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Unmasking Toxic Masculinity with Larry Penton · Groove with Portia

0:06
Welcome to Group of Porsche, the podcast that uncovers the hidden treasures within grief.
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I'm your host, Porsche the Producer, and I'm inviting you to join
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me on a transformative journey where we will exchange laughter, of course, the
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best medicine of them all, reflect on cherished memories, remember that time that
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the little boy grabbed my hand instead of his mother's at the amusement park yikes,
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And of course, discover gratitude while navigating one of the life's hardest challenges,
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loss. So get ready to grow with me, Porsche the Producer,
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let's dive in. Hey, everybody, welcome back to Group of Porsche.
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This episode is streaming live on my Facebook, so if you are tuning in,
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I am actually live. Do not disturb me because I will respond later
0:52
on. So as always, I'm your host and the executive producer, Porsche
0:56
the Producer. Don't forget to like, share and subscribe to keep up with
0:59
the ladiest and greatest of all Group with Porsche. So today I have the
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honor to be joined by my brother from another mother, who is who I
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would call a semi reinvented individual who was on a mission to equip others with
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safety tools for any life circumstance. So welcome back to Group of Porsche.
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Co founder of Penton Pending Consulting Solutions LLC, mister Larry Penton himself. Hey,
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Larry, how are you doing today? We'll call you LP. As
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always, I'm doing great. You know how you know how to do it.
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Any day that I wake up on this side of the dirt, I'm
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still desting to do stuff. So let's go bring it, bring it on
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like Donkey Kong. So as always, you know, I'm grateful to have
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you again be a guest on Group of Porsche, especially because you're the first
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guy that I've had on to really have a deeper dive into what grief looks
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like in our lives. Right, So, LP first starters for our audience
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who's tuning in? Those who know you, They know that you are an
2:00
entrepreneur just like me. Can you share LP with our audience and with me
2:06
how you're navigating the grief that comes with being an entrepreneur? Right, Let's
2:13
be realistic. We change communities when we become an entrepreneur. We're no longer
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surrounded by that plethora of co workers when we are in the corporate space or
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if we have to relocate for our entrepreneurial endeavor to flourish. We don't have
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that sense of community right off the bat, and then not all the time.
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We have the support even from the people in our network. So LP,
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can you share with our audience how you are navigating the grief that comes
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with entrepreneurship. Yes, a multifaceted team approach. Myself, my wife missus
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LP, as everybody calls her, the president of the company, the CFO.
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You know, she's the money and you know we just worked together just
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well. We have tons of conversations about everything from A to Z. She
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helped me start. She's the co founder of Penn and Pending Consultant Solutions LLC.
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I still have a day job, a number of them. I still
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work, you know, a nine to five. I still do stop the
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league trainings across the country. So we have a great network and great partners
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to help when you know there's not consistency in terms of residual income, that's
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a building process. We've been in business since twenty twenty one actually, and
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you know, these last two years have been phenomenal, more than I could
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ever dreamed. I remember going back to August nineteen or twenty nineteen, I
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was featuring the US News and World Reports in this article called Diversity Emergency,
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and it's still online. So if you go to usnews dot com or on
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that site you searched either my name or the name of the article diversity Emergency,
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you will see this article that they featured me in and we talked about
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some of the challenges that's lacking in emergency medicine. I never thought and I
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was active in the field at that time. I was doing fire in MS,
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and I never thought that five years later, not only would I be
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retired from EMS and fire, but I'd actually have my own consultant firm and
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I'd be actually traveling in the country teaching these things. You know, It's
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just a blessing and it keeps me from being down in those times where it's
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like, Okay, I gotta let me search for some more clients, let
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me schedule these classes and stuff, because we're doing them more consistently now.
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But it's it's been a hard struggle, and they can call some depression.
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That can cause some anxiety because it's like, man, am I making the
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right decision, that I do the right thing and retiring. I know I
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retired because of my wife's health issues doing the pandemic, because I was a
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COVID medtic. But when I think about grief, I think about the partnership
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that I have with missus LP, and there's always therapy about you know,
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seek help. My father and I'll talk me a very valuable lesson. He
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says, seek help whenever you need it, you know, LP. I'm
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glad that you reinforce that seeking help, right, because, let's be realistic,
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with you being in the healthcare field, there tends to be a running
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stigma that healthcare professionals are the ones that don't seek help when they're going through
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some type of trying time in their personal life or even in their work life.
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Because let's be realistic, right, as a responder, you're there on
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the scene when anything can break out, and even, let's be realistic,
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probably some of your traumas resurfaced during some of those moments when you have to
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be superman for somebody else. NLP. I want to ask you something I
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know during our last conversation, me and you kind of talked about where you
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had the experience of losing someone close to you within the last month or so,
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and I'm curious LP for you. Have you been navigating that grief journey
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of losing this close friend of yours and how has it also maybe resurfaced some
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of the unresolved grief that you have been dealing with in your own life.
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Wow. I just got a text message from a friend. Name was Tiffany
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Werner. She's a licensed mental health counselor in the state of Florida in the
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Tampa Bay Clearwater area. She died July sixteenth of this year from a massive
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heart attack and some complications that came from that. I got to text a
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message from her husband, her widow today. He was apologizing for not getting
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back in touch with me because I had similar message last week. And you
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know, I met this woman on this app called Clubhouse. I never met
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in person, but I met a last July, but excuse me last June.
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And we not only created a partnership as far as work wise. Since
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I've been on her show, which was called Moments of Clarity with Tiffany,
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we developed a friendship just like you and I have, you know, and
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just like you and I would talk off air, offline about anything, everything,
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all things. She and I had the same report along with her husband
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Old when I got the news, and it's still hard, you know.
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I mean, we're just we're all everybody that knows her and loves her,
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and I'm part of that inner circle that she had, which we're just devastated,
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and you know it, it's not an easy conversation to have. She
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was a person that said her model was ending the stigma on mental health,
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and she always says change can only come when we stand together. It's one
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I want to continue that. That's why I do the work that I do
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as even though I'm retired as a paramedic and a firefighter, ideal a lot
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with mental health related issues in the work that I do, and I tell
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people that as far as first responders go, I just did a podcast on
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my own podcast called Trigger one and Talk Podcasts. We had a conversation about
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how first sponders need help also dealing with post trauma situations. You know.
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We talked about crisis, critical incident stress debriefing, and critical incident stress management.
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This is the process where once you go through a hard call, like
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maybe a kid died in the fire or something like that, or somebody got
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ejected from a car, accident in a car triggering. I'm just flesh and
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blood at the end of the day. Forget the uniform and the badge and
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the certifications and the licenses and the training and the experience. At the end
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of the day, I'm just a person. I got feelings and emotions.
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Gender be damn innicity be damn all of that stuff. I gotta go home
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and Missus LP and she, you know, if I'm on a four day
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and hour fire shift and she's like, hey, how was your day,
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and I'm like, you know, I don't give you the blood and guts,
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but you know it was a it was a hard I'm from Saint Louis,
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Missouri, you know it was. It's considered the murder capital of the
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US, and it's always in the top three for decades. So I experienced
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a lot of trauma on the job. You know what I always told Missus
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LP, I want to go to work, healthy, happy and hole and
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I want to come back home the same way. And I would do everything
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in my power to do so. If I got to take a break,
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if I got to talk to somebody, including you or some professional, if
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I gotta network with my coworkers and get a team effort involved in terms of
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dealing with the grief that we deal with. Because we deal with grief all
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the time. I used to say I walked in blood every single day that
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I was gonna do. Literally, we all as first responders are not one
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selling me. But we're not sideboards, were not robots. We're living,
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breathing organisms, and we have to understand that probably about forty percent of your
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nine when one calls, have a mental health component to them. That's a
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lot of mental health stuff that we don't get a lot of mental health training
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more So, that's part of how I deal with grief is seeking help and
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getting training and getting more resources collectively and talking to other first responders to make
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sure that they are keeping themselves in check and if they're doing everything that they
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can do to deal with these traumatic casts that they get because they can cause
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grief. You know, a p I love what you mentioned, and you
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know, sending my love to Tiffany's family then of course to you. Me
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and Tiffany were Facebook friends and I never got a chance to talk to her
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in person. I kept telling myself to reach out to her, to reach
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out to her, but I never got a chance to, but I could
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tell and when I look through her kind, I'm like, oh my god,
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we have so much in common. And LP what I loved, And
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especially about Tiffany's model of ending the stigma around mental health, I'm curious,
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LP, what will that take to eliminate the stigma that we hold around grief,
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especially because grief has such a heavy negative connotation, especially when it's centered
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around somebody who makes their transition. We have to end the stigmas, the
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taboos, and the stereotypes when it comes to mental health. One of the
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things that I came up with is this quote. I say, mental health
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crisis is the world's oldest continuous pandemic. It's been around since the beginning of
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mankind, and folks, it ain't going nowhere until we deal with the stigmas,
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the taboos, the stereotypes that guilt, the shame, the drama of
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the pain, the judgment, the grief. We are going to continue to
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see grief in very is formats me being the first respondent, even though I'm
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retired, I deal a lot as a consultant. I deal with active shooter
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hostil events or violent critical incidents of coor should I get breaking news stories every
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day when these incidents happened. They're not all about guns, because there could
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be anything like what happened at the Montgomery, Alabama River brawl. I did
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a Facebook post about that the day that it came out, and I got
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the information probably a few minutes after it was posted online. I talked about
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the lack of humanity that we saw in that unfortunate incident. Whether it's what
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happened in Uvaldi, whether it's what happened is Standing Hook, whether it's what
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happened at the Travis Scott concert. We see these stories all the time,
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and it desensitizes us to it because we say, that's not going to happen
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here. Doesn't happen where I live, It doesn't happen in my community,
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it doesn't happen in my neighborhood. I have never experienced that. Personally.
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I say, well, every time you see these breaking news stories, if
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it does not affect you on some level, how is that possible? Because
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again, you're just a person. At the end of the day, this
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is not a video game. We're not looking at something like a game like
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Call of Duty. Word You're just killing aimlessly and all that stuff or whatever.
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And then you get a couple of more lives, or you can put
14:30
in some codes and get infinite lives or something like that. We're talking about
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actual, living, breathing human beings. There's eight billion of us on this
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planet with a beat. If you live to be a million years old portion,
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you will never get a chance to meet every living human being on the
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planet. When it comes to grief, one of the things that I talk
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about all the time is you got to deal with your adverse childhood experience.
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You have to deal with your adult trumps. You have to deal with the
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desensities they desensitization. You have to deal as if you identify as a male,
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you have to deal with the emotional suppression that you were taught as a
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little kid. You know, I told you before, I had some older
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relatives that were males that would gut punch me and call me names and all
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that stuff. That they saw me crying, they taught me it was only
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five reasons that a guy should cry. You had to be falling off a
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multi story building, curse between a couple of cars. Somebody had to be
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dying, dead or dying. You have to have one of loss a major
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sporting event, or maybe you had a bad break up. You know,
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and if you or someone who heard that growing up and you heard that repeatedly
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and you got called sisty or you got called weak or different things like that,
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there was physical contact made because you were sharing, sharing your emotions or
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showing your emotions, that leads a lesson in impression on you. And what
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we're talking about grief. Even in griefing situations, I've seen guys refuse to
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cry, refuse to show emotion, refuse to let themselves be human because they
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feel like, oh, you know, I don't want to appear to be
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weak. I can go on and on and on. Suffices to say that
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it's all about making sure that you are doing what you needed to do to
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live a full life. And part of life, as we were trained,
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is you got to say the words. I can't be like, Hey,
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if I got a call that somebody went in the cardact arrest and I'm the
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leading medic in me and my squad show up and we're working on this page,
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you know, twenty forty sixty minutes and we can't resuscitate that person.
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I got to go to that family member, those loved ones, those caregivers
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and say not, Hey, your loved one just transcended to another dimension.
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No, I have to tell you, I am so sorry that we were
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not able to resuscitate your loved one. Your loved one has died. Here's
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what we believe happen, Here's what we do, what we've done. I
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will have everybody and their mama's sitting right there while we're doing the resuscitative efforts.
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I've had family members, Hey, you want to take two minutes to
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do some CPR because everybody needs a break two minutes if we rotate, you
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know, can you give me this, can you help help us do that
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or whatever? Because I want you to be part of the process. So
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when I have to call time of death, in that grieving moment, you
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know that we worked our butts off to do everything we could do to try
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to resuscitate this person. That's when the grieving process starts. You know,
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there's five stages of grief. You got denial, anger, bargaining, depression,
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and acceptance. Sometimes you're gonna fluctu the way between those. We gotta
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understand those five stages and what they really mean and how do you deal with
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those because at the end of the day. Grief will come when it comes.
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It ain't no time clock, there is no calendar date of it.
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You know, you can prepare as much as you can, you can be
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as hard as you want to be, you can have bosses to tissue by
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you, but you never are prepared until it happens too that part, LP,
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And I love how you reiterated that grief is not linear, right,
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Let's be realistic that. I think oftentimes we believe that we're all going to
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go through the same stages of grief because we saw someone else go through it,
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depending on the circumstance, right, whether it's we lose somebody suddenly,
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or even let's just say we get terminated from a place of employment, right,
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that brings on grief because it was so sudden, especially when you've spent
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so much time in this space, whatever it might be, whether you an
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IT person or an HR or even you know in the healthcare field, right,
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Like, we all go through some type of level of grief. And
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I think the beauty though in grief, LP, is that there's always that
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hidden gift, right, There's always that hidden gift that can spring up through
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our grief journey. And now people before we go on to the next part
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of the conversation. For our audience who's tuning in, if they're interested in
19:45
connecting with you and learning more about you, is there a website or a
19:48
social media handle you can share with us today? I can be contacted fear
19:55
my website which is www dot Penson, Pending, pe N t O N
20:00
p E N d I ng dot com. My IgMs are at LP fire
20:07
medic also at Penting, Underscore, Pending, Underscore CSS and consulting Solutions excellent.
20:15
So those of you who want to connect with LP, you definitely can
20:19
LP. I want to go back to something that you mentioned about men grieving
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right, and I'm curious being a man get along, a man of color,
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how can toxic masculinity be beneficial and also hinder somebody's grief journey and processing.
20:42
I'll start with him. So I love the analogy that my friend Will
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Baptist came over some years ago. He talked about He gave a few examples.
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I added one. He talked about Tyrese Gibson, Will Smith. I
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added Michael Jordan for context. Remember when Tyrese was on his IG live and
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he was talking about the issues he was having with his custody issues with the
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mother of his child, and he was on there and he was really emotional.
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What happened? They made a crime meme out of him. Same thing
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happened with Will Smith talking about pre slap incident when he was on the Red
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Table Talk talking about the entanglement issue. What happened They made a crime eame
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out of him? Michael Jeffrey Jordan. I mean, I'm in Charlotte,
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so you know, Michael Jordan the night that he was being enshrined into the
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NBA Hall of Fame, the greatest night of his professional NBA career. What
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happened? They made a crime name out of me? I said, Now,
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if these famous black men who are rich and wealthy can be made into
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crying names, what do you think they're gonna do with LP If I get
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on social media and I start talking about, you know, the loss of
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my friend Tiffany, or you know, the estrangement that I have in my
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family dynamic or whatever. I don't want to be the butt of somebody's jokes.
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I don't want to be made into a crime name. I don't want
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to be the laughing stock on food. Ever we think about that as guys
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every single time, especially in this social media environment. Toxic masculinity. You
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know what I say about that. I say anything that's toxic, it's toxic.
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It don't matter if it's masculinity. It don't matter if it's a drug
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or substance or whatever it is. Toxic is toxic. I mean, hey,
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do I need to put on a hass mass suit because I want to
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be where's it? Where's the toxicity? I want to be a one hundred
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and eighty degrees away from where it is. So it don't matter to me
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what the source is. I just need to recognize it is what it is.
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As far as positivity, you take those, it's not your fault if
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you don't know. My mom taught me when I was a little boy a
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lot of things, and one of the things that she said, as a
23:19
single parent is everybody's ignorant. We don't know everything. Intentional ignorance is something
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else, because once you don't know something and you've you've been made aware that
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you don't know it, it's not your fault if you don't know. But
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once you've been made aware of that, it's your fault if you don't find
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out retaining it. You know, that's part of the conversation also, but
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it can be a separate part. You know. Doctor Martluther King said there's
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nothing more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity, and I added the intentional
23:59
to that sincere ignorance. I say sincere intentional ignorance because we do some of
24:04
these things all the time when we see them play out on social media,
24:08
and all of these things for males, especially black males, because there's such
24:15
a hatred for the melanin that we possess, there's such a vilification of black
24:25
men. I still go out places and still get prejudice. I still get
24:32
treated with systemic racism. And even when they find out that I'm a former
24:37
first responder, sometimes that's not even good enough. So when we're talking about
24:42
grief and toxicity in masculinity, I say, you have to be maintaining situational
24:52
awareness all the time, not just for safety physically, but you're mental safety
24:59
because us you can implode and do something to yourself, you can explode and
25:06
do something other people and beg My friend causes so much more pain to grief,
25:15
you know, LP what you're hinting on especially being self aware. Right,
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Let's be realistic as a man, especially a black man in a society
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that no matter what, whether you're doing something heroic or villainous, either way,
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the narrative is going to be twisted in some way. Right. And
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one of the things that you're hinting on is anger. Right. There tends
25:42
to be a heavy negative connotation when it comes to anger. But I've learned
25:49
that anger is love and passion combined. An LP for our audience who's tuning
25:56
in whether they're a man and who's currently you know, whether a first responder,
26:02
a professional like you, or a younger man, how can they use
26:07
anger towards action to implement a positive change while they're going through grief. Anger
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is love and passion combined. I would say it can be controlled or uncontrolled
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love and passion combined. Let's deal with the uncontrolled part. This is where
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I get the nine one calls about. You know somebody who lost their job,
26:40
somebody who lost a loved one, somebody who lost their relationship, somebody
26:48
who got their All White Air Force one scuffed accidentally. You know somebody who
26:57
did a rose rate road rage incident? Missus LP, she and I were
27:03
in the car the other day and somebody cut in front of me real quick,
27:10
and you know, I slowed down a little bit and you know,
27:15
just let him go ahead. And she looked at me and because I was
27:18
driving, and she said, she said this word called beats, like the
27:25
vegetable. Because we have safe words. And I told her, if if
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I'm ever kiddnapped and somebody calls you and says that you know they got me
27:34
and they want whatever, and I said, you need to do one approof
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of life too. You need to ask a number of questions to make sure
27:41
it's me that they got me. And I said, when I was in
27:45
EMS, I used to tell my partners, hey, if I say certain
27:48
words that lets you know that it's going down something bad, it's going to
27:52
happen. So one of my safe words was the word beats, because I
27:56
don't like the vegetable or whatever. I said. If I say about if
27:59
I say any thing with the word beats and I'm not talking about the headphones,
28:03
you know it's about to go down, like we need to leave like
28:07
yesterday. So she said beats and I was like, what are you talking
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about? And she was like, I can't believe that you didn't, that
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you didn't do a road rage thing or whatever normally to be cursing the person
28:17
out and all that stuff. I said, you know what, I believe
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that because I'm fifty two now, when my age comes wisdom, and because
28:26
I see such hatred in people losing their crap in driving situations so much that
28:36
end up being these breaking news stories. I've chilled out with my road rage
28:41
a whole lot. So if you know that man must got stuff to do
28:48
that don't go on head. You know, hopefully he doesn't go before me
28:56
and gets involved in an accident. And now I gotta pull over and provide
29:00
medical cared for because every time we go out somewhere, I say a prayer,
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Lord, please let nothing happen where we're going that I got to lay
29:07
hands on somebody, whether it's in a medical situation or in the protective situation.
29:15
Amen. Now that's that's the uncontrolled. The control is part of what
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I just said. Also, you have to maintain control of that anger,
29:29
even if it's about grief, because again you got the five stages of grief
29:34
denial. Anger's number two. You're gonna be mad that this person is not
29:41
around anymore, you're gonna be mad that they got their life got clipped,
29:45
you know. You know, if they were forty years old and they died,
29:48
or they were a baby and they died, or they could be ninety
29:52
years old and you're like, man, I'm not ready for them to go.
29:57
You know, if it with somebody that killed them, if they died
30:02
in an accident. You know, whatever the situation is, you have to
30:07
maintain the system of control of that anger. And it's okay to feel anger
30:11
because that's part of the human emotion and that's part of the human experience.
30:15
In a grief situation, you have to sit there almost sometimes and do a
30:22
woosie. You almost have to sit there and do some form of metaphysical modality,
30:30
whether it's the EFT to tap in, whether it's meditation where you actually
30:36
get out and do some yoga. You might have to contact a metaphysician that
30:41
specializes in raiki or neural linguistic program in NOP or coindic ship behavior therapy for
30:48
people that are dealing with grief and they might be having PTSD or CPTSD.
30:55
You might have to do some EMD or there's so many modalities that are available.
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Just laying on somebody's couse for forty five minutes doing Q and eight it's
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not going to help pretty much embody. So and everybody does not need medicine.
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Medicine has it this place. I'm just saying, there's so many things
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that you can do when anger manifests, especially from a grief situation, that
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you have options. And that's all we're talking about. Put the tools in
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your tool box to deal with what's in front of you, because if you
31:33
don't, I'm going to get another breaking news store that I don't want and
31:37
you don't want that life one hundred percent, LP. And you know,
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you hit on so many of my favorite quotes of number one. There's so
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many tools available to us right in this intentional ignorance, right, you know,
31:55
what is it? The book in nineteen eighty four says ignorance is bliss,
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but a lot of us, you know, I think there's a there's
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a level of fear that comes when grief is present too, because there's this
32:08
fear of yes, I know that there's other things available, but what does
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that look like? Right? And so LP, you know, first and
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foremost, as always, I thank you for coming on and sharing your words
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of wisdom with our listeners. And I just love talking to you anyway,
32:24
because coming from a medics standpoint, and also dealing with your own level of
32:30
grief and providing that personal heart to heart because like I said, men don't
32:36
often talk about what they're going through, and I think what you really hit
32:40
on was being more encouraging to them. Any any whatever stage of life,
32:47
any young man or someone who's your age that might be wrestling with grief of
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some sort and it's manifesting as anger, manifesting as depression, they have a
32:58
way to in a sense, convert that anger, convert those emotions of sadness,
33:04
depression, fear into some actionable way to move forward with their life.
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LP again for our audience who's tuning in, if they want to connect with
33:15
you and learn more about you, please share your website and social media handle
33:19
again. The website is www dot Penton Pending dot com. The IG pages
33:28
that we have My personal page is at LP firemedic and the companies IG pages
33:36
Penton at Penton Underscore Pending, Underscore CS or Consulting Solutions excellent. So everybody
33:45
that was our who I will call our semi reinvented CEO and founder of Penton
33:52
Pending Consulting Solutions LLC, mister Larry Penton himself. That you heard from and
34:00
that concludes this live episode of Grew of Porsche Season number two. Thanks for
34:06
listening, Peace and hair Grease. Everybody, Peace and Harris lp out.
34:14
Thank you so much for tuning in to Grow of Porsche. Remember to subscribe
34:17
to my channel for the latest episodes, and of course follow me on social
34:22
media. Can follow me on Instagram at Porsche the Producer Anyway, guys,
34:27
until we meet again, Peace and hair Grease,