Latest / The Living Waters Podcast / Ep. 204 - How to Find Freedom From Bitterness

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Ep. 204 - How to Find Freedom From Bitterness · The Living Waters Podcast

1:05
Emeal Zwayne: You know, ray?
1:05
Emeal Zwayne: I'm curious to know this because I think honestly, sometimes I forget the fact that you are often criticized in the sense that you're a public figure.
1:15
Emeal Zwayne: Millions have seen you through the videos and all the different stuff that we put out as a ministry.
1:20
Emeal Zwayne: But you're often getting criticized, whether it's by atheists we have the banana man thing or it's people that accuse you falsely of heinous things.
1:28
Emeal Zwayne: There's that potential to become bitter.
1:31
Emeal Zwayne: How do you deal with it?
1:32
Emeal Zwayne: I delete them.
1:33
Emeal Zwayne: Have you rubbed out?
1:35
Emeal Zwayne: That's nice to have that option.
1:37
Ray Comfort: I get great joy when I see a comment something really nasty on the YouTube channel by saying oh thanks for sharing your thoughts.
1:43
Ray Comfort: Please do watch.
1:44
Ray Comfort: I hope your day's going well.
1:46
Ray Comfort: God bless you, ray Comfort, and they come back with oh same to you.
1:49
Ray Comfort: I hope your day's going well too, and it makes me laugh how you can use love to touch people's hearts.
1:54
Ray Comfort: But just digressing a little, I don't think anything convinces me how deeply ingrained we are in a spiritual battle as to when you've got the potential to become bitter, because Satan will come back at you and keep bringing that memory back, bringing your thing up Forgiven, I've forgotten, I've forgetting and back it comes again and again, and so you can't stop it.
2:12
Ray Comfort: And that brings us to 2 Corinthians 2, verses 11-12, which I'm sure you know.
2:15
Ray Comfort: For indeed, if I have forgiven anything, if I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven the one that, for your sakes, in the presence of Christ least Satan should take advantage of us, for we're not ignorant of his devices and if anything will steal your joy and your peace and your love and your kindness, it's a root of bitterness, it's a device of the devil and you've got to cut it off of the root.
2:41
Emeal Zwayne: Frogging, frogging, frogging.
2:42
Emeal Zwayne: We're going to go frogging and we are going to eat hot chicken with a hee-hee.
2:48
Ray Comfort: That sounds like the beginning of Roh-hide.
2:51
Ray Comfort: Remember Roh-hide.
2:53
Emeal Zwayne: Roh-drange.
2:53
Emeal Zwayne: I never watched Despicable Stuff like that.
2:57
Emeal Zwayne: Is that a show?
2:58
Ray Comfort: Does that look like the theme of Roh-hide On the old black and white telly.
3:01
Emeal Zwayne: Oh wait wait, wait, oh no no, no, no, yeah, eastwoods first Rolling, rolling, rolling.
3:06
Emeal Zwayne: Roh-hide, did I steal that?
3:09
Ray Comfort: too.
3:09
Ray Comfort: Yes, you did.
3:11
Emeal Zwayne: Oh boy, that was wonderful, Ray.
3:13
Emeal Zwayne: We've talked about this before on the podcast.
3:16
Ray Comfort: It's a highlight of my life, and I'm not kidding.
3:18
Emeal Zwayne: But I want to dive deep into it today.
3:20
Oscar Navarro: For those, of you, friends, let's jump into it.
3:22
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, you like that.
3:22
Emeal Zwayne: That's a good little plan, ray.
3:26
Emeal Zwayne: I want to go frogging.
3:27
Emeal Zwayne: So Rachel.
3:31
Emeal Zwayne: Rachel has fond memory.
3:33
Emeal Zwayne: Why do you look depressed, ray?
3:34
Ray Comfort: It's nothing to do with me, it's all to do with you, seriously you looked so dejected.
3:44
Emeal Zwayne: Okay so Rachel's always talked about this frogging thing.
3:46
Emeal Zwayne: Some have heard about it on other episodes, but for those who haven't, what's?
3:50
Ray Comfort: frogging, greg.
3:50
Ray Comfort: We had a woods or a forest behind our house.
3:54
Ray Comfort: That was about a mile into it.
3:55
Ray Comfort: We found this really nice pond and it had frogs in it and when I saw it I thought money.
4:02
Emeal Zwayne: Because you can take it.
4:03
Emeal Zwayne: You saw green in the top one.
4:05
Ray Comfort: You can take tadpoles home, grow them into frogs, sell them to kids, because they're like machines that hop around and then wind them up Don't put batteries in them.
4:11
Ray Comfort: So we sold a lot of money in those days.
4:13
Ray Comfort: We'd sell frogs for two bucks each and it gave the kids spending money to come to the US.
4:18
Emeal Zwayne: I forgot there was a filthy lucre component.
4:20
Ray Comfort: Yes, there was a filthy lucre component.
4:22
Mark Spence: Did you eat them?
4:24
Ray Comfort: We'd never eat frogs.
4:25
Oscar Navarro: Frogs are really cute they taste delicious too, by the way.
4:28
Ray Comfort: The plague of frogs to me is heaven.
4:30
Ray Comfort: I couldn't be any better than these frogs falling from there.
4:33
Emeal Zwayne: So you see them as pets and wouldn't eat pets, right, ray?
4:35
Emeal Zwayne: What's that?
4:36
Emeal Zwayne: You see them as pets and you wouldn't eat pets.
4:38
Emeal Zwayne: You would never have frogs legs, you're leading up to something you surreptitious Arab.
4:46
Ray Comfort: How did you know?
4:46
Ray Comfort: No wonder there's wars in the Middle East.
4:50
Emeal Zwayne: Chicken right.
4:51
Emeal Zwayne: You ate chickens right, yes, but they're not pets.
4:53
Ray Comfort: I wouldn't eat our own chickens.
4:54
Ray Comfort: Chicken's nice.
4:55
Ray Comfort: Of course you should, no.
4:57
Emeal Zwayne: Starving to death on the break of.
4:59
Emeal Zwayne: Oh, I would kill them and eat them.
5:00
Oscar Navarro: I'd feed my family.
5:01
Ray Comfort: Definitely.
5:02
Ray Comfort: I'd say come here, sweetie.
5:03
Oscar Navarro: When we had chickens, I tried to convince my family to let me feed them cayenne for a few weeks before we slaughtered them.
5:10
Mark Spence: Like a live marinade.
5:12
Oscar Navarro: They weren't having it, though.
5:13
Oscar Navarro: That's really good.
5:14
Ray Comfort: So you still got chickens.
5:16
Oscar Navarro: Nah, we ate them.
5:18
Emeal Zwayne: No more spolingel.
5:19
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, ray, so you did this.
5:22
Emeal Zwayne: You used to go in the water.
5:25
Ray Comfort: I would go up to my neck.
5:26
Ray Comfort: Much the kids.
5:27
Ray Comfort: They were very interested in how I did it.
5:29
Ray Comfort: I'd go up to my neck with a net and catch the frogs Tremendously challenging, because frogs are brilliant.
5:37
Ray Comfort: You would catch the frogs or tadpoles, frogs and tadpoles.
5:41
Ray Comfort: Oh well, I got a net and put it on a rope and threw this net out the middle of the pond and pulled it in and got to be like 100 tadpoles at once.
5:47
Ray Comfort: Seriously, seriously.
5:49
Ray Comfort: So why did you still go in?
5:50
Ray Comfort: Oh, to hit the frogs, because frogs are really subtle.
5:53
Ray Comfort: Oh, you've got the tadpoles with that You've never seen anyone do a 10-point dive like a frog.
5:58
Ray Comfort: They are incredible.
5:59
Ray Comfort: There's no splash, they just dive in and you don't hit them.
6:01
Ray Comfort: It's pretty amazing, it's absolutely amazing.
6:04
Emeal Zwayne: You know what blows my mind is arithmetic simple.
6:08
Emeal Zwayne: One plus one.
6:11
Emeal Zwayne: No, there are some violent frogs, some violent frogs.
6:18
Ray Comfort: Yeah, yeah, wait what they hang around in gangs, yeah.
6:22
Mark Spence: How did they start the first tagging group in your ballin?
6:24
Mark Spence: Oh wait, no, that was you Teenage.
6:25
Emeal Zwayne: Ninja frogs?
6:26
Emeal Zwayne: No, no.
6:29
Emeal Zwayne: Have you guys seen that there's this one YouTube channel that will put different animals in a box together and they put frogs in with, like centipedes and tarantulas?
6:40
Emeal Zwayne: Oh no, frogs are tremendous at eating stuff, scorpions and they're eating like these.
6:45
Emeal Zwayne: That's awesome.
6:46
Emeal Zwayne: You wouldn't imagine a frog eating a scorpion.
6:49
Ray Comfort: Yeah, they've got these incredible tongues with sticky stuff on them.
6:51
Ray Comfort: They come out like 90 miles an hour, about four feet almost, and just grab it and pull it back.
6:56
Ray Comfort: And they used to catch butterflies.
6:58
Emeal Zwayne: With your tongue.
6:59
Ray Comfort: No, white butterflies, White butterflies, and put them in a cage.
7:02
Ray Comfort: And I'm serious, it's so fascinating.
7:04
Ray Comfort: A frog would turn around like a tank Aim and then dive in the air and take the butterfly in mid-air in its mouth.
7:12
Emeal Zwayne: It's so fascinating Did you single out white butterflies?
7:15
Emeal Zwayne: Because they're privileged.
7:16
Ray Comfort: White butterflies.
7:18
Emeal Zwayne: White butterflies eat your vegetables, so they're nasty.
7:21
Emeal Zwayne: Wait, wait, why white butterflies?
7:24
Ray Comfort: Because they eat your vegetables.
7:25
Ray Comfort: They lay eggs and the grubs come out and eat your vegetables.
7:29
Ray Comfort: Other butterflies don't do that.
7:30
Ray Comfort: The white ones are just nasty, Wow right, I never knew you to be a racist.
7:35
Mark Spence: Frogs eat whatever bugs them.
7:37
Oscar Navarro: Oh, is that original.
7:40
Mark Spence: No, I just read it.
7:41
Emeal Zwayne: Oscar, I got to give it to you, that picture you sent us.
7:44
Emeal Zwayne: That's pretty good.
7:46
Emeal Zwayne: Bed bugs, bed bugs, little bug cards For our listeners.
7:52
Oscar Navarro: I found a picture and it was a text thread and it was like.
7:55
Oscar Navarro: The first question was like from the wife how's your work trip going?
7:59
Oscar Navarro: In the second, the response from the husband was something in the effect of it's going pretty good, but I have bed bugs in my bed and he sends a picture of toy.
8:08
Emeal Zwayne: Volkswagen bugs.
8:09
Emeal Zwayne: Now why would a wife never do that to her husband?
8:12
Emeal Zwayne: I'm saying what's that Rye?
8:16
Emeal Zwayne: You remember that?
8:17
Ray Comfort: Oh yes, it's just wonderful.
8:19
Ray Comfort: And wait, but was it a frog?
8:21
Ray Comfort: It's a frog holding the neck of some big bird who's trying to swallow it.
8:25
Ray Comfort: He's got the neck of the bird in its hands, so it can't swallow the frog and it says never give up.
8:31
Emeal Zwayne: That's probably based on.
8:32
Emeal Zwayne: I saw a video of some animal that was about to be eaten and it struggled and got loose.
8:37
Ray Comfort: It did, but it didn't put its hands around the throat of the thing.
8:40
Oscar Navarro: That's true.
8:40
Oscar Navarro: I had three terrible things happen yesterday.
8:46
Oscar Navarro: That's actually six Only yeah three, six, and then I was at the gym and I dropped a weight on my phone.
8:54
Emeal Zwayne: No, oh, you did too.
8:56
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, look at this oh he's got a punchline.
8:59
Emeal Zwayne: No, that's no, it's got a heavy call from someone.
9:05
Oscar Navarro: No, I literally dropped a weight on my phone and it's cracked.
9:08
Oscar Navarro: And look at its bent on both sides.
9:10
Ray Comfort: So what came out of your heart when that happened?
9:12
Ray Comfort: Did you say praise the Lord, praise the Lord because my phone is evil.
9:18
Oscar Navarro: The second thing is on my way home from the gym, after breaking my phone, my car broke down.
9:23
Oscar Navarro: Oh Seriously, yes, it's in the shop right now.
9:26
Ray Comfort: I had a borrow a friend, so things happen in threes if you yeah.
9:28
Oscar Navarro: So the third thing is and this is actually kind of a bummer I this one's a bummer, but the other sure not I.
9:36
Oscar Navarro: Was responsible for proof texting, which, if you know me that I'm the wrong person to proof text.
9:44
Emeal Zwayne: Uh amen.
9:45
Oscar Navarro: I was responsible for proof text.
9:47
Oscar Navarro: Sting a family member's gravestone and there was no and there was an error on it.
9:51
Oscar Navarro: No this is a joke.
9:52
Oscar Navarro: Come on, it got printed.
9:52
Oscar Navarro: This is top.
9:54
Oscar Navarro: They called me and they're like you've made a great mistake.
9:59
Ray Comfort: That was a big build up.
10:01
Emeal Zwayne: You're such a doofus, okay, but first of all let me just say your phone right there, total, what happened to your phone?
10:10
Emeal Zwayne: Total byproduct of pride.
10:13
Emeal Zwayne: Pride because you're too prideful to get a.
10:15
Emeal Zwayne: Oh.
10:16
Oscar Navarro: The way would have smashed that.
10:17
Oscar Navarro: No, it would not.
10:19
Oscar Navarro: You got a screen cover bro.
10:22
Ray Comfort: You got an iPhone, he's got something else.
10:23
Emeal Zwayne: No, he's got an iPhone, but he didn't get a guy broke phone.
10:26
Emeal Zwayne: Oh, but if it was face down and the weight was on, it wouldn't have destroyed it.
10:31
Emeal Zwayne: I mean, if it was in the locker room the weight wouldn't destroy anyway you deserve it.
10:35
Mark Spence: You know we took a toll the other day at our house.
10:36
Mark Spence: We have 45 Apple products inside of our house To Samsung.
10:41
Mark Spence: Both of the Samsung ones are broken in there in a drawer 45 mark.
10:46
Emeal Zwayne: That's sinful bro.
10:47
Mark Spence: It's crazy.
10:48
Emeal Zwayne: You're a sinner.
10:49
Emeal Zwayne: What wait are?
10:50
Mark Spence: from air pods to Computers, to phone.
10:54
Mark Spence: Are you counting like?
10:55
Oscar Navarro: each single air pod to that's three the charger and the two every charger.
11:02
Mark Spence: That's a lot that's a lot.
11:04
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, ray, did you guys collect poisonous snakes and spiders in New Zealand and then eat them?
11:08
Emeal Zwayne: There isn't any.
11:09
Emeal Zwayne: How do you know, ray?
11:10
Ray Comfort: because I've gone out of the country searching for one.
11:12
Ray Comfort: Okay, if there's even one.
11:14
Emeal Zwayne: It means you're a liar.
11:15
Emeal Zwayne: That's right, and Ray, you sure have faith in people, don't you right?
11:18
Emeal Zwayne: If you only had one percent of all the knowledge in New Zealand, is it possible that remaining 99% of the knowledge you do not possess, that there could be a poisonous?
11:27
Ray Comfort: You.
11:30
Emeal Zwayne: Ray, seriously, that's one of the best illustrations I think.
11:34
Ray Comfort: you know it's not original that circle 99%, but it's brilliant.
11:40
Emeal Zwayne: I love it.
11:40
Emeal Zwayne: It's really good.
11:41
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, we're talking about friends.
11:42
Emeal Zwayne: The atheist tract oh yes, that's.
11:45
Ray Comfort: And it's really good and there's to have a banana on it, but we took it off.
11:50
Oscar Navarro: Wait, did you yes?
11:52
Ray Comfort: Yeah the original.
11:54
Ray Comfort: The original atheist test used to be a little it's like a chick-track size and that had a banana on it and a Coke can after the whole banana man.
12:00
Ray Comfort: Yeah, so we decided we'd better take it off.
12:02
Ray Comfort: Wow, we'd put it back on there a comfort.
12:06
Emeal Zwayne: We have a comma.
12:07
Emeal Zwayne: This is from Molly Maddo, 15.
12:11
Emeal Zwayne: Keep us laughing and learning easy, greatest person in the world.
12:15
Emeal Zwayne: I love easy, easy.
12:17
Oscar Navarro: Say are we taking bets on how many times?
12:19
Emeal Zwayne: easy there we go mentioned in this one.
12:20
Emeal Zwayne: My husband and I love this podcast.
12:22
Emeal Zwayne: I am a stay-at-home mom.
12:24
Emeal Zwayne: Our first child was born three weeks ago.
12:25
Emeal Zwayne: Congratulations in unison, and listening to this podcast helps me pass the time as I do housework.
12:32
Emeal Zwayne: The episode on redeeming the time was particularly insightful, reminding me to aim at what the Lord views as being truly productive in my day.
12:40
Emeal Zwayne: I'm always blessed by the truths from the word that are brought to light on each subject, and the relationship between Ray, easy, mark and Oscar keeps me laughing throughout.
12:50
Emeal Zwayne: I'm most blessed by the example of love and humility displayed as each Share truth and interact with one another.
12:57
Emeal Zwayne: Thank you for your faithful most to Christ and his word.
13:01
Oscar Navarro: That's awesome.
13:01
Oscar Navarro: Thank you, molly.
13:02
Oscar Navarro: Are you wrong?
13:03
Oscar Navarro: Oscar, you were mentioned once.
13:07
Emeal Zwayne: Along with all y'all.
13:08
Emeal Zwayne: Molly, thank you so much.
13:11
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, I made Lord bless your new baby too.
13:14
Emeal Zwayne: Hmm, boy or girl, I don't know easy.
13:17
Emeal Zwayne: You were asking Molly, boy or girl, I don't know easy.
13:21
Emeal Zwayne: Or, as EZ, if you haven't chosen a name, that was.
13:29
Ray Comfort: That's probably my best ever the basic training that doesn't mean it was good just because you.
13:36
Emeal Zwayne: I loved it.
13:37
Emeal Zwayne: Okay, the basic training course.
13:39
Emeal Zwayne: Well, the BTC.
13:41
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, talk about a blast to the past.
13:43
Emeal Zwayne: 23, 4 5,000 of these have sold.
13:47
Emeal Zwayne: You have to understand, friends.
13:48
Emeal Zwayne: This is not like a small, tiny little item and that was just a one lady who's?
13:52
Emeal Zwayne: trying to reach a husband.
13:52
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, but this has been around for years and years.
13:56
Emeal Zwayne: It's based on our television program and it's got eight lessons on four DVDs for CD set Containing the audio portion of the teaching, 120 page study guide, 300 gospel tracks, 30 second and three minute promotional video segments.
14:10
Emeal Zwayne: You get bulletins, inserts, all kinds of stuff in there so you could do a course with your church, and that's the encouraging thing, is it?
14:16
Emeal Zwayne: Churches all over the hundreds, thousands, of millions, billions, it's quadrillions, what comes after quadrillion?
14:24
Ray Comfort: I don't know, I'm too tired.
14:27
Emeal Zwayne: So septillion, probably not.
14:28
Emeal Zwayne: Um yeah, so make sure to check out the basic training course.
14:33
Emeal Zwayne: You can also get an MP4 digital format.
14:35
Emeal Zwayne: Don't forget the Living Waters.
14:37
Emeal Zwayne: Mark the evidence, study Bible, all that living waters.
14:42
Ray Comfort: Wow, that was the word mug you said and people missed it mug.
14:46
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, they're still selling like cold, like mugs, pies, Hotcakes, cold pies why not?
14:53
Emeal Zwayne: Alright, friends, today we are talking about something that I struggle with every day with my three co-hosts.
15:04
Oscar Navarro: This episode is all about easy explaining himself, boy.
15:07
Emeal Zwayne: I need help.
15:07
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, freedom from bitterness.
15:11
Emeal Zwayne: Hebrews 12, 15.
15:13
Emeal Zwayne: Let's kick it off there, looking carefully Lest anyone fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness Springing up cause trouble spring up, do you think of like spring up?
15:27
Ray Comfort: Oh well, I was thinking that let's sing it Ah and by this many become defiled when you came up with this one, this was your idea Seam on.
15:35
Oscar Navarro: Was it in the context?
15:37
Oscar Navarro: I mean, because it can go both ways, but I'm curious about where your mind was.
15:40
Oscar Navarro: That is, in the context of like marriage, long-term relationships or those more those, those like kind of big hurts and pains that can root bitterness and another word as my old friend Alan would say, from France.
15:54
Mark Spence: Yeah, All the above.
15:59
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, I'll leave up.
16:00
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, yeah, I just.
16:01
Emeal Zwayne: I just want us to explore this Subject together because it's prevalent, we've all dealt with it and not once for me, and it can creep up on you Super quick, sure, yeah, so that's a heavy verse, hebrews 12, 15.
16:18
Emeal Zwayne: Be careful, right, look carefully.
16:21
Emeal Zwayne: It's a warning, in a sense, lest any root of bitterness and I like the fact that says springing up so define bitterness.
16:29
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, I think bitterness carries with it that idea of long-lasting resentment that ends up morphing into Sometimes hatred, other times spite, other times vengeance and Unforgiveness yeah, I think that's a big part of bitterness is unforgiveness murder?
16:50
Emeal Zwayne: Murder.
16:51
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, all kinds of things spring up from it, and you know, I think that the biggest, probably outworking of bitterness is bondage.
17:02
Emeal Zwayne: It's, it's enslaving, mm-hmm.
17:05
Emeal Zwayne: You know I can't remember who it was, who said it, but we've probably quoted it before that bitterness is like drinking.
17:12
Emeal Zwayne: Oh, come on.
17:13
Mark Spence: Is it right?
17:14
Mark Spence: First point to have on my thing like drinking poison.
17:17
Mark Spence: Stop, are you guys?
17:18
Emeal Zwayne: Oh, that's very nice.
17:19
Emeal Zwayne: But yeah, right, I mean, it's true, it's like you're drinking poison, expecting someone else to die and they, they couldn't care less.
17:25
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah.
17:26
Mark Spence: They, they don't, they don't know what you're going through, they don't care what you're going through, it just is what it is, and it is a terrible place to be.
17:34
Oscar Navarro: Yeah, the full quote is harboring bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
17:40
Oscar Navarro: Who said that the more I feed bitterness in my heart, the more it brings death to me?
17:45
Mark Spence: Wait, say that, say it, I'm sorry, say that last part again.
17:47
Oscar Navarro: The more I feed bitterness in my heart, the more it brings death to me.
17:50
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, yeah, ray, are you writing a book?
17:55
Ray Comfort: No, I'm just grabbing a wonderful verse from Second Corinthians and thinking how that quote is nothing compared to Abraham Lincoln's quote where he spoke of unforgiveness as light being stung to death by 1B.
18:05
Ray Comfort: Ooh, because you can do something about it.
18:09
Ray Comfort: You just have to forgive and it's gone, but you just don't let it keep stinging you, stinging you and stinging until you're dead.
18:13
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, yeah, man, there's some good quotes here that I'm excited to jump into, but let me first share one here by Lou Priolo.
18:22
Oscar Navarro: Lou Priolo, that was my second.
18:24
Emeal Zwayne: No, I'm kidding.
18:24
Emeal Zwayne: Mentiroso, mentiroso.
18:27
Emeal Zwayne: You know what mentiroso is?
18:28
Emeal Zwayne: Fire, wow, you speak Spanish.
18:30
Oscar Navarro: Sí, por qué no?
18:31
Emeal Zwayne: You guys remember that song from the 90s.
18:33
Emeal Zwayne: Oh boy.
18:34
Oscar Navarro: Fire and Ice by Sticky yeah.
18:35
Emeal Zwayne: Mentirosa by Melo man Ace.
18:38
Oscar Navarro: There's only one person in this world that remembers that song, and it's you.
18:40
Emeal Zwayne: Okay, friends, if you remember that, please write it into podcast at livingwaterscom and let us know if you remember.
18:45
Emeal Zwayne: Mentirosa Melo man.
18:47
Emeal Zwayne: Ace ima ñana.
18:48
Emeal Zwayne: Otra cosa, mentirosa.
18:50
Emeal Zwayne: You remember it?
18:51
Emeal Zwayne: What it's just happening?
18:53
Emeal Zwayne: I saw him live in concert at Notzberri Farm.
18:56
Emeal Zwayne: Did you really yeah?
18:57
Emeal Zwayne: I didn't see one and you know what, and my friend Bean Eric Joule, threw our demo tape up on the stage and he actually called with a letter and he actually called Eric.
19:06
Emeal Zwayne: It was funny Anyway.
19:09
Ray Comfort: You got a friend named Bean I missed so many times.
19:13
Emeal Zwayne: If I talked about Bean.
19:14
Emeal Zwayne: Bean was on our episode.
19:17
Emeal Zwayne: Remember last time, what were we doing?
19:21
Oscar Navarro: Their hip hop group name was he was Bean and Izzy was Cheese.
19:28
Emeal Zwayne: Our DJ was Burrito.
19:29
Emeal Zwayne: Seriously, what is this though?
19:32
Emeal Zwayne: Why do we do that?
19:34
Ray Comfort: It's an appeal to reason.
19:35
Ray Comfort: Wait, was it this that turned into this?
19:38
Ray Comfort: Anyway, friends, what Oscar?
19:41
Emeal Zwayne: Nothing good.
19:42
Emeal Zwayne: I thought you were showing me my picture.
19:45
Oscar Navarro: No, it's not about you.
19:46
Emeal Zwayne: Okay, stop your silliness.
19:47
Emeal Zwayne: The scripture likens bitterness to a root Roots have to be planted.
19:52
Emeal Zwayne: So what's the seed that sprouts into a root of bitterness?
19:55
Emeal Zwayne: When planted, it's a hurt.
19:57
Emeal Zwayne: When someone hurts you, it's as if a seed has been dropped onto the soil of your heart.
20:02
Emeal Zwayne: You can choose to respond in two ways.
20:04
Emeal Zwayne: You can either reach down and pluck up the seed by forgiving your offender, or you can begin to cultivate the seed by reviewing the hurt over and over again in your mind.
20:14
Emeal Zwayne: Bitterness is a result of dwelling too long on a hurt.
20:18
Emeal Zwayne: It's the result of not truly forgiving the offender.
20:22
Mark Spence: Yeah, and you can forgive somebody without them ever apologizing or even if they mean to hurt you intentionally in perpetuity.
20:29
Mark Spence: You live in forgiveness Refuse to live in that place.
20:34
Emeal Zwayne: Mark, I'm glad you bring that up and I think it's important to highlight this.
20:38
Emeal Zwayne: I've said it before, I'm sure I think a lot of times the reason why we don't follow through with forgiveness is because we somehow get deceived in our minds in the thinking that forgiveness means we don't remember what someone did against us and we don't feel the pain from it.
20:55
Emeal Zwayne: So I think what happens is someone hurts us, they ask forgiveness, I forgive you.
20:59
Emeal Zwayne: Or we say in our minds, okay, I'm going to forgive them.
21:01
Emeal Zwayne: And then suddenly later the thought comes back to mind of what they did through us, the memories start haunting us and then we start feeling the pain from it again.
21:09
Emeal Zwayne: You know, that, and so we conclude in our minds oh, I guess I haven't forgiven them.
21:15
Emeal Zwayne: And so then we begin to act in accordance with unforgiveness again, when, as the reality is, we need to realize forgiveness is a commitment that keeps on committing.
21:23
Emeal Zwayne: I've committed to forgive you.
21:24
Emeal Zwayne: Now I remember what you did and I feel the pain, and I'm going to continue to choose to treat you as though you did nothing wrong against me.
21:33
Emeal Zwayne: I'm not holding it against you.
21:34
Mark Spence: Unconditional.
21:35
Mark Spence: Yeah, that's good.
21:36
Mark Spence: My son was interviewed yesterday over at Apple and one of the questions that was asked to him was how do you deal with an irate customer?
21:45
Mark Spence: And there were six other people that were being interviewed all at the same time and my son said well, I'm a firm believer that a soft answer turns away wrath, and one of the other guys that was there goes come on come on, preach it.
22:03
Oscar Navarro: Preach it, bro, Like he was just there, of one accord there, right.
22:07
Mark Spence: But if you don't, what is the way the world responds?
22:10
Mark Spence: When they've been done wrong, right, it's like well, no, I have rights, right, I'm first in this relationship or I'm tops.
22:19
Mark Spence: I need to be rewarded or recognized.
22:22
Mark Spence: And when somebody treats you like you, know what kind of a servant you are.
22:26
Mark Spence: When somebody treats you like one Somebody's once said, and when a customer wants to go off on you, it's easy to get bitter.
22:32
Mark Spence: You know what you're doing, they don't know what you're doing, and there's the mentality of the customer's always right.
22:36
Mark Spence: Well, the customer isn't necessarily always right, but how do you diffuse a situation?
22:40
Mark Spence: The same way, when you're just going through something, just pause, slow to speak, slow to wrath, take things in.
22:47
Mark Spence: I mean, last time I looked, romans 8.28 is still in effect.
22:53
Mark Spence: All things are really working together for good, and that person is getting worked up at you.
22:58
Mark Spence: You don't know what they're going through.
23:01
Mark Spence: You simply don't know what harm has happened to them.
23:05
Mark Spence: Why can't you be on the other end of that stick?
23:09
Mark Spence: Yeah, and it's done through their tongue.
23:10
Emeal Zwayne: You know, ray?
23:11
Emeal Zwayne: I'm curious to know this because I think honestly, sometimes I forget the fact that you are often criticized in the sense that you're a public figure.
23:21
Emeal Zwayne: Millions have seen you through the videos and all the different stuff that we put out as a ministry.
23:25
Emeal Zwayne: But you're often getting criticized, whether it's by atheists we have the banana man thing or it's people that have accused you falsely of heinous things.
23:34
Emeal Zwayne: There's that potential to become bitter.
23:36
Emeal Zwayne: How do you deal with it?
23:38
Ray Comfort: I delete them, have you rubbed?
23:40
Emeal Zwayne: out.
23:41
Emeal Zwayne: That's nice to have that option.
23:42
Ray Comfort: I get great joy when I see a comment, something really nasty on the YouTube channel by saying oh, thanks for sharing your thoughts, please do watch.
23:49
Ray Comfort: I hope your day's going well.
23:51
Ray Comfort: God bless you, ray Comfort, and they come back with oh same to you.
23:54
Ray Comfort: I hope your day's going well too, and it makes me laugh how you can use love to touch people's hearts.
23:59
Ray Comfort: But just digressing a little, I don't think anything convinces me how deeply ingrained we are in a spiritual battle as to when you've got the potential to become bitter, because Satan will come back at you and keep bringing that memory back, bringing you think I've forgiven, I've forgotten, I'm forgetting, and back it comes again and again, and so you can't stop.
24:17
Ray Comfort: And that brings us to 2 Corinthians 2, verses 11, 12, which I'm sure you know, for indeed I have forgiven anything.
24:24
Ray Comfort: If I've forgiven anything, I have forgiven the one that for your sakes, in the presence of Christ least Satan should take advantage of us, for we're not ignorant of his devices and if anything will steal your joy and your peace and your love and your kindness, it's a root of bitterness, it's a device of the devil and you've got to cut it off of the root through forgiveness.
24:44
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, it's good.
24:45
Emeal Zwayne: Oscar Lu Priolo, I think, put it well and he talked about the fact that really, bitterness is a result of dwelling on something too much.
24:53
Emeal Zwayne: I mean it's giving ourselves over to replaying or rehearsing.
24:57
Emeal Zwayne: They said this, and then we just keep playing and it just gets deeper and deeper, right, yeah, it reminds me of Proverbs 17, 9,.
25:03
Oscar Navarro: Whoever conceals and offense promotes love.
25:05
Oscar Navarro: But whoever gossips about it separates a friend.
25:08
Oscar Navarro: And I think we can gossip about it, repeat it.
25:11
Oscar Navarro: As you pointed out over and over again, we can repeat the sin to our own selves.
25:15
Oscar Navarro: I can't believe he did that.
25:17
Oscar Navarro: I can't believe he or she said that thing to me.
25:19
Oscar Navarro: I should have said this.
25:20
Oscar Navarro: Why did he say that we're repeating in our own minds to ourselves?
25:23
Oscar Navarro: We can often repeat the sins of others to the sinner.
25:28
Oscar Navarro: You remember when he did this to me?
25:29
Oscar Navarro: You remember how you treated me that one time.
25:31
Oscar Navarro: You remember, remember, remember.
25:32
Oscar Navarro: We want them to pay for their sins, or we can repeat the sins that have committed against us to other people in a manner that is gossipy.
25:41
Oscar Navarro: Can you believe what EZ did to me the other day?
25:43
Oscar Navarro: Can you guys mute EZ real quick?
25:48
Oscar Navarro: And so yeah, you're absolutely right.
25:51
Oscar Navarro: We hold on to these things that have been committed against us because we want to be the judge, jury and executioner for the sins that have been committed against us, and I think one of the biggest things our response to being sinned against is revealing to our understanding of the sins that we commit against God.
26:16
Oscar Navarro: Amen, that's it Absolutely.
26:19
Emeal Zwayne: I think that Paul nails this.
26:21
Emeal Zwayne: I think maybe even in a recent episode we talked about this passage, but Ephesians 4 30-32, he nails this precisely and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption, let all bitterness, and then wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking which, by the way, are all, I believe, byproducts of bitterness All those things flow from bitterness.
26:42
Emeal Zwayne: You're bitter, you become wrathful and you become angry, which the word wrath has the idea of, like hey, catching fire.
26:49
Emeal Zwayne: It blazes quickly, then dies out, but anger is a blazing inferno that keeps going and growing.
26:54
Emeal Zwayne: Clamor, it's like the shouting down of an opponent.
26:57
Emeal Zwayne: Evil speaking which carries with it the content of what you're saying, to cut someone down and then malice, wishing harm upon another.
27:04
Emeal Zwayne: You know it all flows from that bitterness.
27:06
Emeal Zwayne: But he says, instead of that, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
27:14
Oscar Navarro: And that last piece, I think, is the ultimate cure.
27:18
Oscar Navarro: It's the key to understanding how to remove ourselves from bitterness, because an unforgiving heart is an unforgiven heart.
27:27
Oscar Navarro: It's a heart that doesn't quite realize that they have been forgiven and they think to themselves I would never do that, I would never do that from them.
27:35
Oscar Navarro: Or they think I have yet to be forgiven.
27:38
Oscar Navarro: But when we understand who we are in Christ, that we have been forgiven greatly.
27:46
Oscar Navarro: I mean, you think, and this is what I think about all the time.
27:48
Oscar Navarro: I think about it because when I put this in the context of our marriages like I've been married 12 years now, some people are married 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, 40 years you have two sinners 50 years, 60 years 70 years.
28:01
Oscar Navarro: Ray wants honor in here.
28:02
Oscar Navarro: Yes, thank you.
28:03
Oscar Navarro: You got two sinners getting together making a lifetime covenant.
28:07
Oscar Navarro: There's gonna be sin on top of sin.
28:10
Oscar Navarro: There's gonna be little things that end up happening, the little frustrations of like man why won't he unroll his socks before putting him in the laundry basket?
28:18
Oscar Navarro: Why won't she clean the dishes in this way?
28:20
Oscar Navarro: Why won't he?
28:21
Oscar Navarro: And those little things become they can become points of bitterness that are like Trojan horses for your marriage.
28:29
Oscar Navarro: But I think, in the context of our forgiveness with God, think about all the tiny little sins that aren't really little in the eyes of God.
28:39
Oscar Navarro: Think of all the sins that you've committed, all the ways you forget about him and all the times he doesn't bring it up Right, like there's so many sins that he passes over that we don't even notice.
28:53
Mark Spence: And when we grasp that, it gives us the power to then move forward and forgive others in that same way, there's a scripture in Job that says that God loves us too much to burden us down with our sins.
29:03
Mark Spence: You think of all the sins, all the little things, all the petty things that we do.
29:07
Mark Spence: That can continually add up.
29:09
Mark Spence: Ray, you hit your hand and raised up you wanna come forward and say okay, no, no, I'm fine, I'll wait for a minute.
29:13
Ray Comfort: I'm very patient, I forgive you.
29:15
Oscar Navarro: I can see bitterness growing in his hand.
29:17
Oscar Navarro: I see smoke coming out of Ray's ears, leave my nostril.
29:21
Ray Comfort: he is out of the field.
29:22
Emeal Zwayne: Better, better better Go ahead.
29:25
Ray Comfort: Go ahead, go on.
29:26
Ray Comfort: Just you go first, I'll be last.
29:29
Mark Spence: No, you make me lose my train of thought.
29:30
Oscar Navarro: You get up and say you punch me under the table.
29:34
Mark Spence: I did not, that is just Ray, what's wrong?
29:39
Ray Comfort: Hey, Oscar, I can teach you how to unroll your socks.
29:41
Ray Comfort: If you want, I can give you a lesson on how to have a good marriage.
29:44
Ray Comfort: Ray, I'd like to say something here yes say, there is a way to take bitterness and make it into betterness and betterness, and I learned it many years ago.
29:52
Ray Comfort: If you've got a thought that keeps coming back to you and you just can't seem to stop it, you know, overcome it.
29:56
Ray Comfort: The next night you're lying in bed and you think, oh, why do you do that?
29:59
Ray Comfort: And you get the whole thing goes over and over again.
30:01
Ray Comfort: What I did years ago is I would formulate the most positive, god-glorifying, satan-trampeling confession of faith and prayer that I could imagine, and I'd pray that when that bit of thought came, wow.
30:17
Ray Comfort: So the enemy would come and set off an alarm saying get better.
30:21
Ray Comfort: And I'd say, oh, that reminds me to pray that very powerful, positive prayer that glorifies God and tramples Satan underfoot, and be just something like this oh God, give me wisdom, give me a love, give me a burden for the last open doors, make me effective to reach the last.
30:38
Ray Comfort: And it was just this prayer I learned off my heart.
30:39
Ray Comfort: So Satan would bring a negative and it suddenly bring a positive to me.
30:43
Emeal Zwayne: Wow, ray, it really overcame that.
30:44
Emeal Zwayne: So since I've become your son-in-law, you've prayed that prayer like thousands.
30:47
Ray Comfort: All the time.
30:48
Emeal Zwayne: Thousands.
30:49
Oscar Navarro: Right now.
30:50
Oscar Navarro: I'm trying to get it right now.
30:51
Emeal Zwayne: Lord, get his face out of my head.
30:56
Ray Comfort: No, that's good, but that really really does work.
30:58
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, no, yeah, and Mark, I want to say we think of the parable that Jesus gave about the servant who was forgiven much and wouldn't forgive his servant who barely owed him anything in comparison.
31:09
Ray Comfort: Excuse me, and Certainly and Amen.
31:13
Oscar Navarro: Certainly.
31:15
Emeal Zwayne: And really it does oftentimes come down to this almost spiritual amnesia, when we forget what we have done against God.
31:26
Mark Spence: We go from prodigal to Pharisee overnight.
31:29
Mark Spence: That's not original.
31:32
Ray Comfort: Nothing on his.
31:32
Ray Comfort: Is that original, you know what?
31:34
Ray Comfort: No, that's not original.
31:36
Emeal Zwayne: Let's do it, copy out from the outside.
31:38
Ray Comfort: Nothing, we say is ever original, so we don't have to quote anyone.
31:41
Mark Spence: We need to say it Is that original though.
31:42
Mark Spence: Yeah, yeah.
31:44
Oscar Navarro: I think the wheeze might be original.
31:46
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, that's the only original thing.
31:48
Mark Spence: Yeah, the Bible is filled with examples of people that were forgetful.
31:57
Ray Comfort: Was that a joke?
31:58
Mark Spence: Of where it came from.
31:59
Mark Spence: You lose train of thought saying that word.
32:01
Mark Spence: What's that?
32:02
Ray Comfort: Yeah.
32:05
Mark Spence: We have a story with Cain.
32:06
Mark Spence: Cain was bitter that God accepted able sacrifice and not his own.
32:09
Mark Spence: Instead of dealing with those feelings by admitting his own part in the situation and considering God's point of view, he buried his anger.
32:16
Mark Spence: According to compelling truth, compellingtruthorg is a really great website because that's kind of the sibling to got questions.
32:24
Mark Spence: It deals maybe a little bit more on a deeper philosophical level to think through different things, not just quick answers to questions.
32:33
Mark Spence: There's the example of Sarah in Abraham, when Sarah asked Abram to impregnate her maid servant, hagar, and was bitter with Hagar.
32:40
Mark Spence: When it worked, do this, it did.
32:43
Mark Spence: It worked Well.
32:45
Mark Spence: Now I'm upset at you for doing that, obviously, rightfully so.
32:49
Mark Spence: And how about King Saul?
32:51
Mark Spence: When he realized how much the people loved David and celebrated his accomplishments, saul looked into the mirror and realized man, I am not David, I have not done what he's done.
33:02
Mark Spence: And then he tries to have him killed.
33:04
Mark Spence: And then we have the story of Job and Job's wife, right when, finally, she's upset and she's bitter at God, looking at how they served God, undoubtedly.
33:17
Mark Spence: And then finally Job's wife says do you still hold fast your integrity?
33:21
Mark Spence: And Job 2.9 says curse God and die.
33:26
Ray Comfort: Yeah, yeah and Mark, I like the fact, and that's when she's in a good mood.
33:32
Emeal Zwayne: Joe Bet.
33:33
Emeal Zwayne: But, mark, I like the fact that you mentioned that Saul saying I am not David.
33:39
Emeal Zwayne: And I love this quote by Jerry Berger.
33:41
Emeal Zwayne: As he says bitterness arises in our hearts when we do not trust in the sovereign rule of God.
33:46
Emeal Zwayne: In our lives, bitterness can arise on so many fronts.
33:49
Emeal Zwayne: It's not just someone did something against me, it's I don't have this or I don't have that, or the circumstances in my life turned out this way or that way, and ultimately it comes down to saying God, you've put me in this predicament, you've allowed the circumstance that arise in my heart, and so I'm gonna accept it.
34:08
Emeal Zwayne: And I'm going to again and this is so key, I talk about this all the time the operative word is to continue to proactively walk with the Lord.
34:19
Emeal Zwayne: I think so often we deceive ourselves in the thinking well, I haven't denied the faith, I haven't blasphemed God, I haven't given up my church membership, so I'm cool.
34:28
Emeal Zwayne: No, if we cease to proactively walk with God, consciously pursue Him, consciously surrender to Him, consciously walk in love, consciously bear the fruit of the spirit, then we are not surrendering to the Psalm TV.
34:42
Ray Comfort: We're not proactively walking with Him.
34:44
Oscar Navarro: And it's so important, you know, first to recognize that I think it's also really important, especially in the in the context of long-term relationships like marriage, family, friends, coworkers, bosses that are from Lebanon, all of these things that it's important to recognize the difference between when someone sins and when someone quote, unquote sins against you.
35:06
Oscar Navarro: And what I mean by that is that we have such a high view of ourselves that sometimes our bitterness arises because somebody doesn't treat us the way we want them to treat us.
35:14
Oscar Navarro: They don't respect us the way we want them to respect us.
35:17
Oscar Navarro: They don't do something around the house the way we want them to do, the thing around the house.
35:21
Oscar Navarro: They don't communicate to us in a way we want them to communicate, and we put ourselves on this shelf and go you have disobeyed my laws, you have broken my 10 commandments, and bitterness arises because you have a high view of yourself.
35:35
Oscar Navarro: I think the key first to forgiveness is being able to understand what sin actually is Right.
35:41
Oscar Navarro: If somebody does something in a way that I don't enjoy, if I have a low view of myself, I will understand the context of that and it's easier to let that go.
35:52
Oscar Navarro: But what happens when somebody actually sins against you?
35:55
Oscar Navarro: Well, if you have a low view yourself and a high view of God you will have in your mind.
36:02
Oscar Navarro: They're standing before the Lord as more valuable than they're standing before you.
36:08
Oscar Navarro: In other words, if someone lies to me, I am more concerned about the sin they've committed against God before I am concerned about their sin committed against me, and that allows me to pursue them in love.
36:20
Oscar Navarro: That allows me to pursue them in a way that I don't have to hold resentment or bitterness in my own heart because, at the end of the day, like David says, against you and you alone have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.
36:31
Oscar Navarro: I recognize that the chief issue is between the sinner and their savior.
36:37
Emeal Zwayne: That's good, Mark.
36:39
Emeal Zwayne: You know, in Colossians 319, Paul says husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
36:45
Emeal Zwayne: I think of this.
36:46
Emeal Zwayne: You know, obviously it's dealing directly with the wife here, but I think of this principally right, when you think about it from a logical standpoint, it's crazy that the people that are closest to us are the people that we can become more, most bitter toward.
37:02
Emeal Zwayne: I mean, it's kind of like, you know, the kid who pummels the bully at school for picking on their little sister, little brother, and then that same day on the way home, they'll be raiding them up and down, right, and they're always, always bullying them at home.
37:16
Emeal Zwayne: You know, it's so illogical Like these are the people that we say we would lay our lives.
37:21
Emeal Zwayne: Of course I take a bullet for my wife, for my kids, for my in-laws, for, you know, whatever.
37:27
Ray Comfort: Well, for your neighbor.
37:30
Emeal Zwayne: Let me rethink that last one, but you know what I'm saying.
37:33
Emeal Zwayne: But with my spouse, but then it's toward them that we become the most bitter.
37:38
Mark Spence: What's the deal with that?
37:39
Mark Spence: It helped me to figure that out.
37:41
Mark Spence: I don't know if I can wrap my brain around that entirely right, we were called to love unconditionally and sacrificially.
37:46
Mark Spence: You know, god forbid that we would ever treat our love, the one closest to us, with anything other than love, honor and respect.
37:57
Mark Spence: I don't fully have that figured out.
38:00
Mark Spence: I mean, we go from I love you, I love you, I love you to the one moment to and we've seen this with friends of ours too I wanna divorce you and I hate you.
38:07
Mark Spence: I can't even see your face anymore If I hear your name or your voice.
38:11
Mark Spence: it brings curls down my spine.
38:13
Mark Spence: What has happened, you know, with that is you know you have not walked in the way in accordance to your faith if you're a Christian and you have not kept your eyes on the prize and you think that your spouse, your the moment, your situation, your finances is the end goal.
38:32
Mark Spence: But in reality, you know, I heard Kirk Cameron say something one time in referencing to a man who was going off on his wife and says you know, this is not the same woman I married 20 odd years ago.
38:46
Mark Spence: She's a completely different person.
38:49
Mark Spence: And Kirk responded to him and said she got like that on your watch.
38:53
Mark Spence: Wow, that's a heavy statement.
38:56
Mark Spence: What are you doing to pour into your kids, your spouse, the situation, pouring into yourself?
39:03
Mark Spence: You know, cj Mahaney says at one time in one of his books that I read that we need to be continually and constantly sharing the gospel with ourselves.
39:11
Mark Spence: And this is to Oscar's point earlier, in that if we are reminded of how much we have been forgiven, it's easier to forgive.
39:20
Mark Spence: We will be quick to forgive people when we realize that we've been forgiven, because he who has been forgiven much loves much.
39:29
Emeal Zwayne: Wow, mark, let me ask you this on that point.
39:31
Emeal Zwayne: That's so good.
39:33
Emeal Zwayne: You know, there's that story that I read about that couple when I do weddings, about how, you know, this guy was looking at this woman who was just so sweet and wonderful and amazing, and they're like, wow, you must love her so much because she's like that.
39:50
Emeal Zwayne: And the conclusion was, it's because she was so loved that she became that person, you know.
39:56
Emeal Zwayne: But, mark, what do you say to the person who says but man, I really, I mean in all good conscience, I have loved my wife, or a wife can say I've loved my husband, or we've been faithful parents to bringing our kids in the way of the Lord, but they turned out this way.
40:10
Emeal Zwayne: I mean, do you see that there is also that, like Paul Tripp talks about, in Shepherding and Child's Heart, that Godward orientation where people can still choose, though, to be that way, even though someone has loved them, and dead right?
40:22
Mark Spence: Yeah, of course, right.
40:23
Mark Spence: I mean, as we've said before in the past, it's not our job to raise Christian children.
40:28
Mark Spence: It's our job to model what a Christian is for our children.
40:30
Mark Spence: In the same way, it's not my job to raise a Christian wife, but it's my job to model what a Christian is for my wife and want her to come alongside me.
40:38
Mark Spence: If she chooses to reject that, that's on her, but that doesn't change the way I've been commanded by God to love her and to respect her.
40:46
Mark Spence: You know, I tell my wife and I we have this agreement in that what is it?
40:52
Mark Spence: It's I said, listen, baby, if I was a woman, if I was the wife, I would make sure that there are plenty of meals, that the clothes are clean, that things.
41:04
Mark Spence: I would say this is kind of what I would do Now.
41:07
Mark Spence: With that said, I honestly don't know what your role is in my life.
41:12
Mark Spence: Personally, I don't know what kind of a chiseling agent you are to get me to be who I need to be in the Lord.
41:19
Mark Spence: So let's have an agreement.
41:21
Mark Spence: Of course I would like you to make meals.
41:24
Mark Spence: I'm a way at work and come home, you know, and we're able to sit down, we work together, you know whatever.
41:28
Mark Spence: But if you don't make food, please don't get upset at me if I go and I purchase food From Wintersnitzels From Wintersnitzels, right, or if I just if I go another route to be able to get that food, because sometimes I'm in just a hurry to kind of get some things done, to get things accomplished Right, and she's all Great, yeah, so I there's no way what I ever think it will If you don't make food and don't get upset if I go and purchase food.
41:55
Mark Spence: You know, and she's realizing that, you know finances are not always there to be able to go out and eat, so she tries to make sure that there's always food.
42:05
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, yeah, that's a very bitterness inducing.
42:10
Mark Spence: Anyway, ray um right?
42:12
Emeal Zwayne: No, that's, that's good.
42:13
Emeal Zwayne: I love the fact that that you guys communicate through stuff like that.
42:17
Emeal Zwayne: What do you mean?
42:20
Emeal Zwayne: And uh, yeah, that's good.
42:22
Emeal Zwayne: Anyway, uh, Ray, you know, and James talks about how you can have bitter envy, and it talks about self seeking and it goes on and gives a list and says this wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.
42:37
Emeal Zwayne: There is a demonic element to bitterness.
42:40
Emeal Zwayne: I mean, we often forget that we don't wrestle against flesh and blood.
42:43
Emeal Zwayne: There are demonic entities at work.
42:45
Emeal Zwayne: Right, the pendulum swings, you have a devil under every rock and then you've got total like writing off of the reality of spiritual warfare and demonic entities.
42:55
Emeal Zwayne: But there is that demonic element.
42:56
Ray Comfort: Yeah, and that's why we realize, when we realize we rest an odd against flesh and blood, the weapons of orphan O'Connell, but mighty through God of the pulling down the strongholds, we've got to attack the spiritually and our chief weapon, one of the chief weapons, is prayer and I, I Mark, mentioned David before.
43:12
Ray Comfort: I absolutely love David and I think about Jesus being the son of David, how he handled the potential for bitterness with committing himself to him, the judges, righteously.
43:24
Ray Comfort: I mean, if anyone's going to hit someone, let it be the father let it be God.
43:28
Ray Comfort: You know you can slap my face, pour my beard out, but God's going to get you back.
43:31
Ray Comfort: That's the principle of turn the other cheek.
43:33
Ray Comfort: It's not that I'm weak, it's like I've got a boss that's bigger than me and he's going to get you if you keep this up, if he sees fit.
43:39
Ray Comfort: We commit ourselves to him who judge righteously, and David did that.
43:43
Ray Comfort: You read the Precatory Psalms which evoke evil, like smash out their teeth, oh God.
43:49
Ray Comfort: And that's hard for a Christian to kind of do that.
43:52
Ray Comfort: But you see, david got rid of his heat in prayer and when it came to forgiveness man, he just leads the ways with Saul and his son Jonathan.
44:01
Ray Comfort: You know he kind of killed Saul a couple of times, justifiably, because it's like self-defense, but he didn't and I think that's why he's caught a man up to God's own heart.
44:11
Oscar Navarro: You know, earlier I talked about the small things and I think a way to quench that bitterness is to realize that we have too high view of ourselves.
44:19
Oscar Navarro: But then there's the moments which you're alluding to, especially in David's life, where we're serious sins have been committed against you.
44:26
Oscar Navarro: And here's where I think that belief in a just God is so important and it's so interesting to me that mostly, like the argument against God being just, god being wrathful, there being a hell comes from that's a very Western argument.
44:45
Oscar Navarro: Like I don't like the idea of God being just and God sending people to hell.
44:49
Oscar Navarro: That's a Western, middle class, comfortable argument.
44:53
Oscar Navarro: People who have never witnessed genocide make that kind of an argument right.
44:58
Oscar Navarro: People who have never witnessed children being taken away to be put into war camps and given weapons to go to war for a megalomaniac.
45:05
Oscar Navarro: They've never seen things like that.
45:08
Oscar Navarro: And to the person who is suffering, like we believe in a just God means that we don't have to.
45:17
Oscar Navarro: As I said earlier, we don't have to be the judge, jury and executioner.
45:20
Oscar Navarro: We don't have to be the ones that seek after justice, because it will never fulfill us.
45:26
Oscar Navarro: That is the role of the Lord.
45:28
Oscar Navarro: He is the one that is just he is the one that makes sure that all balances, all the debt that has been owed and all the balances need to be paid, that all of that will equal out at the end.
45:40
Oscar Navarro: Either the sinner's going to pay for it and for all of eternity, or Jesus pays for it on the cross.
45:45
Oscar Navarro: And so we, knowing this, have the opportunity to recognize that we can transfer that debt, that debt that you.
45:54
Oscar Navarro: And that's ultimately what forgiveness you talked about forgiveness earlier.
45:56
Oscar Navarro: Forgiveness is a sword of transferring of debt.
46:00
Oscar Navarro: If I don't forgive you, you owe me something right.
46:03
Oscar Navarro: You owe me an apology, you owe me reconciliation.
46:06
Oscar Navarro: You owe me the recognition you owe me suffering for the rest of your life for that thing that you did for me.
46:10
Oscar Navarro: But forgiveness is a forgiveness of debt, is essentially saying here's this debt you owe me, but I'm going to seek the Lord and be fulfilled and healed, and instead he's going to be the one that's going to seek after that debt.
46:23
Oscar Navarro: He's going to pay for it or you're going to pay for it in the end.
46:26
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, Well, you know, you think about what it says about Jesus and first Peter.
46:30
Emeal Zwayne: It says, in terms of his suffering, he entrusted himself to him.
46:35
Emeal Zwayne: Who judges right?
46:36
Ray Comfort: That's the first I just quoted.
46:37
Ray Comfort: Oh, you did quote that, yeah, from a different version.
46:39
Emeal Zwayne: Oh that's why he committed himself to be judges right.
46:42
Ray Comfort: So you said, and that's why I didn't recognize the New Zealand version.
46:44
Emeal Zwayne: Yeah, but, guys, what do you think of this?
46:46
Emeal Zwayne: I want to throw this out as a way to help ourselves honor the Lord and grow out of bitterness.
46:54
Emeal Zwayne: Obviously, it all begins in the heart, right?
46:57
Emeal Zwayne: So I think prayer is good.
46:58
Emeal Zwayne: As I build towards that, listen to Ann Peterson.
47:02
Emeal Zwayne: She said I have found it impossible to be unforgiving towards those I'm praying for.
47:06
Emeal Zwayne: It's not easy to start praying for them.
47:08
Emeal Zwayne: It's one of the hardest things I've done.
47:09
Emeal Zwayne: But when I make that person an object of prayer, I open the door of my heart a little wider so that God can come in and breathe on my heart and heart, melting the icy resentment that is there.
47:21
Oscar Navarro: That's a hard thing to do, it is.
47:23
Emeal Zwayne: But I think it should begin there and we should ask the Lord to deal with our hearts.
47:26
Emeal Zwayne: But don't you guys think too in terms of action, don't you think that the best thing we can do is to treat that person that we feel bitter toward, that maybe hurt us, wounded us and again, I'm not talking about abuse, I'm talking within a safe zone, where it's not something where we're going to be harmed in a severe way, to continue to treat them the opposite of how we feel like treating them.
47:49
Emeal Zwayne: Get them a gift basket, yeah, stuff like that.
47:51
Emeal Zwayne: I mean, okay, for example, someone, someone you know, set something to hurt me or to offend me.
47:57
Emeal Zwayne: I don't want to talk to that person.
47:58
Emeal Zwayne: I push myself to talk to them.
48:00
Emeal Zwayne: I don't want to greet them.
48:01
Emeal Zwayne: I push myself to greet them.
48:03
Emeal Zwayne: I don't want to get them a gift, I push myself to get them a gift.
48:06
Emeal Zwayne: I mean, I think that's the way we move toward healing.
48:09
Emeal Zwayne: Is that why?
48:09
Oscar Navarro: you're always buying me lunch.
48:11
Emeal Zwayne: No, that's really good, Honestly as you bring that up.
48:16
Oscar Navarro: It reminds me of a season in my life.
48:19
Oscar Navarro: You know I've shared it before.
48:20
Oscar Navarro: My mom married a guy several different guys at different times that were all incredibly abusive, and one of them specifically I struggled with for a really long time because he was the one that abused my mom, abused my triplet sisters, abused me, and in the thoughts I would have towards him as a Christian, was like man, like I was little then, but I'm not little now.
48:41
Oscar Navarro: You know what I mean.
48:41
Oscar Navarro: Or like, oh man, if one day he ever showed up in my house like I would think I would daydream about what I would do.
48:47
Oscar Navarro: I'm just confessing this to you.
48:48
Oscar Navarro: And one day someone suggested to me have you ever prayed for his salvation?
48:53
Oscar Navarro: Wow.
48:53
Oscar Navarro: And when I heard that, I was like I cannot see me sincerely praying for that man's salvation.
49:00
Oscar Navarro: But over time the Lord did a work on my heart and I started to pray for his salvation and honestly, it wasn't easy.
49:07
Oscar Navarro: You know what I mean.
49:08
Oscar Navarro: Like I didn't understand it, but it was the beginning of letting go of that bitterness and being able to forgive.
49:16
Oscar Navarro: Like he's not in my life I don't see him ever.
49:19
Oscar Navarro: But I don't have those thoughts for some.
49:21
Oscar Navarro: I've ran into him at a wedding and at a funeral and it's a shake of the hand and it's a sincerely like how are you, man?
49:27
Oscar Navarro: Like I'm done being resentful, I'm done being bitter and I'm praying for this person's salvation, the Lord brings healing through that.
49:33
Emeal Zwayne: You know, someone recently said something to me that hurt me.
49:38
Emeal Zwayne: They met well fully, well fully Pyromotos, but it really did hurt me, and they acknowledged later that they realized that they could have said it differently.
49:46
Emeal Zwayne: But in the midst of that, as I was struggling, I pushed myself to interact with them in ways that were in keeping with non bitterness, and they pointed that out.
49:57
Emeal Zwayne: They said I was surprised that you did this and I said I did that because it's only right For me to not do that would be me giving in to bitterness, and I can't do that, you know.
50:09
Emeal Zwayne: So it's important for us to maintain that mindset and that heart and press on.
50:14
Emeal Zwayne: Let me just wrap it up with this quote by Anne Peterson.
50:17
Emeal Zwayne: She said bitterness starts out small and offense burrows its way into our hearts.
50:21
Emeal Zwayne: We repay it in our mind.
50:22
Emeal Zwayne: We play it in our minds, creating deep ruts that will be hard to build back up.
50:27
Emeal Zwayne: We retell our hurts to any available listener, including each sorted detail.
50:31
Emeal Zwayne: We enlist support, pushing us further into our resentment.
50:34
Emeal Zwayne: We hear the offending person's name and cringe.
50:37
Emeal Zwayne: We decipher the offense as intentional and our offender as full of spite.
50:41
Emeal Zwayne: We look for other reasons, but real, or both real or imagined, to dislike our villain.
50:46
Emeal Zwayne: With each new piece of information we form another layer of bitterness.
50:50
Emeal Zwayne: We fool ourselves into thinking no one will know, but anger and resentment have a way of seeping into everything.
50:56
Emeal Zwayne: Resentment is like a beach ball.
50:59
Emeal Zwayne: We try to submerge in the water.
51:01
Emeal Zwayne: No matter how valiant our efforts, it pops up with all its vitality, splashing everyone around.
51:08
Oscar Navarro: That's really good, isn't that heavy?
51:11
Oscar Navarro: That's why I don't play with beach balls.
51:14
Emeal Zwayne: And then one last one by Randy Smith.
51:16
Emeal Zwayne: He says it doesn't matter how bad you were hurt.
51:18
Emeal Zwayne: It doesn't matter if the person has yet to ask for your forgiveness.
51:21
Emeal Zwayne: It doesn't matter how strongly you feel you can justify your bitterness.
51:24
Emeal Zwayne: It doesn't matter if the offender still continues to sin against you.
51:28
Emeal Zwayne: Bitterness in any form is a sin against God.
51:32
Emeal Zwayne: You are choosing to be bitter.
51:34
Emeal Zwayne: You will never be free until you acknowledge your bitterness, own up to it and ask for the Lord's forgiveness.
51:41
Oscar Navarro: It's good.
51:41
Oscar Navarro: It's like saying you don't choose to be sinned against, but you do get to choose.
51:45
Oscar Navarro: How do you spawn?
51:46
Oscar Navarro: To being sinned against.
51:48
Oscar Navarro: Yeah, my man.
51:49
Emeal Zwayne: Well, there you have it, friends.
51:52
Emeal Zwayne: Another one.
51:53
Emeal Zwayne: Hope you're not bitter that we went a little longer than usual, but don't forget the basic training course, both physical and MP4 digital format, the Living Waters Mug, the evidence study Bible, all at livingwaterscom.
52:03
Emeal Zwayne: Send in your comments and your thoughts to podcastatlivingwaterscom and don't forget to give us a rating and leave your comments.
52:09
Emeal Zwayne: We read them sometimes.
52:11
Emeal Zwayne: Thank you for joining us, friends.
52:14
Emeal Zwayne: We'll see you here next time on the Living Waters podcast, the ultimate cure for insomnia.
52:23
Emeal Zwayne: Why is there a?