Latest / Chucks Cantina / Episode 164: Its Been A While.
Transcript
- 0:07This is Chuck's canteena podcast where anything and everything is up for discussion. And
- 0:15now here's your barman, Chuck o'donald h can you hear me now, tuppy,
- 0:30I'm trying to ah yall, what do you stitch from leading and stitch
- 0:38I forcopy about? Fuck you? Damn you gummy? How are you?
- 0:46I'm doing good? Give me one second? No, he's starting down?
- 0:50No, no, yeah, you dud jump on. That means you in
- 0:54ship. If you're not here and I'm not here, who are you?
- 1:00I'm I turn you down on my headphones. No Jesus Christ and michaelphone's like,
- 1:07oh, we gotta find new peaks for this guy. Like please send
- 1:12in for repair. Repair is not happening available, repairs not available, repair
- 1:23not possible. Please try again. Damn So what's up? Man? So
- 1:30we're actually starting ship? All right? Do it? Live man, let's
- 1:36do it. No, we're doing fine. No, great fun. It's
- 1:40got to do the intro. If I've only been gone for a couple of
- 1:47weeks, need to get me back all this. It has been a little
- 1:52while, hasn't it. Yes, let me uh, let me address that
- 1:56elephant in the romal cork elephants. Now where are you? You know you
- 2:01put your trunk away? No trunk doesn't go there, No Jesus right,
- 2:12this is gonna be a long podcast, so yes, So first off,
- 2:15welcome to Chuck's Cantina. I'm your fair apartment host. I'll call me Chuck
- 2:17O. G Patron joined us today yet I am drinking high quality H two
- 2:22out of Stanley. What do you drink? I'm drinking some high quality H
- 2:25two mixed with a little high quality liquid IV, a little passion through flavors,
- 2:30trying to get hydrated, a little hydrated, trying to get trying to
- 2:35get a hydrated on Friday night? Would you? Uh? Would you?
- 2:37Would you gotta going on over there? You you got a little alrighty,
- 2:42then that can just find so the lady uh to complaint out to d C
- 2:49to visit some family and uh noise. I'm just holding it down on the
- 2:52fourth try not to get to when wild Bamba shell for ship up been sliding
- 3:00in the living room. Put some baby over over man showing bitch trying to
- 3:04reach the shawn barrier, trying to break the shawn barrier. I don't even
- 3:14how to follow that one up. So kind of similar to you. So,
- 3:17yes, it's been a couple of weeks since I've been on Urban in
- 3:21the Cantina. I appreciate all of your support while I've been gone. I've
- 3:27been you know, every every I would still check on the uh you know,
- 3:30I guess not rate static statistics. You know you guys are still listening.
- 3:36Appreciate that for this reason. This last week alone, Alexa was the
- 3:39top performer in terms of like playing Chucks Cantina. So thanks for asking Alexa
- 3:45to play Chucks Cantina. Wow. You know, so never really set it
- 3:53out right, but kind of made some allusions to it. We talked about
- 3:57it briefly here and there. So yes, I am also solo at the
- 4:00moment, holding out, holding out on my own ford if you will.
- 4:06We did the episode one sixty three was us talking about my beautiful wife's birthday
- 4:14party and we kind of made a little allusion to it. Yes, it
- 4:15was a going away party, LN serry short. She is over in Germany
- 4:18right now, kicking ass working uh for a very big interim assignment. It
- 4:25is gonna be a longer one already got trips going out to see and all
- 4:28that stuff. So uh, I mean, doing a couple of toasts here.
- 4:30Even I'm drinking high Coadge two, I'm trying to say hydrel. So
- 4:33this is to my wife. Let me get a big zip here, salute.
- 4:41And then also, uh, she's not alone. No, she's with
- 4:43our wonderful, wonderful, wonderful little boy, Tully. He made the journey
- 4:47with her, and I gotta give it an again, you know, I
- 4:50I We've always I mean, obviously, if you disagree with me, please
- 4:55be say your piece. I've always been the one to say, there's no
- 4:58such she's a bad dog. Only a bad dog, only bad owners or
- 5:00bad trainers, if you will. In terms of the flight and everything like
- 5:04that, he was nothing but a dream. So I'm glad to hear that,
- 5:08because that's definitely not an easy journey. That's something that takes all damn
- 5:12day. So I'm glad to hear that he was nothing but a pleasant pleasant
- 5:17to the boy, my boy, my boyd Telly on the flat over to
- 5:21Jumanee, if you will, so good. Yeah, I'm glad that worked
- 5:27out. No, I'm glad too, And I'll tell a funny story about
- 5:30that process here in a second. But yeah, I know, so that's
- 5:31where been the last couple of weeks. Took some time off just to spend
- 5:34with my wife, get some things in order, went to a couple of
- 5:38weddings, A couple Yeah Texas guy, He's like, oh wait, the
- 5:42wedding, Like, what the hell? It's not getting married? How many
- 5:46people don't not getting married? Many people don't getting married wedding. I mean
- 5:50there's there's still a few more. I know they're gonna get married. I
- 5:54don't think anytime soon. So but that was that. I'm trying to knock
- 5:58out my desk and I completely will did and knocked on my fridge, so
- 6:00that hurt. It's been it's been a long week, ladies. It's been
- 6:04a very long week. As Patrick is over there rubbing sticks together, make
- 6:09some firewood or make some it sounds like you're rubbing something, would you hey
- 6:13now anyway? Nor sorry, I don't rubbin anything. I forgot forgot the
- 6:21cough one micro sorry but no. So it's uh, you know, it
- 6:27was a nice couple of weeks, just you know, getting back in the
- 6:30river things. Now, getting my house. That's about taking this weekend just
- 6:32to get my house in order because we've been you know, just been joining
- 6:35ourselves last couple of weeks, spending time together, been at weddings. As
- 6:39someone said here a second ago. Uh yeah, no, it's uh,
- 6:43it's good to be back in the Cantina. Sorry if you miss sorry if
- 6:46you missed me. But you know what, clearly, clearly you guys did
- 6:49because you guys were going back to some of them old episodes, which I
- 6:53appreciate. But yeah, no, it's gonna be back. I'm gonna be
- 6:58doing obviously more podcasts summer. Obviously, if I had to take a not
- 7:02I'm not gonna say a break. I don't plan to do anything like that,
- 7:04at least not for the foreseeable future. But I know I do have
- 7:09a few plans going to visit her in Germany's so you know, kind of
- 7:15what I did like last year when I went. I'll just record a bunch
- 7:17of episodes, release them. So again, for some reason, they don't
- 7:19seem time they do apologize, but I don't apologize. So with that being
- 7:25said, what's to do with you? Uh No, just ladies, gentle,
- 7:31It's been a pleasure for you join us today. We'll always see you
- 7:33next week at Trucks Cantina. Your social truck Satia, do want that cup?
- 7:36I don't care what I was gonna say something. No, you know,
- 7:42anniversary dinner this past Wednesday, and yeah, new Japanese restaurant in town.
- 7:46Chuck ever makes it to my neck of the woods. Definitely gonna take
- 7:48you there first thing. Jees oh, it's dude, it's so good.
- 7:53Have you ever had chicken cuts? So I know I've had it, like
- 8:00I've tried it, but I couldn't tell you what I know for a fact
- 8:03I've tried it. I have really great chicken. They served it with a
- 8:09you know, curry gravy and some rice and some pride rice and it was
- 8:13so good, great great sushi. Had some great drinks. Had some had
- 8:20a Macha high ball, you know Machau green tea, you know what a
- 8:24high ball is. To put them together. Sounds a little weird, but
- 8:28it's It was phenomenal, creamy, delicious and great apps, great, great
- 8:33apish, fear great shirbish. Can't speak high Yeah established. Second the establishment
- 8:43was cold and yeah play yeah played in the theater in nearby magically even though
- 8:52they didn't, but no, it was it was great, A great time
- 9:00with the lady celebrated a little anniversary, and yeah, man, I'm lucky,
- 9:05lucky to be around uh for this past year with her, and you
- 9:11know, other than that, I'm just happy to be happy to be where
- 9:16I'm at. Work's going well, Schools starting back up in the fall,
- 9:20hopefully it's my last semester ring a ding ding knock on wood myself? Who's
- 9:28had to do? Who's up my door? You know? What else?
- 9:33Did you want pizza? No, not doing that, but you know,
- 9:39it's it's been a good time, trying to get out and enjoy the sun.
- 9:41Went for a little hike, or the long socks with the wrong boots
- 9:45and pill my ankles up. The back of my ankles look like a rare
- 9:50piece of beef, but you know they're healed up. How rare we talking
- 9:56exotic? You don't answer that. But no, man, it's been good.
- 10:03I've just been feeling good. You know, I'm glad to be back
- 10:05on the mic with my bro. You know, I do not apologize.
- 10:22We haven't done this a couple of weeks. Gotta get all the all that
- 10:24get older, got all the kinks sprinkle, all the rush you are.
- 10:37I know I have been blessed with certain gifts, some sets of skills.
- 10:43I'm a very very particular skills. Most of them are making fun of little
- 10:48voices on yournet with my best print. But you know what else what skill?
- 10:54Fu face? Sorry sorry speaking of on Malkovich. You know, in
- 11:01the downtime, even trying to watch you know, some shows, some movies.
- 11:05Yeah, there's a show on Netflix, Ripley and then the later episodes
- 11:11one John Malcovick Smith John Malkovich makes a surprise appearance. And I've heard,
- 11:15I've heard recent things, but Ripley, it's it's really good. It's really
- 11:18good. It's phenomenal, and if you're a fan of cinematography and everything,
- 11:22it's just it's beautiful. So so yeah, I would check that out.
- 11:28Other than that, I mean, you know what, it's been pretty low
- 11:30key, pretty uh standard experience. You know, uh well, you know
- 11:35down Shy's things. Yeah, my cars being in shopping lately had some oil
- 11:41leakage, oil leakage, and you know what, you would find gentlemen at
- 11:46the autobim Bile automobile shop at a frequent especially this year. If you're like
- 11:52it's been in the shop longer than I've been driving, you know what I'm
- 11:54saying, everybody, all right, studio money, just love that one.
- 12:00You know what. The guys, the guys there, they found the problem,
- 12:07fixed it up relatively easy fix. And you know what, they didn't
- 12:09even charge me had done this time around, which is fine by me,
- 12:13Fine by me, you know what, because they've already got a lot of
- 12:16money out of mean enough on you. Yeah, but that was a pleasant
- 12:22surprise. Made my goddamn day. I mean nothing, Hey dude, it's
- 12:24one of my fearful of the words free like come on that. Huh.
- 12:30Yeah. It was one of those things where I was like, they shared,
- 12:33I don't know anything, you know, let's double check this. I
- 12:37don't want to wrap you guys over your time. But they made they were
- 12:41sure they found the problem. They it was a different kind of fix than
- 12:43they thought they were gonna have to do. It's just some epoxy really fell
- 12:46on the crack there talking about filling the cracks. But uh, hey,
- 12:52hey, you know what, And that was the bright spot at this past
- 12:54week. Other than that, uh, you know, I think has been
- 13:00going smooth Smooth's baby butter has butter for babies, not butter made of babies.
- 13:07You know, people at home anyway. But yeah, it was good.
- 13:13It was good. Things are good, things are good. Well,
- 13:16can I tell you a story, and I'm glad. I'm glad. And
- 13:20first off, cheers to well another, cheers to your five mechanics in the
- 13:26great state of Indiana for do my bro a salad. Yep. It's a
- 13:31kind of a local, local place. They've been around a while and they
- 13:35do good business. I got good, good guys over there to know what
- 13:37they're doing, gotcha, So salute, Salute the working man. Memorial Day
- 13:41just passed. You know, that's not the right holiday for that. I
- 13:45was gonna talking about salutes. That's all right, I get I get Labor
- 13:50Day. World to switch all the time, dud, It's okay. So
- 13:54anyway, I'm gonna tell you a story, tell me regaling me friend,
- 13:58all right. So first I want you to get tugged in. Make sure
- 14:00you know, let me get my blanket, make sure we get get your
- 14:03feet. We gotta make sure that you know the pen no no, no,
- 14:07no. Hold on the feet is the last part. You gotta make
- 14:09sure like the sides are tucked in right under your back, right under your
- 14:11buttocks, runder your legs you know, you got your little you got your
- 14:16little two hands at the very edge of the blanket, Like, can you
- 14:18hear this? Can you hear this? Yes? I can hear this.
- 14:22That's a nice plush blank Oh, nice little plush blanket. You gotta make
- 14:24sure your feet stay out though, so the boogeyman can not tickle your feet.
- 14:31I thought that was you this whole time. You think I can make
- 14:33that? I mean, you're worth it anyway, So shift from God damn
- 14:46it. Sorry, two of them. So sorry. I watched a little,
- 14:56a little sidetrack. I'm gonna do a surper once it's all done.
- 14:58AC came out earlier this week. First two episodes very divided amongst nine just
- 15:05I mean shocking stars. Maybe I can't make a fuck. We can't agree
- 15:07to anything. No shocking one of my watch though this is funny. Good
- 15:13friend of the show. Uh no, the f his name Zilla? Wait?
- 15:22Is that his name? Yeah? I think so? Yeah? Fuck
- 15:24I can't remember his name. So he wasn't really a fan of it.
- 15:31I haven't, I haven't. I haven't talked to click a clack about it
- 15:33yet. Or was it Shacksla? It was shags anyway? Sorry, Drew
- 15:37it is shackline. Thank you shack Baby. I enjoyed it a lot,
- 15:43and that's not just because I'm a Star Wars junkie, but I I mean,
- 15:46I'm it's two episodes. I'm gonna lie again. My one biggest scrape
- 15:48with any Disney Plus show was like, Okay, HBO can do an hour
- 15:52and you guys can really do twenty five minutes. That what the fuck?
- 15:54Anyway, I really enjoyed it. But like in the first episode, there's
- 15:58not a it's not a major spoiler. It's not a spoiler. There's a
- 16:02part where, you know, one of the main characters walking through a ship,
- 16:03shocking walking someone walking in on a ship in Star Wars where Star Wars
- 16:08takes place in space. I thought it was like a battleship, like in
- 16:12the Ocean the stars, the months the stars, or a month Lake County.
- 16:22She was, Okay, there's a part where two fucking gunans like from
- 16:27the Tray generation, they're just walking by there like like woman goes oh and
- 16:33started dying. It's like, you guys are not hiding the fact that these
- 16:37characters are made fun of anyway, getting out of the actual point. So
- 16:42lovely wife, it's over in Europe kicking ass right now with our beautiful,
- 16:47awesome, handsome dog Tully funny crime. So, in order for an animal
- 16:56to travel internationally, there's obviously certain things you have to get, so it
- 17:03obviously varies by each country. I am a very big, very big supporter
- 17:08of you know, all like animal like, you know, awareness groups,
- 17:14you know, like like you know, you know, adopt, don't shot
- 17:17the whole nine yards on that ship. Anyway. Our vet is awesome,
- 17:21the vet, all the staff there is awesome. However this is and I
- 17:26don't know, I don't know this is Germany or EU. I can't remember
- 17:29which one it was with them. I'm just gonna say EU might be wrong,
- 17:33you know. Or for your animal to go over there, you need
- 17:37to get a check up within ten days or I think it's ten days before
- 17:41your departure. Ten days, so they make sure, you know, all
- 17:42the bag, all the shots are up the day his chips work in the
- 17:47whole nine yards, Okay, keep in mind, uh And I never disclosed
- 17:52this. She was supposed to go a couple of months prior. But you
- 17:53know, there's a lot of things going on in the world right now.
- 17:56Things get delayed, Things are backed up. That's just the way it is.
- 18:00We made them aware back then, Hey this is probably gonna happen.
- 18:06There's really anything we gotta do when you do so. And they's pretty much
- 18:10like, hey, ten days before he goes, you gotta do this,
- 18:11you gotta get this form whatever. Okay, cool? What now come to
- 18:14find out this form, Well, it's not a passport. It's like a
- 18:18fucking passport because they obviously have to be a credit in which they are and
- 18:25I won't say which, which Veninari Housepital because that's I don't say a damn
- 18:29business. Now your fucking business. Fuck you. You gotta get this form
- 18:34right, essentially saying, hey, this dog he good. This dog gets
- 18:41two thumbs up, one for being healthy and good two for being fucking adorable
- 18:45in that case, three thumbs up like a like a like a gentleman.
- 18:52I call, I call not ten days before, I call eleven, eleven
- 18:56days before, and I'm like, hey, here's the stitch there going into
- 19:00Germany. Here's the date. Can we get this appointment please? And they're
- 19:04like, I wish you'd have done this sooner, and I'm like, excuse
- 19:10me, but all the story short, they're saying like this paper could have
- 19:14been apparently been done for a while and the appointment could have been ten days
- 19:17after that, and I'm like, well that's news to us. And they're
- 19:22like, did nobody tell you? And I'm like, clearly not, because
- 19:26I've because since this one appoint where we mentioned it, he's been in twice
- 19:32and not once was it mentioned. Lot. Story short, he does the
- 19:34appointment, we do the paperwork, we get they file it, we pay
- 19:40for an expedition, all that stuff. So I'm not gonna say what day.
- 19:45What's just say my wife left on a Thursday. Okay, flew on
- 19:49a Thursday. Find international. It's pretty young. It's not not saying it's
- 19:53stressful, but like you know, it's like, hey, you're a little
- 19:56nerve wrackings. You got to worry about costumes and all that shit. Plus
- 20:00she's flying with a dog and falls closure Uh, totally has been flying now
- 20:03since we got him. He's flown to Miami, right, he's falling to
- 20:07Miami or he's froll in the Miami. He's full to Miami? What full
- 20:11the Miami? What? What? What? What? He's flown in Miami?
- 20:17What fl in Chicago? What flowing? New York. What flown to
- 20:22California? What? Well? What? I think that's it. I think
- 20:27that's it. Essentially, he's flown from one coast to another. Okay,
- 20:34here planes than I have. Have you really not flown that much? So
- 20:44totally used to fly. Let's say she's supposed to be on a Thursday morning,
- 20:48Okay, called the VET and I'm like, hey, we're getting a
- 20:53little close to crunch time here and we don't have this form yet. What's
- 20:56going on? And fallowsclosure. The people of the vet in office were awesome.
- 21:00They were continuously calling me, give me updates on this stuff, and
- 21:03I like, look, you're awesome. Dog who gets three thumbs up,
- 21:07two for being healthy, two for being fucking adorable. He got approved,
- 21:11he's all good to go by the USDA Jesus. And I'm like, oh,
- 21:17the forum's not here yet, my vet. The vet office closed at
- 21:21five o'clock. I'm calling them. I'm calling them. They gave me a
- 21:26tracking number for the form, Like okay, great, we got a tracking
- 21:27number. The forms coming. It's in full disclosures the day before she flies
- 21:34out. So it was one of those things where like we're not gonna talk
- 21:37about what happens, because if we talk about it, then that form is
- 21:41not gonna come. So we didn't talk about that at all. We didn't
- 21:44talk about that plane at all. So check get the u j F E
- 21:52or FS tracking label. I'm not gonna say the actual provider because I want
- 21:56because they're not paying for the show, not paying the fuck Just wait,
- 22:00hey, I'm taking Drew's advice. Fuck them. So tracking number says will
- 22:06be delivered by twelve thirty or twelve or one o'clock. Great, awesome,
- 22:11twelve forty five comes, will be delivered between the hours of twelve forty five
- 22:15and forty five. Great, we still have confirmation it's coming today. Three
- 22:22point thirty comes by, We'll be delivered by two forty five. That's fucking
- 22:27wrong. I call correct, I call the vents zone, and I go,
- 22:33did your contact in the USDA office, which I don't know how the
- 22:36fuck they have that have any update? And they said they guarantee they'll be
- 22:38delivered today, And I'm like bullshit. So and this is how nice they
- 22:48are. They were worried about it. So they're like, please, for
- 22:51the love of God, call us when it gets delivered, because we're worried
- 22:56sick. Jesus, this is good. This is a nice people. I'm
- 23:00like, absolutely the that office closes at five o'clock. They call me five
- 23:06minutes to five, did it come yet? No? No, and the
- 23:12one lady Lily goes crap. So I say, if it shows up,
- 23:19I will call you first thing and leave and his voice mail. They hang
- 23:23up. The closes at five o'clock. Guess who shows up at my door
- 23:27fucking five after Oh my god, the guy with the form. He obviously
- 23:33doesn't know what the fuck it is from. No, no, no,
- 23:37his his and for his defense, this is one of the like one of
- 23:41the days last week where it was hotter than absolute nutsack and the humidity was
- 23:45insane to the point where like we're like, we're not going. We went
- 23:48for a walk and we did a very we did that. We always took
- 23:51tollally on walks, but we did we actually we did like our we did
- 23:53a shorter version of our short walks of how human it was. So we
- 24:00get the form and then of course Kaitlin and I are like, holy shit,
- 24:03there's five thousand pounds off our shoulders and on this envelope. Okay,
- 24:10keep in mind the week prior is when totally got approved to travel internationally a
- 24:15week prior and we paid for overnight shipping. Let's just say she left on
- 24:21a Thursday, so that means we got this form on a Wednesday. Would
- 24:23you like to guess what day this this form was sent to us? What
- 24:30day was it shipped? That which? I have to guess, my friend?
- 24:33A week before, five days before Jesus overnight? My ass over?
- 24:38How many nights? I apologize? Four nights? Four nights? It was
- 24:44four nights because you gotta count the Sunday, which doesn't count, and that
- 24:48kind of spoils who was shipping this form. And here's the best part about
- 24:55it, my friend, So this is the last thing we were legitimately worried
- 24:59about for her travels, because part part of us getting the dog was like,
- 25:03look, we made a decision. I was going to stay back,
- 25:07she was gonna go. So we got a dog. We've been talk about
- 25:10a dog from like, Hey, look we'll train the dog. He'll be
- 25:11good boy. He can go with you to Germany and enjoy all your European
- 25:15adventures. M. So it's really sweet. Guess what is on this form
- 25:23in big red letters? Oh, God, I can't for everyone to see
- 25:30it's one word. It's the word urgent. Why the fuck wasn't it here?
- 25:38And then fucking days prior because I because of course, I'm like I'm
- 25:45relieved. I'm like, oh, thank God, have made it. Kaitlyn
- 25:48grabs the foreman goes hmm, not urgent enough, fucking pussy. I was
- 25:56pissed because I'm because like again, we was like in my as, it
- 26:00was literally one of the things is all right, let's let's not fucking say
- 26:03it. Let's not like it's like because like at one point, because Kennon's
- 26:06like, yeah, like you know later if it doesn't come, we'll talk
- 26:08about it. And I'm like, no, it's gonna come. It's gonna
- 26:10come, and it's gonna come. Oh yeah, I know it's gonna come.
- 26:12Yeah, it's gonna come. Uh where's that though? Yeah? So
- 26:18I left the very nice voicemail for a VET office, very nice voicemail,
- 26:23all that stuff. I thanked all of them by name because we know all
- 26:26of them by name. I didn't get a call back, like fucking funnily
- 26:33black this guy's number black him. Now we didn't like him anyway, We
- 26:41didn't liked Caitlin. All right, sorry, they're gonna love me when I
- 26:48bring the cats in. Yeah, well it made it, made it though,
- 26:52And yeah, like, no need talking about what would have happened if
- 26:56it hadn't, because it did it. Always why talk about some Why why
- 27:00would you? Why talk about what if the thing we all wanted happened?
- 27:04Nothing? There's nothing, nothing to discuss. The thing we all knew what
- 27:07happened happened exactly, wonderful, exactly. So so what are you some of
- 27:15your plans, Well, the ladies overseas, so I will obviously be going
- 27:21to visit her and stuff like that. Meantime, I'm gonna be here getting
- 27:25my ship figured out. You know, I said, I'm I've really gotten
- 27:33really invested in trying to really advance like voice stuff. So I'm gonna taking
- 27:36some voice acting courses this summer. I know, I've kind of discussed you
- 27:40know, sports management stuff as well. I'm still interested in that. I'm
- 27:42still looking to that found a thing with the NFL that I'm really interested in
- 27:48that I'm gonna look into as well. And uh, in the meantime,
- 27:51just trying to get Like I told my wife, but I just want to
- 27:52get. I'm gonna get tatted and jacked. I gotta work on the jack
- 27:56part. Yeah about halfway half for through the year. Yeah, you know,
- 28:02I'm I'm I'm in terms of tattoos, I'm happy where I'm at.
- 28:03But yeah, the jack thing I work on a little bit. Although and
- 28:07actually I don't I know she loves this story. I don't know if she
- 28:11wants me to tell it. I'm sorry, honey, I'm gonna tell you.
- 28:12I'm gonna say this. I got one more story for you. Sorry,
- 28:15I'm just I'm just rambling on here today because it's been a couple of
- 28:18weeks. And O g. Patron, you're gonna love this story because actually,
- 28:22I don't know if I told you this. Okay, I have been
- 28:26after the after the party. Yes, I have been with my lovely wife
- 28:30now we have been together for eleven years, not married for eleven years.
- 28:36Fucking weirdos. Actually, actually I know, I'm not gonna lie. I'm
- 28:41not gonna Actually I don't know. I remember their name. One of the
- 28:42weddings. Someone asked me that question. I said, Oh, he'll be
- 28:45good for eleven years, like he's been married for that long. I'm like,
- 28:48no, no, so that doesn't even make sense. So we went
- 28:56to a wedding uh the weekend after her birthday part in Milwaukee. It was
- 29:00a good time for friends Emily and Elliott. And then last weekend we went
- 29:07to another wedding for our friends Emily and Ryan. So all the ends a
- 29:11game married Emily Emily season. Is there another Emily? Nothing I can think
- 29:15of. No, yeah, nothing can think of at the moment. Okay.
- 29:18Anyway, So for eleven years, okay, I've gone to you know,
- 29:25I'm a pretty easy guy to shop for. Give me a phone,
- 29:26go give me the Star Wars, buy me food, pretty easy, right,
- 29:33Yeah. My wife and I we've gone to like, you know,
- 29:36we've gone close shopping. We've gone to Goodwill. There was and I probably
- 29:41can't remember the name of this, like it was like a thrift boutique store
- 29:42downtown Milwaukee. It's kind of near the Third Ward if you lived down the
- 29:47exec which what I'm talking about. I don't if it's still there. They
- 29:48always had good ship. That's actually why you got all my suits and stuff
- 29:52like that for what I was in college doing TV and stuff like that.
- 29:55I still have one of them because the suit was like it's super nice,
- 29:57but I'm like, once I lose a bunch of like, that's the first
- 30:00Ti'm gonna wear. So in terms of actual clothes shopping though, for myself,
- 30:10Caitlin has never really gone with me for that. That's been my choice
- 30:14because I'm a simple guy. I mean, I still have fucking shirts from
- 30:15high school in college or I mean, seriously, majority of my shirts,
- 30:22I'm not I'm not joking when I say it's the majority of my nice shirts,
- 30:25like York shirts are from like our Christmas gifts, and the majority of
- 30:29like my like, hey, I'm just a dude wearing my T shirts are
- 30:32from like professional wrestling events or the or the occasional like you know, Chicago
- 30:37Bears whatever shirt. I can't identify with that at all. No, no,
- 30:41no, no, no, You've never seen me wear a wrestling I've
- 30:42never see you wear a wrestling shirt. Actually, I don't even know what
- 30:45that means. Yeah. No, last time I saw you were wearing a
- 30:47Chests Championship T shirt from two thousand and four. Nice anyway, Yeah,
- 30:52sorry, they clean my throat. So we go shopping and I'm a bigger
- 30:56guy, Okay, so I'm not gonna say where it's kind of obvious though,
- 31:03especially if you live in United States America. I had to go shopping
- 31:04at a certain store that really helps us big boys. And of course this
- 31:14is like the first time Caitlin has seen me trying clothes where I'm like,
- 31:17oh, it doesn't fit. No, if anything, shit didn't fit it
- 31:18was too big. Yeah, it's a plus, you know what I mean?
- 31:23It was pretty good. And I can't remember the guy's name from the
- 31:27store. I think it was Ryan or Brian. I want to say Ryan,
- 31:30Actually I think about I'm pretty sure it was Brian something Ian. So
- 31:37my my ass right away we walk into the store and the reason where I
- 31:41went to the store is because the suit I were at the first Emily's wedding.
- 31:44I'm like, look, I want to change it up. I want
- 31:45to different wear a different suit. I need to get a new suit.
- 31:48Anyway, let's go to the store. Let's go to the clearance section because
- 31:51that's where I bought the suit I wore previously. Let's go to the clarence
- 31:53section and see what we can. Actually, that's a lot, that's it
- 31:56was not clear. That's it was new, but it was a cheaper suit.
- 31:57But that's why I bought my couple dressers. Anyway, go to the
- 32:00clearance section, trying on got shirts, hoodies, pants, whole brigade suit
- 32:07selection for the clearance section. Nah, they had one jacket that she absolutely
- 32:14loved. There is no reason this jacket should have been in a big guy
- 32:17store. Way too fucking small. Anyway, So I grab all these clothes,
- 32:22right, and I go to the uh dressing room whatever it's kind of
- 32:29it's not. And by the way, this dressing room, it's not like
- 32:30clothes in a back corner of like like an actual retail clothing store. It's
- 32:35like right dead center, and there's like two little entrance ways. We're like,
- 32:37honestly, if like, if you just toolt your head, you can
- 32:38see not you can't see me, but I ass naked, but like you
- 32:42can see what I'm doing. So anyway, changing my clothes. Some things
- 32:46I like, some things I don't, somethings like cake, some things I
- 32:51give back, And all of a sudden, I'm like, all right,
- 32:53cool, Like I got like I'm like, you know, I need I
- 32:55need some new clothes for work. We'll get some nice stuff. I'm like,
- 32:58okay, cool, let's go look for a suit and Camelyn just starts
- 33:00going around pulling suits stuff like that. So let's see what fits first.
- 33:04And then I love my wife to death. Brian ask her the question.
- 33:10He's like, so, like, you know, like, what are you
- 33:12guys shopping for, to which my wife goes, but I never he never
- 33:15lets me go close shopping with him, so I don't know, to which
- 33:17he says out loud, you shouldn't have told me that. So blonde story
- 33:28short, I only tried on two suits. First suit, was really a
- 33:32fan of it, just wasn't wasn't my thing. Second suit, and I'm
- 33:37not gonna lie to you of all the suits I thought my wife would pick.
- 33:39And this is why to this day she's still she's still full surprises.
- 33:42She picked out a linen suit. Let me just say that she looked good,
- 33:51and I was like, oh, yeah, I look good in this,
- 33:53to the point where I was like, let me try in a different
- 33:55pair of pants in the same exact style and the same company. I just
- 33:59want see what ones fit better. And because I'm I don't care you want,
- 34:02I'm I'm confident who I look. I bought the bigger size. But
- 34:07this is where they got me no, it's no one's fault. I should
- 34:13have asked, but I didn't because, as my wife says, treat yourself.
- 34:16So I walk up to the counter. I have my shirts, I
- 34:22have a hoodie I bought, I have some socks or not that's I have
- 34:27a polo and shit like that. And I put it on the counter and
- 34:30he goes like, yeah, great, you came to a great day we
- 34:32have. It essentially was like, you know whatever, whatever the percentage off
- 34:37on some items are double that. I'm like, fucking sweet, let's go.
- 34:42All of a sudden, they ring up the bill and I go,
- 34:45huh what. It turns out the shirts, the suits we're not on Clarence.
- 34:57Oh god, but you know what, treat you self. And I
- 35:00fucking bought that shit. There you go. So what I'm trying to say
- 35:04is all you young lads out there, all you gents, let your wife
- 35:09go close shopping with you, because I'm not gonna lie. It was a
- 35:13blast, a fucking blast. And then like true people, like true romantics
- 35:17we are, because we're in this very nice we were in Libertyville or no
- 35:23Vernon Hills, like you know, the area exactly whatever. It was very
- 35:27nice area. Very good, wide variety of food selections patch, and I
- 35:30have been there a couple of times. I've gone there for some other things,
- 35:34some other big occasions. And where do we go for this glorious evening
- 35:37of awesome success, for this awesome attire. I bought to celebrate and really
- 35:44really really satisfy our hunger A place that involves a certain bear. What the
- 35:54fu? Yeah? What what are you talking about? I think about it.
- 36:02Certain bear. There's a certain bear that's giving, that gives you food
- 36:08pretty expressly. Uh no, I thought I had it a certain bear.
- 36:19Come on, come on, give me a here, I said in just
- 36:24what I said. Did I know this place? Yes, you do.
- 36:30It's very good. There's a wide, sir election of different things, but
- 36:34was really known for one item, very good with rice. Uh oh,
- 36:43fuck, I'm dumb. I'm dumb. Yeah, I got it. We
- 36:46got it, everybody got it. Everybody Hey, alright, we're got okay.
- 36:52So yeah, So that's that's that's literally all I've been up through the
- 36:55last couple of weeks. Yeah, no, I great time. Uh don't
- 37:04regret a single thing of item clothing. I bought little good and everything in
- 37:07it and uh yeah. Also the wedding. Weddings were a blast. Hell
- 37:12yeah. Although one one quick thing, Ellien Ryan's wedding was Ellien and Elliot's
- 37:16wedding awesome. Ellien Ryan's wedding awesome, Ellien Ryan's wedding. No, we
- 37:20were a little concerned, not about the wedding. Wedding was beautiful, phenomenal,
- 37:23was I'm not gonna lie to you Patrick. Yeah. I had a
- 37:29lot, and I mean at to drink, so did some of my friends.
- 37:32We drink a lot most but there was there was a shuttle, so
- 37:37we were saved. So like, hey, cool, we have a ride
- 37:38home. Let's get blastered. And by the way, I had been drinking
- 37:45before I even got on the bus. I went with. I went to
- 37:49uh uh brewery was a brewery, a little brewery with my friend Leah,
- 37:54and I had and I tried out some of their I sambled some of their
- 37:58beers. All were fantastic, and I had a decent buzz going. And
- 38:02before I left, one of the groom's been in Ryan's wedding, Elliott,
- 38:06the guy who got married two weeks prior. He's walking down the hall toy
- 38:08with that big smile on his face. I mean Patrick, you remember Eve
- 38:12met Elliott, Oh walking down, the big smile on his face, and
- 38:14he's got clearly something behind his back, and I go, if you're gonna
- 38:16ice meats, don't it doesn't count. And of course he just literally puts
- 38:21the bottle of smearing off in my chest, is like, oh, you
- 38:22got ice. And of course I saw the groom, the groom behind him,
- 38:25like, well, I can't disappoint the groom. So of course my
- 38:29wife is right there because she just had me walking by and I'm on my
- 38:31and I'm on one leg in shorts and a cutoff tea doing in the eye.
- 38:37There you go doing some you know, I got ice and ship.
- 38:39But anyway, we got to the wedding and we had a lot to drink
- 38:42and I'm not we don't know what it was. We weren't plastered. Because
- 38:45I'm not gonna lie to you. I've I've been to some weddings where you
- 38:49know what, like I'm not afraid to say, like I can control my
- 38:51liquor. But that was one of those weddings where I was like, oh,
- 38:53I had a lot to drink and I don't know how I wasn't drunk.
- 38:55It got to the point I was like, oh, I didn't drink
- 38:58water, but I wasn't buzzed. I had and then once I switched the
- 39:00beer, I went right. I started having my buzz back. And here's
- 39:06the thing, like these the bartenders, they were pouring pretty nicely too,
- 39:09but we were watching We're like, this is weird, like why why are
- 39:13we not getting drunker? And it's also funny too because we saw one of
- 39:15the bartenders get yelled at because you know, like you know, like you've
- 39:17been the weddings obviously, you know, whenever we get a cocktail, what
- 39:21do you get it? You get like a little little not gonna say a
- 39:22little like a little regular size plastic cup, you know, I mean,
- 39:25nothing too crazy. There's one bartender who everyone was going to was giving us
- 39:30all of our cocktails in full sized glasses, full twelve ouncers. Baby,
- 39:35there you go, and he definitely got yelled at, my god, what
- 39:40are you doing shit? Yo? Like last week? Yes, and this
- 39:45is during a cocktailer by the way too, it's like the wedding and we
- 39:47haven't got the dinner yet. But yeah, no, So that's what I've
- 39:52been up to the last couple weeks. Uh, getting looking good and partying
- 39:58good, but wondering why the party wasn't hitting me that hard after I don't
- 40:01know, you know what, I don't know. That's a good question,
- 40:06because I haven't. I don't really drink a whole lot anymore. Yeah,
- 40:09and my lady, uh, she was like, I've never seen you as
- 40:15joke as you've been at Caitlyn's going away party like I was. I was
- 40:19doing the whole drunken master style, like falling over but catching myself and ship
- 40:22and being like we were all little drunk that night. You know, you
- 40:27mentioned Drew earlier. He fucked me over with the ring hook game, like
- 40:30I mentioned in the last episode, I was on and but yeah, you
- 40:34know what, I've also been taking a break from all the the other party
- 40:37favors I usually, you know, I've been doing for a long time,
- 40:42and it's been good. It's been it's been really good to take a break
- 40:45from that, you know. And uh, you know, I just I've
- 40:51just been trying to find some part time gigs. I've got my first this
- 40:55is Friday is as of recording. Uh, And I've got my first shift
- 40:59over at a barbecue place in town. Oh, you know, doing some
- 41:02serving and hopefully getting some good tips. And then you know, my schedule
- 41:07with my main job is kind of weird, weird hours, you know,
- 41:09because I'm doing in home and it's summer, so clients are off of school
- 41:13and things like that. So right I'm looking for a got some prospects for
- 41:19Monday and Friday because right now I'll only be working four to seven on Monday
- 41:22Friday. But uh, you know what other than that, I mean,
- 41:25I'm looking forward to it. I like doing the barista type jobs and you
- 41:31know, good atmosphere at this place downtown. I want to take it to
- 41:34good coffee. See that's that's the thing. I just I I'll never forget
- 41:38I had my which rides I need to get. I need a schedule because
- 41:42it'll make sure get your yearly chuck ups. Go to the dentists on that
- 41:44jazz too. I to get my yearly checkup because I'll never forget. Like
- 41:49I know, I'm a bigger guy, but like I hate the question.
- 41:52And by the way, full culture, I understand why they I understand why
- 41:54they ask it. I get it. But like whenever, like whenever you
- 41:58get asked like how man dream to have a week, I'm like I don't
- 42:01have an answer because I don't know I've gone and they you have to do
- 42:06math, right, I know, that's that's that's that's the first that's your
- 42:09first mistake because ask me to do math. But no, like I've had
- 42:13like there's been weeks where I've been had a single I haven't had a single
- 42:15drop. Yeah, but then there's like weekends like the last three where it's
- 42:19like party on Wayne, you know what I mean. So yeah, I
- 42:22mean like during like the Winner. I mean, since I got in the
- 42:27car, since I've been drink coffee last year, I've definitely got more to
- 42:29like espresso martinis and stuff like that. Which and by the way, because
- 42:34Kayla, she was saying I should make one, and she's right, I
- 42:37should make one because obviously the two drinks I'm very into, one of being
- 42:39old fashions, one being I p as, but also now another one is
- 42:43spress of martinis. I know, very very wide, very selection. I
- 42:46am gonna start. I'm trying to I'm gonna start something soon with like rating
- 42:52my best places for expresso martinis. Yelp. Yeah, yeah, one of
- 42:57those yelpers. Tell right now, one of the worst ones I had is
- 43:00at a place where it likes to make fun of me for going to.
- 43:02Yes, it is down in Disney. I'm not gonna say where yet.
- 43:06Uh I know follow Slosure this place where and I have always gone to it.
- 43:12It's very good. I've talked about it before in the podcast. Very
- 43:15good food, very good service, very good people, very good people.
- 43:20But they literally have Oh I just realized that, let's tal get down there.
- 43:25N I'll never forget. This is the first time I were in a
- 43:30spress of martini there, and I literally saw it at the bar where we
- 43:34were sitting because they have they have two bar cycles at this place, and
- 43:37the bar that we were sitting next to had an espresso literally had an espresso
- 43:40maker at the bar. I'm like, sit, I'm gonna get one of
- 43:44their spressal Martins and try it because you're like, oh yeah, we're known
- 43:45for a spress of martinis from once, like the employees okay, great,
- 43:50and I'm watching it. I'm like, waiting for my spressal martini. I'm
- 43:52like, okay, they're not making it yet, still waiting, and so
- 43:55also heres my waiter. Okay, she got a Swiss some martini, but
- 44:00I didn't see him making it at the espresso maker and it was espresso on
- 44:04the cord. I'm like, who is that for? Why even work over
- 44:15there? Donald's ice scream machine over there? And I don't I don't know
- 44:22if the machine was booking or whatnot, Like this was she was big,
- 44:23So I'm like, if it's just for show, that's a lot of wasted
- 44:25space. Yeah, well those things are you gotta really, you know,
- 44:31take care of them and clean them and shutter and they could just break down.
- 44:35But I don't know what you're talking about, so who knows. But
- 44:37yeah, speaking of express, speaking of coffee type things. Coffee, let
- 44:42me let me tell you something. Okay, let me let me lay down
- 44:46with his culinary wizard. She's got skills and we made stakes the other day.
- 44:53Now I make a decent steak, but she does some Gordon Ramsey ship
- 44:58with the steaks. So I handled the sides and let me tell you something.
- 45:01Okay, he sees in your steak? What he sees in your steak?
- 45:04With check? Well, the goat was obvious. Always salt and pepper.
- 45:07Of course, you always want to have a little kind of like I
- 45:09always like to play a little garlic in there. Maybe a little uh and
- 45:14then of course, like I always thought it was still stupid, but I'll
- 45:15never get like one time made a steak and I did like the time thing
- 45:17like right out the last you're like, oh yeah, yeah, you know,
- 45:21just keep yeah, a little tasty. And then occasionally whenever that's usually
- 45:25I do the first sakes, Like occasionally I'll put like a little onion kind
- 45:29of like powder or salt in there. Just get like a little extra,
- 45:30like little flavor. But this salt pepper a little thyme. Let me tell
- 45:37you what she did. She did, you know, she did the typical
- 45:38salt pepper, a little garlic. She actually did something like uh frid garlic
- 45:45on there. Very good. But then she also asked me, hey,
- 45:49when are you going that draw over there? This straw over there? Yeah,
- 45:52what do you want to this straw? Grab me some coffee? Well,
- 45:57oh okay, she put a little bit of coffee. I like liquid
- 46:02coffee, but just like coffee, ground coffee, not coffee grounds, okah,
- 46:07but ground coffee. And she put it on a steak, and I'm
- 46:10like, oh my god, I can't wait to see what this does.
- 46:14Dude, fucking never looking back, immaculate, so she took like a thing
- 46:19of folders coffee, not Folger's, bro. What do you do? I'm
- 46:22just I'm just oh, I said the name. No, some Peruvian coffee
- 46:30or some shit. I kind of checked some Colombian coffee or something like that.
- 46:34Some good Colombian, high quality Colombia. Don't ask where we got it
- 46:37anyway. Did she put it on the steak. I'm like, oh,
- 46:42yeah, okay. And I didn't know what to expect because I've never had
- 46:45that. And it had a nice, nice bite, like a little spice
- 46:51note little oh little awakened your mouth a little bit with the meat. Oh
- 46:55my god, it's so good, so succulent. I mean, we made
- 46:58some roast potatoes and we made it's mysparagous. And let's just say it was
- 47:00a good meal. That was Tuesday before we went out for the anniversary,
- 47:04so we did a little double dip anniversary celebration dinner situation. It was great.
- 47:09I'm very lucky and very happy to be in the position i'm in right
- 47:14now. Thank you, Bud, Thank you. Now she's out, she's
- 47:19out with she's out in DC, like I mentioned, But a couple of
- 47:22weeks back and I think we were going to pod, but I said,
- 47:27hey, the last minute kind of thing happened. We had her sister and
- 47:30her nephew over for a few days from DC and they just moved from Delhi
- 47:36in India, so a bit of a bit of a lot, a lot
- 47:38of culture shot going on. And let's just say her nephew, he's about
- 47:44four years old. In man, he was a pleasant handful. He was
- 47:54all over the place. As soon as he got in the door, He's
- 47:57like, oh, what's this over here? What's this? What's this?
- 47:59What's this? Oh my god, let me take all this stuff off the
- 48:01show, Like, hey, hey, slow down, all right, easy,
- 48:08Hey, why don't you listen to your mother? All right? Why
- 48:10don't you go get washed up, go get settled down. Maybe we'll play
- 48:14some moon on huh, we'll play you know, please No. But it
- 48:20was a it was a it was an eventful few days for a few days,
- 48:23very busy. Tried to keep them all busy. I had a I
- 48:27had a break from work because my client, uh that I was working with,
- 48:31was on a trip with his family. So I was like, you
- 48:34know what, this works out pretty nice actually, able to kind of host,
- 48:37able to do a lot and take you guys around town because the lady
- 48:39doesn't have a license yet, she doesn't have a car yet. It's very
- 48:44close to happening. But yeah, no, what we ended up doing was
- 48:49taking them to the park and of course hanging out playing you scared to go
- 48:53up the letters, and then all of a sudden, it's like, oh,
- 48:57I'm not scared anymore. These are just bullshit. There's a baby ship,
- 49:00I can climb, I can clan the lighters, like, no problem,
- 49:01that's fine. It's like, hey, got a good job. Good
- 49:04job. And then all of a sudden, he takes off to the other
- 49:06side of the park, just just running like didn't say a word, you
- 49:09know, didn't didn't say a word, just started running to something else you
- 49:13saw. So that's the kind of energy we're bringing, you know, but
- 49:19to give to give my my partner and her sister. Sometime they'll be alone
- 49:23and talk as sisters do, because they haven't really had a lot of time,
- 49:29especially when my partner was in the hospital. You know, Shoot,
- 49:32they were still in Delhi, right, our family are still in Deli.
- 49:36So it's like they've had a lot to catch up on, right, and
- 49:38I haven't seen each other in person in a long time at this point,
- 49:44and I take the nephew to a movie, like I'm playing babysitter. I'm
- 49:49going to go show them a movie in America, first time for him,
- 49:52all this fun stuff, and I'm like, what's playing? What's playing in
- 49:58theaters? Well, and not a lot, and especially not a lot for
- 50:01kids. But I know what was available at the time was the Garfield movie.
- 50:16And let's just say, Chris Pratt, you watch your mouth. Let's
- 50:29just say I was shocked at points. I was laughing at the wrong things
- 50:38in the movie. Of course, it was one of those movies where they
- 50:42tried to fit in some jokes for the adults, and even those were like
- 50:45cringey as hell. No, like elbow the fucking mom or dad next to
- 50:52you be like you see that? Shiit No, it's like telling the lady
- 50:57at the Italian restaurant to tell John to get on date apps and ship and
- 51:00don't forget to pay for memberships and ship. And I was like, what
- 51:04the fuck. But then there's also some like visually jarring moments just that came
- 51:07out of nowhere, Like parts with the audio just got fucking loud out of
- 51:12nowhere, you know, and I'm with a four year old kid. He's
- 51:16never been in a theater in America with like giant fucking speakers. So he's
- 51:22he's well, first of all, this kid's loaded on sugar. I got
- 51:27him. We got him a slurpye, we got him a bunch of crunch.
- 51:30And I was like, all right, of course, of course a
- 51:31small hero is an extra large there right right and uh. And his mom
- 51:37before he left, before we left, she was like, don't don't let
- 51:39him have popcorn. He's got a I don't want it to get can his
- 51:43throat. And I'm like, fine, that should be no problem. We'll
- 51:45get him as slurpy. We'll get him some fucking or icy, not a
- 51:50slurpee, and we'll get him some bunch of crunch. He'll be fine.
- 51:52And immediately as soon as we said that, I was like, I want
- 51:54popcorn, just puts his hand right in the bucket, like, damn it,
- 52:00I have to remind you to wash your hands every time you go to
- 52:04the bathroom. We all do, right, because he's four, and he's
- 52:07like, oh, everything is a new adventure. Let me go over here.
- 52:10I'm done in the bathroom. Let me go over here. And so
- 52:15I was like, you know what, fine, popcorn. If you choke,
- 52:17I'll give you the Heimlich maneuver. It'll be fine. I'll have to
- 52:21explain to everybody what the relationship is. So it's gonna just wrestling a kid
- 52:28in public. But anyway, but no movie, surprisingly heartfelt. Garfield's dad,
- 52:37he's a bandoned as a kid. John finds him after he gets all
- 52:40cute a little Italian restaurant, eats a hole as on you you know,
- 52:45and then Garfield he gets abducted by this evil cat. And this the whole
- 52:49plot is a little it's a little high bro. I'm not gonna lie because
- 52:52it's like almost like a crime caper. I didn't know this was going to
- 52:54turn into a Garfield slurp review, but basically I'm not gonna watch it go
- 52:58ahead. Basically, Garfield's dad ran a gang of you know, stray cats,
- 53:02and there was feel milk right, listen, listen, all right,
- 53:07and the one female cat she gets nabbed after a gig goes wrong, she
- 53:12goes back for some milk that she drops, she gets nabbed. Garfield's dad
- 53:15kind of abandons her, so she wants revenge and she's fucking terrifying. Like
- 53:19the way she's lit at times in this movie is like this is a fever
- 53:22dream nightmare situation. It's like all red lighting and shit, you know.
- 53:29And then so she's trying to get Garfield's dad and Garfield and Odie, which
- 53:32Odie is the baller of the whole movie. Can we talk about it.
- 53:36He's like on zen levels of unfuck wiittableness and he's just got a shit together.
- 53:42He's like the fucking guy steering the ship the whole time. Garfield's out
- 53:46there fucking around, not doing shit, arguing with his dad who's estranged,
- 53:52and Odie's like, doesn't say a word, but he's like, you guys
- 53:55gotta figure out. And so the big real happens when you know, the
- 54:04feline, the lady, the evil, villainous whatever, she tells them.
- 54:07You gotta go steal a quart of milk for every day I was in the
- 54:12pound, or you're gonna fucking die. I onna fucking get my dogs to
- 54:16darey you apart with all the fucks too, right, And that's how I
- 54:22listen, That's how I remember it anyway, And you know it's a cool
- 54:25movie because it you know, I can't remember if it's stream Works something.
- 54:29I'm pretty sure its Streamworks. But they do a good job at like taking
- 54:34the old animation of the Garfield cartoons in the comics and like making it into
- 54:38like a three D animation, but it's still like identifiably like that Looney Tunes
- 54:43era of cartoon, you know what I mean, Like the body shape of
- 54:46all characters is still there. And anyway, so they go to break into
- 54:51this fucking dairy farm and they meet up with the old ox or bowl from
- 54:57the fucking farm that got cast out, and he's on the mountain side looking
- 55:00at his beloved cow who's being led around. Is like the poorest attraction because
- 55:05it's all fucking automated, and they don't get into the weird shit of like,
- 55:08well, where's all the milk coming from? Where all the cows?
- 55:10No, don't really talk about that, which is like probably a good idea,
- 55:14you know, for a kid's movie. It's just like the reality of
- 55:16the dairy industry is a little tough to tackle in the kids movie. That'd
- 55:22be pretty fucking horrific. But anyway, so he's like the guy who trains
- 55:28him to get in there and gives him the plan and all that shit,
- 55:30and then Garfield and his dad are just not working on the same page.
- 55:34So Odie ties him to a tree together, so they fucking have to talk
- 55:37it out. Turns out Garth, well, it's it's a cartoon like they're
- 55:42fighting. They're fighting, and then Odie's like, you know, basically forces
- 55:46him to talk it out, and so they talk it out. They talk
- 55:49it out, and it's revealed that Garfield's dad didn't abandon him. He was
- 55:53just out there trying to get him food. He wanted to provide for his
- 55:57little kitten, all right, but he couldn't get him food. And by
- 56:00the time he did he came back, the box was empty in the alley.
- 56:04And then he saw him with John. He was happy all this,
- 56:07he was getting fed. He was like, well, maybe they'll maybe he'll
- 56:09be better He's like, he's like my boy taking care of Maybe he'll be
- 56:13better off. Yeah, this guy, this human can take better care of
- 56:15my boy than I can't. And you know what, there's a tough pill
- 56:17to swallow, but I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it,
- 56:21you know. But then the reality hits of like, m it's a
- 56:25setup job. The fucking evil feline cat. She's like, she's like this,
- 56:32Like, no, it's kind of well, it's kind of like a
- 56:36twist, kind of like The Departed almost I compare it there. Oh god,
- 56:39yeah, so the feline she calls into the fucking dairy farm and is
- 56:45like, yeah, there's a there's about to be a robbery. You're you're
- 56:47about to get a bunch of milk stolen from you. And Oliver is in
- 56:52the background. I can hear me talking about Garfield. He's like, I
- 56:54know that guy that it's my icon. It's probably the funniest part of the
- 57:00movie because the head security officer is like this minute Minnesotan accent. It's like,
- 57:08oh, it seems like it's a good day to be a security officer.
- 57:13But yeah, actually, yeah, one hundred percent. But like so
- 57:17the evil feline is given the fucking given, like selling out Garfield and his
- 57:23father and all the gig that she sent them on because she wants him to
- 57:28get caught. But like on the other end of the line is the security
- 57:30officers listening in, and it's just like because it's a fucking cat talking on
- 57:36a phone, right, it kind of breaks the whole fourth wall. But
- 57:39then obviously obviously the security, like the deputies are like, it's just some
- 57:45kind of prank call. Somebody put their cat on the phone. It's like,
- 57:49no, if it was a dogged then maybe it'd be a prank.
- 57:52The cats cats mean business. I turned Scottish in the middle of that,
- 57:55but I guess that makes sense with the Minnesota. But anyway, so she
- 57:59gets on an app on her and it's like, I don't know what year
- 58:00in the future this is, but she gets on app that just is able
- 58:04to translate any animal noise into human speech. That's like that made me laugh
- 58:12genuinely. But so yeah, so they there's this whole wacky, you know,
- 58:17mission impossible ass sequence when they break into the dairy farm and they end
- 58:22up in the wrong spot and they got to dolge all these fucking death traps
- 58:24and lasers and shit, you know, and so they make it, but
- 58:30the security officer was waiting for him, so they have to fight her off,
- 58:34and then literally Garfield and his dad and his Jodio I'll funny en off
- 58:40this lady and Garfield's dad kind of bails on him and takes the truck with
- 58:44all the milk at it and leaves and it's just like so genuinely sad.
- 58:47It's like, oh my god. Garfield's like, no, do mean not
- 58:51again. I'm like, what movie is this? Why is Garfield going so
- 58:54hard right now? Chris Pratt's like hold my beer Bill and literally so uh
- 59:02fucking Garfield gets sent to the pound and I hear a familiar voice from another
- 59:09cage over because it's like just this big cartoonish wall of all these cages stacked
- 59:14on top of each other, and it's like, yeah, man, yo,
- 59:17you you Victor's boy. Yeah, man, yeah, we used to
- 59:22be in the gang together. And it's like, is that fucking Snoop Dog
- 59:25in the Garfield movie? And it was like Victor's the name of Garfield's sad.
- 59:32It's like, yeah, Victor always used to bail on us in jobs.
- 59:37He said he would go visit his kid every Sunday. He said he
- 59:39would wait in this big old oak tree and leave it, leave a talent
- 59:43mark for every time he was there. And Garfield at this point is like,
- 59:46fuck my dad, that guy sucks. He's a liar. He abandoned
- 59:51me twice. He's a piece of shit. I call him spur balls,
- 59:55aren't even real. I call him an alimony pete because he sens all right,
- 1:00:01whatever that was bad Trump trying to make a nickname for him whatever.
- 1:00:06But no, it's like Garfield gets rescued by John. He's all in the
- 1:00:08lap of luxury again. All the fucking Hallmark things from the Garfield cartoons,
- 1:00:14the chair with the giant speakers coming out of it, his little bed with
- 1:00:16the blanket, all this other ship. And they go to sit down for
- 1:00:20a Sunday dinner and John makes two lasagnas and he says he's got two more
- 1:00:23in the oven. So I'm like, fucking baller cat. Yeah, Garfield
- 1:00:29loves lasagna, truck, what do you I know? I know he loves
- 1:00:30lasagna, but he eats all lasagna's. It's hard of the big one fucking
- 1:00:36lasagna. Let alone doo. Yeah, little Johnny John has taken. He
- 1:00:39was such a cuck in this movie. He has no actionable difference in this
- 1:00:44movie. His only scenes are like him exasperatingly trying to call for help to
- 1:00:49try to rescue his cats, and he's on an automated line and he gets
- 1:00:52nowhere, and so obviously the only thing he's been doing is like when Garfield
- 1:00:55gets back, I'm going and so we get but I asked. Garfield's about
- 1:01:00to take the bidyless lasagna. All the color fades away from the background as
- 1:01:06he's looking out the window to the oak tree that Snoop Dogg Cat mentioned to
- 1:01:10him, Snoop dog Cat. It was Snoop Dogg. He did the voice
- 1:01:15of this other cat anyway, and Garfield's all slowly like, yeah, hold
- 1:01:21on, I gotta check something, Chris Pratt. Garfield's like, yeah,
- 1:01:23just give me one second, I gotta check something, and he walks across
- 1:01:27the street almost gets to causes two accidents. The cars just like smash into
- 1:01:31each other as he's walking pass anyway, and he climbs up the tree and
- 1:01:36he's like, yeah, right, he didn't he didn't want he wasn't really
- 1:01:37here. But then he sees all these fucking tally marks. Right, Oh,
- 1:01:42quick side note Victor. As he's driving away, he gets stopped in
- 1:01:46the middle of the road by the two dogs out of the henchman of the
- 1:01:51the cat lady and she's like, oh, I didn't really want you to
- 1:01:53get me the milk. I just wanted to make you suffer and I wanted
- 1:01:57to you know, I have a way of making the hat right, so
- 1:02:00it was all just a setup and we knew that. But anyway, so
- 1:02:02Garfield sees these tally marks and he's like, oh my god, he really
- 1:02:06was here. And you know, Chuck, I wish I could tell you
- 1:02:10what happens after that, but by the time this was happening, the four
- 1:02:15year old child I was watching my lady's nephew is just bawling his eyes out,
- 1:02:22and I'm like, buddy, what's wrong, and he's just he can't
- 1:02:25even tell me, he's so distraught. And I'm like, hey, you
- 1:02:29know, what, do you want to go? Let's go. We don't
- 1:02:30have to watch this this movie Scorsese films. I'm like, yeah, I
- 1:02:37thought it was gonna be Garfield. I thought it was gonna be fun and
- 1:02:43traumatizing. It was fucking traumatizing, and yeah, so we left the theater
- 1:02:49and I made up an ending to the story where Garfield and Odie and John
- 1:02:52go rescue Garfield's dad. But I have no idea how that movie ends,
- 1:02:57but God willing it doesn't end like every other Scorsese film. Well somebody getting
- 1:03:04whacked, you know. But if I had to give it a rating four
- 1:03:07point fivesagnas out of five quality. That's a lot of that's a lot of
- 1:03:14those. Out of all the Garfield movies, this was one of them.
- 1:03:19I mean, Jesus, all right, So when we'll see the real question,
- 1:03:21how was Chris pres Garfield? Oh his Mario was better. Ah,
- 1:03:29I knew it. I knew it. But I'm gonna say I think it
- 1:03:35was the writing. There was all this really cheesy shit like Garfield breaking the
- 1:03:37fourth wall, Garfield doing these stupid dances and Garfield having a fight with his
- 1:03:44dad, and uh yeah, no, very mediocre movie, but for Garfield
- 1:03:50movie, probably the best one there's been. Sorry, Bill Murray, Sorry,
- 1:03:57Oh my god, So I got him home. He just did a
- 1:04:00slurp. You just did a slur for fucking guard. But that's fucking awesome.
- 1:04:02Call it a call it a micro slurp. Micro slurp. And do
- 1:04:09I think my abrupt ending to the viewing experience hampered my experience at all?
- 1:04:15No? I do not. I sat through about i'd say five to sixth
- 1:04:18of the movie. I was at the very end of the movie, and
- 1:04:25you know what, you can see what's happened by the way, you know
- 1:04:28what I mean right, So, all in all, did I like the
- 1:04:33movie? Did the We'll call him Tolka? Did tolk I like the movie?
- 1:04:40Nephew? Uh no, he hated it. He was he was there
- 1:04:45for the popcorn and for the ICs and couldn't give a shit about the movie.
- 1:04:49I don't know what got him so upset. We were towards the back
- 1:04:54of the theater, so maybe it was really loud. Like I said,
- 1:04:56there was some visually jarring things. There were some really flashy things happening,
- 1:05:00but also there were some really heavy themes, like the kid getting abandoned by
- 1:05:03his father. So I don't know. Maybe it was just a lot emotionally
- 1:05:08for this four year old child. But that being said, will he remember
- 1:05:14it? Probably not. Will his mom remember him coming back being in tears?
- 1:05:18Probably? So maybe that's the last time I'd get to take this kid
- 1:05:21to the movie. I explained what happened. What a phenomenal sword movie.
- 1:05:27Uh yeah, Like I said, four point five was on is out of
- 1:05:30five? Where's the other point five that I was on? You I ate
- 1:05:31this shit before Garfield could get to it. Oh my god, that was
- 1:05:40splendid. I don't know how to follow that. You know what that like.
- 1:05:45Literally, it's sound like a fucking scort. City was like, what
- 1:05:47the fuck are we talking about here? It was intense bro at one point.
- 1:05:54At one point, Garfield and Odie were dangled from their feet by ropes
- 1:05:59from the top of this fucking roof of this building, this abandoned mall,
- 1:06:02and I was like, what is about to happen in this movie? I
- 1:06:05feel like I'm watching a snuff film or some crazy like horror movie like snaw
- 1:06:13Saw or some shit like why are we You know? It was intense,
- 1:06:17and then it was just it was weird. The tone was weird, you
- 1:06:20know? Was it a weird tone shift? Was it as weird as the
- 1:06:24Napoleon movie? Probably not? Probably not, But you know, walking in
- 1:06:30Phoenix is the master of his craft. Let's just put it that. What
- 1:06:33is his craft? I don't know. I think he lost his mind from
- 1:06:35playing the joke or just like everybody else. Probably Anyway, on that note,
- 1:06:42I think we're gonna get out of here's how to follow that. If
- 1:06:45anything, you gave your Garfield movie four and a half, I will give
- 1:06:54your review of Carfield. I don't know how you do half of asigna who's
- 1:06:59half of Asigna, not me. Iin't the holy name thing I can you
- 1:07:05follow that up? I will give that. I will give that four and
- 1:07:11a half Espresso Martiniz out of five. Oh that's fair. That's fair.
- 1:07:16I could have done better at any rate. That is O. G Patron
- 1:07:19pat I am your favorite bartman host, whatever the hell you want to call
- 1:07:24me Chuck as always, thank you for joining us this week. Thank you
- 1:07:27for your patients, uh least a couple of weeks. I hope you've been
- 1:07:30joining it. Like, all the episodes are available wherever you get your you're
- 1:07:32listening to your podcast Spotify, uh, iTunes, not Google podcasting work,
- 1:07:39that's not a thing. You don't get him out off Amazon job and there's
- 1:07:42all. There's hundreds of resources to find your podcast and we're pretty much there.
- 1:07:45So thank you for all your support so far. As I mentioned earlier,
- 1:07:48chuckscanteen and gmail dot com, Chucks s Canti on your socials. Give
- 1:07:51me doing a lot of stuff. You're coming up. I'm gonna be busting
- 1:07:56my ass here for the next couple of months. But yeah, again,
- 1:07:59just want think you all for your support. And lastly, here this goes
- 1:08:01the last two things. This quick toast goes out to a beautiful girl over
- 1:08:04in Europe. There you go. That was delicious. And secondly, going
- 1:08:11off on Patrick's review, here's a good way to sign us off again.
- 1:08:13Who the fuck these Halfalasaigna, Come on you eat the whole thing. Take care,