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How Do I Set Money Boundaries Without Guilt? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 0:37
  Your
• 0:37
  phone
• 0:38
  buzzes
• 0:39
  and
• 0:39
  you
• 0:39
  already
• 0:40
  know
• 0:40
  what
• 0:40
  it's
• 0:40
  about.
• 0:42
  Your
• 0:42
  chest
• 0:42
  tightens
• 0:43
  before
• 0:43
  you
• 0:43
  even
• 0:43
  open
• 0:44
  it
• 0:44
  up.
• 0:45
  Yeah,
• 0:46
  you
• 0:46
  love
• 0:46
  them,
• 0:47
  but
• 0:47
  you
• 0:48
  feel
• 0:48
  that
• 0:48
  pressure.
• 0:50
  Let
• 0:50
  me
• 0:51
  ask
• 0:51
  you
• 0:51
  this.
• 0:52
  Do
• 0:52
  you
• 0:52
  have
• 0:52
  a
• 0:53
  hard
• 0:53
  time
• 0:53
  telling
• 0:53
  people
• 0:53
  no?
• 0:55
  Is
• 0:56
  the
• 0:56
  idea
• 0:56
  of
• 0:56
  setting
• 0:57
  boundaries
• 0:57
  just
• 0:57
  make
• 0:58
  you
• 0:58
  feel
• 0:58
  completely
• 0:59
  uneasy?
• 1:00
  Some
• 1:01
  of
• 1:01
  the
• 1:01
  most
• 1:01
  expensive
• 1:02
  words
• 1:02
  in
• 1:02
  your
• 1:02
  life
• 1:03
  might
• 1:03
  be.
• 1:04
  Sure.
• 1:05
  Okay,
• 1:06
  I'll
• 1:06
  figure
• 1:06
  it
• 1:07
  out.
• 1:08
  You
• 1:09
  say
• 1:09
  yes
• 1:10
  while
• 1:11
  your
• 1:11
  stomach
• 1:11
  tightens.
• 1:13
  You
• 1:13
  say
• 1:13
  yes
• 1:14
  while
• 1:14
  your
• 1:14
  budget
• 1:14
  breaks.
• 1:15
  And
• 1:15
  you
• 1:15
  say
• 1:15
  yes
• 1:16
  while
• 1:16
  resentment
• 1:17
  quietly
• 1:17
  grows.
• 1:19
  And
• 1:19
  then
• 1:20
  you
• 1:20
  feel
• 1:20
  guilty
• 1:20
  for
• 1:20
  even
• 1:21
  wanting
• 1:21
  to
• 1:21
  say
• 1:22
  no.
• 1:24
  Friend,
• 1:24
  if
• 1:24
  you're
• 1:24
  exhausted
• 1:25
  from
• 1:25
  funding
• 1:26
  everyone
• 1:26
  else's
• 1:26
  life
• 1:27
  while
• 1:27
  yours
• 1:27
  feels
• 1:28
  fragile.
• 1:29
  Today's
• 1:29
  about
• 1:30
  freedom,
• 1:31
  not
• 1:31
  selfishness.
• 1:54
  Hey,
• 1:54
  friend.
• 1:54
  Ralph
• 1:55
  Estep
• 1:55
  Jr.
• 1:56
  Here.
• 1:56
  This
• 1:56
  is
• 1:57
  financially
• 1:57
  confident
• 1:58
  Christian.
• 1:59
  My
• 1:59
  goal
• 1:59
  in
• 1:59
  this
• 2:00
  show
• 2:00
  is
• 2:00
  to
• 2:00
  help
• 2:00
  you
• 2:00
  break
• 2:00
  that
• 2:01
  cycle
• 2:01
  of
• 2:01
  financial
• 2:02
  shame
• 2:02
  and
• 2:02
  truly
• 2:03
  live
• 2:03
  with
• 2:03
  confidence.
• 2:05
  And
• 2:05
  today's
• 2:06
  topic
• 2:06
  is
• 2:06
  all
• 2:06
  about
• 2:07
  confidence.
• 2:08
  It's
• 2:09
  how
• 2:09
  to
• 2:09
  set
• 2:09
  those
• 2:09
  money
• 2:10
  boundaries
• 2:10
  without
• 2:11
  feeling
• 2:11
  guilty.
• 2:13
  Well,
• 2:13
  let's
• 2:13
  get
• 2:14
  right
• 2:14
  into
• 2:14
  today's
• 2:14
  listener
• 2:15
  question.
• 2:17
  Ralph.
• 2:18
  I
• 2:18
  keep
• 2:18
  saying
• 2:18
  yes
• 2:19
  to
• 2:19
  everyone.
• 2:20
  Lending
• 2:21
  money,
• 2:22
  covering
• 2:22
  bills,
• 2:23
  even
• 2:24
  buying
• 2:24
  things
• 2:24
  I
• 2:24
  can't
• 2:25
  afford
• 2:26
  because
• 2:26
  I'm
• 2:26
  terrified
• 2:27
  of
• 2:27
  letting
• 2:27
  people
• 2:28
  down.
• 2:29
  But
• 2:29
  now
• 2:29
  I'm
• 2:30
  burned
• 2:30
  out,
• 2:30
  and
• 2:30
  honestly,
• 2:31
  I'm
• 2:31
  resentful,
• 2:33
  and
• 2:33
  I
• 2:33
  can't
• 2:33
  keep
• 2:33
  doing
• 2:34
  this.
• 2:35
  How
• 2:36
  do
• 2:36
  I
• 2:36
  actually
• 2:36
  say
• 2:37
  no
• 2:37
  without
• 2:37
  ruining
• 2:38
  my
• 2:38
  relationships?
• 2:40
  I
• 2:40
  need
• 2:40
  boundaries
• 2:41
  that
• 2:41
  don't
• 2:41
  make
• 2:41
  me
• 2:42
  feel
• 2:42
  like
• 2:42
  I'm
• 2:42
  abandoning
• 2:43
  the
• 2:43
  people
• 2:44
  I
• 2:44
  love.
• 2:48
  That
• 2:48
  one's
• 2:49
  heavy.
• 2:49
  Is
• 2:49
  it?
• 2:51
  I
• 2:51
  think
• 2:51
  all
• 2:52
  of
• 2:52
  us
• 2:52
  have
• 2:52
  probably
• 2:52
  been
• 2:52
  in
• 2:53
  that
• 2:53
  position.
• 2:55
  So
• 2:55
  I
• 2:55
  want
• 2:55
  to
• 2:55
  just
• 2:56
  reassure
• 2:56
  you
• 2:56
  with
• 2:56
  something
• 2:57
  right
• 2:57
  now.
• 2:57
  Boundaries
• 2:58
  are
• 2:58
  not
• 2:59
  rejection.
• 3:01
  So
• 3:01
  many
• 3:01
  people
• 3:01
  think
• 3:01
  a
• 3:02
  boundary.
• 3:02
  I'm
• 3:02
  just
• 3:02
  telling
• 3:03
  them
• 3:03
  no.
• 3:03
  No.
• 3:04
  Boundaries
• 3:04
  are
• 3:04
  there
• 3:05
  for
• 3:05
  your
• 3:05
  protection.
• 3:07
  I'll
• 3:07
  tell
• 3:08
  you
• 3:08
  about
• 3:08
  a
• 3:08
  story.
• 3:08
  I
• 3:08
  have
• 3:08
  a
• 3:09
  client,
• 3:10
  and
• 3:10
  she
• 3:10
  comes
• 3:11
  to
• 3:11
  see
• 3:11
  me
• 3:11
  every
• 3:11
  year
• 3:12
  to
• 3:12
  get
• 3:12
  her
• 3:12
  taxes
• 3:12
  done.
• 3:13
  And
• 3:14
  the
• 3:14
  thing
• 3:14
  that
• 3:14
  really
• 3:14
  bothers
• 3:15
  me
• 3:15
  about
• 3:15
  her,
• 3:15
  she's
• 3:16
  got
• 3:16
  an
• 3:16
  adult
• 3:16
  son
• 3:18
  that
• 3:18
  she's
• 3:19
  still
• 3:19
  supporting.
• 3:21
  And
• 3:21
  this
• 3:21
  poor
• 3:21
  lady
• 3:22
  is
• 3:22
  still
• 3:22
  working
• 3:23
  because
• 3:23
  she
• 3:23
  honestly
• 3:23
  can't
• 3:24
  afford
• 3:24
  to
• 3:24
  retire.
• 3:26
  She's
• 3:26
  so
• 3:26
  focused.
• 3:27
  And
• 3:27
  I
• 3:27
  get
• 3:27
  it.
• 3:28
  She
• 3:28
  loves
• 3:28
  her
• 3:28
  son,
• 3:30
  but
• 3:31
  she
• 3:31
  can't
• 3:31
  afford
• 3:31
  to
• 3:31
  take
• 3:32
  care
• 3:32
  of
• 3:32
  herself
• 3:34
  because
• 3:35
  he
• 3:35
  refuses
• 3:36
  to
• 3:36
  work.
• 3:39
  And
• 3:39
  maybe
• 3:39
  right
• 3:39
  now
• 3:40
  you're
• 3:40
  feeling
• 3:40
  that
• 3:40
  same
• 3:41
  kind
• 3:41
  of
• 3:41
  pressure.
• 3:43
  So
• 3:43
  today
• 3:43
  we're
• 3:44
  going
• 3:44
  to
• 3:44
  talk
• 3:44
  about
• 3:44
  how
• 3:45
  do
• 3:45
  you
• 3:45
  create
• 3:45
  those
• 3:45
  boundaries
• 3:46
  for
• 3:46
  yourself
• 3:48
  and
• 3:48
  break
• 3:49
  this
• 3:49
  feeling
• 3:49
  of
• 3:49
  constant
• 3:50
  guilt?
• 3:52
  The
• 3:52
  first
• 3:53
  thing
• 3:53
  you've
• 3:53
  got
• 3:53
  to
• 3:53
  do,
• 3:55
  you've
• 3:55
  got
• 3:55
  to
• 3:55
  separate
• 3:56
  generosity
• 3:57
  from
• 3:57
  obligation.
• 3:59
  So
• 3:59
  many
• 3:59
  people
• 4:00
  get
• 4:00
  stuck
• 4:00
  here.
• 4:02
  There
• 4:02
  is
• 4:02
  a
• 4:02
  difference.
• 4:04
  Generosity
• 4:05
  is
• 4:05
  a
• 4:05
  choice.
• 4:07
  You
• 4:07
  choose
• 4:07
  to
• 4:08
  be
• 4:08
  generous.
• 4:09
  You
• 4:09
  choose
• 4:10
  to
• 4:10
  give
• 4:11
  somebody
• 4:11
  something.
• 4:13
  But
• 4:13
  obligation
• 4:14
  for
• 4:14
  so
• 4:15
  many
• 4:15
  of
• 4:15
  us,
• 4:16
  as
• 4:16
  soon
• 4:16
  as
• 4:16
  we
• 4:16
  hear
• 4:17
  that
• 4:17
  word,
• 4:18
  it
• 4:18
  just
• 4:18
  feels
• 4:19
  like
• 4:19
  pressure.
• 4:21
  Pressure
• 4:22
  that
• 4:22
  I
• 4:22
  feel
• 4:22
  obligated.
• 4:25
  If
• 4:25
  you
• 4:25
  give
• 4:25
  because
• 4:26
  you
• 4:26
  want
• 4:26
  to
• 4:26
  bless
• 4:27
  someone,
• 4:28
  that's
• 4:29
  healthy,
• 4:30
  that's
• 4:30
  generosity.
• 4:33
  But
• 4:33
  if
• 4:33
  you
• 4:33
  give
• 4:33
  because
• 4:34
  you're
• 4:34
  afraid
• 4:34
  of
• 4:34
  conflict,
• 4:35
  or
• 4:35
  maybe
• 4:36
  you're
• 4:36
  afraid
• 4:36
  of
• 4:37
  rejection,
• 4:38
  that's
• 4:39
  fear,
• 4:40
  that's
• 4:41
  obligation.
• 4:42
  What
• 4:42
  does
• 4:42
  the
• 4:42
  scripture
• 4:43
  tell
• 4:43
  us?
• 4:43
  It
• 4:43
  says
• 4:44
  God
• 4:44
  loves
• 4:45
  cheerful
• 4:45
  giving.
• 4:48
  He
• 4:48
  never
• 4:48
  commanded
• 4:49
  anxious
• 4:50
  giving.
• 4:52
  And
• 4:53
  you're
• 4:53
  probably
• 4:53
  saying,
• 4:53
  great,
• 4:53
  Ralph,
• 4:54
  sounds
• 4:54
  good.
• 4:54
  But
• 4:55
  how
• 4:55
  do
• 4:55
  I
• 4:55
  get
• 4:55
  to
• 4:55
  this
• 4:56
  point?
• 4:56
  Well,
• 4:56
  you've
• 4:56
  got
• 4:56
  to
• 4:57
  decide
• 4:57
  your
• 4:57
  yes
• 4:58
  in
• 4:58
  advance.
• 5:00
  This
• 5:00
  is
• 5:00
  where
• 5:00
  we
• 5:00
  really
• 5:01
  lean
• 5:01
  into
• 5:01
  boundaries.
• 5:03
  And
• 5:03
  the
• 5:03
  truth
• 5:03
  is,
• 5:04
  what
• 5:04
  I
• 5:04
  have
• 5:04
  found
• 5:04
  in
• 5:04
  my
• 5:05
  own
• 5:05
  life,
• 5:06
  boundaries
• 5:06
  are
• 5:07
  so
• 5:07
  much
• 5:07
  easier
• 5:08
  when
• 5:08
  they're
• 5:08
  pre
• 5:09
  decided.
• 5:10
  When
• 5:10
  you
• 5:11
  have
• 5:11
  a
• 5:11
  plan,
• 5:12
  for
• 5:12
  example,
• 5:13
  I
• 5:13
  love
• 5:13
  this
• 5:14
  boundary.
• 5:14
  I've
• 5:15
  had
• 5:15
  many
• 5:15
  clients
• 5:15
  that
• 5:16
  have
• 5:16
  done
• 5:16
  this,
• 5:16
  many
• 5:16
  friends
• 5:16
  who
• 5:17
  have
• 5:17
  done
• 5:17
  this.
• 5:17
  They
• 5:17
  say
• 5:18
  to
• 5:18
  me,
• 5:18
  ralph,
• 5:18
  every
• 5:18
  year
• 5:19
  in
• 5:19
  January,
• 5:20
  I
• 5:20
  write
• 5:20
  down
• 5:21
  on
• 5:21
  a
• 5:21
  piece
• 5:21
  of
• 5:21
  paper,
• 5:22
  I
• 5:22
  can
• 5:22
  lend
• 5:23
  up
• 5:23
  to
• 5:23
  X
• 5:23
  amount
• 5:24
  of
• 5:24
  dollars
• 5:24
  per
• 5:25
  year.
• 5:25
  Now
• 5:26
  I
• 5:26
  gotta
• 5:26
  be
• 5:26
  honest
• 5:26
  with
• 5:26
  you,
• 5:27
  I
• 5:27
  don't
• 5:27
  like
• 5:27
  the
• 5:27
  idea
• 5:28
  of
• 5:28
  lending.
• 5:28
  I
• 5:29
  think
• 5:29
  if
• 5:29
  you're
• 5:29
  lending
• 5:30
  to
• 5:30
  somebody,
• 5:30
  you're
• 5:31
  a
• 5:31
  bank,
• 5:32
  I
• 5:32
  think
• 5:32
  it's
• 5:32
  better
• 5:33
  to
• 5:33
  just
• 5:33
  give
• 5:33
  them
• 5:33
  something
• 5:34
  so
• 5:35
  maybe
• 5:35
  you
• 5:35
  change
• 5:35
  it
• 5:35
  for
• 5:36
  you.
• 5:36
  You
• 5:36
  say,
• 5:36
  I
• 5:36
  can
• 5:37
  give
• 5:37
  up
• 5:37
  to
• 5:37
  X
• 5:38
  number
• 5:38
  of
• 5:38
  dollars
• 5:38
  per
• 5:38
  year.
• 5:39
  That's
• 5:39
  your
• 5:39
  internal,
• 5:40
  your
• 5:40
  internal
• 5:41
  charitable
• 5:41
  organization.
• 5:43
  Maybe
• 5:43
  you
• 5:43
  say
• 5:44
  things
• 5:44
  like
• 5:44
  this,
• 5:44
  listen,
• 5:45
  I
• 5:45
  don't
• 5:45
  lend
• 5:45
  money,
• 5:45
  but
• 5:46
  I
• 5:46
  can
• 5:46
  sure
• 5:46
  help
• 5:46
  you
• 5:47
  with
• 5:47
  groceries.
• 5:48
  I'm
• 5:49
  not
• 5:49
  going
• 5:49
  to
• 5:49
  co
• 5:49
  sign
• 5:50
  for
• 5:50
  your
• 5:50
  loan.
• 5:51
  I
• 5:51
  can
• 5:52
  help
• 5:52
  you
• 5:52
  buy
• 5:52
  some
• 5:52
  food.
• 5:53
  I
• 5:53
  can
• 5:53
  help
• 5:53
  you
• 5:54
  find
• 5:54
  a
• 5:54
  place
• 5:54
  to
• 5:54
  stay
• 5:55
  for
• 5:55
  a
• 5:55
  night
• 5:55
  or
• 5:55
  two.
• 5:57
  And
• 5:57
  when
• 5:57
  you
• 5:57
  decide
• 5:58
  that
• 5:58
  ahead
• 5:58
  of
• 5:58
  time,
• 5:59
  you
• 5:59
  don't
• 6:00
  have
• 6:00
  to
• 6:00
  negotiate
• 6:01
  under
• 6:01
  pressure.
• 6:02
  Because
• 6:03
  that's
• 6:03
  the
• 6:03
  problem.
• 6:03
  We
• 6:04
  find
• 6:04
  ourselves
• 6:04
  under
• 6:05
  pressure.
• 6:05
  So
• 6:05
  many
• 6:06
  times
• 6:06
  somebody
• 6:07
  puts
• 6:07
  us
• 6:07
  on
• 6:07
  the
• 6:07
  spot.
• 6:09
  And
• 6:09
  those
• 6:10
  pre
• 6:10
  decisions,
• 6:12
  they
• 6:12
  just
• 6:12
  reduce
• 6:13
  that
• 6:13
  guilt.
• 6:15
  But
• 6:15
  when
• 6:15
  you
• 6:15
  do
• 6:16
  find
• 6:16
  yourself
• 6:16
  in
• 6:17
  that
• 6:17
  position,
• 6:18
  you
• 6:19
  got
• 6:19
  to
• 6:19
  use
• 6:19
  calm,
• 6:20
  clear
• 6:20
  language.
• 6:22
  You
• 6:22
  don't
• 6:23
  need
• 6:23
  to
• 6:23
  create
• 6:23
  a
• 6:23
  speech.
• 6:25
  I'm
• 6:25
  not
• 6:25
  by
• 6:25
  any
• 6:25
  means
• 6:26
  suggesting
• 6:26
  you
• 6:26
  have
• 6:27
  this
• 6:27
  preamble
• 6:28
  of
• 6:28
  how
• 6:28
  you're
• 6:28
  going
• 6:28
  to
• 6:28
  handle
• 6:29
  that.
• 6:30
  But
• 6:30
  try
• 6:30
  some
• 6:30
  things
• 6:31
  that.
• 6:31
  And
• 6:31
  maybe
• 6:31
  you
• 6:31
  write
• 6:32
  these
• 6:32
  down.
• 6:32
  I
• 6:32
  think
• 6:32
  that's
• 6:32
  healthy.
• 6:33
  Maybe
• 6:33
  say
• 6:34
  some
• 6:34
  things
• 6:34
  like,
• 6:34
  I'm
• 6:35
  not
• 6:35
  able
• 6:35
  to
• 6:35
  do
• 6:36
  that
• 6:36
  right
• 6:36
  now.
• 6:38
  You're
• 6:38
  not
• 6:38
  telling
• 6:38
  them
• 6:39
  you're
• 6:39
  never
• 6:39
  going
• 6:39
  to
• 6:39
  do
• 6:39
  it.
• 6:39
  You're
• 6:39
  just
• 6:40
  saying,
• 6:40
  listen,
• 6:40
  to
• 6:40
  be
• 6:40
  honest
• 6:40
  with
• 6:41
  you,
• 6:41
  I
• 6:41
  can't
• 6:41
  do
• 6:41
  that
• 6:41
  right
• 6:42
  now.
• 6:43
  Or
• 6:43
  maybe
• 6:44
  you
• 6:44
  say
• 6:44
  something
• 6:44
  like,
• 6:45
  that's
• 6:45
  not
• 6:45
  something
• 6:45
  I
• 6:46
  can
• 6:46
  commit
• 6:46
  to.
• 6:47
  Many
• 6:47
  times
• 6:48
  have
• 6:48
  we
• 6:48
  over
• 6:48
  committed
• 6:49
  ourselves
• 6:49
  because
• 6:49
  we
• 6:50
  felt
• 6:50
  like
• 6:50
  we
• 6:50
  were
• 6:50
  under
• 6:51
  Pressure.
• 6:52
  It's
• 6:52
  okay
• 6:53
  to
• 6:53
  say,
• 6:53
  listen,
• 6:54
  I
• 6:54
  can't
• 6:54
  do
• 6:54
  that
• 6:55
  right
• 6:55
  now.
• 6:55
  I
• 6:55
  don't
• 6:55
  have
• 6:56
  the
• 6:56
  bandwidth
• 6:56
  for
• 6:56
  that.
• 6:58
  You
• 6:59
  know,
• 6:59
  there
• 6:59
  are
• 6:59
  times
• 6:59
  when
• 6:59
  you
• 7:00
  just
• 7:00
  got
• 7:00
  to
• 7:00
  say,
• 7:00
  somebody,
• 7:01
  I
• 7:01
  care
• 7:01
  about
• 7:02
  you,
• 7:03
  but
• 7:03
  I
• 7:03
  can't
• 7:03
  help
• 7:04
  financially.
• 7:07
  You
• 7:07
  notice
• 7:07
  what's
• 7:08
  missing
• 7:08
  there?
• 7:09
  Not
• 7:10
  one
• 7:10
  time
• 7:10
  did
• 7:10
  I
• 7:10
  over
• 7:11
  explain
• 7:11
  it.
• 7:12
  I
• 7:12
  didn't
• 7:13
  talk
• 7:13
  about
• 7:13
  my
• 7:13
  budget.
• 7:14
  I
• 7:14
  didn't
• 7:14
  talk
• 7:14
  about
• 7:14
  any
• 7:15
  of
• 7:15
  those
• 7:15
  things.
• 7:15
  You
• 7:15
  don't
• 7:15
  owe
• 7:16
  them
• 7:16
  an
• 7:16
  explanation.
• 7:18
  Because
• 7:18
  what
• 7:18
  I
• 7:18
  have
• 7:18
  found
• 7:19
  is
• 7:19
  the
• 7:19
  more
• 7:19
  you
• 7:20
  justify
• 7:20
  this,
• 7:21
  the
• 7:21
  more
• 7:22
  you
• 7:22
  invite
• 7:22
  debate.
• 7:23
  And
• 7:24
  when
• 7:24
  you
• 7:24
  invite
• 7:24
  debate,
• 7:25
  they're
• 7:26
  going
• 7:26
  to
• 7:26
  make
• 7:26
  you
• 7:26
  feel
• 7:26
  guilty,
• 7:27
  they're
• 7:27
  going
• 7:27
  to
• 7:27
  make
• 7:28
  you
• 7:28
  feel
• 7:28
  pressured,
• 7:28
  and
• 7:29
  they're
• 7:29
  going
• 7:29
  to
• 7:29
  make
• 7:29
  you
• 7:29
  feel
• 7:30
  fear.
• 7:32
  Just
• 7:32
  keep
• 7:32
  it
• 7:32
  kind,
• 7:33
  keep
• 7:34
  it
• 7:34
  clear
• 7:35
  and
• 7:36
  keep
• 7:36
  it
• 7:36
  short
• 7:36
  because
• 7:36
  you're
• 7:37
  protecting
• 7:37
  yourself.
• 7:39
  But
• 7:39
  with
• 7:40
  all
• 7:40
  that
• 7:40
  said,
• 7:41
  you
• 7:41
  gotta
• 7:42
  expect
• 7:42
  some
• 7:42
  discomfort.
• 7:44
  Especially
• 7:45
  if
• 7:45
  you've
• 7:45
  been
• 7:45
  doing
• 7:45
  this
• 7:46
  for
• 7:46
  a
• 7:46
  while.
• 7:47
  It's
• 7:47
  not
• 7:47
  gonna
• 7:48
  be
• 7:48
  a
• 7:48
  disaster.
• 7:48
  But
• 7:49
  yes,
• 7:49
  it
• 7:49
  might
• 7:49
  be
• 7:49
  a
• 7:50
  little
• 7:50
  uncomfortable
• 7:50
  at
• 7:51
  first.
• 7:52
  Saying
• 7:53
  no
• 7:53
  may
• 7:53
  feel
• 7:54
  uncomfortable
• 7:54
  for
• 7:54
  you,
• 7:56
  but
• 7:56
  that
• 7:56
  discomfort
• 7:57
  is
• 7:57
  not
• 7:57
  cruelty.
• 7:59
  And
• 8:00
  yes,
• 8:00
  sometimes
• 8:01
  a
• 8:01
  relationship
• 8:01
  shifts.
• 8:03
  You
• 8:03
  might
• 8:03
  have
• 8:03
  somebody
• 8:04
  doesn't
• 8:04
  want
• 8:04
  to
• 8:04
  talk
• 8:04
  to
• 8:04
  you
• 8:04
  anymore,
• 8:05
  okay?
• 8:07
  But
• 8:07
  if
• 8:07
  it's
• 8:07
  truly
• 8:08
  a
• 8:08
  healthy
• 8:08
  relationship,
• 8:10
  it's
• 8:10
  going
• 8:10
  to
• 8:10
  survive
• 8:11
  these
• 8:11
  boundaries,
• 8:13
  those
• 8:13
  unhealthy
• 8:14
  ones,
• 8:14
  they
• 8:15
  depend
• 8:15
  on
• 8:15
  those
• 8:16
  access
• 8:16
  to
• 8:16
  you
• 8:17
  and
• 8:17
  your
• 8:17
  worst
• 8:17
  moments.
• 8:19
  And
• 8:19
  that's
• 8:20
  important
• 8:20
  information
• 8:22
  because
• 8:22
  you
• 8:22
  got
• 8:22
  to
• 8:23
  remember
• 8:23
  what
• 8:23
  you're
• 8:23
  actually
• 8:24
  protecting.
• 8:26
  And
• 8:26
  this
• 8:27
  might
• 8:27
  sound
• 8:27
  a
• 8:27
  little
• 8:27
  bit
• 8:28
  sort
• 8:28
  of
• 8:28
  unusual
• 8:29
  for
• 8:29
  me
• 8:29
  to
• 8:29
  say,
• 8:29
  but
• 8:30
  you
• 8:30
  got
• 8:30
  to
• 8:30
  protect
• 8:30
  yourself.
• 8:32
  When
• 8:32
  you
• 8:32
  set
• 8:33
  healthy
• 8:34
  money
• 8:34
  boundaries,
• 8:36
  you're
• 8:36
  not
• 8:37
  just
• 8:37
  protecting
• 8:37
  yourself,
• 8:39
  you're
• 8:39
  protecting
• 8:40
  your
• 8:40
  marriage.
• 8:41
  I
• 8:41
  don't
• 8:41
  know
• 8:41
  how
• 8:41
  many
• 8:41
  times
• 8:42
  I've
• 8:42
  seen
• 8:42
  partners
• 8:43
  in
• 8:43
  a
• 8:43
  marriage
• 8:44
  have
• 8:44
  a
• 8:44
  battle
• 8:45
  because
• 8:45
  this
• 8:46
  one
• 8:46
  was
• 8:46
  helping
• 8:46
  out
• 8:47
  this
• 8:47
  one,
• 8:47
  or
• 8:47
  this
• 8:47
  one
• 8:48
  was
• 8:48
  helping
• 8:48
  out
• 8:48
  this
• 8:48
  one.
• 8:48
  Happens
• 8:49
  with
• 8:49
  children
• 8:49
  all
• 8:50
  the
• 8:50
  time.
• 8:51
  You're
• 8:52
  protecting
• 8:52
  that
• 8:52
  with
• 8:52
  boundaries.
• 8:54
  You're
• 8:54
  protecting
• 8:55
  your
• 8:55
  peace.
• 8:55
  Your
• 8:56
  peace
• 8:56
  matters.
• 8:57
  You
• 8:58
  got
• 8:58
  to
• 8:58
  live
• 8:58
  in
• 8:58
  peace.
• 8:59
  You're
• 9:00
  protecting
• 9:00
  your
• 9:00
  savings.
• 9:02
  You
• 9:03
  work
• 9:03
  so
• 9:03
  hard
• 9:03
  to
• 9:04
  build
• 9:04
  up
• 9:04
  that
• 9:04
  savings.
• 9:05
  Don't
• 9:05
  give
• 9:05
  it
• 9:05
  to
• 9:06
  somebody
• 9:06
  who
• 9:06
  doesn't
• 9:07
  need
• 9:07
  it.
• 9:07
  You
• 9:07
  need
• 9:08
  your
• 9:08
  savings
• 9:08
  and
• 9:09
  you're
• 9:09
  protecting
• 9:09
  your
• 9:10
  future.
• 9:12
  And
• 9:12
  when
• 9:12
  you
• 9:12
  can
• 9:13
  do
• 9:13
  all
• 9:13
  of
• 9:13
  those
• 9:13
  things,
• 9:15
  you're
• 9:15
  actually
• 9:16
  protecting
• 9:16
  your
• 9:16
  ability
• 9:17
  to
• 9:17
  give
• 9:17
  wisely
• 9:18
  later.
• 9:20
  Because
• 9:20
  you're
• 9:20
  protecting
• 9:21
  you
• 9:22
  and
• 9:22
  you've
• 9:23
  got
• 9:23
  to
• 9:23
  protect
• 9:23
  you.
• 9:25
  Burnout
• 9:26
  doesn't
• 9:26
  make
• 9:26
  you
• 9:27
  generous,
• 9:28
  stability
• 9:29
  does.
• 9:31
  Because
• 9:31
  good
• 9:31
  boundaries
• 9:32
  today
• 9:33
  create
• 9:34
  massive
• 9:34
  generosity
• 9:35
  tomorrow.
• 9:37
  So
• 9:37
  let
• 9:37
  me
• 9:38
  leave
• 9:38
  you
• 9:38
  with
• 9:38
  this.
• 9:39
  You
• 9:40
  can
• 9:40
  love
• 9:40
  people
• 9:41
  without
• 9:42
  funding
• 9:42
  everything.
• 9:45
  Here's
• 9:45
  your
• 9:45
  win
• 9:45
  for
• 9:45
  today.
• 9:46
  I
• 9:47
  want
• 9:47
  you
• 9:47
  to
• 9:47
  write
• 9:47
  one
• 9:48
  boundary
• 9:48
  sentence
• 9:49
  today.
• 9:49
  And
• 9:50
  then
• 9:50
  I
• 9:50
  want
• 9:50
  you
• 9:50
  to
• 9:50
  practice
• 9:51
  saying
• 9:51
  it
• 9:51
  out
• 9:51
  loud
• 9:52
  to
• 9:52
  yourself.
• 9:53
  For
• 9:53
  example,
• 9:54
  I
• 9:54
  love
• 9:54
  this
• 9:55
  one.
• 9:56
  I
• 9:56
  care
• 9:56
  about
• 9:56
  you,
• 9:58
  but
• 9:58
  I
• 9:58
  can't
• 9:58
  help
• 9:59
  financially
• 9:59
  right
• 10:00
  now.
• 10:01
  Yes,
• 10:02
  I
• 10:02
  care
• 10:02
  about
• 10:02
  you,
• 10:04
  but
• 10:04
  I
• 10:04
  can't
• 10:05
  help
• 10:05
  financially
• 10:06
  right
• 10:06
  now.
• 10:06
  See
• 10:07
  it
• 10:07
  calmly,
• 10:08
  but
• 10:08
  see
• 10:09
  it
• 10:09
  confidently
• 10:11
  and
• 10:11
  let
• 10:11
  it
• 10:11
  become
• 10:11
  natural.
• 10:13
  Let's
• 10:14
  get
• 10:14
  right
• 10:14
  into
• 10:14
  today's
• 10:15
  Bible
• 10:15
  verse.
• 10:15
  It
• 10:15
  comes
• 10:16
  to
• 10:16
  us
• 10:16
  from
• 10:16
  the
• 10:16
  book
• 10:16
  of
• 10:16
  Proverbs,
• 10:17
  chapter
• 10:17
  4,
• 10:18
  verse
• 10:18
  23.
• 10:20
  Above
• 10:21
  all
• 10:21
  else,
• 10:22
  guard
• 10:22
  your
• 10:23
  heart
• 10:24
  for
• 10:24
  everything
• 10:25
  you
• 10:25
  do
• 10:25
  flows
• 10:26
  from
• 10:26
  it.
• 10:28
  So
• 10:28
  what
• 10:28
  is
• 10:28
  scripture
• 10:29
  telling
• 10:29
  us
• 10:29
  today?
• 10:31
  It
• 10:31
  tells
• 10:31
  us
• 10:31
  that
• 10:31
  guarding
• 10:32
  your
• 10:32
  heart
• 10:32
  includes
• 10:33
  protecting
• 10:33
  your
• 10:33
  financial
• 10:34
  peace.
• 10:36
  One
• 10:36
  of
• 10:36
  the
• 10:36
  things
• 10:36
  you
• 10:36
  mentioned
• 10:37
  in
• 10:37
  your
• 10:37
  question
• 10:37
  today
• 10:38
  was
• 10:38
  resentment.
• 10:40
  When
• 10:40
  you
• 10:40
  guard
• 10:40
  your
• 10:41
  financial
• 10:41
  peace,
• 10:43
  resentment
• 10:43
  doesn't
• 10:44
  grow
• 10:44
  and
• 10:44
  it
• 10:45
  doesn't
• 10:45
  replace
• 10:45
  love.
• 10:47
  How
• 10:47
  about
• 10:47
  we
• 10:47
  pray
• 10:48
  together,
• 10:49
  Father?
• 10:50
  God,
• 10:51
  you
• 10:51
  see
• 10:51
  how
• 10:52
  hard
• 10:52
  it
• 10:52
  is
• 10:52
  to
• 10:52
  say
• 10:52
  no.
• 10:54
  You
• 10:54
  see
• 10:54
  the
• 10:55
  fear
• 10:55
  of
• 10:55
  disappointing
• 10:56
  people,
• 10:57
  the
• 10:57
  fear
• 10:57
  of
• 10:58
  conflict
• 10:58
  and
• 10:58
  that
• 10:59
  fear
• 10:59
  of
• 10:59
  being
• 10:59
  misunderstood.
• 11:01
  So
• 11:02
  Lord,
• 11:02
  right
• 11:02
  now
• 11:02
  I
• 11:02
  ask
• 11:02
  that
• 11:03
  you
• 11:03
  would
• 11:03
  give
• 11:03
  my
• 11:03
  friend
• 11:04
  courage.
• 11:05
  Lord,
• 11:06
  help
• 11:06
  them
• 11:06
  to
• 11:06
  guard
• 11:06
  their
• 11:07
  heart.
• 11:08
  Help
• 11:08
  them
• 11:08
  to
• 11:08
  guard
• 11:09
  their
• 11:09
  peace.
• 11:10
  Help
• 11:10
  them
• 11:10
  to
• 11:11
  guard
• 11:11
  their
• 11:11
  stability,
• 11:12
  Lord.
• 11:12
  Help
• 11:12
  them
• 11:12
  to
• 11:12
  guard
• 11:13
  their
• 11:13
  future.
• 11:14
  And
• 11:15
  teach
• 11:15
  them
• 11:15
  to
• 11:15
  give
• 11:16
  from
• 11:16
  wisdom,
• 11:17
  not
• 11:18
  from
• 11:18
  pressure.
• 11:19
  And
• 11:19
  let
• 11:20
  their
• 11:20
  boundaries
• 11:20
  be
• 11:20
  rooted
• 11:21
  in
• 11:21
  love
• 11:21
  and
• 11:22
  not
• 11:22
  pride.
• 11:23
  And
• 11:24
  Lord,
• 11:24
  strengthen
• 11:25
  their
• 11:25
  relationships
• 11:26
  through
• 11:26
  honesty
• 11:27
  and
• 11:27
  through
• 11:28
  clarity.
• 11:29
  And
• 11:29
  we
• 11:29
  ask
• 11:30
  this
• 11:30
  in
• 11:30
  Jesus
• 11:30
  name.
• 11:32
  Amen,
• 11:34
  friend.
• 11:35
  Boundaries
• 11:35
  don't
• 11:36
  break
• 11:36
  love,
• 11:37
  they
• 11:38
  actually
• 11:38
  protect
• 11:38
  it.
• 11:40
  And
• 11:40
  if
• 11:40
  you've
• 11:40
  got
• 11:40
  a
• 11:41
  question
• 11:41
  for
• 11:41
  the
• 11:41
  show,
• 11:41
  I
• 11:42
  would
• 11:42
  love
• 11:42
  to
• 11:42
  hear
• 11:42
  from
• 11:42
  you.
• 11:43
  Go
• 11:43
  to
• 11:43
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question
• 11:47
  we'll
• 11:47
  put
• 11:47
  that
• 11:47
  in
• 11:48
  the
• 11:48
  show
• 11:48
  notes,
• 11:48
  but
• 11:48
  again,
• 11:49
  it's
• 11:49
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question
• 11:53
  thank
• 11:53
  you
• 11:54
  so
• 11:54
  much
• 11:54
  for
• 11:54
  joining
• 11:55
  me
• 11:55
  today.
• 11:55
  Stay
• 11:56
  financially
• 11:56
  savvy.
• 11:57
  May
• 11:57
  God
• 11:57
  bless
• 11:58
  you
• 11:58
  and
• 11:58
  you
• 11:59
  have
• 11:59
  a
• 11:59
  great
• 11:59
  day
• 11:59
  today.