Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / February 1, 2018 | Men Of Success - Winter 2018, Session 4 - The One Minute Negotiator

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February 1, 2018 | Men Of Success - Winter 2018, Session 4 - The One Minute Negotiator · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

0:00
SPEAKER_01: All right, so anybody have any opportunities to negotiate this past week?
0:05
SPEAKER_01: Anything?
0:06
SPEAKER_01: Win-win, even if it was win-lose.
0:08
SPEAKER_01: So just just a reminder, so remember negotiating is easy.
0:13
SPEAKER_01: E for engage, a for assess, s strategize, and y is your one-minute drill.
0:22
SPEAKER_01: So nice one.
0:24
SPEAKER_01: I always try to, when I whenever I see those, I always try to remember, say, okay, this is an easy way to remember.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: They're giving it to me.
0:30
SPEAKER_01: Let me see if I can uh commit this to memory.
0:32
SPEAKER_01: So uh anyway, I'm gonna turn it over to the guys to uh complete the one-minute negotiator and uh a great sports update.
0:38
SPEAKER_02: So uh it was definitely a win-lose uh this last week with the Jayhawks and Wildcats, wasn't it?
0:45
SPEAKER_02: Isn't it always a win-lose or lose-win?
0:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's kind of hard.
0:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
0:48
SPEAKER_02: Did your coach at Wabash ever tell you let's do a win-win today?
0:52
SPEAKER_02: I don't think so.
0:53
SPEAKER_00: No, I don't think it works that way.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: No, no.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: But I did have a track coach in high school where just about every meet we went to, he said he would sit back and kind of pull his glasses down and say, you know, we're gonna lose today.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: But you go and you try hard.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: That was it.
1:16
SPEAKER_02: All right, here we go.
1:18
SPEAKER_02: The Pro Bowl.
1:19
SPEAKER_02: If you watch the Pro Bowl, though, that was sort of like collaboration.
1:22
SPEAKER_02: We don't really tackle each other.
1:23
SPEAKER_02: We just my my nine-year-old grandson was watching, he loves football.
1:28
SPEAKER_02: He goes, Papa, he says, is this is this touch football?
1:32
SPEAKER_02: Do you want to watch that?
1:33
SPEAKER_02: Or they sort of grab each other and hug each other and then they just stop the play.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: Nobody wants to hurt anybody.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: It's just so faky.
1:41
SPEAKER_02: Like spring training.
1:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:42
SPEAKER_02: This uh the game was kind of.
1:44
SPEAKER_02: I'm glad I didn't go this year.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: I usually go to this game, but K-State didn't really show up.
1:50
SPEAKER_02: And uh so did you guys hear that West Virginia got slaughtered last night by Iowa State of all people?
1:58
SPEAKER_02: That was amazing.
1:59
SPEAKER_02: Cyclones.
2:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:00
SPEAKER_02: I hope they continue playing bad against K-State this week.
2:04
SPEAKER_02: So, and we got the Super Bowl, Christians versus the Lions.
2:08
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's sorry about that.
2:10
SPEAKER_02: Verge, yeah.
2:11
SPEAKER_02: Verge is a big New England fan.
2:13
SPEAKER_02: So here we go.
2:15
SPEAKER_02: Other than Verge, I hope the rest of you are rooting for the righteous uh against the against the cheaters.
2:21
SPEAKER_02: So anyway, sorry, that that's awful.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: That's that's should be a good game, though.
2:26
SPEAKER_02: Really?
2:27
SPEAKER_02: I hope so.
2:28
SPEAKER_02: It'd be nice.
2:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I hope so.
2:31
SPEAKER_02: So we're doing a book.
2:34
SPEAKER_02: And we've the second week, this week, this is why I picked this book.
2:39
SPEAKER_02: This book is uh we get into actually how you negotiate, how you deal with people.
2:45
SPEAKER_02: And um I saw one of the tables had several guys who've negotiated.
2:50
SPEAKER_02: I hope you to share your stories at the table.
2:52
SPEAKER_02: And um, as you think today about how you negotiate with your boss or with your wife or with uh other people in your life, uh, today should be quite helpful.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this will be good.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: So you'll kind of give us a recap and yeah, why don't I give uh recap that uh what to what we're talking about here for some of you who are here for the first time?
3:13
SPEAKER_02: Uh negotiating skills, and the model here is negotiation is a process through which two or more parties whose positions, this is the key line, whose positions are not consistent, not necessarily consistent, work in an effort to reach an agreement.
3:27
SPEAKER_02: Negotiophobia is a disease of attitude and skill in which uh you know we run away from negotiation, we hate negotiation, we tend to just avoid it or accommodate.
3:39
SPEAKER_02: Uh you tell me how much the thing costs, I'll just pay it.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: I won't bargain with you.
3:43
SPEAKER_02: You tell me how much you want to pay me next year at work, and even though it's a drop of 20%, you know, hey, whatever, you know, you're scared to talk to people about that.
3:53
SPEAKER_02: Or uh you want to you want to spend the next four holidays with your mother.
3:58
SPEAKER_02: Uh and really, oh, whatever you say, honey.
4:02
SPEAKER_02: So um, right?
4:04
SPEAKER_02: So here's the three-step easy uh treatment process.
4:08
SPEAKER_02: Don't need to go over that because uh we just heard it.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: Engage us, strategize, easy.
4:15
SPEAKER_02: Negotiation strategy matrix is the last slide we'll look at before uh we'll get into the first chapter.
4:22
SPEAKER_02: Negotiation strategy matrix.
4:24
SPEAKER_02: So we have these four negotiation strategies, right?
4:28
SPEAKER_02: And the one that's proactive, where you go out and do something, is the competitive one and the collaborative one.
4:35
SPEAKER_02: So you're trying to win, you're trying to get something done.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: And the reactive one, the the one that's more common than we'd like to think, is where we avoid, we put our head in the sand like an ostrich, and we say, uh, we don't want to talk to people.
4:50
SPEAKER_02: Accommodate is where you win, you know, where we're the yellow light, we always yield.
4:56
SPEAKER_02: That's accommodating.
4:58
SPEAKER_02: And this book is trying to move you up until the up to the top part of this, where you know, you either you compete or else uh you collaborate but everybody and everybody wins.
5:11
SPEAKER_02: So uh we have three chapters to cover in this book, and then we're gonna get into the sort of advanced negotiating style here.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so here in chapter five, this is where the the A part really kicks off, and it's assessing yourself.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: So, how many of you guys over the last week were able to decide which one of these either a voider, accommodator, competitor, or collaborator you are?
5:38
SPEAKER_00: Raise your hand if you were if you're pretty well able to identify.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: If you weren't able to identify, or you think you have something identified in your mind, one of the things that was interesting and that he points out in the book is that sometimes we can have a slightly different view of ourselves and maybe even unrealistic.
6:02
SPEAKER_00: And so what he does in the book is at this conference where they're at on this cruise ship, he's asking there's actually a quiz uh that goes with it, and there's 20 questions and all this, but he asks for the results, and he says, Okay, how many of you guys are avoiders?
6:19
SPEAKER_00: Nobody raises their hand.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: How many of you guys are accommodators?
6:24
SPEAKER_00: A couple people raise their hand.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: How many of you guys are competitors?
6:29
SPEAKER_00: A couple young guys raise their hand.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: How many of you guys are collaborators, and most of the hands go up?
6:35
SPEAKER_00: Body points out is this isn't realistic.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes when we're doing these self-assessments or we're seeing uh trying to identify how we are ourselves, we can put on a lens of seeing ourselves as we would like to be, or as we would like to be seen.
6:51
SPEAKER_00: And so he says, and probably just like with anything else, some of the best ways to actually decide, okay, which one of these am I most like is to ask somebody else.
7:02
SPEAKER_00: Ask somebody who's close to us, ask our wife, ask one of our good friends, ask, you know, one of our coworkers or our bosses, because they're gonna be able to give that true insight, kind of unbiased, hey, this is kind of how you normally negotiate.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: But he also says that we each have a little bit of these in us.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: And we're not just you know pigeonholed into one, which is a great thing because as we're gonna see through the rest of the chapter, it's not just about collaborating, but there's a different time for each of these.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: And so as a result of going through and doing the easy process, something that he's found consistently is that you've got a lot of accommodators, and so the number of accommodators actually decreases, and the number of competitors will then increase.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: That's that third paragraph there, isn't it?
7:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, as we begin to resist the negotiaphobia, our accommodation tendency drops dramatically because we realize that we, by giving the other side what they ask for, are not building a true relationship but should but just showing weakness.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: And so with this accommodation part, as we see that accommodation drop, and I'm probably more naturally an accommodator, but as we see our accommodations, um accommodation tendency drop, we see our competitive side increase, and we realize, man, maybe there's a lot of negotiations where I just accommodate when I when I actually shouldn't, when I actually should fight for it a little bit, when I actually should have a little bit of stake in the game.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: He says, many use avoidance.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: The this middle paragraph was interesting.
8:47
SPEAKER_00: He says, the more comfortable and skilled we are at using a competitive approach, the more collaborative opportunities will open up for us.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: And this is one that's pretty cool.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: Because what he points out is for the people who are naturally competitors, they really don't expect the other party to compete back.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: They expect them to just kind of accept it and take it and then move on to be the other party to be the accommodator.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: But when you're naturally competitive and then somebody else comes up to compete against you, it actually kind of shocks you a little bit, but then it leads to a collaborative effort because both of you have skin in the game, both of you then are trying to work out the best deal for each other, which is really cool.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: When I was I went down to Atlanta to a big uh promise keepers Shindig, and Tony Evans made a really good point about this.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: I thought he was he was he was pointing out that oftentimes when we guys when guys become Christians, especially in the middle of life, they think that uh being a Christian means you need to accommodate.
9:53
SPEAKER_02: I he didn't use the word accommodate, but you need need to just give in all the time.
9:57
SPEAKER_02: And as a result, he said men, men leave the leadership even in their homes because they become accommodators.
10:03
SPEAKER_02: Whatever you say, honey, whatever you say, honey.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: And he said homes are desperately in need of men who will be leaders.
10:11
SPEAKER_02: And uh I you know, I thought that was Tony's a good Tony's a friend of mine, and I just thought he was so bold to say that.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: Because I think there's a lot of truth in it.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: I think when guys are Christians, they somehow think, well, uh being nice means I always need to be, you know, saying yes or no, sir, instead of instead of standing up for themselves.
10:30
SPEAKER_02: One of the other things that I I he made a quick comment in in this chapter that I appreciated, Derek, and that was that uh um that you can be really different in one part of your life.
10:41
SPEAKER_02: You can be like um you can be really competitive, like I am in sports, or at least I used to be.
10:47
SPEAKER_02: You know, there's a couple of guys who used to play basketball with me at the Y who've come to church and walked in the door and said, Oh my goodness.
10:53
SPEAKER_02: I looked up there and saw you and thought, how can he be a pastor?
10:56
SPEAKER_02: Because he was so dang competitive at uh at the Y.
11:00
SPEAKER_02: But so you can be super competitive in one thing, but then you could be an accommodator and withdraw, let's say when you're at home.
11:07
SPEAKER_02: In fact, that's that's oftentimes what the joke about CEOs of major companies who are real lions at business, then come home and they're super passive.
11:17
SPEAKER_02: And uh, which is really what Tony was, I think, attacking.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: But this is this next part is is interesting too, is because it's about the other person.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: How do we do that?
11:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:28
SPEAKER_02: Well, he says, What if you're going into people say, what if you're going into some sort of a negotiation and you don't know what the other party is like?
11:36
SPEAKER_02: Say you're selling a car, you're selling a house, you really don't know that person.
11:39
SPEAKER_02: And he says, but most people are extremely predictable, and the key is to be observant, see what kind of a personality they have.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: Are they a driver?
11:48
SPEAKER_02: That means, you know, a really strong personality who tend to be competitive.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: Are they an expressive, a very talking about going, friendly type person?
11:56
SPEAKER_02: Are they an analytical, kind of, you know, quiet mathematician, you know, considering everything, always asking for details?
12:03
SPEAKER_02: Or are they an amiable, sort of like a puppy who's just, you know, they may not talk a lot, but they're just so friendly, they're always trying to please.
12:11
SPEAKER_02: The analyticals and amiables, he said, are sort of slow-paced.
12:14
SPEAKER_02: You need to know that.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: And uh the amiables and expressives are really people focused.
12:21
SPEAKER_02: The drivers and expressives are very fast-paced.
12:24
SPEAKER_02: So he says you need to negotiate with them in different ways.
12:28
SPEAKER_02: How do you negotiate with a negoti with an analytical?
12:31
SPEAKER_02: Some of you are married to really thoughtful uh uh wives who read a lot, let's say, who are kind of quiet, who who don't like the public.
12:40
SPEAKER_02: How do you deal with an analytical, a person at work who's very slow-paced, very task-focused?
12:46
SPEAKER_02: Well, you don't give them any surprises.
12:48
SPEAKER_02: You do give them the facts.
12:50
SPEAKER_02: You know, you don't talk about feelings, it's just the facts, ma'am.
12:53
SPEAKER_02: You get all your data in a row.
12:55
SPEAKER_02: They don't want to make a decision unless they have all of the facts and figures.
12:58
SPEAKER_02: They need time to process it, and their major fear in life is making a decision that's mistaken.
13:04
SPEAKER_02: So your job is to prove to them that they're not going to make a mistake by buying that car, buying that house, or making that deal with you, or or uh deciding where you're gonna go on vacation or something like that.
13:18
SPEAKER_02: Now, the important thing is this is not helpful to you unless you say, well, now who in my life do I deal with who's an analytical?
13:25
SPEAKER_02: Secondly, how do you deal with a driver?
13:27
SPEAKER_02: This is a person who's who's you know like a CEO type, who's like uh forceful, who's always trying to get you to do things.
13:35
SPEAKER_02: I meet with all kinds of people and I'm you know about to eat lunch with a guy who's all you know, these are the people who come into your life and she always wants you, let's say she's always after you to become more politically involved, or he's always after you to become uh more involved in the thing that you know, whatever it is that he likes, some sort of a mission.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: So, how do you negotiate with people who are competitive drivers?
13:56
SPEAKER_02: Well, the first thing is really important.
13:58
SPEAKER_02: Don't be intimidated by them, even though they come at you like a whirlwind.
14:03
SPEAKER_02: Number two, survive their opening competitive gambit.
14:06
SPEAKER_02: They'll always come after you and sort of put you in a position where they've just hit you in the solar plexus and you tend, you know, to make you accommodate.
14:14
SPEAKER_02: And uh well, you need to survive that so you stay on the same level with them.
14:18
SPEAKER_02: They have one big issue, he says.
14:20
SPEAKER_02: Address that issue, talk right at it.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: Four, don't bore them with details.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: Their major fear is failure, so your job is to show them that they'll succeed in your negotiation.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: So the question is who do you deal with at working home as a driver?
14:34
SPEAKER_02: Third, how do you negotiate with these really fun natural collaborators, the expressives, who are fast-paced, they talk a lot, they're very friendly.
14:44
SPEAKER_02: Everybody loves spending time with them, like my wife.
14:47
SPEAKER_02: Well, they're natural collaborators, they love to collaborate.
14:51
SPEAKER_02: But the problem is they have a short attention span, they move very quickly.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: Now they like and need being pushed or prodded.
14:58
SPEAKER_02: You're laughing, Jason.
14:59
SPEAKER_02: Why?
15:00
SPEAKER_02: Is this you?
15:01
SPEAKER_02: I know.
15:02
SPEAKER_02: That's what I thought.
15:03
SPEAKER_02: But I mean everybody everybody loves Jason.
15:06
SPEAKER_02: Everybody loves expressives.
15:08
SPEAKER_02: But they're the danger is now, of course, this isn't this next one's not true of Jason.
15:12
SPEAKER_02: They're impulsive and flighty, so you may need to work with their analytical partner or spouse on the details.
15:18
SPEAKER_02: Don't deal the details with them, deal with their right-hand person who handles the details.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: Their number one fear is being bored.
15:26
SPEAKER_02: So your job is to keep the whole negotiation process fun and interesting.
15:30
SPEAKER_02: So who do you deal with who's an expressive?
15:34
SPEAKER_02: Now, I gotta say about Jason, he may be expressive, but there's enough analytical in you that you can run a huge program, you can come up with and run a huge program, you know, called, you know, uh uh cat catalyst?
15:49
SPEAKER_02: No.
15:49
SPEAKER_02: Catapult.
15:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
15:51
SPEAKER_02: And you're also a driver, so you're always looking around going, anyway.
15:55
SPEAKER_02: So how do you negotiate then with an amiable?
15:57
SPEAKER_02: Everybody thinks the amiable would be the best person.
15:59
SPEAKER_02: This is the sort of a quiet person, a little bit slow, but they're always very, you know, they're always sort of agreeable.
16:06
SPEAKER_02: He says, don't fool yourself.
16:08
SPEAKER_02: This is actually the hardest group to negotiate with.
16:11
SPEAKER_02: Why?
16:12
SPEAKER_02: Because while they're friendly and caring, they postpone decisions.
16:16
SPEAKER_02: They'll drive you crazy with their sort of passive aggressive fact that they nod the whole time and then say no at the end.
16:22
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
16:23
SPEAKER_02: They're the ultimate postponers, accommodators, they're avoiders.
16:27
SPEAKER_02: They fear offending someone, anyone.
16:30
SPEAKER_02: They don't want to make a decision that might possibly have a 5% chance of offending someone's second cousin once removed.
16:37
SPEAKER_02: So your job is to show them how Sam, you're laughing.
16:41
SPEAKER_02: Um is that right?
16:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's a little amiable.
16:44
SPEAKER_02: Your job is to show how everyone will smile in the end.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: Who do you deal with isn't aimable?
16:50
SPEAKER_02: Isn't this good stuff?
16:52
unknown: Yeah.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: It's all interesting stuff, and it's they're all just different personality types.
16:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: They're just different.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: Not one's not right and one's not wrong.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: They're just different.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: And so I can't figure out what personality type.
17:04
SPEAKER_02: Which of those are you?
17:04
SPEAKER_02: You're a little bit of a driver.
17:06
SPEAKER_02: Um you're a little bit analytical as well.
17:09
SPEAKER_02: You know, you love you love studying that Greek stuff and that seminary stuff.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: I think the the one that probably sticks out to me if I were to choose one, I would be more of an analytical.
17:19
SPEAKER_02: Huh?
17:20
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm and that's something I tell our interns at the beginning of the summer, said, You guys are gonna have 10,000 ideas and you want to do everything today.
17:28
SPEAKER_00: I want to hear your ideas, bring them to me, but just know that I'm not just gonna say yes to everything that you ask right on the spot because we there's other factors that we need to consider before we just agree to do something.
17:42
SPEAKER_00: And Sam's laughing.
17:43
SPEAKER_02: But when this guy says that everybody is a combination of the four, I think of you that way.
17:48
SPEAKER_02: You know, you're you're a good example of someone who's got a little bit of all four.
17:52
SPEAKER_02: Jason would be a stronger yeah.
17:54
SPEAKER_02: So so this chapter seven is more, I think this is sort of an advanced strategy here.
17:58
SPEAKER_02: Would you take us through chapter seven?
18:00
SPEAKER_00: This is advanced stuff.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: This this is cool.
18:02
SPEAKER_00: And this is about choosing, this is the S, this is the strategize.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: So choosing which strategy is going to be best for your particular situation for that particular encounter.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: And one of the big things that he points out is that one size does not fit all.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: This isn't you know, this isn't a flex fit hat, and it'll fit pretty much everybody.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: You have to choose, you have to be able to go through the E, go through the A, where are they at, where am I at, and then decide, okay, which one's going to be best.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: And so he starts with the saying collaborating is not the best.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: And goes through and says, sometimes there's an avoidance that you have to do.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the best strategy is accommodating, sometimes the best strategy is competing.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: And so when do we know when to avoid?
18:53
SPEAKER_00: When do we know when to avoid?
18:54
SPEAKER_00: And he points out really a couple of things.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: When you don't care for anything they have to offer.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: So you're you're talking with them, but in your mind you're thinking, I'm actually not going to use this.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: I've decided I don't like Audis.
19:07
SPEAKER_02: I am going to leave the Audi a lot and go and look for something different.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: When it's something that you really don't care about, it's something that's really unimportant to you, doesn't really matter what the thing is that gets done as long as something gets done.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: Or when you've already decided to go somewhere else.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: So one of the examples is so we take the youth on a Worlds of Fun trip in September, and we ask them to bring their friends and all this stuff.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: And we actually have a meal there, we have lunch there, and they're able to cater, and they usually have you know four different main courses that you can choose from for lunch.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: And Lori handles uh our student ministry assistant, she handles a lot of that kind of stuff, and she'll ask me, Okay, which one do you want?
19:48
SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: You can pick any main course, it like doesn't matter.
19:52
SPEAKER_00: Um I don't even want to be in the negotiation process.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: So that's an avoidance thing.
19:57
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes that's the best.
19:59
SPEAKER_02: For instance, when Jesus is up before Pilate, there's nothing that Pilate can offer him that he wants.
20:04
SPEAKER_02: Pilate says, defend yourself.
20:06
SPEAKER_02: Jesus doesn't want to defend himself because he knows he needs to go to the cross.
20:10
SPEAKER_02: So Jesus remains silent.
20:11
SPEAKER_02: That's avoidance.
20:14
SPEAKER_00: Now here's this next one accommodation.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: When do we when do we accommodate?
20:18
SPEAKER_00: When's a good time to give in and not be the competitor, not be the collaborator?
20:25
SPEAKER_00: Uh one, when you have no leverage, and two, when you're desperate.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: So the example that he gives is, and we talked about it last week.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: You're in the car and you run out of gas and you're in the desert, and there's one guy who comes and he's got the only gas, you don't really have room to leverage.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: You don't have room to argue, you don't have room to negotiate, you just need to accommodate, say, yes, sir, I'll pay whatever, and then move on.
20:51
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm only paying a$229.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Here's another part, especially for business guys, maybe a situation where you might be more of an accommodator, is if you have a startup, you're you're just starting your business, you don't have a lot of money, you don't have a lot of stake in the game, you don't have these other businesses to prove your portfolio, you probably don't have a lot of room to leverage when you're choosing a building and somebody's giving you an offer to you know to use their space.
21:20
SPEAKER_02: In the Bible, of course, the there's times you don't accommodate.
21:24
SPEAKER_02: I mean, when when God says to you, Moses, don't come any closer, take off your sandals, you're on holy ground.
21:30
SPEAKER_02: You it's not a time to bargain.
21:33
SPEAKER_02: It's a time to take off your sandals.
21:35
SPEAKER_02: Or we're preaching on Ezekiel on Sunday.
21:37
SPEAKER_02: When God says, Ezekiel, I know you don't you're not going to want to do this, but I've made you a watchman for the house of Israel.
21:43
SPEAKER_02: Whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you give them warning from me.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, your life is my life.
21:48
SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry.
21:48
SPEAKER_02: You have no choice.
21:49
SPEAKER_02: It's time to accommodate.
21:51
SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry I spelled that word wrong there.
21:53
SPEAKER_02: So um when when then do would you like you know think it's best to get competitive in negotiation?
21:59
SPEAKER_02: You want to tell us about that?
22:00
SPEAKER_00: This is important.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: So when when the other side is competitive, then it's it that's one of the times when it's good to compete.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: Because something that was interesting and I've never thought about before, but he said when you've got the other side and they're competing, they're in it to win, they're in it to get their way, to make it happen, they're not they're not on the collaborating status, and you come in and you're trying to be a collaborator, what ends up happening is you quickly turn from a collaborator to an accommodator because they're out to win and you're not in the battle, you're not fighting for anything.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: So that was interesting.
22:39
SPEAKER_00: When you realize that a little bit of competition now might be good for the long haul in building those relationships further, in um keeping that contract and doing business well in the community where there's other competitors and there's other places that they can go.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: So some people like to compete.
22:57
SPEAKER_02: Or because if you start out accommodating, it's really tough then later, you know, to move up to competition.
23:04
SPEAKER_02: Because they're used to you just giving in.
23:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:07
SPEAKER_00: And so if they're if they are so used to you giving in, then then when it comes to time where you want to maybe up the stakes a little bit, you want to compete a little bit, they might say, uh we'll go with someone else more quickly.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: Or if it's a non-negotiable, then these are times to compete, these are times to fight, such as the gospel.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: If we're if we're fighting for the gospel, you know, we see Paul and Peter, and Paul does not waver on this.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: Paul does not waver on the gospel.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: He stayed, you know, it's by faith in Christ, it's through what Christ did on the cross.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: And it's not about the works, it's not about all that other stuff that'll earn our way to heaven.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: And so that's a time where we compete when we know it's right, when the other side is definitely wrong, especially when it's things that are non-negotiable like this.
23:57
SPEAKER_02: And I now I threw in one more that I didn't talk to you about yesterday, because last week you talked about compromise, which I thought is important because that's something we oftentimes start with.
24:07
SPEAKER_02: And he says, No, you know, you pointed out last week uh you should only do it late in negotiation when you're close to an agreement.
24:15
SPEAKER_02: In fact, he put that um, you know, when you were explaining the the uh compete-collaborate thing last week, Derek, you you you mentioned that compromise is kind of something in the middle that he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, he's not really for.
24:29
SPEAKER_02: So he says do it only late in the negotiation process after you try all the other strategies, when only a small gap remains on one issue, and then you tie the compromise into an agreement.
24:42
SPEAKER_02: So so let's say um you'd like to uh buy the house, you know, for a hundred and they want to sell the house, and you've you've gotten close, you're within two thousand dollars.
24:53
SPEAKER_02: And so his point would be uh, you know, well, tie it with something else.
24:57
SPEAKER_02: You know, if they'll if they'll pay for part of the roofing, you know, then you'll pay them in the 102,000 or something.
25:02
SPEAKER_02: I think that's what he's saying there, right?
25:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
25:05
SPEAKER_00: That's a really good strategy.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: Here's a quick tip for you guys a little story.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: Jason and I have experience with this with this, and it's actually really cool.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: But sometimes when you go to the grocery store, there's a great thing that you can do, and it involves negotiation where you can actually get lower prices on meat.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: And maybe some of you guys have done this before.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: But what and my wife Gabby started getting me hooked on this because she does it all the time.
25:33
SPEAKER_00: And so you go to the store, there's the meat there, and sometimes they have the markdown prices because it's getting close to the expiration date for the meat.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: And what she'll do, and and what I've done a few times, is you go there, and so they already have the meat marked down, and so they've got you know their sticker price, their competitive price on it.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: But you can actually take that to the butcher, to the guy who's working in the back, or the lady, and say, Hey, this is gonna expire in in two days, or this is gonna expire in one day.
26:02
SPEAKER_00: Is there a way that we can lower the price on this even more?
26:07
SPEAKER_00: And they say, usually they'll say, Oh, I don't know if we can do that.
26:11
SPEAKER_00: And then we'll have to say, Well, are you sure?
26:13
SPEAKER_00: Because if it just sits here and nobody buys it, then it's gonna have to go bad and you're gonna have to throw it away.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: And then they'll say, All right, let me see what I can do.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: So they take it to the back and they lower it down.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: And you can get meat from just about any store for like 50 cents a pound or 40 cents a pound or whatever when it's close to the expiration date.
26:33
SPEAKER_00: You take it home, you put it in the freezer, and it's great.
26:36
SPEAKER_00: So use the negotiation strategies to save money in America.
26:40
SPEAKER_02: I thought I heard you guys talking about this last week.
26:42
SPEAKER_02: I go, what?
26:43
SPEAKER_02: You can't do that.
26:44
SPEAKER_02: He says, No, we do it all the time.
26:46
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
26:47
SPEAKER_02: I've lived most of my life as a cheapskate, not realizing how much money I could have saved.
26:53
SPEAKER_02: So that's really cool.
26:55
SPEAKER_02: Hey, next week we have a very interesting book.
26:58
SPEAKER_02: We'll just do it for one week.
26:59
SPEAKER_02: Very interesting book.
27:00
SPEAKER_02: It explains why 80% of businesses fail.
27:03
SPEAKER_02: 80% of startups fail.
27:05
SPEAKER_02: And uh we'll we'll see what the one the there's about one important thing we can learn from why they fail.
27:11
SPEAKER_02: So we got some good uh group discussion questions, Derek, I think, where uh you recite that easy process.
27:18
SPEAKER_02: And if you tried it last week, share your story with a group.
27:20
SPEAKER_02: Number two, assess yourself.
27:22
SPEAKER_02: Do you tend to avoid, walk away, accommodate, yield quickly, compete, do battle, or collaborate?
27:28
SPEAKER_02: Talk, talk till you're both happy.
27:30
SPEAKER_02: Third, mention a person you're in negotiations with.
27:32
SPEAKER_02: Is he or she an analytical, a driver, an expressive, or an amiable?
27:36
SPEAKER_02: By the way, which of the four are you?
27:38
SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
27:39
SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: Heavenly Father, thanks for Jesus.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for the cross, thank you for salvation and how you continue to work in our lives every single day, and that you're always with us.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for this group of guys, and I pray that we would be lights in our workplaces, lights in our homes for you.
27:54
SPEAKER_00: Help us this week, help us to identify these negotiating strategies and to be able to strategize and use the correct, uh, the most appropriate strategy in those specific situations.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: In Jesus' name.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: Amen.