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Why Doesn't the Narcissist Want You to Succeed? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Going on beautiful folks. So why don't narcissists and
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  toxic people want you to succeed?
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  Why do they try to hold you back?
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  Why don't they want to see you, their partner, their life
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  partner, their friend, their family member?
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  Why don't they want to see you doing well, or at least better
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  than them? That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist here to give you the and give you a look inside the
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  mind of a narcissist. Welcome to another episode of
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  the Narcissist Code. Boom.
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  Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
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  Yes, narcissistic people, toxic people do not want you to
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  succeed. Most of them don't y'all let's
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  keep it hot and ready. Y'all know I try not to just
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  blast people and make it seem like narcissist or monolith and
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  they everybody just it's A1 size fits all type of thing like a
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  like a like a scrunchie or a hat or something like that or shirt,
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  whatever the case may be right. So it's in this space right here
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  to hop right into it. Most narcissistic people don't
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  want you to succeed because they are jealous of you.
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  Just keep it high off the RIP. They are absolutely, positively,
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  positively jealous of you. They absolutely are.
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  Shout out to Judith for joining China memberships.
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  They are. They are jealous of you.
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  So if they're always going to be jealous of you and competing
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  with you and trying to use whatever they can against you,
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  they're not going to want you to succeed.
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  Especially, yeah, especially if your success is outdoing them.
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  If your quote UN quote success is making you go above and
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  beyond them, then hell no, they absolutely do not want you to
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  succeed. Hell no, they do not want you to
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  succeed. They don't want you to do it.
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  They don't want you to have any type of success outside of them
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  or the relationship dynamic as a whole.
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  You see what I'm saying? And this happens to every single
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  person that is dealing with a narcissistic person.
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  Unless. There's always a unless.
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  Unless they can somehow take credit for your success.
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  If they can take credit for your success, it's a whole different
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  ball game, right? If I can somehow, some way,
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  shape or form take credit for your success, then by all means
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  be successful. Just make sure that you let
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  everybody know that you're only successful because of me, right?
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  You only successful because of me.
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  Just make a make sure you let them know.
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  I know you got the degree, but make sure you let them know that
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  I'm the one who dropped you off at school.
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  Those times when you had when your car broke down.
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  So you how you how you going to take a test if you couldn't get
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  to school? Make sure you let them know that
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  it was me that was doing that stuff for you.
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  Make sure that you let them know that it wasn't just you right
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  there. Latasha, what's going on?
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  Said this came across my phone. I clicked so fast.
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  Listen, my my kids daddy was a silly man.
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  I tried to help him and he benefited.
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  I positioned him in so many ways that he chose not to.
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  Yeah. So this is the cause.
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  Y'all gotta understand. That's another reason I'm glad
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  you brought the love, Latasha. They don't want you to succeed
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  because they like living in this bubble that they are currently
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  living in right now. It's the truth.
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  They don't want you to be successful because if they are
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  not successful themselves, they don't want you outdoing them and
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  making them feel worthless. They don't want you discrediting
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  them. They don't want you taking away
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  from their value or their their power, their self esteem or
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  anything like that. So if I'm comfortable being bum
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  like, I didn't say a bum bum like, then I want you to be
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  comfortable being bum like as well.
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  You are. You are also a bum.
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  This is the stuff that happens right here.
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  They get stuck in their comfort zone.
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  Absolutely. I don't want you to succeed if
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  it's going to pull me outside of my comfort zone.
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  You see the selfish mindset of narcissistic people like I don't
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  want you to succeed if it pulls me out of my comfort zone.
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  You need to be comfortable in my comfort zone.
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  And this is the crazy y'all. And this is the crazy thing
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  about it as well. Like they will blame you not
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  only for you not being if you don't reach your goals well
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  because you're with them and they held you back.
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  They will blame you for being with them, for being not for
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  being a successful, not achieving your goals and dreams.
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  And then they'll also, like Latasha said, blame you for what
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  happened to them. They'll blame you for not only
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  for what happened to you, but also blame you for what happened
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  to them as well. I'm killing myself laughing at
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  this, 'cause he did what he wanted to do.
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  It was my fault. Absolutely.
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  You should have told me. No.
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  You knew I You knew I don't know how to cut no grass.
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  You know I ain't never. I ain't never cut grass in my
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  life. I grew up in an apartment
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  complex. I ain't never cut grass in my
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  life. I told you I want to start a
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  landscaping business and you let me buy a zero turn mower knowing
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  I didn't know how to mow no damn grass.
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  It's your fault, Latasha. Get the hell out of my face.
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  You did this, Latasha. You did this.
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  That's how I go right there. You know, this is when you're in
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  this relationship, when you're in this type of relationship
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  dynamic, this is one of the things you have to understand
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  that narcissistic people don't want to be your significant
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  other. They want to be a significant
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  hindrance. They want to be a significant
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  burden. They want to be a significant
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  whole significant obstacle. They don't want to be the person
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  that's going to help you to thrive and grow.
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  They want to be the person that's going to absolutely hold
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  you back from accomplishing anything and everything in your
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  life. They want to hold you back and
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  then they'll, they'll hold you back and then they'll blame you.
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  They'll, they'll, they'll hold you back and then they'll blame
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  you for not achieving your goal. So this is the type of stuff
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  right here, like when you're dealing with a narcissist job,
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  you got to understand this. You're damned if you do and
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  you're damned if you don't. So you might as well safely pick
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  the damned that is that helps you out the most.
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  Pick the damned that you can live with the most because
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  that's going to be want to be the thing that protects you the
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  most. Choose the damned that's going
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  to protect you or help you heal or help you grow.
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  What is going on, Ebony? How you doing?
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  What is up? What is up, What's up?
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  But you have to choose the damned that's going to benefit
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  you the most because who said it right there?
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  Sabotage. Yes, they're going to sabotage
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  you. They're going to make it seem
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  like they didn't do anything or have any.
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  You know, I didn't. I had nothing to do.
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  What? What happened to you?
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  What happened to you was a grave error or grave mistake.
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  I had nothing to do with that. You did that.
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  It's your fault. And then when it they'll blame
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  you. And then they'll get angry with
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  you. And then they'll hold you
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  accountable for your failures even when they try to hold you
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  back. I promise you this.
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  This. Yeah.
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  It's crazy. Makes my head hurt a little bit.
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  It really does. Too much competition.
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  Yes. A lot of narcissistic people
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  don't try to achieve their own goals because of too much
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  competition and a huge a massive fear of failure.
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  Fear of failure, F of F fear of failure.
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  They don't want to fail and then look bad in front of you.
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  They absolutely do not want to do that.
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  So a lot of times they will absolutely sabotage you along
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  with sabotaging themselves. This is what happens.
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  This is what transpires. This is how it plays out, right?
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  It happened to me. Yeah, I bet.
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  Hey, a lot of people go through it.
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  Y'all, I'm just, I'm being, I'm keeping it hot.
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  Y'all know, I keep it hot and ready over here.
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  A lot of people grow, grow. A lot of people go through this
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  similar situation with toxic, narcissistic, abusive people.
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  It's part of it. And I mean, I know I'm just
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  like, I'm trying to keep it. I'm trying to keep it steady.
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  But it becomes a big part of what's going on, how these
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  relationship dynamics end up going.
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  Like they try to hurt you and harm you and just try to take
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  you that like try to pull, try to pull you down a notch, right?
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  Try to pull you down a peg. They don't want you to outdo
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  them, right? They don't want you to outdo
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  them. They want you to stay.
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  They want they want to remain stagnant in their comfort zone
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  and they want you to be comfortable in their comfort
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  zone with you, right? They want you to be, they want
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  you to be comfortable in their comfort zone with them.
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  They don't want you to outdo them.
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  They're jealous of you. They will try to hold you back.
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  You ever had an you ever had something important going on the
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  next day that would help you become more successful?
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  And then did and then the night before out of nowhere, y'all are
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  arguing and fussing and fighting.
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  You're trying to get your partner, you're trying to get
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  your partner to talk to you. Hey partner, can you please talk
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  to me? You haven't talked to me all
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  day. What's going on?
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  Can you like we're you've been silent all day.
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  What's going on? Is there anything I've done
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  wrong? And they never tell you what
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  you've done wrong. They never keep it real with
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  you. They never keep it hot and ready
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  with you. They just keep saying the same
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  kind of shit over and over again.
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  They keep doing the same type of stuff over and over again.
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  They never, ever give you a direct answer like the night
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  before. You have something important.
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  I got to get up tomorrow, babe. I have to get up tomorrow.
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  Tomorrow I have a, a big test tomorrow I have a, a work event
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  tomorrow. I have to do this tomorrow.
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  I have to finish this. The night before they arguing
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  and fussing and fighting and they might leave the house or
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  threaten to harm themselves. I have, I've had people before.
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  I'll do my coaching calls with y'all.
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  Yeah, I, I still do my one on ones.
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  My one on ones. Everything is available at
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  mentalillness.net. It's like I've done these
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  coaching calls before with people and like they said that
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  the night before, something big happened.
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  The narcissistic partner or a parent or whoever it is because
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  your parents try to hold you back too right, will throw a fit
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  and threaten to harm themselves. I'm going to unalign myself
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  because of this. Like if you leave me in the
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  morning, you see how I am right now.
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  I'm hyperventilating. You going to leave?
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  I'm going to take that test even though I can't breathe.
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  And then like when you missed the test because you want to
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  take care of them, all of a sudden they all of a sudden
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  they're better out of nowhere. They're all of a sudden they're
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  feeling better. They're like, thanks for staying
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  with me. I know is you.
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  You're going to be late for your I know you're too late for your
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  test, but I really appreciate you staying with me.
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  I don't know what got over me. I'm all better now.
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  Do do do do do. And now you've missed your test
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  and things like that. The father of my kids kept
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  saying, I'm saying I'm lazy for working part time to take care
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  of our kids. Now I'm working same hours like
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  him. Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep.
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  But now his, his job is probably harder than yours, right?
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  I do manual labor. You know you.
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  I'm in the warehouse throwing bricks and mortar all day.
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  You taking phone calls? You were going to call center
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  girl. You do nothing like me.
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  You not like me. And I see the see as failures to
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  the purpose of trying to make you feel, Yep, they try to make
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  you fail and then they'll hold you back again.
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  Y'all, when when they hold you back, they will blame you for
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  you being held back. That's just, that's just one of
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  the tough things to understand. But they will absolutely hold
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  you back. They will absolutely hold you
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  back for holding for for failing.
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  You mean they'll hold you accountable for you failing when
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  they held you back? Appreciate it.
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  I'm out. Don't wait, Don't wait up.
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  Yeah, I appreciate it. Yeah, don't wait up.
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  Go do your thing. Like if you feel like their
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  narcissistic partner or ex, whatever is trying to throw a
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  monkey wrench in your plans and your success, don't wait on
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  them. Y'all.
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  Go do what you need to do. Seriously and what not y'all.
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  So before I hop off this thing, y'all, I got to let y'all know I
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  we have a live in person event we're coming to look.
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  We're coming to St. Louis, MO in Durham, NC on April
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  5th and also April the 12th. So Saint Louis will be in Saint
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  Louis will be like I said, Saint Louis April 5th, will be in
• 13:19
  Saint Louis on April the 5th and it will be in Durham, NC on
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  April the 12th for our next in person workshops.
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  Y'all next in person workshops? Myself and NIA Renee, my partner
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  right here, will be in our next workshops in person, live and in
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  person on April the 5th and April the 12th.
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  Everything you can find, everything right here, y'all,
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  and scrubbed across the bottom of the screen.
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  Mental illness.net/events. Mental illness.net/events.
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  We'll see y'all in Durham and what you call it as well.
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  Durham and Saint Louis as well, y'all.
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  Anyway, y'all, I got to hop off this thing.
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  I had to finish, finish up recording some videos for the
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  rest of the week. Be safe, take care of
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  yourselves, and as always y'all, as always, mental illness,
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  reject Peach. Peach, not Peach.