Latest / High Level Wife Podcast with Chelsey Holm / Do It Anyway: When Obedience Doesn’t Make Sense to Everyone Else

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Do It Anyway: When Obedience Doesn’t Make Sense to Everyone Else · High Level Wife Podcast with Chelsey Holm

• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the High Level Wife Podcast.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Chelsea Holm, your hostess, and here we do marriage God's way.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to challenge you today to do it anyway.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because if when you actually start living like a disciple of Jesus, there are going to be people who do not understand you.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Probably Christian people, probably your friends, probably your family, probably people who genuinely love you because surrender looks strange in a culture built around itself.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And count on your hands, probably one hand, how many high-level marriages do you actually rub shoulders with every day?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's not common, it's not normal.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe even your husband is one of these people that are not going to understand it.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: He's not going to understand, potentially, depending on your situation, right?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: He may actually be the one moving first.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: But if that's not the case, then your obedience might not make sense to him.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because dying to yourself looks strange.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Forgiving when you have every worldly reason to hold on to the offense looks strange.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Refusing to keep score looks strange.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: We live in a world of this joke of husbands sleeping on the couch, husbands in the doghouse, right?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: We have this cultural root and mentality of keeping score.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Honoring your husband when culture tells you to criticize him.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: That looks weird, man.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Looks weird, right?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Choosing biblical submission when the world tells you submission is weakness.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Go on and get some looks, all right?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And probably more than that.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: But fighting for your marriage when everyone else is telling you what you deserve looks strange.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: But do it anyway.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Do it, do it, do it anyway.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'ma do it.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'ma do it.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'ma do it.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do it anyway.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of the songs I have on my playlist when I work out.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, it's Jesus' song.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: You should get some gangster Jesus music, okay?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: For your workouts.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's awesome.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, following Jesus was never supposed to look normal.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: We know that.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Romans 12, 2 tells us to not be conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: So think about that for a second.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: What that actually means.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you're no longer conforming, you're going to look different, right?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Think for a second about Plato, right?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like you put Plato in a mold, it's going to take whatever shape that mold is.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now imagine taking a rock and putting it in that same form.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Is that rock going to take on the form of that plastic mold?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: We stand on the rock.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: We are rooted and grounded in Christ.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: We are not to take on the look of this world.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: If your life makes perfect sense according to the values of the world around you, are you actually living differently?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus didn't call us to slightly modify the world's ways.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: He called us to follow him and leave everything behind.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: To not turn back to the plow, to not turn back to go bury your dead family member, to not go back and to tie up loose ends.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Luke 9 23 says, If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Deny yourself daily, follow.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's discipleship.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And there will be moments when obedience costs you comfort.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Think of Paul.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Paul was in prison for most of his ministry life.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: You think he was comfortable?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like our cushy prisons today where you get three meals a day and you get a workout and watch TV and even get paid.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Paul was in a dinky, stingy, dirty, dark, damp dungeon in chains, where the only way that he ate, the only way that his needs were met is if outside people ministered to him.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: He wouldn't coffee.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: People may not understand the new you, especially if they're they're accustomed to the old you.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna make them real uncomfortable real fast.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not your responsibility.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: All right, the wife who vented about her husband or rehearsed offenses or needed everyone to evaluate her or controlled the outcomes and kept receipts, constantly analyzed him and needed people to agree with her.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, if you then suddenly say, I'm not talking about my husband like that anymore, I'm dealing with my own heart first, I'm choosing forgiveness, I'm going to pray instead of control.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to obey what scripture says, even though this is uncomfortable.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Someone might say, Why would you do that?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're letting him off the hook.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: You need to put yourself first.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: That seems extreme.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: They don't have to understand your obedience in order for you to obey.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Remember Noah?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: He was building a boat for like a year, right?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: It hadn't rained.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: It hadn't rained at that point.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Water came up from the earth, it had never rained from the sky.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do you understand how crazy he must have looked to everybody?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: So be careful who gets a vote.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Galatians 1:10.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Paul asks, Am I now seeking the approval of man or of God?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a heart check.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: That should be a heart check that we submit ourselves to every single day in every single thing that we do.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Counsel matters.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Wise community matters.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Proverbs repeatedly teaches us the value of wise counsel and also the danger of foolish counsel.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Counsel must still come underneath God's word, though, right?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: When we are struggling or we have a question, or you know, like there's like a big thing that we have to make a decision on, we should not be going to Google or our friends first.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Or in these days, chat GPT, please don't do that.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, go to God first and then wait for Him to give you direction and an answer.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then once you know you're like kind of it, right?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now reach out to the godly mentors and counselors who who have evidence of fruit being produced in and through their lives.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: That matters because a lot of people out there are pretenders, okay?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Need to see the fruit.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Friends don't get to rewrite scripture, and your family doesn't get to determine your obedience, right?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Instagram doesn't get a vote.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Culture doesn't get a vote, okay?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: They're not living your life.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, you don't get a say.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Christ is Lord, Jesus Christ is Lord of my life.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: No one else is.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus Christ is Lord of my life, okay?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: But then, okay, I want to kind of step back just a little bit.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, just a little bit.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like, like take an E, if you will, just for a second here, because sometimes then comes that tinge of doubt, right?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Where you're kind of looking around, and this is where the battle gets sneaky.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because maybe you've started, right?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're surrendering, you're trying to walk differently, you're taking your thoughts captive, you're fasting, you're praying, you're controlling your tongue, right?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're allowing the Holy Spirit to work in and through you.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: You're laying down old patterns, and it's hard, right?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Your flesh, your flesh is loud, loud, whiny baby.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Very, very persuasive many times, right?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's a danger in agreeing with ourselves and allowing ourselves to be deceived by ourselves, okay?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: You don't immediately see fruit.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then comes that tiny thought.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Is this really worth it?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm looking around and I'm seeing people eating whatever they want.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm seeing people watching all the shows they want.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm seeing people go on all these vacations and live in these fancy homes, and their kids are all successful in these sports, and you know, I'm seeing all these things, and right, and so then I'm kind of looking back at my situation and I'm like, is anything actually changing?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I still doing all of this?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: It was easier before.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe this doesn't work.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Pay attention because your flesh loves comfort, the world loves conformity, and Satan loves lies, right?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Just so small distortions of the truth.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, of course, we know we know in our thinker that no, God's way is better.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is why we need to be in community and seeing other people who have paved the way for us and given us the example.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was Tommy and Diane for us, right?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's um Katie and Jeremy for me.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like we do things side by side now, like, okay, virtually, because they're in Dallas and we're here, right?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: And like there are others that like they've paved the way of what's possible, right?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was able to pave the way because Tommy and Diane paved the way, I was able to do that for Katie and Jeremy, and they have like launched, like they're just oh my gosh, just like awesome.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like people need to imitate their marriage, like it's just amazing.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but if we're not surrounded by people like that, it's really easy to start thinking that, oh, well, the old way, at least I knew it, right?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's how our brain works.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: We love the known discomfort that we're familiar with rather than the unknown potential discomfort or the unknown discomfort without knowing what to expect, right?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because you haven't done it yet, so you don't have the receipts yet, but they're coming.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Israel heard this same lie.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Numbers 14.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: God had already delivered Israel from Egypt, right?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: They had watched God Almighty send the plagues and split the Red Sea and destroy Pharaoh's army to provide manna and water, and then they see the giants, and suddenly we can't, and then worse, they want to go back to Egypt.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Slavery started looking attractive because obedience looked difficult.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Comfort can make captivity look better than conquest.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I want to sit on that.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Comfort can make captivity look better than conquest.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: The wilderness was hard, the giants were real, but God had already demonstrated I am able.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: So stop measuring God by the giant.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is where we get everything backwards.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: We we look at the addiction or the diagnosis, the broken heart, the hardened heart, the impossible circumstances, and then decide how hopeful we're allowed to be based on the size of the problem.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Excuse me, ma'am.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: No, measure the giant against God, right?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: You tell me your marriage problems, and I will tell you how big my God is and what he is capable of doing, and the transformation he is able to do and to make.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Jeremiah 32, 27 tells us, Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Is anything too hard for me?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Anything?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Look at what our God does.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Scripture is filled with impossibilities.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: The Red Sea, God makes a road.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Barren womb, God gives life.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Jericho, balls fall, right?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't even like attack the walls, like they just marched around and then played their trumpets, right?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, lion's den, mouth shut.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: They were hungry.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Fiery furnace, God walks through it with them.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Lazarus, come out, he did.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Thousands hungry, multiplies food.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Storm, peace, be still.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Sin, cross, death, empty tomb.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Christian, impossible is not a category that intimidates God.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: With God, all things are possible, and he still transforms people.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Second Corinthians 5:17 says if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: God changes appetites, he breaks bondage, he destroys strongholds, he transforms thinking, softens hearts, he restores relationships, he heals according to his wisdom and purposes.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know what's going to happen one second from now, okay?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can maybe think based on the situation that you've experienced multiple times, but you have no idea.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody does, okay?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: But God does.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: God does things human effort cannot manufacture.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: The gospel itself is a transformation story.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: And some of you listening have your own receipts, right?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Things you couldn't stop doing until God changed you, things you couldn't forgive until God softened you.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Patterns you thought were just who I am until God transformed you.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Remember your testimony.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: We walk from victory.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: First Corinthians 15, 57 says, Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: We are not here trying to earn Christ's victory.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus already defeated sin and death.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: The resurrection already happened.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: He walked out of that grave, my friend.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Our identity is already secure in him.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: So obedience isn't maybe if I work hard enough, God will finally win.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Or thinking, well, I'm not doing so well, so God must be disappointed in me.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, Christ has won.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: And now I obey from belonging to the victorious King.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus Christ is Lord of my life.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: John 16, 33, Jesus says, In the world you will have tribulation.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's your promise that this won't always be comfortable.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, it'll be very uncomfortable.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: All the disciples, except for John, were killed, martyred in horrible ways.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: But then Jesus says, But take heart.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: I have overcome the world.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Both are true.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: It will be hard, and he has overcome.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendigo give us the posture.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Daniel 3:17 through 18.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: This right here, this is the balance.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Our God, whom we serve, is able to deliver us.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: But if not, we still will not bow.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's faith.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: My God can.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: I believe He is able.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: I will ask boldly.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: I will expectantly pray.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: I will believe for transformation.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, in Jesus' own hometown, he couldn't do very many miracles there because of the unbelief.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but my obedience isn't dependent upon getting my preferred outcome.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Even if not, I will not bow.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's surrendered confidence.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, Christian wife, you need some holy tenacity, girlfriend.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Tender doesn't mean fragile.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Surrender does not mean passive.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Submission to God doesn't mean weak.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes surrender actually looks like planting your feet and saying, I will obey God even if nobody understands.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I will forgive.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I will honor.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: I will pray.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: I will fast.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: I will stop controlling.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: I will stop rehearsing offenses.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: I will stop conforming to the world's definition of marriage.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: I will keep building.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: I will believe God is who he says he is.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I will not crawl back to Egypt because the promised land has giants.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Take a breath here.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: All right, go study this.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Read Numbers 13 through 14 in Daniel 3, 8 through 30.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then ask the following questions.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Where has difficulty made old captivity look attractive?
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I looking for human approval before obeying God?
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: What giant have I accidentally made bigger than God?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: What problem am I looking at rather than telling my problem to look at God?
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I tempted to ask, is this even worth it?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: What would I do today if I truly believed God is able, even while surrendering the outcome completely to Him?
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: People may not, I would say, people are just not going to understand.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And your flesh is going to scream.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: The world is going to tell you you're crazy.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: And the enemy is going to whisper this isn't working, but do it anyway.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Do it.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do it.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'ma do it.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'ma do it anyway.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Not because you're guaranteed the exact outcome you've imagined.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because Jesus is Lord, because He is faithful, because He is able, because the tomb is empty.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're not walking towards some hypothetical victory, hoping Jesus will eventually pull it off.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're walking from the victory.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Christ has already won.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: That serpent's head has been crushed.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: And now God continues to crush that serpent's head under our heel.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: So when that doubt comes, is this really worth it?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: Remember who your God is.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: My God can.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: My God is able.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: My God is good.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: My God wants to.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: And whether I see the outcome today, tomorrow, or eternity, I will not bow.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I will obey.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: I will keep walking.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Tender enough to surrender, tenacious enough to obey when it's hard.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And taking back territory the enemy convinced you was impossible to reclaim.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you on the next episode.