Latest / The Treehouse Show Podcast / It's FRIIIDAY! #13: All Aboard the Santa Train

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It's FRIIIDAY! #13: All Aboard the Santa Train · The Treehouse Show Podcast

0:24
Welcome inside the tree House. I'm Daniel Malley along with Trey Trendholm. We
0:31
are raj less today, too much turkey on the summit, but we will
0:37
power through and have a lot of fun as we do it, because even
0:46
though it is a holiday week, it is still a Friday in the tree
0:51
House, which is always something to smile about, but especially when it's also
0:56
a holiday Friday. So yeah, I don't want to waste any time.
1:03
Trey. I need to ask you about a odd text that you sent to
1:08
us the other day. You're a man who has not had a drop of
1:15
alcohol in seven years. I'm curious when you my friends send a text that
1:23
says you need to ask me about my Negroni story. So here I am
1:33
a Dan standing in front of a tray, asking what is your Negroni story?
1:42
Here is my Negroni story. I preface this by saying, there are
1:49
two drinks that make people very nervous to order when they are in mixed company,
1:57
especially around especially if the per since serving you happens to be black.
2:01
And there it's a Negro Modelo and a Negroni. Okay, this is where
2:09
I'd love to feign, you know, ignorance and not know why that would
2:15
be such an uncomfortable drink order. But I'm from the South. I had
2:19
a granny mm hmm. And it's just especially you know, people are worried
2:25
they're gonna get tongue tied or anything else, and so they get very nervous
2:30
about it. So as it happens. Uh there, I'm sorry, I'm
2:36
sorry, but serious. If if you're that worried about a slip of the
2:40
tongue by ordering a Negroni or a Negro MODELO, then that tells me you've
2:46
been using the other word too much and you need to stop it. You
2:53
are probably correct, but it is it's comical to see. Uh. And
3:00
here the white guilt. Yeah. There was one of the girls who is
3:08
a server where I work is is black and she was helping this table and
3:14
one of the gentlemen at the table wanted to order in a groany but he
3:17
simply could not get it out. He was just stuttering and stuttering and stuttering.
3:21
This. I happened to be standing close enough where I could kind of
3:23
watch this. So she goes, I'll tell you what, I'm gonna go
3:29
run this you I you to pick something up run to another table. I'll
3:30
come back. And she knows as she's laughing, and she comes to me
3:36
and she's telling me the story, and I said, I said, here's
3:38
what you do. I go, if we start studying, and I go
3:40
ask him to spell it and sure. And if you didn't think the guy
3:47
was already nervous enough, oh no, yeah, oh yeah, you better
3:58
make sure you get the right value. Well yeah, yeah, I mean
4:03
you've got five options six if you throw in the why if you want to,
4:08
you're gonna be pretty liberal about it, and there's only one you really
4:12
want to avoid. He changed his mind in order to Moscow mule. The
4:23
time at the bar where you got so flustered by the server of color that
4:28
you'd ordered instead a Moscow mule, That's where maybe technology could have been this
4:38
guy's friend. Type it into Google, ask Siri, hey, what's in
4:44
a negronie? And maybe then she would give you the proper spelling, or
4:49
you could pretend that you're from another country and have series say it for you.
4:58
I mean, there are options you just unfortunately I have the uh,
5:02
I have the ability to think about this a little bit more so than this
5:05
guy apparently did. But maybe now that he's had this unfortunate situation, maybe
5:12
he'll be prepared for the next time a server of color asks him what he
5:16
would like to order, and he'll know what to say and hopefully how to
5:21
spell it. All right, My money would go on, He'll just never
5:26
try to order one of those again. He's just done. There's just no
5:30
more's now, just forever Moscow mule. If he ever wanted a Negro Mandello,
5:38
I would I would guess He'll just go, Can I have one of
5:40
the dark Medellos please? I'm not sure that almost sounds worse. You're right,
5:46
it does, now that I said that out loud. Yeah, these
5:51
are things I've never had to think about, because I honestly I don't even
5:56
know what's in a NEGRONI I've Negro Mendella. I know it's beard, good
6:00
Mexican beer. I also love the regular Medelos campari sweet vermouth and gin.
6:08
It's what is kimpari. It's an Italian sweet liqueur because it's just red right.
6:15
Yes, yeah, I have I have long since pasted in my drinking
6:24
anything that looks like a hangover in a bottle. So if it's got you
6:29
know, a lot of color to it. I'm very hesitant to try it,
6:34
and if I do, it'll be in you know, small amounts,
6:36
because again I don't want to. I don't want to wake up with that
6:40
raging sugar hangover. Yeah, and that's I couldn't even tell you what.
6:46
It's been so long, I mean even before I quit drinking. I I
6:48
think I've had kimpari twice in my life. I want to say it's it's
6:55
fruityish, but I simply I don't remember and anything any even in my drinking
7:00
days. This is no matter how short I was on liquor how scarce it
7:06
was. They're, you know, I in the hierarchy of liquors, Like
7:13
they're at the bottom would be zema, oh, a wine cooler, and
7:18
then Gin. I like it. You keep Gin at the bottom. Oh,
7:25
it's just no uh uh. I've never of all the liquors, I've
7:29
never understood people's because I know and it's a quiet taste and everything else.
7:34
But nah, uh. You know what, My favorite gins are the ones
7:39
that don't taste like gin. And there are a couple out there that are
7:44
like that. And that's one of the crazy selling points to them, is
7:46
they position themselves as it's gin, but it don't. It doesn't taste like
7:51
gin. So at that point, while tasty, because it doesn't taste like
7:57
gin, it's pretty much just vodka. Yeah, that's just a clear liquor
8:03
that'll get you drunk. M hmm. I do appreciate, though, Trey,
8:05
that you as someone who was a professional drinker for many, many years.
8:13
Not just a professional, but in addition to going pro, you were
8:18
an All star, all part of the All Madden team. Yet you never
8:24
your depths, never reached so low as to be desperate enough to hop on
8:30
the Gin wagon. And you also managed to stay away from, you know,
8:35
the sugar bomb drinks that you mentioned, like the zemas and the and
8:39
the wine coolers. Oh yeah, no, never, never gin, Never
8:43
anything like that, ay, which I guess was also a testament the fact
8:48
I was kind of a boy scout, alcoholic, always prepared, you know,
8:54
silly me. I was thinking that you were well behaved. It's like,
8:56
no, that's just not true, and then sugary drinks. I the
9:01
worst hangover I ever had drinking was one day I decided someone said try this,
9:09
and it was It was in the summer, hot day and it was
9:13
an ace pear apple cider on ice, okay, you know, delicious,
9:20
and I started knocking those back. Oh I I I really never and I
9:28
was fortunate. I never got the you know, horrible hangovers or anything else.
9:31
And I mean I might have felt really bad, but it's not like
9:35
I've stayed in bed for a day or anything like that. But that I
9:37
you didn't because you had more drinking to do. Yeah, exactly, But
9:41
I remember that. God, I remember that headache that was. I was
9:46
like, oh, I will never touch that stuff again. I'm still kind
9:50
of caught on the uh, the alcoholic boy scout version of you, Like
9:54
there's so many possibilities there, like are you are you drinking and starting fires
10:00
with with adult supervision? What are you? What are your what do your
10:03
badges look like on the vest? Bottle caps? Ah, it's so obvious
10:13
now, I didn't I realize that. I like how you went. I
10:20
like how you graduated from bottle caps to chips. How was that? How
10:24
was that not like an AA slogan from bottle caps to chips? Or is
10:31
it? But you're just not allowed to talk about it because it's anonymous.
10:35
You know, I'm old enough maybe if you pull tabs. But you know
10:41
what, back in the day when when the Scouts first started, that was
10:45
back probably before any serious drinking age enforcement, so you might have actually had,
10:50
uh, you know, boy Scouts first, twelve pack badge or boy
10:54
Scouts first. You know, distiller, you got your whiskey badge. No,
11:05
I just always you know, especially on Saturdays before nine o'clock. I
11:09
always knew had to get your liquor store, you know, make sure you
11:13
get through through the weekend and otherwise you'd have to go into the wood and
11:18
start making your own. Yeah, just like your child. Get out the
11:24
whole Boy Scout manual. It's funny see, I used the Boy Scout Manual
11:30
to teach me how to tie a neck tie. You clearly got way more
11:33
use out of yours. You're listening to the Treehouse. Visit is online at
11:43
Treehouse on air dot com. This week at the Dallas Comedy Club in d
11:52
LM. It's Dallas's own Seri raj I think you guys are all spoiled now,
11:54
all these young beautiful women becoming yoga instructors. You know. No,
11:58
I'm his name, My name is Guru Jessica. We're gonna get into downward
12:01
dog. I didn't have that growing up. I was doing yoga before it
12:05
was popular. You know who I had old Indian day stringy hair loincloth.
12:16
He was. He was really into those breeding facial yogus. That's Sri Raj
12:26
This Friday, November twenty fourth at the Dallas Comedy Club and on Saturday,
12:30
November twenty fifth, it's the Potluck Stand up Showcase. For tickets, go
12:33
to Dallas Dashcomedy Club dot com. That's Dallas Dashcomedy Club dot com. Your
12:37
new home for comedy inn DFW is the Dallas Comedy Club. Funny Happens Here
12:43
Club. Visit us online at Treehouse on Air dot com. You're in the
12:52
Treehouse, you visit us online at Treehouse on air dot com. This segment
13:05
of the Treehouse is brought to you by our friends at Cook DFW Roofing and
13:11
Restoration. Give them a coffee or free roof inspection eight three to three cook
13:15
DFW. That's eight three three cook DFW. The website cookdfw dot com and
13:22
also ded dimension our friends and sponsors at the Dallas Comedy Club where you can
13:30
see Raj' his friend Suri raj I believe that's actually double check if that's tonight
13:37
or if that was tomorrow night at the Dallas Comedy Club, your new home
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for comedy in North Texas. It is, in fact the Dallas Comedy Club.
13:48
Inde Bellum Funny happens here. For a ticket info go to Dallas Dashcomedy
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Club dot com. That's Dallas Dash Comedy Club. Comedy five nights a week
14:01
at the Dallas Comedy Club. Let's not waste any more time, Tray with
14:05
the stories of negronies and such and often overlooked boy scout badges. Let's get
14:13
into some birthdays. Today, of course, is Friday, November twenty fourth,
14:24
twenty twenty three. Birthdays today Sarah Hyland, who played Hayley on the
14:30
TV show Modern Family. She turns thirty three today. She is also married
14:39
somewhat recently. The last couple of years she married a radio guy. Tray,
14:43
did you know this? No, there's a radio guy named Wells.
14:48
I believe. I want to say he was on in Nashville for a while.
14:54
He was on the air. He was an iHeart on air personality.
14:58
I know because he was in our in our email on the iHeart network.
15:03
So I could have been so he had a radio gig with iHeart and then
15:09
he did the Bachelor. I guess in his case, he did the Bachelorette.
15:15
Obviously he did not win, and he became a fan favorite and eventually
15:20
met Sarah Highland, the actress, and the two are now married. Yeay,
15:24
Hollywood romance. I would think, I I would think a man or
15:35
woman, if you you know, met someone who had been a contestant on
15:39
one of those shows, it would just even for me. And they could
15:43
be crazy and hot. You just that's a red flag you can't get past.
15:48
So even you, Trey have limits. It's yes, you want You're
15:52
happy with it with a with a crazy, hot woman. You want that
15:56
that is that is your kryptonite. But that's the kryptonite that you seek out.
16:00
However, you don't want the hot, crazy reality show contestant, correct.
16:08
I think that's wise. I think I think it was wise of you
16:11
to see Flavor Flav's show as a cautionary tale for yourself. Uh well,
16:18
and as it happens, you know, I I said, I actually dated
16:23
a girl before she went on a reality show, and it was the same
16:30
reality show that there was a girl that was interested in Russ was on and
16:36
uh yeah that and after I knew she was crazy, the one I dated
16:42
and then the one that tried to date Russ I actually ended up working with
16:47
at one point and yeah, no, uh huh, that's that is that
16:52
is one of the few you know, Aggie reality show that's those are two
16:57
big, you know red flags you just can't get past. Those are your
17:00
two deal breakers afterwards. Can't cannot have attended Texas A and M, and
17:07
cannot be a reality show contestant, especially where you know it's a reality show
17:11
that where relationships are on the line. So your worst nightmare then would be
17:18
a woman who showed any interest in you that was on an Aggie's Finding Love
17:23
reality show that at that point you might just be like, yeah, I
17:33
am, I am, I'm I'm now done. Yeah, I'd rather be
17:37
alone at least watch watch football and piece other birthdays today. Actress Catherine Heigel,
17:45
she turns forty five, really made it big on the TV show Gray's
17:49
Anatomy. She had some movies as well that she did. She also has
17:56
some other TV shows that have not fared out very well. State of Affairs
18:00
and Doubt. Don't people really I'm not sure if Doubt was a TV show
18:03
or just what the what her agent thought of her, Yeah, don't and
18:07
she one of those people really don't like working with. That is that is
18:11
the Hollywood rumor that keeps following her around. I believe she even uh was
18:18
asked about that, I think by Oprah and she's like, no, I
18:21
love people and blah blah blah blah blah. It's like, man, if
18:22
you're one of the people that you have to say that there might be a
18:26
problem there, because in Hollywood there seems to be a lot of smoke,
18:33
Like there seems to be fire where there's smoke. A lot of times it
18:36
doesn't just come out of nowhere, you know, Yeah, I mean it's
18:40
and sometimes you like you're not surprised by I mean, like the I don't
18:47
know why everyone is so shocked in this the p Diddy lawsuit with some girl
18:49
that you knows h that he was doing all sorts of bad things. Mm
18:59
hmm. I know. I remember seeing that headline, you know, Sean
19:03
P. Diddy Coombs or whatever his current name is slapped with whatever lawsuit and
19:08
then the very next day settled and led to a lot of speculation of hmm.
19:18
There must have been some things he really didn't want to have come out.
19:21
Here's a bunch of money in a non disclosure agreement. Okay, thanks
19:23
bye. Also, I don't know if you remember this Catherine Heigel. I
19:27
remember the first time I remember knowing of her existence was a movie back in
19:33
the nineties, so she was also a child star. There was a movie
19:38
she did. I cannot recall the name of it, but because I watch
19:41
pretty much anything, I remember seeing this. She played the teenage daughter of
19:47
Gerard de Pardieu in a movie where she is young and I think she's like
19:52
sixteen or something, and she's trying to become a woman, and he is
19:56
of course uncomfortable with it, which is really uncomfortable for everybody because had it
20:02
not been a movie and it been real live, he would have been hitting
20:03
on her, speaking of inappropriate things. But I remember that movie because it
20:10
was super controversial because or at least controversial enough at the time, because she's
20:15
starring in this movie and there's a scene where she's in a thong swimsuit and
20:21
he's chasing her trying to cover her up. Whereas by today's standards, I've
20:23
seen parents at the beach photographing the child in the thong, going oh you
20:27
like great, honey, Yeah, let's get one for the Graham mm hmm.
20:33
It's such a weird thing to see parents act as the you know,
20:37
the Instagram photographer. Yeah. I mean well, I guess in the back
20:45
of their mind they're all going it works for the Kardashians, man, So
20:49
if that's what they're shooting during the day. A couple of other birthdays,
20:57
I wanted to mention Colin Haynes, son of Tom Hanks. He is forty
21:02
six today. He doesn't have the same level of credits that his dad did
21:07
at the same age, I don't think, but a really really good actor
21:12
in his own right. Yeah, no, he is. He what's the
21:17
one that what's the is it? I guess it's his brother that wants to
21:19
be the rapper or whatever. Yeah, that's Chet, Yeah, Chet,
21:25
which you know, why would first of all, Tom Hanks, why would
21:30
you name your kid Chet? Yeah? Did you not learn from Weird Science?
21:33
That's a horrible name. Yeah, they don't make Chets anymore. There's
21:38
a reason why Weird Science. The movie ruined it. Right, So in
21:44
Tom Hanks's defense, I believe Chet was born before the movie Weird Science came
21:48
out, and because Chet was the older brother who got I believe turned into
21:52
it like a big turd, like a talking turd in that movie. Right,
21:56
So yeah, that pretty much ruined the name Chet forever. And fortunately
22:00
for Chet and for Tom Hanks, I think he already had the name before
22:03
the movie came out, but they didn't change it. Yeah. Still,
22:07
I don't know why you would do that to your kid. Just name him
22:12
Tom Junior. Yeah, everyone would be fine with that. It's a good
22:18
name. It's a good, solid one. Unless Tom knew that, Like
22:22
when the kid came out, He's like, huhuh, somehow he knew this
22:27
was just gonna be bad. He and Rito were partying the night Chet was
22:33
conceived. I wonder what that badge looked like. Also, Stephen Merchant turned
22:44
forty seven. He co created the British version of the Office with Ricky Gervais,
22:48
but he did not star in it like Ricky did, so he's not
22:52
as famous, but he has made and been in a number of other things.
22:56
He's actually he's a really good actor. He's very funny, tall,
23:00
lanky British dude with glasses and blonde hair, but very funny. Want to
23:03
mention him. Also, Denise Crosby, I forget Trey. Were you big
23:07
on Star Trek the Next Generation? Oh? Yeah, So she played Tasha
23:11
Yar briefly on Star Trek the Next Generation. She also had a role in
23:17
The Walking Dead as a cannibal. But I'm gonna focus on how she played
23:21
Tasha Yar on Star Trek the Next Generation because there is some controversy because she
23:25
did not get She did not make it to the second season of Star Trek
23:30
the Next Generation, and some believe that it might be because she appeared nude
23:36
in Playboy If it was probably around the same time. Yeah, I can
23:42
see that. Yeah, I remember she was a security officer and then she
23:48
died and that gave way to Wharf. I feel like there's a wharf joke
23:56
in there with her spread out in the Playboy as well. I just can't
24:00
quite land on it now. She did come back to make some cameo appearances
24:03
and some storylines, but on Star Trek or Playboy Big Star Trek. Yeah,
24:15
she was hot back then, though, mm hm, who do you
24:21
who do you think would have sold more issues of Playboy? Denise Crosby or
24:26
wharf. Michael Dorn's a good looking man. Oh no, you're listening to
24:44
the Treehouse. Visit us online that Treehouse on air dot com. Let's talk
24:52
to Daniel Cook from COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration eight three three. Cook df w's
24:57
the phone number to get your free roof inspection. The website where you can
25:00
see all the excellent work that they do and have done is of course cookedfw
25:06
dot com. It's we're fresh off of Thanksgiving, Daniel, and I'm curious,
25:11
what are or what were your Thanksgiving staples? What are they each and
25:15
every year? The things that you have to have on the table to make
25:18
Thanksgiving complete. You know, I hate saying this, but I grew up
25:23
on that can cranberry sauce. And Carrie hates it. Okay, Carrie thinks
25:29
it's the most disgusting thing. It's like in her in her probably thought thinking
25:33
it's like spam almost. But to me, I grew up on that stuff,
25:37
but the real and I've gotten over it now because she makes this wonderful
25:41
cranberry you know, mixture that's all real cranberries and all kinds of other ingredients,
25:48
and she spends a lot of time making it and it tastes fantastic.
25:51
But it's like ever so often I get this urge to go get a can
25:55
of cranberry sauce and open up and just eat it out of the can,
25:56
just to say I can still enjoy it. Is that what you're doing between
26:00
roof inspections is your your wolfing down cans of cranberry sauce. Cranberry's are extremely
26:06
healthy for you. Man keeps you all nice and cleaned up, and you
26:10
know it's all worked out. Man, Well, the good news is you
26:12
and my wife have something in common, and me and your wife have something
26:17
in common. I do not like like Carrie the can cranberry sauce, but
26:22
my wife Tara has to have it. She loves the gelatinous thing that that
26:26
slops out of the can and still looks like the inside of the can on
26:32
the outside. She loves that. So you two could have your own Thanksgiving
26:34
table and Carrie and I will have hours with our regular food on It sounds
26:40
like a date. I can't wait, all right, be sure and give
26:42
Daniel Cook from cook DFW Roofing and Restoration a call for that free roof inspection
26:48
after he's done eating his can of cranberry sauce eight three to three cook dfw
26:52
ORCOKDFW dot com. It's the freehouse. Let's talk to Jacqueline from Brooks Plumbing
26:57
right now in the treehouse. Their phone number four any and all of your
27:00
plumbing once and needs two one to four thirty six, eight thirty eight thirty
27:03
eight. The website Brooks Plumbing, Texas dot com. Jacqueline. For someone
27:07
that's that's currently in their house, what are some good smart upgrades they can
27:11
make with their plumbing? I think, I mean, I'm trying to think
27:18
about. I think the number one thing that I can think of right now
27:21
would be a floodstop. So, especially if your water heater is located in
27:25
your attic, the last thing you want it to do is burst and you
27:29
come home and it's just raining in your house. That have had that happen
27:33
to many many people, And people are like, oh, the solution is
27:36
a tankless water heater. Yeah, that's definitely an option, but it's very
27:38
very expensive. But for a couple hundred dollars, we can put in a
27:41
floodstop where there's a sensor that sits underneath your your water heater and if it
27:45
detects any moisture. It just shuts it off for you. And what more
27:48
could you ask for than to have basically it's like water heater AI, just
27:53
to have a little robot homie that's like not here today. And in case
27:56
it does, or you want to prevent it from happening, then you give
27:59
Jim from Brooks Plumbing a call right now. Two one four three six eight
28:03
thirty eight thirty eight, or of course Brooks Plumbing Texas dot com. You're
28:08
listening to the Treehouse. Visit us online a treehouse on air dot com.
28:15
This segment of the Treehouse is brought to you by Brooks Plumbing for any and
28:22
all of your plumbing needs, all our good, good good friends at Brooks
28:26
Plumbing two one four three six eight thirty eight thirty eight. That's two one
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four three six eight thirty eight thirty eight, or the website Brooks Plumbing Texas
28:36
dot com. Trey, what was it you were saying? I need to
28:40
google? Oh google Biden birthday cake? Oh is it his birthday recently?
28:48
I don't think I've seen that. Yeah, whoever whoever did his cake and
28:52
at the White House really deserves to be fired, all right, Hang on,
29:00
Okay, biden birthday cake and results, Oh, come on, they
29:14
actually put eighty one candles on that damn thing. Why would you do that?
29:18
Just do what everyone else does. Just buy an eight candle and a
29:21
one candle and you're done. I don't know. There was this Joe Biden's
29:26
birthday cake fire hazards. There was one still of him and they cut the
29:32
cake out and they said, it looks like Biden just opened the Ark of
29:33
the Covenant because it's so bright. Yeah, typically it's not. Typically it's
29:44
not a good idea for any eighty one year old to be near that amount
29:48
of fire. No, and like at fifty you'd be hard pressed to blow
29:56
out that many candles that an eighty one year old not gonna blow out of
29:59
it many candles. Why are you doing that to him? Where they the
30:03
joke spark candles? Seriously? Like the biggest knock on the guy right now
30:12
is that he's, you know, his age, and people are questioning his
30:18
you know, can he make it and everything else, and then you do
30:21
that to him. Yeah, let's let's not throw lung capacity into the categories
30:25
of concern. Gavin Newsom in the in the Kitchen baking the cake going.
30:33
I like this from the Hill Biden marks one hundred and forty sixth the birthday,
30:36
the flowing cake. Oh god, that is good. Yeah, I'm
30:44
with you. I think at a certain point. I don't even know what
30:45
point it is, because you know me, I'm not a huge birthday guy.
30:48
I cannot remember the last birthday I had that had any candles period.
30:52
But I tell you right now, I am well past the age where I
30:56
want a candle for every year I've been alive. That is long gone.
31:00
Yeah, no, nobody wants that. It's uh. I think it was
31:07
around my fortieth that I got one with a bunch of candles, and it
31:10
was very depressing. I really don't want one, damn sure to want one
31:14
for my next one. I think I was there for that when was at
31:17
the Fiery Brunch. Yeah, I think that. No, that was like
31:19
thirty eight, but yeah, around that, Yeah, that was a lot
31:25
of candles. That was nothing like. I'm glad to know that you and
31:30
I are still in each other's lives though. Yeah. All right, speaking
31:37
of things that you should not do, let's jump into some news. Let's
31:41
get stupid as opposed to the last two segments. Well, this is just
31:48
more official stupid because it's actual journalist getting paid to inform us about things,
31:56
right such as this. You know me, I believe that words are extremely
32:02
important. I also think headlines and the words headlines use are extremely important.
32:09
And I have a great example. Are you ready? H This is the
32:14
headline from the messenger dot com. Okay, Tennessee man arrested for duy and
32:22
meth while driving lawnmower Santa's train full of kids. I understand that headline.
32:30
It seems a bit wordy, but it's but every one of those words is
32:35
essential, and I'm going to show you why. Okay. Another version of
32:39
this headline could have been man arrested for driving lawnmower full of kids, Okay,
32:50
which would be bad. Yeah, because I'm assuming, based on that
32:54
headline he's run them over with the lawnmower. And the other version of this,
33:00
which would be possibly worse, man arrested for pulling a Santa train.
33:07
That would have been a very different news story. Yeah. So once again,
33:15
words matter. It was actually a Tennessee man was arrested after he allegedly
33:22
drove children while under the influence at a Christmas tractor parade last Saturday unfolded in
33:30
the small northern Tennessee town of Tazewell. Man. That's the only thing this
33:35
story is missing. Yeah, so the Santa Tractor parade. Yeah, Henry
33:44
Mead was driving Santa's Train, which is a motorized lawnmower, pulling carts of
33:50
children, when witnesses alleged that he was acting erratically. He was reportedly unsteady
33:57
on his feet and failed to field sobriety test. Police found meth, narcotics
34:01
and a syringe when they took him into custody. No, no one thought
34:07
that, Joe, Hey, you hooked a trailer up to your you're riding
34:10
law more, come over here, give me a breath. Blow into this.
34:15
Try it's northern Tennessee. I can't imagine he was the only one that's
34:19
true, which is northern Tennessee is kind of southern Kentucky. So yeah,
34:22
that's enough. Also, there's another one that I uh that gave me pause
34:35
to put it nicely, and that was the guy in Florida who got arrested
34:42
for pleasuring himself while riding around on a bicycle. Because it's it's Florida.
34:47
I I didn't know which way it was going to go. If you know
34:52
he was pleasuring himself manually, or if you know he was getting a prostate
34:57
massage. No, that's act a great that's a great point you bring up
35:01
because when you see a headline like, uh, a man pleasuring himself while
35:06
riding a bike, to me, the natural question is did it have a
35:12
seat? Yeah, that's exactly and it's Florida, so you've assume no Disney
35:21
part guests are reportedly pooping while waiting in long line. Jesus and I thought
35:28
the lines were bad at six Flags. Oh oh, I don't know if
35:44
Disney has it, but six Flags sells the VIP pass to get you to
35:49
the front of the line. Do that, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
35:52
fast pass type thing. Yeah, I know actually, or make a
35:54
fast pass to the bathroom. Thanks for hanging out with us in the Treehouse
36:00
Friday edition. We will catch up with you next week Monday for the next
36:07
episode of The Treehouse Podcast. We will see you then,