53
she'd been in the hospital, but it looked like she was getting
27:56
better and on the mend and they expected her to be home and
27:58
she's not. And then we actually lost a
28:02
friend suddenly and very unexpectedly earlier this week.
28:08
And that has sent an, an entire community here in Phoenix and
28:14
beyond, I would say in Arizona, almost an entire community of
28:18
folks in into a, a grief spiral. And I, I think it's, I think
28:26
it's different when someone passes after a like a long
28:32
illness, you know, versus when you know, it's, it's sudden and
28:37
unexpected doesn't make it better or worse.
28:40
It's just different. You know, you, you people that
28:44
have, have lost, you know, loved ones or whatever through long
28:49
term illness. You know, you, it's not like
28:52
you're ready for it necessarily, but you've had time to to kind
28:57
of prepare and to kind of process ahead of time and, you
29:03
know, get things in order, you know, put your, your, your, your
29:06
paperwork in order, get all of that, you know, situated.
29:11
Slide down. And I think that that the way
29:14
that we, we tend to grieve and deal with either situation, I
29:19
believe it's, it tends to be a little bit different, like, but
29:24
also grief doesn't just come with the loss of life.
29:30
It can come with the loss of a relationship, either romantic or
29:36
platonic. It can come with any, any
29:39
change, especially bigger life changes.
29:42
You know, you can even grieve the idea of something or the,
29:48
the idea of losing something without even actually happening
29:52
yet. And it does look different for
29:53
everyone, for every situation. You know, you can like I still
29:58
for me, like I still grieve the loss of some of my pets, you
30:03
know, like there's like I, I get my pets are my babies.
30:07
And you know, there are times when I'm still even pets that I
30:11
lost 1516 years ago, Like I still miss those animals, you
30:20
know, and you know, you, you can, you can grieve situations,
30:27
you know, you like, I know that if my partner and I ever move
30:34
and either sell this house or, you know, whatever, like I will
30:37
grieve this house. I don't, I will, I would, I will
30:44
grieve losing the people or not losing, but leaving the people
30:48
in and I don't know right. I don't know that I would
30:51
necessarily grieve like leaving Arizona unnecessarily, but the,
30:56
the people and the, the connections and stuff that I've
30:59
made. But, you know, so it's not just
31:04
grief doesn't just come with a loss of life.
31:06
It comes with any, anything like that.
31:09
And it's, you know, the, the, the, the five stages of grief
31:13
still sometimes happen with those different situations.
31:17
Now, I think most people are familiar with the five stages of
31:21
grief, but just in case you're not.
31:24
So we have denial where there's that disbelief or shock that
31:31
it's even happened, Anger directed at the situation
31:36
yourself or at others bargaining.
31:40
So you're attempting to negotiate with a higher power to
31:42
reverse the loss. You know it's futile, but you're
31:46
going to do it anyway. Depression, you have that
31:49
sadness when it finally hits you and acceptance where you're
31:55
coming to terms with it and you're trying to move forward.
31:58
Now The thing is, is not, not everyone experiences each stage
32:05
and they're not always experienced in linear order.
32:09
So it's not like a checklist where you're like, oh, OK, I've
32:13
lost some things. So all right, now I'm gonna do
32:15
denial and then I'm gonna go down and do anger and do the,
32:20
you know, so. But almost most people, I think
32:28
experience most of the stages in one form or another.
32:36
Like I know I know with me when ending like a serious
32:42
relationship or something like that.
32:44
I think for me I can always tell when I'm starting to get over
32:50
the hump and start healing when I'm angry.
32:57
The depression comes before SO. So yours comes out of order.
33:05
Right technique out of the out of the sort of technical order.
33:08
Depression is always what comes like first for me.
33:11
Like that, that that deep sadness.
33:16
I can always tell when I'm starting to get over the hump
33:18
and I'm just like, you know what, fuck this, fuck this, fuck
33:22
you. This is bullshit.
33:24
I didn't you know what I mean? When you're, when you're for me,
33:26
when I'm when I'm angry, that's when I can tell that I'm
33:29
starting to kind of get over that hump.
33:34
I feel like especially after 2020 and during some of the
33:38
election things, I feel like I've often grieve the version of
33:46
myself or a version of other people.
33:52
Yes, very often, yes, because you just don't.
34:02
It's almost like a you don't know who is with you or I don't
34:08
know. But I feel like that idea of who
34:12
I thought certain people were, it fades.
34:16
And then I'm thinking to myself like, OK, so who am I to these
34:22
people and who am I to myself? And am I moving away from this?
34:29
Am I? Where am I going?
34:31
And I would say that I turn into that the anger and I have.
34:39
I definitely don't like when people say that I cannot or I
34:45
will not or they want me to be the version of what they think I
34:52
should be. I end up fighting that so much
34:57
and you turn into that that beast that you're like, I am a
35:04
different version now. If you, I, I like, I, I think
35:08
that like a lot of times, if you, you think back on the
35:12
things that you did to try to either fit in or, you know, you,
35:18
you let go of who you were in order to be whatever version
35:23
somebody expected you to be. Like.
35:26
That can absolutely, for me that, that can absolutely bring
35:30
on grief because it's like I've, it's a feeling of, of missing
35:34
out. Like I, I could have been a
35:37
better version of myself had I not tried to change or, you
35:44
know, had I not listened to this person or whatever, you know
35:48
what I mean? Like it, it like that.
35:50
I could have started transitioning quite a while
35:53
before I actually started transitioning had I not had the
35:59
thing, the outside influences and stuff that you know what I
36:03
mean? Like I probably would have
36:04
started transitioning in my 20s. Maybe I would have had hair for
36:06
a while. That would have been nice.
36:11
I never, I never got to. I only got to experience that
36:14
for a few years and then all of a sudden it started thinning
36:16
like crazy and I was like, man, I never got to experience like
36:19
being a, a dude with like a decent metabolism.
36:25
I know it's a thing, but we, I think everybody in, in one way
36:30
or another has experienced grief and loss and dealing with that
36:35
can be so difficult. You know, you, you, you want to
36:42
mourn. You want to have that time to be
36:44
able to process. But often you also know that
36:48
life has to go on. You have to keep doing the
36:54
things that you need to do. You know, maybe maybe you have
36:56
kids or you have pets that need to be tended to.
36:58
You can't just not, you know, and doesn't matter, you know,
37:03
how depressed or hostile like you, you sometimes you just have
37:09
to keep going, you know, doing. And I think, I think sometimes
37:14
people see other people doing life after a loss and kind of
37:20
go, well, you know, that they, they obviously didn't care.
37:25
And it's like, no, that's not, that's not a thing like life.
37:30
Sometimes you, you, sometimes you, you, you, you.
37:33
Not everybody has the luxury to just be able to sit in their
37:36
grief and stop doing life. You know, like you're allowed to
37:43
grieve on your own time in your own way.
37:46
Like when I heard about the loss of our friend on Monday, it was
37:51
in the middle of my work day and my partner was actually at like
37:59
about to leave work on lunch and she texted me and was like, Oh
38:04
my God, did you see this? And sent me a screenshot of the
38:07
post. And I was like what, what?
38:13
Like I and I had to go and, and look at it myself to, to really
38:20
be like, wait, wait, wait a minute.
38:22
Like what? And it, it took me a second, but
38:27
I was, I was in the middle of my work day and I was working on a
38:31
case that that had a, a deadline and like I didn't like shit.
38:37
My, my partner comes home for lunch and we're both upset.
38:41
You know, she's crying. I'm, I'm tearing up.
38:45
I'm you know and but I'm also trying to work on this case.
38:49
I can't just not work on this like I have to do my work and.
38:54
But how does that feel when the you can't?
38:57
Like it's hard, the emotion, damn.
39:00
It, it was hard, like I, I caught myself throughout the
39:03
rest of the day like my, you know, I was, I was hurting, my
39:06
heart was hurting and I was so incredibly sad and I was, I, I
39:10
pushed through it. I, I powered through, I kept
39:12
working, but it was like I'd catch myself every so often,
39:17
just the I, I couldn't stop the emotions.
39:21
So it's like I'm, I'm typing through tears.
39:24
I'm, you know, and it's like, what, what am I?
39:27
What am I supposed to do? I, I can't not.
39:30
And you know, seeing as more and more people found out like, my
39:37
feed was just full of, of disbelief of, of like it was.
39:47
Yeah, I will say I found out. I mean, Monday was such a
39:54
overwhelming day because I had a lot of things going on and I
39:59
didn't find out until I was like going to bed like that.
40:06
You know, you have those days where you don't even look at
40:08
your phone 'cause that's how busy you are.
40:10
And so I'm looking. You had posted something.
40:16
And then I'm like, well, what? And I'm like, what happened?
40:21
And so then curious mind, I'm like looking and I'm like, oh,
40:26
no. And like I feel like I'm kind of
40:32
removed from certain areas. Like I don't go to shows as much
40:40
as I used to or I don't perform with people as much as I used
40:44
to. So I feel like I'm like, Oh my
40:49
gosh, like what? What do I do?
40:54
Like, like, I don't know where that feeling comes from, but I'm
40:58
like always like, OK. And I've always, always from a
41:05
young age have had a problem with death.
41:09
And so I think mortality ending life, that scares me for
41:17
whatever reason. But I, I don't know, I'm I feel
41:26
like I'm still processing and I feel like I process very slow.
41:33
It's. And I feel like it might hit me
41:39
when I least expect it, and I might be one of those people
41:42
that people might look at me and go, well, why haven't you posted
41:46
anything? And I mean, that's and that's
41:48
the thing and it's. Loud.
41:50
And it's like, and also in like, you know, the day and age of
41:54
social media, it's like, if you don't post something, then do
41:56
you really care? And it's like.
41:58
I do care, just in case anybody wants to know, right?
42:01
Like it's not people are, you know, and, and collective grief
42:07
is a thing. Like we're with this situation,
42:10
like we're, we're all going through it together.
42:12
And I think we're kind of working through like the denial
42:16
stage right now because everybody is just like how like
42:22
there's there's no way like that.
42:24
That doesn't make sense. It doesn't, you know, you
42:28
someone, you know, younger than me is all of a sudden like would
42:34
what like it, It's, it's still it's, it's, you know, so
42:41
everybody's kind of going through this, this collective
42:44
processing denial like it's, it's, you know, and that's,
42:49
that's The thing is that, you know, a good friend of ours
42:52
lost, you know, her partner. And I think that is kind of what
42:58
hits it for us as well, 'cause it's like, what are you doing?
43:02
And your partner all of a sudden disappeared And you know, so
43:06
it's, it's hard and. Can you read this one after my
43:11
dad? After my dad passed, for the
43:12
longest time I didn't realize I was in a deep depression.
43:15
I couldn't enjoy anything for a long time.
43:17
It wasn't until two to three years ago when I broke through
43:19
and that that can happen, you know, and you know it.
43:26
I think when it there are some things that that when it comes
43:28
to to grief and loss, and I think that the things that need
43:31
to be said and that's you don't get to dictate how someone
43:36
grieves. How you grieve may look
43:39
different than how somebody else's grieves, and yours is not
43:41
the right way. And you may not grieve the same
43:46
way every time that you lose someone.
43:48
No, there it's it's different. I remember when we lost Dylan
43:55
and the initial shock was difficult.
44:02
I was a hard hitter. But I remember when we went to
44:07
his memorial in San Diego, everyone was not, not happy, but
44:16
it was more of a celebration of life than it was a funeral.
44:20
And then we went to like gay brunch the next day and it was,
44:24
you know, everybody just kept, you know, and, and it didn't
44:28
feel wrong to be happy. You know what I mean?
44:33
Like it. I remember, I, I still look at
44:36
the, the pictures sometimes will will pop up.
44:38
And when we were at the hotel, I remember that it was, I think it
44:45
was the first time at the beach for me after top surgery.
44:51
Yes. And in every single picture that
44:56
we took, we went to the beach. It was right outside our hotel.
44:59
And in every single picture, there is a little orb that hangs
45:05
out in every single picture. And I remember looking at those
45:10
pictures afterwards going, oh, he was totally hanging out with
45:13
us. He was totally there, totally
45:16
there. And I think that helped me.
45:21
And grief can be felt long term, just like, you know, the, the
45:28
person that, that took forever to come out of, of losing their,
45:34
their dad, you know, or it can be shorter, you know, some
45:38
people grieve for, for months or even years before really being
45:43
able to move on. Some much shorter.
45:46
And again, it doesn't make it wrong.
45:50
Some people never really get over the grief.
45:52
So I actually, and just a little fact, my uncle actually sent me
45:58
APDF file of, of genealogy stuff that he's been compiling from
46:02
from that side of the family. And first of all, I next week I
46:06
may, I may share some pictures because I come from some very my
46:10
daughter called my great, great, great, great grandfathers
46:15
iconic. She's like, Oh my God, why is he
46:16
an icon? I'll have to show you pictures
46:18
because. Kind of fabulous.
46:20
But I found out that my great great grandmother died of grief
46:27
after her husband was murdered. He was supposed to be heading
46:30
back to Sweden and before he was able to leave he was robbed and
46:36
murdered and she died of a broken heart.
46:41
She left three young children. I believe in that wholehearted.
46:45
Oh, 100%. But she she ended up, she left
46:49
three young children to be raised by relatives, be she just
46:53
couldn't not be without her husband.
46:56
Like, you know, and not that I'm saying, you know, go that route,
47:02
like, please don't go that route.
47:04
Like, you know, but some people really, really struggle with it.
47:08
And just because someone seems to have moved on sooner than you
47:14
have doesn't mean that they don't still think about the
47:18
person, or that they don't still mourn the person, or they don't
47:21
still miss the person. They've just gotten to the point
47:26
where it's easier for them to get to where they are able to
47:34
find the good memories and not be sitting in the grief.
47:43
And again, that that doesn't make it better.
47:47
It's just how people process things.
47:52
And you have to remember that that the face that someone puts
47:55
on in public may not be the face that they have in private.
48:00
You know, just because someone isn't posting all over Facebook
48:04
about, you know, losing this individual or whatever doesn't
48:08
mean that they're not feeling something.
48:11
It doesn't mean that they're not hurt or sad or upset.
48:15
It just means that they're not putting everything on fucking
48:17
Facebook. So if you don't see something on
48:23
Facebook from someone that you think you should see something
48:25
on Facebook from, don't automatically think, Oh well,
48:29
why isn't this person saying anything like what the fuck?
48:33
Like not everybody puts all of their thoughts on social media
48:40
and that's OK. I think with in the age of
48:45
technology that we're at, I think it's almost expected that
48:47
if you don't put something on, you know, let me, let me post
48:50
RIP and a picture of them photoshopped onto a sky with
48:54
Angel wings or some shit. Like I'm like that doesn't.
48:58
Please don't do that to me or if you're going to do that to me.
49:01
I might. If you're going to do that to
49:04
me, make sure it is like just really badly photoshopped.
49:08
And I'll put a staircase. Thank you, but the yes, but the
49:12
dimensions and the perspective have to be all.
49:14
Wrong. Yes, I'll, I'll get some clip
49:17
art that doesn't go together and merge it all together and say,
49:22
look everyone, I'm a professional.
49:25
And use like Ms. Publisher to like put the font on it and be
49:29
like the squiggly WAVY thing that.
49:31
I don't know if I could. Oh no.
49:33
If if you're going to do it, do it badly for me.
49:36
For me, this is what I expect for me.
49:39
So just FYI for this now that this is on the interwebs for
49:43
like all of eternity and posterity then.
49:47
You're putting me in a hard place.
49:49
I don't. I this is this is these are
49:51
things that I expect, especially if something happens and I, you
49:53
know, pass sooner than whatever, make sure that I am badly
49:57
photoshopped onto like clouds and a staircase and wings and.
50:01
Soft to D then. Badly.
50:06
So just you know. I did want to say before we
50:11
leave the topic, there was a guest that we had within our
50:18
first season, Brian Anthony and I was so proud of of our first
50:29
season because I had like rounded up these guests that I
50:32
didn't think that I would ever speak to and, and Brian was one
50:39
of them. And so he was on here and one
50:46
day I don't know what made me I have AT shirt of his that he
50:51
sent me. And so I wore it and I was going
50:54
to like take a picture of it because I still have it because
50:58
that's like over 10 years ago, right?
51:00
And so then I looked him up and I went down a rabbit hole.
51:07
I don't even know if I told you this and found out that he
51:11
passed. And so I was like, oh, my
51:18
goodness. And so like I think things
51:22
sometimes of like I wish I would have reached out to people or I
51:27
wish I would have said something or I.
51:30
Think I actually found out someone do do you?
51:35
Do you remember there was a a a a king in in Florida who used to
51:41
follow us a lot, Watch my show all the time.
51:45
Do you remember Vinny? Yeah.
51:48
I didn't know Vinny actually passed a couple years ago.
51:53
I had no idea. I had no idea.
51:59
So we were going to start the grieving process.
52:01
Right. But you know, it's and you know,
52:05
just like my, my, my partner says, you know, it puts things
52:09
in perspective and makes you kind of faced hard needed
52:12
conversations, especially with partners and loved ones and
52:15
things and end of life plans and all that good stuff.
52:18
Like we're like, it's a hassle. But now I got to think about
52:21
these things and one I. Tell my kids all the time I only
52:25
have $0.25. You all split it.
52:31
Yeah, just be prepared for like a major drag like yard sale in
52:34
my backyard. I feel like that's going to be a
52:36
thing. And one thing I, I, I think
52:39
needs to be said is that it's OK to be happy.
52:45
It's OK to celebrate the life, the person, the good times.
52:51
And this goes with, with anything, the relationship that
52:54
that ended, the whatever. Like you, you're allowed to feel
53:00
joy still. You're allowed to feel happy.
53:03
You can miss the person, you can miss the relationship, the pet,
53:07
the whatever. Whatever it is that you are
53:09
grieving, you are allowed to miss them.
53:12
But missing them doesn't mean that you have to be sad or you
53:17
have to hurt the whole time. You're allowed to laugh in
53:21
between the tears. And if you do find yourself,
53:27
especially if it's still fresh and you're, you're still dealing
53:31
with the different stages and you're still processing, but you
53:34
find yourself smiling or laughing or being happy, it
53:40
doesn't mean that you don't miss them.
53:46
It doesn't mean that you don't love them anymore.
53:49
It just means that for a second, something other than the loss
53:55
was able to come in and make you smile.
53:58
And that is OK. You cannot beat yourself up
54:02
about things like that. And you know no matter how well
54:08
you knew a person, losing them can still affect you.
54:11
And it's, it is OK to feel less grief while still feeling for
54:19
the people or the community who knew them best.
54:23
Like, and don't be like certain people who are in our community
54:27
that try to like monopolize grief or try to pretend that
54:32
they knew somebody better than they actually did.
54:34
There's certain there is a person that has done that twice
54:37
now with people in the community.
54:40
And first of all, it's a shitty thing to do.
54:44
No one likes you. They didn't like you.
54:46
Nobody likes you. Do we have that when somebody in
54:51
the community passed and we were all like, yes, they didn't like
54:57
you so. Yeah, same person.
55:01
You don't you don't have to feel overwhelming grief for
55:04
everybody. You may not have known somebody
55:07
and but it's OK to still be like, you know, the to
55:11
acknowledge the impact of the community, both of their life
55:14
and their loss. And but you don't have to
55:18
pretend that it is something that is heavy on you if it
55:22
isn't. And other people should also
55:24
understand that like you didn't know them as well as as these
55:28
other people, so. You don't have to be the same
55:31
way I do. If I do acknowledge or post it,
55:35
I'll say it. Well, I didn't know so and so as
55:38
much as everybody else did, but here's.
55:41
Like I can. Memory that I have.
55:43
Right. I can say, you know, our, our,
55:45
you know, our paths crossed for years, you know, in, in
55:49
different ways. We've shared, you know, stages
55:51
or whatever, but we weren't close.
55:53
But you know, I remember this about them, you know, and it's
55:57
an acknowledgement. But I don't have to, you don't
55:59
have to feel the same amount of grief as people that were closer
56:04
to them. And that's OK too.
56:05
And people shouldn't be guilting you for that.
56:08
So, so thank you for, you know, sticking through as we dealt
56:13
with something a little bit heavier tonight.
56:15
But I think it's a good thing to talk about.
56:18
I think, you know, not everything is always happy and
56:23
and fluffy. And I think that it's OK to
56:26
acknowledge certain things. And I think that it's OK to talk
56:28
about certain things because you never know who that conversation
56:34
might reach and who, right? Like you, there may be somebody
56:39
that's struggling that for some reason happens upon this and
56:42
they're like, oh, you know what? This is actually a good
56:44
conversation. I feel better.
56:46
I feel, you know, it's, I understand my grief better.
56:49
I understand my process better or whatever.
56:51
Not that I'm a psychologist in any way shape or form, but.
56:54
I was gonna say that if anything, if you feel like you
57:01
need help processing. Yes.
57:04
Please seek like therapy. Or absolutely go find
57:12
professional help if needed. Absolutely, Absolutely.
57:17
Been there, still going so, but yeah, it helps.
57:26
It helps even if you just say what the memories are, it right,
57:31
it helps. That's all.
57:35
Let's get in to our current events, shall we?
57:58
So this week on current events, so I was asked are they still on
58:07
the chat by Brandon McGill who has been on our show several
58:13
times and is probably overdue for this season.
58:20
And so they asked for lighter news.
58:22
So I did not put as much as I have been and I tried to find
58:30
good news which either it's not labeled correctly or like
58:36
Huffington Post had a good news section that's trash.
58:39
If you don't believe me, type in Huffington Post good news or
58:46
something and it's it literally it's a it's a sidebar to their
58:53
daily conversation. So either I I could have sworn
58:59
that there was an actor, the guy from the office, the US version,
59:05
if anybody is Pam's love interest guy.
59:15
No, I remember the actor's name but I thought during the
59:19
pandemic he was doing good news but I can't remember a his name
59:23
and what the site was called so I'll.
59:29
Super helpful. I'll look into it, but the first
59:33
thing I found was this was on social media and I thought it
59:38
was funny only because I'll. I'll tell you in a minute. the
59:43
US penny has been retired. the US Mint produced its last set of
59:48
pennies. RIP.
59:51
So we'll have. To Can you Photoshop the penny
59:55
on a staircase in the clouds? I'm gonna do that.
59:59
Watch me. I have Canva.
1:00:02
I'm a graphic artist. Many Americans are voicing their
1:00:08
concerns. Meanwhile, Canadians and others
1:00:12
were commenting that they got rid of their pennies and other
1:00:15
small change a while ago, like more than a decade ago.
1:00:20
Yeah, and some were laughing at us in the comments.
1:00:26
Yeah, of some of these social posts.
1:00:31
Yeah, we're, we're a little behind.
1:00:33
Most countries at this point have gotten rid of like
1:00:38
depending on on the like the currency, they're like the
1:00:41
equivalent of like a 1 cent or maybe 2 cent because.
1:00:48
Like because it cost, it cost almost $0.04 to produce a penny.
1:00:53
Yeah. So it costs more than the penny
1:00:57
itself. Even even a few years ago, it
1:01:01
still cost more than the penny itself.
1:01:03
It's it's gone up, but it was almost $0.02 per penny to.
1:01:08
Produce a penny. To produce a penny.
1:01:10
So now it's like 4 times the value of a penny to produce a
1:01:17
penny. Like it just doesn't make sense.
1:01:18
Like it? Wasn't cost efficient folks.
1:01:21
So let's just leave it alone. Yeah.
1:01:27
And like I said earlier, shortly after we signed off of the
1:01:32
episode, dump truck signed off on so we could end the
1:01:37
government shutdown which started on October 1st.
1:01:42
It was the longest like 40 something days ever, which is
1:01:50
the longest whatever. Those who are expected to
1:01:59
receive a check should receive like 70% within like 3 to 4
1:02:06
business days. I don't know what that I think
1:02:10
that's like today if I'm not mistaken.
1:02:14
I think that's about right. And so and they'll receive 70%
1:02:20
and then they'll get the other 30% soon thereafter.
1:02:26
I can't imagine if somebody was like, I promise to pay and I was
1:02:34
not sure based on, I couldn't get things to match up if the
1:02:38
military was able to make payments to their members or
1:02:44
service members. And so I hope that they're
1:02:49
included in the 70%. At the very least, like Jesus.
1:02:54
SNAP benefits, from what I can tell, have been restored.
1:03:01
Somebody tell me if I'm wrong, but from the stories, it looks
1:03:05
like SNAP benefits have been restored.
1:03:08
I have not seen, you know, I'm sure this will come down the
1:03:12
Pike later because our governor went ahead and said fuck that,
1:03:18
let's just feed our people because she has a moral compass
1:03:25
if the state will be penalized or not.
1:03:28
Oh, I'm glad you added that. It looks like American citizens
1:03:37
will be getting a affiliate check of $2000 from the money
1:03:45
that we've earned. So it's.
1:03:50
Tariffs right, right. Oh also also real quick, we we
1:03:59
found out why groceries are so expensive.
1:04:01
Now the South Americans are crossing the border with their
1:04:06
cattle carrying as they're climbing over walls and things
1:04:12
they're bringing their cattle with them.
1:04:13
So you know what? I, I understand it now and I, I
1:04:17
get it. You know what?
1:04:18
More props to them if they are able to take their cattle and,
1:04:21
like, lift them over the wall. I am happy to pay more for beef.
1:04:26
And bravo to you. South Americans must be
1:04:31
incredibly strong, resilient people who are able to bring
1:04:35
their cattle all the way from South America to the border and
1:04:39
then get them over the wall. Yeah.
1:04:43
This is at a dump truck's mouth. Yeah.
1:04:45
Oh, and they're also buying all the houses.
1:04:48
Oh, with what money? And how are they staying here
1:04:52
when he keeps arresting them through ice?
1:04:55
Between the welfare and then bringing their cattle and
1:04:59
selling their cattle, This is why they're buying all the
1:05:02
houses. But also last week he said that
1:05:09
Americans are not talented enough, so we need foreigners to
1:05:13
come fill the positions here in America.
1:05:17
I mean, he's not entirely wrong, but.
1:05:22
So. So low in education, it's like,
1:05:27
but again, when it comes to people coming in from other
1:05:32
countries, they're not taking, you know, Bubba's job at Burger
1:05:37
King. They're they're being brought in
1:05:40
to be engineers and, you know, surgeons and shit because
1:05:45
they're more qualified than what we're turning out.
1:05:48
So. And also we don't want black
1:05:51
people taking those jobs. So.
1:05:53
Oh. No, no, no, we can't have that.
1:05:57
No, we can't have that. No, I mean, Charlie Kirk made
1:06:00
that very clear and he was very, you know, that's.
1:06:04
And according to recent memos, why people are afraid of
1:06:08
becoming the minority. So yeah.
1:06:16
Well, I mean, just look at Nicki Minaj, who's very grateful to
1:06:21
Trump for addressing the ongoing persecution of Christians in
1:06:29
Nigeria. Oh my God.
1:06:34
At the fucking United Nations of all fucking places.
1:06:38
I mean, we're that's a whole other I I.
1:06:44
Is she grabbing at straws? She's trying to get her
1:06:47
boyfriend pardoned. That's what she's trying to do.
1:06:51
The oh, isn't he a sex offender? Yes, yeah, that's that's why
1:06:58
she's she's she's going for that pardon.
1:07:01
She is going hard too. She has Trump's Dick so far up
1:07:05
her mouth. I would call it an Anaconda, but
1:07:09
I don't think it is. But I she.
1:07:14
Wow. Yeah, yeah, she's reaching.
1:07:17
Yeah, I I'm like, first of all, you're going to send Nicki Minaj
1:07:21
to the fucking United Nations. I OK, you're going to talk about
1:07:27
the persecution of Christians, OK, Like I OK, I like this is
1:07:34
bizarro world. I swear to God I don't even.
1:07:37
I don't. I would like to.
1:07:39
I would like to figure out which portal I went in to get to this
1:07:43
multiverse. I don't think I'm in the right
1:07:47
place. There, there's an, there's an
1:07:50
episode of of Next Generation where there's multiple wormholes
1:07:58
and there's like 6 or 7 different enterprises that are,
1:08:04
have all converged on this one area and they're all going
1:08:08
through different shit. Like some of them like the cards
1:08:11
dead and Riker's taking over. And there's other ones that are
1:08:15
like, no, we're fine. And the other ones are like this
1:08:17
military, like they and I feel like we're just stuck here and
1:08:21
we're like bouncing between these wormholes and these
1:08:23
fucking alternate universes. I don't even.
1:08:27
I mean I I I need. I get it together 'cause I,
1:08:33
yeah. This is why the Onion doesn't
1:08:35
post anymore. Because it can't.
1:08:38
It doesn't. You can't make satire when like
1:08:40
real headlines are like firstly. Satire.
1:08:44
Right. Like you can't you, you, you.
1:08:47
Can't feel like 10 years ago, if you would have said Nicki Minaj
1:08:50
went to the UN and said thank you, Donald Trump.
1:08:54
I would be like, Oh my God, that's so funny, but it's real,
1:08:58
right? Like that does it sounds like a
1:09:01
fucking headline from The Onion. You know, Nicki Minaj said to
1:09:04
you N to blah blah blah. You'd be like, OK, whatever.
1:09:08
Like you're. Like, OK, that's cute.
1:09:11
Yeah. But when I read that, I was
1:09:13
like, Oh no, no, Oh no. Yeah, I, I because you can't
1:09:20
make this shit up. You cannot make this shit up.
1:09:22
I don't even. I'm going to look at the history
1:09:24
books like 1020 years from now and be like.
1:09:27
I'm going to, I, I can't wait to see like as an old man sitting
1:09:30
there and like going like seeing my grandkids bring home like a
1:09:33
history book or whatever. And I'll be like, what are they
1:09:35
saying? And you know.
1:09:37
I'll be like, I remember when that happened thinking, oh, was
1:09:44
it? Is this real?
1:09:46
Yeah, yeah. Speaking of, I can't believe
1:09:51
this happened. Retired trans military folks are
1:09:55
suing dump truck for stopping their retirement payments.
1:09:58
There are about 17 transgender members of the Air Force that
1:10:04
are suing the US government over the military's unlawful
1:10:09
revocation of their early retirement pensions and
1:10:12
benefits. The lawsuit filed on Monday.
1:10:16
A lot of stuff happened on Monday.
1:10:17
Oh, my goodness. Comes several months after the
1:10:21
Air Force confirmed that it would deny all all.
1:10:26
And I want you to know that trans people are like 1% of that
1:10:36
of the military. It just I.
1:10:40
Don't, right? But of that 1%, if you have
1:10:43
served your fucking time, just like any other fucking military.
1:10:48
I don't understand why they're going after a specific group.
1:10:53
Because genitals. That's so weird to me.
1:10:57
They did their time. They don't care, you know, and
1:11:01
they probably transition, but IT support our troops.
1:11:04
Except not like that. Oh my God, so they were denied
1:11:12
We're we're denying all trans service members in the Air Force
1:11:17
at least. I don't know if I need to do
1:11:19
deeper research to see if any other have been affected, but
1:11:24
these people have served between 15 and 18 years.
1:11:28
Yep and they were option to get early retirement and somehow
1:11:35
they got separated. Oh and are not receiving any
1:11:41
benefits even though they technically are.
1:11:44
Saying like we are sacrificing ourselves for your freedom.
1:11:49
Right. And they're suing somebody that
1:11:52
basically is a draft Dodger who never served in anything but
1:11:57
thinks he knows. Better say anything.
1:12:00
Yeah. Got it, Got it.
1:12:05
Got. It right and Speaking of things
1:12:09
we can't believe so Michelle Obama has been releasing video
1:12:16
after video as she's going on book tour for it's a look book
1:12:20
that she's releasing for her different looks as when she was
1:12:25
in the White House with Barack Obama.
1:12:31
First and foremost, I want to say that I almost got in a
1:12:36
Twitter fight because people kept saying things like Jackie O
1:12:47
and I'm like, OK, but, but, but, but, but but she's she can be
1:12:56
there. Michelle Obama could be there.
1:12:59
Like what is the why do people have a problem with a women B
1:13:05
black women? I don't understand.
1:13:07
And that's the. That's it right there.
1:13:09
That's it right there. Yeah.
1:13:11
And like. It'd be one thing if she were
1:13:13
just a woman, but she's not just a woman.
1:13:16
Yeah, it is so, so irritating. But Michelle Obama has been
1:13:21
asked several things on this tour and the one that has stuck
1:13:27
out the most and the media ran with it.
1:13:29
I knew they were going to run with it.
1:13:33
Somebody asked her would she run for president?
1:13:36
And she said, please, please stop asking this question
1:13:42
because you're lying. You all are lying to yourselves
1:13:46
and lying to me. You're not ready for a woman to
1:13:50
be president or to lead this country like no like.
1:13:56
And she said don't waste my time.
1:14:01
If you don't believe me, I'll tell you.
1:14:02
What man, I'll tell you if if she decided to run, I would be
1:14:07
poll first thing. I would be right there.
1:14:09
I'd be like big black marker. I mean Obama like I would.
1:14:15
Yeah. But we've already tried a couple
1:14:20
times and. But we had very.
1:14:23
Harris bit herself, shot herself in the foot.
1:14:25
That Harris fucked herself over. 100% fucked herself over.
1:14:30
But also Michelle Obama clarified for folks that are non
1:14:38
textured, non curly hair, why people of color don't go
1:14:45
swimming or get their hair wet. And she did a very good job,
1:14:51
very good job. I will leave it at that.
1:14:56
And you can go find the video and be educated that.
1:14:59
Way I don't have that problem. Oh, I'm so sorry.
1:15:04
I'm like a seal. I'm just like.
1:15:08
OK so this is interesting. Trump has flipped and is now in
1:15:14
favor of releasing all the Epstein files.
1:15:19
He's also in favor of something else that I read.
1:15:21
And I was like, huh? Like, like as we're getting
1:15:26
ready for the election, you said no, and now what?
1:15:32
So which tells me that they've gone through and scrubbed any
1:15:37
mention of him or someone has promised him immunity or
1:15:41
something. Speaking of the Onion.
1:15:45
But there were many people that were doing this, so I want to
1:15:49
set us up for no surprises. What I think is going to happen
1:15:55
is I think you're going to see like a name and then you're
1:16:00
going to see the whole document. Totally redacted, Completely
1:16:04
redacted or. A.
1:16:07
A certain word will be available and you'll go OK, So what does
1:16:12
that mean? Or it'll be, it'll be like,
1:16:17
it'll be like the blackout, blackout, redacted, redacted,
1:16:20
redacted, redacted, redacted, yes, redacted, redacted,
1:16:25
redacted, redacted, redacted. Like there's you won't know
1:16:27
anything. They will have gone through and
1:16:29
redacted so much of those files that there will be it'll be just
1:16:35
A1 black piece of paper. That's it.
1:16:40
Because there's no. Way, but it'll be on his terms.
1:16:44
There is no way that he is going to let everything be released as
1:16:50
they are. No fucking way, no fucking
1:16:55
guilty. What needs to happen is people
1:16:58
need to start pushing to get the non redacted.
1:17:00
Like I don't give a fuck whose name is in it, take it all the
1:17:03
way. I don't care.
1:17:05
I want to see it. I want I want to see nothing
1:17:07
redacted. I don't want I except for the
1:17:10
survivors of the victims names. Well, they go.
1:17:13
Ahead and. Oh I forgot to put that in here.
1:17:16
They released APSA, they want it released.
1:17:20
Non redacted but. Yeah.
1:17:22
We'll, we'll see what's going on.
1:17:24
Here like it's it's so it's gonna be, yeah, it's gonna be a
1:17:28
mess. It's gonna stupid.
1:17:33
OK, on to health news. Meditation can boost resilience,
1:17:43
pain relief, and stress recovery in a recent study.
1:17:47
Says Buddhism for thousands of years, Yes, and Hinduism.
1:17:52
Now the white for. Thousands of years.
1:17:54
The white people have caught up now.
1:17:56
Stop it, stop it. There's African spirituals too
1:18:03
that have kind of like the same. It's, it's when we get to the
1:18:09
white people, they, they don't they're like busy, busy hustle,
1:18:14
hustle, work, work. So this is where we are anyway,
1:18:21
they in a recent study at the University of California, San
1:18:28
Diego, they observed 20 adults, 20, just 20, just 20.
1:18:33
That's the part that. I that's a that's a good sample.
1:18:36
That's a good sample. If you're gonna if you're gonna
1:18:38
do research, 20 is the number. Yeah, I had to include that
1:18:41
detail 'cause I was going to be like, maybe I'll take it out,
1:18:44
but. Meanwhile, millions of Buddhists
1:18:50
and Hindus around the world are like.
1:18:52
We didn't include them. We did not include them in this
1:18:54
study, people. We did not.
1:18:57
I cannot. I cannot, Oh my God.
1:19:01
But 20 white people say you know that.
1:19:05
You know, the people of color have been doing it for a while
1:19:08
now, but you know, we don't know anything.
1:19:13
Remember we talked about this at the top of the show.
1:19:15
That's true. We don't know anything so can't
1:19:19
do that anyway. So the things that we've known
1:19:23
for years, they released a study.
1:19:29
This I found interesting. Scientists have got their teeth
1:19:33
and a novel material that could revolutionize tooth repair.
1:19:40
Currently, there is no way to regrow enamel.
1:19:44
But. And if you don't know what
1:19:46
enamel is, it's the protective layer of your tooth that keeps
1:19:50
it from decaying. It's like that.
1:19:56
Can I do it? Yeah, that.
1:20:01
But that could be. Changing real soon because
1:20:05
scientists in the UK developed a gel that has shown to repair
1:20:10
enamel. Not like how the cheap little
1:20:12
toothpaste is right, say like we can repair enamel.
1:20:16
Right now, that's it. No, they're slowing down the
1:20:19
decay. That's what they're doing.
1:20:21
But this actually could. It's a protein based gel that
1:20:25
contains A modified version of a protein that acts like.
1:20:30
Can you say that a melogenin? A melogenin, OK, which
1:20:40
encourages the growth of enamel in infants, Yeah.
1:20:47
So almost like stem cells, kind of.
1:20:51
Yeah. That's what I think of it as,
1:20:55
which does that mean that it won't be allowed here because
1:20:58
we're very probably stem cell? Well, it won't be allowed here
1:21:02
because it's beneficial and then would take away from like.
1:21:05
Oh that's right, just like money at non processed foods is not.
1:21:09
Right, 'cause we have to keep, we have to keep funding big
1:21:13
Pharma, we have to keep funding, you know, all the medical
1:21:16
things, because if we cured things like cancer, we'd have no
1:21:19
need for like medical professionals.
1:21:21
But I read and if we like, they're working on a cancer
1:21:23
vaccine. Sure, and if we like, fix our
1:21:28
teeth and we wouldn't have to like have completely pointless
1:21:31
dental insurance and then go spend thousands of the dentists
1:21:34
anyway. Putting sugars in cereals and
1:21:46
things has nothing to do with us, I promise.
1:21:52
I thought this was pretty cool. Vending machines are usually
1:21:56
Speaking of health hazards. Health hazards full with like
1:22:02
sodas, candy bars, things that I love to eat in very wide volume
1:22:08
that you're not supposed to have.
1:22:11
But in downtown Washington, you're greeted by a very
1:22:18
different story. Many different stories, in fact,
1:22:21
all written by local authors and available for purchase in what
1:22:25
is called the Lit Box vending machine, a mere 10 minute walk
1:22:31
from the White House, where banned books are encouraged.
1:22:36
Right where I feel like like the reading fundamentals are lacking
1:22:40
anyway. I don't think he knows how to
1:22:43
read. Lit Box was launched by the
1:22:46
author Lauren Woods in a bid to promote and celebrate smaller
1:22:51
press books that have to contend with the hyper competitive
1:22:55
publishing industry and the current administration's
1:23:00
slashing of federal funding for the arts and cool and promoting
1:23:05
banned books. I don't think he understands
1:23:08
what banned books are, but he promotes that.
1:23:15
So that's my happy news. I hope I fulfilled the.
1:23:20
Record. We tried to keep it.
1:23:21
We tried to keep it a little bit lighter on the news since we
1:23:24
were dealing with more heavy stuff, but.
1:23:29
So Speaking of promoting things, I have drag bingo tomorrow at
1:23:35
Drink Me Tea Room. We have some spots available.
1:23:40
It's the scary Merry Christmas drag bingo.
1:23:44
The funny thing is. Is that hat like photoshopped
1:23:47
because it looks so real? Yeah, I I did that on purpose
1:23:51
because I was like, I did everything else.
1:23:54
And then I was like, oh, I forgot to make it like
1:23:56
Christmassy. You can't make fun of yourself,
1:24:04
might as well just get out of the game anyway.
1:24:06
Hire Felicia for all of your graphic design needs.
1:24:09
I mean, I can stick a hat on anything.
1:24:11
I'm going to stick Freddie up front of a stair case.
1:24:14
I'm going. To do that with the pennies,
1:24:16
just wait. Just wait.
1:24:18
And that's in the middle of clouds that make that are
1:24:21
different colors and or have different shadows and different
1:24:24
places. Don't think I don't notice when
1:24:27
people post Flyers like that, especially the people that ask
1:24:30
me the pricing of mine and then post their own anyway.
1:24:35
So that's tomorrow at 5:30 and then the one after this will be
1:24:42
Winter Wonderland Drag Bingo and that's on the 4th and then you
1:24:47
have. The.
1:24:49
Showdown. Yes, on the 7th, it's a holiday
1:24:54
Bake Off. It's gonna be super fun.
1:24:57
It's an 18 and over event. It's gonna be no alcohol, but we
1:25:00
will have mocktails available and we're going to have some
1:25:05
guest judges. You can either enter a baked
1:25:08
good to be judged or you can pay $5 and you can taste and you can
1:25:14
vote for Taster's Choice. We'll have like, some holiday
1:25:16
themed entertainment. And it's all benefiting Drag
1:25:21
Story Hour at Arizona. So it should be a good time come
1:25:25
out for that. Come get your holiday on.
1:25:28
It should be. It should be.
1:25:30
Oh no, But it should be fun. And if you have questions about
1:25:35
either wanting to enter or anything about the event, go
1:25:38
ahead and reach out and I will answer what I can.
1:25:41
Is this gonna be like the What does that show the Great
1:25:47
British? British breakup?
1:25:49
Yes, absolutely. Will you like tell me and shake
1:25:55
your head? Just walk away and.
1:25:57
I will. I will.
1:26:01
I'm not judging officially. Oh yes, you are.
1:26:05
Officially, oh, I'm not judging. Other people are judging.
1:26:10
Officially, I am not. OK, I feel like you would judge
1:26:15
harshly though. I'm not I.
1:26:19
Would which is why I'm letting other.
1:26:20
People not judge. I'd be out and then on the 11th
1:26:24
of December we have sex trivia at Gracie's taskbar.
1:26:28
It's at 8:00 and the person that put the time on there put the
1:26:33
wrong time, so it's. Terrible.
1:26:35
You're welcome. It's because I wasn't
1:26:37
photoshopping stairs. Anyhow, let's so we book us for
1:26:50
your holiday. Holiday gatherings, your office
1:26:54
parties, our mitzvahs. You know all the things.
1:27:02
We're here for you. We're here.
1:27:04
Send us a message. Let's get ready to say goodbye.
1:27:12
It's never easy. Like this?
1:27:14
Wait, wait, no. Oh, sorry, Ron.
1:27:16
No, Michelle. Oh boy, and you did it without
1:27:29
the words. Wonderful.
1:27:31
That one I know it's some of the other ones that I'm.
1:27:35
Questionable. It's never easy letting go of
1:27:39
someone we love as we try to hold on to their memory or carry
1:27:44
on their legacy. But the common thread between us
1:27:47
all is we are rich in time. The time we spend together, the
1:27:53
time we create memories, the time we work alongside each
1:27:57
other, the feelings we have for one another and the lasting
1:28:01
impression we leave. That's the wealth we have.
1:28:06
We never know when the balance will run out.
1:28:10
When the time comes for our loved ones to leave us, it feels
1:28:13
like they're yanked. We're halted for a moment and
1:28:19
time knows no emotion and keeps moving us forward like gravity
1:28:25
forces us to the ground. We need to be more considerate
1:28:30
of every one affected. Every one.
1:28:37
You never know how someone might be grieving or how suddenly life
1:28:42
can change. It's a rough reminder that
1:28:45
mortality doesn't give notice and it can catch us off guard,
1:28:49
especially when we think we have more time.
1:28:54
We always think we have more time.
1:28:56
We always think we have more time.
1:28:57
We never think that that it's we never, we never think about it.
1:29:01
We always assume we have more time.
1:29:03
Why do you think I'm always late?
1:29:05
Because I always think I have more time.
1:29:12
Take the time to cherish your chosen family, friends and loved
1:29:16
ones. Take photos, send voice
1:29:20
messages, and more importantly, tell them you love them and that
1:29:24
you care while they're still here.
1:29:27
But still don't call me 'cause I'll still ignore and then text
1:29:30
you and be like hey what's going on?
1:29:32
Just just text me. But just text me.
1:29:36
If you call me, then don't call me.
1:29:44
As the doors have opened for the government, we also need to
1:29:50
invest our time and our trans siblings to make sure that they
1:29:55
are supported and able to spend more time with us.
1:30:00
Tomorrow is transgender. I meant to add that to the yeah.
1:30:07
So, but we don't want our more names added to the list of
1:30:11
people that we've lost through violence.
1:30:14
Yikes for folks to live with us, living their lives authentically
1:30:23
instead of trying to prove why they exist, Their need for basic
1:30:29
human rights, respect, or even being remembered only in a
1:30:35
distant memory. Especially during trans
1:30:38
Awareness Week and month, 'cause I keep seeing week but we forgot
1:30:43
about the whole damn month. We still have unsolved crimes,
1:30:51
murders, and everyday discrimination happening against
1:30:54
our trans family. Let's be intentional about
1:30:57
showing up for each other. Not just, I understand like
1:31:06
throwing fundraisers and things, but if we're not like going to
1:31:11
like senators, if we're not going to places where they're
1:31:16
having City Council meetings and deciding if they want to have
1:31:20
trans bathrooms, we're not doing the right things.
1:31:24
We can tell when something is performative like we can tell
1:31:27
when you're jumping on the bandwagon for, you know, trans
1:31:32
day of visibility or trans day of remembrance or whatever it
1:31:34
is. We we can tell when it's not
1:31:37
genuine or authentic so. Also, the next time we take
1:31:42
photos, we need to retake our photo.
1:31:44
Yeah, I need to not. I need to not be in it the way I
1:31:48
was before, 'cause that whatever.
1:31:57
And as we enter the holiday season, no matter what your
1:32:01
beliefs, let's hold close the memories and celebrate the lives
1:32:05
of those we lost this year, carrying their love and
1:32:09
spiritual presence with us until the next year and the years to
1:32:12
come. Invest your time in people who
1:32:16
choose you and the people you choose and return.
1:32:23
I cannot stress how important that is.
1:32:26
Send love, create memories, and give the gift of presents.
1:32:31
Not presents. Presents.
1:32:34
I mean, I'll take both. It's the most.
1:32:39
Have a wish list on Amazon. Oh God.
1:32:43
It's the most valuable thing you can share and with that.
1:32:47
I will say, I will say real quick, the memories is the
1:32:51
biggest thing for me, yes, because when it comes down to
1:32:55
it, that's all we've got. Like photographs will phase,
1:32:59
although like, but take the pictures, take the pictures,
1:33:03
take the stuff is stuff, but it's the memories when you look
1:33:07
at the stuff, when you look at that photo, when you look at
1:33:10
whatever. Don't post the first five years
1:33:12
of my drag career. Those were kind.
1:33:15
Of Oh no, those are very precious memories to me when our
1:33:18
foundation matches like that makes me happy.
1:33:22
But the the memories are, are all we end up being with,
1:33:27
regardless of whatever it is. Like I, I will, you know, I can,
1:33:31
I can look at something and I can be like, oh, OK, I know when
1:33:34
I got that. But again, that's a memory that
1:33:38
is tied to that object. So make those memories.
1:33:42
Absolutely. So with that, thank you for
1:33:46
joining us. I hope that we were able to be a
1:33:52
little light hearted and we will see you next week for your
1:33:58
Wednesday night conversation. Good night.
1:34:01
Night.