Latest / The Scorpion by Anna Elisabet Weirauch. / 15 - The Scorpion.

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15 - The Scorpion. · The Scorpion by Anna Elisabet Weirauch.

0:00
Speaker 1: They sat first in the basket chairs in front of
0:02
Speaker 1: a cafe with little lamps that had roses on the
0:05
Speaker 1: silk shades and pearl fringes. There were Gisela Kramer Mara
0:09
Speaker 1: Luigi will craft John. They ate fruit ices and waffles
0:13
Speaker 1: and drank a sweet liqueur in order as Gisbert said.
0:16
Speaker 1: To prevent a glaciation of their stomach walls. But Mara
0:20
Speaker 1: Luigi who had been dancing and craft and John who
0:23
Speaker 1: had been to the concert had not eaten that evening
0:26
Speaker 1: and expressed their cravings for a real beefsteak. So they
0:30
Speaker 1: traveled two doors farther down to a wine restaurant where
0:33
Speaker 1: the orchestra was playing the same pieces in a somewhat
0:36
Speaker 1: different order. After their meal they went to the nearest
0:39
Speaker 1: bar and drank a Sweden punch and a bottle of champagne,
0:42
Speaker 1: and Mara Luigi danced with Giesbert and Kraft, which caused
0:46
Speaker 1: all the other dancers to stop and stare with interest.
0:49
Speaker 1: Myra felt her vanity somewhat flattered because she was with
0:53
Speaker 1: such excellent dancers. But the official closing time came. The
0:57
Speaker 1: waiters brought the bill. turned down the lights and drew
1:00
Speaker 1: the heavy purple curtains across the windows. But nobody thought
1:04
Speaker 1: of getting up and going. At a neighboring table were
1:07
Speaker 1: sitting a beautiful blonde woman and two gentlemen. Myra kept
1:11
Speaker 1: staring at her all evening. The blonde woman regarded everything
1:15
Speaker 1: with a smiling or surprised curiosity, as if she were
1:19
Speaker 1: at a zoological garden, while the two robust gentlemen sat
1:23
Speaker 1: beside her as if it were their task to shield
1:25
Speaker 1: her from every impertinent glance and every poisonous breath. Probably
1:30
Speaker 1: one of them is her husband, the other her brother,
1:32
Speaker 1: thought Myra. There is a place unoccupied at their table,
1:36
Speaker 1: why don't I sit there? Don't I belong among that
1:39
Speaker 1: kind of people? By family, education, training and manners? The
1:44
Speaker 1: smooth-shaven man is certainly her brother. He's the dead image
1:48
Speaker 1: of her. Wouldn't it be much more suitable if I
1:50
Speaker 1: were married to him, and were making a little evening
1:53
Speaker 1: out with my brother and sister-in-law? That would be very nice.
1:58
Speaker 1: but why do I want that? Merely because I have
2:01
Speaker 1: a nostalgia for perfectly plain simple bourgeois surroundings, or because
2:05
Speaker 1: that lovely woman pleases me. When the three people had
2:09
Speaker 1: left the neighboring table, Myra began to find it quite
2:12
Speaker 1: boresome and sterile. She was tired and had had her fill,
2:16
Speaker 1: but it seemed to her as if something further must
2:18
Speaker 1: happen in order to give this senseless expenditure of time
2:21
Speaker 1: and money some semblance of justification. She was afraid that
2:25
Speaker 1: it would happen again as always, when she left a
2:28
Speaker 1: party early because she could not endure the boredom of
2:31
Speaker 1: it any longer. Everybody would say to her next day, Oh,
2:35
Speaker 1: what a pity that you went so early, it was
2:37
Speaker 1: especially nice later on, we met so and so, and
2:40
Speaker 1: we had such a good time. Gisela was all for
2:43
Speaker 1: going to the club. The others, except Kraft, who never
2:47
Speaker 1: touched a card, not from moral scruples, but because they
2:50
Speaker 1: bored him to death, agreed. Myra was a little frightened.
2:55
Speaker 1: She knew that it would turn out as usual. Gisela
2:58
Speaker 1: would play and lose. Then Myra would try to save
3:01
Speaker 1: something and place her own bet, with some caution and discretion,
3:05
Speaker 1: and would win twice and lose three times. Or the
3:08
Speaker 1: other way round. Next door was the real beer shop
3:11
Speaker 1: whose window gave on the street. More chairs and tables,
3:15
Speaker 1: the tank with its brightly polished taps and a player
3:18
Speaker 1: piano against the wall. The place was in almost total darkness,
3:23
Speaker 1: only a little night lamp above the buffet was reflected
3:26
Speaker 1: in the metal trimmings. In one corner they saw two
3:29
Speaker 1: shadowy figures that seemed to be wrestling, and heard suppressed gigglings.
3:34
Speaker 1: They returned to the first room and Emil, as he
3:37
Speaker 1: was called on all sides, assisted them to find a
3:40
Speaker 1: cozy table and the necessary number of chairs. Myra regarded
3:44
Speaker 1: the people around her with a mixture of curiosity, sympathy
3:48
Speaker 1: and aversion. Not far off, there was sitting a fat
3:52
Speaker 1: black-bearded man on whose broad and hairy hand a rosy
3:55
Speaker 1: solitaire flashed and sparkled. and that fat-fingered hand adorned with
3:59
Speaker 1: rings was toying with the head and shoulder of a
4:01
Speaker 1: pale young lad, clad in what was obviously an outworn
4:05
Speaker 1: Sunday best. He seemed half brazen and half embarrassed. At
4:09
Speaker 1: another table was seated a distinguished-looking old gentleman, whose finely
4:14
Speaker 1: chiseled features and grey Van Dyke, betrayed the thinker. One
4:18
Speaker 1: of his slender white hands lay at the base of
4:20
Speaker 1: a champagne glass, the other accompanied his long discourses as
4:24
Speaker 1: if he were on a platform or in the pulpit.
4:28
Speaker 1: His handsome blue eyes glowed as though afire with youthful enthusiasm.
4:32
Speaker 1: Opposite him sat a broad-shouldered, bull-neck soldier, with a good-looking,
4:37
Speaker 1: honest peasant's face, grinning, flattered but uncomprehending. More even than
4:42
Speaker 1: the men, the women attracted Myra's attention. They ran the
4:46
Speaker 1: whole gamut of types. Some had on dark jackets with lapels,
4:50
Speaker 1: breast pockets and stiff collars. On their mannishly cut hair
4:54
Speaker 1: they wore small men's hats. Others betrayed themselves only by
4:58
Speaker 1: a slight overpainting. The sharp features of a few expressed
5:02
Speaker 1: intelligence and character. There were others who verged on the cocotte.
5:07
Speaker 1: One in particular Myra thought very beautiful. She was tall
5:11
Speaker 1: and slender, had short golden brown curls and the build
5:15
Speaker 1: and features of a Greek boy. She was sitting with
5:18
Speaker 1: a big party having a very good time, and laughed
5:21
Speaker 1: a lot and seemed slightly drunk. A sweet provocative muffled
5:25
Speaker 1: music issued from behind the curtain. Two young soldiers in
5:28
Speaker 1: uniform had classed one another around the hips and were
5:31
Speaker 1: swaying body to body, in waltz rhythm. Despite their heavy boots,
5:36
Speaker 1: they stepped as delicately and discreetly as women dancers. Not
5:40
Speaker 1: a step was audible. Ah, Emil, said Giesbert. How real
5:45
Speaker 1: life is here. When I think I'll get a bottle
5:47
Speaker 1: of champagne I get it, but when I think I'll
5:50
Speaker 1: get nine bottles I don't get them. No, no, Mr. Giesbert,
5:54
Speaker 1: said Emile, smiling. You can have nine bottles, too. They
5:58
Speaker 1: drank champagne and champagne with red wine and champagne with
6:01
Speaker 1: port and Benedictines and Sweden punches and flips and champagne.
6:06
Speaker 1: Myra drank somewhat prudently, and it amused her to watch
6:09
Speaker 1: how one after the other, they began to talk nonsense.
6:13
Speaker 1: But although she was still mistress of her tongue and
6:16
Speaker 1: her thoughts, she felt her blood pulsing somewhat faster and
6:19
Speaker 1: the music lap her nerves in a warm stream. For
6:23
Speaker 1: a moment as she closed her eyes, she felt a desire,
6:26
Speaker 1: and actually visualized herself sitting by the Rhine, on a
6:29
Speaker 1: terrace or in a garden, listening to old sentimental folk
6:33
Speaker 1: songs from the water, and drinking a fragrant May bowl
6:36
Speaker 1: with trusted friends. When she opened her eyes and saw
6:40
Speaker 1: the room with its morbid color scheme, filled with smoke
6:43
Speaker 1: and fumes, she was overwhelmed with aversion and misery. They
6:47
Speaker 1: had become quite merry at her table. All had soft, parted,
6:51
Speaker 1: burning lips and glowing eyes. All laughed and nestled into
6:55
Speaker 1: their chairs as into a caress, or groped for one
6:58
Speaker 1: another with their hands. Intoxication, intoxication, Myra thought. I must
7:04
Speaker 1: force myself to feel what the others feel. I had
7:07
Speaker 1: such a nice warm sense of well-being before, a soft
7:11
Speaker 1: gliding dizziness. Why has it gone and left everything so
7:15
Speaker 1: stale and horrid? She tossed off two glasses of champagne quickly,
7:19
Speaker 1: one after the other, but she simply felt a dull
7:22
Speaker 1: heavy pressure over her eyes. She held her hand over
7:26
Speaker 1: the glass that Kraft wanted to give her to make
7:28
Speaker 1: her happy. No thanks, please, I have a headache, and
7:32
Speaker 1: I won't become happy anyway. Take a little coke and
7:36
Speaker 1: get rid of your headache, suggested Gisela. Perhaps. Myra was
7:41
Speaker 1: ready for anything. From all sides little gold and silver
7:45
Speaker 1: boxes were offered her. She took a pinch of the
7:48
Speaker 1: white powder on the back of her hand and snuffed
7:51
Speaker 1: it up her nose. She had an impression of powdered
7:54
Speaker 1: snow when she saw the white crystals. The room was
7:57
Speaker 1: close and stuffy and the idea made her feel better.
8:00
Speaker 1: It was as if she were breathing pure clear winter air.
8:04
Speaker 1: The top of her skull opened and the depressing fog
8:07
Speaker 1: that had weighed down her brain all evening disappeared. The
8:10
Speaker 1: veil seemed to be torn from her weary eyes. Everything
8:14
Speaker 1: seemed nearer and clearer, firmer in its outlines, brighter in color.
8:19
Speaker 1: Thank God, she said with relief. I'm beginning to understand.
8:24
Speaker 1: It really is a glorious feeling. But the effect wore
8:27
Speaker 1: off quickly. She tried it again. Her head was clear,
8:31
Speaker 1: her thought firm. She felt well and secure. Giesbert was
8:35
Speaker 1: paying her rather thick-tongued compliments. Splendid, little Rudloff, splendid. The
8:41
Speaker 1: little girl can carry off a thing or two. My
8:44
Speaker 1: highest respects. She'll drink us under the table, will, and
8:48
Speaker 1: snow us under the floor, into the cellar, under the cellar.
8:52
Speaker 1: We just won't be there at all, she makes us
8:54
Speaker 1: look small, so small. Mara Luigi had changed places with
8:58
Speaker 1: Kramer in order to sit beside Myra. She laid both
9:02
Speaker 1: her arms on the arm of Myra's chair and spoke
9:05
Speaker 1: to her in a low voice. Tell me honestly, why
9:08
Speaker 1: is it you don't like me? I've always liked you
9:10
Speaker 1: so immensely. From the very first moment, I'm right in
9:14
Speaker 1: saying that, am I not, Gisela? But at the same time,
9:17
Speaker 1: I've always had the feeling that you couldn't abide me.
9:20
Speaker 1: I'm too feminine for you, eh? But, believe me, the
9:23
Speaker 1: externals have very little to do with it. Or do
9:26
Speaker 1: you prefer bobbed hair? Shall I have my hair bobbed?
9:30
Speaker 1: Myra is the only woman in the world I'd ever marry,
9:34
Speaker 1: declared little John like a sleepy child. I'd marry Myra
9:38
Speaker 1: right off if I were a man. God, what a
9:40
Speaker 1: foreleg the lady has. Craft put his hand around her
9:44
Speaker 1: wrist admiringly. Show us your feet too. Laughing, Myra pressed
9:49
Speaker 1: her crossed feet against the edge of his chair. He
9:52
Speaker 1: stroked her ankles in their sheer silk stockings. Yes, you
9:56
Speaker 1: may stroke them, John conceded magnanimously. You may stroke them
10:01
Speaker 1: because it's Myra, that's why. A great and almost thrilling
10:05
Speaker 1: joy surged over Myra. She felt herself beautiful, desirable and desired.
10:11
Speaker 1: She has the most beautiful legs in the world, said Gisela,
10:15
Speaker 1: pulling back Myra's skirt to her knees. Myra let her
10:18
Speaker 1: do it without protest. For the first time in a
10:21
Speaker 1: burst of pride, she realized herself what perfect slender legs
10:25
Speaker 1: she had. The girl at the other table, who looked
10:28
Speaker 1: like a Greek boy, had been constantly trying to attract
10:32
Speaker 1: Myra's attention. Every time that Myra glanced up, the Greek
10:36
Speaker 1: boy would carry her glass to her mouth. At first
10:39
Speaker 1: she had done it as if by accident, now she
10:42
Speaker 1: smiled as she raised her glass. Myra smiled back and
10:46
Speaker 1: drank to her. Presently the girl wanted to get up.
10:50
Speaker 1: The people at her table laughed and tried to restrain her,
10:53
Speaker 1: but she would not be deterred. Glass in hand, she
10:56
Speaker 1: came over to Myra. The effort to walk without staggering
11:01
Speaker 1: lent her movements an especial grace. I want to drink
11:04
Speaker 1: to you, she said with a challenging little laugh. Myra
11:08
Speaker 1: raised her glass. They drank. The stranger hesitated. And I'd
11:13
Speaker 1: like to give you a kiss too, that is, if
11:16
Speaker 1: Gisela will allow me. Everybody at the table laughed aloud
11:20
Speaker 1: and shouted remarks.' Oh, I allow you,' said Gisela ironically.'
11:24
Speaker 1: There is nothing for her to allow,' Myra contradicted haughtily.
11:30
Speaker 1: The stranger bent quickly, and Myra felt against her lips
11:33
Speaker 1: a hot open wine-wet mouth, for the space of a second.
11:37
Speaker 1: She closed her eyes, and since her head was pressed
11:40
Speaker 1: back into her shoulders, and Craft still held her feet
11:43
Speaker 1: on his chair, She became so dizzy that she gripped
11:46
Speaker 1: her chair with both hands. She felt as if the
11:49
Speaker 1: chair were tipping, the whole room swaying, as if she
11:52
Speaker 1: were on a swing that was plunging through the air,
11:55
Speaker 1: or on a ship whose planks were sprung and were
11:57
Speaker 1: being sucked into a raging whirlpool. She sat up and
12:01
Speaker 1: pushed away the stranger almost violently in her need for air.
12:05
Speaker 1: At the same moment she saw Gisela jump up, deathly
12:09
Speaker 1: pale with her mouth distorted, her head stretched forward like
12:12
Speaker 1: a panther ready to spring. Her burning eyes were staring
12:16
Speaker 1: at the entrance door. Involuntarily Myra followed her glance and
12:20
Speaker 1: saw the dark curtain fall into place behind the latest arrivals.
12:24
Speaker 1: Beside Ulrich Zidane's somewhat stooped figure stood Fiametta, on the
12:29
Speaker 1: arm of a tall, slender, elegant man. Her eyes were
12:32
Speaker 1: large and clear and unsurprised, but full of a probing
12:36
Speaker 1: curiosity and of a warm velvety sheen. To Myra it
12:39
Speaker 1: seemed as if those eyes were not an arm's length
12:42
Speaker 1: away from her. So distinctly could she observe the play
12:45
Speaker 1: of the lids, the flecks of light on the brown iris,
12:49
Speaker 1: the shadow of the lashes. Those eyes were raised with
12:52
Speaker 1: a soft gleam to the man at her side, as
12:54
Speaker 1: if they had had more than enough of the scene
12:56
Speaker 1: before them. Her lips moved. The man nodded in agreement.
13:01
Speaker 1: All three turned, and the curtain fell into place behind
13:05
Speaker 1: them again. Gisela seized a glass from the table and
13:08
Speaker 1: flung it with a bitter laugh at the door. Giesbert
13:11
Speaker 1: and Kraft instantly caught her wrists. She resisted, trying to
13:16
Speaker 1: free herself, but finally dropped her head on her breast
13:19
Speaker 1: and began to cry loudly, unrestrainedly, hysterically. The other people,
13:25
Speaker 1: occupied as they were with themselves, nevertheless watched her attentively.
13:30
Speaker 1: Myra began to tremble in every limb. Go, she muttered.
13:34
Speaker 1: I must go, must go, must go. She felt as
13:38
Speaker 1: if she would join in that strident weeping the next moment,
13:41
Speaker 1: or throw herself on the floor, or overturn the table
13:44
Speaker 1: and trample the glasses and bottles under her feet. She
13:48
Speaker 1: was glad when she found herself in the street at last,
13:51
Speaker 1: in a cold blue dawn, and still gladder to be
13:54
Speaker 1: in the taxi that they all took. The air brought
13:57
Speaker 1: her to her senses. She felt beastly wretched. She made
14:01
Speaker 1: the others swear not to cause any unnecessary commotion on
14:05
Speaker 1: the stairs or in the halls. But the more she pleaded,
14:08
Speaker 1: the more exuberant they became. Kramer had lost control completely.
14:14
Speaker 1: He was all for knocking on Mrs. Meidinger's door and
14:17
Speaker 1: ordering her to send him up a pretty girl. It's
14:20
Speaker 1: no more than her duty, he babbled. She's the mother
14:24
Speaker 1: of this establishment. What's to prevent her putting it on
14:28
Speaker 1: my bill? She puts everything else on it. When Myra
14:32
Speaker 1: opened her door, Giesbert tried to crowd in after her.
14:36
Speaker 1: She pushed him out, but he embraced her and a
14:38
Speaker 1: tussle ensued in the open door in the course of
14:41
Speaker 1: which Giesbert hugged Myra and covered her face and neck
14:44
Speaker 1: with passionate kisses. Suddenly the door of the next room
14:47
Speaker 1: was opened with a bang, and Louisa Peters emerged in
14:50
Speaker 1: an amazing big check dressing gown, with her hair done
14:54
Speaker 1: up for the night in two long smoothly plaited braids.
14:57
Speaker 1: She forcefully commanded quiet. Little Marga Luigi found her unexpected
15:02
Speaker 1: appearance so comical that she bent double. shaking with laughter
15:06
Speaker 1: and pointing her finger at her. Myra took advantage of
15:09
Speaker 1: G's Bert's astonished about face to slip into her room
15:12
Speaker 1: where she shut and bolted the door. She staggered against
15:16
Speaker 1: the bureau with which she supported herself, trembling in every limb.
15:21
Speaker 1: Burning shame was devouring her, gnawing at her inwardly, hollowing
15:25
Speaker 1: her out. She bent double but she could not escape
15:28
Speaker 1: the incessant gnawing pain. She wished she could get away.
15:33
Speaker 1: but she knew she did not have the courage or
15:35
Speaker 1: the strength to pack a suitcase. But she must get away,
15:38
Speaker 1: at least out of that house, before morning. It was
15:42
Speaker 1: unthinkable that she should ever cross the dining room again. Unthinkable, too,
15:47
Speaker 1: to wait for Mrs. Meidinger to give her notice that
15:49
Speaker 1: she could not tolerate such a person in her house.
15:53
Speaker 1: She abhorred she loathed herself. In addition she felt physically wretched. dizziness, weariness,
15:59
Speaker 1: a galloping heart, the gall-like bitterness with which the cocaine
16:03
Speaker 1: burned her jaws. She felt that she must come to
16:06
Speaker 1: some decision, but she did not know what. Her thoughts
16:10
Speaker 1: sought feverishly for something to which they could cling, sought
16:13
Speaker 1: some person to whom they could confess, and who would
16:16
Speaker 1: have the power to absolve them. She was seeking someone
16:20
Speaker 1: who would protect her from herself, to whom she could kneel,
16:23
Speaker 1: in whose lap she could hide her face. and who
16:26
Speaker 1: would lay kind, strong hands on her head. Mother! a
16:30
Speaker 1: voice cried within her. Mother! Her thoughts turned to Sophie,
16:35
Speaker 1: but Sophie repelled them. In that serene little house, which
16:39
Speaker 1: had always been so comforting a refuge to her, she
16:42
Speaker 1: would be a disturber of the peace. Not through any
16:45
Speaker 1: fault of hers, she thought bitterly. Olga, Olga alone with salvation.
16:51
Speaker 1: She would press the revolver to her forehead. would think
16:54
Speaker 1: that it was Olga's cool, firm hand. And Olga's hands
16:57
Speaker 1: would efface, erase, all the painful things, the shame, the remorse,
17:01
Speaker 1: the disgust and grief and hopeless despair. In another moment
17:05
Speaker 1: all that could be effaced. And if she was dead
17:08
Speaker 1: the next morning, everything would be explained. Of course little
17:12
Speaker 1: Mara Luigi would not understand it. She would always declare
17:16
Speaker 1: that Myra had been so cheerful last night. But Fiametta
17:20
Speaker 1: would understand. she would recall the previous night. For she
17:24
Speaker 1: had seen Myra, oh Myra still felt the impact of
17:28
Speaker 1: her glance, and Fiametta would hunch up her shoulders with
17:31
Speaker 1: a sudden shudder at the thought that she had glanced
17:33
Speaker 1: at a dying woman. Louisa Peters would say, poor child,
17:38
Speaker 1: she drank to find the courage. Sophie would be very shocked,
17:42
Speaker 1: perhaps she would be grieved too. But what concern was
17:45
Speaker 1: that of Myra's? Sophie had not given a thought as
17:49
Speaker 1: to what became of Myra. And she had Nora. It
17:52
Speaker 1: must happen quickly before anybody woke up in the house.
17:56
Speaker 1: In twenty seconds it would be over, all over. At
18:00
Speaker 1: that moment when she took the revolver out of the box,
18:03
Speaker 1: there was a knock at the door. Myra stood motionless,
18:06
Speaker 1: holding her breath. Perhaps she ought to do it now,
18:09
Speaker 1: at once, quickly, spurred by that impatient knocking. Then it
18:13
Speaker 1: would be over. Then whoever was outside there could enter.
18:17
Speaker 1: For all she cared. Would it make a loud noise?
18:21
Speaker 1: Probably she wouldn't hear it herself. She hoped not, though
18:25
Speaker 1: of all the senses the ear must function the longest. Ah,
18:28
Speaker 1: perhaps it wouldn't happen so quickly, and she would hear
18:32
Speaker 1: them breaking down the door in the shrieks and cries.
18:35
Speaker 1: Please open the door, called the voice outside. It was
18:39
Speaker 1: as pleading as it was commanding. Please, Miss Rudloff, open
18:43
Speaker 1: the door a moment. It was not Giesbert or Mara
18:46
Speaker 1: Luigi or one of the maids. It was Louisa Peters.
18:50
Speaker 1: Perhaps she was sick and needed someone. She would hardly
18:54
Speaker 1: be rattling Myra's door in the middle of the night
18:56
Speaker 1: to read her a moral lecture. Myra tossed the revolver
19:00
Speaker 1: carelessly into the box and opened the door. Louisa Peters
19:04
Speaker 1: forced her way into the room. She stood broad and robust,
19:08
Speaker 1: and a little ridiculous in her big check dressing gown,
19:12
Speaker 1: in spite of her pale face. Her quick alert I
19:15
Speaker 1: instantly noticed the open box and the revolver with the
19:17
Speaker 1: butt sticking out. but she did not betray this by
19:21
Speaker 1: the slightest gesture. I must beg your pardon, Miss Rudloff,
19:25
Speaker 1: she said with a good-natured smile. I complained because I
19:29
Speaker 1: thought that you came home in a rather happy condition,
19:32
Speaker 1: but I saw at once that you weren't well. You
19:35
Speaker 1: must lie down immediately, you can hardly stand on your feet.
19:39
Speaker 1: Can I help you? You had better believe, I know
19:42
Speaker 1: something about taking care of sick people. While she was speaking,
19:46
Speaker 1: she took Myra's hat from her tangled hair. She. unbuttoned
19:50
Speaker 1: her dress she held myra like a doll turning her
19:54
Speaker 1: this way and that with her strong arms she removed
19:57
Speaker 1: the hurting hair pins from the loosened knots suddenly myra
20:01
Speaker 1: felt the warm presence of a human being felt those
20:05
Speaker 1: good strong solicitous hands It was as if all her
20:08
Speaker 1: festering wounds broke open and warm blood washed away her pain.
20:12
Speaker 1: She began to weep, unappeasable gentle tears, releasing her, rinsing
20:17
Speaker 1: her of pain. I am still too much a child,
20:21
Speaker 1: she said while the tears streamed down her face. You
20:24
Speaker 1: will think I am drunk, but I am perfectly serious.
20:28
Speaker 1: I am still too much a child to run around
20:30
Speaker 1: the world so horribly alone. For three days Louisa Peters
20:34
Speaker 1: held Myra in gentle captivity. She did not leave her
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Speaker 1: alone for a moment, had her meals served in her
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Speaker 1: room and turned away everyone with the announcement that Myra
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Speaker 1: was sick. Myra was perfectly satisfied with this arrangement. She
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Speaker 1: herself would not have found the strength for this lie,
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Speaker 1: and yet she felt the absolute necessity of separating forever
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Speaker 1: from all the people among whom she had lived during
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Speaker 1: the past year. The very first day Louisa Peters endeavored
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Speaker 1: to convince Myra, which did not prove difficult, that her
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Speaker 1: associations were altogether unsuitable, and that the best thing she
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Speaker 1: could do would be to turn her back on that
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Speaker 1: city and all her so-called friends. On the third in
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Speaker 1: the morning, she told Myra a great deal about her
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Speaker 1: native city, of its far-famed cleanliness for which she was
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Speaker 1: constantly longing, of its people who were reputed stiff and
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Speaker 1: formal because they did not wear their hearts on their sleeves,
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Speaker 1: although they were honest and courageous and pure. She told her, too,
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Speaker 1: about her beautiful little stepsister, Gwen who was about Myra's age,
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Speaker 1: though still a child, the carefully sheltered pet of the
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Speaker 1: whole house. She would be a more suitable companion for
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Speaker 1: Myra than these horrible females here. In the afternoon she
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Speaker 1: helped Myra pack her suitcase. Myra wanted to go away,
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Speaker 1: to go to the clean city where the swift white
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Speaker 1: little boats crossed the blue waters. Myra was quite touched
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Speaker 1: by so much kindness and more so, if anything by
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Speaker 1: Louise's confidence. She smiled, a sad and knowing smile, when
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Speaker 1: at parting Louisa Peters took her in her arms and
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Speaker 1: kissed her on both cheeks. At heart I'm at least
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Speaker 1: ten years older than she, she thought sorrowfully. For I
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Speaker 1: know what, God be praised, she does not even suspect,
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Speaker 1: that she's in love with me. Because she has little
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Speaker 1: of the talent of the horrible females. She'll never confess
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Speaker 1: it to herself. Probably she'd have to shoot herself if
22:29
Speaker 1: she admitted it. God grant. that she never becomes conscious.
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Speaker 1: The only person whose hand Myra wished to shake once
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Speaker 1: more was Zacharias. There was much sympathy in his face.
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Speaker 1: Perhaps Louisa Peters had informed him of more than Myra
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Speaker 1: gave her credit for knowing. There is something that you
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Speaker 1: still have to tell me, said Myra with an attempt
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Speaker 1: at smiling. I've often thought of it on sleepless nights
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Speaker 1: and have wanted to ask you, and then I've always forgotten.
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Speaker 1: Do you remember when we were walking out to Mrs.
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Speaker 1: Hersfeld's one day? A sudden shyness prevented her from mentioning
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Speaker 1: Sophie's name. I said that my motto would be love
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Speaker 1: life and be not afraid of death, but you wanted
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Speaker 1: to turn the motto around. Yes, Icarus nodded gravely. Love
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Speaker 1: death and be not afraid of life. Or in other words,
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Speaker 1: and this is my life's motto, a good motto for
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Speaker 1: a long journey. No one ought to die until he
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Speaker 1: has learned to love death.