Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Xi Makes Trump Climb Stairs_ Learn Ancient Greek History _ Tremble Over Taiwan Talk _ The Daily Show

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Xi Makes Trump Climb Stairs_ Learn Ancient Greek History _ Tremble Over Taiwan Talk _ The Daily Show · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: President Trump is in China right now, and the whole U.S.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: news media has gone along with him, which means we
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: at home are getting a rare look at some of
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: China's cultural wonders.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: This is the Family Mart convenience store in Beijing. Inside
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: is a Galbot robot, the dominance of AI. Beijing is
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: trying to lead the way in AI and also in
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: humanoid robots. Let's go inside. This is the first of
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: its kind for this kind of interaction. If you want
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: to order something, hello, can I get a sausage, please?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: A sausage?
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: You went to China, home of one of the most
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: famed cuisines in the world, and ordered a convenience store sausage? Brad,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: you're making us look weird in front of our future overlords.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: Although it could be worse.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Usually when someone at Fox News asks someone to grab
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: their sausage, it comes with a $ 10 million lawsuit, so...
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: By the way, look at that robot just standing there
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: in the back. I love that even in our tech future,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: there's still one guy at work that does absolutely nothing.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: But as for the summit itself, Trump's welcome got off
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: to a nice start when he was greeted by children
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: upon children upon children. But then things took a turn
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: for the worse when Trump was confronted by stairs upon
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: stairs upon even more stairs. But after all the greeting
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: and the stair climbing, it was time for the actual summit,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: a chance for President Xi to explain his position in simple,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: clear terms Donald Trump could understand. President Xi said that
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: he hoped the two countries could avoid the so-called Thucydides trap.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: It's a historic reference about a great power being threatened
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: by the rise of another.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Damn it, Xi! You're gonna hit President Trump with a
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Thucydides trip? Now you're making his brain go up a
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: flight of stairs. Come on, all right, President Trump, don't
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: let this guy history-mog you. Show him you can communicate
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: in equally sophisticated terms.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Chinese restaurants in America today outnumber the five largest fast-food
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: chains in the United States all combined.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: That's a pretty big statement.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: That's my president's. putting his understanding of geopolitics into fast-food terms.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: He gives a summit speech like a third-grader who got
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: assigned China for his geography project. In conclusion, China is
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: a land of contrast, and I brought Panda Express for everyone!
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I got to say, it appears to be a good
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: sign to see all this bridge building, because I was
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: under the impression that our relationship with China was growing
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: increasingly tense and bitter, especially over Taiwan, which China wants
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: to take back, and we want to keep independent. But
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I'm sure all the goodwill between Xi and Trump carried
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: over into their closed-door meeting about Taiwan.
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: During a two-hour closed-door meeting, Xi reportedly delivering a stark
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: warning to Trump on the issue of Taiwan, which China
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: sees as its territory. Xi telling Trump if the issue
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: is handled poorly, the two countries will collide or even clash.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Ho, ho, ho. Tough talk, President Xi. Perhaps you've forgotten
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: that you're talking to America, the country that's just about
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: to start kicking Iran's ass any day now. And if
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: you want to step up to us with all this
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Thucydides crap, then why don't you do sit on these nuts? Now,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I know Donald Trump's not gonna take a tongue-lashing like that.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Our president's definitely not gonna walk out of those talks
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: looking like he's in a hostage video.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: How were your talks, sir?
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Wait.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: Holy shit, what happened in there?
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: That was like asking Tiger Woods how the drive home went.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: All right, DT, do you want to expand on that?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Maybe defend Taiwan?
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: Great place.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Incredible.
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: China's beautiful.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: What happened in the meeting that made him really not
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: want to talk about Taiwan? He's out there like, don't
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: you guys want to talk about anything else? Jeffrey Epstein?
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I got a lot of redactions. I got time. Let's chat.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: So after day one of this trip, I definitely have
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: way more questions than answers. What did Xi say to
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Trump behind closed doors? Can our two nations avoid the
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: famous two centipedes trap? How many Chinese restaurants are there
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: in the U.S.? Hell, I don't even know if Bret
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Baier ever got his sausage.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: This is the first of its kind here, and they
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: say there are going to be many different iterations, so
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: there's a real big back and forth.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: He got his sausage! Yeah!
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: Oh!
• 5:10
  Speaker 6: Yes!
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: And look, it's just a... It's just a loose sausage
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: on a plate.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: Yum!
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: The robots are like, I know you are going to
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: eat this with your hands, you American pig. For more
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: help understanding the summit and the complexities of China, let's
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: go live to Ronny Chieng. Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie. Of
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: course we have to check in with you for this.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you mean of course you're checking in
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: with me? Why of course?
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, you've got, you have your expertise.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, in what?
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: You are, when I'm thinking of you, when I'm thinking
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: of you, I think you are, your expertise, you have.
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: You are, you're, you're, you're, you're Chinese, right? Yes, but.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: That doesn't mean I'm the China guy.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: I don't assume you're the expert on Slender Man just.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: Because of how you look.
• 6:20
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, mean, but accurate. But as long as you are here,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: why don't you help with this?
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: I need information. No, no, no.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: I'm putting my foot down, all right? I'm not your
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: China expert. I'm not even from China. Hey, Jordan, I
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: think I can help. Wait, who is that? Who is that?
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Wait, Josh Johnson.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: It's Josh Johnson.
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: Hello, from Beijing. Or should I say, Konichiwa, Jordan.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, great. Fantastic. Josh, you can be our China expert.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: What can you tell us about the U.S. summit with China?
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: Jordan.
• 7:06
  Speaker 6: To fully understand the China summit, you must first understand China.
• 7:10
  Speaker 6: It's a proud but suspicious culture, driven by the fear
• 7:13
  Speaker 6: that at any moment, Godzilla might show up and tap
• 7:15
  Speaker 6: dance on everybody, all right? I'm talking stumping out buses
• 7:19
  Speaker 6: like cigarette butts.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, that is truly fascinating.
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, hang on.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: The f * * *? Godzilla is Japanese, you dipshits.
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: That's not Chinese.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Ronnie. I thought you said you didn't want
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: to be the China expert.
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: .
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Then let our China expert file his report. Josh, continue.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: Thank you, Jordan.
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: Yesterday, Trump and Xi sat down for a dinner of
• 7:57
  Speaker 6: a traditional Chinese dish.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: Pad Thai noodles.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: These?
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Hold on, hold on.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: Those are Thai. Pad Thai. Pad Thai Thai, like Thailand.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: I'm so sick of Americans making no effort to differentiate
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: the countries in Asia.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry, Ronnie. That sounds like something a China
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: expert would say. But I was under the impression you
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: weren't one.
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, why don't you leave China to the Chinese experts? Or,
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: as Mr.
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: Miyagi said in The Art of War, Hadouken!
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: That is, don't applaud that. That is so, that is
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: so ing ignorant. I don't even know how to reply
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: to that. You know what, fine, forget it. I don't
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: give a shit.
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 8:48
  Speaker 6: This summit comes at a tense time for President Trump,
• 8:51
  Speaker 6: who wants China to help with the Iran war, while
• 8:54
  Speaker 6: China wants America to help huntrix fight all the demons.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: Okay, that's... That's K-pop demon hunters. Yes, indeed.
• 9:05
  Speaker 6: It seems that Ronnie's son has learned much from me.
• 9:09
  Speaker 6: His Chinese sensei. Interesting fact, Jordan, the K in K-pop
• 9:14
  Speaker 6: is actually an ancient Chinese symbol, which translates to K-Chinese.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: This is very helpful.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: This is very helpful.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: I'm learning so much. Thank you, Josh.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: Thank you. No, you're not. Everyone is getting dumber. The
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: K in K-pop stands for Korean. Josh, you don't know
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: shit about China. It's not my fault I'm the second
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: most Chinese guy in.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: The office, okay? What the fuck does that even mean?
• 9:37
  Speaker 6: I don't know, but if I wasn't a Chinese expert,
• 9:41
  Speaker 6: how would I know every.
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: Member of the Wu-Tang Clan, all right? Watch, watch.
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: The RZA, the GZA, Ghostface Killer, Method Man, Raekwon, how
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: many can you name?
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: Okay, well, you took all of them. Annoying Wu-Tang doesn't
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: mean you know more about China.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Capadonna, Master Killer, Inspector Deck, Ugand, Old Dirty Bastard, holy shit!
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I know more about China than I thought. Suck it, Ronnie.
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, suck it, Ronnie. Shut up, shut the up, all
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: of you. God damn it. All right, fine. I'll be
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: the China expert. Okay. Okay, yeah.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: If you want to.
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: Awesome.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: If you want to. So, as the China expert, how
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: do you think America should navigate the Taiwanese independence and
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: the threat of war with China?
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: Okay, you know what? I'll pass.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: I'll pass on this one. And how about you, Josh,
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: you fix Taiwan.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: All right?
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: Happy to. Now, is Taiwan one of the demon hunters?
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Okay. Rodney Chang and Josh Johnson, everybody.