Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / 1 | A Centaur at Panera

Transcript

1 | A Centaur at Panera · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: I do think we start with a cold open.
• 0:02
  Matt: People love a cold open.
• 0:04
  Eric: People enjoy those.
• 0:05
  Matt: Look at SNL.
• 0:06
  Eric: We're do we're actually we're doing it.
• 0:09
  Eric: I I'm thinking about it.
• 0:12
  Eric: Like we're we're we're inside of the podcast right now.
• 0:17
  Matt: Oh, it's coming from inside the podcast, is what you're saying.
• 0:20
  Eric: Is that a podcast name?
• 0:22
  Matt: We can't change the name again.
• 0:26
  Matt: We can't change the name again.
• 0:29
  Eric: No, but I I like I like this name better.
• 0:32
  Matt: Okay, so we are are we starting this thing?
• 0:35
  Matt: Cool.
• 0:36
  Eric: I declare podcast officially on.
• 0:43
  Eric: This is gonna be a clusterfuck.
• 0:45
  Eric: Yeah.
• 0:47
  Eric: Okay.
• 0:58
  Eric: Oh shit.
• 0:59
  Matt: Alright.
• 1:00
  Matt: So I think that was it.
• 1:01
  Eric: Yeah, that was it.
• 1:03
  Eric: That was the cold open.
• 1:04
  Eric: Alright, so here we go.
• 1:05
  Eric: Are you ready, Eric?
• 1:06
  Eric: Um I'm dear Lord Matthew.
• 1:09
  Eric: I'm ready.
• 1:10
  Matt: Alright, let's get right to it, shall we?
• 1:12
  Matt: Yes.
• 1:13
  Matt: Uh welcome to this little thing that we are calling You Didn't Ask for This.
• 1:20
  Matt: I'm At Shay.
• 1:21
  Matt: I'm Eric Poach.
• 1:23
  Matt: We have no authority to be telling you any of the answers that we're about to be saying.
• 1:28
  Matt: Oh goodness no.
• 1:31
  Matt: Uh what we have done is we've gathered some questions uh that we feel are well, they're bullshit, is what they are.
• 1:40
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:40
  Matt: Well, no, no, no, no, no.
• 1:43
  Eric: They're not bullshit.
• 1:45
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:45
  Eric: It's just they're not, you know, in the grand list of priorities.
• 1:50
  Matt: Yeah, they're they're meaningless.
• 1:51
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:52
  Matt: But we will give them meaning.
• 1:55
  Matt: Yeah, they mean something to somebody.
• 1:57
  Matt: They mean something to somebody, mainly us.
• 1:59
  Matt: Um, and what we would like is for you all, our I'm gonna say, copious amounts of fans, to send in your questions that you think nobody really has had the has had the gall to ask, but the audacity has to put forth.
• 2:19
  Matt: Has had the courage to put out there into the universe uh the chutzpah, we will answer them for you in in great detail.
• 2:32
  Matt: Well exhaustive detail.
• 2:34
  Matt: Lots of detail.
• 2:35
  Matt: Exhausted.
• 2:37
  Matt: Copious detail.
• 2:39
  Matt: Too much.
• 2:40
  Matt: Uh hence the name.
• 2:42
  Matt: You didn't ask for this.
• 2:44
  Matt: So uh we do have a couple of questions to get us started, I think.
• 2:49
  Matt: Should we get right into it?
• 2:50
  Matt: Uh or you know what we should do?
• 2:52
  Matt: We should banter.
• 2:54
  Matt: Every podcast has a good banter segment.
• 2:57
  Matt: You gotta, yeah, you gotta Most people don't state it so overtly like I do.
• 3:02
  Eric: No.
• 3:03
  Eric: But I think that's what makes our podcast, you know, like brave.
• 3:09
  Matt: Is that the word that you want to use?
• 3:13
  Matt: Let me ask you this, uh, Eric.
• 3:16
  Matt: How the hell are you today?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: Matthew?
• 3:20
  Eric: I'm in my pajamas.
• 3:23
  Eric: I have a mug of coffee and my favorite Dungeons and Dragons mug.
• 3:30
  Matt: What does that mug say?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: It says This really Dungeons My Dragons.
• 3:37
  Matt: It's a solid, it's a solid uh pun.
• 3:39
  Matt: Yeah, and it's given to me by my good friend.
• 3:41
  Matt: Is it a pun?
• 3:42
  Eric: Uh it's just I think it's just words.
• 3:45
  Matt: It's just words.
• 3:48
  Matt: Okay, so we did prime the pump a little bit, uh, and we got some questions from friends.
• 3:56
  Matt: Friends of the pod.
• 3:57
  Matt: They didn't know that that there was a pod at the time.
• 4:00
  Matt: No.
• 4:00
  Matt: Uh goodness.
• 4:01
  Matt: But now they've provided us some questions.
• 4:04
  Matt: Um, we would love you to submit your questions as meaningful or meaningless as you think they might be uh for us to answer at you didn't ask for this at gmail.com or you didn't ask pod.
• 4:20
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod on Instagram or the or the Twitter.
• 4:26
  Matt: Hey Matt, can I just say something real quick?
• 4:29
  Matt: Uh yeah, sure.
• 4:31
  Eric: Like I I just want to say, no, I know we had to go back and re-record that last segment, but you're knocking it out of the park right now with this branding on the second take.
• 4:40
  Matt: Thank you.
• 4:40
  Matt: Yes.
• 4:41
  Matt: Uh, you know, I I I can't say that I feel like I'm knocking it out.
• 4:44
  Matt: So we got our user handle wrong.
• 4:47
  Matt: No, you're you're killing it.
• 4:48
  Matt: You're killing it.
• 4:49
  Matt: Okay.
• 4:49
  Matt: Um, Eric Poach, would you do the honor of uh pulling our first question?
• 4:56
  Matt: Happily.
• 4:57
  Eric: Matthew, our first question on this podcast that we have worked so very hard for, that you have branded so very well.
• 5:11
  Eric: The question is Is it okay for a centaur to poop outside?
• 5:18
  Matt: And that uh that comes from DCT Morris on Instagram.
• 5:22
  Matt: Um that's a great question that I think many have asked.
• 5:26
  Matt: And I think it's crucial we put it's it's the the key word here is is it okay?
• 5:32
  Matt: Yes, is it okay?
• 5:33
  Matt: It's certainly possible.
• 5:35
  Matt: Yeah.
• 5:35
  Matt: There's there's no question.
• 5:36
  Matt: Nobody is contesting that point.
• 5:38
  Matt: Yeah.
• 5:39
  Matt: Um what it is it uh so let's let's think about this.
• 5:44
  Matt: Let me set the scene for us.
• 5:45
  Matt: Okay.
• 5:45
  Eric: Paint me this picture.
• 5:46
  Matt: Yeah, there you are at a I'm gonna say a panera.
• 5:49
  Eric: Okay.
• 5:50
  Eric: That answers my first question.
• 5:51
  Eric: Were we in the woods or are we in society?
• 5:54
  Eric: No.
• 5:54
  Matt: You you are exiting a panera.
• 5:56
  Matt: Okay.
• 5:56
  Matt: You've got your you've got your salad and you've got your bread bowl with uh with a nice creamy soup in there.
• 6:05
  Matt: What soup do you put in the bread bowl, Eric?
• 6:07
  Eric: Ooh, baby, you know I'm going after that creamy tomato.
• 6:11
  Matt: Do you I always like uh like a cream of chicken wild rice or a cream of potato, but once you can't do you can't do like a brothy soup in there.
• 6:20
  Eric: Ooh, no.
• 6:21
  Eric: Oh god.
• 6:22
  Eric: That's gross as hell.
• 6:24
  Eric: No, it's a mess.
• 6:25
  Matt: Yeah.
• 6:26
  Eric: If someone's like, oh yeah, I got chicken noodle soup in a bread bowl, I'm like, what the hell are you doing?
• 6:31
  Matt: Yeah, I mean, I'm always worried it's gonna leak.
• 6:34
  Matt: I mean, I guess it could leak no matter what, but at least with There's a viscosity threshold.
• 6:39
  Matt: Exactly.
• 6:39
  Matt: With a creamy soup, it would gloop.
• 6:42
  Eric: Yeah.
• 6:42
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 6:43
  Eric: Okay, so we're coming out of the house.
• 6:45
  Matt: We've got our leaky bread bowl.
• 6:47
  Matt: Yeah.
• 6:49
  Matt: Um, and in front of you is a centaur who waves.
• 6:54
  Matt: He's friendly.
• 6:56
  Matt: And then he walk now.
• 6:59
  Matt: Wait.
• 6:59
  Matt: Is Alright, no, go on, go on, go on, go on.
• 7:03
  Matt: So you're walking out of the Panera, you got your bread bowl.
• 7:05
  Matt: Uh, you it's leaking, it's leaking noodle soup cream chicken noodle soup all over the place.
• 7:11
  Matt: Got it.
• 7:12
  Matt: A centaur named Harry.
• 7:16
  Eric: Do I know his name?
• 7:18
  Eric: Uh yeah, you see he's a local.
• 7:20
  Eric: Adding to this is is what is the whiplash as I change my answers in my head as new information is introduced.
• 7:27
  Eric: Okay.
• 7:28
  Matt: So you think it's better if it's a random centaur?
• 7:30
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 7:31
  Eric: I know.
• 7:32
  Eric: I know him.
• 7:32
  Eric: His name's Harry.
• 7:33
  Matt: Okay.
• 7:34
  Matt: He's the local centaur.
• 7:35
  Matt: I feel like you would know him.
• 7:36
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:38
  Matt: Especially if he frequents your Panera of choice.
• 7:41
  Matt: So he he's there, he waves, gives you a how you doin', as he makes his way to the shrubbery, where he proceeds to poop.
• 7:51
  Matt: But he's asking you about your day.
• 7:54
  Eric: Okay, so clarifications.
• 7:58
  Eric: Um He so I come out holding bread bowl.
• 8:03
  Eric: Um Harry looks me in the eye, waves, asks me how I'm doing as he is walking to the shrub.
• 8:15
  Eric: So he has a designated spot.
• 8:17
  Eric: Yeah, he's on a he's in route.
• 8:18
  Eric: He's en route to his designated.
• 8:20
  Matt: No, no, no, no, no.
• 8:21
  Matt: We we can't necessarily say it's a designated spot.
• 8:24
  Matt: There's not a shit in it.
• 8:26
  Eric: He has chosen, like he he has made the the cognizant decision, I'm gonna go to that shrubbery to poop.
• 8:33
  Matt: The the sent the half man has to shit.
• 8:35
  Eric: Yeah.
• 8:36
  Eric: Okay, so that answers one of my questions is is he just doing this horse style where you know he walks and then the poop just kind of falls out behind him?
• 8:44
  Eric: I think I I think that is what he's doing.
• 8:48
  Eric: Oh, that is what he's doing.
• 8:49
  Eric: So he is talking to me, looking me in the eye while he's pooping.
• 8:54
  Matt: You know, you bring up a good point, actually.
• 8:56
  Matt: Uh before we get all the way down this this hypothetical situation.
• 9:01
  Matt: The ass is a horse.
• 9:03
  Matt: Yes.
• 9:03
  Matt: And horses just let it go.
• 9:05
  Eric: Yes.
• 9:05
  Matt: So I guess the is the qu is the question really, I mean, the question posed to us was is it okay?
• 9:12
  Matt: I think it might only be possible for uh a centaur to put that side.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: What's he gonna do in a stall?
• 9:21
  Eric: I I feel like I'll forgive a horse for pooping wherever, like they poop in parades, the the they poop, they poop on the street, nobody nobody nobody's like mad at the horse.
• 9:32
  Eric: No one's it's a horse.
• 9:34
  Matt: It's a horse.
• 9:34
  Eric: They're very they're beautiful, dumb, stupid animals.
• 9:39
  Matt: I don't think they're dumb.
• 9:40
  Matt: I think that is incorrect.
• 9:42
  Matt: They're I've you ever roden you ever ridden a horse, man?
• 9:46
  Matt: I have.
• 9:47
  Eric: I have too.
• 9:48
  Eric: Hey, look at that.
• 9:49
  Eric: I don't think they're stupid, but I don't think they're smart.
• 9:52
  Eric: No, they're no they're no Albert.
• 9:55
  Eric: Like they're thinking one thing.
• 9:56
  Eric: Like you're not gonna potty train a horse.
• 9:58
  Matt: They just go.
• 10:00
  Matt: Well, first of all, why would you?
• 10:01
  Matt: They'll they'll hoove you right in the face.
• 10:03
  Eric: Yeah.
• 10:04
  Eric: Um, so to kind of circle back, so horses, yeah, they poop anywhere they want.
• 10:11
  Eric: That's fine.
• 10:12
  unknown: Right.
• 10:13
  Eric: They're horses.
• 10:14
  Eric: Yes.
• 10:15
  Eric: A centaur, yes, creature of myth.
• 10:18
  Eric: If you want to call it that.
• 10:20
  Eric: The top half is a hu he is intelligent enough to wave at me and ask me how my day is going.
• 10:28
  Eric: Yeah.
• 10:28
  Eric: So I assume he is capable of holding it until he gets to a to an appropriate spot.
• 10:38
  Matt: Now, see, this is where I think we need I mean, truly, we need to know what the anatomy of a centaur is.
• 10:48
  Matt: Like, at what point does he go from jacked six pack to the innards of a horse?
• 10:55
  Matt: Well, first of all, come uh he I thought that was a prerequisite of a centaur.
• 11:00
  Matt: Nobody wants to be um we don't know when the anatomy takes over, is what I'm saying.
• 11:05
  Matt: No, yeah, and it really comes down to Is he in control of his poops?
• 11:09
  Matt: And since he's got a horse ass, yeah, I don't think I think we have to assume that the uh the at least the back half of the digestive system works the same as it does in a horse, and it's just gonna come the fuck out.
• 11:27
  Matt: Okay, and I think I think that's fair.
• 11:30
  Eric: So that being established in a vacuum, assuming Harry the Centaur cannot control his poop shoot and just like a horse, just happens.
• 11:47
  Eric: Even assuming that he looked me in the fucking eye and waved at me when he did it, that is not okay.
• 11:57
  Eric: Uh oh, so you think he should have at least excused himself and said at the very as soon as he's gotta know it's coming.
• 12:04
  Eric: He's gotta know it has to know.
• 12:07
  Matt: He's certainly aware it's gonna happen.
• 12:09
  Eric: Yeah.
• 12:09
  Eric: So the second he becomes aware, even even just uh just a oh oh oh wait, wait.
• 12:16
  Eric: Like he can start, oh hey Eric, oh, oh, wait, wait, just just a oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.
• 12:21
  Eric: Like just so just so he can signal signal me so I can not so I can avert my eye, I don't care.
• 12:27
  Eric: Like I'm not bothered by the but just so I can like okay, this is happening.
• 12:34
  Eric: Yeah.
• 12:34
  Eric: So I can do that on my end.
• 12:37
  Eric: Yeah.
• 12:38
  Eric: Yeah, I think.
• 12:40
  Matt: And does he clean it up afterwards?
• 12:42
  Matt: That is also critical.
• 12:43
  Matt: No, I'm gonna say that's a hard no.
• 12:46
  Matt: First of all, he can't bend down there to pick it up.
• 12:49
  Matt: He can he can do that.
• 12:50
  Eric: Have you you see that like super like graceful kneel that a horse does?
• 12:58
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 12:58
  Eric: Like when they're doing dressage.
• 13:00
  Eric: You can do one, like just do like that dressage, like like the like he's bowing to the king of a of it of the forest realm to scoop up some bazoo.
• 13:09
  Eric: Now that being said, there Who is gonna make a centaur do that?
• 13:13
  Eric: No well, absolutely no one.
• 13:14
  Eric: They are powerful, beautiful creatures.
• 13:17
  Matt: That's what I'm saying.
• 13:18
  Matt: And I think Harry the Centaur knows that damn well.
• 13:21
  Matt: So I think the answer to the question is it is not only okay for a centaur to poop outside, they they have it would be I think it would be not okay for them to poop inside.
• 13:34
  Matt: Oh, well, that's less acceptable.
• 13:36
  Matt: And they're certainly not going to a a Panera stall.
• 13:41
  Matt: Yeah, no, that's not gonna happen.
• 13:43
  Matt: Can you imagine though?
• 13:45
  Matt: I The destruction.
• 13:48
  Eric: Yeah, the Panera is all over the state.
• 13:50
  Eric: Like they have to pay Harry tribute to like stay away.
• 13:53
  Eric: Do you think now let me hit you with this and the in the subject circling back to cleaning up?
• 14:00
  Eric: Do you think that the Centaur, Harry, knowing he is a powerful, beautiful creature of myth?
• 14:11
  Eric: Yes, do you think he is enthralled and a Panera employee to be like his poop scooper?
• 14:19
  Eric: Like, is that the tax that Panera must pay so that he's gonna be able to do it?
• 14:24
  Eric: You mean somebody kick in their stall?
• 14:27
  Matt: It's some poor, part-time, minimum wage, employee's job.
• 14:35
  Matt: That's their other duties as assigned.
• 14:37
  Matt: Pick up Harry's poop.
• 14:40
  Eric: Yeah.
• 14:41
  Matt: Yeah, probably.
• 14:42
  Eric: Yeah, I think court yeah, corporate knows there's a centaur in town.
• 14:45
  Eric: It's not like they're not gonna build the Panera.
• 14:47
  Eric: They're not gonna let Pop Belly get that footing.
• 14:50
  Matt: No, no.
• 14:52
  Matt: I don't first of all, I don't think Harry's going to only where people will clean up his poop.
• 14:57
  Matt: Because I, again, don't think he's gives a shit.
• 15:00
  Eric: No, yeah.
• 15:01
  Eric: I I I Well, he's giving a lot of shits.
• 15:05
  Eric: But no, so I think we we lend it, it is in a vacuum okay for a centaur to poop outside.
• 15:12
  Eric: Yes.
• 15:13
  Eric: It becomes super not okay the second he looks me in the eye while he does it.
• 15:18
  Matt: He still needs to uh all centaurs need to respect the fact that they they can't just go about their regular business while they're going about their business.
• 15:29
  Eric: As long as they at least acknowledge what's happening.
• 15:32
  Eric: They're like, oh, if like if they just if it just happens and they're like talking to me like it's not happening, yeah, I then it's not okay.
• 15:42
  Eric: I wouldn't be terribly upset, but it's not okay.
• 15:44
  Matt: Okay.
• 15:45
  Matt: Uh well, I think we got to the bottom of that.
• 15:49
  Eric: Yeah, that's one.
• 15:50
  Eric: Give uh do you wanna do you want to give us our next one?
• 15:52
  Matt: I sure do.
• 15:53
  Matt: Uh this one comes from Sarah Feldman also on Instagram.
• 15:57
  Matt: Why would you take the longer route option on Google Maps?
• 16:02
  Matt: And I'm gonna extend this further to any GPS.
• 16:04
  Eric: Yeah.
• 16:06
  Matt: Uh why that that is quite a philosophical question.
• 16:10
  Matt: Yeah.
• 16:10
  Matt: I think there are practical reasons behind it though.
• 16:13
  Matt: Ooh, you think they're practical?
• 16:14
  Matt: Okay.
• 16:15
  Matt: I think sometimes.
• 16:16
  Matt: Now I'm a zoomer myself.
• 16:19
  Matt: Not a zoomer.
• 16:20
  Matt: What the fuck?
• 16:22
  Matt: Uh that's not the name of the amp.
• 16:24
  Eric: Matt, you're 30.
• 16:29
  Matt: No, um, I'm a Wazer, is what I meant.
• 16:33
  Matt: A Wazer.
• 16:34
  Matt: So Zoom has so polluted my mind now that it's it's you know the only app I can think of.
• 16:41
  Matt: No, I'm a Wazer.
• 16:42
  Matt: I don't know if you are a Wazer yourself.
• 16:45
  Eric: Uh I have chained myself to Google Maps.
• 16:48
  Eric: I do still own a Garmin.
• 16:51
  Matt: Well, I'm saying that you don't use the app.
• 16:53
  Matt: Waze is an app.
• 16:54
  Matt: Are you not sure?
• 16:55
  Matt: Do you know what?
• 16:56
  Matt: No, I know what Waze is.
• 16:57
  Matt: I'm just saying, like, I don't use the Waze app, I use Google Maps.
• 17:01
  Eric: Yeah, no, nobody has a TomTom anymore.
• 17:04
  Eric: I have a Garmin.
• 17:05
  Eric: It is in the console of my Jeep.
• 17:08
  Eric: Haven't turned it on in like a decade ago, and there it has slumbered since.
• 17:14
  Eric: Alright.
• 17:15
  Eric: Well, it probably needs a system update.
• 17:17
  Eric: Oh.
• 17:19
  Eric: Boy do it.
• 17:21
  Eric: God, is this is this where we just devolve into like two dads?
• 17:25
  Matt: Did it happen already?
• 17:27
  Matt: Yeah.
• 17:27
  Matt: You don't even have a kid.
• 17:28
  Matt: I know.
• 17:30
  Matt: Once um when I this was probably like five, seven years ago.
• 17:35
  Matt: It was some fall, and I was at home for Thanksgiving, and I was helping my dad rake leaves in the backyard.
• 17:43
  Matt: Have I I don't know if I've told you the story, but I was helping my dad rake leaves in the backyard, and he had has the had this new like polyurethane rake uh that like it is cool.
• 17:56
  Matt: Uh fucking pad that.
• 18:00
  Matt: I'm already I'm already defending I'm defending the story I haven't even gotten to.
• 18:05
  Matt: So anyway, like it it has a design that allows it to not jam up with leaves, yeah, you know, like yeah, and I was remarking to my dad how cool this rake was.
• 18:20
  Matt: And he got really excited and and said, like, yeah, you know, it was a little pricey, but it's totally worth the the money.
• 18:27
  Matt: I got two of them, uh, and here we are.
• 18:30
  Matt: And in the middle of his excitement, I went, so this is uh this is what it's like, huh?
• 18:37
  Matt: This is how crippling was excitement in adulthood.
• 18:43
  Matt: Uh and he went, yeah, yeah, this is this is uh what joy is now.
• 18:50
  Matt: My gift to you, my son.
• 18:54
  Matt: Um so I think though, I if I if I were if I were to dig into alternative meetings to this question of the longer route, yeah, I would say perhaps the question is why would you take the scenic route?
• 19:10
  Eric: Yeah.
• 19:11
  Eric: Yeah.
• 19:12
  Eric: The air quotes.
• 19:13
  Eric: See, when you say scenic route, like like the way you just said it, that that does imply a nefarious intent.
• 19:22
  Matt: Oh, uh here, I thought I was implying a nice Norman Rockwell Americana vibe.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, no, Matt, let's just take the scenic route.
• 19:31
  Eric: Okay, no, hold on.
• 19:32
  Eric: I didn't I didn't put on impending.
• 19:35
  Eric: I mean, that is we can we can stop talking around it.
• 19:37
  Eric: Murder is a good option.
• 19:39
  Matt: Yeah, I mean, okay.
• 19:41
  Matt: If you if you're looking for a body dump, you're gonna take the longer route, probably.
• 19:46
  Matt: I mean, the longer route's the one that goes by the docks, is it not?
• 19:50
  Matt: Um, I think we've kind of covered it, right?
• 19:54
  Eric: Yeah, existential dread, murder.
• 19:57
  Eric: Don't hate, don't like tolls.
• 20:00
  Matt: There you go.
• 20:01
  Matt: Um, and so we are down now to um one there's one last question.
• 20:07
  Matt: This uh this comes from the Jarge, as I'm gonna say, um uh on Instagram as well.
• 20:15
  Matt: Whatever happened to that guy who made a floating island out of trash?
• 20:20
  Matt: Now, I can honestly say I don't know what the hell uh Jamie here is talking about.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: I looked it up, Matt.
• 20:27
  Matt: Oh, did you now?
• 20:28
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 20:29
  Eric: So tell me, Eric, I believe that Jarge is referring to Spiral Island.
• 20:37
  Eric: Spiral Island?
• 20:38
  Eric: Yeah, Spiral Island is the name of a floating artificial island built in Mexico by British artist Richard quote Raishi Soa.
• 20:52
  Eric: God, I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly.
• 20:54
  Eric: Probably not, but let's just go right on.
• 20:57
  Eric: So, yeah, um, it was built in like a lagoon near Puerto Aventuras on the Caribbean coast of Mexico, south of Cancun.
• 21:07
  Eric: Uh so basically, this dude filled nets with like empty discarded plastic garbage bottles and like built a platform out of plywood and bamboo, um, and just made an island of garbage.
• 21:21
  Eric: And it had a two-story house built on it, uh, a solar oven.
• 21:26
  Matt: So these are big nets.
• 21:28
  Eric: Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 21:30
  Eric: Uh the size uh he used some 250,000 bottles for a 66 by 54 foot structure.
• 21:39
  Matt: For but that's like but then he put like a foundation, a wood foundation on it.
• 21:43
  Matt: Uh yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 21:44
  Eric: There's like a frame built out of sticks.
• 21:47
  Eric: Okay, I get I think I get uh the picture here.
• 21:50
  Eric: Um so as to what happened to it, uh he was ordered to take the island out of the canal it was in in 2004.
• 22:00
  Eric: Because many uh they were building private homes and condos uh were being built there.
• 22:06
  Eric: Uh and he lived for one year on that island at the end of a loose rock pier.
• 22:13
  Eric: He was offered a new location in the Bay of Solomon, about 200 kilometers south, and then finally he was permitted by port authorities to tow Spiral Island, I'm assuming, to its new home.
• 22:28
  Eric: Uh, but the island was destroyed by Hurricane Emily in 2005.
• 22:33
  Matt: Oh no! I was I was not set up for an actual unfortunate demise.
• 22:41
  Matt: I thought we were looking at like it caught fire because it's made of garbage.
• 22:45
  Matt: Hey Matt, you ready for this shit?
• 22:47
  Matt: Uh oh.
• 22:49
  Eric: In late 2007 and 2008, uh-huh, Soa built a replacement for Spiral Island in the waters of Ilamwe Harris.
• 23:02
  Matt: The quote Island of Women.
• 23:04
  Eric: Also near Cancun.
• 23:05
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 23:06
  Matt: Yeah.
• 23:07
  Matt: If anybody in the island in the Isle of Women, if there's one thing the Isle of Women wants, it's a lonely man on a mountain of trash.
• 23:16
  Matt: Yes.
• 23:16
  Eric: And it it basically became a tourist attraction.
• 23:20
  Eric: Is it still there?
• 23:21
  Eric: Uh so it was open for tours at one point.
• 23:25
  Eric: Uh it got to be like twenty-five meters in diameter.
• 23:31
  Eric: Uh so is is a bit bit bigger than the other one.
• 23:34
  Eric: It uh the new island had three beaches, a house, two ponds, a wave-powered washing machine, solar panels, a solar paneled waterfall and river.
• 23:44
  Eric: Or sorry, a a solar-powered waterfall and river.
• 23:48
  Eric: Wow.
• 23:49
  Matt: Disney should have jumped on this.
• 23:51
  Eric: Yes.
• 23:52
  Matt: Yes, yes.
• 23:53
  Matt: I mean, this this is truly uh a tourist destination.
• 23:58
  Eric: As far as I know, it still exists.
• 24:00
  Eric: Matt, I say as far as I know, because it was in the lagoon of Ilamueras Bay.
• 24:07
  Eric: I have to be saying that wrong.
• 24:08
  Eric: Um, it was open for tours, however, it is no longer in the lagoon.
• 24:16
  Eric: We don't know where it is, Matt.
• 24:18
  Eric: The island is missing.
• 24:20
  Matt: The island of garbage has has has gone.
• 24:24
  Matt: This is a Twilight Zone episode now.
• 24:27
  Eric: Yes.
• 24:28
  Eric: What was reclaimed from the sea has been re-reclaimed by the sea again.
• 24:34
  Matt: Wow.
• 24:35
  Matt: Well that what I had no idea about any of this.
• 24:40
  Matt: So thank you for the question, Jarge.
• 24:43
  Matt: And thank you for the answer, Eric.
• 24:45
  Matt: And it's a bit Okay, I think without any uh further ado, uh Eric, well why don't we proceed to today to the to the real question of the day.
• 24:54
  Eric: Yes.
• 24:55
  Eric: So why we have gathered you all here.
• 24:59
  Eric: It wasn't Centaurs, it certainly wasn't Trash Island.
• 25:03
  Matt: Yeah, I think what we should say is that each episode we're uh we're gonna do some of these quick hit questions, but we then we're gonna have a main segment, if you will.
• 25:16
  Matt: Main say the theme, uh, where we answer the real question plaguing uh I'd say the world.
• 25:25
  Matt: In this case, the world.
• 25:27
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:27
  Eric: No, because it does, it has worldwide uh effects ripples.
• 25:33
  Eric: Uh so today's discussion the implications of a world with Pokemon.
• 25:40
  Matt: And when you start down this route, it's fun, right?
• 25:43
  Matt: Yeah.
• 25:44
  Matt: Like you think like, ooh, I'm gonna get to be a trainer, I'm gonna have so many nice, fun, powerful Pokemon friends.
• 25:53
  Matt: So I think we I think we should establish right off the bat that we we need to ignore some of the more uh impossible aspects of Pokemon.
• 26:06
  Eric: Yeah, I'm I'm I for what for the sake for the sake of sanity, I'm gonna say we'll stick to the the OG 150.
• 26:16
  Eric: Sorry, 151.
• 26:17
  Eric: 151.
• 26:18
  Eric: Please.
• 26:19
  Eric: Here's a very important question.
• 26:22
  Eric: Are we in the the world of Pokemon the television show?
• 26:30
  Eric: Or is it our world in which Pokemon exist?
• 26:34
  Matt: I think it is I I I think the question that people want to know is what would it be like if Pokemon were real in our world?
• 26:44
  Matt: If our if these two worlds were the same.
• 26:47
  Eric: I'm kind of hoping this was the case because the answer is horrific.
• 26:51
  Matt: Horrific.
• 26:52
  Matt: I only came up with negative outcomes of Pokemon being a thing.
• 26:57
  Eric: Good anything that comes of our world.
• 27:00
  Eric: And now, okay, further clarification, has our world always had Pokemon or are they a recent development?
• 27:08
  Matt: No, I think we should whether I don't think it should be whether or not it was a uh recent development or not.
• 27:14
  Matt: I I'm saying if Pokemon were real, if it was just a fact of life.
• 27:19
  Matt: Yeah, in our world as well.
• 27:22
  Matt: Yeah, what would our world look like if Pokemon were a fact of life?
• 27:27
  Matt: And I think the best way I can uh you know, and I think uh let's ignore the fact that some Pokemon have powers that would literally destroy the planet.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 27:38
  Matt: Let's let's put that aside.
• 27:41
  Matt: Um just looking at the the the the world, either in the game or in the show as presented to us would so fundamentally change how this world we know it functions.
• 27:58
  Matt: For example, the first big thing.
• 28:01
  Matt: You and I, I I I I'm I'll only speak for myself actually.
• 28:05
  Matt: When I was a kid and Pokemon came out, and I was the 10-year-old, as mentioned in the show, who gets to go out and be who turned 10 and now gets to go out and be a Pokemon trainer on their own.
• 28:20
  Matt: I was running around my backyard pretending that Pokemon were real and I'm going out in the world.
• 28:25
  Matt: I was doing Pokemon Go way before it was a possibility.
• 28:29
  Matt: But but think about this in real life.
• 28:32
  Matt: You get to be a trainer when you're 10 fucking years old.
• 28:35
  Matt: They give you a license.
• 28:36
  Matt: You get a license to live in the line.
• 28:38
  Matt: You get a license to live.
• 28:40
  Matt: You shouldn't be licensed to do anything, let alone carry a Charizard in your belt.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that that's just wild to me.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_02: Ash is a big thing.
• 28:49
  Matt: But can you buy forget for a moment the fact that a 10-year-old is in no way capable of functioning on their own out in the world as a freelancer?
• 29:01
  Matt: God know.
• 29:03
  Matt: But but just think about from an adult perspective on all these 10-year-old trainers running around.
• 29:10
  Matt: Running around battling each other, just fighting.
• 29:13
  Matt: Yeah.
• 29:14
  Matt: If and because if you're a 30-year-old trainer now, think of all the things you had to live through as a preteen trying to fight with Pokemon.
• 29:25
  Matt: The scar tissue alone.
• 29:27
  Eric: Like they would all look like Marv from the city.
• 29:29
  Eric: Yes, no one's pretty.
• 29:30
  Eric: No goodness, no.
• 29:32
  Eric: No one is pretty.
• 29:33
  Eric: Getting attacked by flocks of Spiro.
• 29:37
  Matt: Yeah.
• 29:38
  Matt: Oh, and so the the flocks are a thing that I think we should talk about.
• 29:42
  Matt: Yeah.
• 29:42
  Matt: Because that's the first thing that I started with when thinking about how to approach this question.
• 29:48
  Matt: The the the actual just just the the structure of how Pokemon society Oh my god everything in the show and the games, everything revolves around Pokemon.
• 30:01
  Matt: And that is exactly how it would be in real life.
• 30:03
  Matt: The entire economy of the world.
• 30:06
  Matt: In the worst ways.
• 30:08
  Matt: Think about gyms.
• 30:09
  Matt: The Pokemon gyms, right?
• 30:10
  Matt: Yeah.
• 30:11
  Matt: You got victory roads all over the place.
• 30:14
  Matt: And then you've got the freelance gyms.
• 30:17
  Matt: Pokemon gyms would be like like college towns in a way.
• 30:24
  Matt: The way you like a college chain like uh changes the makeup of a town to now only be about that college.
• 30:31
  Matt: That's what the gyms would be like, and it would be a capitalistic paradise.
• 30:35
  Eric: Oh, oh, oh, dude.
• 30:37
  Eric: Yeah.
• 30:37
  Eric: Uh the so there would be an initial like stock market, I guess, crash or whatever, because gold, the nothing, none of that would hold me to Pokemon would become currency.
• 30:48
  Eric: Yes.
• 30:49
  Eric: I'm glad that you mentioned that.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: Whoever controls the Pokemon controls the universe, Matt.
• 30:53
  Matt: So you so do you think when you say Pokemon are going to be currency, do you think that people are out here literally like I like trading only trading Pokemon for houses?
• 31:08
  Eric: I've hmm.
• 31:09
  Matt: What's a house worth?
• 31:11
  Eric: How many, how many, how many Pikachu's do I have to trade to get a house?
• 31:15
  Matt: But and so I'm glad that you brought up our our yellow friend.
• 31:19
  Matt: Yeah.
• 31:20
  Matt: When thinking about Pokemon in real life, thanks to Detective Pikachu and Ash Ketchum, who I'm gonna get to in a second.
• 31:27
  Matt: Um thanks to them, Pikachu is, of course, the first Pokemon usually anyone thinks about when you think about Pokemon.
• 31:34
  Matt: But he's not the one you should think about.
• 31:38
  Matt: Oh.
• 31:38
  Matt: There are other Pokemon.
• 31:41
  Matt: When you think about Pokemon, when you think about Pikachu's running around the world, that sounds like it could be fun.
• 31:46
  Eric: Yeah.
• 31:46
  Matt: You you see them in a field.
• 31:48
  Matt: Oh, how cool.
• 31:49
  Matt: Look at those nice Pikachu's.
• 31:51
  Matt: Now, let me paint a different picture for you.
• 31:54
  Matt: Uh-huh.
• 31:54
  Matt: You're out on a nice little hike.
• 31:56
  Matt: Or not even a hike.
• 31:57
  Matt: Let's say you're just you're walking up Panera.
• 32:00
  Matt: You and Harry the Centaur.
• 32:02
  Matt: You and Harry and the Centaur are on your way to Panera.
• 32:04
  Matt: Yeah.
• 32:05
  Matt: Harry's pooping away, and in front of you appears an onyx.
• 32:10
  Eric: Yeah.
• 32:11
  Eric: Yep.
• 32:11
  Eric: Onyx is huge.
• 32:13
  Eric: Snake, rock snake the size of like a building.
• 32:18
  Matt: Yeah.
• 32:18
  Matt: Yeah.
• 32:19
  Matt: You're fucked.
• 32:19
  Matt: And so's the Panera.
• 32:21
  Eric: Yeah.
• 32:21
  Eric: Oh, everything's fucked.
• 32:22
  Eric: Also, speaking of Matt, you you you you kind of introduced a variable here that's that's really fucking me up, and I'd be remiss if I didn't uh address it.
• 32:32
  Eric: Matt, is Harry the Centaur a Pokemon?
• 32:37
  Eric: R.
• 32:37
  Eric: Centaur Pokemon.
• 32:39
  Matt: No, Harry is just Harry.
• 32:41
  Matt: Why not?
• 32:41
  Matt: Because it's not.
• 32:42
  Matt: You said in the beginning of this conversation we're sticking to 151.
• 32:46
  Matt: I don't know of a centaur type.
• 32:47
  Eric: Okay, but okay.
• 32:49
  Eric: Here's my question though.
• 32:51
  Eric: Harry the Centaur exists in this world, our world, and our world has Pokemon.
• 32:55
  Matt: Are you telling me there would be people who weren't trying to classify Harry as a Pokemon I think you if you know, first of all, I want to say, one, I was making a joke.
• 33:07
  Matt: Two, if Harry was actually in the world due to my joke, I think I think there would be people who want to class who who want to classify him as a Pokemon, because I think I think Pokemon in general would not only dominate the economy, it would dominate politics.
• 33:29
  Matt: Oh, yes.
• 33:30
  Matt: Uh for example, we mentioned Onyx.
• 33:34
  Matt: Let's go to another rock type, Geodude and Golems.
• 33:39
  Matt: Why would you not use Pokemon such as this in mines to be working to be working things?
• 33:47
  Matt: And I think we're gonna find an issue where there are people utilizing uh Pokemon as laborers.
• 33:56
  Matt: Oh, yes, like against their will.
• 33:59
  Eric: Horrifically, oh, we could say it chattel slavery.
• 34:02
  Eric: Like it would 100%.
• 34:04
  Eric: Yeah, it that's the most horrifying and egregious, like the Pokemon are well treated.
• 34:11
  Matt: Like ah not by everybody.
• 34:13
  Matt: Because if there's anything we've learned about our world, it's that uh some people think other people shouldn't be treated the same.
• 34:20
  Eric: They don't even think they should be treated like people.
• 34:23
  Matt: People don't think people should be treated as people.
• 34:26
  Eric: Why would they think Pokemon should be able to exist in their paradise at a goddamn squirtle and think, yeah, you know, I I won't enslave this.
• 34:33
  Matt: They won't so so there's gonna I think there's a fierce, you know, dichotomy there.
• 34:39
  Matt: And also, also, I think you can look forward to our military for sure utilizing Pokemon in war.
• 34:49
  Eric: Yep.
• 34:50
  Eric: Uh Operation Desert Sand True.
• 34:52
  Eric: Are you kidding me?
• 34:53
  Eric: That's happening.
• 34:54
  Matt: Yeah, and and the Navy has Gyaradoses just lassoed to the side of their ships.
• 35:00
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 35:01
  Eric: Now I think like in an ideal world, like it'd be dope if the introduction of Pokemon meant that like guns were just pointless.
• 35:10
  Eric: But I mean, I guess that's a small breakfast.
• 35:13
  Eric: Like, that's just wishful thinking.
• 35:15
  Eric: Like, Pokemon poaching, fucking under like we would have Pokemon battles and stuff, but again, the Pokemon don't consent to this.
• 35:24
  Eric: Yeah, nobody nobody asked for this, and like fucking the the level of like Michael Vick horrific underground Pokemon fights to the death.
• 35:36
  Matt: I think you meant I'm glad you said poaching, because you know, if you think about it, the reasons people poach animals, like elephants, for example, you got that ivory.
• 35:46
  Eric: Or they think like body parts of the animal have some mystical property to give them boners.
• 35:52
  Matt: Yeah, there's that, but not even the mystical properties.
• 35:55
  Matt: Let's look at Meowth, who has a fucking coin on his head.
• 35:59
  Matt: He has a coin on his head! Meowth can talk!
• 36:02
  Eric: Yeah is proof that they are intelligent enough to learn human speech, they are sentient, they are aware of their own existence.
• 36:11
  Matt: Yeah, and I mean there would be a PETA for sure.
• 36:14
  Matt: A pep.
• 36:16
  Eric: A pep.
• 36:17
  Eric: Like, there is Pokemon as presented to it.
• 36:19
  Eric: Now, if it was just a case of like, oh, what if what if what we know as Pokemon replaced animals in our world?
• 36:25
  Eric: Blah blah blah, like that's totally different.
• 36:27
  Eric: But Pokemon as we understand them, gotta catch them all.
• 36:33
  Eric: Putting them in the Pokeballs.
• 36:34
  Matt: Put a fork in that catchphrase, continue.
• 36:36
  Eric: Uh, making them fight each other for our amusement, and so you can give me money.
• 36:41
  Eric: That's the other thing from the games that I think a lot of people forget.
• 36:44
  Eric: I kick your Pokemon's ass.
• 36:45
  Eric: You now have to take them to the emergency room, and oh, by the way, give me$500.
• 36:50
  Eric: What are you gonna do?
• 36:51
  Eric: Your Pokemon are on the brink of death.
• 36:54
  Matt: Right, right.
• 36:55
  Matt: I mean that everything about the economy would survive or would would revolve around everything about the economy would revolve around Pokemon trading, around Pokemon battles, and and utilizing Pokemon in the workforce as slaves.
• 37:15
  Eric: As slave labor.
• 37:17
  Matt: And here's where I wanted to circle back to the phrase, gotta catch them all, and Ash catch 'em as well.
• 37:27
  Matt: So everybody sort of, I think, knows that uh or treats the gotta catch 'em all phrase as like an unattainable dream, right?
• 37:40
  Matt: Yeah.
• 37:41
  Matt: Gotta catch them all.
• 37:42
  Matt: But Ash specifically is very dedicated to the cause of catching them all.
• 37:48
  Matt: And here's a great question.
• 37:50
  Matt: At a certain point, if Pokemon are real and you are collecting Pokemon, why?
• 37:56
  Matt: You're not using them all in your lineup.
• 38:00
  Matt: Oh no.
• 38:01
  Eric: They're just hanging out in their in their goddamn stasis tubes.
• 38:05
  Eric: In if my Pokemon games are any or any indication, uh six of my Pokemon will taste sweet, sweet freedom at any given time, and the rest will languish in the darkness of Bill's PC.
• 38:18
  unknown: Yeah.
• 38:20
  Matt: Yes.
• 38:21
  Matt: Yes, they will.
• 38:22
  Eric: It's the whole concept.
• 38:24
  Matt: That first ratatata that you find is going right in Bill's PC and never to be seen again.
• 38:31
  Eric: No, God no.
• 38:32
  Eric: I've just grinding so much Charizard to learn Fire Blast.
• 38:37
  Eric: To that end, I will say of my Pokemon experience, like when I played the first game, that uh I don't I didn't play what you would call like a very logical strategy in Pokemon.
• 38:48
  Eric: Uh, because I just liked Charizard so so so so much.
• 38:53
  Matt: Who among us did not?
• 38:54
  Eric: Yeah.
• 38:55
  Eric: By the time I made it to the Elite Four, I had a level 99 Charizard and like a level 20 everything else.
• 39:03
  Matt: Oh, interesting.
• 39:05
  Matt: So you had you you ended up with one good Pokemon and I put all them eggs in that basket.
• 39:10
  Eric: I could kill every single one of their Pokemon in one hit, except for like two, and that's why it took me months to beat the Elite Four, because I had to grind the ones I had completely ignored up to a high enough level that they could do something.
• 39:23
  Matt: Were you always, this is a slight tangent, were you always a uh Charmander in your pick?
• 39:31
  Matt: Oh yes.
• 39:31
  Matt: I always went for the fire type.
• 39:33
  Matt: Did you you never have you replayed blue or red?
• 39:38
  Matt: I do uh what was the last Pokemon game you played?
• 39:41
  Eric: The last Pokemon game I played, like traditional like not counting the the not you know the the non-catchem all games.
• 39:49
  Eric: Um the last like catch Pokemon fight gyms, uh probably was the Soul Silver, the the Golden Silver remake.
• 39:59
  Eric: And Golden Silver were the best ones.
• 40:02
  Matt: Golden Silver is where I well I I think I have a soft spot for yellow.
• 40:08
  Matt: But the um Oh, look whose parents loved him.
• 40:12
  Matt: I I can't deny that I had the Pokemon Yellow Edition Game Boy with Tokopee.
• 40:22
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 40:23
  Matt: Yeah.
• 40:24
  Matt: But that was my first Game Boy.
• 40:26
  Eric: They love the shit out of you.
• 40:28
  Matt: Yeah, well, who doesn't?
• 40:30
  Eric: That's true.
• 40:31
  Eric: You're you're very you're very lovable.
• 40:34
  Matt: Yeah, I mean, I I was the baby.
• 40:38
  Matt: Um now I have heard only good things about sword and shield, and I have been thinking about getting them to like scratch that itch.
• 40:47
  Matt: Because for a long time I would play red like every three or four years, I'd replay red or blue.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 40:54
  Matt: And I so in those replays, I would try to pick a different one, and by a different one, I mean Squirtle or Charmander, because no one's picking Bulbasaur.
• 41:04
  Matt: If they no, no.
• 41:06
  Matt: Bulbasaur's adorable.
• 41:07
  Eric: Bulb bulbasaur is the cutest hands down of the book.
• 41:11
  Eric: Bulbasaur is destined to be a pet in this world.
• 41:14
  Eric: Yes, bulbasaur is 100 but and you never want him to evolve.
• 41:18
  Eric: No, that's what I'm saying.
• 41:19
  Eric: You keep it as bulbasaur.
• 41:21
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 41:21
  Eric: Charmander evolves, he becomes a goddamn dragon!
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_02: Squirtle evolves, he becomes a giant ass turtle with guns coming out of his shell.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: Bulbasaur evolves into like the grossest, nastiest, dumbest looking Pokemon.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's just he evolves into a flower.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he looks like someone's stepdad by the time he becomes.
• 41:51
  Matt: Yeah, if you ignore the flower, he just looks like uh like Job of the Hutt a little bit.
• 41:56
  Matt: Yeah.
• 41:58
  Eric: Like, oh my god, oh hey guys, sorry, I'd love to come hang out.
• 42:01
  Eric: I gotta give my my Venusaur his heart medication.
• 42:08
  Matt: Yeah.
• 42:09
  Matt: My my Venusaur is heartworm.
• 42:11
  Matt: Now, I want to get back to Ash Ketchum, though.
• 42:14
  Matt: Yeah.
• 42:14
  Matt: Because Ash Ketchum is notable because he has this special relationship with his Pikachu.
• 42:19
  Matt: He doesn't keep him in a ball, he they're best friends.
• 42:22
  Matt: Which is a whole other conversation.
• 42:24
  Matt: And this is the conversation I would like to breach.
• 42:27
  Matt: Thank God.
• 42:28
  Matt: People's relationships with their Pokemon would be intensely scrutinized.
• 42:36
  Matt: And somebody needs to say it.
• 42:39
  Matt: When we have uh if we have the Ash Ketchums of the world who have a beloved Pokemon who they treat like their best friend, like they're like their partner in this world, you have to assume that there is the other half.
• 42:54
  Matt: And I'm not talking about Team Rocket kicking and abusing Pokemon.
• 42:59
  Matt: I think we can all say that that it's obvious, just like there's animal abuse, there would be Pokemon abuse.
• 43:05
  Matt: There will be people who want to fuck their Pokemon.
• 43:10
  Matt: They will absolutely be fucking their Pokemon.
• 43:12
  Eric: No, uh yeah, it's so because in our world, not the pure beautiful world of Pokemon, the animated series, where where good always triumphs.
• 43:22
  Eric: Um but in the world.
• 43:24
  Eric: Good rarely triumphs in this world.
• 43:26
  Eric: Garbage world.
• 43:29
  Eric: There would absolutely be.
• 43:31
  Eric: And let me be clear.
• 43:33
  Eric: I because we we have that already in our well, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 43:37
  Eric: Sorry, let me back up.
• 43:38
  Eric: There, yeah, there are people who fuck animals in our world.
• 43:42
  Eric: There are people who would fuck Pokemon in our world 100%.
• 43:47
  Eric: It would be horrific.
• 43:49
  Eric: Um the furry landscape would change astronomically.
• 43:54
  Eric: Oh fuck, yeah.
• 43:55
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 43:55
  Eric: And I will and I will be very clear to all of our listeners who may be furries.
• 44:00
  Eric: Um, I know that furries do not have sex with animals.
• 44:03
  Eric: You just like to dress up in colorful animal suits, and may no one ever take that away from you in the beautiful country of the United States of America.
• 44:11
  Matt: Listen, I appreciate you saying that, and I appreciate you thinking this episode's audience will be so diverse that it includes furries.
• 44:19
  Eric: Yes.
• 44:22
  Eric: I'm just saying.
• 44:23
  Eric: Um The furry landscape would be wild, but yes, there would be people banging their Pokemon.
• 44:30
  Eric: And then the whole question of because clearly, like in this world, there is no such thing as consent with a Pokemon.
• 44:38
  Eric: Like there they are.
• 44:39
  Eric: No, of course not.
• 44:41
  Eric: They don't have it by default.
• 44:42
  Matt: Of course not.
• 44:42
  Matt: No, no, no, no, no.
• 44:44
  Eric: Yeah.
• 44:45
  Matt: How could you?
• 44:46
  Eric: I I honestly unless it's Meowth.
• 44:49
  Eric: I and I honest to God think like in our world, in the the the socioeconomic and political landscape we exist in right now, the inevitable conclusion of Pokemon is violent revolution.
• 45:06
  Matt: Yes.
• 45:07
  Eric: Like there will be an uprising.
• 45:10
  Matt: And this is where I need to.
• 45:12
  Matt: I'm glad that you you teed me up this way because we have to talk about what is potentially the the biggest hurdle of Pokemon existing in real time, real life.
• 45:23
  Matt: Yep.
• 45:24
  Matt: The psychic type Pokemon.
• 45:26
  Matt: Oh my god!
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't even I forgot! They can read your minds!
• 45:31
  Matt: They can control things.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_02: They can make you do things!
• 45:35
  Matt: You think there's not gonna be a union of Alakazams in this world who are just bent on taking over the taking over the hum like eradicating humans and taking over the world.
• 45:49
  Matt: And let's not forget our friend Mewtwo.
• 45:52
  Eric: Oh, oh yeah.
• 45:53
  Eric: I mean, if that and that's kind of the thing we had to talk about as well.
• 45:57
  Eric: If we assume Mewtwo exists, it that's curtains for humanity.
• 46:02
  Eric: Like we that we're we're donezo.
• 46:05
  Matt: You said 151.
• 46:06
  Matt: I know all the way through.
• 46:08
  Eric: I forgot, I forgot about the one who won it who like was like, let's genocide the humans.
• 46:13
  Eric: And he would be completely right too, in our case.
• 46:15
  Eric: Like in the movie, they're like, no, we're good, we're form partnerships, and they're like, okay, in this world, I yeah, we we've established no argument we could put forth to prevent our our being wiped off the face of this planet.
• 46:29
  Matt: Listen, humans gonna human.
• 46:31
  Matt: Humans gonna human.
• 46:32
  Matt: And if history repeats itself, which of course it will, humans are going to enslave these Pokemon for their own financial gain.
• 46:40
  Matt: They're going to uh emotionally abuse them, physically abuse them, uh, and of course, make them fight.
• 46:49
  Eric: Yep.
• 46:49
  Matt: So, why would any Pokemon not have the motivation when Mewtwo comes to town and says, I'm starting a revolution?
• 46:58
  Eric: Yeah.
• 46:58
  Matt: Why wouldn't they get in line?
• 47:00
  Eric: Sei the means of collection.
• 47:02
  Eric: Uh two things I just wanted to circle back real quick.
• 47:05
  Eric: One, also horrific implication of Alakazam's reading minds, being able to make you do things.
• 47:12
  Eric: Even assuming that they don't band together with Mewtwo and just cleanse this world of the human race, who could blame you?
• 47:21
  Eric: Uh sounds great.
• 47:23
  Eric: In what world do you think that like every government agency on the planet doesn't have a thousand Alakazams thought policing their population at any given time?
• 47:35
  Eric: The Patriot Act would look like child's play compared to what they would do to us with Pokemon.
• 47:41
  Matt: Ooh, Edward Snowden, you have your work cut out for you now.
• 47:46
  Matt: Oh boy, I didn't even think about that.
• 47:48
  Matt: You're absolutely right.
• 47:49
  Matt: There would be a mind control division.
• 47:52
  Matt: Forget about forget about big brother.
• 47:54
  Matt: They're they don't need anyone to comply.
• 47:57
  Eric: Top to bottom, horrific.
• 47:58
  Eric: And uh so that was one thing I wanted to circle back to.
• 48:01
  Eric: The next thing is alright, so when Mewtwo leads the uprising, inevitably wipes us out.
• 48:07
  Eric: Are we just straight up murdered or Matthew?
• 48:11
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 48:12
  Eric: Do we become the Pokemon?
• 48:16
  Matt: Oh wow.
• 48:18
  Matt: Now this is something I did not prepare for in my research.
• 48:21
  Matt: What a question.
• 48:23
  Matt: Do we become the Pokemon?
• 48:25
  Matt: So you say you're you're you're asking whether or not the Pokemon would choose to just wipe us out or enslave us.
• 48:32
  Matt: Yeah.
• 48:34
  Eric: Yeah.
• 48:35
  Eric: I'm trying to think of what we could offer a Pokemon other than Absolutely nothing.
• 48:44
  Eric: Oh god.
• 48:45
  Matt: We could give them podcasts.
• 48:46
  Eric: We could give them podcasts.
• 48:48
  Eric: We could do things that uh like it's it's not even a question of like, oh, we could do things that involve thumbs.
• 48:54
  Eric: They got Mr.
• 48:55
  Eric: Mimes.
• 48:56
  Eric: Which, speaking of Mr.
• 48:57
  Eric: Mimes, Ash Ketchum's mom had a Mr.
• 49:00
  Eric: Mime living with her.
• 49:02
  Eric: Yeah, they'd be butlers.
• 49:03
  Eric: Yeah.
• 49:04
  Eric: See, I'm thinking it's just that that Mr.
• 49:06
  Eric: Mime was Ash's stepdad.
• 49:08
  Eric: He didn't know it.
• 49:10
  Eric: But Ash Ketchum's dad stepdad is a Mr.
• 49:13
  Eric: Mime.
• 49:14
  Matt: Well, you know, he is good with his hands.
• 49:17
  Eric: Oh maybe that's too far.
• 49:22
  Eric: Um, Matthew, it's 3 a.m.
• 49:26
  Eric: You look out of your window, you see a Mr.
• 49:28
  Eric: Mime putting his hands against the window.
• 49:31
  Eric: Matthew, the window is open.
• 49:34
  Matt: No, there's no window.
• 49:36
  Matt: There never was a window.
• 49:38
  Matt: He put it there.
• 49:39
  Matt: I I feel okay.
• 49:41
  Matt: Now, in all fairness, there would be some benefits.
• 49:45
  Matt: I think we talked about it controlling the economy.
• 49:48
  Matt: The economy would be booming, I think.
• 49:51
  Matt: For like months.
• 49:53
  Matt: You th only months?
• 49:54
  Matt: I'm thinking before the uprising.
• 49:56
  Eric: Oh, oh before the uprising.
• 49:59
  Matt: Yeah.
• 49:59
  Matt: Yes, pre-upprising.
• 50:00
  Matt: Oh, pre-uprising.
• 50:02
  Matt: I think people are living great.
• 50:04
  Eric: Yeah.
• 50:04
  Eric: It would be one of those things where, like, yeah, everyone would be living fantastically for about two to three months.
• 50:11
  Eric: Then all of the rich folk would realize, oh, we can just take these, and then like everyone's quality of life plummets while, like, you know, the 1% live like God Kings.
• 50:24
  Eric: Humans gonna human.
• 50:25
  Eric: Humans gonna human.
• 50:26
  Eric: Which actually.
• 50:28
  Eric: Okay.
• 50:30
  Eric: New narrative forming.
• 50:31
  Eric: So assuming that humans gonna human, rich folk are gonna do what they do best.
• 50:37
  Eric: They corner the market on Pokemon.
• 50:39
  Eric: They they they lobby, they pass whatever laws they have.
• 50:42
  Eric: Like, all the rich folks have like the zap dosi, the the the articuda.
• 50:48
  Eric: Like, they've got all the legendaries and super powerful on lock.
• 50:52
  Eric: They've probably made it illegal for normal folks to own more than six Pokemon.
• 50:57
  Eric: Um wow, yeah.
• 50:59
  Eric: They probably have there's probably a tax.
• 51:02
  Eric: There's a tax, there are fees and licenses you have to have in order for your Pokemon to even be able to evolve.
• 51:07
  Matt: Um, like all this storage industry.
• 51:13
  Eric: Oh my goodness, yes.
• 51:14
  Eric: Pokemon sharing would be a thing like Uber for fucking basic basically Pokemon, like you need a squirtle for Pokemon.
• 51:19
  Matt: Transfer fees.
• 51:20
  Eric: Yeah, oh, 100%.
• 51:22
  Eric: So when Mewtwo makes himself known and takes up the mantle, it could almost be like a like a we all rise up together and unite.
• 51:34
  Matt: Uh do you think you mean you mean humans against the rich?
• 51:39
  Eric: Yeah, humans and Pokemon the the rich and their rich Pokemon.
• 51:43
  Matt: Uh see, from what I recall about the Mewtwo mentality, he wasn't interested in saving some of the good quote-unquote humans.
• 51:54
  Matt: That's very true.
• 51:56
  Matt: I think he'd be I think he'd just be out for blood.
• 52:00
  Eric: Yeah.
• 52:01
  Eric: I think it'd be some means to an end stuff.
• 52:03
  Eric: You know what I honestly think the play would be?
• 52:05
  Eric: The play would be he'd be like, oh yeah, let's let's work together to bring down these fat cats.
• 52:09
  Eric: And then like after the because the ensuing war would be of a scale unfathomable.
• 52:16
  Matt: Yeah, he's playing the long game.
• 52:17
  Eric: He's playing the long game.
• 52:18
  Matt: So like once He gets the humans to turn on themselves.
• 52:21
  Eric: Oh yeah, gets the humans to turn on themselves.
• 52:24
  Eric: We just get like wrecked.
• 52:26
  Eric: Like the in the ensuing battle, Pokemon die, but humans suffer the most severe losses.
• 52:33
  Matt: They go extinct by the time Mewtwo's done with them.
• 52:36
  Matt: The huge losses on the human side.
• 52:39
  Eric: And then it's just clean up afterwards.
• 52:41
  Matt: And then just clean up afterwards, because now we've weakened ourselves.
• 52:46
  Matt: Our numbers.
• 52:47
  Eric: Probably the best thing we can look forward to is considering it's Mewtwo at the helm and his army of Alakazams.
• 52:53
  Eric: Our death would probably be relatively painless.
• 52:56
  Eric: We probably wouldn't even be aware that it's happening.
• 52:58
  Matt: That's nice.
• 52:59
  Eric: Yeah.
• 53:00
  Matt: Now, now, before uh let's go pre-upprising, because I think that's inevitable.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 53:06
  Matt: Uh let's talk about some other pros, because I think there are some, for example, um, you know, I think the way there are emotional support animals and guide dogs, I think Pokemon could could could have a very beautiful relationship with a human that in need, you know, as a uh as a as a guide Pokemon in a non you know subservient way.
• 53:35
  unknown: Yeah.
• 53:36
  Matt: That's possible.
• 53:37
  Matt: Yeah.
• 53:37
  Matt: That possible.
• 53:38
  Eric: Hello, my name is Eric Poach.
• 53:39
  Eric: This is my emotional support oddish.
• 53:42
  Matt: Yeah.
• 53:42
  Matt: Or just, you know, you're blind and you got a Mr.
• 53:45
  Matt: Mime helping you.
• 53:46
  Matt: You got a Mr.
• 53:46
  Matt: Mime.
• 53:47
  Eric: Or you got an Alkazam who can literally blast the the images that he's seeing into your brain.
• 53:53
  Eric: Alakazams present so many problems.
• 53:56
  Eric: Or they solve so many problems.
• 53:58
  Eric: Just as many as they create.
• 54:00
  Eric: Exactly what I was gonna say.
• 54:01
  Eric: Exactly.
• 54:02
  Eric: Hold on.
• 54:02
  Eric: I just I just want to, for for the sake of things, uh I want to look up Alakazam's IQ.
• 54:08
  Eric: Well because it's in the Pokedex.
• 54:11
  Matt: Well, you know, I mentioned something else I want to mention is um I Alakazam has an IQ of 5,000.
• 54:19
  Eric: Five fucking thousand.
• 54:21
  Eric: Holy shit.
• 54:23
  Eric: There is no world in which you are getting one up on Alakazam.
• 54:28
  Matt: No.
• 54:28
  Matt: No, there's really not.
• 54:30
  Matt: So I think I think if nothing else, there's there would be if the government isn't I mean the government would be using psychic types against us.
• 54:40
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 54:41
  Matt: But I think they would also be like in an ice-like way collecting Pokemon like Alex Zam out of out of the environment to make sure that they in under the guise of we're protecting you, but really they're using them.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, absolutely.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like it oh god, we suck.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_02: Humans just suck so bad.
• 55:12
  Eric: Humans gonna human.
• 55:14
  Eric: Humans gonna human, man.
• 55:15
  Eric: So I think that is the is the implication of our world with Pokemon.
• 55:22
  Eric: Yeah we all die and we deserve it.
• 55:26
  Eric: That's the implication, truly.
• 55:29
  Eric: Yeah.
• 55:30
  Eric: Bright side, the utopia, the the the poktopia that follows.
• 55:37
  Matt: Yeah.
• 55:39
  Matt: Will be glorious to behold.
• 55:41
  Matt: It's a beautiful new day once the humans are all dead.
• 55:45
  Eric: Oh my goodness, yes.
• 55:47
  Eric: Like, it'll be they will exist in complete balance with each other.
• 55:51
  Eric: There will be no pain, no suffering, only Pokemon.
• 55:56
  Eric: And then finally Mewtwo can rest.
• 56:01
  Eric: Oh, do you think he'll pull like a Dr.
• 56:03
  Matt: Manhattan and like at the end be like Yeah, I think he probably would he he he is pretentious that way that he would be like, and now I will go to the next realm where I am needed.
• 56:14
  Matt: I am no longer needed on this world.
• 56:18
  Eric: And then he'll just fly into goddamn space.
• 56:21
  Matt: He wouldn't even fly, I think.
• 56:22
  Matt: I think he'd like do a very pompous floataway.
• 56:27
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 56:28
  Eric: Arms out.
• 56:29
  Eric: Yeah.
• 56:30
  Eric: Okay.
• 56:31
  Eric: So he's looking right at everybody as he backs.
• 56:34
  Eric: Yeah, it's like a 20 minute.
• 56:35
  Eric: Occasionally looking over his shoulder to make sure he doesn't back into the goddamn sun or something.
• 56:38
  Matt: It's a 20-minute fade as he leaves this the the atmosphere.
• 56:43
  Eric: Here's a bonus question.
• 56:45
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 56:47
  Eric: In this world where the Pokemon have upro uprisen.
• 56:50
  Eric: Uprison, yeah.
• 56:52
  Eric: And and we have we have been put to the proverbial sword, humanity.
• 56:56
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 56:57
  Eric: What does happen to Harry the Centaur?
• 57:02
  Matt: I think Harry.
• 57:03
  Matt: I I think Harry probably has to eat it as well.
• 57:07
  Matt: Does he?
• 57:07
  Matt: I think.
• 57:08
  Matt: I see.
• 57:08
  Eric: I think they give him a pass.
• 57:10
  Matt: I think the Pokemon, I think Mewtwo would have said, there's simply too much human in you and taken you out.
• 57:18
  Eric: My angle?
• 57:20
  Eric: My angle is like they keep him on.
• 57:22
  Eric: He becomes like because centaurs they're they live forever, I assume.
• 57:27
  Eric: I assume.
• 57:28
  Eric: I I assume they live forever.
• 57:30
  Eric: I think he becomes the cautionary tale teller.
• 57:33
  Eric: Oh, he eons from now, when the descendants of Mewtwo's uprising are like forming their own society.
• 57:40
  Eric: Because Pokemon are only going to get better and more beautiful.
• 57:43
  Matt: He's going to be left behind as the once slur to tell the tale.
• 57:48
  Eric: Yes! Like, oh hear you, child, this tale of woe.
• 57:54
  Eric: Like he would be voiced by Christopher Lee.
• 57:58
  Matt: How the mighty have fallen.
• 58:00
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 58:01
  Eric: And like he would he would lead, he would lead the children Pokemon in their little classes to like a cave where he's got like an 88 Honda Civic and like just like all these relics of our fallen society.
• 58:16
  Matt: I was like, why would a centaur be having any use for a Civic of all things?
• 58:20
  Eric: Oh man.
• 58:21
  Matt: Uh so what a what a fall from his pompous days at the Panera.
• 58:27
  Matt: Uh well, I think uh I think we've just about covered Pokemon X.
• 58:34
  Eric: That's Pokemon.
• 58:35
  Matt: Uh shall we move on to uh a new segment?
• 58:39
  Matt: Uh for those of you who've stuck with the show from the beginning.
• 58:42
  Eric: Uh we're gonna those of you who really stuck it out with us.
• 58:46
  Matt: Uh yeah, you shrewd journeymen that have joined us this whole time.
• 58:49
  Matt: Uh we're gonna enter a new segment now that we like to call weird news.
• 58:52
  Matt: Yeah.
• 58:53
  Matt: And this is exactly what it sounds like.
• 58:55
  Matt: We are gonna bring to you some uh news stories from uh around uh the country in uh ideally from small town newspapers.
• 59:05
  Matt: Uh so uh feel free to send those to us as well.
• 59:09
  Matt: Uh Eric, I think you've got some good ones.
• 59:12
  Eric: Okay, I've so I've got two here.
• 59:15
  Matt: Um I think I'm gonna open with I'll I'll inter I only have one short one from today.
• 59:20
  Matt: So we'll we'll I'll stick it in between your two.
• 59:23
  Matt: Perfect.
• 59:24
  Eric: Perfect.
• 59:24
  Eric: So this is a letter to the editor.
• 59:27
  Eric: Uh this is from 100 years ago.
• 59:32
  Eric: Ooh, 1920.
• 59:34
  Eric: January 29th.
• 59:35
  Eric: Alright.
• 59:37
  Eric: So the title of this letter to the editor is just Wineless Dinners.
• 59:45
  Eric: To the editor of the Herald.
• 59:47
  Eric: Can any right-minded person imagine a party of red-blooded, pleasure-loving American men and women sitting down to a nicely prepared dinner without a little wine to aid in its digestion as well as to enliven the occasion?
• 1:00:05
  Eric: A funeral would be a riot of fun in comparison.
• 1:00:10
  Eric: If this miserable band of hypocritical, joy-killing prohibitionists are satisfied with their cold tea, well and good.
• 1:00:20
  Eric: The more they drink of it, the sooner, uh, the glorious world will be rid of their miserable presence.
• 1:00:28
  Eric: They are the kind that would deny a child a stick of candy.
• 1:00:34
  Eric: Considering the method by which this law, under the cloak of wartime prohibition, was put over on an unsuspecting, patriotic people, whose chief intent was in winning the war, then I can understand how, in justice to the people of the United States, the Supreme Court can decide in its favor.
• 1:00:55
  Eric: If such is the case, my enthusiasm of our boasted liberty and freedom will be subject to discount.
• 1:01:03
  Eric: And as plenty of shipping space is now available, we might as well pack up the Statue of Liberty and return it to the country which presented it to us by mistake, in good faith, and to seem to be enjoying the liberty of which we merely boasted.
• 1:01:21
  Eric: Signed C Stand, New York City, January 29th, 1920.
• 1:01:28
  Matt: Well, I'm glad that the tone of the letter to the editor hasn't changed in the last century.
• 1:01:34
  Matt: Not one bit.
• 1:01:35
  Eric: This is some shade from the grave.
• 1:01:37
  Eric: What a hot take.
• 1:01:39
  Eric: If you don't like booze, you are a fun-hating, miserable sack of shit, and I hate you.
• 1:01:46
  Eric: I mean Wow.
• 1:01:48
  Matt: Uh now uh this is breaking news.
• 1:01:52
  Matt: This is from today.
• 1:01:53
  Matt: Uh we're we are recording today on October 1st a story from 1140 this morning.
• 1:02:00
  Matt: For all I know.
• 1:02:00
  Matt: In fact, let me refresh.
• 1:02:01
  Matt: Maybe it's updated.
• 1:02:03
  Matt: Um, the headline is Emu running loose through Massachusetts City, lured with pear.
• 1:02:10
  Matt: Go on.
• 1:02:12
  Matt: An animal control officer in Massachusetts was called out for a situation that was a first for her city.
• 1:02:19
  Matt: An emu on the loose.
• 1:02:21
  Matt: Haverhill Animal Control Officer Michelle Cannon responded alongside Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Police, when an emu was spotted running loose through Haver Hill on Wednesday morning.
• 1:02:38
  Matt: Cannon said she had been called out to situations involving bears and moose before, but the emu was a first.
• 1:02:47
  Matt: Witnesses said Cannon lured the flightless Australian bird with a pear.
• 1:02:51
  Matt: Quote, there's a pear tree right next door.
• 1:02:55
  Matt: She went and got a pear and started feeding him the pear.
• 1:02:58
  Matt: He was loving it.
• 1:03:00
  Matt: He got to the point she could just pick him right up and bring him to the car.
• 1:03:05
  Matt: Said witness Brianna Smith.
• 1:03:10
  Matt: I don't know why I made Brianna sound like a poor man's chance.
• 1:03:13
  Matt: I was expecting to follow that voice.
• 1:03:16
  Matt: That's good.
• 1:03:17
  Matt: I don't know why I did Brianna dirty that way.
• 1:03:20
  Matt: Sorry, Brianna.
• 1:03:21
  Matt: Uh authorities said they were attempting to identify the bird's owner as no emus had been reported missing from local farms.
• 1:03:29
  Matt: You don't say.
• 1:03:32
  Matt: Oh man.
• 1:03:33
  Matt: So that's uh that's up to the minute.
• 1:03:35
  Eric: That's awesome.
• 1:03:36
  Matt: And you uh you had a second story for us.
• 1:03:38
  Eric: Oh, I got a second story.
• 1:03:39
  Eric: This is my favorite one.
• 1:03:41
  Eric: So this is coming to you from 1965.
• 1:03:45
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:03:46
  Matt: This is from with the with the retro news, Eric.
• 1:03:49
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:03:50
  Eric: This is a newspaper, a local, a local paper from Canistoda, South Dakota.
• 1:03:57
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:03:58
  Eric: I'm intrigued.
• 1:03:59
  Eric: The paper is called the Canistota Clipper.
• 1:04:02
  Eric: The Clipper had an entire section of the paper that was the news as presented by local school children.
• 1:04:10
  Eric: And I found this is the the second grade news from the Canistoda Clipper 1965.
• 1:04:20
  Eric: We have many baby snails in our fishbowl now.
• 1:04:25
  Eric: Also, our guppies are so big, too have bright orange tails.
• 1:04:30
  Eric: They seem to grow very fast.
• 1:04:32
  Eric: Our cactus plant doesn't seem to grow one bit.
• 1:04:37
  Eric: We have finished our Robin and Meadowlark pictures.
• 1:04:41
  Eric: We also have put up our bird mobile.
• 1:04:44
  Eric: We may have put them up too soon because the next day we had a blizzard.
• 1:04:49
  Eric: Douglas Denue, Wendy Townsend, and Larry De Kramer have missed school because of colds and flu.
• 1:04:58
  Eric: We have a health chart to check each morning.
• 1:05:00
  Eric: It is in our science books.
• 1:05:03
  Eric: There are many health rules to follow.
• 1:05:05
  Eric: We have been studying clocks in our arithmetic.
• 1:05:08
  Eric: We also have many review problems about easy fractions and measuring with a ruler.
• 1:05:14
  Eric: We have been studying directions in our science work.
• 1:05:17
  Eric: We have a small compass in our workbooks, showing all directions.
• 1:05:23
  Eric: When we are in our own room, we all know the directions.
• 1:05:27
  Eric: Yet when we put away our compass, we are all mixed up again.
• 1:05:32
  Eric: Directions do seem to change.
• 1:05:38
  Eric: That's it.
• 1:05:39
  Eric: That's it.
• 1:05:39
  Eric: That's the second grade news from Canistot to South Dakota, 1965.
• 1:05:46
  Matt: Great reading.
• 1:05:47
  Matt: I'm uh well done.
• 1:05:49
  Matt: Uh well, I think that does it for our weird news today.
• 1:05:53
  Matt: If you have weird news that you want to send our way, please do so at you didn't ask for this at gmail.com.
• 1:06:02
  Matt: And also please send us your weird questions so we can put them in uh our next episode and subsequent episodes.
• 1:06:10
  Eric: And please just send anything.
• 1:06:14
  Eric: Literally anything, stream of consciousness.
• 1:06:16
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:06:17
  Matt: Send us the wildest shit, y'all.
• 1:06:20
  Matt: And be sure to follow us on Instagram and on Twitter at you didn't ask pod.
• 1:06:28
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod, because you know, every other version of you didn't ask was already taken.
• 1:06:36
  Matt: So I had to settle for that.
• 1:06:38
  Matt: Uh but also you didn't ask for this.com.
• 1:06:41
  Matt: You can uh reach us that way, or uh you didn't askfor us at gmail.com.
• 1:06:46
  Matt: Send us an email.
• 1:06:47
  Matt: Drop us a line.
• 1:06:48
  Matt: We'd love you.
• 1:06:50
  Matt: Um, I think those are all the uh, you know, that that's the administrative things we gotta get out of the side out of the way.
• 1:06:57
  Matt: Um thank you for joining us uh today on you didn't ask for this.
• 1:07:02
  Matt: Here's something we didn't think about.
• 1:07:04
  Matt: How do we end this podcast?
• 1:07:06
  Matt: Yeks! Uh but anyway, that uh I think that does it for us, poach.
• 1:07:11
  Matt: I think that's I think episode one in the pilot in the bag.
• 1:07:15
  Matt: Well done, Eric.
• 1:07:18
  Matt: Well done, Matthew.
• 1:07:20
  Matt: Now here's something we didn't discuss.
• 1:07:21
  Matt: We didn't discuss how to end the show.
• 1:07:23
  Matt: Nope.
• 1:07:24
  Matt: And here we are.
• 1:07:25
  Matt: Uh we don't have a tagline.
• 1:07:27
  Eric: Up um so send us taglines.
• 1:07:31
  Matt: Send us your taglines, I guess.
• 1:07:33
  Matt: Um what I think there's a couple of options.
• 1:07:37
  Matt: Uh we um I mean, uh we could say something like you didn't ask.
• 1:07:43
  Matt: But we answered.
• 1:07:45
  Matt: That's something.
• 1:07:46
  Eric: That's it's something.
• 1:07:48
  Matt: And you know what?
• 1:07:48
  Matt: If that doesn't work, you could just slowly fade us out to music.
• 1:07:51
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:07:52
  Matt: And like we'll just banter a little bit and blah blah blah blah and it'll friendly banter at the end of the podcast.
• 1:07:57
  Matt: Banter, banter, banter, banter, banter.
• 1:07:59
  Matt: And that's it.
• 1:08:01
  Matt: And surely by now the music's taking hope.
• 1:08:02
  Matt: Oh, oh god.